


California

by Cinderpaw1, ukesama



Series: Beat the Odd 'verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: College AU, Depression warning, Established Relationship, F/M, M/M, This fic is not for those easily triggered, anxiety warning, drug use warning, ptsd warning, self harm warning, suicide warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-17
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-04 21:27:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 61
Words: 217,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4153557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinderpaw1/pseuds/Cinderpaw1, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ukesama/pseuds/ukesama
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 2 of Beat the Odds. This can be read as a standalone, however, many references will be made to the previous part. It is highly recommended to read part 1 first. </p>
<p>Dean and Castiel have finally made it to California, ready to begin their lives together. But while California is a haven compared to the hell that was Lawrence, there are still many challenges ahead of them, including college, married life, jealousy, and unhealthy friendships. Will Dean and Cas' relationship be able to withstand the pressures that adulthood puts on them?</p>
<p>This story includes graphic descriptions of depression, self harm, attempted suicide, anxiety attacks, and episodes of PTSD. This story is not for those easily triggered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Home Sweet Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! We're so happy to be bringing you part 2, and all of the new adventures that await Dean and Castiel. 
> 
> Just to update you guys, we are switching around the updating schedule. Rather than three times a week, we're going to update this fic on Sundays and Wednesdays in order to update our other fic, Life's A Bitch, twice a week as well. We apologize for any inconvenience, but we just wanted to give both of our fics lots of love.
> 
> For those just joining us, we highly recommend that you read part one first. However, this fic can be read by itself if you so choose. 
> 
> Anyways, without further ado~
> 
> **SPOILERS**
> 
> After an easy drive from Lawrence, the three boys have finally arrived at their new apartment. After unpacking what they can with only the beds in the house, Sam goes for a walk while Castiel and Dean break in the bed by having Castiel top for the first time.
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Mild anxiety attack, low self esteem
> 
> **KINKS**  
>  Bottom Dean

Chapter 1

Castiel chuckled, and helped the brothers unload their bags into their new apartment, helping to sort through their clothes and hang them in the respective closets. "The appliances and chairs should be here tomorrow, and the couch, bookshelves, and dressers should be here the day after," he informed them.

"Mmh... Sounds good," Dean said as he stretched slightly. "Man... This is going so smoothly, I almost can't believe it. Nothing ever goes this smoothly for us."

Sam chuckled. "It's about time something went as planned," he pointed out. "Well, I'm going to go explore for a few hours. Yes Dean, I'll have my phone, I'll call you if something Happens, blah blah blah," Sam chuckled. "Just get it all out of your systems before I get back."

Dean huffed and smacked Sam gently on the shoulder. "All right. Just don't get into any trouble," he said and crossed his arms.

"Since when do I get into trouble? It's always you two," he teased, getting the key from Castiel before letting himself out.

When Sam was gone, Castiel fit himself into Dean's arms, holding him close. "Are you sure you want to do this?" he had to confirm, had to be sure Dean wanted this as much as he did.

Dean wrapped his arms properly around Castiel, and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure," he murmured. He wanted to give Castiel everything, and this was something he’d thought about but never had admitted to thinking about. Not even to himself. He hadn’t thought Castiel wanted it until now.

Castiel nodded as well, leaning up to kiss Dean, just as sweetly and hesitantly as he did when they first kissed. Dean kissed back gently, and closed his eyes. He was nervous, but tried to stay calm.

Castiel just kissed him like that for a while, before the kiss broke and he laced their fingers together, leading Dean to their bedroom and their new bed, which Castiel had already made up. He let go of Dean's hand to dig through their bags to find the lube and condoms that had come with them, coming back to the bed when he found them.

Dean hadn't even sat on the bed yet, and he wondered why when he sat down to wait for Castiel. The bed was just perfect. "This bed is awesome," he murmured as he moved further onto the bed, to give Castiel space.

Castiel chuckled as he joined Dean on the bed. "This is quite comfortable," he replied, crawling up until he was over the other, kissing him soft and slow, almost hesitantly exploring the other's familiar mouth.

Dean sighed softly as he let Castiel in, and cradled Castiel's face in his hands as he kissed back. He was thankful for the slow pace, as it calmed his nerves. Castiel kissed him for a while, until the kiss broke for them to breathe. He panted softly before slowly trailing gentle kisses down Dean's jaw and up to his ear, nipping on the lobe before kissing down his neck, finding the sensitive spots and marking them.

Dean moved his hands to slowly caress Castiel's sides. He closed his eyes as he bared his neck for his fiancé, moaning and breathing shakily as Castiel marked him up. "That's good..."

"I want you to let go tonight," Castiel murmured. "Let me hear every noise, so I know if I'm doing the right thing." he nipped at the skin gently, his hands sliding underneath Dean's shirt until he pulled it off.

Dean swallowed, and arched and shifted his body to help get his shirt off. "Well, I... I'll do my best," he said quietly, not sure if he would be able to let go completely, but he was willing to try.

Castiel nodded, and dipped down to kiss along his lover's collarbone, his hands tracing every angel and curve on Dean's torso, taking the time to explore the other's body like he had never touched it before. He kissed down Dean's chest, and took a nipple into his mouth, sucking it gently.

Dean's face felt hot as he looked down at Castiel, watching him quietly. At first he was biting his lip, but eventually stopped to let himself be noisy - even though the sounds he made were quiet and sometimes shaky.

The quiet noises Dean was making sent a bolt of arousal straight through Castiel, and he let out a soft moan against Dean's chest. "Fuck..." he whispered softly. "That....that is one of the biggest turn ons I have ever experienced..." he shifted, taking Dean's other nipple in his mouth to give it the same attention.

Dean huffed softly at Castiel's words, then sucked in a breath as Castiel sucked on his other nipple. "You enjoy it when I'm noisy...?" he murmured, moving his right hand to rest on the bed above his head.

"Yes..." Castiel murmured when he let go of it. "I enjoy it quite a lot." he leaned back then to remove his own shirt, before he went back down to start kissing down Dean's stomach, dipping his tongue into the other's navel.

"Nnh... It's a good thing w-we're alone, then," Dean said quietly, heat gathering in his abdomen as Castiel was moving lower.

Castiel started to suck marks on Dean's hips, his hands gently caressing Dean's thighs. "Mine," he whispered possessively.

Dean chuckled, and reached down with his left hand to pet Castiel's hair. "Yeah... All yours, tiger," he breathed out.

Castiel smiled, and nuzzled his face into Dean's crotch, mouthing at the bulge through his jeans.

Dean moaned softly and spread his legs, his eyes closing again. "Ah- Fuck, Cas..."

Castiel continued mouthing and breathing hotly over the bulge before undoing the zipper and button, pulling Dean's jeans off, but leaving his boxers on. He kissed up Dean's legs, and when he reached the scarred thighs, he started kissing along every line.

Dean shuddered at the feeling of Castiel's mouth on his thighs, and made a slightly choked up noise as he remembered how Castiel had kissed his thigh, when he got to see the scars for the first time.

Castiel kissed along as many scars as he could before he sucked a mark on Dean's inner thigh, making his way up to mouth at Dean's erection through his boxers, kissing and licking the bulge, able to taste the precome already dampening them.

Dean couldn't help but squirm and pant softly, his erection straining against the material that gradually got more damp with saliva and precome. "Fuck, fuck," he whimpered quietly.

Castiel pulled away and pulled Dean's boxers down, before taking a finger and tracing a prominent vein. "I'm going to get you close before I prep you," he murmured. "Tell me when you're close, okay?"

Dean moaned softly, and then he nodded slowly. "Okay, Cas... I... I will."

Castiel smiled and leaned down to take Dean in his mouth, sucking.

Dean threw his head back and groaned. "Fuuuck..."

Castiel started to bob his head, taking Dean to the back of his throat easily.

Dean pressed his hips down into the mattress and grasped the pillow under his head, breathing heavily. "Aaah shit..."

Castiel whimpered softly, bucking his hips into the bed, needing friction, so aroused from Dean's cries.

Dean let himself get lost in the wonderful feeling of Castiel's warm, wet mouth around him, the pressure in his stomach gradually building up. "F-fuck, Cas... So good," he moaned. Castiel smiled, and hummed, moaning again, letting the vibrations travel. Dean squirmed again and whimpered, the feeling almost too much.

Castiel moaned again, and pulled off, panting softly. "I'm going to prep you," he murmured softly, reaching for the lube, his other hand coming up to stroke Dean.

Dean breathed heavily, and nodded quickly. "Y-yeah... Yeah, okay," he whispered, and focused on the hand that was stroking him.

Castiel opened the lid and covered his fingers, bringing his hand down to gently press into Dean's perineum, a sensation the other was familiar with. Dean made a soft noise at the touch, and turned slightly tense, though not too much since the feeling was familiar.

"It's okay, I've got you," Castiel whispered, taking the tip into his mouth as he simultaneously ran his finger over Dean's entrance, not pressing, just running the tip over, to try to get Dean used to this sensation first.

Dean shuddered slightly at the feeling of Castiel's slick finger against his skin, but with a couple of deep breaths and Castiel's mouth on his erection, he managed to relax.

Castiel continued to stroke Dean, gently applying a little bit of pressure. He pulled his mouth off to speak. "Dean, you need to relax, please… It'll be better, I promise. You have to trust me."

"O-okay..." Dean bit into his lip and nodded slowly. He started to take deep, calm breaths, and did his best to relax. Castiel took Dean in his mouth again as he gently pressed the tip of a finger in. Dean clenched for a moment, then he relaxed, his muscles giving in and letting Castiel's finger inside.

Castiel paused. "You okay?" he asked softly.

Dean nodded quickly. "Y-yeah... I'm fine. Just... New feeling."

Castiel nodded. "Okay, let me know if you need me to stop or slow down," he murmured, gently pressing his finger in deeper.

"Yeah... I... I will..." Dean swallowed as he gripped the pillow tight, focusing on that and remaining relaxed.

Castiel continued stroking him as he gently started to wiggle his finger, opening Dean up. Dean loosened up as he gradually got used to the feeling of something inside of him, and Castiel stroking his erection helped a lot.

"You okay?" Castiel murmured softly. "I'm going to put another finger in, if you're ready..."

"Yeah, I'm okay... Go ahead," Dean murmured back, and mentally prepared himself.

Castiel nodded, and gently pressed a second finger in. Dean bit into his lip at the stretch, and breathed deeply through his nose.

"I've got you, I'm right here," Castiel murmured, stilling his fingers to let Dean adjust.

"Y-yeah... I know... You're hard to miss," Dean said in an attempt to be funny, but it was slightly strained. "I'm okay..."

Castiel took Dean in his mouth again as he pressed both fingers in deep, scissoring and working them to gently open Dean up further. Dean whimpered softly at the feeling, and he did his best to focus on Castiel's mouth. Castiel crooked his fingers slightly, pressing gently against Dean's inner walls until he found the telltale ridge that was Dean's prostate. He sucked hard on the tip as he pressed into Dean's prostate.

"F-fuck!" Dean gasped and bucked his hips, his muscles tensing and clamping down on Castiel's fingers.

Castiel choked slightly and had to pull off of Dean. "That was your prostate," he told the other after he finished coughing. "Now do you see why I enjoy it when you find it?"

"Shit... I'm sorry..." Dean's cheeks were red in embarrassment. "Yeah, I... I think I get it now... It's... Wow"

Castiel nodded, rubbing Dean's thigh with his other hand, and gently stroking his prostate, feeling Dean relax even more after the initial clamp. "It's okay," he murmured. "And that… Is phenomenal. Wait until I'm inside, it's even better then," he promised softly.

Dean licked his lips and nodded slowly, then moaned softly. "Yeah... Yeah. Okay. I trust you," he murmured.

Castiel nodded, stretching him out a little further before adding a third finger, careful eyes on Dean. "Do you want to go to four, or do you want to try?" he asked. He was thinner than Dean was, as far as their cocks went, and Castiel was very okay with only going up to three fingers. But this was Dean's first time, and Castiel would be damned if he hurt the other.

Dean found that when he was relaxed and not so freaking tense, it really wasn't so bad. It was actually good, despite the burn from being stretched by Castiel's fingers. He chewed on his lip as he looked at Castiel. "I... I want to try," he replied.

Castiel nodded, gently stroking Dean's prostate as he withdrew his fingers, before ripping open a condom and covering himself with lube, stroking a few times. He shifted until he was in position, the head nudging Dean's entrance. He kissed Dean gently. "Tell me if you need me to stop," he whispered, nervous, but he slowly pressed in until the head breached Dean.

"Yeah... Okay." Dean breathed deeply as he braced himself. The head of Castiel's cock was thicker than his fingers, and he had to clench his jaws tightly to keep himself quiet. He breathed shakily, and tried to spread his legs wider. He felt a little pathetic, because Castiel hadn’t been this tense when they had first gone all the way.

Castiel froze for a moment, and leaned in to kiss Dean, finding one of his hands and lacing their fingers together. He let Dean adjust before he pressed in a little farther, pausing for another few minutes before he had completely bottomed out. He was trembling, letting out soft gasps of his own, the sensation intense.

Dean whimpered quietly and squeezed Castiel's hand, his eyes closed and mouth hanging open as he breathed. He clutched the sheets with his free hand. "F-fuck... So deep, Cas," he whispered.

"So tight...fuck, Dean, how can you last as long as you do...?" Castiel whimpered, his own mouth wide open as he tried to breathe, letting out soft noises with each exhale. "I move now, I'm done..

The corner of Dean’s mouth quirked in amusement. "You just said fuck... And... I've had a lot of practice..."

Castiel whimpered as Dean clenched slightly around him, no even thinking about if. "Dean, I'm not going to last long at all..." he moaned softly, body trembling. "I'm sorry..."

Dean let go of the sheets, and reached up to touch Castiel's cheeks. "Hey... It's fine... I won't be mad,” he murmured. "You can move, if you want..."

Castiel nodded, slowly pulling back and pressing back in, letting out a soft whine, holding almost desperately to Dean's hand. Dean bit back a noise as he shuddered at the feeling, and loosely wrapped his legs around Castiel's waist. Castiel moaned, and thrust slowly and shallowly into Dean's body, his own shaking from the sensation.

Dean pressed the side of his face into the pillow, soon letting go of his lip to gasp and whine softly with each thrust.

Castiel cried out, his hips stuttering. "Close..." he whined, moaning and trembling.

"It's okay... I want you to come for me, Cas..." Dean breathed shakily.

Castiel only lasted three more thrusts until he came, twitching and crying out as he filled the condom, amazed at the tightness and heat from the other. He collapsed, panting, his head buried into Dean's neck.

Dean made a noise as Castiel collapsed on top of him, but didn't complain about it. He wrapped his free arm around his fiancé, and held him tight.

Castiel frowned. "M sorry..." he mumbled when he caught his breath. "I...I'm not good at this..."

"It's fine Cas, it's fine... It was your first time," Dean murmured soothingly, and started petting Castiel's hair.

"But it was your first time too, and I wanted to make it good for you..." Castiel murmured, obviously beating himself up over this.

"Hey, c'mon, it wasn't bad just because you didn't last long... You did great, Cas."

Castiel frowned, and sighed into Dean's neck. "...But you didn't come," he whispered, almost inaudible.

Dean almost missed it, and took a moment to understand what Castiel had said. "... Well, you still have a hand you can use," he pointed out.

Castiel let out a soft sigh. "Is it my hand you want?" he asked softly. "Or my mouth? Or me?" he wanted to make it up to Dean, help him however. "Use me however you want, I'll do whatever you desire."

"... Right now, I wanna be kissed silly while you jack me off, and then I want to nap. Or grab a shower..." Dean mumbled. "And I want you to know that I don't regret this..."

Castiel nodded slowly, before bracing a hand against Dean's hip as he slowly pulled out, tying off the condom. "I only regret not making it better for you." he murmured softly, before silencing himself against Dean's lips, kissing him as he wrapped his hand around Dean's erection and stroked.

Dean sighed softly into the kiss, and wrapped his arm around Castiel. He kissed back gently, and let himself melt into the feeling of Castiel stroking him. It made him forget the ache in his backside.

Castiel parted his lips, using every trick that he knew Dean enjoyed, twisting his hand as he reached the tip and rubbing his thumb over the slit.

Dean moaned, and it didn't take long until he was panting softly, writhing and bucking his hips up into Castiel's hand, feeling the heat gathering quickly in his abdomen. "Damn, Cas- Fuck- So close..."

Castiel broke their kisses to growl into Dean's ear. "Then come for me."

Dean tensed up, and let out a soft cry as he came all over his stomach and Castiel's hand. Castiel kissed him, stroking him through the orgasm. When Dean had finished, he sat back and licked the come off of his fingers, eyes trained on Dean's as he did so. Dean breathed heavily as he watched Castiel. He licked his own lips slowly, and shifted slightly, clearly liking the show Castiel was putting on.

When he finished cleaning his hand, Castiel dipped his head down and began to clean Dean's stomach, licking the cooling come off.

Dean hummed softly as he continued to watch, his eyes half closed. "You're hot..." he murmured.

Castiel snorted softly at that. It was still, even after all this time with Dean, hard for him to accept that he was attractive, desirable. And right now especially, as he was doing everything in his power to make up to Dean that he was a horrid lover. He wasn't in the right headspace, but he continued to lap up Dean's come until he was done.  
He sat back on his heels then, looking at Dean. "Sleep, and don't try to sit up too quickly, or get out of bed by yourself. You're going to hurt."

Dean didn't know what to make of the snorting, so he let it slide, and focused on Castiel's wonderful tongue. He almost started to protest when the other pulled back, but managed to keep quiet. "... Mmh, yeah... Remember the first time... You almost scared the shit out of me when you cried out like you did."

Castiel nodded, and tenderly brushed some hair from Dean's forehead. "I'm sorry for that," he murmured. "But I don't want you hurting or straining yourself, okay?" he murmured quietly, kissing Dean's forehead sweetly.

"Yeah yeah, I got it..." Dean closed his eyes with a soft sigh. "I'll take a nap. After that, I need a shower," he mumbled.

Castiel nodded. "I'll stay until you sleep, and then try to find our bathroom supplies." he murmured, wrapping his arms around Dean and holding him close.

Dean snuggled close to his fiancé, and yawned quietly. "Okay, Cas... Sounds good," he said softly, and relaxed against Castiel. It didn't take long until he fell asleep, feeling calm and safe in their new bed with Castiel by his side.

Castiel just held Dean for a while, making sure he was truly asleep before slipping out of bed to make the bathroom ready, still insanely guilty for not making Dean's experience a better one. It had been the only virginity he had left, and he gave it to Castiel. And he had taken, had promised Dean that it would feel amazing, but all he did was pleasure himself. His cheeks burned red with guilt, and he ended up in a corner, not panicking, but almost punishing himself. Sam and Dean had made sure that no razors had ended up with his things, and he could almost curse. As Dean stirred, he stood, and schooled his face. He last thing he needed was to worry the other.

Dean moaned softly in discomfort as he rolled onto his side, slowly waking up. The bed was amazing, the best he'd ever slept on, but his ass was achy. He didn't quite know what he felt about it, but it wasn't unbearable. Though, he hadn't sat up yet, and with the memory of their very first time - he wasn’t looking forward to it. He yawned before he blinked his eyes open, then smiled lightly as he saw Castiel. "Hey, tiger..."

"Hello...how are you feeling?" Castiel asked softly, brushing some hair away from Dean's forehead.

"Sore... But that's to be expected," Dean murmured, and looked at Castiel. "How long was I out...?"

"Three hours or so," Castiel murmured. "Sam's back, he found a Chinese restaurant we're going to go get dinner from." He shifted a little closer. "Want to try to sit?"

"Oh. Sounds good. And yeah..." Dean nodded slowly despite himself, and shifted a bit, then braced his hands on the bed and tried to push himself to sit up. Castiel helped Dean sit up slowly, giving him something to lean on. Dean made a face, but kept his mouth shut until he was sitting up.

"You okay? How badly is it hurting?" Castiel asked.

"I'm fine, Cas... You don't need to worry," Dean said, placing a hand on Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel's brow only furrowed at that. "Please, don't try to be tough and macho, I know how much it hurts."

Dean was quiet, then he sighed. "Okay, fine... It hurts, but it's bearable... If I keep still..."

Castiel nodded. "I'm going to check, make sure nothing tore, all right?" he murmured softly.

Dean blushed in embarrassment at that, and nodded awkwardly. "Okay..."

Castiel helped Dean back onto his side before checking the other's entrance. He felt a bolt of guilt at seeing a small tear. "...there is one," he told the other quietly, guilt ripping through his body."

Dean didn't really know what to say. He was embarrassed being in that position, and felt a bit guilty that he couldn't remember if he had been this caring when he'd taken Castiel the first time. "... Ah... Uh... Is there any blood? On the bed, I mean..."

Castiel checked. There were a few spots, but nothing huge. "We...we just need to wash the sheets," he murmured quietly. "Dean, I'm so, so sorry...I...I didn't prep you enough..." Castiel's voice broke.

"Hey now... It's fine. Shit happens." Dean looked at Castiel. "It will heal, so don't worry your head off, okay? I'd rather not have a headless fiancé," he said softly and with a small smile, trying to be funny. 

Castiel bit his lip, his eyes betraying the guilt and self-loathing he had been wallowing in for hours. He didn't reply, but carefully got into bed and buried his face into Dean's back.

Dean sighed softly as he felt Castiel's warmth on his back, and he closed his eyes. "Cas... You do remember our first time, right...?"

"Of course I do, how could I forget?" he mumbled softly into Dean's back.

"Mmh... Just wanted to check... I was feeling pretty horrible too. You remember that too, right? But you said it was okay, that it was good for you... Then you got mad at me, 'cause I still felt bad. I... I'm not going to get mad at you, but... It really is okay, Cas. I don't regret this a single bit."

Castiel let out a soft breath. "I used you, Dean. I didn't make it good for you. I promised you it would feel amazing, the way I'm used to it being with you, but I just took for myself..." he admitted softly.

"But, Cas... I _let_ you... I _wanted_ it. Hell, when I had sex for the very first time, I didn't even last as long as you did today... It was your first time topping. You can't expect to figure everything out on the first try. First times are almost never good."

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's waist, pulling him in closer. "I love you, and I don't deserve you," he murmured quietly.

"I love you too, Cas - and I don't want anyone but you. I just want you."

Castiel kissed the bare skin in front of him. "I'm all yours," he murmured softly. "Always will be."

"Good... Because I'm not letting you go." Dean sighed softly again, relaxing.

"Good," Castiel murmured softly, staying close, spooning against Dean.

Dean felt content like that, and for a while, he let himself just enjoy the closeness of his fiancé.


	2. 35+34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**
> 
>  
> 
> Castiel does his best to take care of Dean, making sure he's comfortable and fed before things heat up between them once more.

After a while, Castiel sighed softly. "Sam and I will go get dinner, you stay here and in bed," he said firmly. He didn't want Dean hurting himself, especially since he was hurt more than he should be.

Dean wanted to whine and protest, but he knew from Castiel's tone that it wasn't up for discussion. "Okay... But I gotta take a piss before you leave..."

Castiel nodded, grateful that their bathroom was connected to their room. He carefully helped Dean stand up, and slowly walked with him to the bathroom.

Dean tried to walk as normally as he could, not wanting to limp and make Castiel more worried. When they reached the bathroom, he tried to be quick about his business and washing his hands, but he still felt like a sloth - moving slowly and carefully.

When Dean had finished, Castiel helped him back to bed. "Stay in bed," he reminded him gently, giving him a sweet kiss. "I'll even get you an extra large lo mien."

Dean nodded slowly and kissed back, then let himself relax on the bed. "Okay... Sounds good. Stay safe while you're out," he murmured.

"Of course," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean again before he led tot go and get dinner with Sam.

When they returned, Sam was laughing hysterically. He poked his head into their bedroom. "Dude, niiiiiice." He laughed.

Castiel followed a moment later, cheeks red. "I had to explain why you were...incapacitated." he murmured.

"... I'm never getting out of bed again," Dean said gruffly and hid himself under the covers, and curled up into a ball. That was not how he wanted to be greeted when they got back.

Castiel slid into bed next to his fiancé, offering him a plate of lo mien and General Tao chicken as a bribe to come out.

Dean peeked out from the covers, and eventually pulled them down. "Smells good," he mumbled.

Castiel's cheeks were still pink. "I am sorry, Sam wouldn't stop asking why you weren't joining us."

Dean carefully pushed himself to sit up so that he could eat, and sighed softly. "How much did you tell him...?" he asked quietly.

"Just that I topped, and you were having trouble walking. He guessed the first part after I told him the second," Castiel replied, murmuring a soft prayer before Dean ate.

Dean hummed softly when the prayer was finished, and he started eating. "Okay... Good."

"You know I'm not comfortable divulging our sex life," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean's temple.

"Yeah... That's true," Dean mumbled between bites of food. "Man, this is good..."

Castiel stole a bite from Dean's fork, humming as he chewed. "This is really good...this place is only four blocks away as well."

"Mmh... Definitely getting food from there when none of us feel like cooking..." Dean took a big bite, and chewed slowly, savoring the taste.

"Agreed," Castiel hummed, relaxing against Dean as the other ate. "Is there anything else you need? Anything I can get you?" he asked softly.

"Not really... I think I'm good. I'll just shower or something tomorrow before the stuff arrives..." Dean murmured.

"Okay," Castiel murmured. "Although you aren't doing any heavy lifting, in your state."

Dean paused at that. "... But- You and Sam can't do it all on your own..."

"Dean," Castiel replied, voice very firm. "I am not risking watching you get any more hurt."

Dean furrowed his brows and huffed, then stared down at his food.

Castiel sighed, and kissed his cheek. "I feel guilty enough, please don't make me feel even more so."

Dean frowned. "But... I'm not saying you're weak, but I am stronger and... If something happens, you're more likely to get injured..."

"And if you strain yourself, you will definitely get injured," Castiel pointed out. "It's just appliances, chairs and a table tomorrow, Dean, nothing huge. Sam and I will be fine."

Dean pouted, clearly not happy about not being allowed to help. "Fine... I'll stay away from lifting anything." 

Castiel leaned in to kiss the pouting lips, nipping on the lower one. Dean made a soft noise, then kissed back gently.

Castiel cupped Dean's cheek in his hand, kissing him until they had to breathe. "I love you," he whispered softly. "And I just want to take care of you."

"I love you too... And all right, if you say so Cas," Dean murmured breathily, and looked into Castiel's eyes.

Castiel looked back into Dean's eyes, and the blue pair were full of love and concern. His fingers came up to gently curl around the side of Dean's neck, thumb stroking his jaw.

Dean smiled softly, and leaned into the touch. "You do take good care of me, Cas... Always have," he said softly.

A soft smile curled the corners of Castiel's lips. "I just want you happy," he murmured softly. "Happy and comfortable and safe."

Dean leaned closer to press their lips together in a sweet, loving kiss. "You make me the happiest man alive," he whispered. 

Castiel smiled into the kiss. "I don't know about that...I may have you beat," he teased softly. "Since you make _me_ the happiest man alive."

Dean chuckled softly and shook his head, then gently poked Castiel's side. "Oi, we're not in a chick-flick."

Castiel laughed softly, squirming away from Dean's fingers. "Doesn't matter," he replied. "It's true." The concern in his eyes had faded, replaced by pure love and adoration.

Dean grinned. "I suppose... But I don't believe you've 'won'," he said, and started tickling Castiel with one hand.

Castiel laughed and squirmed away, before he leaned in to lightly tickle at Dean's sides.

Dean yelped, then laughed and writhed, and moved away from Castiel to escape his hands.

Castiel grinned, and stopped tickling, not wanting Dean to hurt himself. Instead, he climbed back into bed to press their bodies together, kissing Dean with playful nips and teasing sucks on the other's tongue.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's middle, and moaned softly. He nipped and sucked at Castiel's lips in return, whenever he got the chance.

When the kiss broke, Castiel was smiling fondly, lovingly at the other. "Should Sam be required to put his headphones on?" he purred softly into Dean's ear.

Dean licked his lips as he thought about it, then he nodded. "Yeah- Yeah, I think he should," he replied, moving his hands to rest on Castiel's ass.

Castiel arced his back into Dean's hands, and he smiled, kissing Dean again. "Nothing too strenuous," he murmured. "I seem to recall you telling me another fantasy you wanted to try...a 69?" he asked.

Dean smiled and his cheeks turned pink. "You remember almost everything, don't you?" he murmured back, and started to gently squeeze and fondle Castiel's backside. "I'd _really_ like to try it out..."

"It can be an asset and a hindrance, my memory," Castiel replied, moaning softly as Dean fondled his ass the way he loved it. "In this case, definitely an asset. Although I'm not really sure on how to do it..."

"Mmh... Well, basically... It's like. My face by your crotch, and your face by my crotch... It works if we both lay on our sides, or if one of us is on top of the other," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded, body shivering slightly. "Well, you shouldn't move much, so just stay on your back, I'll be over you, after I get these wretched clothes off." he leaned back then to strip off his shirt.

Dean put his hands on Castiel's thighs, and watched as the other started to take his clothes. "Okay, whatever you say," he murmured, eyes roaming over Castiel's torso.

Castiel chuckled. "You can touch, you know," he pointed out as he undid his belt, struggling out of his jeans.

Dean smiled. "I know I can... But sometimes, it's nice to just take a moment to look... And you're _very_ nice to look at." 

Castiel blushed at that. As he pulled his pants and boxers off, the sigil on his chest rippled slightly along with his muscles. He was still thinner than usual, but he wasn't honestly expecting to gain the weight back, and he was all right with being like this. It made his hipbones, that Dean loved to mark, a little more prominent.

Dean chewed on his bottom lip, as he looked at Castiel with big eyes. He reached up, and slowly ran his hands down Castiel's torso to his thighs, feeling the scarred and smooth skin. It still worried him that Castiel hadn't gained all the weight back, but he still thought that his fiancé was gorgeous. So very gorgeous.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean once more before pulling the blankets off of the other, who still was unclothed from their earlier activities. His eyes raked over the muscled torso before his fingers followed.

Dean rubbed his hands over Castiel's thighs and hips, and looked up at him. "Man... I'm so lucky to have you," he murmured.

Castiel smiled. "I still can't believe that someone like you would even glance my way, let alone be mine." he replied. He kissed Dean once more, their erections rubbing together for a moment before Castiel shifted on top of Dean, until he was hovering over his fiancé, his erection only inches away from Dean's mouth.

Dean spread his legs a bit, and licked his lips as he looked at the hard flesh hanging right above him. "Well, you better start to... 'Cause this is real. It's all real." He ran his fingers up and down Castiel's thighs, and lifted his head to give the head of Castiel's erection a teasing lick.

Castiel shuddered and moaned, before he leaned down to lick a broad stripe along the side of Dean's length, purposefully ignoring the head.

Dean whined low in his throat. He gripped Castiel's thighs and coaxed them wider apart, making his hips lower slightly. He nuzzled his nose against Castiel's ballsack, before starting to lick the sensitive skin. 

Castle shuddered and moaned against Dean's erection, sucking gently at the base and moving his way up, ignoring the head once again. His hands were busy bracing himself above Dean, so all he had was his mouth to work with.

"Fucking tease..." Dean said gruffly, before he let one of Castiel's balls into his mouth, sucking on it gently. He ran his hands over Castiel's back and sides, and over the rounded curve of his ass. 

Castiel keened, this sensation totally new. He shuddered and panted, breath hot against Dean's erection

Dean hummed, and pulled off - only to suck the other ball into his mouth, to give it the same treatment. He grabbed Castiel's ass cheeks to squeeze and fondle them again.

"Dean..." Castiel moaned loudly, shuddering, some precome dripping onto Dean's chest. He retaliated by taking the tip into his mouth, sucking hard and rewarded with a mouthful.

Dean stopped sucking on Castiel's balls to let out a loud groan. He moved his hands to Castiel's hips and pushed gently, raising Castiel's lower half, so that he could lick at his fiancé's hard length instead.

Castiel shuddered and continued to suck, lowering his head down further and taking Dean easily to the back of his throat. It amused him sometimes to think of their early blowjobs, when he could barely take half of Dean's length.

Dean moaned and gripped Castiel's hips tighter. He swirled his tongue around the head, teased the slit with the tip of his tongue and then wrapped his lips around the head to suck on it.

Castiel moaned, the vibrations traveling through his mouth. He pulled off completely, until the only contact was the tip of his tongue and Dean's slit.

Dean shuddered and moaned as he let go off Castiel's hips to lightly drag his nails over the outside of Castiel's pale thighs. He took more of the other's length into his mouth and sucked harder.

Castiel shuddered and moaned at the feeling, before he took just the head back into his mouth, teasing him for a little before he started sucking in earnest.

Dean gradually took more and more of Castiel's length into his mouth, taking in as much as he could in this position. He moaned and hummed around the hard flesh, and his tongue pressed against it when he sucked.

Castiel moaned loudly, and sucked harder, tongue dancing around the hard length in his mouth. He wanted desperately for Dean to finish first, for once, although the sensations from Dean's mouth made his head swim.

Dean started moving his hands again, caressing every bit of Castiel's skin that he could reach. He was, like always, planning to have Castiel come first - so he focused more on Castiel's pleasure than his own. He curled one arm around Castiel's leg, to gently press two fingers against the soft skin behind his balls.

Castiel's body spasmed, and he moaned loudly around Dean's erection, breathing heavily through his nose. His balls were drawing up tightly, and he shifted s he could reach back to clamp at the base of his erection, stopping his orgasm from washing over him.

Dean was completely, utterly confused when he noticed what Castiel was doing. It made him freeze up for a moment, as he tried to figure it out. He slowly pulled his mouth off Castiel's erection, and breathed heavily. "Hey... What are you doin'?"

Castiel pulled off as well to speak, breathing just as heavily. "Don't wanna come first..." he mumbled.

"... Huh?" Dean blinked. "... How come?" he asked softly, and gently rubbed Castiel's thigh.

"Cause I always do. Want you to come first this time," he murmured, before he dove back down to take Dean back into his mouth.

Dean moaned and closed his eyes. "Okay- As you wish," he said breathily. He didn't go back to sucking on Castiel's cock, but instead wrapped his fingers loosely around the length to stroke it slowly. 

Castiel hummed softly, Dean's hand not driving him over the edge, but still keeping him very aroused. He took Dean to the back of his throat before he swallowed.

Dean shuddered as he let himself get lost in the pleasure, and felt the familiar heat and pressure gather low in his stomach. "Cas... Shit- Cas," he moaned.

Castiel hummed, and sucked hard as he pulled back to tease the tip with his tongue, before sucking only on the slit.

Dean grabbed onto Castiel's thighs with one hand, the tips of his fingers pressing against the skin, his thighs tensing up as he got closer to the edge. "Ugh, yes- Cas, getting close-"

Castiel took the head into his mouth then, laying his tongue against the head and sucking hard.

"Cas- Ah, fuck!" Dean's whole body tensed up and he groaned as he released into Castiel's mouth.

Castiel swallowed everything Dean gave him, sucking hard and pulling every drop out of the other. When Dean finished, Castiel let his softening cock slip out from his mouth.

Dean was just laying there for a bit, shuddering and breathing heavily as he came down from his orgasm. "Well damn... This is new," he chuckled softly, and readjusted his hold on Castiel's erection.

Castiel chuckled before he let out a soft moan, his head resting against Dean's hips and his back arcing so Dean could still have access to his own erection

Dean parted his lips wide and stuck his tongue out, and rubbed the tip of Castiel's erection against the wet muscle, before wrapping his lips around the tip to suck on it.

Castiel shuddered and moaned loudly. "Dean....Deandeandean..." he panted, close again after having been brought to the edge already.

Dean hummed and sucked harder, and started to stroke the rest of the length with his hand.

Castiel cried out as he came into the other's mouth, body trembling as he struggled to keep his body from collapsing on top of the other.

Dean continued to stroke Castiel through his orgasm, and swallowed everything down. When there was nothing left and Castiel's length softened, he pulled his mouth off and quickly licked the head clean before he let go completely, hands resting on Castiel's thighs.

Castiel slumped to the side, breathing heavily, nuzzling his face against Dean's hip.

Dean smiled tiredly, and reached down to touch Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled, also tired. He got out of bed and found a towel, dampening it and then cleaning them up a little before he crawled next to Dean in bed, cuddling close.

Dean turned onto his side, and wrapped his arms around Castiel to hold him close. "Mmh... That was great," he murmured.

"Indeed it was," Castiel murmured, nuzzling close and falling asleep not much later.


	3. Chuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**
> 
> Dean goes for his interview at the mechanic's shop, but his new boss reminds him incredibly of Castiel He passes the test to show he knows what he's talking about, and gets the job. When he gets home, Dean confesses his thoughts to Castiel, who doesn't really know how to handle it. They decide to change the subject and discuss the rest of the day.

The next two days passed without much incident. Their furniture came, and Sam and Castiel arranged it, not really needing Dean's help. Castiel gave him a satisfactory round of make up sex to make up for him not being able to help.

Finally, it was time for Dean's interview with his potential new boss. Castiel smiled and gave Dean a kiss on his way out.

A man was waiting for Dean at the check in for the mechanics. He was a mousy man, with scruffy brown hair and a scraggly beard. But his eyes were the exact same, piercing blue as Castiel's. "Dean Winchester? I'm Chuck Shurley," he smiled, extending a hand to the younger.

The blue eyes and the last name of the man before him, made Dean feel very uncomfortable. It made the cogs turn in his head, but he pushed it aside, told himself it was just a coincidence. Nothing else.

"Yeah, that's right." Dean took the offered hand into a firm handshake. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Shurley."

"So Dean, I hear you're a specialist in classic cars?" Chuck asked, gesturing for the younger to follow him into the garage portion. 

"Yeah, that's right." Dean curiously glanced around the place as he followed the older man.

"What years and models have you worked on in the past?" he asked, leading Dean towards a 1965 Cadillac that was sitting on a jack.

"Well, other than my own car, a '67 Chevy Impala that I once had to build up from the ground... I worked on a '64 Ford Mustang, '65 Buck Riviera..." Dean listed the cars he'd worked on, but stopped as he saw the car that Chuck had led him to while he was talking. The car wasn’t in the best shape but wow, it could be a real beauty.

Chuck nodded. "Well, here's your interview," he gestured at the car. "You fix her up, you've got a job. Sound good? Something's rattling under the hood, and when I turn her on, there's smoke. Battery is good."

Dean stared at Chuck, then stared at the car. For some reason, he hadn't really been prepared for this. "... Fix the '65-'66 Cadillac. Got it," he said, putting the amulet inside of his t-shirt and made sure he wasn't wearing anything that might get stuck somewhere. "How much time do I get?"

"Two hours," Chuck replied. "All the tools you'll need are over against the wall there. Write on this sheet if any new parts need to be ordered," Chuck indicated how to do so.

"Yeah, got it," Dean mumbled. He turned to the car, and took a deep breath, then got to work.

Luck really was on his side, it seemed. He was able to fairly quickly find the source of the problems, and he fixed whatever he could fix. It was a tricky process, but he managed. When he turned the car on to test it after he'd patched it up wherever he could, there was no smoke and the rattling had been reduced greatly, but they didn't have the one part he needed to get rid of the noise completely. He checked under the hood several times to see if there was anything else he could do, before he decided that he'd done what he could. Now he just hoped that Chuck would be happy with the result.

Chuck smiled, and he looked remarkably like Castiel. "You did a great job, Dean. Welcome to the shop." he extended a hand to Dean in congratulations. "Let's discuss wage. What were you getting paid at Singer's, back in Kansas?"

"Th-thank you, sir..." Dean swallowed thickly as he grabbed the man's hand, and tried not to let go too quickly. "Uhm... About $19.20 per hour."

Chuck nodded. "I'll start you at 20 even, and we'll see how you do from there. Sound good?"

Dean smiled at that. "That sounds great. Thank you, sir."

"Call me Chuck," he replied, waving his hand. "Can you start on Saturday? I know you just moved here and all, I'm sure you need some time to figure things out."

"Sure, Mr. Shu-... Chuck. I can do that. At what time do you want me here?" Dean asked.

"Nine in the morning?" 

"Okay, sounds good." Dean was grinning.

Chuck laughed. "Now get home to your girl," he nodded at Dean's ring. "Tell her the good news."

"Ah, uh, yeah... He'll be really happy," Dean mumbled without thinking, then quickly spoke again as he started to back away, realizing what he just said. "Okay, sir- erh, Chuck, I'll see you Saturday, at nine. Uh- I can find my way out... So. See you." He almost tripped over his own feet on his way out, worried about the man's reaction and wanting to hurry back home. 

Chuck just smiled, amused.

Castiel was at home, making dinner while Sam read, curled up on the couch.

Dean had planned to wait until they were eating dinner, but as soon as he stepped into their apartment, he knew he wouldn't able to keep it to himself until then. "I'm back!"

"How'd it go?" Castiel looked up from his pans. "You're covered in grease, is that a good sign?"

Dean grinned. "I start on Saturday, and I'll be making $20 per hour. Is this awesome, or is it awesome?"

"Dude, nice!" Sam grinned.

Castiel smiled widely. "That's amazing! How did you pull that off?" he asked, setting a lid down to go over and hug Dean, regardless of how dirty he was.

"I pouted and showed off my amazing tits," Dean joked, wrapping his arms around Castiel to return the hug. "Nah, I got to fix a car."

Sam laughed. "I dunno dude, your tits are spectacular," he teased.

Castiel looked up at the other with a wide smile, his eyes crinkling the same way that Chuck's did.

Dean's face turned pale, and for a moment, he forgot to breathe. Either he was going crazy, which he actually preferred to think, or the world really was out to get them.

Castiel's smile faded, replaced by a frown. "Dean, are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked.

"... Uh- I- I think it's the heat. And that I've been working. Yeah. That's it. I'm just... Gonna go take a shower..." Dean pointed towards the bathroom with his thumb.

"Okay..." Castiel was still frowning, but he let go of Dean, going back to the kitchen to wash his hands before he continued to cook.

Dean took a moment to breathe, then went to shower, hoping to scrub off the thoughts and bad feeling he had.

Castiel finished making dinner, homemade macaroni and cheese and salad.

After Dean finished showering, he pulled on a t-shirt and thin, worn out sweats, before going to the kitchen. "Smells lovely in here."

"It's not much, just some Mac and cheese." Castiel replied, setting out plates for all three of them.

"Still. You made it. Anything you make is awesome," Dean murmured as he watched Castiel.

Castiel smiled, and Sam put his book down to join them at the table. Dean took a seat by the table, hoping his mind would stop playing tricks on him.

Castiel prayed and they ate, keeping a careful eye on Dean.

Once they finished and Sam went to his own room, Castiel looked at Dean. "What's wrong? You seem very off, and you keep giving me strange glances."

Dean cringed, and wished that the floor could just swallow him. "Uh... Just... Got a lot on my mind. I..." He sighed heavily. "I just noticed some freaky shit, but it's probably just my mind messing with me..."

Castiel moved a little closer, wrapping his arms around the other in a comforting hug. "Tell me? Maybe it'll help to get it off your chest."

"I... I do want to tell you, but I'm not sure how... You'd react," Dean murmured, and leaned against Castiel.

Castiel frowned slightly. "Dean, that's just making me worry more..." he murmured.

Dean chewed on his bottom lip, and stared at nothing as he thought about this situation, long and hard. "... The boss. My new boss, he... His name is Chuck... Chuck Shu... Shurley."

Castiel froze, his body tensing in Dean's arms. "...I'm sure other people have the same last name." he murmured softly.

"Yeah... But you have the same eyes, Cas. Same shape, blue, they look the same when you smile..." Dean lowered his head. "... I must be going crazy."

Castiel was trembling slightly. "This...I...I don't know what to think," he admitted softly.

"Yeah... Me neither. This is just... Freaky," Dean said and buried his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel nodded, letting out a shaking breath. "He...he might be my father..." Castiel whispered.

Dean held Castiel tightly in his arms. "There's a possibility that he is, yes..."

Castiel took and deep breath, and let it out. "Fuck..." he cursed softly.

"Fuck indeed..." Dean mumbled. "Let's... Let's try to talk about something else."

Castiel nodded. "So, what kind of car did you have to fix?"

"A '65-'66 Cadillac... Wasn't that hard- though they didn't have all the parts needed, so... Yeah. It's a nice car," Dean said, and shifted so that he could look at Castiel.

Castiel nodded, looking up at Dean. "I got some fresh canvases today," he told him. "And I'm going to start on a new painting soon."

Dean smiled. He liked hearing about Castiel's art. "You wanna tell me your ideas, or are you keeping them secret?"

"I was doing a study on eagles, to learn how to do better wings, and I was going to repaint one of my previous angel paintings using the new techniques."

Dean wanted to say that whatever Castiel used to do was fine and that nothing needed to be improved, but he was pretty sure he'd be glared at. "Sounds awesome. Can't wait to see it." 

Castiel smiled happily. "And I ran into someone at the craft store who's going to CalArts, and is an art student too. His name is Balthazar."

"Oh? What was he like?" Dean asked, curious. He really wanted Castiel to make friends, even if said friends would have weird ass names. Not that Castiel’s name was normal but… He was used to it.

"He's British, and he seems extremely pompous, but was very polite. He ran into me in the aisle, and actually apologized," Castiel was smiling.

Dean smiled too. "Good to hear. If he becomes a friend of yours, I'd like to meet him."

"Of course," Castiel smiled, lacing their fingers together on both hands.

Dean hummed and kissed Castiel gently on the lips. "So... It's only been a few days, but... Do you like it here?"

"I love it here," Castiel replied immediately. "What about you?"

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, I love it too... But I'm not so into the idea of wearing shorts when it gets too hot."

"Yeah....short sleeves do not appeal to me in the slightest. I may need to learn how to apply concealer to my arms," Castiel mused slightly.

Dean hummed and pressed their foreheads together. "We'll be that one couple that wears way too much in the summer."

Castiel chuckled softly. "Probably..." he murmured, kissing Dean's lips gently.

"But I don't mind. I like knowing I'm the only one who gets to see you with little to no clothes," Dean murmured, and kissed back.

Castiel blushed slightly. "It's because I trust you," he murmured back.

"Mmh. I love that." Dean smiled warmly, his own cheeks slightly red. "I trust you too."

Castiel smiled back, and kissed Dean again.


	4. Dirty Backseat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**  
>  Dean decides that Castiel needs to learn how to drive. He drives to an empty parking lot at the outskirt of time, and teaches Castiel the basics and lets him drive around. After they're done with that, things get hot as they move to the backseat.
> 
> **KINKS**  
>  Dirty talking, dry humping, sex in a car.

Time passed, and Dean had been working at the garage for a little more than a week, when he went to Castiel and dangled the keys to the Impala in front of his face. "Hey, Cas... I think it's time I taught you how to drive," he said. He'd thought about it since they got California, and thought that it was time for Castiel to learn. He was nervous, but knew that he could just fix up the Impala if something happened.

 

Castiel had been busy mixing paints when he jumped slightly as the keys were jingled right in from of him. "Are you sure?" Castiel asked, looking up at Dean. "I wouldn't want to hurt your Baby."

 

Dean shrugged slightly. "You need to learn at some point, and we don't have that many options, really. If something happens, I can just fix her up again."

 

Castiel nodded, looking nervous as he took the keys from Dean, putting a cover over his palette before standing up. "Shall you drive us to a more deserted location to practice?" he suggested.

 

Dean blinked, and took a moment to think. "... Yeah. I should. I think I know the perfect place."

  
Castiel nodded, giving Dean back the keys before pulling his sleeves back down from where they had been rolled up. Now that Sam didn't flinch at the sight of his mangled forearms, he would expose them more and more at home for comforts sake.

 

Dean smiled, and kissed Castiel's cheek. "You're gonna do just fine, Cas. Pretty sure you'll get the hang of it quickly." He put his hands into his pockets. "Do whatever you have to do, and then we'll get going."

 

Castiel nodded, and grabbed his anxiety pills to shove into his pocket (just in case) before he joined Dean and they went down to the Impala. As Dean drove, he kept a watchful eye on what Dean did.

 

Dean drove to the place he'd thought of, a big parking lot which looked like it was in the middle of nowhere with how empty it was, but they weren't too far out of town and the space was connected to an empty building. When he stopped the Impala, he got out and switched places with Castiel.

 

Castiel took a deep breath as he slid behind the wheel, and turned the key, jumping slightly as the Impala roared to life. "I... What now?" he asked, looking at Dean.

 

Dean smiled, and put a gentle hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Okay, let me tell you about a few things first," he started, then went on to explain the basics, doing his best to keep it simple and point at which parts he was talking about. When he was done and had adjusted the rearview mirror, he patted Castiel on the arm. "All right, Cas. Press the gas pedal, but not too hard."

 

Castiel hesitantly pressed down on the pedal, and made a shocked noise when the car jumped forwards. He immediately stomped on the brake, breathing hard.

 

Dean was a bit surprised when Castiel suddenly stepped on the brake. "Oh- hey, Cas, you okay?" he asked when he noticed Castiel's breathing.

 

Castiel nodded. "Sorry, surprised me..." he murmured, gently pushing the gas pedal again, and moving forwards.

 

"No, no, it's fine... Go as slow as you need to, okay?" Dean gently squeezed Castiel's shoulder. "You're doing great."

 

Castiel nodded, and did some slow laps around the lot.

 

Dean was leaned back in his seat, a smile on his face. "How does it feel?"

 

"Very, very strange. I also feel the need to be extraordinarily careful, for fear of hurting your car," Castiel replied, his knuckles white as he gripped the wheel.

 

"You're doing awesome though, Cas. You don't need to worry. If Baby gets a scratch, I can patch her up. But what about we take a break, huh?"

 

Castiel nodded, and stopped the car before putting her in park, slumping back into the seat. Dean put his arm on the back of the seat, and carded his fingers through Castiel's hair.

 

Castiel leaned into the touch. "How is this enjoyable?" he asked, his muscles slowly relaxing under Dean's touch.

 

"It gets easier with time, I promise. You'll get more used to it, and you'll relax more... Then it'll be like a walk in the park." Dean shifted closer to give Castiel a kiss.

 

Castiel returned the kiss, and let out a shaking breath. "Okay, let's go again."

 

They were out there for hours, Castiel slowly getting more confident behind the wheel.

 

Eventually, Dean decided to call it a day, and he was very proud of Castiel and how far he'd come in just a couple of hours. When the car was parked, he pulled Castiel close and kissed him silly.

 

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, kissing back, and when the kiss broke, he asked "What was that for?" in an out-of-breath voice. His lips were slightly swollen.

 

"Mmh, I'm proud of you," Dean murmured breathily, and kissed at Castiel's cheek and jaw instead.

 

Castiel hummed softly, exposing his neck for the other. "I didn't do much..." he murmured.

 

"It was your first time driving, and you did great..." Dean kissed at Castiel's neck.

 

Castiel let out a soft moan as Dean found one of his more sensitive spots, his grip on the back of Dean's shirt tightening slightly.

 

Dean latched onto the spot and sucked a mark into it with a pleased noise. When he pulled off, he dragged his tongue over the mark, then pressed his lips to Castiel's ear. "Cas," he purred softly.

 

Castiel let out a soft whimper, a bolt of arousal shooting through him at Dean's voice, saying his name.

 

Dean chuckled softly, and put a gentle hand on Castiel's knee. "My gorgeous fiancé..."

 

Castiel blushed at that. "'M not gorgeous," he murmured back, his head swimming with Dean's lips and touches and scent.

 

"You are... You're so very gorgeous - and you're mine." Dean nibbled on the lobe of Castiel's ear, and breathed on it when he let go. He then carefully moved to straddle Castiel's lap, something he hadn't done before.

 

Castiel's breath hitched, and he looked up at Dean, cheeks flushed. "You're in a mood today, aren't you?" he teased, leaning up to kiss Dean again.

 

Dean grinned, and kissed back with a soft hum. "Maybe I am... You don't seem to have any problems with it, though."

 

"I would be lying if I said I did," Castiel replied, nipping on Dean's lower lip.

 

Dean moaned softly and touched the sides of Castiel's face, then slowly ran his hands down his neck, over his shoulders and then down his arms.

 

Castiel had his hands on Dean's hips. "Shall we move to the backseat?" he suggested softly.

 

Dean nodded. "Yeah... Sounds like a good idea," he murmured, and carefully got off Castiel's lap. Castiel got out of the car and slid into the backseat, laying down and stretching as much as he could, wiggling his hips a little more than necessary. Dean chuckled softly as he got out and saw his fiancé, then got into the backseat and closed the door. He hovered on all four above Castiel, and looked him up and down.

 

Castiel gave Dean a soft smile. "That look on your face says you want to do all numbers of things to me...so do them," he purred the last part.

 

Dean returned the smile, and leaned down to kiss Castiel on the lips. "I can't really decide what I want to do with you... Part of me wants to see if I can make you come without taking your pants off... Talk dirty to you until you're hot and bothered and squirming, then grind our hips together... Or maybe rub my ass against you..." He kissed Castiel in between the sentences. "The other part of me wants to suck your cock and finger you until you come, screaming my name..."

 

Castiel whimpered softly as Dean talked, simultaneously loving and hating how turned on the dirty talk and whispered promises made him. "I bet... I bet you can make me come almost entirely untouched," he breathed back.

 

Dean was quiet, and he slowly moved to press his lips against Castiel's ear again. "Is that an invitation to try it? To try and see if I can make a horny mess of you, just by using my voice?"

 

Castiel shivered, and nodded his consent, too far gone already to talk.

 

Dean licked his lips as he lifted his head, wanting to see Castiel's face. "I wish you could see yourself... Flushed and already hot under the collar, and I've just started... You're so damn hot, Cas."

 

Castiel didn't protest, instead leaning up to kiss Dean's lips, sweetly, but not holding it for long, wanting to hear what Dean would say.

 

Dean kissed back gently, then looked down at him. "Gosh, your lips, Cas... So damn pretty. So red and swollen. I love kissing them... Love biting at them. You know what else I love...? I love it when they're wrapped around my cock. Stretched wide and slick with spit. Some day, Cas, if you allow me... I might just fuck your mouth again, just like I did at school, by the bleachers... Remember that? Remember how you almost came in your pants..."

 

Castiel whimpered, and nodded. Yes, he remembered that day very well, when he told Dean to use him, and it had been so satisfying. His cheeks were red, his lips parted as he breathed, already hard and straining against his jeans.

 

"I would be much more confident if we did it again... You wouldn't even have to move, Cas. You would just have to sit there, like a good boy, while I slowly thrust my hard cock into your mouth. I'd pull out a few times, to smear precome and saliva all over your lips, before pushing back inside. And I won't let you touch yourself, either. No. If you even tried, I'd grab your hair..." Dean gently grabbed some of Castiel's hair to tug on it. "And remind you that you'll only get my cock if you're good," he growled softly. He'd never hurt Castiel, never, but seeing his fiancé like this made his cock twitch and his breath heavy.

 

Castiel whimpered, his eyes closed. "... Do it." he whispered. "Use me, please..."

 

Dean swallowed, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't tempted. "Not today, hon... But if you're a good boy, I'll give it to you, Friday night... I'll have you undress completely, then make you sit on the edge of the bed. I'll keep my clothes on, and I'll stand right in front of you... And I'll have you lick and suck my cock until it's hard and leaking."

 

Castiel whimpered, trembling slightly. "I'll do anything," he whispered. "I want to taste you, please...I'll be good, so good..."

 

Dean carefully moved to straddle Castiel's hips. "If you're good to me today, Cas... Friday night will be yours. I'll pet your hair and tell you that you're so, so good. So good to me. And I would paint your lips with precome-" He stroked his hand over Castiel's hair, then licked the pad of his thumb, before pressing and dragging it across Castiel's lips. "- Then I would push inside..." He carefully pushed his thumb between Castiel's lips and into his mouth.

 

Castiel moaned, and sucked gently on the pad of Dean's thumb, his tongue lapping the taste of the other's saliva off of it.

 

Dean smiled and watched with lust filled eyes. "Such a good boy..." he purred. "You'd suck my cock just like that, wouldn't you? But if I told you to stop sucking and licking, you will stop. And you wouldn't do anything but moan at the feeling of my cock dragging against the insides of your mouth. You'd just take it, so eager to please, and so eager for my come."

 

Castiel moaned again, body trembling, and his hips jerking up against Dean's, desperate for some sort of friction. "Only yours... Only you, no one else," he whimpered, blue eyes black with want. He flicked the tip of his tongue against the pad of Dean's thumb.

 

"Yeah, you're mine... And only _mine_ ," Dean said, and rolled his hips once. "You're my Castiel. My fiancé. My cumslut. Mine," he growled, and slipped his thumb out, only to push it back inside. "Only my mouth will leave marks on your neck - on your body. Only I will get to use your mouth, and only my hands will spread your legs. You're mine, and I'm yours."

 

Castiel whimpered, and keened when Dean's hips dragged so deliciously against his own. He was trembling, so close already, and he sucked and nipped at the pad of Dean's thumb, sucking it like it was his lover's cock. 

 

Dean swallowed, and started grinding his hips down against Castiel's. "Yeah, yeah... That's it, Cas. Suck it just like that. Imagine the noises I would make, Cas. To have you suck my cock like that... I would moan, maybe even whimper, just like you do now." He moved to breathe into Castiel's ear. "I know you love it when I'm noisy... Love it when I..." he stopped talking so that he could moan, lips brushing against the skin of his fiancé's ear. "... Moan your name."

 

Castiel was done, shuddering hard as he came into his pants, letting out a loud cry and shaking, falling apart against Dean.

 

Dean's breath hitched, and he trembled. His erection was throbbing from how arousing it was, to see Castiel come undone like this - almost untouched. "Fuck, Cas... Such a good boy. So hot. God. Cas. So good," he whispered, pulling his thumb out of Castiel's mouth to caress his face.

 

Castiel slumped back against the seat when he finished, going completely limp, having blacked out from the intensity of the orgasm. He came to a few moments later, breathing hard.

 

Dean let out relieved sigh when Castiel came to. "Shit, Cas... You okay?" he murmured, looking worried. He had freaked out a bit when Castiel suddenly didn't respond to anything.

 

"I'm okay... It was just intense," he murmured, kissing Dean. "I've never come so hard in my life before."

 

Dean kissed back gently. "I'm happy it was good for you," he said softly.

 

Castiel nodded, and kissed Dean again. "How do you need me to help you?" he asked, hands on Dean's hips.

 

"... To be honest, I have no clue. Just... Anything is good. But not your mouth. Want to save it for Friday," Dean mumbled.

 

Castiel nodded, and smirked wickedly as he grabbed Dean's ass and pressed their hips together, grinding against his fiancé. If he had to suffer through come-filled boxers, then so would Dean.

 

Dean groaned and couldn't do much but rest his forehead on the leather seat, beside Castiel's head. "Ugh, fuck..."

 

Castiel started breathing heavily into Dean's ear, letting out soft whimpers as his sensitive cock was stimulated. "Come for me Dean, nice and pretty," he growled out. "Let me feel your entire body writhe with pleasure against mine."

 

Dean shuddered, and let out a choked noise. "P-pretty?" he stammered, not having expected to hear that. He ground his hips down harder, and bit his lip at the feeling. He could feel his cock leaking, and knew it wouldn't take much to make him come. Not when Castiel breathed, whimpered and growled like that.

 

"Yes, pretty. With your perfect lips and big, green eyes that tell everyone how special they are, the freckles across your cheeks and your perfect, tender hands," Castiel breathed into his ear. "Fall apart, let me see the face I'm only allowed to see now."

 

Dean's fingers were digging into the seat as he listened to every word, and his hips stuttered as his body tensed up. He came with a high pitched whine, continued to grind - although a bit awkward and clumsy - against Castiel throughout his orgasm, and his cheeks burned from embarrassment.

 

Castiel held Dean close, running his fingers through Dean's hair. "You're beautiful," he whispered into Dean's ear, aware of how both of their jeans were now sticky with come.

 

Dean buried his face into Castiel's neck, hiding his red face from the other. " _You_ 're beautiful..." he mumbled.

 

Castiel chuckled softly, and just laid there for a while, holding Dean close. "We should get back... I still need to make dinner," he finally said.  


"I don't feel like moving..." Dean protested, but it was weak, and a moment later he was slowly pulling away and getting out. "What have you planned to make...?"

 

"Burgers, with cheese and jalapeño stuffed on the inside," Castiel replied, making a face as he got out, walking uncomfortable. "With homemade fries." 

 

Dean smirked at Castiel's appearance, and moved to the driver's seat, doing his best to ignore the feeling of his own sticky underwear. "Sounds awesome. I believe we'll have to hand over the 'best burgers' title to you," he said with a grin.

 

Castiel snorted. "As if I could ever have a hope of beating yours," he teased, leaning against Dean happily.

 

Dean huffed softly, and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "Dude. You're like, masterchef worthy. I can't cook half as well as you do," he stated, and started the car.

 

Castiel huffed in return. "Doesn't mean that your burgers don't put mine to shame," he replied, content to cuddle against Dean for the ride back to their apartment.

 

 

 

When they got home, Sam was in the living room, and he groaned. "Really guys?" he gestured at their crotches. "You couldn't even bother changing before you walked in?"

 

"What? It's not like we keep extra pants in the car," Dean said with a grin. "And we just wanted to see your lovely little face as soon as possible - to make sure you were still alive."

 

"People say that walking in on your parents having sex is the worst. I beg to differ," Sam grumbled, going off to his room.

 

Castiel's cheeks were red, and he went to their room to change quickly. Dean had wanted to point out that it might be because they didn't have parents, but he kept quiet and went with Castiel, to change pants and underwear himself.

 

Castiel gave Dean a quick kiss before going off to make dinner.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**
> 
> Castiel receives a call from the garage, telling him that Dean slipped at work and is now in the hospital with stitches and a head wound. Castiel and Sam get to the hospital as quickly as they can, waiting for Dean to come out from being treated before joining him. Dean is not happy about his situation, first hating being in the hospital and then hating that he's inconveniencing his family. 
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Hospitals

A few weeks passed without event, Castiel busy trying to hunt down a place he could get a part time job at, when his cell phone rang. It was from Dean's workplace, and he picked it up, brow furrowed slightly. If Dean needed him, he would have just texted or called him from his cell phone. "Hello, Castiel Novak speaking."

"Hello. This is Daniel Elkins," a man greeted from the other line. "I'm a co-worker to Dean Winchester. Are you his fiancé?" 

Castiel felt his stomach drop. "Yes, I am...is everything all right?" he asked.

The man cleared his throat. "Well... I'm sorry to say this, but there's been an accident. Don't worry, he's alive, but has been shipped off to the hospital."

Castiel cursed softly. "Which hospital? What happened?" he asked, navigating off of the website he had been on to look up a cab site, calling for one immediately. His hands were shaking, and he called for Sam, who came into the room looking confused.

Daniel went on to tell Castiel about how something had gone wrong with a car and it had been leaking fluids all over the place and unfortunately, no one had noticed until Dean had slipped in it - he didn't know a lot more than that because someone else had been there with him. He then said which hospital Dean had been taken to, and to look for Ed Brewer, one of their co-workers who would be at the hospital with Dean.

Castiel thanked Daniel profusely before hanging up, looking at Sam. "Dean was in an accident at work, he slipped on some fluids and is at the hospital. I called for a cab." Castiel was shaking.

Sam swallowed and nodded, going to the kitchen and finding Castiel's medication and giving it to him.

When the cab arrived, Castiel nearly threw himself in before it had even stopped, and they drove to the hospital Castiel directed the driver to.

Sam and Castiel entered the front doors of the ER, the older teen looking around for Ed Brewer. He was still frantic, although not nearly as panicked as he had been.

There was a guy standing against a wall, talking on his phone. He was wearing working clothes, and a cap with the garage's logo on it. There was dried blood on his pants. "No, I... No, I haven't seen him. They're probably not done-... Yeah, yeah... I'm still waiting for the-..." The man noticed Castiel looking at him, and said a quick bye, before hanging up. "... Castiel Novak?" he asked, unsure.

Castiel nodded, his face paling at the sight of the blood. "Yes...what happened?" he asked, his voice cracking slightly. Sam put his arm around Castiel's shoulders, offering comfort. 

"It happened so fast... We were carrying tools and stuff, and all of a sudden he's flailing, and then he just fell - dropping everything everywhere..." Ed Brewer shifted awkwardly on his feet. "Winchester hit his head, and I think someone said it looked like he might've twisted his ankle or something. I think he landed on something, too, cause he got a nasty cut. Unlucky guy, really. He actually kicked me when I mentioned going to the hospital, too. I got a bruise the size of Texas from it."

Sam chuckled. "That's Dean for you." he murmured.

Castiel nodded. "Thank you so much for bringing him here, really." he murmured. "Is he out? Can we see him?"

Ed shook his head. "It's nothing. And I haven't seen him since they took him in. Bet he'll be out soon, though." He shrugged. "But I need to head back, now that you two are here..."

Castiel nodded, and extended his hand for a handshake. "Thank you so much, Mr. Brewer. For everything."

Ed shook Castiel's hand. "It's nothing. Take care of Winchester, he's a good guy." He gave Sam and Castiel a nod before heading off.

"I will," Castiel promised softly, and he and Sam sat in the uncomfortable waiting room chairs, waiting for news. They started playing chess on Sam's phone to pass the time until a doctor called out their name.

A doctor eventually came by, and called out. "Castiel Novak?"

Castiel's head shot up immediately. "Right here," he said, standing quickly. "Is everything all right?"

"He'll recover just fine. He banged his head pretty hard, but the concussion doesn't look too bad. He also sprained his ankle, and got some stitches. There are no infections, just a lot of pain from what we can see."

Castiel nodded. "May we see him?" he asked.

"Yes, of course. I warn you though... He's a bit moody." The doctor motioned for them to follow, and he took them to where Dean was.

Castiel couldn't help but crack a soft smile. "I know he is," he replied.

When they were let not Dean's room, he immediately moved to carefully hug his fiancé, holding him close. "Dean..." he whispered the other's name.

Dean lifted one arm to hug Castiel in return. He was stiff, and tried not to move too much. "Hey Cas, hey Sammy..."

"Thank God you're okay...I was expecting so much worse," Castiel murmured, his head buried into Dean's shoulder.

Sam gave Dean a smile. "Doc said you were moody, and we just laughed. Of course you are. How're you feeling?"

Dean made a face. "My head hurts, my foot feels like it's gonna fall off, and these stitches are uncomfortable... I wanna go home. I wanna sleep."

"You're in here another hour for observation before we can take you home," Castiel murmured, pulling back to gently run his fingers through Dean's hair. "And don't worry about the bill, workers comp is covering everything."

Dean closed his eyes and whined. "Another hour...? That sucks. I wanna go now... Don't wanna be here, Cas."

"I know you don't, love." Castiel murmured, kissing his forehead gently. "But it'll be fine. Sam and I will be here the entire time."

Dean sighed and opened his eyes again. "It still fucking sucks," he said quietly, leaning towards Castiel and wincing as it pulled on the stitches in his side.

"I know. But we'll stop by Biggersons and get you a turducken sandwich on the way home, how does that sound?" Castiel replied, half sitting on the hospital bed while Sam pulled up a chair for himself.

"... You're the best," Dean mumbled, and managed to relax a bit. "Sounds great... And what have you two been up to while I was working...?"

"I know," Castiel smiled softly, cradling Dean's head against his side, running his hands through the sandy hair. "And I was just filling out applications to get a part-time job."

"I was just reading, skyped with Jess for a bit." Sam told Dean.

Dean closed his eyes, enjoying the attention. "Mhmm... Hopefully you'll get a job soon... How's Jess doing?"

"She's doing great," Sam replied. "God, I miss her though. And Jo says hi, she was at the Roadhouse when I called."

Dean mumbled something that sounded vaguely like 'I'm sorry', before speaking up. "I'll send Jo a text later."

Sam frowned slightly. "Hey hey hey, no apologizing." he said firmly. "We knew what we were getting into."

Castiel just continued to hold Dean close, not wanting t move far away at all. He was feeling calm because of his anxiety meds, sure, but that didn't mean he still didn't worry.

Dean made a face at Sam's words, and buried his face into Castiel's side. He just wanted to go home.

The hour passed by relatively quickly, and Castiel served as a crutch for Dean (who had refused crutches) as they got into the Impala, which another one of Dean's coworkers had brought by. Castiel slid with Dean into the backseat while Sam took the drivers seat.

Dean's face was pale as he tried to make himself comfortable in the Impala, though he had finally stopped whining, and let Sam and Castiel take care of getting them back home without any complaints.

Castiel held Dean close on the drive back, even when Sam went into Biggersons to retrieve Dean the promised sandwich. "I'm going to take care of you, all right?" he murmured softly.

"Okay, Cas..." Dean mumbled, his eyes lowered. He felt embarrassed about his current state.

Castiel picked up on it immediately. "Dean, there's nothing to be ashamed about." he murmured. "You've been hurt, and you've taken care of me every time I've been hurt, physically or mentally. It's high time I returned the favor."

Dean cringed. It was a blessing and an inconvenience that Castiel could read him so well at times. "I know, but... I fucking slipped, Cas... _Slipped_ , of all things..."

"It happens to the best of us," Castiel murmured. "Besides, would you rather it have been Ed? Who looks like he's in his early fifties?" he kissed Dean's temple. "It's no inconvenience to me to help you."

"... I... I guess not," Dean said quietly, and grimaced as he thought of how he'd kicked his co-worker. He hadn’t really meant to, but the mention of going to the hospital had him panicking. "Are you sure, Cas?"

Castiel kissed the top of Dean's chest, lacing their fingers together. "I'd do anything for you, Dean Winchester. I would give up a chance of heaven if it meant saving you," he murmured quietly.

Dean blinked slowly as he took in Castiel's words. "... Okay, Mr Poet. Whatever you say." He reached up to put a gentle hand on the top of Castiel's head. "I believe you."

Castiel leaned into the touch, and kissed the top of Dean's head sweetly.

Sam returned a minute later, handing Dean a greasy bag.

Dean smiled at Sam as he accepted the bag. "Thanks, Sammy."

"Course," Sam gave them a smile as he got back into the driver's seat and started driving them home.

Dean unwrapped his sandwich and slowly ate at it during the ride, his face regaining a bit of color.

Castiel relaxed as Dean's face got some color back into it, and helped him up the stairs to their apartment, helping him into bed. "Do you need anything?"'he asked.

Dean took a moment to get comfortable in their bed, and shook his head. "Not that I can think of, no..."

Castiel nodded, and kissed him gently. "I'll wake you up in four hours to check on you, all right?" he murmured. "Just shout if you need anything."

Dean nodded slowly and closed his eyes. "Yeah... Thanks, Cas," he replied quietly, and fell asleep moments later.

Castiel watched Dean sleep for a good hour before he made his way out of the room to continue filling out applications. Once four hours had passed, Castiel gently shook Dean's shoulder. "Dean?"

Dean stirred when Castiel shook his shoulder, but it took a while before he was awake and opened his eyes. "Mmh... Cas?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Hey," Castiel's voice was gentle. "You can go back to sleep soon, I promise, we just have to change your bandages, okay?"

Dean frowned, but nodded slowly. "Okay," he replied quietly, and slowly sat up while trying not to wince.

Castiel carefully helped Dean pull his shirt off before removing and replacing the bandages on his side, his fingers gentle and tender wherever they touched.

Dean bit into his lip, and was tense the whole time. The stitches started at his hip, and went up his side, and he hated it. He let out a long sigh as Castiel finished changing the bandages.

Castiel winced slightly at how long the wound was, but when he finished, he placed a tender kiss on top of the bandages. "Do you need anything?" he asked softly.

"Gotta use the bathroom... Then I don't know... More sleep, maybe?" Dean mumbled, and looked at Castiel.

Castiel nodded, and carefully helped Dean out of bed and into the bathroom, sitting him down on the toilet before he left, standing right outside the door to let Dean do his business.

Dean was so embarrassed his face turned red, and when he was done, he almost decided not to say anything. Though he forced himself to tell Castiel that he had finished relieving himself, and then let Castiel help him back to bed.

Castiel tucked Dean back into bed. "There is nothing to be ashamed of, Dean," he murmured. "It's not like I've never seen you naked before."

"It's not that..." Dean grumbled, and buried himself under the covers, clearly not wanting to talk about it.

Castiel frowned slightly, and settled next to Dean in bed. "Please talk to me?" he asked softly, running his fingers through Dean's hair.

Instead of shaking his head, Dean shut his eyes tight. "It's nothing... There's nothing to worry about."

Castiel's frown deepened, but he didn't push. Instead, he got up off of of bed and took his own pillow. "I'll be in the living room if you need me," he murmured, and went to get comfortable on the couch, where he would be sleeping that night, not wanting his body to possibly harm Dean during the night.

"What..." Dean had wanted to asked why Castiel was bringing a pillow with him, but his fiancé had already left their room, so he closed his mouth. He turned to stare at the ceiling, and pulled the covers up to his nose, then tried to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaand we're back! Thank you so much for all the birthday wishes guys, I really appreciate every single one of you! I had a great time celebrating becoming legal, but now I'm back and we're back to our regularly scheduled updates!
> 
> I am sorry we came back with a sad chapter, but things will start looking up soon!
> 
> Thanks for sticking with us, we hope you enjoy the new chapter!
> 
> ~Cinder


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Cinder here. I've had a very mentally exhausting day and am doing my best to get the fics back on schedule, but I just have no energy to write a summary or think of a clever chapter title right now. Maybe I'll be able to take care of it tomorrow, but for right now, have the possible trigger warnings and enjoy the chapter.  
> I love all of you guys and I appreciate your support and patience as I try to get my crap together. 
> 
> **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Insomnia brought on by stress, mild anxiety attack provoked by forgetting medication

Castiel only got an hour's worth of sleep that night, and full of nervous energy, made a large breakfast for all of them. He took Dean his plate when it was ready, peeking his head into their bedroom, dark circles under his eyes.

Dean was awake when Castiel came to their room. He was playing with his phone, and he was tired, but it was more from the pain than a lack of sleep. When he noticed Castiel, he blinked in surprise. "Oh jeeze... You look like shit, Cas." 

"I'm fine," Castiel lied easily. "Here, I made you breakfast, how are you feeling?" he asked softly.

Dean frowned. "Did you even sleep last night? And I'm fine. Just... Hurting."

"I slept," Castiel replied, although he didn't say how long he had slept for. "I'll get you your painkillers."

"Okay..." Dean nodded slowly and looked at Castiel, then looked down at the floor. "... This bed is made for two, not one," he mumbled.

"I know," Castiel replied softly. "I just didn't want to accidentally hurt you in my sleep."

Dean looked up. "... But you won't hurt me, Cas."

"You have stitches at least a foot up your side, and a badly sprained ankle. You know I cuddle up to you in our sleep. I would have."

Dean clenched his jaws, and looked down. His side and ankle was hurting, the bed felt too big without Castiel in it, and he felt like a big ass baby. He hated this. "Fine. Whatever."

Castiel bit his lip, and looked away. He felt like shit, for clearly making Dean more upset, and his lack of sleep. He gave Dean his painkillers and a glass of water. "I'm sorry..." he whispered softly.

Dean stared at the items in his hand, then sighed. "It's fine... I get it," he mumbled before he downed the painkillers with the help of the water. He wiped his mouth with the back of his mouth, and handed the glass back. "Thanks, Cas." 

Castiel bit his lip, a single tear running down his cheek. "Call if you need me," he murmured softly. "You should sleep after you eat..."

"Okay." Dean nodded slowly. "... You should try to sleep too," he mumbled, knowing Castiel couldn’t have slept for long enough.

"I'll try," he replied softly, before leaving the room, trying to figure out why he was having so much trouble functioning, until he remembered that he hadn't taken his medication the previous night. He ended up bursting into tears on the couch, head buried in his hands as he shook, trying to keep quiet so Sam and Dean couldn't hear him.

Dean mostly poked and picked at the food, but forced himself to eat at least half of it. Castiel had cooked it for him, and it would be disrespectful to not eat it. He put the food aside after he was done, and then buried himself under the covers, and tried to go back to sleep, unaware of Castiel's state.

After about half an hour, Castiel had calmed down at least a little, although his eyes were now red-rimmed in addition to having dark bags. He poked his head into the bedroom quietly, checking to see if Dean was awake or not.

Dean was fast asleep, the covers wrapped tightly around himself.

Castiel carefully made his way over into bed, climbing on top of the covers and laying down, watching Dean for a while before he drifted off into a light, uneasy doze.

Dean woke up after a while. He yawned and stretched - extremely carefully - then relaxed again. It was quiet in the apartment, and if Castiel was sleeping, he didn't want to wake him up. Carefully, he pushed the covers off and sat up slowly. He didn't actually notice Castiel until he felt the bed shift slightly, and he jumped as he turned and saw his fiancé on the bed. He made a pained noise, and pressed a hand against his side.

Castiel's eyes flew open, and he sat up immediately. "Dean, are you okay?" he asked, putting his hands on the other's shoulders.

"Just peachy," Dean said gruffly, and ran his free hand through his hair. "No need to worry. Doesn't feel like I pulled anything."

Castiel nodded, and let Dean go. "I just wanted to apologize… I didn't take my meds last night, so I haven't been thinking very clearly, and I know I made you upset with me..."

Dean looked at Castiel. "... It's fine, really. I do get it, that... Not wanting to the other to hurt, thing. You don't need to apologize, Cas."

"I do, because I made you feel like crap, when I'm supposed to be making you feel better." He opened his arms for a hug, unsure if Dean would take it or not.

Dean's face softened, and he just looked for a moment, before he carefully scooted closer to return the hug and bury his face in Castiel's neck.

Castiel held Dean as tightly as he dared to, letting out a soft sob. "I'm sorry I'm such a shitty fiancé..." he whispered.

"No, you're not... Please don't say that," Dean mumbled, tightening his arms around Castiel.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's hair. "It's true, though...I try so hard, and I just can't give you what you deserve."

Dean huffed. "Don't make me pinch you... I need you. You do your best. I might get mad or upset and act shitty, but I still love you, Cas..."

Castiel swallowed and nodded slowly, just holding Dean close as he cried quietly into his hair. "I'm sorry...." he whispered. "I can't stop..."

"Ssh, it's fine, it's fine..." Dean murmured, and rubbed his hand over Castiel's back. 

Castiel finally calmed down after a while, and just held Dean close. "Is there anything I can do for you?" he asked softly. "Anything at all."

"I need to shower or something..." Dean pressed a chaste kiss to Castiel's neck. "I'm dirty..."

Castiel nodded. "I'll get the shower ready, and I'll join you, if that's okay...?" he asked softly.

"I don’t mind at all," Dean mumbled while nuzzling Castiel's neck, then slowly let go of him.

Castiel smiled softly, and rubbed at his eyes before he went to start the shower, returning to help Dean get undressed and change his bandages before helping him to the shower, supporting him.

Dean let Castiel help him without protesting. It was nice having someone to lean on, now that he realized he wasn’t going to be moving very well on his own. He let out a soft sigh as he got into the shower, the water warm and soothing against his skin.

Castiel smiled softly as Dean's face relaxed, and kissed his forehead sweetly before grabbing a cloth and lathering it with soap, gently and tenderly washing Dean's torso.

Dean kept still as he let himself be washed by his fiancé. It felt good to be this close to Castiel, and even if he hated being so immobile because of his injury, it was nice to be taken care of some times.

Castiel handed over the washcloth to Dean, so Dean could take a turn, smiling softly. He leaned forwards and caught Dean's lips in a gentle kiss.

Dean smiled, and kissed back gently as he started to wash Castiel's torso with gentle hands.

Castiel smiled back, shivering slightly as the washcloth dragged over his nipples, but kept control of himself. He gently cradled Dean's face in his palms, stroking his thumbs over the stubbled cheeks. "I love you, Dean Winchester." he whispered.

Dean smiled a bit wider, and rested his hands on Castiel's waist after he'd finished washing him. "And I love you, Castiel Novak," he murmured back.

Castiel smiled. "I honestly can't wait to become Castiel Winchester," he murmured, before kissing Dean happily.

"You basically already are, though... Not officially, but to me you are," Dean murmured, and kissed back.

Castiel smiled, and when the kiss broke, murmured. "I feel like I already am as well." he whispered. "We should start trying to plan and hammer things out, for the wedding. Not today, but sometime soon."

Dean ran his hands slowly up and down Castiel's sides. "Yeah... Starting early and taking things one at a time, so we don't end up screaming each other's heads off 'cause we only got a month for everything," he murmured.

Castiel nodded, and wrapped his arms around Dean to hold him close. "We also need to book a church early, since summer weddings are a big thing."

"Agreed..." Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's temple. "... Can I ask how... How you imagine what our wedding should look like?"

Castiel hummed in thought. "I kind of picture a nice little church, with our friends and family there. And you and I, with you in black and me in white."

"So you _do_ have a preference for who should be wearing white..." Dean smiled slightly.

Castiel blushed. "I didn't want to force you not to wear it if you wanted to..."

Dean shrugged slightly. "I'm really just hoping to get a suit I'm comfortable in... Not really picky about colors."

Castiel nodded. "Then...I would like to wear white, if that's okay with you."

"Sure. As long as you're happy, then so am I," Dean murmured.

Castiel smiled. "What about you? How do you imagine our wedding?"

Dean chewed on his lips, looking thoughtful. "... I don't know, really." 

"Cmon, you've got to have something you want." he murmured.

Dean's cheeks turned pink and his eyes flickering to the side. "I dunno..." 

"Dean, I'm not going to judge. This is your wedding too, I want it to be what we both want."

"Uhm... I. Well. I've been thinking more about our honeymoon, to be honest..."

Castiel nodded. "What have you been thinking?" he asked softly.

"... Well... Uh... I'd like to go to some place where they have big bathtubs in the bathroom... And we could have bubble baths and light candles and... I know you don't like drinking, but maybe just one glass of wine..." Dean fidgeted slightly, clearly embarrassed.

Castiel smiled. "It sounds good to me," he murmured. "And....once we're married....I'd like to have sex without a condom."

Dean blinked. "... Really? You really want that?" he asked softly.

"Yes....you'll be my husband. And I want to be yours, completely." Castiel murmured. "Besides...I figured we could save our last first for our wedding night."

Dean chuckled softly, and rubbed his thumbs over Castiel's hips. "Yeah... Sounds good."

Castiel smiled. "And I'll give wine a try," he replied.

"And I won't get drunk off my ass," Dean promised, and kissed Castiel on the cheek.

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean. "Anything else you really want?"

"Well, unless you're opposed to it... I'd like to spend as much time as possible in our room, and only go out for food." Dean smiled, and reached down to playfully pinch Castiel's ass. "I'm sure I'll have quite a few ideas on what I'd like to do to you..."

Castiel jumped slightly, and chuckled. "Considering that we can't afford a lavish trip to Europe, I have no issues with that." 

Dean grinned, and pulled Castiel closer. "Good. Cause I'll try to make sure you feel so good that you can't walk after I'm done with you." 

Castiel grinned. "I'll be looking forwards to it," he purred. "But not now, love, you're not in the best shape for that."

Dean stopped grinning and started to pout and whine instead. "But, Caaaas..."

"Deeeeeaaaaannnnnn," Castiel whined back, a smile on his face. "If you're good, I'll give you a hand job."

Dean huffed and gently smacked Castiel's thigh. "Good, how?"

"Finishing our shower without getting too grabby, and not complaining when I change your bandages." Castiel smirked.

Dean pouted. He wasn’t too happy about it, but he wasn't one to turn down a challenge. "Okay, fine."

Castiel kissed the pouting lips, and ran shampoo covered hands through his fiance's hair.

Dean closed his eyes, sighing happily at the feeling. "Love your hands," he murmured.

"Love everything about you," Castiel smiled.

Dean chuckled, and would've rolled his eyes if he could. When Castiel had finished washing and rinsing his hair, Dean shampooed and washed Castiel's hair in return.

Castiel smiled happily, and helped Dean get out of the shower and dry off once they were finished.

Dean wanted to pull Castiel close and kiss him silly when he smiled like that, but he kept his hands to himself and let Castiel lead him to the bed when they were dry.

Castiel set Dean down on top of the bed, and retrieved the first aid kit to change Dean's bandages.

Dean kept reminding himself that he couldn't complain, and he sat there obediently to let Castiel do his work.

When Castiel finished, he smiled. "You've been doing good," he smiled, leaning up for a kiss.

Dean returned the smile, and happily gave Castiel a kiss. "So I get a reward?"

"Yes you do. One sec," Castiel smiled, and dipped out of the room to retrieve something, which he kept out of sight when he returned.

Dean carefully moved to lay down, and looked at Castiel curiously when he returned, wondering why he'd gone out of the room.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean gently, before showing him the tie he had grabbed, Castiel's navy blue one. "Close your eyes," he whispered.

Dean licked his lips. "Okay," he replied quietly, and obediently closed his eyes.

Castiel gently tied the tie around Dean's eyes, making sure it was tight, but not overly so.

"... Well this is a bit kinky," Dean chuckled softly.

"I've done some research," Castiel murmured in reply. "Rules, no bucking your hips, because you'll hurt yourself, and you tell me if you start hurting, promise?"

"... Oh, uh... Research on what?" Dean asked. "And yeah, I got it... Don't buck my hips, tell if it hurts."

Castiel murmured "Yes," and then he stopped touching Dean, going silent. After a few minutes, his tongue licked a stripe up Dean's chest.

Dean got a bit nervous when he didn't hear, see or feel Castiel, and he gasped at the feeling of Castiel's wet tongue. "Fuck-"

Castiel pulled back, and didn't touch Dean again for a few moments, and then his fingers slid over Dean's stomach.

Dean's muscles tensed up and he shuddered at the touch. 

Castiel pulled back, and continued, leaving Dean for a few moments before his fingers or tongue skated a path somewhere on Dean's body.

Dean found that he loved and hated it. Wonderful touches that promised good things, that were cruelly taken away. It left him trembling and whining for more - for a proper touch.

Castiel started breathing over the wet paths his tongue left, until his mouth latched onto Dean's nipple and sucked.

Dean whimpered and clutched at the sheets under him, wanting to arch and buck, but keeping himself still.

Castiel let go, and stopped touching Dean for the longest pause, before his tongue lapped at the tip of Dean's erection.

Dean twitched and cried out softly, his whole body tense and precome leaking out of his erection. "Fuck, Cas-"

Castiel pulled away again, and he swallowed audibly before he took Dean to the hilt.

Dean choked on his own breath, and he gripped the sheets so tight that his knuckles turned white. "God, Cas!"

Castiel hummed in return, swallowing around Dean before he started to bob his head, lapping at the tip when he pulled back far enough before swallowing Dean down again.

Dean panted, muscles shaking with the strain to keep still. "Oh fuck, Cas, so deep- Oh God- Your mouth-" he babbled, feeling his orgasm approaching quickly.

Castiel hummed softly, and sucked hard as he pulled back, tongue lightly flicking over the slit.

"Cas, fuck- Cas! Cas, I'm gonna- Oh God, gonna come..."

Castiel responded by pressing two fingers to Dean's perineum.

Dean's body spasmed and he cried out in pleasure and slight pain as he came hard in Castiel's mouth.

Castiel swallowed as much as he could, a bit trickling out from the corners of his mouth. He sucked Dean through the aftershocks, and pulled off once his cock was soft. He gently reached up to undo the blindfold. "Are you okay?" he asked softly.

Dean breathed heavily, and he nodded slowly, feeling a bit boneless. His eyes were glassy and slightly unfocused when the tie was removed. "Yeah... But my ankle hurts... From when I orgasmed."

Castiel nodded, and gently started to rub and massage at the swollen ankle, trying to relieve a bit of tension. He wasn't really that hard, a side-effect of not taking his medication. His libido went down severely.

Dean moaned in discomfort and pain, wanting to pull away but knowing it would make it worse. "Fuck... So... How long have you planned that...?"

Castiel finished massaging, and gently set Dean's ankle down before joining him, laying down next to him. "A few weeks. Was it enjoyable?" he asked.

Dean took a good look at Castiel's body, and blinked slowly. "... I loved it. But... You?" He reached up to gently touch Castiel's cheek.

"I enjoyed myself as well," Castiel murmured, leaning into the touch. "I'm just not in the mood myself. You know I don't feel sexual when I forget my meds."

"Oh, yeah... Sorry, I forgot for a moment," Dean murmured back, and kissed the tip of Castiel's nose.

"It's okay," Castiel's face scrunched slightly at the kiss to his nose before he smiled.

Dean returned the smile, and kissed Castiel on the lips. "Mh... But seriously. That was really good... I should let you try new things more often."

Castiel chuckled. "The research I was talking about was that. Sensory deprivation, by taking away your eyesight, it increased the sensation whenever I touched you, and by doing random patterns and wait times, it increased your want since you never knew where the next touch was going."

Dean stared at his fiancé, and blinked slowly. Twice. "Huh... I never really thought of sex as some sort of science," he said.

"More psychological than anything." Castiel cuddled close, yawning. He was very tired, and even though he didn't actually come himself, he felt like he had.

Dean chuckled softly, and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "Sounds like it's time for a nap, hon."

"Mmm." Castiel murmured, falling asleep relatively quickly in Dean's arms.

Dean soon fell asleep himself, his arms still around Castiel to keep him close.


	7. Opportunity Knocks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**
> 
> Balthazar's father is opening a restaurant, and has offered Castiel a job, both as a waiter and to paint a mural on the wall at the restaurant. Castiel is absolutely thrilled at the development, and makes burgers to celebrate. While they're talking, Castiel brings up the night he mostly didn't remember with Jo, and Dean tells him the details of what had happened. Castiel feels relieved, because he believed that they had actually slept with Jo. Sam returns home after a day at the library, and the trio just relax and enjoy the good food and good atmosphere.

Castiel took care of Dean for the next few days while he healed, and one day returned home from the drugstore with a bright smile on his face. "Dean!" he called out, ecstatic.

"Yeah? What is it?" Dean called back, pausing the game he had been playing on his phone.

"I got a job!" he grinned, looking at Dean. "I ran into Balthazar at the drugstore again, and his dad is opening a restaurant. They commissioned me to paint a mural, and offered me a job as a waiter as well!" Castiel was grinning widely. "The mural commission is $1,500"

Dean dropped his phone into his lap and just stared at Castiel for a moment, then his face broke into a big grin. "That's awesome, Cas! Congrats!"

Castiel hugged Dean, careful of his still-sore side. "I just...I can barely believe it. That commission alone will pay our rent for a month and a half."

Dean nodded and returned the hug. "Yeah, it's really great. We could put some money aside for emergencies, or fun things... Jeeze, it's amazing, Cas." He hugged Castiel tighter. "When do you start?"

"I start painting in a few days, once I go out and look at what I have to work with, and the theme and all of that. The restaurant won't be open for another two months, so that job won't start until then." Castiel buried his face into Dean's shoulder, unable to stop smiling. 

Dean rubbed his hand over Castiel's back. "Damn, Cas. I'm so happy for you. You finally get something to do, _and_ you get money for it. It can't get any better than that."

Castiel grinned, and kissed Dean happily. "I'm going to make burgers tonight to celebrate," he told the other, hugging him again.

Dean kissed back and hummed happily, smiling. "That sounds fantastic. Can I sit in the kitchen while you cook?"

"Of course," Castiel smiled, helping Dean off of the couch and into the kitchen, before he started to prepare the burgers. "Is Sam at the library again?" Castiel asked as he worked.

"Yeah. He loves that place. Maybe a bit too much, but I'm just happy there's at least something he likes here," Dean said, making himself comfortable on one of the chairs.

"I'm sure once he starts school, and makes friends, he'll be better." Castiel replied. It hadn't escaped them how much Sam missed Lawrence, as much as the younger Winchester tried to hide it.

"Yeah... I really hope so." Dean chewed on his lip. "... Y'know. Some times I do think about... Like, pets."

Castiel tilted his head slightly, curious. "What have you been thinking?" he asked.

"I think Sam would be happy if we got something he could focus on besides himself and how far away his friends are, y'know? Something that needs him a lot the first while, but can handle itself later when school starts... A kitten, or a cat, sounds like the best option really. They're quite independent, but still social... I don't know though, it's just something I've been thinking about." Dean shrugged slightly.

Castiel hummed thoughtfully as he continued to cook. "When is Sam's birthday?" he asked. "It has to be sometime soon, he hasn't had his birthday in the almost year we've been together."

"It's May the 2nd. He spent the day studying with Jess, and then humped her or something." Dean shrugged again.

Castiel's eyes widened. "He had his birthday and I didn't know about it?" he asked, feeling extremely guilty. He had been busy studying on May 2nd, and had completely shut everyone else out.

"I don't think he knew about it either, because he looked so surprised when I wished him a happy birthday," Dean said and chuckled at the memory. "Jess attacked him with cookies and gifts when we came to school. It was adorable."

Castiel nodded, feeling extremely guilty. Sam was basically his little brother, and he just felt horrible. "I was going to say, we could have gotten him a kitten for his birthday, but...I guess we should adopt one anyways, surprise him with it."

"Yeah. I think it'd make him happy, even if it's not a dog." Dean tapped a finger against his lips as he thought. "... Should we get a long haired one, or a short haired one?"

"Medium hair," Castiel replied. "Long haired cats need daily brushing, which some days we won't be able to provide, and short haired cats aren't as much fun to pet."

Dean furrowed his brows. "... Well, okay, I'll trust you on that. Because I'm not really an expert..."

"I used to have a cat," Castiel replied. "We had to put her down about a year before my mother passed. She had cancer."

Dean frowned. "Oh... That must've sucked big time," he murmured.

Castiel nodded. "My mother named her Anael. She had a fondness for angel names, as you can tell."

"Well... Angel names are kinda cool. There's not a lot of people that are named after angels... Except for, like... Michael." 

Castle chuckled. "Balthazar is actually named after an angel as well," he told Dean, his hands covered in raw beef as he made the patties.

"Really? Well damn. Sounds like you're just made to be friends," Dean commented, watching Castiel.

Castiel laughed. "It is nice, to have a friend." he replied. "Though I doubt we'll ever be as close as I am to you and Sam."

Dean huffed softly. "I certainly hope you won't be as close to him as you are to _me_. I really don't want someone else's hands on you..."

Castiel gave Dean a soft smile. "I'm yours, in every sense of the word. I've never known another's hands but yours, and I Would say lips, but I have a faint memory of kissing Jo when we were wasted."

"Mmh... Yeah, I remember that... I'm so happy that Jo didn't seem to remember that night." Dean scratched the back of his neck.

Castiel nodded. "I don't remember much of it either, but I do know that something happened. She had no pants or underwear on when we woke up, and your jeans were stained with come."

"... Oh." Dean licked his lips, then awkwardly cleared his throat. "Uh... Well... I got you off and then I rubbed myself until I came in my pants."

Castiel's head tilted as his eyes squinted. "Then why was Jo half naked?"

"... Well... She watched me blow you... And she kinda... Masturbated, and then she kinda... Came over and I... I fingered her while I sucked you off." Dean lowered his head and scratched his nose, feeling quite ashamed.

Castiel was quiet for a moment. "That's actually a lot more relieving than what I was imagining," Castiel confessed. "I was afraid we had actually had penetrative sex with her."

Dean looked up, clearly surprised. "... Oh. Well, yeah... That would've been a disaster."

Castiel nodded. "I'm not mad at you, for fingering her," he told Dean. "I feel very guilty sometimes, because I'm sure you miss being with women sometimes. I don't have breasts, nor a vagina, and you spent your entire sexual life until me wanting them."

"Meh... I don't miss them. If I ever get a craving for it, I just look at Busty Asians, or steal your laptop for a few minutes. Then it's all fine." Dean grinned sheepishly. "But really, I don't miss having sex with women... Sex with you is good. I don't have a reason to miss women just because they're... Women."

Castiel blushed slightly. "I'm glad I can satisfy you enough," he murmured, cheeks pink as he finished making the patties and washed his hands.

Dean smiled softly. "Yeah... You're always good to me, and always so pretty when you blush and moan my name."

Castiel's cheeks darkened. "I am far from pretty," he replied, moving to start the stove and find his stove top grill.

"Overruled!" Dean said loudly. "Your future husband says you're the prettiest of them all, and you cannot object."

Castiel's cheeks darkened further, and he opened his mouth to protest before he sighed and closed it. "I object, simply because _my_ future husband puts me to shame."

Dean opened his mouth, then closed it. Then tried again, but closed it again. "... But... I... You- No, I don't. You're much prettier..."

Castiel snorted. "Who was voted class flirt our junior year?" he reminded Dean.

Dean huffed. "Yeah. _Flirt_. You don't have to be pretty or handsome to know how to flirt well..."

"And most attractive in the same year?" Castiel reminded him.

Dean frowned. "... But it was when we were juniors..."

"And the only reason you didn't win both when we were seniors was because you were dating, and then engaged, to me." Castiel pointed out.

"... What?" Dean blinked in surprise. "How do you know that? I didn't know that. Are you serious?"

"I am, because you won it three years in a row, and then suddenly not our senior year? It's a little obvious."

Dean lowered his head, and stared down at the table. "If you say so..."

Castiel leaned over to steal a kiss.

Dean didn't protest, but didn't return the affection. Instead, he grumbled, mostly to himself. "Still think you're prettier..."

Castiel just snorted and continued making burgers.

Sam let himself in a few minutes later. "Home!" he called out as he locked the door behind him.

"Hey Sammy!" Dean called back, breaking the silence in the kitchen.

Sam made his way to the kitchen. "Smells good, whats for dinner?"

"Cas' homemade burgers. Shouldn't take too long until they're done... I think," Dean replied.

Sam chuckled. "What's the occasion?" he asked, taking a seat across from Dean.

"I got a job, and a mural commission. For $1500." Castiel beamed, feeling so elated with the situation.

Sam's jaw dropped. "Wow, Cas! That's fantastic!"

Dean smiled. "It sure is. And he probably got himself a friend, too, on top of it all."

Castiel nodded, and Sam grinned. "I'm really happy for you, Cas. It's about time you got someone other than my boring brother."

Dean huffed. "Hey now... You just got home, don't make me want to kick you already."

Sam stuck his tongue out before going to his bedroom to drop his bag off.

Castiel chuckled, finishing cooking the burgers and putting everyone's preferred toppings on them, handing Sam and Dean both a plate.

Dean smiled up at Castiel. "Thanks, hon," he murmured, and gently touched Castiel's arm.

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's forehead before sitting down as well, reciting his usual prayer before they all ate.

Sam grinned as he chewed. "Jess' family got a golden retriever puppy, she's adorable."

Dean paused, then continued to chew, though much slower. Then he swallowed. "What about the cat?"

"The cat's getting along well with the puppy, although Jess says he gets annoyed when the puppy wants to play and he wants to sleep." Sam replied. "I kind of wish we could get a dog."

Castiel glanced at Dean when Sam wasn't looking.

Dean glanced at Castiel in the exact same moment, then took a big bite of his hamburger. "Of course you do. You love dogs," he said simply. "Though I never get what you see in them..."

"They're super loyal, and protective, and one of the friendliest animals you'll ever meet," Sam replied, taking a large bite of his own burger.

"Yeah? But isn't that like... Different for each breed or something?" Dean raised a brow.

"In a sense, but any puppy trained young enough can be that way." Sam replied. "You just have to train them right, although some breeds take a lot more time and handling than others."

"Is that so? What do you think is the best dog, then?" Dean asked, and took another bite.

"Golden retrievers and labs," Sam replied instantly.

Dean wrinkled his nose. "You and Jess really do have the same taste when it comes to some things..."

Sam shrugged. "It's why we're so good together," he replied. "You and Cas have the whole opposites attract thing going on."

Dean turned to look at Castiel, then shrugged slightly and turned back to his food. "I guess we do."

Castiel nodded slightly. "But we respect each other's interests and wants, even if they conflict with our own," he pointed out. "And that's how we make it work."

Dean nodded in agreement, not really having anything to add to what Castiel said.

Sam chuckled. "Hey, I'm not complaining. You both are happy, and that's what counts. Although Dean, I will murder you if I'm not your best man."

"What? I'm insulted that you think there's even a possibility that you won't be my best man. Of course you'll be my best man."

Sam chuckled. "Good. What about you, Cas?"

Castiel shrugged. "I'm not sure. I don't exactly have many friends."

"Maybe you can ask Balthazar," Sam suggested.

"There's still a lot of time though, so there's no need to rush," Dean pointed out. "You'll meet more people at college, and make more friends."

Castiel nodded. "Exactly. We're planning on sometime mid-summer, although we haven't decided on a date yet."

"Well, why don't we hammer that out now, then?" Sam suggested. "Give ourselves a deadline."

"When would be the best time for you, Cas? Since you got college and all..." Dean asked.

Castiel hummed in thought. "If we take a week off to honeymoon, then the best time for me would be late June or early July."

"Mmh... Should we go with late June?"

Castiel nodded. "What date would be the best then? June 26th? 27th?"

"I dunno. Nothing really happens on either of those days... Right?"

Castiel nodded. "They're just normal days. Do you want to get married on some kind of holiday or something?"

Dean shook his head. "Nah, I'd rather not, really. I guess it would be cool, but it wouldn't, like... Be _our_ day. I think the 26th sounds good."

"All right, June 26th. We have a date." Castiel smiled. "I do believe you owe Bobby and Ellen a call."

Dean grinned, and caressed Castiel's leg with his good foot. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Castiel leaned over to steal a kiss, taking their empty plates and going to wash them. Dean smiled, putting his arms on the table to lean against them while he watched Castiel.

Sam chuckled. "You're so in love, Dean." he teased.

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes. "Oh no, I love the guy I'm going to marry. Such blasphemy!"

Sam just laughed. "It's just nice to see." he shoved Dean's shoulder playfully.

"Yeah, yeah." Dean snorted softly, but grinned as he shoved Sam's shoulder in return.

Sam laughed. "Don't think I've forgotten your "advice" about being a bachelor for life." he teased.

"Hey now, c'mon, that was long ago..." Dean mumbled, narrowing his eyes.

"Last summer?" Sam cocked an eyebrow.

"That's a whole year, and before Cas. So yeah, it's a long time."

Sam just laughed. "All right, all right. I'll forgive you." he grinned. "Now call Bobby and Ellen, before they drive out here to murder your ass for not calling them when you decided on a date."

"... What? What's there to forgive? I haven't done anything wrong," Dean protested as he carefully stood up. "Yeah yeah, fine. I'll call them, just gotta get my phone."

Sam chuckled, and got up to help Dean over to his bedroom to grab his phone, while Castiel made mugs of hot chocolate for the three of them.

Dean tried to call Ellen first, but she didn't answer, so he called Bobby - who picked up - and told him the news.

"All right, Ellen and Jo and I'll make plans to head over there, spend a few days before the wedding helping you idjits not screw it up," Bobby told Dean.

"Sounds good. Thanks, old man. We promise to keep you all updated on our plans. And tell Ellen and Jo that we all said hi."

"Course," Bobby replied, before hanging up.

Castiel came into the room to hand Dean and Sam both mugs of hot chocolate, with whipped cream and chocolate sauce drizzled on top.

Dean smiled and lifted a brow. "Celebratory drinks?" he asked as he looked at the mug in his hands, then at Castiel.

"Indeed," Castiel smiled, sitting down carefully on the bed next to his fiance, taking a sip from his own mug and getting some whipped cream on his nose. Sam had a mustache going on.

Dean grinned and chuckled at the other two, before he took a sip of his own drink.


	8. Tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**
> 
> Castiel has begun work on the mural, and brings Balthazar home to introduce him to Dean while he makes dinner. Dean does his best to be pleasant to Balthazar despite the clearly flirtatious and ogling remarks the other man makes about Castiel. When Balthazar leaves and Dean tries to discuss the matter with his fiance, Castiel doesn't realize any better and they end up parting with tension between them. Sam explains Dean's point of view a little more, and Castiel takes a walk to try and think about it.
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Unhealthy friendships, "boyfriendzoning"

Another week passed, and Castiel had started on painting the mural for the French restaurant that Balthazar's father was opening. He texted Dean later that afternoon.  
"Hey, I invited Balthazar over for dinner, if that's all right?"

Dean didn't know what to feel about it when he read the text, but it was Castiel's friend, and he couldn’t say no. Besides, it was about time he met the guy. "Yeah, sure. Though, do we have everything we need for dinner? I can send Sam out to get whatever we're missing,” he texted back.

"Do we have chicken in the freezer?" Castiel replied.

"Just checked, and yeah. We do have chicken in the freezer." Dean texted back.

"All right, put that out to thaw please. We'll be home in 20." Castiel replied.

"All right, see you in 20. Be careful." Dean pocketed his phone after he sent the text, and did what he'd been told.

"Course," Castiel replied back.

About 25 minutes later, Castiel let himself into the apartment. "Home!" he called out.

Balthazar followed behind him. "Quaint little place you've got here, Cassie." he murmured, looking around at the living room, and the two paintings Castiel had hung on the walls.

"Hey, Cas. Did you have a good day?" Dean called back from the kitchen. He could move around a little bit now, but it was slow and still quite painful, so he didn't bother to go greet Castiel by the door.

Castiel dropped his bag on the couch and went to the kitchen to greet Dean with a quick hug and kiss. "It was good, I worked on the mural some more." He turned to face Balthazar. "Dean, this is Balthazar. Balthazar, this is Dean."

"Pleasure," Balthazar extended his hand to Dean.

"Same." Dean took a good look at the man, before he reached out to shake Balthazar's hand firmly.

"So, you're the reason this attractive piece of man is taken," Balthazar chuckled, letting go of Dean's hand. "You didn't do too bad yourself, Cassie."

Castiel flushed slightly. "Balthazar, please."

Dean smiled lopsidedly, and rested his arms on the table. "Yeah, I'm really lucky to have Cas."

"Indeed. I tried to snap him up when we met, but I see you already put a ring on him." Balthazar pouted, taking a seat himself as Castiel started to make dinner.

Dean's smile faltered slightly. "Yeah... Though he was the one to put a ring on me, actually."

"Really?" Balthazar whistled slightly, leaning back in his chair. "So, I've heard a lot about you, Dean. Tell me, how did you grab such an angel?"

"Yeah, really." Dean nodded. "Well... I just happened to be there at the right time, and then things happened... And here we are." He smiled softly as he looked over at Castiel.

Castiel returned the soft smile, ducking shyly at the two pairs of eyes on him.

Balthazar chuckled. "Oh, he's a cutie." he said, leaning back. "So what do you do, Dean?"

"Yeah, he really is..." Dean murmured, and turned back to Balthazar. "I work with restoring cars, and I specialize in classic cars."

Balthazar hummed. "So, you aren't going to school, then? You don't seem like you'd go to CalArts."

Dean shook his head. "No... School isn't really my thing."

Balthazar hummed again. "You know you can't go far without a bachelor's anymore, right?" he pointed out. "You should consider it, at least."

Dean swallowed. "... Well, I... I've already got a job, and I'm not really planning to quit any time soon. So I don't think a degree will be necessary..."

Balthazar shrugged. "It's your choice. Besides, Cassie is talented enough that he could get a job for Hollywood, and then you two would be set."

"Yeah... Yeah, he really is talented." Dean bit his lip as he glanced at Castiel, then looked at the table. "So... Uh... What do you do, then?"

"I'm just a student, although I major more in sculpture," Balthazar replied. "My family's extremely well off, so I thought it would be nice of me to give Cassie a job to do."

"Oh, I see. Well, yeah... It really is nice of you." Dean nodded slowly.

The older man shrugged. "Hey, he's talented, and I don't mind the view when he's high up and painting," Balthazar chuckled. "So Cassie, what's for dinner?"

"Grilled chicken, basted with herbs on top of rice with mashed potatoes on the side," Castiel replied, busy cooking.

Dean's eyes narrowed as he looked at Balthazar, while leaning back and resting his hands on his thighs. "... Yes. Castiel is very attractive. He's also a great cook." 

"So he completely lied to me, he said not to expect much." Balthazar commented, watching Castiel cook. "Don't worry Dean, I'm not going to try to steal him away, but I wouldn't be upset if he did come to me."

Dean dug his fingers almost painfully into his thighs. "Yeah... He didn't exactly lie. He just doesn't see how good he actually is," he said, trying to keep his voice even. He didn’t say anything about the last part that Balthazar had said.

Balthazar hummed, completely unaware of Dean's tension. "Well, we'll just see when we eat then."

Sam let himself in a few moments later. "Home!"

"Hey, Sam! We're in the kitchen!" Dean called out, very happy that his brother was finally home.

Sam joined them. "Hello," he stated as he saw Balthazar.

"Hey there sasquatch, I'm Balthazar, Cassie's new best friend." Balthazar shook Sam's hand. Sam glanced at Dean, noticing the tension, and cocked a questioning eyebrow at his brother.

When Balthazar wasn't looking, Dean made a bitter face and cocked his head in Balthazar's direction, then tried to smile the best he could . "This is my brother Sam," he said. "He's a smart and a good kid."

"Well you obviously aren't hanging out with the right people," Balthazar chuckled. "Nice to meet you, Sam."

"Likewise," Sam replied, a little more on edge now that Dean wasn't fond of him.

"So... Uh. What's the theme of the restaurant, if you've planned to have one?" Dean asked, trying to keep the conversation going. It was the least he could do, for Castiel's sake.

"My dad's going for a Titanic theme," Balthazar made a face. "Cassie's painting a mural with all the big moments from the movie. It kills me, really. I hate Celine Dion. I would go back in time to unsink the Titanic if it mean getting rid of that bloody awful song."

"... Wow, you really do hate her," Dean mumbled. "So... It'll be a fancy restaurant?"

"Indeed, and it'll serve mainly French food." He replied. "It has a dress code, even. Cassie'll have to wear a suit to work every night, which I can't say I won't enjoy."

Dean clenched his jaws. "Uh... Yeah. He manages to make any sort of clothes look good."

"So, who's going to be wearing white for your wedding? Just so I have a mental image."

"Cas wants to wear white, so... Yeah. He'll be the one in white."

Balthazar whistled. "I can't wait to see that." he grinned.

Sam exchanged a look with Dean, while Castiel was humming to himself as he cooked, the meal almost done.

Dean was gripping his thighs so tight, he knew he would have bruises. "Yeah, he'll look great..."

Castiel plated up their meal, and brought them two at a time, setting Dean and Balthzar's plates down first before he got his and Sam's, sitting down. He was smiling, hoping that Dean and Balthazar were getting along. He prayed, and they began to eat.

"Holy shit, Cassie, you didn't tell me you were this good!" Balthazar complimented.

Dean tried to smile. "Yeah, he's amazing," he said, and continued to eat, while keeping an eye on Balthazar.

Castiel blushed at the compliment, and Balthazar slung his arm around Castiel's shoulders. "Seriously Cassie, make something for my Dad, and we'll get you a job as a cook!"

Dean bit his tongue to keep quiet, but he tensed up visibly as he saw how close Balthazar was to Castiel. 

Castiel finally noticed Dean's tension, and he gracefully slid out from under Balthazar's arm. "That's very kind of you, but you're family has done enough for me as it is." he shifted closer to Dean.

Dean relaxed quite a bit at that. "And when college starts, you'll be quite busy with that..."

"Indeed. So thank you for your offer," Castiel gave him a smile.

Bathazar shrugged. "Worth a try, and definitely worth if for your smile."

Dean gripped the silverware tightly, but said nothing as he focused on eating.

Castiel's hand found Dean's thigh and rubbed it gently. "We're getting married on June 26th, Balthazar." he changed the subject. "I don't think I told you the date yet."

Dean didn't find it very relaxing in that moment, and he didn't say anything, in fear of screwing up and making Castiel mad. While he liked Balthazar less by the minute, he was Castiel’s friend. He didn’t want to ruin that for his fiancé.

Balthazar nodded. "Lucky you two," he chuckled. "I'm still a bachelor, although I do enjoy taking part in menage a...what's French for twelve?"

Castiel smiled politely, and continued rubbing Dean's thigh.

When they finished, Balthazar stretched out. "Well Cassie, this has been fun. See you round!" he gave Castiel a hug, squeezing him close. "Nice meeting you, Dean."

Dean gave Balthazar a stiff smile and a small nod. "Yeah. Nice meeting you too, Balthazar. Take care," he said, not managing anything else.

Balthazar left, and Sam exchanged a look with Dean. He didn't like the remarks, the obvious flirtation, and how Castiel didn't seem to know any better.

Castiel was smiling when Balthazar left, although it faded when he turned to face Dean. "What's wrong?" he asked. "You've been tense all evening."

Dean took a moment to collect himself. "I'm fine. It's just..." he didn't know how to say it, without risking that Castiel would get upset. "... Balthazar makes me really uncomfortable, Cas. Like... Really, _really_ uncomfortable..."

Castiel tilted his head in confusion. "What do you mean?" he asked, not understanding why Dean was so uncomfortable. He just assumed that all the touches were meant in a friendly manner, not having had much experience in that department.  
.  
Dean swallowed thickly. "... He's way too friendly, Cas. He calls you _Cassie_ , and he keeps looking at you and talking about you in a way that just... Doesn't feel right - no, scratch that. In a way that _isn't_ right."

Castiel's brow furrowed. "What's so wrong with a nickname, Dean? You call me Cas, which by the way, he tried to call me at first, but I stopped him because that's your name for me."

"... Okay, fine. If you like the nickname, I have no problem with it. But the rest of it, Cas... Haven't you seen the way he looks at you? The way he touches you?" Dean asked.

"He touches me affectionately, yes, but isn't that what friends do? It's much preferable to being hurt. I don't flinch when I'm touched anymore, Dean. That's a huge improvement."

"I know it's an improvement, but Cas, what he's doing is too much. He kept talking about how he likes watching you, and how attractive he thinks you are! He was watching you almost constantly when you were cooking."

"He knows that he doesn't have a chance with me, Dean." Castiel replied. "I'm yours, utterly and completely. You can't help who you fall for, Dean, and I'm not about to give up on the first friend I've made by myself since you."

Dean frowned, and looked at the floor for a moment before looking up again. "Okay. Fine, whatever you say," he mumbled as he turned to go to their bedroom.

Castiel looked at Sam when Dean had left. "Was Dean right?" he asked softly.

Sam bit his lip and sighed. "In a way, yes he was, Cas. He made me very uncomfortable too, and we don't want to see you hurt. He seems pleasant, but the entire conversation was him commenting about how attractive you are. It gave both of us bad vibes, and friends don't treat their friends like he treats you. He treats you like a piece of meat,or a trophy. And he actually told Dean he wouldn't mind you leaving Dean for him."

Castiel was shocked "I would never-"

"I know you wouldn't, Cas, but it made Dean extremely uncomfortable. Especially since he already thinks he doesn't deserve you."

Castiel bit his lip. "I...I need to think for a bit." he murmured, grabbing his sweater before leaving the apartment to take a walk.

Dean laid on their bed on top of the covers, and he stared at the ceiling, thinking of everything that Balthazar had said. Thinking of everything he should've said or done instead of what he actually did. Maybe things would've been easier if he wasn't so stupid. Or if he had been a better person. Why couldn’t he just ignore it and let Castiel be happy about the friendship with Balthazar? He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, before rolling onto his good side and curling up, hoping to fall asleep.


	9. Make Up Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**
> 
> Castiel returns after his walk and apologizes to Dean, saying he'll talk to Balthazar about calming down the flirtation. Dean accepts the apology, and Castiel does something new in bed that Dean finds he absolutely loves.

Castiel returned after about an hour, and let himself back into the apartment and into their bedroom. He stripped down to his boxers and slid into bed, almost hesitantly wrapping his arm around Dean's waist, wanting to be close, to show his fiancé affection. 

Dean wasn't asleep, but his eyes were closed and he didn't move or say anything as Castiel came to bed. He didn't have anything to say.

Castiel knew that Dean wasn't asleep, and he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Dean's neck. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I didn't realize just how inappropriate he was being… I'll talk to him, I promise." he cuddled close, wanting so badly for Dean to forgive him. 

"... It's fine," Dean said quietly after a few moments. "He's your friend... If you don't find it troublesome, then I guess I don't really have the right to say anything about it."

"But he made you so uncomfortable, and that's not okay." Castiel murmured, his hand gently rubbing along Dean's stomach. "I'm sorry for not seeing how inappropriate he was being. Sam told me."

Dean pressed his face into the pillow, and took a deep breath. "It's fine, Cas... I bet he doesn't even say half of the things he said, when you can hear him..."

Castiel gently trailed kisses down the back of Dean's neck and over his shoulder blades. "From what Sam told me, he doesn't. But right now, I just want to show you how much I love you." he whispered against Dean's muscled back.

Dean bit into his lip and grasped at his pillow. "Yeah...? What are you planning?" he asked softly, not doubting Castiel's words, but he was a bit curious.

"You'll see," Castiel murmured, shifting slightly and continuing to kiss over Dean's back, lavishing attention on it while his hand trailed over Dean's chest, finding a nipple and tweaking it gently.

Dean moaned softly, and relaxed a bit under the attention he got from his fiancé. "Mmh... I do like good surprises," he mumbled.

Castiel smiled, and continued exploring every inch of skin on Dean's back, his lips dipping lower and lower. He shifted slightly, his hands moving to gently caress and squeeze Dean's ass. "I love your ass," Castiel murmured. "So much..."

Dean felt his face heat up and he squirmed a little, the feeling new to him. He was the one who got up that close to Castiel’s ass. "It's not that special... Yours is much better."

Castiel snorted, and his lips dipped down to gently start kissing over Dean's ass cheeks. "I think I'll change your mind about that," he whispered, nipping gently before sucking a mark right on his right cheek.

Dean shuddered at the slight sting, and gripped the pillow with both hands, pulling it out from under his head and pressing it against his chest. "Fuck..."

Castiel smiled. "Mine," he growled softly, before he moved to the left cheek to repeat the same action.

"Yeah... All yours," Dean replied, moaning softly as he was marked a second time.

Castiel let go once there was a nice, dark mark, and he shifted again, his tongue licking a wet trail up Dean's crack.

Dean gasped and his muscles tensed up. "W-what the- Cas?"

Castiel froze. "Is this okay?" he asked softly.

"I... I just didn't think... Uh. If you're _really sure_ you're okay doing that, then yeah," Dean murmured.

"I want to try. You seem to enjoy eating me out, so..." he trailed off.

Dean nodded. "Yeah... I do. It's great watching, hearing and feeling you lose it like you do," he said, relaxing a bit as he spoke. "It's one of the best things ever - at least that's what I think."

Castiel smiled softly. "Then let me have a chance to experience this side of it," he murmured, lips dipping down to scatter kisses down Dean's crack.

"O-okay..." Dean bit into his lip, and let himself relax further under Castiel's lips.

Castiel's hands moved, and he gently spread Dean's cheek, looking down at the other's entrance for a moment before he leaned in to hesitantly run his tongue over the puckered hole, listening for Dean's reaction.

Dean's breath hitched and he shuddered, muscles tensing and relaxing as he clutched the pillow tightly to his chest. "Oh fuck," he whispered. 

Castiel smiled, and continued licking over Dean's hole, his strokes becoming more and more confident as he worked.

Dean pressed his face into the pillow to muffle his moans. He shuddered at the feeling of Castiel's wet tongue, and soon he was writhing in pleasure.

Castiel moaned softly, and soon he was slowly teasing the tip of his tongue in, opening Dean up gently with his tongue.

"Ah- Oh, fuck- Cas," Dean whimpered and arched his back slightly.

Castiel continued slowly tongue fucking Dean, one of his hands reaching around to wrap gentle fingers around Dean's erection, stroking him slowly.

Dean groaned and carefully rolled his hips. "Fuck, Cas... M-more, please-"

Castiel just kept with the same slow pace, before he pulled back, reaching for the nightstand to grab the lube and a condom, letting go of Dean and pulling back, rolling him onto his back as he covered his own fingers with lube, reaching back to stretch himself open, letting Dean watch.

Dean had whined in protest when Castiel pulled away, but his complaints were forgotten as he watched Castiel stretch himself. "Oh fuck, Cas... That's hot," he breathed out, and tossed the pillow to the side. It landed on the floor with a soft thud.

Castiel gave him a soft smile, letting out a soft moan as his fingers brushed against his prostate, before he withdrew them, and tore open the condom, rolling it over Dean's erection and giving him a few good strokes with the lube, before straddling the other, hovering over him, waiting for Dean to adjust him into the correct position.

Dean eagerly grabbed at Castiel's hips and thighs, but was still gentle as he guided Castiel into just the right position, moaning as his erection brushed and pressed against the sensitive skin between Castiel's ass cheeks. He gently grabbed his own erection and held it still. "There we go..."

Castiel's breath hitched, but he slowly sank down onto Dean's erection, and let out a breathy moan. "Dean...." he whispered, sinking down until he had taken Dean all the way, letting out a soft groan once he bottomed out.

Dean threw his head back and breathed heavily as he put his hands on Castiel's hips, squeezing them gently. "Cas... So tight, so hot," he murmured.

Castiel let out a breathy moan, grinding his hips for a little bit before he started to lift himself up and sink back down, finding a rhythm and keeping to it. 

Dean groaned as Castiel started to move, and lifted his head to take a good look at Castiel and watched how his muscles worked. "Oh, Cas... You're so fucking gorgeous," he said softly. Castiel's cheeks flushed at the compliment, and he tightened around Dean. "Yours. Only yours," he whispered, crying out as he shifted, the angle changing and hitting his prostate.

Dean bit his lip to stifle a moan as he felt Castiel tighten up. "Fuck, yes- Only mine. Never anyone else's," he growled quietly.

"Never. Only yours," Castiel moaned in agreement, shifting so he was laying along Dean's body, exposing his neck as a clear offer for Dean to make his claim.

Dean brought one hand up to run his fingers through Castiel's hair, and he moaned as he started to kiss at Castiel's neck. He nipped teasingly at the skin, before he finally latched on to suck a big, dark mark onto Castiel's pale skin.

Castiel moaned loudly and shuddered, his breath catching at the new angle and Dean's lips on his neck. "Dean...Dean!" he moaned the other's name.

Dean soothed the mark by running his tongue over it, then found a new spot to suck a mark into. "Gonna mark you up, even after we've come... Gotta make sure people know you're taken," he panted softly into Castiel's neck. "It's my job as your fiancé, right? To take good care of you..."

Castiel moaned. "Yes....I have to mark you as well..." he panted, moaning as he rubbed his erection against Dean's firm stomach. "Dean...." 

Dean carefully moved Castiel's head so that he could kiss him on the lips. "My Castiel," he moaned, and ran his hands down Castiel's back to rub them over Castiel's ass.

"My Dean," Castiel moaned in response, shuddering. "Faster, please..."

"Anything for you..." Dean grabbed Castiel's ass with both hands, and braced himself on the bed the best he could with one good and one bad foot and a side that still hurt, then started to thrust up into his fiancé the best he could.

Castiel cried out, and moaned loudly, shuddering. "Close...so close...."

"Come for me- C-come, Cas..." Dean groaned, doing his best to keep on thrusting in Castiel. "Want to feel you come, Cas..."

Castiel shook, and then cried out, breathing hard as he came over their stomachs and chests. "Dean!" he cried the other's name, clenching down hard around his fiancé.

Dean made a choked noise as Castiel clenched around him, and a moment later he pressed his hips flush against Castiel, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his lover's ass as he came in the condom with a deep groan.

Castiel shuddered at the feeling before he slumped down, their bodies pressed together and his face in Dean's shoulder, breathing hard.

Dean shifted slightly, and groaned as his erection slipped out of Castiel's body, then closed his eyes and tried to catch his breath.

It took Castiel a few moments to catch his breath, and when he did, he turned his head to start kissing along Dean's neck, nipping at the skin before latching on and lazily sucking a mark.

Dean hummed softly as he loosely wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist, and traced invisible patterns on the skin with his fingers.

Castiel let go once the mark was nice and dark. "I love you," he whispered. "And you don't ever need to worry about me leaving you. I never would," he nuzzled his face into Dean's neck.

Dean sighed softly. "I love you too Cas... And I believe you," he replied quietly, and tightened his hold around Castiel. "I just... I can't help it..."

Castiel laced their left hands together, rings touching. "We're going to be married, Dean. When I proposed, I knew full well that there would never be anyone else for me. You're it, the love of my life, my better half. You keep me sane the way that no one else can even come close to."

Dean looked down at their hands, and gently squeezed Castiel's hand while he listened to his fiancé's words. "Okay," he said softly, and nodded slightly, rubbing his right hand over Castiel's lower back.

Castiel shifted so he could kiss Dean's lips, gently and lovingly, before he offered Dean the other side of his neck.

Dean took his chance, and kissed and sucked on Castiel’s neck, wanting to leave another mark on him to show that he was taken.

Castiel closed his eyes and let out a soft noise as Dean gave him another mark. "I'll wear a v-neck to work tomorrow," he smiled softly.

Dean breathed in the scent of Castiel, before resting his head on the pillow and looking at Castiel. "Sounds good," he replied, smiling lightly in return.

Castiel smiled back, and kissed Dean's lips lightly before he slowly peeled himself off of Dean, making a face at the drying semen.

Dean chuckled softly at the look on Castiel's face, and shook his head. "It's gonna be even messier after we're married," he said.

"Oh I don't doubt it," Castiel chuckled. "I only ask that the first time, we simply make love, since it'll be our first time without a condom. But after that, it's all up to you."

Dean smiled and nodded slightly. "Okay. But I'm not gonna decide everything after that... It's going to be _our_ honeymoon," he murmured and poked Castiel's side. 

Castiel squeaked slightly, and squirmed. "All right, all right." he chuckled. "I just know that's how I want our first time to be, as a married couple."

Dean grinned, and pressed his hand flat against the skin that he'd poked. "Yeah, and I like that."

Castiel smiled, and leaned slightly into Dean's hand. "I'll be right back," he murmured, getting out of bed to grab a towel to wipe their chests and stomach down. He cleaned Dean up, before starting to clean himself.

Dean stretched a bit after he'd been cleaned, and then watched as Castiel cleaned himself. He sighed happily. "I'm so lucky to have you," he murmured.

Castiel put the towel away and tossed the condom before he slid into bed with Dean, cuddling close. "I'm the lucky one." he murmured. "I managed to catch the eye of Lawrence High's womanizing football captain." he teased.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. "I prefer being known as Dean Winchester," he mumbled as he buried his nose into Castiel's hair. 

Castiel chuckled. "Only if I can be known as Castiel Winchester." he murmured into Dean's neck.

"Don't worry, you will be," Dean said softly, then yawned quietly and closed his eyes.

Castiel smiled softly, and closed his eyes as well. "I love you… Sleep well."

"Love you too, Cas... Night," Dean mumbled and nuzzled into the pillow, and soon drifted off into a deep slumber.

Castiel fell asleep not much longer later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm so sorry about the delay in this chapter! My internet died right when I submitted the chapter, and it told me it posted but it never actually did and I didn't notice, I'm so sorry about that.  
> But you guys will get a second chapter today, so hang tight for that!
> 
> ~Cinder


	10. Miscommunication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SPOILERS**  
>  Everything is fine the morning after, but after Castiel has gone to work, someone sends a message on his phone to Dean. It turns out to be Balthazar, and after the text conversation, Dean's having a hard time dealing with it and shuts off his phone. Castiel comes home angry that night, thinking Dean had ignored him. They talk it out later at night. The next day Dean goes through the messages Castiel sent him and feeling horrible, he decides to keep quiet and not mention Balthazar anymore.

When Castiel got up the next morning, and looked at himself in the mirror, he almost laughed. "Dean, my neck is more bruised than not." he informed the other.

Dean just smirked as he stretched out on their bed. "Mmh, looks better than any jewelry," he said, voice a bit rough from sleeping.

Castiel rolled his eyes, a fond smile on his face as he pulled on some of his older clothing to paint in, choosing a v-neck. "Balthazar is picking me up today," he told Dean. "I'll have a talk with him, all right?"

Dean frowned, and nodded slowly. "All right... And if anything happens, you call, okay? He doesn't seem like _that_ kind of guy, but... Be careful, yeah?"

"I will be," Castiel came back to the bed to give Dean a kiss. "But Sam drives if you have to come and get me, all right?"

"Yes sir," Dean said with a quick nod and a smile, then returned the kiss. "I promise I won't drive."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again. "I'm going to make breakfast before he gets here."

"Mmh, all right, sounds good... I'll be out of bed in a minute," Dean said and yawned again. 

"Take your time," Castiel replied, making his way into the kitchen.

Sam was already in there, making toast for himself. "Damn Cas, your neck." Sam commented.

"Dean was a little jealous." Castiel replied bashfully.

"A little?" Sam cocked an eyebrow at him.

Dean eventually managed to drag himself out of bed, and pulled on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before heading to the kitchen. "Mornin', Sam," he greeted as he saw his brother.

"A little jealous?" Sam greeted, cocking an eyebrow. "The neighbours pounded on the wall last night, although apparently you didn't hear them."

Dean froze, and stared at his brother. "... Please tell me you're joking."

"Nope," Sam popped the last syllable. 

Castiel flushed, turning a beet red.

Dean bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. "Uh... Well, that's awkward."

"You two were loud," Sam commented.

Castiel flushed again, and continued making pancakes for the three of them.

"... I guess it's time to learn how to be quiet," Dean mumbled, and awkwardly cleared his throat.

Sam snorted. "Because that's possible for you two."

"Sam, please." Castiel asked quietly, and Sam finally shut up.

Castiel finished making pancakes, and served them all, praying before they ate. Soon though, his phone went off, telling Castiel that Balthazar was waiting for him.

"All right, I'll see you two later." Castiel told them, giving Dean a kiss before going to get his shoes on.

"See you later, Cas, and call if something happens!" Dean reminded Castiel while he watched the other get ready to leave.

"Promise," Castiel replied, letting himself out of the house.

 

About an hour later, Dean's phone received a text from Castiel's phone. "Jealous much, Winchester?"

Dean blinked at the text, and quickly texted back. "Who are you? Balthazar? What are you doing with Cas' phone?"

"He left it on the table, didn't want to get it dirty. Seriously Dean, you didn't have to bruise him up like that. I told you, I wasn't going to try to lure him away."

"You also said a lot of other things. Did Cas talk to you?"

"Yes, he did, god Dean, you really are protective of him. A little too much, I might say."

"The fuck do you know? I only want what's best for him. And he isn't complaining, so I don't see the problem."

"Course he's not complaining, he doesn't know any better. But trying to control who he befriends? That's low."

"No! That's not true. Where the hell did you get that idea from?"

"Cause you had Cassie talk to me about being too touchy? There's nothing wrong with hugs,"

"Yes there is. When they're too intimate to be friendly!"

"I'm not being too intimate, Dean. Learn the difference."

"It looked pretty intimate to me when you huged him. Espeshally after every thin you said when you were here." Dean was a bit too quick and his fingers slid across the screen as he typed the message, and it wasn't until the text had sent that he saw his spelling mistakes, having somehow managed to turn off autocorrect. He felt cold and hoped that Balthazar, by some miracle, wouldn't notice the mistakes.

"No wonder you aren't in college." Balthazar replied. "And really, there's nothing wrong with appreciating the view. Although did you really have to make him wear that shirt, showing off his bruised neck? Looks less like hickeys and more like you tried to strangle him."

Dean stared at the message as he bit into his lip.  
"Don't you touch Cas' phone ever again, and if you text me again, I'll punch you in the face." He texted back, before he quickly turned his phone off and removed the back of it and the battery, making absolutely sure that not a single person could call or text him.

 

Later that night, a pissed off Castiel let himself into the apartment. "Why wouldn't you pick up your phone?" he asked. "I called and texted you a bunch of times. I needed a ride home, but instead I had to walk over two hours to get here." he snapped, clearly upset. "And Sam wasn't picking his phone up either."

Dean flinched at the harsh tone in Castiel's voice, and didn't look up to meet his fiancé's eyes. "... I removed the battery from my phone," he explained, trying to speak up but failing, his voice ridiculously small in comparison to Castiel's.

"Why?" Castiel asked. "You know what, forget it. Balthazar was right." he went to their bedroom and closed the door behind him.

Dean lifted his head just in time to see Castiel disappear out of his sight, and he took a shaky breath as he put his head into his hands, hearing the bedroom door click shut. He took a couple of deep breaths, and instead of gathering courage to go talk with Castiel, he curled up on the couch and stayed there.

A few hours later, Castiel came back out, his hair damp from the shower he had taken. "I'm still mad at you." he told Dean. "But you aren't sleeping on the couch tonight. It's not good for you."

"I'll be fine. It's not like it's the first time I've slept on a couch," Dean mumbled, still not looking Castiel in the eyes.

"But you're still hurt," Castiel replied. "And it'll be better for you. I don't hate you, I don't want you to get hurt further because of an argument."

"I don't deserve it. I belong on the couch," Dean said simply. "I'll be fine."

"You're just pissing me off even more," Castiel replied. "If you really don't want to be near me that badly, I'll sleep on the couch."

"That's not what this is about," Dean grumbled. "I love you, and I want nothing more than to sleep beside you, but I don't deserve it."

Castiel was quiet for a few moments. "Why did you turn off your phone?" he asked instead.

Dean tensed up. "'Cause I felt like it," he said quietly, clearly lying.

Castiel tensed. "Don't lie to me, please." he said firmly.

"... Some asshole decided to pester me," Dean said after a long moment of silence.

"Then why didn't you just say so? I understand that." Castiel replied. "You didn't have to lie to me."

"I don't know... I guess I just... Didn't think," Dean sighed heavily.

Castiel was quiet again. "What were they saying?"

"Doesn't matter. I threatened to punch them, so it's probably the first and last time it happened."

Castiel nodded. "So you weren't just ignoring me, then."

"No, I wasn't. I just didn't think it through... I'm so sorry, Cas..." Dean chewed on his bottom lip.

Castiel sighed, and wrapped his arms around Dean. "Balthazar told me you were probably ignoring me, that you felt really jealous."

Dean swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. "No, I didn't," he whispered as he grabbed at Castiel's shirt and held on tight.

Castiel held Dean close. "Just...please, don't do that again." he murmured. "It was just me having to walk, but it could have been so much worse..."

Dean nodded quickly. "I promise, I won't do it again. I'm so sorry, Cas... So, so sorry," he replied.

Castiel pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. "Come to bed with me, please." he murmured.

Dean nodded again. "Okay, Cas..." He carefully got off the couch, and went with Castiel to their bedroom.

Castiel let go of Dean and stripped down to his boxers as usual, slipping under the covers.

Dean didn't bother taking his clothes off, and just simply slipped into bed to lay on his back.

Castiel curled up next to Dean. "I talked to Balthazar about the flirting. He said he didn't realize he was doing it, and would try to stop."

Dean clenched his jaws. "Yeah... Sounds good. I'm happy you talked to him," he murmured, and carefully put an arm around Castiel.

Castiel cuddled close. "I love you," he murmured. "So much."

Dean looked at Castiel, and relaxed. "I love you too, Castiel," he murmured back, and pressed a kiss to the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel smiled softly, and closed his eyes, settled against Dean as he fell asleep.

Dean felt relaxed enough to sleep, and eventually managed to fall asleep himself. Though he kept waking up throughout the night, his mind not giving him any chance to get any proper rest.

 

When morning came around and it was time to get up, Dean was already awake, and felt like shit.

Castiel stirred, and blinked his eyes open. "Good morning," he murmured. "Did you sleep well?" he yawned.

Dean rubbed at his eyes. "Yeah... I did," he mumbled, not wanting to worry Castiel. "How about you?"

"I slept well," Castiel murmured, stretching out in the bed, making a soft noise as he did so.

Dean managed a small smile as he watched Castiel. "... You're beautiful," he whispered.

Castiel blushed. "As many times you tell me that, I still have trouble believing it." he murmured.

Dean smiled a bit wider. "Don't worry. I'll believe in it enough for the both of us, until you also start to believe it..."

Castiel just offered him a small smile. "I'll try," he murmured, shifting to catch Dean's lips in a slow, lazy kiss.

Dean sighed softly and kissed back gently. "Trying is good enough..."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again. "I need to get ready for work..." he murmured. "As much as I want to just lay in bed with you all day."

"Yeah... I understand that feeling," Dean mumbled, and gently touched Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled softly, and leaned into the touch before he got out of bed to get dressed and ready for the day.

Dean sat up in their bed, and watched Castiel. "... You be careful today, too, okay? And I promise to keep my phone on..."

Castiel nodded. "I will be." he promised. "I'll call you later, all right?" he leaned over to give Dean one last kiss before he had to go.

"Bye, Cas. See you later," Dean said as he watched his fiancé leave. Then he got out of bed, and went to carefully put his phone back together so he wouldn't miss it when Castiel called.

Once Dean's phone was back on, it immediately started buzzing with over 20 missed calls and text messages.  
"Hey Dean, I need a ride home."  
"Did you get my first message?"   
"Dean? Is everything okay? I tried calling you a few times."  
"Sam isn't picking up his phone either, what's going on?"  
"Dean, I'm getting worried."  
"Is everything okay?"  
"Dean?"  
"Dean, I'm going to start walking home. I hope everything's okay, call me when you get these."  
"I'm really worried now, please call me."  
The voicemails revealed Castiel slowly dipping into a panic attack, the final voicemail of him in the throes of one.  
"I'm going to call Balthazar now, since you won't pick up your fucking phone!"

Dean felt sick to his stomach, and had to sit down for a bit to calm down. He was so fucking stupid. So, so damned stupid. He eventually managed to get off the couch, and went to take a shower - bringing the phone with him to the bathroom so he could answer it quickly if he needed to. He hoped that Castiel wouldn't have to call him unless he needed to be picked up after he finished working.

 

Dean's phone buzzed with a text message a few hours later, from Castiel.  
"I'm going to need a ride, I get off in about half an hour."

"Ok. I'll talk to Sam. I'll text you again in a bit." Dean replied, then texted Sam who had gone off to God knows where - he guessed the library, again -, telling him that Castiel needed a ride home. He had promised his fiancé that he wouldn't drive, and instead let his sprain heal properly.

"Okay, I'll be home in fifteen." Sam replied. "How'd last night go?"

"Cas was pissed, but I got to sleep in the bed anyway." Dean replied.

"Ah." Sam replied. He arrived home when he said he would, his bag holding a few books he had checked out. "Ready to get him?" he asked.

Dean sent Castiel a text saying that they were on their way, then nodded. "Yeah, let's go," he said as he put his shoes on, giving Sam a chance to put the bag away, and then they headed out to the Impala.

Castiel was waiting with Balthazar outside of the restaurant, the two of them chatting. When Balthazar saw the Impala approaching, he gave Castiel a hug before letting him go, glancing at the car.

Dean didn't acknowledge Balthazar standing there with Castiel, even if it made him feel a little sick. He didn't do anything but wait as Sam slowed the car down until they stopped right outside the restaurant.

Castiel waved at Balthazar and called out a goodbye to a few people inside before he slid into the backseat. "Thanks for picking me up," he smiled at them.

Dean pretended that he hadn't even seen Balthazar, and smiled back at Castiel. "It's no problem, Cas."

"How was your day?" he asked the brothers, buckling himself up.

"I was just at the library, reading." Sam replied. "Yours?"

"Decent, I made progress on the mural." Castiel shrugged. "Dean?"

"It was chill. I took a shower and then I played games," Dean said, and leaned back in his seat.

Castiel nodded, relaxing back into his own seat.


	11. Not the same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  A few weeks passes by and Dean's healed up, and Castiel's first day of classes arrives. He's nervous, but at the end of the day when Dean picks him up, he's looking good. College is not the same and he even made new friends and everything's looking good. They celebrate by having a good time in the bedroom and really taking their time - and later eating pizza for dinner with Sam.

A few weeks passed, and Castiel finished up the mural. He still spent a lot of time with Balthazar, although he tried to keep away from his more obvious flirtations. Rather, he would try to talk about wedding plans. They had already booked the church, Castiel wanting to use the one he had found once they had moved there, and they were now trying to find a place for the reception, since their small apartment wouldn't do for the ten or so people that would be attending.

Castiel was getting ready to start school the following week, and he was extremely nervous. "What if it turns into high school again?" he confessed to Dean one night. "If no one likes me."

Dean had wrapped his arms around Castiel, and held him close. He had recovered from his injuries and gone back to work, although he was still taking it pretty easy and being more mindful of his surroundings and were he put his feet during work. "Hey, this is a new start. College isn't like high school, Cas. I have a feeling that you'll be just fine. So stop worrying your pretty head off, and try to focus on the parts you know will be fun," he murmured.

"No math," Castiel chuckled softly, clinging to Dean. He had already completed all of his math and science courses in high school. "I can call you at any time if I need you, right?"

Dean nodded, and kissed the tip of Castiel's nose. "Yep. And if I don't answer immediately, I will call you back as soon as I can."

Castiel nodded, and relaxed slightly in Dean's arms. "Thanks," he whispered quietly.

Dean pressed his lips to Castiel's forehead. "It's nothing, Cas... I'll do anything for you," he murmured.

"As I will for you," Castiel murmured, cuddling close.

 

Of course, the morning found Castiel heading straight into a panic attack. "I can't do this, Dean, I can't... No one will like me and I'll just get hurt over and over, and there'll probably be someone like Alastair..."

Dean gently grabbed Castiel by the shoulders, and made the other face him. "Hey, Cas. Look at me for a second... Good. Now... Breathe, okay? Just breathe. In, and out... Slowly. You _will_ be okay. This isn't high school. They are not Alastair."

Castiel took a deep breath and nodded, slowly breathing in and out, matching his breathing with Dean's. "Can you drive me today?" he asked softly, once he had calmed down a little bit.

Dean nodded, and gently rubbed Castiel's upper arms in a comforting way. "I'll drive you, and I'll come pick you up when you get out. Sound good?"

Castiel nodded, wrapping his arms around Dean and holding him close. He was wearing the sweater Dean had given him, what had turned into the substitute for the lost trench coat. "Thanks." he murmured softly.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in return. "It's no problem, hon. I love you, and I'm happy you're going. I'll be just a phone call away, all day. There's no need to worry."

Castiel nodded, and swallowed hard, before he picked up his bag. "Okay. Let's go," he murmured, still a little shaky. 

"All right." Dean nodded and grabbed his keys, then took one of Castiel's hands into his own before they headed out to the Impala.

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand, not letting go the entire drive. When they pulled up to the building where Castiel's first class was, he swallowed. "I'll call you when I've finished," Castiel promised, not wanting to let Dean's hand go.

Dean squeezed Castiel's hand gently in return, and leaned over to kiss him softly. "All right. Take care of yourself, and try to have a good time, all right?"

Castiel nodded, and took a deep breath, letting go of Dean's hand and getting out, his shoulders instinctively folding in, making him look smaller than he was as he disappeared into the crowd. Dean lingered for a bit, waiting for a little, just in case Castiel would run back. When he didn't see his fiancé, he smiled proudly and drove off.

 

Castiel called him a few hours later, once his two classes of the day were finished. "Dean, you were right, this wasn't bad at all." he smiled happily. "And I met this girl, Charlie Bradbury, and she's gay as well. She has a girlfriend named Dorothy, and I ate lunch with them."

"That's great to hear, Cas," Dean said, smiling as he drove to pick up Castiel. "It's good that you met nice people. Maybe you'll make great friends with them. And how were the classes?"

"They were nice, I can't really tell how well I'll like them since they're intro classes and this is the first day," Castiel replied, sitting on a low wall as he waited to see and hear the familiar Impala.

"Yeah. You'll get a better feel of things later on... And hey, listen, traffic's a bit heavy, so I gotta go. I'll see you in a little bit. Love you," Dean said, before he ended the call.

A little while later, he pulled up at the same spot that he'd dropped Castiel off earlier, and smiled as he saw his fiancé coming towards the Impala.

Castiel smiled back, not looking nearly as harrowed as he had when Dean had dropped him off, sliding into the passenger's seat and leaning over to give Dean a kiss. "People actually apologized for bumping into me, Dean." he smiled.

Dean grinned, and kissed back. "Well look at that, people actually have common sense over here," he said, and gave Castiel another kiss. 

Castiel kissed back, and when they pulled back, a few people were smiling at the car. No one was laughing, no one was throwing rocks, and Castiel had never felt more at peace.

Dean smiled softly, and pulled Castiel closer. "Let's go home and celebrate that the day has gone well," he murmured.

"Yes," Castiel murmured, curling close to Dean as they drove away from campus, lacing their fingers together.

Dean held Castiel's hand the whole way home, and didn't let go until they were parked and the engine had been turned off.

Castiel grabbed his bag and got out of the car. "I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that people were nice to me today." he murmured as they walked up to the apartment.

Dean fished the keys out of his pocket. "It's a good thing that people are nice and more open... To be honest, I was actually a bit worried myself," he admitted quietly, and unlocked the door to their apartment to let them both inside.

Castiel nodded, setting his bag down on the floor and toeing his shoes off before he plopped down onto the couch, stretching out.

Dean took off his own shoes, and then went over to the couch, sitting down on one of its arms. "Should we order pizza or something, later? So you won't have to cook?"

"That sounds wonderful," Castiel replied, lounging on the couch, his sweater riding up and exposing his hipbones.

Dean slowly looked Castiel up and down, and licked his lips. "Awesome," he said, moving so that he was kneeling by the couch and he could rest his cheek on Castiel's thigh. 

Castiel smiled, and brought his hand up to run it through Dean's hair, his eyes affectionate. "You can join me on the couch, you know." he murmured.

Dean sighed happily at the feeling. "Mmh. I know," he mumbled, and nuzzled against Castiel's thigh. "But I like this, too."

Castiel smiled, and continued playing with Dean's hair. "I love you," he murmured.

Dean smiled back and closed his eyes. "I love you too, Cas," he said softly.

Castiel smiled and relaxed back into the couch. After a while, he murmured. "The only thing I don't like about this position is that I can't kiss you."

"Mmh... I know. But I can kiss you," Dean chuckled, and shifted a bit. He used one hand to push Castiel's sweater a little further up, then started to press soft kisses to the exposed skin.

Castiel let out a soft breath and a smile as he felt Dean's lips against his sides, stomach, and hips.

Dean hummed and smiled against Castiel's skin, and after a while, he just couldn't resist. He pressed his lips against the skin close to Castiel's navel, and started blowing raspberries on Castiel's belly.

Castiel squealed and squirmed, trying to get away, laughing. "Dean!"

"Cas!" Dean said back, then continued to blow raspberries on Castiel's ticklish skin.

Castiel squirmed and laughed, not able to get away. His hand reached to lightly tickle The back of Dean's neck. Dean stopped, but only so that he could get away from Castiel's hand and avoid getting tickled himself. Castiel sat up and grinned, moving off of the couch to catch Dean, wrapping his arms around the other and digging his fingers into the other's soft sides. Dean gasped and then he started laughing, and squirmed and twisted in an attempt to get away.

Castiel held on tightly, until Dean elbowed him in the sternum and he gasped, letting go to cough and catch his breath.

Dean flopped down on the floor, and panted softly. He furrowed his brows as he looked up at Castiel. "... H-hey... You okay...?"

"I'm okay... You elbowed me." Castiel replied, coughing a little. "Knocked the breath out of me."

"Oh... Shit, I'm... I'm sorry," Dean said and pushed himself up to sit.

"It's fine, it was an accident." Castiel replied, giving Dean a smile.

Dean still felt guilty. "You sure? It doesn't hurt too bad, does it?"

"I'm fine now," Castiel replied, giving Dean a smile.

Dean let out a sigh of relief, and moved closer to give Castiel a kiss. "Good."

Castiel smiled into the kiss, wrapping his arms and legs around Dean. Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in return, and deepened the kiss slightly. Castiel hummed happily, and parted his lips willingly, his tongue flicking at Dean's tongue teasingly.

Dean moaned softly, and licked and nipped at Castiel's lips before slipping his tongue inside. Castiel slotted their mouths together as he let Dean in, his hands grasping at Dean's shirt and pressing close, sitting in the other's lap with his legs around Dean's waist. Dean pressed his hands flat against Castiel's back and pulled him closer, their torsos pressed flush against each other.

Castiel's neck was bending back as he tilted to keep his mouth attached to Dean's, before he had to break the kiss, the position hurting his neck too much. He was panting softly, and looked into Dean's eyes, locking his gaze there.

Dean looked straight back into Castiel's blue eyes, and slowly licked his lips after a few moments. "... Wanna go to the bedroom?" he murmured softly, moving one of his hands lower, fingertips brushing against the waistband of Castiel's pants.

Castiel smiled softly. "You get to call the shots tonight," he murmured. "But I'm not moving, you get to carry me if we move."

Dean hummed softly. "You sure? You're the one who was brave and did an awesome job today," he said and started to shift, and soon he had one arm under Castiel's ass and the other arm wrapped tightly around Castiel's waist, while he carefully got to his feet. His muscles strained slightly, but he managed just fine. He had healed up completely and was just working on getting his full strength back.

Castiel tightened his grip, clinging to Dean's front. "I still want you to take control tonight. I'm in a very submissive mood, I wouldn't do well if I was trying to top."

"All right, hon, if you say so," Dean said, and carried Castiel to their bedroom. Castiel smiled, and kissed at Dean's neck as they walked, sucking a mark right underneath his ear. Dean moaned softly at the feeling, and when they reached the bed, he carefully lowered them both to lay on top of the covers.

Castiel hummed contently. His legs still wrapped around Dean's waist as he looked at the other, blue eyes locked on the green. "I'm yours tonight. Do what you want, I want whatever you want to give me."

Dean smiled and slowly ran his hands down Castiel's sides and thighs, then up again. "Then I wanna take things slow... Take the time to love you," he murmured, pressing their foreheads together.

Castiel smiled softly, his eyes shining with love and affection. "Sounds wonderful," he murmured, before tilting his head to kiss Dean, sweetly and gently.

Dean kissed back just as gently, and continued to caress Castiel's sides, hips and thighs, mainly just stroking but some times gently squeezing his hips and thighs. Castiel's muscles relaxed under the gentle touches, and he nipped softly at Dean's lips. Dean hummed softly and slipped his hands under Castiel's sweater, to feel the warm skin of his torso.

Castiel arced up into the touch, wanting to feel Dean's hands covering as much skin as they could. Dean kept his touches gentle and slow, not wanting to rush anything. His fingers brushed over Castiel's nipples, and dragged lightly over his ribs and sides. He made sure to caress every piece of skin that he could reach.

As Dean's hands moved, Castiel's muscles fluttered, relaxing and tensing in turn as Dean touched him. When Dean touched him like this, Castiel could forget how marred his skin was, how mutilated his body had become after years of self harm. Dean touched him like his skin was as delicate as a baby's, and it helped him forget.

Dean loved the feeling of Castiel's skin under his hands. He loved to warm it up when it got a bit cold, either by running his hands over it or blanketing Castiel's body with his own. He knew that Castiel didn't have a lot of feeling in some places, but he still liked to be gentle. If he was gentle and light with his touches, he could feel each bump of Castiel's scars. They were part of his fiancé, and hell, some times it hurt to feel and to see them, but as a part of Castiel- he loved them.  
Dean kissed Castiel softly on the lips, then slowly kissed his way to the other's ear to nip and lightly suck on the earlobe.

Castiel's eyes slid closed and his lips parted as he breathed, letting out a soft noise as Dean sucked on his earlobe. He shivered slightly, and slid his legs from around Dean's waist until they were just parted, his fiance fitting right between them. He loved the feeling of Dean's hands, the gentle fingers and calloused palms calming and reassuring him more than anyone else could ever do.

Dean let go of the earlobe and gave the ear a soft kiss, before he moved down to pepper Castiel's neck with slow kisses. His hands went up to Castiel's chest, and he started rubbing the nipples with the pad of his thumbs, loving the way the nubs hardened at his touch.

Castiel let out a soft noise, arching his head back and pushing his chest up so he could give Dean more access, submitted completely under the other's touch.

Dean nipped gently on a patch of skin right under Castiel's ear, before he latched on to suck on it - but not hard enough to leave a mark. He pinched and pulled at Castiel's nipples - gentle enough for it to be good, but rough enough to make them sensitive.

Castiel's breathing was harsher, his eyes closed as he let out soft noises, his body relaxing and melting under Dean's touches. He gasped slightly as the sweater settled back down, the fabric scraping against his sensitive nipples and sending a jolt through him.

Dean smiled into Castiel's neck as he rubbed his hands over his fiancé stomach. "You make such sweet noises, honey," he whispered, feeling a bit enchanted by the soft noises that fell from Castiel's lips. His hand slid down lower, and he caressed Castiel's inner thighs.

Castiel shuddered, at the pet name, and the hands on his inner thighs. "I've only ever made them for you," he whispered softly, voice husky and hoarse with arousal.

Dean gently squeezed Castiel's thighs, before caressing them again. "Mmh... My Castiel. Mine. Rawr," he said and pressed a gentle kiss to Castiel's jaw. He moved his hands up, and slowly pushed Castiel's sweater up to expose his chest and stomach.

Castiel couldn't help but laugh. "Rawr?" he questioned, shifting so Dean could rid him of the sweater completely.

"Rawr," Dean confirmed as he tossed the sweater to the side, and nuzzled his face into Castiel's neck while his hands roamed over the newly exposed skin.

Castiel laughed again, his hands running over Dean's shoulders, gasping and shuddering as Dean's fingertips brushed over his nipples.

Dean smiled into Castiel's neck, and rubbed his thumbs over the sensitive nipples. "Love it when you laugh, and when you shudder like this," he murmured, and started kissing his way down to Castiel's chest. He stopped rubbing one nipple, just so he could gently lick and kiss at it.

Castiel shuddered, and let out a soft cry. "Dean..." he whimpered the other's name, a bolt of arousal shooting through him.

"I got you, Cas... I got you," Dean murmured, rubbing his free hand over Castiel's hip. He wrapped his lips around the nipple, and started sucking gently, then let go lick at it and then suck on it again. When he was done, he moved over to the other nipple to give it the same treatment as the first.

Castiel nodded, and arced his head back, one of his hands reaching up to grasp at the pillow he was laying on as he let out more soft noises. Dean hummed softly, pleased with Castiel's reaction. When he felt he was done, he moved up to kiss Castiel's chin, then kissed his way down Castiel's torso while running his hands over his sides. Castiel shivered, his eyes remaining closed as he just let himself feel, feeling Dean worshiping his body, and feeling loved and taken cared of.

Dean dipped his tongue into Castiel's navel, then peppered his lower abdomen with kisses, and licked and nipped at his hips - but he didn't leave any marks. He slid his hands down and under Castiel, to rub and squeeze his ass.

Castiel keened softly, pressing his hips up into Dean. This was different, but enjoyable. Normally, they loved leaving marks on each other, but with the exception of the mark Castiel had given Dean while they were making their way to the bedroom, they hadn't marked each other at all.

Dean didn't want to mark Castiel just yet - didn't know if he would later, either. Right there and then though, he just wanted to be slow and gentle. He shifted lower, and nuzzled his face into Castiel's crotch.

Castiel let out a soft cry, his other hand coming up to grasp at the pillow, holding it tightly.

Dean simply mouthed at the bulge in Castiel's pants for a few moments, then pulled away to pull down the zipper and pop the button, then slowly removed the pants.

Castiel lifted his hips up to help Dean get his pants off, before he relaxed into the bed. His erection was heavy, precome smearing a little against his belly.

Dean licked his lips at the sight and tossed the clothes to the side, then leaned down to lap up the small amount of precome on Castiel's skin. "You're so gorgeous," he murmured.

Castiel shivered at Dean's tongue, and he let out a soft breath. Maybe there was truth in Dean's words after all, he thought.

Dean kissed his way down to Castiel's thighs, and lifted one of them up, just a little. He kissed the crease between the thigh and the hip, then started pressing slow kisses to the inside of Castiel's thigh, all the way up to his knee, then back.

Castiel trembled, his thigh tensing and relaxing under the attention as he let out soft pants.

Dean gave Castiel's other thigh the same attention, then he caressed the sensitive skin with his hands as he moved up a bit to kiss and lick the skin on Castiel's abdomen and hips. "You're so sweet," he murmured,

Castiel just let out a soft whine in response, some more precome smearing on his stomach as he panted.

Dean chuckled softly. "Mmh... So, so sweet," he murmured, and licked his lips before pressing a kiss to the length of Castiel's erection. 

Castiel sucked in a sharp breath before letting it out with a soft moan, his hips pressing up slightly.

Dean pressed soft and wet kisses to the length, then gave it a bold lick from the base to the tip. He pulled away after that, and reached out to pull out the lube and a condom from the nightstand.

Castiel was trembling slightly, keeping his eyes closed as he waited for Dean to continue.

Dean put the items to the side, then settled back between Castiel's legs. He used one hand to gently grab Castiel's erection, and stroked the shaft slowly while he lapped precome from the tip.

Castiel let out a soft cry, his thighs trembling as he tried not to buck his hips.

"You're doing good... So good, Cas, so good for me," Dean said softly and wrapped his lips around the head to suck on it.

Castiel let out a loud groan as he felt the warm, wet heat of Dean's mouth. "Dean...." he breathed out the other's name.

Dean lowered his mouth far enough onto Castiel's length to let go with his hand, and he ran his hands over Castiel's hips and thighs while sucking gently. After a while, he reached for the lube and uncapped it, then poured some into his hand and let it warm up for a bit.

Castiel was breathing harshly as Dean sucked him off, his knuckles white as he continued gripping the pillow.

When the lube had warmed up a bit, Dean slicked his fingers while he sucked more of Castiel into his mouth, then pressed his fingers between Castiel's asscheeks and rubbed over his entrance.

Castiel let out a soft gasp, pressing his hips forwards against Dean's fingers and mouth.

Dean hummed around Castiel's erection, pressing his tongue against the underside of it. He continued to just rub his fingers over Castiel's hole for a while, but eventually, he gently pressed the tip of a finger inside.

Castiel was panting, pleasure etched on his face as he squirmed slightly, wanting more.

Dean slowly pushed the whole finger inside, and gently wiggled it around before pulling it out and pushing it in again, stretching Castiel so he could fit another finger inside.

Castiel let out soft noises, loving the feeling of being stretched open. "Dean... Dean..." he whispered.

Dean moaned softly around Castiel, and it didn't take long until he was pushing a second finger inside. He crooked, twisted and scissored his fingers for a bit, then started to thrust them in and out of Castiel - avoiding his prostate on purpose.

Castiel mewled softly, trying to shift his hips slightly so Dean would hit his prostate, and letting out a frustrated whine when he didn't succeed.

Dean rubbed his free hand over Castiel's stomach as he looked up at the other, then closed his eyes and focused on sucking and prepping Castiel. Soon, he was adding a third finger, spreading them and thrusting them in and out - still avoiding Castiel's prostate.

Castiel whined again. After a few minutes, he murmured. "I'm ready, please..."

Dean hummed in acknowledgement, and then slowly pulled his fingers out of Castiel and his mouth off Castiel's length. He breathed heavily as he sat back on his heels and pulled off his shirt, then removed his belt and undid his jeans, pulling the jeans and underwear down enough to let his own erection spring free.

Castiel's eyes opened for the first time since they had started to watch Dean strip, licking his lips at the sight of Dean's erection.

Dean wiped his hand on the sheets, then picked up the condom. He opened it, then slowly rolled it onto his cock and slicked himself up, moaning at the feeling. Then he moved back between Castiel's legs and use his hand to guide his erection to Castiel's opening. "Gonna push in now, Cas," he said, even if Castiel had said he was ready. He adjusted himself a little, then started to gently push inside.

Castiel's eyes closed and he moaned again, lifting his hips up slightly and pressing back against Dean, wanting to be filled completely. Once Dean had bottomed out, he moaned loudly and trembled slightly, his erection twitching. 

Dean pressed his forehead against Castiel's shoulder and groaned. "Always so tight... Fuck, Cas. It's incredible," he mumbled, letting Castiel get used to his size before he started moving.

Castiel let out a breathy chuckle and a moan, his own hips rocking with Dean's pace.

Dean peppered Castiel's neck and shoulder with kisses while he slowly thrust into his fiancé, his hands on Castiel's hips to help him move and steady him.

Castiel's hands let go of the pillow to wrap around Dean, his fingernails dragging lightly over his fiance's back.

Dean shuddered and arched his back, pausing moving his hips to just grind against Castiel instead.

Castiel shuddered, panting. "Fuck, Dean..." he whined, spasming and clenching down when Dean rubbed against his prostate.

Dean groaned into Castiel's neck, and started thrusting again, a bit faster this time. Then after a while he stopped, just to grind into Castiel again.

Castiel's fingers dug into Dean's back as he panted, whenever Dean stopped to grind was when he stimulated his prostate, and he moaned loudly, arching his head back. "Dean!" he cried out the other's name.

Dean continued on like that. Thrusting in a calm or outright slow pace, then stopped to grin into his fiancé, then started thrusting again. He loved the way Castiel responded to the stimulation. "Fuck, Cas... So good. You're so good," he mumbled, and almost whimpered when Castiel clenched around him again.

Castiel was panting, clinging tightly to Dean. "I need to come, please..." he begged softly. "Please..."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, yeah... I'll make you come," he breathed out, and adjusted his position a bit, then started to thrust harder and faster into Castiel.

The new position nailed his prostate with every thrust, and Castiel cried out, loudly. He reached. Hand down to stroke himself, and it only took a few moments after that before he came, Dean's name on his lips as he spilled over their stomachs and his hand.

Dean groaned and panted into Castiel's neck as the other clenched around him once again, and it only took one more thrust before he was coming himself, his muscles tense and almost shaking as he filled the condom. 

Castiel slumped back into the bed, feeling boneless once he had finished, panting hard, sweat matting his hair to his forehead.

Dean took a moment to just breathe before he pulled out, removing the condom and tying it off. "Jeeze... That was... Awesome," he murmured.

"Yeah..." Castiel breathed in agreement, not removing his hands from Dean at all. "It was nice, to take things slow and just make love. We haven't done that for a while."

Dean nodded slowly. "Yeah... True. But we've been busy with work and stuff, so... But we'll have to do it a bit more often," he mumbled, shifting slightly to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel returned the kiss. "Agreed," he murmured, cuddling close to Dean, yawning slightly.

Dean chuckled softly. "It's not time for bed just yet, hon," he said softly, but didn't move at all.

"I know... I'm just tired. I came pretty hard," he murmured, nuzzling against Dean's chest.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close. "Mmh... Want me to make some coffee, then order some pizza? Or maybe I could cook something... Dunno what, though."

"Pizza sounds good... I'm feeling very lazy." Castiel murmured.

Dean bit his lip. "Yeah, okay... What pizza should I order?"

"No sardines, ham or pineapple. Other than that, order what you want." Castiel replied.

"Okay, no Hawaiian, no fish. Got it." Dean kissed Castiel, before slowly pulling away.

Castiel whined softly before he stretched out on the bed, not really wanting to move.

Dean smiled softly as he got out of bed. He threw the condom away, then fetched their post-sex towel to quickly wipe Castiel's come off their skin.

Castiel hummed happily as Dean cleaned his stomach. "I love you," he murmured, voice soft and tired.

Dean smiled wider, and leaned down to kiss Castiel on the lips. "I love you too. You can take a nap - I'll wake you up when the food's here, okay?"

"Mmkay..." Castiel yawned, and curled up on his side, not bothering to get under the covers.

Dean chuckled and shook his head, and pulled the covers over Castiel, not wanting him to freeze. "Sleep well," he said softly, then fixed his clothes before quietly exiting the room.

Castiel fell asleep quickly.

 

Sam let himself into the apartment about ten minutes later. "Home!" he called out, setting his schoolbag down on the floor next to Castiel's. 

"Ssssh!" Dean hushed from where he was sat on the couch. "Castiel's napping - and welcome home. How's your day been?"

"Sorry," Sam lowered his voice. "It was good. I have plenty of homework as usual, but I'm going to relax for a little before I get started."

Dean nodded. "All right, sounds good - and oh, we're eating pizza today, just so you know. "

"Is Cas okay?" Sam asked. "I know his first day was today, was everything all right, or...?"

Dean grinned. "He was in a good mood. I think it drained him, but it sounded like it was a great day. Met a lesbian couple that he ate lunch with, even."

Sam sighed in relief. "That's great. I was afraid we were ordering out because Cas had an attack or something."

"Nah. Today's a good day. A really good day." Dean smiled at Sam. "And maybe we'll have a lot more good days, now."

Sam smiled back. "I think we will. What kind of pizza did you order?"

"Extra cheese, chicken and mushrooms. Thick crust. Sound okay?"

"Sounds delicious." Sam stretched out on the couch. He had had a growth spurt, and shot up another three inches, bringing him to 6'4.

Dean watched his brother that wasn't so little anymore. "... Damnit, Sam. What the hell have you been fed? You're tall as a tree."

"I've been eating Cas' cooking, same as you," Sam chuckled. "I really, really hope I'm done growing."

"Yeah... Otherwise, you'll be going through the roof, next thing we know." Dean frowned. "... Do you have enough clothes that fit? Or do we have to get you some new ones?"

"I'm going to need some new jeans," Sam replied.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, okay. We'll look into that and get that fixed as soon as possible."

Sam nodded. "Sounds good. Thanks." he smiled.

Dean smiled in return. "You're welcome," he replied, and reached out to ruffle Sam's hair.

Sam tried to duck away. "Hey!" he laughed.

Castiel opened the door, having gotten dressed in one of Dean's shirts and a pair of sweats. He rubbed his eyes, still tired. "Hello, Sam." he greeted.

Dean smiled at the sight, and immediately stopped trying to mess with Sam's hair. Then he suddenly frowned. "We didn't wake you up, did we?"

"It's fine," Castiel yawned, going to the couch and sitting down in Dean's lap.

Sam chuckled. "So I hear you made some decent friends today."

Castiel smiled softly. "I think you'd really like them. Charlie was wearing an Evenstar necklace."

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him close, nuzzling his neck. "You'll have to introduce us at some point."

Castiel hummed and curled up in Dean's lap. "I'm sure you will." he murmured.

Their doorbell rang a few moments later, the pizza having arrived.

Dean groaned in protest, but carefully moved Castiel off his lap anyway, setting his fiancé down on the couch so he could answer the door and pay for the pizza. 

Castiel pouted softly, and just sat on the couch, yawning. "Smells good," he murmured when Dean brought the pizza in.

"It sure does. We gonna eat on the couch or in the kitchen?" Dean asked.

"Don't care," Castiel replied. 

"Couch it is," Sam decided, getting up to retrieve paper plates.

Dean carefully cleared the coffee table before setting down the pizza.

Castiel smiled up at Dean, pulling him in to give him a soft kiss. "Love you," he murmured, taking a plate when Sam came back with them and taking a slice, Sam taking three.

Dean smiled and kissed back, then grabbed two slices for himself and sat down.

Castiel prayed, and they ate. "Do you have to work tomorrow?" Castiel asked Dean.

Dean nodded, and swallowed before he replied. "Yeah, I do."

Castiel nodded. "Okay, I'll walk to class tomorrow then."

"You sure?" Dean asked, brows slightly furrowed.

Castiel nodded. "You need the car, and I'm still not comfortable enough driving her by myself. I'll be okay."

"All right, if you say so... But you better promise to call if anything happens."

"Of course I will," Castiel smiled, getting himself a second slice of pizza.

Dean smiled in return, then continued to focus on eating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I'm writing here to tell you guys that there's been a miss! I don't think any of you noticed, but the Hiatus message posted in early July should've been replaced with a chapter once Cinder got back from her birthday celebration travels - but it never happened until today! Fortunately, it's a chapter that I personally don't think have much weight to the story, but it is a nice, smutty chapter.  
> It's chapter 4, and you can read it here! (http://archiveofourown.org/works/4153557/chapters/9576294)
> 
> We apologise for the miss, but hope that you'll enjoy the chapter anyway!  
> Cheers, and see you Sunday(or Friday if you also follow our story "Life's a Bitch (Even when you're not one)"!
> 
> -Uke


	12. Why now and not back when I needed you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Chuck Shurley, Dean's boss, approaches Dean during work. He asks if it's possible that he could bring Castiel so they could meet again after all those years. Dean's not happy about it, and Castiel is even less happy, but he agrees to come with Dean to the garage to see Chuck.

The next day at Dean's job, Chuck approached Dean while he was working on a car. "Hey Dean? Can I talk with you a second?"

Dean furrowed his brows in confusion, not really sure what to expect. "Yeah... Sure," he said, and put away the tools before turning his full attention to Chuck.

"Your fiancé... What's his name?"

Dean froze. "... Uhm. Why do you need to know?"

Chuck sighed. "Because... A long time ago, I lived in Lawrence. And when you got hurt... I saw your emergency contact." He fidgeted. "Even though it was my job to call him when you were injured, I made Elkins do it. Because I couldn't bring myself to hear my son for the first time in years like that."

Dean took a deep breath, then stared blankly at Chuck. "... Yeah, Cas is my fiancé. So, why are you bringing this up now?" 

"Because I owe him an apology," Chuck replied. "I owe him an explanation. And I'm not afraid anymore."

"... Basically, you want /me/ to go talk to him, convince him to meet up with you, just so that you two can talk." Dean lifted a brow.

"It was better than just calling him. _"Oh hello Castiel, this is the father that abandoned you when you were four. Your fiancé works for me, wanna get lunch"_?" Chuck replied.

"Then how's it gonna look when the fiancé comes home and says _"hey, your dad felt it was too awkward to call, so he asked me to ask you if you wanna get lunch with him, even if he said that he wasn't scared of the idea of talking to you anymore"_?" Dean countered.

"I just don't feel like just calling him out of nowhere would be a good thing," Chuck replied. "He could just hang up on me."

"Knowing him, he probably would, but probably not for the reason you think." Dean crossed his arms. "So just what do you want me to do, since you can't call cause you're scared he'll hang up?"

Chuck sighed. "Can you ask him if he'll come to the garage one day?" he asked. 

"... I'm not gonna be tricking him into coming here, just so you know. I will tell him why I'm asking."

Chuck nodded. "I understand... What's he like, Dean?" he asked softly.

Dean's shoulders slumped slightly. He couldn't deny him an answer to that, even though he didn't really want to answer. "... He's amazing. Really smart, kind, but way too selfless."

Chuck nodded. "What does he look like? I know he has my eyes, and he had brown hair when he was little. Has that changed? Is he short, tall?"

"... Messy hair, dark brown. Got a light stubble. He's taller than you. 5'11", I think. So yeah, he's kinda tall - compared to most people."

Chuck nodded. "Thank you, Dean. I really owe you for this."

"You owe me nothing, boss. Cas is the one you owe," Dean mumbled.

Chuck nodded slowly. "I know," he murmured, before he left Dean alone.

Dean huffed when he got back to work, and did his best to not think about the man who'd just confirmed that he was his father-in-law. Although, it was hard to think of him as such since Chuck never had been a father to Castiel.

 

When he finally got out of work later that day, he was in a bad mood, and it took quite a bit of self restraint to not slam the apartment door shut. He didn't bother to call out that he was home either - which he always did just in case anyone happened to be home -, knowing that it would come out too harsh. He also had a headache, which didn't make things any better.

Castiel was in the kitchen, sitting at the table and intently sketching a coffee mug. He didn't hear the door close or Dean come in, headphones in as he listened to some classical music while he worked.

Dean went into the kitchen to get himself some water, and almost jumped out of his skin as he saw Castiel in the kitchen. Though the sight of his fiancé made his headache worse. He'd been thinking of Chuck and Castiel and his own very dead father all day, and he knew this... Thing, would become a huge mess. He decided to not disturb Castiel and got his glass of water, then left the kitchen.

Castiel didn't notice, too busy drawing and humming softly to the music. When he finished his sketch, he glanced at the clock and frowned slightly. Dean should have been home by now. He picked up his phone and dialed Dean's number, jumping when he could hear the other's ringtone go off in the other room. "Dean?" he called out.

Dean groaned in frustration at the sound of his ringtone, and was about to answer when he heard Castiel's voice. "... Yeah?" he called back.

"I didn't know you were home, I was getting worried." Castiel replied, making his way to the bedroom to greet Dean.

The bedroom was a bit dark, and Dean was laying on the bed. He squinted over at Castiel, and then put a folded t-shirt back over his eyes. "Yeah, sorry... Not in a good mood," he said. "Didn't wanna take it out on you."

Castiel frowned, making his way over to sit next to Dean, running his fingers through the sandy hair. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked softly.

"I wish..." Dean sighed quietly, but relaxed a little at the feeling. He pulled down the shirt again so he could look at his fiancé. "The boss - uh, Chuck, spoke to me today..."

"Is everything okay?" Castiel asked softly.

"Not really. It's not job-related, though, so that's... The one positive thing about it... He wants to meet you."

Castiel froze, his jaw clenching. "Why?" he asked softly, even though he could guess the answer.

"He saw that you were my emergency contact." Dean chuckled bitterly. "Now he wants to see his son, but thought it'd be awkward to call you since you might hang up..."

Castiel swallowed hard, his hands beginning to shake. "If he wanted to see me, why didn't he come when mom died?" he asked softly. "Why did he leave me to grieve by myself, to struggle by myself to live?" He stood up, shaking slightly. "I... I need to go on a walk," he murmured. "I'll have my phone."

Dean knew there was no way to talk to Castiel whenever he said he needed a walk. The best option was to let him out to walk it off. "Yeah. Okay. Be careful, and don't go punching things, no matter how big the urge is," he said softly.

Castiel nodded, and pulled on his sweater before he left.

 

When he came back, his eyes were red-rimmed. He had clearly been crying. "I'll go with you to the garage," he told Dean. "Sometime next week."

Dean had showered when Castiel was out, so he was warm and smelled of his favorite soap and shampoo when he pulled Castiel into a hug. "Okay. I'll be with you all the time," he murmured. 

Castiel tucked his face against Dean's neck, breathing in the comforting scent. "Thanks," he murmured, his arms wrapped tightly around the other.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head, and rubbed a hand over his back. "Let's go to bed early tonight, get a good rest."

"That sounds good," Castiel murmured softly. "And we still have leftover pizza, if Sam didn't eat it all..."

"I'll just make us some sandwiches if that's the case... That kid's still growing. Hopefully he's just putting some meat on those bones, now..."

Castiel cracked a soft smile. "Yeah... I feel stupidly short when I'm with you two, even though I know I'm tall..."

Dean chuckled. "I guess you'll just have to start wearing heels then, honey. But I like your height... It's perfect."

Castiel snorted. "Just because I bottom most of the time doesn't make me the wife," he teased softly. "I'd love to see your ass in heels though." he winked. "And I'm okay with it too... I fit in your arms perfectly."

Dean pouted. "Maybe my ass would look good, but it's not put to much use so it'd be pretty much a waste, and my legs would probably look terrible. I think I'd prefer to see you in heels. And you wouldn't be the wife. You'd be my pretty little husband in heels and an apron."

Castiel stuck his tongue out. "I love your legs," he gave Dean a kiss on the cheek, before he sighed and cuddled close again, needing the other close.

Dean hummed softly. "I love yours more," he mumbled, and hugged Castiel tighter. "I love _you_."

"I love you too," Castiel murmured, closing his eyes and letting himself be comforted by the strong arms around him.

Dean just held Castiel in his arms for a long while, but eventually he had to pull away. "C'mon, let's get something to eat."

Castiel nodded and followed Dean to the kitchen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is pretty short, but we hope that it'll last you to Wednesday when we'll post another chapter. Stay tuned for that!
> 
> Also, I want to make a small announcement - I will now be posting the chapters most of the time, so the time of day that the chapters goes up might change drastically as I'm 6 hours ahead of Cinder who used to post the chapters. Although, it really depends on when all the edits are done and the chapters are ready to post. This really isn't important I guess, but I thought it'd be fun for you guys to know.
> 
> Either way - I hope you're all doing well and that you had an awesome weekend! I also wish you an awesome start of the new week!  
> -Uke


	13. Relapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Castiel goes with Dean to work and meets his father. He confronts him and he lets out his anger on the man, telling him all about how horrible his childhood had been and about his suicide attempts and blaming it all on Chuck, and then he and Dean leaves after he declares that he wants nothing to do with his father. In the car though, Castiel experiences flashbacks and one move from Dean sends him into fullblown panic and throws a punch, which makes Dean react in a way he hadn't before. After realizing what happened, Castiel flees the car and ends up in an alley where he cuts himself with dirty, broken pieces of glass. Dean eventually finds him and brings him home, and does everything that Castiel asks of him.
> 
>  **CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Panic attack, violence, description of self harm, mentions of previous suicide attempts, suicidal feelings, characters being triggered.

The next week came, and Castiel slid into the Impala with Dean to go to his work. He was quieter than usual, lost in thought.

Dean focused on the radio instead of the silence while he drove, and didn't really say anything either until they arrived. He parked the car, and turned to his fiancé. "We're here," he said.

Castiel nodded, and swallowed hard. His hands were shaking, and his entire body was trembling.

Dean took one of Castiel's hands into his own, and squeezed it gently. "Hey... I'm gonna be with you the whole time."

Castiel nodded, and squeezed Dean's hand gently. "I just… I'm not sure what I'm feeling." he whispered.

"It's okay, Cas... You'll figure it out," Dean replied, and gently kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel nodded, and swallowed again before they got out of the car. Castiel took Dean's hand again once they were out, his eyes looking over every man they could see, wondering which one was his father.

Dean greeted his fellow co-workers as they passed them by, while he lead Castiel to where Chuck would usually be at at that time of the day - in the office. His heart was beating quickly as he knocked on the door.

"Come in!" Chuck called out. Castiel's grip on Dean's hand tightened.

When they walked in, Chuck's eyes slid over to Castiel's, and the two bright blue pairs met.  
There was silence for a moment, as they looked over each other.

Finally, Chuck spoke. "Castiel..."

Castiel let go of Dean's hand, and walked quickly towards Chuck's desk, punching him in the face. Dean's eyes went comically wide, and he visibly cringed as he turned to make sure that the door was closed.

Chuck took the punch. He didn't try to move away or protest. "I deserved that." he murmured.

"You deserve so much more than that!" Castiel yelled, clearly furious. "Why? Why did you do it? Why did you leave, leave me alone when I lost my mother?"

"You were better off without me, Castiel. Before I had this shop, I had absolutely nothing but a half written story-" Chuck was cut off as Castiel yanked his sleeve up, exposing his forearms and the two heavy, vertical scars from his first suicide attempt.

"I was better off?" Castiel replied. " _Better off?_ You were one of the many reasons for these scars. Because I spent my _life_ believing that I was never good enough. And that all started because I felt like I wasn't good enough for _you._ "

Dean just stood quietly by the door, and watched his fiancé and his boss. He was frowning deeply, not liking to see Castiel this angry, but he also felt a sense of pride in how Castiel stood up for himself.

Chuck was speechless, his eyes on Castiel's mutilated forearms.

"And these are just the surface," Castiel hissed, lowering his sleeves. "My entire body is like that. I'm more scar tissue than not, I have so many mental health problems, and it all stems from my father _abandoning me_." Castiel lashed out again, punching Chuck in the face once more, which again, Chuck took without protest.

Dean pushed himself away from the door, and carefully approached his angry fiancé to place a gentle hand on his shoulder, but didn't say anything.

Castiel was trembling under Dean's hand, so upset. "Fuck you." his voice cracked.

"Castiel, you've said your piece. I've listened. Will you listen to me now?" Chuck asked quietly, grabbing a napkin to stop the nosebleed Castiel had given him.

Dean gently squeezed Castiel's shoulder as he leaned forward slightly to look his fiancé in the eye. "You okay?"

Castiel shook his head in response to Dean's question before he looked at Chuck. "Fine." he replied, tone harsh.

Chuck sighed. "I left because I was afraid. I was afraid that I would be a horrible father, that I would somehow fuck you up. But I...I see now, that by leaving, I ensured it." Chuck sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Do you remember breaking your arm when you were little?" he asked.

Castiel replied with a curt nod.

"When that happened, it was my fault. I should have been watching you play, but I was busy writing. The next thing I knew, you were screaming and falling from a tree, and then you broke your arm. Your mother was furious, and we got into a huge fight that night. She told me I wasn't fit to be a parent. So I left."

"And when she died? Why didn't you come claim me? Why did you let me suffer and work my way to independence so I wouldn't be placed in foster care?" Castiel bit back.

Dean had to clench his jaws and and glance at the floor to keep his own calm.

"I was a coward." Chuck replied. "I believed you were better off without me."

Castiel was quiet for a few moments. "Four times. Four times, and all because you were a coward."

"Four times for what?" Chuck asked quietly.

"Four times I attempted suicide. I slit my wrists twice, swallowed a bottle of pills, and tried to jump off a ten story building. All of these happened after Mom died. All because you were a coward." He was trembling. He had never even told Dean how he had attempted, even though Dean knew he had tried.

Dean stopped breathing for a moment and he looked at Castiel, bile rising in his throat. It hurt so bad to hear Castiel say that.

Castiel was shaking badly.

Chuck's eyes were wide with shock. "Castiel, I'm so sorry-"

"Save it." Castiel cut him off. "I'm grateful they didn't work. That I never succeeded. Because now I have a family who cares about me, for me. They take care of me when I'm frozen with fear, that saved me from the criminals that _raped_ and tried to _kill_ me. You are _not_ my family."

Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders and pulled him close.

Chuck opened his mouth to speak again, but Castiel cut him off.

"I don't want to see you again." he said through a tear choked voice, on the verge of breaking down. "And if you fire, or otherwise harass Dean for any of this, I _will_ sue."

Chuck was quiet, before he nodded, face pained. "All right, Cast-"

"Don't ever say my name again." Castiel hissed, his voice cracking even more. "You don't deserve to."

Dean looked between Castiel and Chuck, his eyes finally settling on his boss. "... I want to take the day off, to take care of my fiancé. Is that okay?"

Chuck nodded, his eyes still on Castiel, who had turned away from Chuck, burying his face into Dean's shoulder. "That's fine."

"All right. Thank you, Mr. Shurley. See you tomorrow," Dean said without any feeling to it. "Let's go, honey," he whispered to Castiel, and then walked out of the office, his arm wrapped tight around his fiancé.

The moment they were sitting in the Impala, Castiel broke down into sobs, his body wracked with full-body convulsions. Dean wrapped both of his arms around Castiel and held him tightly. Castiel clung to Dean, just crying, unable to speak. After a few minutes, he began to hyperventilate.

"Ssh... Ssh, I'm here, it's all gonna be okay," Dean said softly, then started to hum softly to the tune of 'Carry On My Wayward Son'.

Castiel adjusted his breathing to Dean's, trying to match his pace, the humming slowly comforting him. "Fuck..." he cursed. "Fuck him...fuck him.... He's a coward."

"And you are so brave, Cas... I'm so proud of you," Dean replied, and kissed the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's neck, curling up as close as he could. "I hate him, for what he did to me." he whimpered.

"He can't do anything to you anymore. You won't ever have to see him again," Dean murmured, rubbing Castiel's back.

Castiel nodded, gasping softly as he cried, his body still shaking. "And I hurt you today… I'm so sorry...."

"Don't apologize for that, Castiel... That was in the past. All that matters is that you're here now, with me," Dean said softly.

Castiel nodded, his hands grasping desperately at Dean's work shirt. "I'm glad they never worked. That I-I found you. That you lov-ved me too..."

"So am I... Gosh. I love you, Castiel. I'm so lucky to have you..." Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head, again.

Castiel couldn't bring himself to let go of Dean. He was reliving too many memories, triggered one after the other, and even though he tried to keep his head then and there, he was dragged back to his attempts, the rape, the fight right before he was almost killed, and how he hadn't said goodbye to Dean before he left. He let out a low keening sound, his body shaking harder.

Dean felt his panic rise. This was starting to become one of the worst breakdowns Castiel has had while with him. He moved his hands to gently grab Castiel's face, and made his fiancé look at him. "Ssh, ssh... I'm here, everything's gonna be okay. You're safe. And _I'm_ safe, too."

Castiel's eyes were unfocused, his head clearly somewhere else. It had been a long time since he had been triggered this badly, and he let out a scream.

Dean flinched, and he stared at Castiel with wide, scared eyes. "Cas... C'mon, man. Come back to me. Please."

Castiel was shaking, and he was trying, trying so hard, but he couldn't get out of that headspace, out of the flashbacks. He wasn't strong enough right now, and that scared him. He screamed again as he relived Alistair getting ready to take Dean. "Dean!"

Dean didn't know what to do. It had never been this bad, and he was scared. He smacked Castiel gently on the cheek, not enough to hurt but hopefully enough to get him out of his own mind. "Cas, Cas, c'mon... Wake up. Come back to me. I'm here. I'm okay. You're okay. Please... Please, Cas, I beg you..."

Castiel lashed out as Dean smacked his cheek, tearing himself away with a punch to Dean's stomach, shaking hard as he was pulled back into high school, of the countless beatings he had received. He was struggling, trying to find his way back, but it was overwhelming.

Dean got the breath knocked out of him, and he was wheezing and coughing hard as he scooted away from Castiel, pressing himself up against the door. Castiel had never hit him like that - only ever punched him gently on the shoulder when he was being silly. This though, it scared him, reminded him too much of the past and he felt his own hands starting to shake as his body grew cold.

Hearing Dean gasping for air finally pulled Castiel enough out of it that he could push the memories down. He could still feel traces of them, but they weren't at the forefront of his attention anymore. He was breathing hard, shaking breaths, eyes focused on Dean now. "Dean..." he broke into fresh sobs, knowing that he had done this, had brought the fear to Dean's eyes, and knew that for some reason, he was the reason that Dean was shaking and pressing away from him.

Dean shook his head, then rubbed his hands over his face, his breathing irregular. "I'm fine... Just fine. I-it's fine." He swallowed thickly and dropped his hands to his lap, to dig his fingers into his thighs. "You... You out of it now...?" 

Castiel nodded. "I fucked up, I fucked up so badly and I'm so sorry..." he whimpered, pain written across his face.

"No... No, it's okay. You didn't mean to. You were out of it. It's fine. I'm not mad," Dean said softly.

"What did I do?" Castiel asked. "I… I don't know what I did to make you so scared..."

"I was... I was scared for you... You were out of it. Didn't respond to anything," Dean said.

Castiel swallowed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." he whimpered, moving close to Dean again.

Dean flinched but there was nowhere to go, so he stayed where he was, fingers digging so hard into his thighs that it hurt. He knew it was Castiel, and he shouldn’t be reacting like that, but something about the whole situation was messing with him.

Castiel froze when he saw Dean's discomfort, and he suddenly felt cramped, and guilty as all hell. He turned and let himself out of the car before he just started running, not knowing where he was going.

Dean panicked as he saw Castiel dash. It was his fault that Castiel ran. He fumbled to get the door open, and he actually fell out of the car in the hurry to get out. He quickly stumbled to his feet and looked around, but Castiel was already too far away. He called for his fiancé, but when he got no reply, his shoulders slumped.

Castiel was half out of his mind as he just ran, and eventually he collapsed behind a low wall facing into an alley. There was shard of broken glass nearby, and he didn't even think. He grabbed one and rolled up his sleeve before he sliced into his arm, over and over again, watching the blood well up and spill over the pale skin.

Dean got back into the Impala and started to drive around, keeping a quite slow pace while he looked for Castiel. His hands were shaking even as he gripped the wheel so hard it turned his knuckles white, and he just got more and more stressed as time passed and he saw no sign of his fiancé.

Castiel switched hands and started to cut into his other arm, until he lay there, slumped against the wall for an hour. The blood slowly clotted and dried, and when it did, he fumbled for his phone and turned on the GPS before calling Dean.

It took a moment for Dean to grab his phone since his hands were shaky, but he quickly answered the call when he saw who it was. "Castiel! Where the fuck are you?"

"I don't know." Castiel's voice was hoarse from crying. "I turned on my GPS. I'm in an alley somewhere."

"... Cas, that's not a safe place to be. You gotta go to a main street or something..." Dean chewed on his lip.

"... I can’t or someone will call 911." Castiel replied.

"Cas, what did you do?" Dean asked, voice quiet.

"... I relapsed. Bad," Castiel admitted softly. "Both arms,"

"... I'll see if I'm able to track your phone. If not, I'll call you again. If anyone dangerous approaches you, you run to a place where there's people. Otherwise, stay where you are."

"All right. I'm so sorry," Castiel murmured before hanging up.

Dean sent a text Sam's way to warn him that it was a fucking shitty excuse of a day and that he shouldn't be surprised about the bad mood, then went on to track Castiel's phone and drive to the location his phone said that Castiel was at. 

Castiel stood shakily when he heard the familiar rumble of the Impala, dried blood covering his hands. He couldn't make eye contact with Dean as he got into the car, feeling wretched and like he had failed everyone.

Dean quietly watched Castiel, and tried his best to ignore the blood, but it was hard when it stood out on Castiel's pale skin. He swallowed down the bile that threatened to come up, and he turned his full focus on the road as he drove them both home.

Castiel was silent almost the entire drive home. "I'm sorry. I'm a complete waste of a person." he whispered. "You were so proud of me, and then I failed you the same way I failed everyone else. I'm just as much of a coward as my father."

Dean gritted his teeth. "I wear your ring for a reason. One shitty day ain't going to change that."

Castiel closed his eyes, a few tears running down his cheeks. "That doesn’t mean I didn't see the disappointment on your face," he whispered. "That doesn't change the fact that I made you so scared of me that you flinched when I came close."

Dean was quiet, then his shoulders slowly lowered. "The only reason I'm disappointed is that you've hurt yourself. I couldn't care less if you hurt me, but when you hurt yourself..." He chewed on his lip.

Castiel felt something click, and he suddenly could remember a little. He had punched Dean, had hurt him. "Oh God..." he whispered, looking appalled at himself. "I did hurt you. I punched you..."

"It's fine," Dean said quickly. "It really is. You just took me by surprise. You shouldn't worry about it."

"It's why you were scared." Castiel's voice cracked, as he stared out the windshield, eyes unfocused as he lost himself again.

"I said it's fine," Dean said firmly, and didn't say anything else while he drove the last bit home and parked the car.

Once they were parked, Castiel got out of the car, tugging his sleeves down to try to hide the blood until he could take a shower and wash it off. Dean locked the car, then walked behind Castiel to their apartment and let them both inside. Castiel was quiet as they walked inside, Sam staying in his room to let the couple have time. 

Once they were inside, Castiel whispered. "I need to take a shower, but I don't trust myself alone right now." for the first time since that day at the bleachers, he was feeling suicidal.

Dean looked at his fiancé, his heart feeling much too heavy and he couldn't do much but to slowly nod. "Okay," he said quietly, and put a hand on Castiel's back as they went to the bathroom.

Castiel leaned into the touch, shaking slightly as they got into the bathroom and closed the door. He started the shower and then stripped, revealing the damage to his arms. There were sixteen new cuts, eight on each arm. Castiel couldn't look Dean in the face and he got the first aid kit out, starting to treat himself.

Dean leaned against the locked door, feeling his stomach twist and turn painfully, and he felt so cold when he looked at Castiel's arms. He wanted to do something, but knew that Castiel could take care of himself, so he stayed put.

Once Castiel had treated them, he stepped into the shower, taking the razor blades in there out and throwing them in the trash can. He couldn't deal with that right now. He slowly washed his arms clean of the blood and his face of the tears and sweat, feeling lower than he had in quite a long time.

Dean sat down on the toilet, feeling a bit too pale and unsure on his legs to stand up any longer. He quietly looked towards the shower, not knowing what to say. What to think.

Castiel got out of the shower after about fifteen minutes, wrapping the fluffiest towel they owned around himself. He reached for the kit again, and bandaged up his arms.  
Once he finished, he took a deep breath, and let it out, starting into the mirror with a blank expression. "Dean… I need you. And I don't deserve to ask anything more of you, not after I hurt you like that, but God… I need you." his voice cracked at the end. "I want to end it. And I'm scared, because I haven't felt like this since we met."

Dean bit into his lip as he listened to Castiel speak, and his heart felt like it was slowly breaking. Like something was tearing it apart. He slowly got to his feet, and moved to stand behind Castiel, carefully putting his hands on his fiancé's hips. "... How do you need me?" he asked softly, even if all he wanted to do was shy away, pretend that nothing of this was happening.

Castiel leaned into the touch, his eyes making contact with Dean's through the mirror, and the blue pair were filled with pain and fear. "I need you to hold me. To touch me. To remind me that life is worth living." a few tears trailed down his cheeks.

Dean had to look down, not able to look Castiel straight into the eyes for too long. It hurt too much. "Okay," he whispered, and started to slowly run his hands up and down Castiel's sides, and press slow, gently kisses to the back of his neck and shoulders.

Castiel's muscles were rock hard, they were so tense, but as Dean touched him, kissed him, they slowly started to relax. His eyes closed as he cried softly, letting himself be washed over with the feeling of Dean's lips and hands, the man who wouldn't leave him no matter what, his fiancé, the love of his life. Even though Castiel had hurt him so badly today, this man was still there when Castiel needed him the most.

Dean ran his hands over Castiel's stomach and hips, and removed the towel from Castiel's body. He let it fall to the floor as he pressed up against Castiel's back. He touched his fiancé all over - his chest and ribs, his shoulders and upper arms, his sides and stomach, hips and all over his thighs. It was hard, it hurt so bad, but he tried not to think of it. Only thought of where to touch Castiel next, where to press the next kiss.

Castiel was trembling in Dean's arms as he was touched, reminded of how much he meant to Dean. "I love you..." he whispered. "I love you so much, so much...and I'm so sorry for everything I'm putting you through. I'm hurting you, yet you're still here....you're still here..."

"I love you too..." Dean said against the skin of Castiel's neck, his voice strained and weak.

Castiel's eyes closed. "Can we go to bed?" he asked softly.

Dean nodded slightly. "Okay..." He let go of Castiel to pick up the towel, and wrapped it around Castiel's shoulders.

Castiel walked with Dean to their bed, and didn't bother to get dressed, just dropped the towel and slid into bed, facing Dean's side and curled up. Dean carefully got onto the bed and laid down on his side, and wrapped his arms around Castiel to pull him close.

Castiel curled up close, burying his face into Dean's neck and just breathing him in, letting himself be comforted by Dean's presence. "I don't deserve you..." he whispered softly.

Dean didn't trust himself to say anything, knowing that his voice would crack and that he might burst. So he just pulled Castiel even closer, pressing their bodies together, and ignored the pain from the bruise on his stomach.

Castiel tangled their legs together as they pressed closer, burying his face into Dean's chest and just crying. After a while, his sobs died down, and he was asleep, having cried himself to sleep.

Dean couldn't make himself move from the bed, so he stayed, keeping his arms wrapped around Castiel. He didn't dare to leave Castiel alone. Closing his eyes, he tried to get some rest himself.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  After a few days of laying in bed and recovering from his relapse, Castiel is able to get out of bed and manage to at least do something. Dean's been on his toes, worried about his fiancé and losing sleep because of it. Castiel decides it's his turn to take care of Dean to the best of his ability at that point in time. He makes tomato soup and grilled cheese which they eat when Dean gets back from work, and then they watch a movie until it's time to go to bed. They sleep well until the early morning when Dean wakes up from a really bad nightmare, and Castiel ends up singing him to sleep.
> 
>  **CONTENT WARNING**  
>  Very, very brief mention of self harm and attempted suicide.

It took a few days for Castiel to become semi-functional again. The next day, he had remained in bed, not wanting to get up. After that, he slowly made more and more steps to function again, the suicidal feeling fading.

When Dean got home from work one afternoon, Castiel had freshly made grilled cheese and tomato soup waiting for him, an apologetic look on his face.

Dean blinked slowly as he saw Castiel, and the food that he'd made. "... What's this all about?" he asked. He was tired, not having slept properly since that terrible day, too afraid that he'd wake up one morning and Castiel would be gone.

Castiel looked down. "An apology," he murmured. "Because I've put you through so much these past few days. I scared you, made you angry, and then basically made you become loving and tender when all you wanted to do was hit something. I asked so much of you, and you gave it all to me, and I'm so sorry for what I've put you through." He still felt so guilty over that day, over having lost it completely and hurting both himself and his fiancé. He would do whatever he could to make up for the pain he had caused them both.

Dean blinked again, then sighed softly. "Really, Cas. It's fine. It's my responsibility to take care of you, and I'll gladly do it, no matter what. You don't need to apologize for it," he said, and moved closer to kiss Castiel's cheek.

Castiel looked up at Dean, before leaning up to kiss his lips. "Regardless, I want to take care of you now," he murmured.

"... You know that you don't have to, right?" Dean asked, and studied Castiel's face for a moment.

"I know. But you deserve a nice meal, and there's no harm in making your favourite." He smiled softly.

Dean scratched the side of his neck. "I guess you're right..."

Castiel kissed him again. "Go change your clothes, and then meet me in the kitchen," he murmured. His arms were still bandaged, the cuts having gotten infected from the glass shard he had used.

Dean nodded and kissed back gently. "Okay," he said, and went to their bedroom to change into a t-shirt and a pair of sweats. He washed his face and hands in the bathroom before going to the kitchen.

Castiel had set places for both of them. Sam was at his friend's house, and wouldn't be home that night. He gave Dean a soft smile.

Dean smiled back lightly, and took a seat by the table. "It's been a while since we ate this," he murmured.

"Yes, it has been, your birthday I believe." He smiled softly.

"Yeah... That's a long time ago. Thankfully," Dean said. It had been one of the worst time periods in his life. The rape, the guilt, the breakdown... He frowned at the memories.

Castiel nodded. "Let's eat," he murmured, closing his eyes as he prayed.

Dean waited until Castiel had finished praying, before he started to eat.

Castiel smiled and ate his own food, happier than he had been for a while.

Dean watched Castiel, and couldn't help but smile too. It was good to see Castiel happy.

When Castiel had finished, he leaned over and rest his head against Dean's shoulder.

Dean took a bit longer to finish, feeling too tired to eat in his usual pace. When he had finished, he let out a satisfied sigh. "Thanks, Cas. That was great."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." he murmured back, pressing a gentle kiss to Dean's neck. "Is there anything you particularly want to do?"

"Not that I can think of, no..." Dean mumbled.

"Watch a movie? Sleep?" Castiel replied.

"Mmh... I guess watching a movie wouldn't be too bad," Dean said, and wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders.

Castiel hummed, leaning into the touch. "I'll set it up. What would you like to watch?"

"Batman, of course," Dean answered. "Batman's awesome." 

Castiel laughed. "And why did I think any different?" he teased, leaning unto kiss Dean's cheek affectionately before he stood to clear the table and then set up the movie.

"It's always Dr Sexy or Batman, so yeah, I wonder why, too," Dean teased back as he dragged himself over to the couch and flopped down on it.

Castiel sat on the couch when the movie was ready, stretching out and cuddling into Dean's arms as he hit the play button.

Dean relaxed back on the couch and held his arms around Castiel, eyes focused on the tv as the movie started. Though, it didn't take long until his eyes were drooping.

Castiel was focused on the movie, his head laying on top of Deans chest, not noticing.

Dean's eyes closed and his head fell slightly to the side as he nodded off, but jerked awake as soon as his arms started slipping away from Castiel. He tightened his hold around his fiancé with a soft sigh. 

"Hmm?" Castiel hummed, looking up at Dean, a questioning look on his face.

Dean shook his head. "Nothin'... It's nothin'," he mumbled

"Let's go to bed, you're falling asleep," Castiel murmured, carefully getting up and offering Dean his hand.

Dean sighed and rubbed his eyes. He took Castiel's hand in his, but didn't let Castiel help him up - doing the work himself and just gently holding the other's hand.

Castiel laced their fingers together as they walked to their bedroom, only letting to to dip into the bathroom to change his bandages, before stripping down and joining Dean in bed, curling close.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and tangled their legs together, hugging Castiel close and almost clinging to him like an octopus, like he'd done the last couple of nights.

Castiel didn't mind the clinginess and knew why Dean held him so tightly. He gently took Dean's hand and placed it over his chest, so Dean could feel his heart beating under his skin. 

Dean let out a soft noise at that, his hold relaxing slightly. "Cas... I love you," he murmured sleepily.

Castiel laced their fingers together over his heart. "I love you too, Dean," he murmured, kissing Dean's collarbone. "And this beats for you, because of you."

Dean huffed softly and buried his nose into Castiel's hair, and took a deep breath, inhaling Castiel's scent. It was comforting, along with the feeling of Castiel's warmth.

Castiel shifted slightly, so his head was resting on Dean's pillow and his face was buried in his fiancé's chest. "I love you. I love you so much," he whispered, squeezing Dean's hand gently. "It's been nearly a year, and I've had the privilege of sleeping by your side almost every single night. How many couples can say that, who are truly in love?"

Dean squeezed back weakly, too tired to do much else. "Mmh... Not a lot, I bet," he answered. "A year... Feels like a lot longer."

"That it does," Castiel murmured. "Sleep, love. I'll be here when you wake."

"You better. Don't know what I would do if you're not..." Dean whispered, drifting off into sleep even as he was speaking.

"I could never leave you alone like that," Castiel whispered in response, even though he knew Dean was already asleep. He cuddled close and closed his own eyes, joining Dean in sleep not much longer later.

Dean was tired enough to sleep through a good part of the night, though he woke up with a gasp in the early morning, heart hammering in his chest as he sat up in the bed. He gently patted at the spot beside him with shaky hands, and sighed relief as he felt Castiel. Then he carefully got out of bed, and stumbled to the bathroom to splash his face with cold water.

Castiel was woken when Dean grasped at his shoulder, and sat up, yawning sleepily as he watched Dean splash his face. "Nightmare?" he asked softly, opening his arms when Dean came back to bed.

Dean nodded as he got back into bed, and shivered as he wrapped his arms around Castiel's middle. "Bad... Bad one."

Castiel ran his fingers through the back of Dean's hair, holding his hand there in a comforting gesture. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked softly.

Dean shook his head, and was clearly straining to keep his breath even. "No... Too bad," he said, and swallowed.

"All right," Castiel nodded, gently rocking them back and forth as he started to sing "Hey Jude," although he didn't hit all the notes as usual, his voice still hoarse with sleep.

Dean sniffed softly and closed his eyes as he heard Castiel sing, and let himself be comforted by the sleep filled voice of his fiancé.

Castiel cradled Dean close, and when the song was finished, he murmured "I love you, Dean. I'm yours, until the end of our lives, I'm yours. And I will never leave you. I know I terrified you a few days ago, I know I was suicidal. But I was never going to act on it, because of you. I meant what I said, at the garage. I'm glad I never succeeded, and I will never try again, because I have you, and Sam, and Bobby and Jess and Charlie and Dorothy. I have a family. I can't suddenly be better, I can't turn off my depression at the flick of a switch. But I've learned to cope differently. Yes, I relapsed. But I'm trying so hard to be a better person for you."

Dean listened to Castiel's words, and nodded slowly. "I know, I know... I'm so sorry," he said, voice cracking. He was sorry for being so weak, so scared - of things he didn't even know if it'd ever happen. Especially now. He was supposed to be strong for Castiel.

"You have _nothing_ to apologize for," Castiel whispered. "You're scared, and rightfully so. And I'm so sorry that I'm the reason for this."

Dean buried his face into Castiel's neck and snuffled, and held him as tightly as he dared. "It's okay... It's fine."

Castiel held Dean tightly in return. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you so much." He started to sing again, Carry On My Wayward Son this time.

Dean finally relaxed completely, a lone tear falling down his cheek. He was still upset, but so exhausted, that it didn't take long until he was lulled back to sleep.

Castiel gently brushed the tear away with his thumb, holding Dean close as the other slept against him, knowing that he wasn't going to go back to sleep tonight. Instead, he held Dean and watched over him.

Dean snuffled softly in his sleep every now and then, but it was by far the most peaceful sleep he'd gotten in days.


	15. Furballs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Dean and Castiel wake up and they're both feeling pretty good, and they start their morning with some really good morning sex. After the round of sex that leaves them satisfied and in a good mood, they decide to do what they have only been briefly talking about - they go to a cat shelter and look at kittens.  
> When Sam comes home, he's greeted with a warm, soft little ball of fur. Times two!
> 
>  **KINKS**  
>  Rimming, 69 position.

When Dean woke up a couple of hours later, he yawned softly and cuddled up to Castiel.

"Good morning," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean's forehead, his fingers playing with the sandy hair.

"Mornin'," Dean replied, voice filled with sleep and he wasn't willing to open his eyes just yet.

Castiel didn't mind, and just covered Dean's face with sweet, gentle kisses.

Dean eventually opened his eyes, and smiled softly at Castiel.

Castiel smiled softly in return, before gently kissing Dean's lips.

Dean kissed back just as gently. "How long have you been awake...?"

"Since you woke me up earlier. I don't mind though, I got plenty of sleep." Castiel murmured, his hand gently caressing Dean's side under his t-shirt.

Dean frowned, but nodded slowly. "Okay. If you say so, Cas," he said, and gently kissed Castiel again.

Castiel gently took Dean's lower lip in between his teeth, sucking and nipping at it before letting it go to kiss him again.

Dean sighed softly at the feeling. He closed his eyes and deepened the kiss, then reached up to run a hand through Castiel's messy hair.

Castiel shivered slightly at the feeling, and parted his lips to submit, letting Dean do as he pleased. 

Dean slipped his tongue into Castiel's mouth and moaned softly. He put his leg over Castiel's hip, and urged him to get even closer.

Castiel coaxed Dean until the other was over him as they kissed, wrapping his arms around Dean and pressing their bodies together, feeling the hard line of Dean's erection pressing against his hip, and his own pressing against Dean's.

Dean started to roll his hips against Castiel's, shuddering at how good it felt, how they were pressed together. For the first time since before the relapse, he actually had the energy to do this.

Castiel shuddered as well, letting out a soft moan into Dean's mouth. His grip on Dean's shirt tightened before he slipped his hands underneath, slowly pulling it up and off. 

Dean broke the kiss for a moment to remove his shirt, then dipped back down to kiss Castiel again. "I love you," he murmured against Castiel's lips, and ran his hands up and down Castiel's sides.

"I love you," Castiel breathed back, his muscles trembling under Dean's touch. He spread his legs before hooking them around Dean's waist, letting out a shuddering breath as their erections pressed together.

Dean started moving his hips again, grinding their clothed erections against each other. "Ugh... Feel so good against me, Cas," he whispered as he caressed Castiel's thighs.

Castiel moaned softly. "You feel perfect," he whispered, kissing Dean again, deeply and passionately.

Dean kissed back and snaked his arms under and around Castiel's middle, to hold him close while they pressed against each other and grinded together.

Castiel shuddered and gasped. "Dean… Need you… I need you," he slurred, drunk on arousal. "Need your mouth, hand, something..."’

"Oh... Okay," Dean said breathily, and kissed Castiel's cheek and jaw as he unwrapped his arms from the other. He unhooked Castiel's legs from his waist, and slid down to lay on his stomach between Castiel's legs. 

Castiel spread his legs, his hands running through Dean's hair, making it even messier than it was before, from bedhead.

Dean nuzzled his face into Castiel's crotch and mouthed at his still covered erection, before pulling his underwear down enough to expose the hard flesh.

Castiel let out soft noises, his erection heavy, and a little bit of precome escaping as Dean pulled his boxers down.

Dean didn't waste any time with teasing kisses, and wrapped his fingers around the hard length before lapping up the precome, then licked at and swirled his tongue around the head.

Castiel groaned, his eyes shut and his face filled with pleasure. "Dean..." he breathed the other's name.

Dean hummed as he wrapped his lips around the head of Castiel's erection, sucking on it while he stroked the rest with his hand.

Castiel shuddered, his thighs trembling before he gently pulled Dean off, sitting up while breathing heavily, pulled Dean up to kiss him. "Get over me," he whispered, trying to coax Dean into a 69.

Dean was a bit hesitant to along with it, but did end up removing his sweats and underwear before carefully getting into position above Castiel.

Castiel stroked his hands over Dean's thighs and ass, before leaning up to run his tongue over Dean's entrance.

Dean let out a surprised noise, then shuddered. "Fuck," he mumbled, before dipping his head down to wrap his lips around the head of Castiel's erection again.

Castiel groaned, and continued running his tongue over Dean's entrance, his fingers coming up to press into Dean's perineum. 

Dean gradually lowered his mouth on Castiel's shaft, and moaned around it, stroking the rest with his hand. He used his free hand to cup and fondle Castiel's balls. 

Castiel moaned, and continued to eat Dean out while one hand moved to stroke Dean's erection, the other cupping Dean's balls and tugging lightly on them.

Dean's moans and gasps were muffled by Castiel's erection, and he started to slowly bob his head up and down, not caring that he was a bit messy. 

Castiel moaned, slowly pressing his tongue inside of Dean while his hips pressed up a little into Dean's mouth.

Dean shuddered again, and took more of Castiel's length into his mouth, sucking and swallowing hard around it.

Castiel shuddered, and cried out as his balls drew up, and he came into Dean's mouth.

Dean closed his eyes as he sucked and swallowed every drop out of Castiel, only pulling his mouth off when he knew Castiel had finished coming, and panted softly. Precome was dripping from his own erection.

Castiel was trembling, but he adjusted and pulled his mouth away from Dean's entrance to take him as deeply as he could go in one thrust, sucking on Dean's erection.

Dean gasped, and it took everything he had to not thrust into Castiel's mouth. He shuddered and clawed at the sheets as he hung his head. "Fuck, fuck, I'm gonna come-" he groaned as quietly as he could, then bit into his lip hard to muffle a cry as he spilled into Castiel's mouth.

Castiel swallowed as much as he could, but a good amount ended up on his chin and chest. He sucked Dean dry before he let him go with a pop, tongue darting out to lick the semen off of Dean's softening cock.

Dean pressed his face against Castiel's thigh, and shivered at the attention that his sensitive cock recieved. When Castiel was done cleaning him up, he slowly and carefully got off his fiancé and turned himself around, before flopping down on the bed.

Castiel wanted to cuddle, but didn't want to turn over. He had a decent amount of semen on his neck, and he reached up with a finger to start cleaning it off, sucking it into his mouth.

Dean settled to just watch his fiancé clean himself up, while gently chewing on his lip. "... So you don't mind rimming, huh?" he asked, and scooted closer to kiss and nip at Castiel's ear.

Castiel shuddered softly. "I don't...you enjoy it so much." he whispered.

"You do know that you don't have to do it if you don't like it though, yeah?" Dean murmured, just wanting to make sure.

"I know. But I do enjoy it," he murmured. "Because you come so undone when I do, you make the most arousing noises."

Dean's smiled softly, even as his cheeks turned red. He kissed Castiel on the cheek. "I love you."

Castiel smiled, and found Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together. "And I love you." he smiled. There were still traces of semen on his chin and neck.

 

Dean gently squeezed Castiel's hand, and shifted slightly so he could lick the semen off Castiel's skin.

Castiel shuddered At the feeling. "You know what we should do today?" he murmured softly once Dean was finished.

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek. "Mmh... Absolutely no clue. What have you got in mind?"

"We should go to the animal shelter, see if we can find a kitten." he murmured.

Dean blinked, then grinned widely. He hadn’t expected that, but it was a good idea. "That's a great idea, Cas."

Castiel smiled up at him, and kissed his lips softly. "I'll make breakfast, what do you feel like?"

"Let's just make toast or something else that's quick. I wanna head out as soon as we can," Dean said, then kissed back.

Castiel chuckled at Dean's enthusiasm. "Let me get dressed, and I'll make sliced hot dogs and toast," he told the other, getting out of bed and going to the closet.

"Mmh, you're the best," Dean replied with a big smile, and rolled onto his back to stretch on the bed.

"I try," Castiel replied cheekily, getting dressed before he went to the kitchen to prepare the aforementioned food.

Dean chuckled as he got off the bed, and stretched again before getting dressed himself, then went to join Castiel in the kitchen.

Castiel was humming as he fried the hot dogs in a pan, the toaster humming as it made the bread. His hair was extra messy, thanks to the morning sex.

Dean smiled, pleased with himself with the way Castiel's hair looked, and he went over to wrap his arms around Castiel from behind.

Castiel leaned back into the touch, happy that Dean was feeling so much better.

Dean did feel great, actually. He was well rested and he had some of the best morning sex ever. Not to mention that he had the best fiancé, ever.

Castiel smiled up at him. "All right, unless you want burned hot dogs, you need to let go of me now." He chuckled, turning the burner off and moving to put the hot dogs on a plate.  
Dean pouted as he let go of Castiel, but his face turned thoughtful as he looked at the hot dogs. "... We're gonna have to buy food for the furball... And a litterbox, and a collar, and maybe a toy.”

"I'm sure we can ask at the shelter where the best place would be to get those things," Castiel replied, grabbing the toast and arranging the sliced hot dogs on them, handing Dean his plate. "And I think we should let Sam name it, what do you think?"

"Yeah, of course. It'll be his furball," Dean said, and gave Castiel a kiss on the cheek. "As long as he doesn't name the thing Mittens or something stupid like that, I won't complain."

Castiel laughed, and prayed quickly before they ate their breakfast. Once they had finished, Castiel put the things in the sink. "Ready to go?"

Dean grinned and nodded. "Yeah. Let's go. Man. I really can't wait to see Sam's face." He kissed Castiel on the lips, then went to pull on his shoes and fetch his keys and wallet.

Castiel smiled, glad to see Dean so happy as he put his own shoes on, and waited for Dean before they went down to the Impala.

Dean slide into the driver’s seat and waited for Castiel to get into the passenger seat, before he started the car and started driving. "Man. I really hope they'll have a furball for Sammy."

"Stop calling it a fur ball, Dean." Castiel replied, cuddling close. "We haven't even gotten a kitten yet, and you're already referring to it with derogatory names."

"But a kitten... It is a tiny thing, covered in fur. It literally is a ball of fur," Dean protested. "But fine. I hope they have a _kitten,_ for Sammy." 

Castiel chuckled and kissed his cheek. "I'm sure whatever kitten we come home with, Sam will love."

Dean hummed. "Yeah, that's true... I just hope he won't be too disappointed that it isn't a dog.”

"I don't think he will be," Castiel replied, sitting up straight as they pulled into the parking lot.

Dean found a vacant spot and parked the car, then got out. He took Castiel's hand in his own when his fiancé got out, and they walked inside the shelter.  
An elderly woman looked at them. "How can I help you?" she asked.

"We're interested in adopting a kitten," Castiel told her.

She nodded. "All right then, follow me." 

She led the couple to the part of the shelter with the cats. "Just got three new litters in last week, all are six to eight weeks old."

Dean couldn't help but stare as they were taken to where the litters were kept, and he got a good look at them. "... They're so _tiny_ ," he said as he looked at Castiel.

"They're barely old enough to be away from their mother," Castiel replied, smiling at the sight of the mewling kittens. He reached in to pick one up, a little tabby, and handed it to Dean.

Dean tensed up as he took the kitten into his hands. "... Holy shit. It weighs nothing," he commented, staring at the little creature that mewed at him.

Castiel chuckled. He had two kittens crawling up on him, a black and white tuxedo and a silver tabby. "They're very light, but they're also very small," he pointed out, scratching the silver tabby behind the ear as he talked.

"Yeah... Gosh, such a tiny little pal, aren't ya? You’d be swallowed up by one of Sammy's hands," Dean mumbled. He would forever deny it, but he did squeak when the kitten suddenly climbed and jumped up on his shoulder.

Castiel laughed, and looked around at the other kittens. He frowned slightly at one in the corner, that was missing an eye and being ignored by the other kittens. "Dean..." he murmured, nodding towards the black and white kitten.

Dean blinked, and looked over at the kitten that Castiel was hinting at. He was silent for a moment. "... He could be a tiny, tiny pirate," he chuckled. He took the tabby off his shoulder and handed it to Castiel, then reached over into the corner to pick the kitten up. It mewed and wriggled in protest at first, but settled down when it felt the warmth from Dean's chest. 

Castiel wouldn't take his eyes away from the black and white kitten against Dean's chest, and reached his free hand to pet the kitten's back, feeling it purr. A soft smile appeared on his face.

The kitten blinked at Castiel with its one eye, then looked around curiously. "Is it just me, or is it even more tiny than the others?" Dean asked. 

"It probably is shoved aside during meals," Castiel replied. "Judging by the fact that the other kittens ignored it when they're playing."

Dean frowned. "Aww... Poor thing," he mumbled, and looked at the other kittens. "... They're all so... Cute," he admitted quietly. "Pirate here's the most awesome one, though." He chewed on his lip thoughtfully.

"I'm very attached to the one eyed kitten as well...I can very much sympathize." Castiel murmured.

"... I feel like we should get two," Dean said. "I feel like keeping Pirate here for myself. And I guess you can pet it too, sometimes."

"We actually recommend adopting two kittens, so they can keep each other entertained," the woman spoke up.

Castiel nodded. "I'm fine with that, if you are." he smiled at Dean. "I guess we should put Pirate back in, see which kitten would go the best with him."

"That little one is a female," the woman told them, nodding at Pirate.

Dean grinned. "A lil' fine lady pirate, aren't you, huh?" he murmured, and ever so gently put their little one back down with the others. "Let's see who wants to play nice..."

It didn't take long until a brown tabby with a white belly and mittens approached Pirate, and sniffed curiously at her, then proceeded to climb over her and playfully bite her ear.

Castiel smiled at the sight.

"That's a little girl as well," The woman told them. "Your black and white is six weeks, and the tabby is seven weeks."

Castiel reached down to let the tabby sniff his hand, and then pet the top of her head. Pirate leaned up to sniff, curious as well.

"Two fine little ladies..." Dean smiled widely. "So... I guess it's time to talk about shots, insurance, and such things."

"They've been given a few shots, mainly rabies and leukemia," she told them. "Both are spayed, and they both come with a 45$ adoption fee apiece, so that would be 90$ for the both of them. The black and white is also taking antibiotics, to prevent infection from the lost eye, and that needs to be continued for another two weeks."

Dean nodded. "All right," he said, and smiled at the lady and then at Castiel. "Let's go sign some adoption papers and become pet owners, shall we?"

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's cheek, watching their new kittens play with each other. "Yes, let's." he smiled.

The woman brought them the papers, and got two small cardboard boxes, giving them a large bag of kitten food. "We get the K-9 Advantage brand for kitten food, and we recommend you keep them on this until they're at least four months old."

Dean signed the papers, then took a good look at the bag. "That looks like a lot of food. How long will it last? Or does it depend on the little ones and how much they eat?"

"It should last you about three weeks. But make sure you always have fresh food and water available for them, since they're still very very little."

"Okay. We'll make sure to do that. Is there anything else we should know before we pay and take the ladies home?"

"Just make sure you get a litterbox, and a few toys from the pet shop down the street. Other than that, you're good," she smiled.

Castiel smiled as well, and also signed off on the papers before the lady took them, and Castiel picked up Pirate, who mewled and struggled as she was put into the box, and the little tabby.

Dean chuckled softly, and picked up the large bag of food, then went with the lady to go pay the fee.

Castiel was waiting, holding the two boxes. He gave Dean a large, brilliant smile. "They're ours now."

Dean grinned as everything was done, and gave Castiel a kiss. "Yes, yes they are," he said. He thanked the lady, then went outside to the Impala with Castiel.

Castiel settled in the passenger's seat, one kitten to each side of him. He opened the top of the boxes just enough to stick his hands in, so he could pet them.

Dean smiled at the sight as he got into the driver's seat and started the car. "You wanna stay with the kittens, while I make a quick visit to the pet store?"

"Sounds good to me," Castiel replied, smiling as Pirate shoved her head into his hand, clearly starving for affection.

Dean smiled wider, and started driving - making sure to drive slower than usual, not wanting to scare their kittens. When they reached the pet store, he parked right outside. "All right, I'll be right back," he said, and gave Castiel a kiss before getting out and going into the store.

Castiel returned the kiss happily, before he took the nameless brown tabby out of the box to hold her. "Hi there," he whispered softly. The tabby mewed at him, then licked its nose and looked around. Castiel smiled, and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "Sam will love you, and you'll get a nice name, and you'll have Dean and I and Pirate for company."

The kitten blinked and started purring and pawing at Castiel, loving the attention. Soon enough, Dean came back outside with a bag and a litterbox. He put the things in the trunk with the food, then got into the car. "Everything okay?" he asked.

Castiel smiled. "Everything's fine," he murmured, setting the tabby back into the box so she would be safe, although he kept his hands inside to pet and scratch them.

Dean smiled. "Can't wait to see how they like our place... Can't wait to see Sammy's face," he said, and started driving home.

"I can't wait either," Castiel smiled.

When they arrived home, Castiel had the boxes with the kittens in his hands as he followed Dean upstairs.

Dean carried everything else, and put the food down to let them inside. He toed off his shoes, put the litterbox on the floor and put the food and the bag on the kitchen table.

Castiel knelt down, and lifted both kittens out of the boxes, setting them on the ground.

Pirate started walking around, although she bumped into a few corners, mewing loudly when she did so.

The tabby lowered itself to the floor, and slowly crawled forward while looking around.  
Dean prepared a small bowl of food and one with water, before joining Castiel.

Castiel was smiling as he watched the kittens tentatively explore their new home. He leaned into Dean, letting out a soft, happy sigh. "I've never seen you so smitten with something other than me before," he teased.

Dean huffed softly. "Can you really blame me? Look at them, they're so adorable. Tiny little balls of fur... And you know I'll never be more smitten by anything but you," he said, and gently grabbed Castiel's ass.

Castiel jumped, his cheeks turning pink, but he smiled. "You're going to make a great kitten-father." he smiled.

Dean smiled and raised a brow. "Kitten-father? That's cute," he said, and kissed Castiel. "Would it make you kitten-daddy?"

"Maybe," Castiel teased, kissing Dean again. "But then what would that make Sam?"

"He'll have to settle with kitten-bro," Dean grinned, and kissed back. He blinked as he felt something on his foot, and looked down to see Pirate climbing all over his and Castiel's feet.

Castiel chuckled, and knelt down to pick her up, cradling her against his chest as he hugged Dean, careful of the small body in between.

Dean smiled, and lifted a hand to gently pet the kitten's head with the tips of his fingers. She purred and pawed at Castiel's chest, then buried her head into his sweater. 

Castiel smiled, and leaned his head against Dean's shoulder. "I love you," he murmured, to both Dean and Pirate.

Dean smiled, and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "I love you too, Cas," he murmured. Pirate just sighed at them and curled up, then promptly fell asleep.

Castiel chuckled, and went to the couch, settling Pirate in his lap as he watched the tabby explore. She went up to Dean, blinking up at him and mewing loudly.

"Why, hello..." Dean knelt down and carefully picked the tabby up. "You want a bit of attention too, huh? Just wait until Sammy gets his hands on you. Though I guess I'll have to do for now."

She purred, and jumped up onto his shoulder, licking his hair and grooming it. Dean wrinkled his nose, though he couldn't stop himself from snickering. "Ew. Girls... Always complaining about how you look," he murmured, and carefully went over to sit on the couch.

Castiel laughed, careful not to disturb Pirate. "She's showing you affection," he pointed out, reaching over to pet the little tabby. She purred, and rubbed her face against Castiel's hand.

"Well isn't she sweet..." Dean smiled, and looked at Castiel with a warm, loving look.

Castiel smiled back, returning the loving look. He leaned over to kiss Dean sweetly.

Dean kissed back with a soft hum. "One of the better choices we've ever made," he said.

"I agree," Castiel smiled, petting Pirate.

 

Sam arrived home from school about half an hour later. "Home!" he called out, toeing off his shoes.

"Hey, Sammy. How was school?" Dean called out. He had put the litterbox in the bathroom, and put out a folded blanket by the couch for the kittens to lay on. The toys were still in the bag, which was hanging on Sam's door.

"Pretty good, as usual." Sam replied, walking into the living room to set his bag down, brow furrowing in confusion at the sight of the blanket, and then the bag on his door. "What's going on?"

Castiel had both kittens in his and Dean's bedroom, so Sam wouldn't notice them right off.

Dean's eyes were focused on the TV since the news were on, though it was really just to keep himself from giving it all away. "Mmh? What do you mean?" he asked.

"There's a bag of… Toys? On my door, and there's a blanket on the floor, and it looks like cat food in the kitchen?" Sam was so confused. "Did you get a cat or something?"

"I don't know. You see any cats around here, Sammy? 'cause I sure don't. Why don't you go ask Cas?" 

Sam frowned slightly, but he did go knock on the closed bedroom door. "Cas? What's going on?" he asked.

Castiel opened the door, Pirate and the tabby in each of his hands.

Sam's eyes widened. "Oh! Oh! You got _two_ kittens?"

The kittens blinked and looked at Sam curiously, and mewled almost in unison.

Dean chuckled as he turned the TV off and got up from the couch. "Yeah, Sammy. Two kittens."

Castiel chuckled, and handed the tabby to Sam. "We meant to only get one, but Dean fell in love with Pirate here, and wanted to keep her for himself. So we got you a kitten. She's a girl as well."

Sam grinned widely, the kitten fitting in one of his hands. "I never… Dean, you always said we would never get a pet."

Dean put his hands into his pockets and shrugged slightly, then smiled. "Well... Erh. Just felt that you needed something else than just school and stuff. I know you love dogs, but... Kitten was the better alternative, y'know. Also, that one's an attention seeker."

The tabby's ears twitched as she sniffed Sam, then mewed loudly at him.

Sam grinned and pet her, his hand almost engulfing her, before he reached out to pet Pirate, who purred loudly and pressed into Sam's hand. "Does the tabby have a name?"

"No, you get to name her, since she's yours." Castiel replied.

Sam bit his lip as he thought about it. "How about Daenerys? From the Game of Thrones series."

Dean grinned. "That's an awesome name. Two badass ladies," he said.

Castiel chuckled. "Hello, Daenerys." he greeted the tabby. 

Pirate mewled and dug her claws into Castiel's sweater, climbing up and perching on his shoulder.

Dean reached up to gently pet Pirate, then looked at Sam. "So... The tiny balls of fur get your approval?"

"Indeed," Sam grinned, petting Daenerys. "I just find it hilarious that you fell in love with a cat too."

"Oh, shut up. Just look at her tiny face. Little tiny Pirate. She's awesome. Who couldn't love her?"

Sam smiled. "She only has one eye right?"

Castiel nodded. "They weren't sure what happened to the other one."

"She wasn't very popular with the other kittens, either, but Daenerys there seems to like her just fine," Dean added.

Sam nodded and smiled, still petting Daenerys. He set the kitten down on the ground before he gave Dean a hug. "Thanks."

Dean returned the hug with a big smile. "You're welcome, Sammy."

Sam let go and picked the kitten up again. "So, what kind of toys did you get?" he asked as they walked into the living room, Castiel careful of Pirate, still perched on his shoulder.

"Just some basic stuff... A few colorful rats to bat around, some balls, and this... Weird stick thing with a string and feathers. Nothing too fancy." Dean shrugged slightly.

Sam nodded, going to the bag to retrieve the toys, dangling the teaser over Daenery's head.

Daenery's stared at it with focused eyes. Then she started pawing at it, and stood up on her hind legs to catch it.  
Dean chuckled at the sight.

Castiel smiled, and let out a surprised noise when Pirate scrambled down his back, jumping up at the teaser and missing by a few inches.

Pirate and Daenerys jumped and fell over and climbed over each other as they played, trying to catch the teaser.

Sam was grinning widely the sight.

Dean smiled, and put an arm around Castiel to pull him close.

Castiel leaned into the touch, smiling. "I love you," he murmured. "So much."

"Love you too, Cas," Dean murmured back, and watched Sam play with the kittens.


	16. Beloved Angel, My Reason

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BONUS CHAPTER TO CELEBRATE THAT BEAT THE ODDS HAS BEEN IN THE MAKING FOR 2 YEARS!
> 
>  **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Dean and Castiel's anniversary is coming up, and Castiel consults his friend Charlie about it as they go back to the apartment after a day of college classes. They don't really finish the conversation as they get into the apartment. Dean and Charlie introduce themselves and hit it off pretty well, and it comes up that Castiel is going to be part of a photography project of Charlie's. So, naturally, Dean is pulled into it as well. She tells them to dress nice and then they go to a private beach where her girlfriend's family owns a beach house, and they end up doing an engagement photoshoot since Dean and Castiel never had one. Afterwards, Dean and Castiel shares a moment.

A few weeks passed, and Castiel was getting more and more anxious. His and Dean's one year anniversary was getting closer and closer, and he still had no idea what to do.

He was asking Charlie for help as the two of them walked back to the apartment.

"Is he into kinky shit? Let him tie you up!" the redhead suggested.

Castiel flushed a bright red. "We'll be all right as far as what occurs in the bedroom. But what about before that? I don't know if I should get him anything, or what to do!"

"You cook, right? Make him his favorite meal for dinner," she suggested, as Castiel climbed the stairs and let them into the apartment. "Home!" he called out, as he and Charlie both took off their shoes.

"Hey, Cas!" Dean called from the kitchen, where he was sitting with Castiel's laptop - which he had of course asked to use. He had one kitten on the table, the other draped over his shoulders. "How was your day?"

"It was fine," Castiel replied, walking into the kitchen to give Dean a kiss and pet the kittens. "Charlie's here," he smiled. "Dean, this is Charlie. Charlie, this is my fiancé, Dean."

"You two are just adorbs," she grinned. "Nice to finally meet ya, Dean. Castiel won't shut up about you."

Dean grinned. "Why, thank you. Nice to meet you too, Charlie. It’s good to hear that Cas has good friends," he said, and held his hand out to her.

Charlie took the hand and shook it firmly. "So, I hear you like Tolkien." she grinned.

Dean nodded. "That's absolutely right," he confirmed with a smile.

Charlie's grin widened. "Favourite character?"

"Okay you two, Charlie, we need to get your shoot done, remember?" Castiel tried to discourage the hour long conversation that would end up occurring if these two got into it.

"God. No clue. Aragon maybe? He's awesome. Then again, there's Gandalf and Thorin. But, then there's the rest," Dean said with a thoughtful face. "Let me think about it while you two do ... Whatever you're gonna do."

"I expect a full report!" Charlie grinned.

"Charlie's a photography major," Castiel explained. "So she's dragging me along to model," he made a face.

"Oh shush, you volunteered." She rolled her eyes.  
"Was coerced."  
"You should come too, Dean! Have you ever had engagement photos done? I can take those for you two too!" she grinned.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. "Cas is the one that looks good on photos, not me. Though, we don't actually have any engagement photos..."

"That settles it, you're coming too," she grinned, walking over to pull Dean to his feet. "You two get ready, dress in something nice." she shoved them both in the direction of Sam's bedroom.

Castiel chuckled, and took Dean's hand as they turned to their own bedroom. "Close, Charlie, that's Sam's." 

"Uuuh... And what kind of 'nice' are you talking about? Is jeans and a plaid shirt okay?" Dean asked.

"No rips, tears, or stains," Charlie replies. "Other than than, have at it."

"Huh. Okay." Dean nodded. "Be right back," he said, and closed the bedroom door to give him and Castiel some privacy.

Castiel chuckled. "Sorry for dragging you into this," he told Dean as he went into the closet, pulling out the blue gradient turtleneck he liked to wear when they went on dates, adjusting his leather bracelet so it was worn over the sleeve.

"Nah, it's okay. I'm just hoping I'll be a decent model," Dean replied, and grabbed a button down shirt and the suit jacket he rarely wore.

"You will be. You're beautiful," Castiel smiled, giving the other a kiss as he pulled on a pair of jeans that Dean had bought him,

"Mmh. Not compared to you," Dean replied, smiling as he pulled out a pair of black jeans - the only pair that weren't damaged in some way.

Castiel's breath hitched slightly as Dean pulled the jeans on, his eyes trailing over Dean's ass. "Beautiful," he murmured, leaning in to kiss the back of Dean's neck.

Dean chuckled. "Yeah yeah, whatever you say, honey," he said, and looked at Castiel. "You ready, hot stuff?"

"Indeed," Castiel smiled, and they walked out.

Charlie whistled. "If I liked guys, you two would be on my list." she grinned. "Lets go!"

"Where are we even going?" Dean asked, and lifted a brow.

"The beach," she grinned. "Dean's driving!"

 

"What?" Dean stared at her.

 

"We were planning on going to the park, but now we have engagement photos to take. Plus I hear you adore your car."

"Yeah, I love my car, but _the beach_? Aren't there going to be, like... Lots of people there?"

"Not the beach I'm thinking of. It's private, locals only. Dorothy's parents own a beach house on it, and I have a key. So yes, beach."

Dean furrowed his brows, and thought about it for a moment. "... All right, fine."

She grinned happily. "All right, let's go!" she smiled, nearly pushing the couple out the door.

Castiel mouthed an "I'm sorry," at Dean as they went down to the car.

Dean just huffed, and hoped that his car would come out of this without getting tons of sand inside it. He unlocked the car, and slid into the passenger seat.

 

Castiel slid into the passengers seat as Charlie got into the back. "Do you know how to get to the coast?" she asked Dean.

Dean nodded at Charlie, then started the car. "Yeah. I do."

"All right, I'll start directing when we get closer then," she grinned, and leaned back. "Sith or Jedi?" she asked Dean.

"Aww, are you seriously asking me that, dude? That's no fair."

Charlie and Dean quickly descended into conversation that Castiel couldn't follow, having not watched any but a few of the movies they were discussing and referencing. But he enjoyed it, enjoyed that Dean was comfortable with Charlie, and vice versa. He held Dean's hand as they drove, happy and content.

When they hit the coast, Charlie directed them where they needed to go. Sure enough, the private beach was empty of people, save a couple sunbathing a few hundred yards away.

Dean parked the car and turned the engine off as soon as they arrived. He stretched as he got out of the car. "... I guess this place isn't so bad."

Castiel smiled, his eyes sparkling as he looked at the ocean. "It's beautiful," he murmured.

Charlie snapped a picture of Castiel. "All right, shoes off, and we're going down into the sand.”

Dean scrunched his nose, but did remove his shoes and socks.

Castiel removed his own shoes, and he took Dean's hand as they walked down into the sand, something lighting his face that was new. He had always loved the idea of the beach, but he had never actually been until now. And it was beautiful.

 

Dean had never really liked how the sand stuck to the skin between his toes, but looking at Castiel - it was totally worth it. "You look like you're in love with the scenery," he teased.

"I am," Castiel murmured, squeezing Dean's hand. "It's beautiful, and everything I imagined." he turned to look at Dean then, his eyes full of love and wonder.

Dean smiled softly, and leaned in to kiss Castiel on the lips. "That's good, Cas," he murmured.

Castiel kissed him back, and Charlie discreetly took a few pictures. Candids, in her opinion, were better than posed.

When the kiss broke, Castiel laughed and looked up at the sky. "I definitely want our honeymoon to be on the beach," he told Dean.

"Yeah. Though then we'll be swimming, too," Dean said. "It's gonna be nice."

"It is indeed," Castiel hummed.

"All right, let's get started," Charlie smiled. "Let's see those pretty rings."

Castiel flared his hand out, making sure the blue stone in his ring was visible.

Dean didn't know what to do, so he just awkwardly showed his hand to the camera.

Charlie took his hand and moved it so their hands were overlapping, but both rings were still visible. She took a few pictures. "All right, who proposed to who?"

"I did," Castiel replied. 

"All right, down on one knee you go. Hold hands, and just look at each other."

Castiel did as asked, looking up at Dean with love and affection written all over his face and shining in his eyes.

Dean couldn't help but chuckle. "This is totally not how it went," he murmured, but he smiled lovingly down at Castiel.

Charlie took a couple more pictures, and laughed and took more when Castiel stood and immediately kissed Dean. "How did it go, then? Cas never told me."

Dean kissed back gently. "It was Christmas. We went to church, then went back home and to our room. Then he just... Brought out the box and he was shaking so bad I thought he was going to puke. I said yes and then we kissed and here we are." He grinned.

Castiel blushed. "I couldn't even get the words out," he admitted.

Charlie smiled. "That's actually really sweet, and especially for Christmas." she got another picture of a blushing Castiel in Dean's arms. 

"Yeah... But at least you had a ring and actually did it," Dean chuckled, and pulled Castiel closer. "Yeah, it was very sweet. You should get a close up on the ring - it's really beautiful. Cas designed it."

"Really?" she took a closer look at Dean's wing, and grinned. "You sly dog, Cas! That's your signature!"

"Without the C, but yes." Castiel blushed.

Dean smiled widely. "Well. I'm his, so I'll gladly wear his signature," he said, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled, and Charlie was taking pictures, of the ring and the loving couple. "Any engravings for either of you?"

Castiel nodded, and took off his ring to show her the "Beloved Angel" on the inside of his band. She smiled.

Dean paused for a moment. "... Did you get anything engraved on the inside of mine?"

Castiel blushed. "Did you never look?" he asked softly.

"No, I... I didn't want to take it off," Dean admitted, also blushing. "Haven't taken it off since Christmas," he murmured, and carefully pulled the ring off.

Castiel smiled softly as Dean looked at the engraving. It said "My reason”. Castiel's reason for living.

Dean almost dropped the ring, but held it more securely in his hands as he took a second look. He pressed his lips together and looked at Castiel, trying not to seem emotional but knew his eyes were glassy.

Castiel gave him a soft smile, his own eyes glassy. "I'll never escape...what I have." he murmured, choosing his words carefully in front of Charlie. "I'll have good days, and I'll have days where I physically cannot get out of bed. But I promise you, I will never try again. Because you're my reason."

Dean put his ring back on, then wrapped his arms tightly around his fiancé to hold him close. He almost wanted to sob, but couldn't when Charlie was around.

Castiel clung just as tightly. "I love you," he whispered softly.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean whispered back.

Charlie got a few pictures of the couple as they held each other.

Castiel just clung to Dean for a while, before he slowly pulled away, his eyes shining.

Dean kissed Castiel gently on the lips. "Forever and always," he murmured. 

"Forever," Castiel whispered back.

Charlie smiled. "I'm going to be honest here: I have never seen a couple so in love as you two are."

Dean chuckled softly. "I guess that's because we're pretty much made for each other..."

"We have a profound bond," Castiel murmured, looking at Charlie. "When Dean and I met, we were polar opposites. I was the class pariah, the bullies' favorite. Dean was the captain of the football team with a new girl every week. And then one day, he sat with me at lunch, and I offered him Chinese, and here we are now."

"... To think it all started with Chinese food," Dean laughed softly and shook his head. "It wasn't the first time we met, but it was, like... The first time I really saw Cas."

"The first time he saw past the awkward kid in a trench coat."

Charlie chuckled. "You own a trench coat?" she asked.

A flash of pain flickered over Castiel's face. "I did. And then something horrible happened, and I lost it. But I don't care very much, because I almost lost something else that day."

Dean gently rubbed Castiel's shoulder. "We've been through a lot of rough patches, so I think that's also a reason to why we're so good together. We made it through hard times, and our relationship grew stronger."

Charlie nodded. "I see it now, when you two are together. Cas, you just, light up. You look whole, like you're with that missing piece of you."

Dean smiled softly, and gently kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled as well, and leaned into Dean.

"Well, I'm going to go into the house and pick out the best pictures. You two enjoy your time here on the beach, okay?" Charlie smiled, heading up to the house to set up her computer and transfer the pictures.

Dean hummed. "If only we had towels and weren't dressed so nicely... I'd totally drag you into the water."

Castiel chuckled, and leaned down to roll his jeans up to his knees. "We can wade," he pointed out.

"Well, that's true," Dean replied, and couldn't help but gently pat Castiel's ass, before leaning down to roll his own jeans up.

Castiel smiled, and took Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together as they walked down into the water.

Dean sighed softly at the feeling of the water on his skin. "Not bad, not bad at all," he said, smiling.

Castiel was beaming, and they walked for a little bit, hand in hand. After a little bit, Castiel walked them back out of the water and into the sand, before he turned and dropped on one knee in front of Dean.

"I know we're engaged, but I want to do this right," he murmured, his voice calm and firm, not shaking even a little. His eyes were locked on Dean's. "I love you, Dean Winchester. More than I ever believed possible. You've picked me up, supported me, loved me no matter what. You could have chosen anyone, but you chose me. And I want to stay by your side until we die, and when we do, spend all of eternity in heaven with you. So, Dean Winchester, will you marry me?"

Dean stared down at his fiancé, and when Castiel had finished speaking, he chuckled softly. Even if they were already engaged, his cheeks turned red and his eyes turned glassy again, his face softening. "Of course I'll marry you, Castiel Novak. Future Castiel Winchester," he replied softly.

Castiel smiled brightly up at Dean, and got back up on his feet to hug and kiss him, their mouths slotting together perfectly.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in return and kissed back, smiling into the kiss.

Castiel smiled too. "Castiel Winchester," he whispered. "I'll be Castiel Winchester."

"In less than a year, you'll be Castiel Winchester, yes," Dean murmured.

Castiel kissed him again. "For the rest of my life, I will be Castiel Winchester."

Dean nodded. "Forever and always. Mr and Mr Winchester," he grinned.

Castiel grinned back. "Hey Dean?" he murmured, softly. "What would you like to do for our one year anniversary? It's next week."

Dead pursed his lips. "I don't know. I may, or may not have something for you..." His lips curled into a mischievous smile. "Though, we'll see what happens."

Castiel chuckled at the sight of the smile. "Sounds good to me," he murmured, kissing Dean again and pressing close.

Dean kissed back and held Castiel tightly. "Good. So there's no need for you to worry - if you have been worried about it, that is..."

"I was," he admitted. "But not anymore."

Dean grinned, and kissed Castiel again. "Good."

Castiel closed his eyes and kissed back.

"Hey!" Charlie called out. "Get back here, I found the good ones!"

Dean grinned as they parted, then he bent down and scooped Castiel up into his arms, and started carrying him over to Charlie.

Castiel yelped and laughed as he held onto Dean.

Charlie brought up her camera and snapped a few more pictures of Dean carrying Castiel bridal style.

Dean carefully set Castiel back down on his feet when they reached Charlie, and kissed his fiancé on the cheek.

Castiel blushed, but smiled.

Charlie showed them the pictures, of the rings first, and then of them walking hand in hand, kissing, and sharing tender looks. Both Dean and Castiel looked beautiful, their love for each other plain on their faces.

"... Maybe we should become professional models," Dean commented with a soft chuckle. "The photos look great, Charlie."

Charlie beamed. "It helps, having two guys as attractive as you two are. Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I can't see it."

Dean grinned. "Well, thank you, miss," he said with a wink. "So... Is this for a school project or something?"

"Yeah. We're trying to find subject matter that interests us, to put together a collection. At the end of the semester, every program chooses one student for the gallery. One for photography, sculpture, ceramics, fine arts, and graphic design."

Castiel nodded. "It's basically our objective for the semester."

Dean looked impressed. "Sounds pretty awesome, to be honest."

Castiel nodded. "I have an idea of what I'm going to do, but I'm not sure the judges will like it very much."

"Psssh, shut up, it's a great idea." Charlie told him.

Dean blinked, and looked at Castiel. "What is your idea?"

Castiel smiled softly. "You'll see. If I get into the show, I prefer you see it for the first time that way. If I don't, I promise I'll still show you." he kissed Dean's cheek.

Dean pouted. "You better, 'cause now you've got me all curious," he mumbled.

"I'll give you a hint; it's one of my favorite things to paint." he smiled softly.

Dean frowned and furrowed his brows, trying to come up with what it might be.

Castiel just smiled, and Charlie laughed. "I'll give Cas prints of the pictures next time I see him, okay?"

"Sounds good," Dean said and nodded.

"As for now, I'm starving and there's a great seafood restaurant about four blocks away. Let's go there, unless one of you is adverse to seafood."

Castiel shrugged. "I enjoy some forms of it."

"Well... Let's go take a look at the menu, at least. Otherwise we'll just find somewhere else," Dean said.

"Sounds good!" she smiled. "Also, here are some towels to get the sand off of your feet before we get in the car."

"Awesome - thanks, Charlie. For saving my Baby from the sand."

Charlie laughed and winked, getting the sand off of her own feet before she slid into the backseat, while Castiel got into the front. 

Dean got into the driver's seat after making sure all the sand was off and he got his shoes on, then he started the car. "So, exactly where is this restaurant?"

"Take a left once we get onto the main road, it's on the right hand side. Can't miss it, it's called "Missouri's”."

"All right," Dean nodded and drove off towards Missouri's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! This Friday we bring you an extra chapter of California, part of the Beat the Odds series! This is purely because that in 2013, on the 21st August, me and Cinder met on Omegle. Cinder had a prompt, and me, just getting back into the world of roleplaying, had so much fun and we decided to continue over email. And now, two years later, we're still roleplaying and churning out stories.
> 
> Beat the Odds is now 2 years old, it's still going strong, and we hope that you enjoy it and will stick around for some time. :)  
> -Uke


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Dean, Castiel and Charlie go to Missouri's restaurant, where they meet Missouri herself. She's a special woman, but seems nice enough and the food is good. After they finish lunch they drive home - but almost there, a man crashes into them. The man is shaken but not injured, while Charlie's bleeding, Castiel broke his left wrist and Dean is left with a concussion. They go to the hospital but get to leave later that day after having their injuries treated.
> 
>  **CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Blood, vomiting, injuries from a car crash.

When they had arrived and parked, Charlie got out first and went inside. "Oh! Missouri's here!" she grinned, and waved.

Castiel linked hands with Dean as they went inside. It was a cozy little restaurant.

"Charlie, sweetheart! It's been much too long," said Missouri as she came forth to greet Charlie and give her a hug and gently pat her cheeks.

Dean felt slightly awkward as he kept his place beside his fiancé.

"I know, Dorothy and I have been swamped with school." Charlie replied. "This is my friend, Castiel, and his fiancé, Dean. Guys, this is Missouri, the best cook on the west coast."

"Oh, that is sad. But you two better come here soon, or I might drag you here," Missouri said, then turned to Castiel and Dean. "Oh, boys. Come now, let me get a good look at you. Don't be shy."

Dean felt very awkward as Missouri came forward and patted his and Castiel's cheeks while examining them.

Castiel tensed up under her touch, his grip on Dean's hand tightening. He didn't like strangers touching him, but he didn't say anything.

"Now now, don't be like that, child. I'm no more dangerous than a kitten," Missouri said with a small huff as she took a step back. "So, you're here to eat, yes?"

"Course we are," Charlie grinned. "Although Dean here is a little hesitant. What's the special today?"

"Today it's shrimp creole," Missouri said.

Dean smiled slightly. "... That actually doesn't sound too bad."

"That sounds good to me as well," Castiel added.

Charlie grinned. "Then let's grab a table," she tugged at their hands to lead them to one.

Dean glanced behind them to see Missouri disappear into the kitchen, and let out a relieved sigh as the three of them sat down by the table. "... Really. What just happened?"

"Missouri is a faith healer too," Charlie told them. "She's uncannily good at reading people. And her cooking is phenomenal."

"... A faith healer? What's that? She's doing hoodo stuff or something?" Dean frowned. "... And is that why she didn't ask you what you wanted to eat?"

"She puts together herbs and natural remedies, not pill shit." Charlie replied. "And I get the same thing every time I come here, salmon over a rice pilaf. She doesn't need to ask me."

"... Huh. I don't know if I should be impressed or weirded out," Dean admitted.

"I've learned it's better not to ask. She'll say some weird shit sometimes, but she's always uncannily accurate."

"... Should I look forward to it or should I be scared?"

"Depends on what she says," Charlie replied."She predicted my mom's death, and my relationship with Dorothy."

"Oh... Sorry to hear about your mom," Dean murmured.

Charlie shrugged. "I miss her, yeah, but what can you do? I can't spend the rest of my life grieving, I need to live too."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, that's true," he said, and put his hand on Castiel's thigh under the table.

Castiel placed his hand over Dean's, and squeezed it lightly.

"So guys, tell me more about your wedding. Where will it be, what are you wearing, honeymoon plans?" she winked.

"Uhm... It'll be at the... What's the name of the church, Cas? I know which one it is, I just forgot the name... It's the pretty one. And Castiel's wearing a white suit."

"St Judes," Castiel replied. "I go there every Sunday, the preacher is extremely nice and open minded. He was thrilled when I asked if we could use his services."

Charlie grinned. "I can't wait to see you both."

Dean smiled, and looked at his fiancé. "Yeah... And I really can't wait to see Cas in a white suit."

A moment later, Missouri came out with their food. "Here you go, darlings," she said as she set the plates down.

"I can model it for you when we get home.” Castiel offered. “Sam went with me to pick it out, since Dean was working that day.” He explained to Charlie.

Charlie just smiled. “Bet it looks awesome.” 

Dean grinned "That would be awesome!"

Charlie chuckled, and she waited for Castiel to pray before she ate, used to waiting for him during the lunches they shared.

Castiel's eyes widened happily. "This is delicious." he murmured.

Dean hummed in agreement as he took the first bite, then quickly took another. "It's awesome, really awesome."

"Told you Missouri's good," Charlie smiled.

“You did," Dean said and nodded.

Charlie continued to eat, as did Castiel while the two started chatting about school and the like. Castiel's hand remained on top of Dean's.

Dean focused on eating and simply just listening, and rubbed his thumb over Castiel's thigh every now and then.

When they finished eating, Charlie and Castiel started bickering over who would pay the bill; Castiel wanted to repay her in some way for taking the pictures, while Charlie insisted she pay them back for the gas money.

Dean couldn't help but laugh at them. "Why don't you just split the bill?" he suggested.

"No!" both of them replied simultaneously.

Dean turned quiet, staring at them in mild shock. "... Okay."

Both Charlie and Castiel shared a glance before they dissolved into laughter at Dean's face.

Dean blinked, then huffed and crossed his arms.

Castiel leaned over to peck Dean's lips. "I love you," he murmured.

"You laughed at me," Dean pouted. "It's a good thing I love you too."

Castiel smiled, and Charlie just laughed. "Fine, I guess we can split it."

Castiel sighed heavily. "Fiiiine."

Dean smiled at that, glad that they'd come to an agreement.

They each paid their separate bills, Castiel putting Dean's meal on his, since they took turns paying when they went out to eat. Once they married, they would join bank accounts.

"So, Charlie. Where do we drop you off?" Dean asked when they got up and left.

"I don't live far, actually two complexes down from you two," she smiled, getting into the backseat.

"Oh, all righty then," Dean said, smiling as he got into the driver's seat.

Castiel slid into the passenger seat, and cuddled up to Dean as they started driving.

 

The radio was on and they all chatted lightly while Dean drove. They weren't far from home, when something caught Dean's eye and he swore loudly, and pressed the brake while trying to turn the car. The oncoming car's brakes were screeching, and a moment later the two vehicles collided. Dean had a hand pressed to Castiel's chest, to keep him from flying forward.

Castiel's head jerked forwards with the impact, his hands flying out to try to brace himself automatically, a sickening crack echoing through the sound of crunching metal. Castiel cried out, and Charlie screamed, a smashed window cutting her cheeks and hands.

Dean flew forward, causing his head to smack into the steering wheel. The car swerved a bit on the spot before stopping completely, and it was silent aside from the creaking of the crushed metal.

Castiel was crying, his left wrist having snapped from the impact. "Dean...Dean, please, are you okay?" he bit out through his tears, cradling his arm.

Dean didn't answer, but he was breathing. There was a slamming of a car door, as the other driver staggered out of his car. 

Castiel started to panic, calling out Dean's name frantically.

Charlie got out of the car, moving carefully to the uncrushed driver's side, opening it carefully. "Cas, he's breathing, it'll be okay," she tried to reassure him. Blood was pouring down her hands and face, but she didn't care. "Are you okay?"

Castiel shook his head, shaking hard, and still cradling his hand.

The other driver could be heard talking on the phone, clearly shaken up by what had just happened. A few people had cautiously come outside to see with their own eyes what all the noise had been about.

Charlie turned to the other driver. "We have the driver unconscious, one passenger with a broken wrist or arm, and one with lacerations." she told him.

The driver was startled at hearing her voice, but nodded quickly as he gathered himself enough to speak again, and told the person on the other end what Charlie had just told him.

Ignoring that she herself was bleeding, she locked eyes with Castiel. "Dean will be all right, Cas." she said firmly. "You need help too, what hurts?"

"M-my wrist..." Castiel whispered. "I think it broke..."

The other driver soon approached them with hesitant steps. "I... E-excuse me... I... I'm terribly sorry... I-I don't... Do you need any help?" he stuttered.

"We need to get these two out, and I can't lift him by myself." She nodded at Dean.

The man nodded, and even though his hands were shaky, he managed to help with getting Dean out of the car.

They laid him out on the ground, pillowing his head with his jacket, while Charlie helped Castiel out. He immediately went to Dean's side, trying to wake him up.

Dean eventually gave a weak groan, and started grasping weakly at the ground and in the air, until he found Castiel's thigh.

Castiel breathed out in relief. "Dean..." he cried the other man's name softly, his wrist throbbing.

"What happened...?" Dean slurred slightly as he spoke, and tried to open his eyes, but closed them quickly.

"Car hit us." Castiel bit out, voice full of pain. "Charlie's cut, I broke my wrist, I'm pretty sure, and who knows about you. Is it a concussion?"

"Oh... Oh, yeah... The car. I saw it, yet I couldn't... Cas. Ambulance?" Dean asked.

"On it's way, other driver called." Castiel let out a sob, he was in so much pain.

"Oh, no, Cas... Don't cry- Please don't cry, I'm sorry," Dean's breath quickened, and he opened his eyes wide to look at Castiel the best he could with his unfocused vision.

"Not your fault..." Castiel bit out. "It hurts so bad..."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." Dean couldn't seem to stop apologizing, despite what Castiel said.

"S'not your fault..." Castiel replied, trembling. "Not your fault..."

Charlie made her way over, having finished taking pictures of the damage to the Impala. "Oh thank God, Dean, you're awake..."

"How... I was out? How long...?" Dean asked, then his breath hitched. "Oh God... Red- Charlie, you're bleeding...?"

"I know, but I'm nowhere near as bad as you or Cas," she replied. "You were out about ten minutes or so."

Dean closed his eyes tightly. "Shit... Sammy. Cas- Gotta call Sammy. Fucking shit..."

"Can't. Can't move my hand." Castiel whispered, shaking and crying out softly.

"I will," Charlie told Dean, reaching for Dean's pocket to grab his phone.

Dean let Charlie take his phone. "Sammy's my baby brother- I... Ugh, I feel sick... Tell Sammy to keep safe until we're home..."

Charlie carefully helped Dean sit up as she called Sam, speaking to him and telling him what had happened. She then called Dorothy, who would come and give them a ride home while a tow truck took the Impala back.

Dean almost yelled when he heard that his car was that damaged, and then quickly turned away from Castiel and Charlie to throw up.

Castiel was crying. "I'm sorry..." he whimpered. "I can't help you, I'm sorry..."

Dean wanted to comfort Castiel, but he couldn't stop coughing and heaving, and everything was hurting.

The ambulance came not long later, loading up Dean and Castiel into one and Charlie staying at the scene, able to be treated on-site.

Castiel cried out in pain as one of the paramedics gently took his hand, which was bent at an awkward angle.

 

Dean was pliant and let the other paramedic check on him, but as soon as he heard Castiel's pained cry, his pulse quickened and he struggled. "Cas!"

"He's all right, sir. We're just assessing the damage to his wrist." the paramedic tried to soothe Dean.

Castiel was crying, letting out pained groans as the first one poked at his swollen wrist.

"You're hurting him," Dean wheezed, but settled down to let the paramedics do their job and trying not to throw up again.

The paramedic taking care of Castiel murmured soothing words and apologized for the pain, but it was necessary.

Castiel was crying hard, shaking as he was finally allowed to rest his arm, no longer being poked at. It was still painful, and every bump in the road made it hurt. "Dean..." he whimpered.

Dean flailed slightly as he reached out towards his fiancé with a slightly shaky hand. "Cas, Cas-"

Castiel reached back with his good hand, grasping at Deans and holding it tight.

Dean calmed down as he felt Castiel's hand, and his eyes drooped. "Cas," he murmured.

Castiel was shaking. "Hurts so bad..." he cried.

"I'm sorry, so sorry... But it's gonna be okay, they're gonna patch you up. Gonna help you," Dean mumbled.

"I know...you hang on too, promise me..." he whimpered.

Dean smiled weakly. "Not gonna leave you... I promise. Just... Need to sleep for a bit. I'm very sleepy, Cas," he mumbled.

"We would prefer if you stayed awake, sir," one of the paramedics said.

Dean whined softly at that.

"Stay awake for me, please...." Castiel asked softly, crying out as they went over a speed bump, clutching at Dean's hand tightly.

"Ow... Okay, okay, I'm sorry," Dean said softly, and laced their fingers together when Castiel's grip loosened enough to allow him to do so.

They soon arrived at the hospital, and Dean was taken away to examine his concussion further and see if he had other injuries.

Castle was taken to have his wrist reset and a cast put on. He had completely snapped one of the bones, but it was a clean break. He was thankful that it was his left hand; he could still paint and do schoolwork without having to worry.

Dean had gotten a bad concussion and his neck and back were starting to feel a bit stiff, but there luckily wasn't any internal damage. His forehead had swelled during the check up, but got some ice to try and reduce it, since the swelling didn't appear to be serious.

Castiel was given a room to recover from the process in, his neck being supported by a soft neck brace, since he also suffered from some whiplash. His mind blurry and hazed by painkillers, he kept asking for Dean.

Dean kept asking to see Castiel, too, but wasn't allowed out of bed. He was in great pain, and was feeling very nauseous - almost having thrown up on the doctor that had been checking up on him. He really hated being stuck in the hospital.

Charlie entered Dean's room about an hour later, along with a brunette wearing a vintage leather jacket. "How're you doing?" she asked. She had a few stitches on a cut on her forehead, but was fine otherwise.

Dean blinked and squinted at the two. "More importantly... How's Cas? Have you seen him? They won't let me out of bed- Please tell me he's okay," he said.

Charlie laughed and shook her head. "You two really are exactly the same sometimes. He asked me those exact questions about you. He's okay, a broken wrist that's been reset and put into a cast. He also has a soft neck brace, since he had pretty bad whiplash. Now, how about you?"

Dean frowned, and closed his eyes. "Concussion, swelling of the forehead, whiplash and nausea... But it... It's not... /That/ bad... Just a bit stiff and a little bit of pain... How's Cas, mentally speaking?"

Charlie looked a little puzzled. "He looked like he was having some sort of possession happening when you were unconscious, but he was completely dosed on medication when we saw him. Why?" Charlie was unaware of Castiel's mental problems.

"Aw, fuck... He gets stressed easily," Dean said. It wasn't untrue, but he didn't want to tell Charlie the exact truth, in case she didn't know. He clenched his jaw as he moved to sit up, then had to pause to swallow down the bile that rose in his throat. "Gotta see him..."

"Whoa there cowboy, lay down." Charlie gently pushed him back into bed. "He'll be fine, both of you will be. You just need to calm down and recover for a bit."

Dean groaned weakly. "I'm fine. I just... I just gotta see him, Charlie..."

Charlie's brow furrowed. "He's all right, Dean, I promise. Why are you so worried still?"

Dean was quiet for a moment. "... He's been in and out of hospitals several times in less than a year. I just... I don't like leaving him alone."

"Dorothy and I will go be with him then, until you're better, okay?" she murmured.

Dean smiled lightly at that. "Yeah... That'd be great. Thank you."

She smiled. "No biggie. See you soon," she ruffled his hair gently before they left to see Castiel.

"Hey, Castiel, we're back," Dorothy greeted as they reached Castiel's room.

"How's Dean? Is he okay? I need to see him" Castiel replied groggily, trying to sit up.

"Whoa there, god, are all guys this impatient? Dean is fine." Charlie replied.

Dorothy put her hands on Castiel's shoulders. "He wants to see you too, but he's not allowed out of bed. And you shouldn't get up either."

"Is he okay?" Castiel demanded, shaking slightly.

"He's fine. A concussion, whiplash, and a few bumps and bruises. But he'll recover."

"He didn't want you to be alone, so... Here we are. You and that boyfriend of yours really are two sides of the same coin, aren't you?"

"Fiancé," Castiel replied, correcting the wording. "And in a way, we are. He's my soulmate..." he whispered, closing his eyes.

Dorothy raised a brow, and looked at Charlie. "Soulmate, huh... Sounds romantic."

"Believe me, I've never seen a couple more in love," Charlie replied, bringing out her camera to show Dorothy the result of the photoshoot.

Dorothy let out a low whistle. "It sort of looks like they're in a romantic movie..."

"But they aren't acting, not even a little." Charlie replied.

"That's amazing," Dorothy mumbled. "No wonder they're nuts."

Charlie nodded, glancing at the sleeping Castiel. "And I get the feeling there's something else, that keeps them so protective."

"Maybe... But if there is, I don't think they'll be so willing to share." Dorothy wrapped an arm around Charlie. "Though I might be wrong."

Charlie sighed, leaning into her girlfriend. "Yeah...Castiel is always so hesitant and withdrawn, that it makes me wonder what happened. And remember Dean saying that he's been in and out of hospitals?"

Dorothy kissed the top of Charlie's head. "I heard him, loud and clear. I'm sure Castiel will tell you things when he feels comfortable enough to do so, babe."

Charlie sighed. "I guess you're right..."

A couple of hours later, and a nurse went into Castiel's room, clearing him to be released. He immediately got out and started making his way to the door, throwing a pleading glance at Charlie and Dorothy, to help him find Dean's room.

Dorothy rolled her eyes and mumbled something about 'patience', before she and Charlie helped Castiel to get to Dean's room.

Castiel went to Dean's side immediately, wrapping his arms around the other man. "Dean..." he whispered, holding him close.

"Hey, Cas," Dean mumbled, and wrapped his arms around Castiel in return. "How are you feeling now...?"

"Still fuzzy, painkillers." he mumbled. "Can't feel my left hand, but they say that's normal..."

"But you're not in too much pain... Right?" Dean asked softly.

"Not anymore." Castiel murmured, holding on as tightly as he dared, with his left arm in a cast and Dean's condition.

"That's good... Hate it when you're hurt," Dean said quietly.

"I hate it when you are," Castiel murmured. "It's all going to be okay..."

"It's not the worst injuries we've had, but Cas... The car. I've gotta fix the car. It... It's not gonna be cheap."

"I know." Castiel murmured. "We'll dip into my savings to cover rent and expenses, and the hospital bills. You just fix up your baby, okay?"

"But, Cas... That's... That's a lot of money. I can't let you pay all that by yourself..."

"I still have over 600 grand in my savings," Castiel murmured. "It'll be fine, I promise. Savings are there for when emergencies like this come up. Besides, it's only about seven months or so before that money becomes yours as well."

Dean's eyes were wide, and he pulled back slightly to look at his fiancé. "... 600... /Grand/?"

Castiel nodded. "My inheritance. When I turned eighteen, it became mine."

"Oh... That's... Wow." Dean gave a small smile. "Now I'll be able to sleep at night, at least."

Castiel smiled softly, and brushed a lock of hair from Dean's forehead. "We still need to try to live off of our paychecks, but we don't have to worry if emergencies like this come up."

"Yeah... We're doing fine with our paychecks. No need to use that money if we don't need it," Dean mumbled, and looked at Castiel. "Can I get a kiss? I've washed my mouth."

Castiel smiled, and leaned in to kiss Dean, slowly and gently.

Dean smiled too, and kissed back just as gently.

Charlie smiled at Dorothy. "See what I mean?"

"Sure do, red," Dorothy said, and smiled back at her girlfriend.

When the kiss broke, Castiel pressed a soft kiss to the tip of Dean's nose. "I love you," he murmured.

"Love you too," Dean replied softly, and gently rubbed a hand over Castiel's back.

"We should probably head home, you can be discharged now that I've been," he armored.

Dean nodded. "All right, let's go home, then."

Castiel kissed his forehead before gently helping him up, using his good arm and side to help support Dean.

Dean carefully got out of bed, and sighed softly as he was on his feet. "Damn, it feels good to be out of that damned bed..."

Castiel chuckled. "You really hate hospital beds," he murmured, taking slow steps along with Dean.

Charlie laced her fingers together with Dorothy as they led the other couple out towards Dorothy's car. 

Dean made a face. "I really hate hospitals... I don't really like staring at walls or the ceiling."

Dorothy smiled, and gave Charlie a kiss on the forehead. She unlocked her car when they reached it, and held a door open for Castiel and Dean.

Castiel helped Dean into the car before sliding in himself, curling up close and burying his face into Dean's neck.

"All right, lover boys. Let's get you home," Dorothy said as she got in the driver's seat and started the car.

Dean smiled weakly, and squeezed his eyes shut as the car started moving.

Castiel directed Dorothy, although he didn't remove his face from Dean's neck, the white cast resting in his lap. He had chosen white, so his artist friends and himself could go to town on it. Blank surfaces were always a canvas for him.

Dean was quiet during the ride, feeling too tired to bother.

Dorothy stopped the car right outside their building when they arrived, and turned to look back at them. "Will you need any help getting home?"

"I think we'll be okay, thank you so much for everything." Castiel murmured, opening the door and carefully getting out before helping Dean out. "I'll see you both later."

"Nice meeting you Dean," Charlie smiled. "Hope you get better soon!"

"Take care of each other, and call if you need us," Dorothy said with a small salute.

"Yeah, thanks. See you around," Dean waved slightly, then turned to get inside and to their apartment with his fiancé.

Castiel let them in. Sam immediately looked up from his spot on the couch. "Oh god, are you guys okay?" he asked, hurrying over.

"Relatively speaking, we're fine. I would like to sleep though, and I'm sure Dean feels the same."

"Yeah... I'd really like to forget about this for a little while," Dean grumbled.

Sam nodded. "Just yell if you need anything, okay?"

Castiel nodded, and walked with Dean to their room, struggling to strip down so he was comfortable. "Dean, I need help," he murmured as he struggled with his shirt.

"Oh, just hang on, I'll help you..." Dean pulled his jeans off, before turning to his fiancé and helping him to get the shirt off.

Castiel let out a soft sigh of relief. "Thanks," he murmured. "I think we're going to have to switch sides...I normally sleep facing you, on my left."

"Yeah, yeah... Whatever you want... I'm not really picky, I just want to lay down," Dean mumbled, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek.

Castiel nodded, and slid into Dean's side of the bed, so he was laying on his right and would be facing Dean. The pillow and covers smelled like his fiancé, and he relaxed.

Dean carefully climbed into bed on Castiel's side, and couldn't help but moan as his head was resting on the pillow. "Sweet baby Jesus, our bed's awesome," he said softly.

"Don't blasphemize," Castiel murmured, although there wasn't any real anger behind the words. His eyes closed, and he extended his good hand to brush against Dean, needing some point of contact between them.

"'m sorry," Dean mumbled, and gently grabbed a hold of Castiel's hand before closing his own eyes. "Sleep well, Cas..."

"Sweet dreams, I love you." Castiel whispered, before sleep claimed him.

"Love you too," Dean replied, before falling asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to bring a sad chapter again :( As you guys now know, we started this story two years ago, and honestly, some things are a surprise to us as well! I had completely forgotten about this chapter until we edited it. On the other hand, I think you guys will enjoy the next chaper! :D
> 
> -Uke


	18. Mr. Fizzles doesn't like it when you blink!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Dean and Castiel get up the next morning, hurting and sore. Dean helps Castiel get dressed for the day, and he ends up going with his fiancé to college that day. While spending time on Castiel's computer while waiting for his class to be done, he ends up meeting the photography major Garth and his companion Mr. Fizzles. It's an awkward encounter. After Castiel gets back from class, they decide to go eat at one of the food places on campus. They meet Charlie and talk to her for a bit, and then they head home. They're both tired and they end up taking a nap, and when they wake up they take a bath together. Things heat up, and despite the soreness and pain, they have some good sex.

Castiel had passed out until the next morning, stirring slightly when the alarm went off. He groaned and shifted, not wanting to get out of bed.

Dean grunted and carefully sat up on the bed, and turned the alarm off. His head was pounding and his neck and shoulders were stiff and sore, and it was with great struggle that he dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom to relieve himself.

Castiel remained in bed, groaning softly, pain spiking through his arm.

"Morning, Cas..." Dean mumbled as he came back into the bedroom.

"Morning...painkillers, please..." he asked weakly.

"Huh... Oh, oh, yeah. Okay." Dean went back to the bathroom, and grabbed the painkillers for Castiel. While he was at it, he took some himself in hopes of at least making his headache ease up, then went back to his fiancé.

Castiel gladly took the painkillers. "Thanks..." he whispered hoarsely.

Dean frowned, and carefully sat on the edge of the bed. Moving too quickly worsened the headache. "You sound and look more terrible than I feel..."

"Just hurts..." Castiel murmured.

"Maybe you should stay home, rest up..."

"I have to get to class, an assignment is due today..." he murmured.

"Oh... Damn. And I can't drive you." Dean sighed.

"It's okay, I'll be fine," he murmured, sitting up carefully.

"You sure about that...?" Dean frowned, clearly worried about Castiel.

Castiel nodded. "Do you want to walk me? You can hang out in the student's center, I only have one class today."

"How long is your class?" Dean asked.

"An hour and fifteen."

"Mh... Not too bad. I'll go with you."

Castiel smiled softly. "You can borrow my laptop and use the school's Internet to keep yourself entertained. I'll lend you my ID as well, to use at the vending machines if you want anything."

"Woo hoo, I can pretend to be a college student for an hour and fifteen," Dean chuckled.

Castiel chuckled, and carefully got out of bed. "Can you help me get my shirt on?" he asked as he pulled out a baggier sweater. The doctors had told him to wear short-sleeved shirt, but of course, he wouldn't.

"Of course, hon." Dean got off the bed, and went over to his fiancé to carefully help him get his sweater on.

Castiel thanked Dean with a kiss, and then moved to slowly pack his schoolbag.

Dean kept a careful eye on Castiel in case he needed more help, and he got dressed himself.

Castiel's movements were slower than usual, and then approached Dean with a sharpie marker. "Here, you should sign this before my classmates decide they want to take the entire thing," he offered his cast to the other.

Dean smiled, and happily took the sharpie. "All right," he said, and gently used one hand to carefully support Castiel's arm while signing his name with the other. "Now... Are you _sure_ you'll be fine? You kinda... Move around like an old man."

"Yes, I just have to adjust to only having the use of one hand. I'm moving slower to remind myself not to slip and hurt myself."

"Oh... Okay." Dean nodded, and leaned closer to give Castiel a kiss.

Castiel kissed back. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean murmured, and smiled.

Castiel smiled as well, and gathered the last of what he needed before slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I'm ready if you are."

Dean patted his pockets, to make sure he had his wallet and phone. "Yeah, I'm ready. Want me to carry your bag for you?"

"If you wouldn't mind?" Castiel asked.

"Not at all. Gimme." Dean made grabby hands at Castiel, and didn't stop until the bag was handed over to him. "All right, now we can go," he said.

Castiel chuckled, and offered Dean his good hand as they started walking.

Dean laced their fingers together, and smiled at his fiancé.

Castiel smiled in return, and kissed Dean's cheek.

The walk itself was pleasant, getting busier and busier the closer they got to campus.

Dean felt nervous as they arrived to campus. He'd never actually been there for real, only dropped Castiel off or picked him up.

Castiel squeezed his hand gently as they slipped onto the campus. It was beautiful, very open, with lots of trees and fountains going. Everywhere, there were displays of students' work, statues and murals. Many of the students had clothes smeared with something, be it paint or graphite or clay.

"Wow... I really don't belong here," Dean murmured as he looked around, feeling as if he stuck out like a sore thumb, even though he didn’t.

Castiel squeezed his hand. "You belong right here, at my side." he murmured. "But it'll be all right. I really appreciate that you came."

Dean chewed on his lip and nodded. "If you say so... And it's no problem."

Castiel led them to the building where his class was. There were quite a few couches and large, comfortable chairs. A few students were lounging, some on computers, and others with sketchbooks. "Just make yourself comfortable, I'll be out as soon as class is finished," he smiled, and gave Dean a kiss, taking his bag and letting Dean take the computer.

"Okay, Cas. Good luck in class, see you later," Dean murmured and kissed back gently. He watched Castiel head off to class, before awkwardly making his way to a chair with Castiel’s computer.

The other students paid Dean no attention, too engrossed in their own projects or computers.

Dean relaxed when he noticed that no one really cared that he was there, and opened the laptop to entertain himself while he waited.

 

About a half an hour later, a skinny man with a large camera tapped his shoulder. "Hello! I know this is really strange, but you have the clearest green eyes out of anyone I've seen, and I was wondering if I could grab a picture of them? My project this year is an eye compilation, one of each different color, and my name is Garth by the way!"

Dean stared at the man that had introduced himself as Garth. "Oh... Uhm... Thank you? And I guess you can... And my name's Dean," he said, not really sure how to react.

Garth grinned. "Awesome!. You, my friend, are a lifesaver." he got his camera ready, and pulled a sock puppet out of his back pocket. "All right, just look at Mr. Fizzles here, and don't blink."

Dean started to seriously wonder about Garth's sanity when he saw the puppet. "... Well Mr. Fizzles sure is a unique fella."

"You're BLLLIIINNNNKKKIIINNNNGGGG," Garth made the sock puppet say as he got his camera ready to take pictures.

Dean stared at the puppet with wide, unblinking eyes. "... The fuck-"

Garth snapped a few pictures. "Perfect!" Garth grinned, putting the puppet away. "So, what are you doing for your project? Or is it a secret?"

Dean blinked, then shook his head. "I'm not a student here. I'm just waiting for my fiancé, who's in class right now."

"Ooohhhh," Garth grinned, sitting in the chair right next to Dean. "What's she look like? I bet you she's gorgeous."

Dean carefully closed the laptop. "Uh... _He's_ attractive, yeah."

Garth didn't even bat an eyelash at the change in pronouns. "Do I know him? What's his name?"

"Castiel Novak. Dark hair, 5'11" something... Piercing, blue eyes."

"Oh! Yeah, I got a pic of his eyes too. They're like the sky personified. He's a cool kid, little quirky, but hey, it's an art school." he shrugged.

"Yeah... You and... Uh, _Mr. Fizzles_ fit the profile spot on. So what's your major? Photography?"

"Yep!" Garth popped the p. "Love it, every moment. Can't wait to actually do something with it. How about you? Where do you go to school?"

Dean chewed on his lip. "Uhm... I... I decided to work instead. I repair and restore cars."

Garth nodded. "No judgement here man, sounds good." he smiled easily.

"Oh. Awesome." Dean sighed in relief and slumped in the chair. "Soooo... Why eyes?"

"Cause they're like, pools to see into someone's soul." Garth replied. "Also, It looks really neat when you organize a bunch of eyes, and watch them shift from one color to the next. There's so many different shades, and they're gorgeous."

Dean nodded slightly as he listened. "Huh... I see - no pun intended," he smiled. "Got any favorite eyes?"

"I'm partial to hazel," he grinned. "And there's one girl who goes here who legitimately has purple eyes. No contacts, some kind of disease. And those, those are gorgeous."

Dean stared. "What? You're kidding me, right? _Purple eyes_? That just _can’t_ be for real..."

"Dead serious. She has Alexandria Genesis." Garth grinned.

"Never heard of it to be honest, but that sounds pretty whack and amazing.”

"Tell me about it," Garth grinned. "Her pictures came out gorgeous. So other than cars and your fiancé, what else do you like to do?"

"I dunno. Spend time with my brother? Eat? Watch porn or anime out of pure boredom like any other guy?" Dean shrugged.

"So that's what you do when you steal my laptop," Castiel's teasing voice came from behind Dean.

Dean jumped and choked on his own breath. "Cas!"

Castiel and Garth both laughed. Castiel leaned over the chair to give Dean a kiss on the cheek. His cast was now halfway colored with doodles and other names from his classmates.

Dean's cheeks turned red in embarrassment, and focused his eyes on Castiel's cast. "Looks like your artsy friends went crazy, huh?"

"They had fun, yes. I see you've met Garth, did he persuade you for a picture of your eyes?"

"Dang straight I did," Garth grinned.

"And I got to meet Mr. Fizzles..." Dean added.

"Don't diss Mr. fizzles, he works!" Garth protested.

Castiel laughed.

"Well... He's not lying. Mr Fizzles did scare me into not blinking,” Dean said.

Garth just laughed. "Well, I've gotta run to class. Sayonara, kimosabes." he waved, before dashing off.

Dean waved after Garth, then he looked at his fiancé. “That guy is _nuts_.”

Castiel laughed. "He's definitely something. But I can't judge him, not when I've spent most of my own life being judged." Castiel was relaxed, clearly in his element at this school, a stark difference from how he was in high school.

Dean took a moment to just admire the sight of his fiancé looking so relaxed and at home. "Mmh... I heard he took a photo of your eyes, too."

"Are you really surprised?" Castiel chuckled. "You're always telling me how beautiful they are."

"Nah, the only thing I'm surprised about is that he wanted a photo of my eyes." Dean smiled as he stood up.

"You shouldn't be, they're a beautiful green. Almost like chips of emeralds," Castiel smiled, giving Dean a kiss.

Dean returned the kiss. "You artsy people sure are making me question my career. Maybe I should've become a male model instead..."

"No," Castiel replied. "I'm the only one that gets to see you like that," he whispered.

"Well someone's a bit possessive..." Dean smiled, then kissed Castiel again. "But ok. No modeling career."

Castiel smiled softly. "Want to get lunch at the courtyard, or would you rather go home?"

"Let's get some lunch. I'm starting to get hungry. _Really_ hungry." Dean stood up, and reached for Castiel’s bag.

Castiel chuckled, and let Dean take his bag again, lacing their fingers together as they walked to the courtyard. "There's a few different choices for food, there's a McDonalds, a Pizza Hut, an asian place, and a Latin cafe."

"Ooh, a Latin cafe? Do you know if the food is any good?" 

Castiel nodded. "It's really good, I'm partial to the Ropa Vieja." he said the name with a perfect accent.

Dean pouted at his fiancé's perfect accent. "Then let's go there."

"Sounds good to me," Castiel smiled, leading them to the line for said cafe. A lot of students were grabbing lunch then, so the courtyard was crowded and busy.

Dean made a face. "I'm so glad I'm not a college student... It's so crowded."

"And this is a smaller school than most," Castiel pointed out. There were a few other couples walking by, and of all different sexualities. For once, the two of them did not stand out as the only gay couple.

Dean looked around for a bit, taking in the sight of all the people around them, until they arrived at the cafe. "Huh. Looks pretty nice."

"It is," Castiel hummed in agreement, moving to the counter to place his order, looking at Dean after he had finished.

Dean decided to order the same thing as Castiel.

Castiel paid, and they both waited for their food. Once they got it, Castiel led them to a free table, sitting down. The Ropa Vieja was shredded beef, slow cooked with spices and vegetables until the beef was tender.

"This smell and look amazing," Dean murmured, and waited for Castiel to pray.

Castiel smiled, and prayed softly before they started to eat. "It is very good," he murmured.

Dean hummed in agreement. "Yeah, man... It really is awesome."

Castiel smiled happily. As they continued t eat, a pair of hands folded themselves over Dean's eyes. "Guess who?" a happy, feminine voice laughed in his ear. Castiel chuckled as well.

Dean tensed up, then relaxed slowly. "Could it be a certain red haired nerd that I know, or am I making a fool out of myself again?”

"I embrace the nerd title proudly," Charlie grinned, letting Dean go. "Strange to see you here on campus, having a lunch date?"

"Actually, I was just supposed to walk Cas to class... Then I got my eyes photographed, and now here we are."

Charlie laughed. "Garth got you too, huh?"

Dean nodded. "Mhmm, he and Mr. Fizzles," he said between bites.

Charlie laughed, and pulled up a chair to join them. "So, how are you two doing after yesterday?"

Castiel shrugged. "It's hard feeling much in my arm, which I should appreciate. Also hard to remember I only have the use of one hand."

"My forehead's not so swollen anymore, but there's a constant dull ache in my head. How're you doing, then?" Dean looked at Charlie.

"Just some stitches,I have to be careful not to pull them," Charlie replied. "At least it was only bumps, cuts, and a small broken bone. How's your car looking?"

Dean sighed and poked at his food. "It's not the worst condition Baby's been in, but it'll take a while to repair..."

"The other guy's insurance will cover about 700$ worth of the damage." Charlie replied. "I talked to him while you two were going to the hospital."

Dean scowled. "Well, that's better than nothing."

Castiel reached across to take Dean's hand and squeeze it. "You'll be able to fix her." he murmured.

"I know, I know... It's just... It's not fun, when it's my own car. I've put so much time on her, and then someone just..." Dean took a deep breath.

Castiel squeezed his hand gently.

Charlie pat his shoulder. "She'll look better than before once you're done with her."

Dean huffed. "Yeah. Let's hope so."

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand again before letting go to finish eating.

Dean quietly continued to eat, and didn't say anything until he was done. "That was really good."

Castiel nodded. "I love eating here," he smiled.

Charlie nodded in agreement. "Good food, good company." She grinned. "Well, I've gotta get to class, see you later, bitches." She flashed them the "live long and prosper" sign.

"Later, Charlie," Dean said with a small wave, then turned back to Castiel.

Castiel got up, taking his plate over to the trash can before returning to grab Dean's. "Let's head home and just relax, how does that sound?" Castiel asked.

Dean nodded as he stood up to do the same, then grabbed Castiel's bag. "Yeah... I could really go for a nap."

“Sounds good to me," Castiel replied, taking Dean's hand in his and guiding him through campus until they were off, the walk home now almost a straight shot.

 

Dean yawned as they reached their apartment building, and the walk up the stairs was slower than usual.

Castiel took his own set of keys and let them in, yawning as well. He went to the kitchen and retrieved some painkillers, taking them before joining Dean in the bedroom.

Dean had put Castiel's bag on the floor in the bedroom, and was already sprawled out on the bed when Castiel came into the bedroom. His headache was back, but with some sleep it’d be better he hoped.

Castiel smiled at the sight, and crawled into bed, not bothering to get undressed as he climbed into the bed, his casted arm resting on top of Dean's stomach as he curled up next to his fiancé.

Dean sniffed and sighed softly as Castiel settled on the bed, not even bothering to open his eyes. It didn't take long until he fell asleep, exhausted despite not having done much.

Castiel fell asleep not much later, and when he woke up a few hours later, Dean was still passed out. He shifted slightly, and rolled over, stretching. He carefully got out of bed, and moved to start a bath running.

Dean rolled over onto his stomach just moments after Castiel had gotten off the bed, and buried his face into the pillow, still asleep.

Castiel went back into the room, and smiled softly at the sight. As the bath filled, he went to the kitchen to get something to drink.

Slowly, Dean started to wake up. He yawned and stretched, before carefully sitting up on the bed. His head was hurting, but it was nothing like when he’d woken up that morning. "Mmh... Cas?"

Castiel walked back into the bedroom. "I'm right here. I'm starting a bath for you, I figured you could use one," he smiled.

Dean blinked. "... A bath? For me?" he asked. "But what about you?"

"Can't get my cast wet," Castiel replied. "But if you help me wrap it in plastic, I can join you."

Dean nodded, and rubbed at his eyes. "Yeah, sure. I'll help you." He got up and went into the bathroom to grab painkillers while Castiel grabbed the plastic wrap.

Castiel nodded, and returned with some plastic wrap from the kitchen. He slowly undressed with Dean's help, and then gave Dean his arm to wrap the cast in plastic.

Dean was careful as he worked on wrapping Castiel's cast with the plastic. "It's been a while since we had a bath together."

"It has been," Castiel murmured. "And I don't think we've had one together here yet."

"Don't think so either... Heh. Remember when I broke my ribs and you had to help me into the bathtub?"

Castiel chuckled at the memory. "And we were both so embarrassed that you were naked. And now I've had you inside of me more times than I can count."

"Mhmm. It's a nice change, though. Now I can touch you all I want, naked or dressed, and no one's embarrassed," Dean grinned.

Castiel smiled back, and leaned in for a kiss as Dean finished wrapping his cast. "You're a little too clothed for a bath," he teased.

"I know. Give me a moment and I'll have that fixed," Dean said, and kissed Castiel in return. He took a step back, and started to slowly undress.

Castiel licked his lips, his eyes on Dean's skin as it was slowly revealed.

Dean chuckled as he caught the look on Castiel's face, and gave his fiancé another kiss when he was completely naked.

Castiel used his free hand to pull Dean in, keeping the kiss long, and nipping at his lower lip once he let go. "You are unfairly attractive." he murmured, standing up, having already been naked. His cock was swollen slightly, but he wasn't completely hard.

"Says you, with your pink lips and sinfully sexy hipbones," Dean murmured as he looked Castiel over while putting his hands on Castiel's waist.

Castiel smirked, and leaned in to kiss Dean again, running his hand over Dean's pecs and muscled torso. "Yes, I do say that." he whispered. "We should get in the bath before we never make it there."

Dean hummed and pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek. "All right, all right. Let's get into the bath. I just hope I won't get sleepy again," he said, and let go of Castiel so they could go into the bathroom.

Castiel let Dean settle into the warm water first, before he gave Dean his arms to help him carefully into the bathtub.

Dean smiled as he helped Castiel get into the bath. "This was a great idea, Cas."

Castiel smiled, and settled in between Dean's legs, relaxing into his fiance's arms. "Mmm...it was." he murmured, careful to keep his cast on the edge of the tub.

Dean had his arms loosely wrapped around Castiel's middled, and he pressed a hand flat against Castiel's stomach.

Castiel's muscles rippled under Dean's hand, and he smiled softly, his head resting against Dean's shoulder.

Dean smiled and rubbed his hand over Castiel's belly, loving the feel of the soft naked skin against his hand.

Castiel was quiet for a moment. "Do you regret that you'll never feel a growing child under my stomach?" he asked softly.

"Huh?" The question honestly surprised Dean. "... Is this one of those "won't you miss women" questions?"

Castiel sighed, looking down. "It's just...you'll never be able to feel your child growing inside of me. You'll never have that miracle, experience that. I've accepted that truth a very long time ago, but..." he sighed again. "You've only been with me for a year, and with women almost all the other 18 years of your life."

Dean pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's cheek. "That's true, Cas... But think of it like this. While we can't have biological children together... We don't have to deal with mood swings, swollen ankles, morning sickness, and all things that are gross in a pregnancy. And women doesn't matter. I'm attracted to you, and I love you, and no one can change that just because they have tits and the ability to give biological babies."

Castiel closed his eyes, and his face nuzzled into Dean's neck. "I love you, Dean. Really and truly." he whispered.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean said softly, and smiled. "... So, can I continue to pet your belly or is it a no-no?"

Castiel chuckled. "If you would like to," he replied softly. "My body is yours, it always has been."

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can do whatever without your consent," Dean mumbled, rubbing Castiel's stomach again.

Castiel smiled softly. "I give you blanket consent," he murmured. "If I'm uncomfortable or not in the mood, I'll tell you. I promise."

Dean kissed Castiel's shoulder. "Sounds good to me," he said.

Castiel smiled, and let out a soft, happy sigh, running his fingers softly and gently over Dean's arm.

Dean smiled against Castiel's shoulder, and started tracing lazy patterns on Castiel's skin with his index finger.

Castiel smiled in return, and he started to slowly rock his hips against Dean's.

Dean chuckled. "Is someone getting in the mood?" he murmured, and started nipping and then sucking a mark into the skin on Castiel's shoulder.

"If I recall, we were engaged again yesterday, and we never got to celebrate." Castiel whispered, tilting his head to give Dean room. "And you didn't help any, with that strip tease earlier..."

"Oh, you caught onto that huh?" Dean smiled as he kissed Castiel's neck. "Yeah... I guess we should celebrate. It's only right to do that when you get engaged."

"I think so," Castiel whispered, his hand coming up to caress Dean's cheek.

Dean licked a long strip of skin along Castiel's neck, then peppered his neck with kisses.

Castiel shivered in Dean's arms, letting out a soft noise. His hand slipped down his own torso, taking his cock in hand and stroking, feeling it harden.

Dean started sucking a mark onto one of Castiel's more sensitive spots, and moved one of his hands up to rub over Castiel's chest.

Castiel shivered and moaned. "Dean..." he whispered, the warm water adding to his arousal.

"Mmh... You getting all hot and bothered for me, honey?" Dean murmured, brushing his fingers over one of Castiel's nipples.

Castiel gasped softly. "Yes..." he whispered, his hand still working his erection.

Dean slid his other hand lower, and ran it along Castiel's inner thigh. He pressed his own, growing erection against Castiel.

Castiel whimpered softly, and pressed back against Dean, feeling his erection against his ass. "I want you to take me from behind today," he whispered.

Dean stilled for a moment. "... You sure about that?" he asked softly.

Castiel nodded. "I trust you," he murmured. "But, if you don't want to, if you had other plans, that's all right too."

Dean shook his head. "No, I want to make you feel good, and if that's what you want, then I'll give it to you," he murmured.

Castiel shuddered softly. "We'll have to take another bath later, I think." he whispered.

"Yeah... For now, I think it's for the better if we get out and get more comfortable," Dean replied.

Castiel nodded, and carefully stood up with Dean's help, getting out and grabbing a towel.

Dean got out, and stood by his fiancé to help him dry off.

Castiel looked up at Dean, before he sighed. "Crap...I can't. I can't support myself with this," he nodded at his cast, realizing too late that Dean couldn't take him from behind.

Dean frowned slightly. "Oooh... Yeah... But there are alternatives. You don't have to be on all four."

"Like?" Castiel asked, tilting his head quizzically.

"Well... You could... Uhm. I could always lay on my back, and you could lay on top of me. Chest to back."

Castiel thought about it, and nodded. "We can try," he agreed, leaning up to kiss Dean, soft and slow.

Dean smiled, and kissed back gently. "But you better tell me if you start to hurt in any way..,"

"Promise," Castiel replied, dropping his towel and walking to the bedroom, his hips swaying alluringly.

Dean stared after his fiancé, and chewed on his lip. He quickly dried himself off with dry towel, before dropping it and joining Castiel in the bedroom.

Castiel was laid out on the bed, slowly working his hand around himself and letting out a soft noise as Dean came in from the bathroom.

Dean actually moaned at the sight. "Such a pretty tease, aren't you?" he said, and went to make sure that their door was properly closed before moving over to the bed.

Castiel just gave Dean a cheeky smile, looking up at him. He teased the head of his cock, thumb smearing the precome before he brought his hand up to his mouth to lick it off.

Dean snorted softly in amusement, then leaned down to press a kiss to Castiel's lips when his hand was out of the way. He then straightened up, and got the lube and a condom from the nightstand.

Castiel smiled up at him, and reached down to start stroking Dean, squeezing gently.

Dean shuddered, and looked back down at Castiel. "You wanna lay on your good side for me, honey? So I can prep you?" Dean smiled at the sight, and gently caressed Castiel's thigh. "So gorgeous," he murmured, letting his eyes roam over Castiel's body.

Castiel shifted and spread his legs, his entrance visible. It was slightly open already, considering they had had sex a few times recently, and he hadn't closed up completely.

Dean smiled at the sight, and gently caressed Castiel's thigh. "So gorgeous," he murmured, letting his eyes roam over Castiel's body.

Castiel shivered at the touch, and at the eyes he knew were roaming his body. "Dean..." he whispered, his hole twitching slightly.

Dean moved his hand to gently rub his thumb over Castiel's entrance. "Man, Cas... You should see yourself..."

Castiel whined softly, a shudder passing through his body. "Dean, please..." he asked, pressing his hips back against Dean's thumb.

"All right, hon... But one day I'm gonna lay you out on our bed and just admire you for hours," Dean said softly, and gently patted Castiel's ass before picking up the lube and pouring some into his hand.

Castiel smiled softly. "On our honeymoon, you can." he whispered. "But right now, I need you."

Dean leaned over to press a kiss to Castiel's shoulder. "Okay," he replied softly, and slicked his fingers with the lube. He rubbed them over Castiel's hole, before pressing one finger inside.

Castiel's breath hitched and he let out a soft moan. "Dean..." he whispered, clenching slightly around Dean's finger.

Dean licked his lips, and gently rub Castiel's thigh. "I got you," he murmured, pressing his finger all the way inside and moving it around to loosen Castiel up a bit, before pushing in a second.

Castiel steadily relaxed around Dean's fingers, and he rocked his hips back into the touch, panting. "Need you..." he whispered.

Dean didn't stop prepping Castiel until he'd worked his fiancé up to three fingers, then he finally pulled his fingers out. He opened the foil of the condom, then made quick work of rolling it onto his erection. He laid down behind Castiel and wrapped one arm around his middle. "So, I... I'm gonna push inside, then carefully roll us onto our backs, okay?"

Castiel nodded, shuddering slightly at the feeling. But his mind was filled with Dean, and not from the beatings and rape. He was ready for this.

Dean gave himself a few strokes, slicking his length up with the remaining lube on his hand. He then shifted and lined up, then gently started to push inside, not stopping until he was all the way inside. He moaned softly into Castiel's shoulder, and let him get used to the feeling before wrapping both arms around him, then carefully rolled onto his back and bringing Castiel with him.

Castiel shuddered as he took Dean completely inside, and when they shifted positions, he moaned loudly, the new angle feeling different. He panted softly, trying to press his hips down, Dean not as deep as usual.

"Ugh, fuck... Cas, your ass feels so good pressed against me like that," Dean murmured, and rolled his hips experimentally, before shifting and bracing his feet against the bed.

Castiel shuddered, and started to slowly grind his hips down, one hand coming down to brace himself against the sheets.

Dean grabbed Castiel's hips, but didn't stop him from moving. Instead he peppered Castiel's neck with kisses, then shifted against before starting to slowly pull out, then slowly pushed back in.

Castiel let out a stilted moan, shivering under Dean's kisses. "Dean....Dean..." he whispered his lover's name, his muscles rippling as he worked himself over Dean's cock.

Dean groaned against Castiel's skin, his grip tight on Castiel's hips. It took a bit of work to find a good way to move his hips, but ended up thrusting in slow, short motions.

Castiel rocked his hips into Dean's thrusts, the feeling so different from usual, and it felt good, very good. 

"Feel so good, Cas," Dean murmured, nipping at Castiel's neck.

"I love you, Dean'" Castiel whispered, starting to pick up the pace of his hips, inviting Dean to speed up.

"I love you, Castiel," Dean whispered back, and picked up the pace to match Castiel's.

Castiel shivered at hearing Dean say his name, and he let out a loud moan. "Dean.... While this position is fun, I'm not going to come like this." he murmured.

Dean chuckled softly. "Wanna get into our usual position?" he asked.

Castiel nodded, and carefully lifted himself off of Dean, feeling empty when his erection slipped out.

Dean moved away from his spot and sat up. He let Castiel get comfortable, before moving between his legs and lining up again, then gently pushed his erection back into the heat of Castiel's body.

Castiel shuddered, this position familiar and _good_. He panted, and arced his head back.

Dean thrust in and out of his fiancé with ease, and watched Castiel. "Gosh... I'm so lucky," he murmured. "You're so beautiful..."

Castiel reached a hand up to pull Dean down into a searing kiss, the boiling heat building and building, until Dean thrust into his prostate and he spasmed, clenching around Dean tightly.

Dean let out a shaky groan as Castiel clenched around him, momentarily breaking the kiss. "Oh fuck, fuck," he whispered, then kissed Castiel again, and picked up the pace as he felt himself getting closer to the edge.

Castiel was trembling as Dean nailed his prostate over and over, crying out into Dean' mouth. "Close… Close close close...."

"Me too," Dean replied, panting as he gripped Castiel's hips tightly, thrusting hard into his fiancé.

Castiel shuddered hard and clenched down as he came over their stomachs, his hand grabbing a handful of Dean's hair as he cried out.

Dean hips stuttered, and he pressed his hips flush against Castiel, the clench around his erection being enough to send him over the edge right after Castiel. He groaned as he filled the condom.

Castiel slumped back into the bed, letting go of Dean's hair and panting, lips slightly parted.

Dean carefully pulled out of Castiel. He removed the condom and tied it off, struggling slightly but managing.

Castiel kept his eyes on Dean, feeling boneless and blissed out. "I love you," He whispered.

Dean was tired and his head was started to hurt bad again, but he still smiled and leaned over to give Castiel a kiss. "I love you too, hon," he murmured.

Castiel kissed him back, happy that he was with the love of his life.


	19. One year, many more to go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Castiel and Dean's one year anniversary is a good one. Castiel, despite only having one good arm for the time being, makes breakfast in bed for his boyfriend. While Dean eats, Castiel brings out a gift. It's a jacket that Dean loves. After they both eat breakfast, Dean tells Castiel what he has planned, and then they wash the dishes and shower. The go out and walk around, looking at shops and then eating a light lunch at a café(Dean's treat). After that they go home, Sam having left to go to a friend's place for the night which means they are alone, and Dean brings out what he's bought. He gives his boyfriend a massage, and then they use the sex toy he bought and they have amazing sex. Castiel ends up taking a nap while Dean prepares a bath, and for the rest of the day they just relax.
> 
>  **KINKS**  
>  Top!Castiel(only mentioned), cock ring, slightly delayed orgasm, gentle face fucking.

Another week passed, and Castiel woke up early, sneaking out of bed to make bacon and pancakes for Dean, for their one year anniversary. He had a present wrapped and hiding in the corner of their closet, which he would give to Dean later.

Dean didn't react at all as Castiel got out of bed and just continued to sleep peacefully, curled up and buried under the covers. He had recovered almost completely from the accident, but he did get headaches pretty easily.

Castiel smiled at the sight, and made breakfast. He tried to stick to easy things that he could make with one hand, settling on bacon and pancakes. He put a plate together and took it into their room, shaking Dean's shoulder gently. "Dean...Dean, wake up." he murmured softly.

"Nooo," Dean whined sleepily as he was woken up, and buried himself further under to covers.

Castiel smiled, and kissed the top of Dean's head. "But I made you breakfast, and it's our anniversary." he murmured.

Dean hesitantly pulled the covers down. "I... You made me breakfast?" he asked. "Man, you're awesome."

Castiel smiled, and gave Dean the plate, kissing his temple. "I know it isn't Chinese, but it'll have to do."

Dean chuckled as he sat up and took the plate. "We'll just have to eat Chinese later, or some other time," he said.

Castiel smiled, and settled down by Dean's side. His cast was no longer white; his friends and classmates had covered it in pretty drawings, mainly of angel wings or little angels. He said a quick prayer so Dean could eat, and smiled at him. "Happy Anniversary."

Dean kissed Castiel on the lips. "Happy Anniversary," he said with a big smile, and started to eat. "Mmh, this is delicious. Have you already eaten?"

Castiel shook his head. "My plate's in the oven, I just wanted to make you breakfast in bed." he smiled widely back. "It's hard to believe that it was only a year ago, I had no one. And then today, I finally found a family."

Dean grinned. "Yeah... Gosh. It's been a long year, but at the same time... It's only been a year. Yeah, it's really hard to believe."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again. "But we'll have many more anniversaries to celebrate." he murmured.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, that's true... We'll be having wedding anniversaries. I look forward to those."

Castiel smiled at Dean. "Eight more months," he murmured. "And then we'll be married."

Dean leaned close and pressed a slow, sweet kiss to Castiel's lips. "I can't wait," he whispered.

Castiel kissed him back. "I can't either." he murmured. "I did get you something, let me get it." he smiled, and got out of bed to go to the closet. "Close your eyes."

Dean blinked. "Oh, okay." He put the plate aside, and then closed his eyes. "It must be an awesome gift."

"I hope you like it," Castiel replied, sitting back onto the bed and putting a wrapped gift into Dean's lap. Inside the paper, there was a brand new leather jacket, black and with lots of pockets.

Dean opened his eyes and looked down at the gift, and poked at it. "Huh..." He carefully started to unwrap it, and stared in awe at the jacket as he picked it up and held it in front of him, getting a good look at it. "... Woah, Cas. This... I'm sorry, but- _Holy shit_. This is awesome!"

Castiel smiled widely and happily. "I'm glad you like it." he smiled, kissing Dean's cheek.

Dean turned so that he could kiss Castiel on the lips. "I love it," he said. "Thank you so much, Cas."

Castiel smiled into the kiss. "It's no problem." he whispered. "I'm just happy you like it, truly."

Dean grinned. "I'm gonna have to try it on, later," he murmured, and kissed Castiel again.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean back happily, running his fingers through the other's hair.

"You're the best," Dean murmured against Castiel's lips.

Castiel nipped at Dean's lower lip. "You're one to talk," he murmured back.

"What? I haven't done anything, yet," Dean chuckled softly, and placed a hand on Castiel's lower back.

"You've done everything for me," Castiel murmured back, kissing Dean again.

"Mmh... Not really. I've only done the things I can do," Dean said softly, and kissed Castiel deeply.

When the kiss broke, Castiel took Dean's hand and rubbed his thumb over the ring. "You're my reason for a reason." he murmured, pressing their foreheads together.

Dean smiled lovingly as he looked at their hands, then looked at Castiel. "I love being your reason. Else we wouldn't be here," he murmured.

Castiel kissed him again. "I almost missed out on this. On this perfection that is you." he whispered. "But I didn't, God made sure I found you. And I am grateful."

Dean huffed softly. "I'm not perfect," he murmured, rubbing his thumb over Castiel's back.

"You're perfect for me," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean's cheek.

Dean's cheeks turned pink. "If you say so," he replied.

Castiel just smiled, and his stomach growled. "I should eat breakfast too," he murmured, although he didn't want to get up.

Dean smiled and nodded. "You should. And we should discuss what to do today, 'cause I had a plan, but since you're injured..." He chewed on his lip.

Castiel nodded, and got up, giving Dean his hand and walking to the kitchen, where a messy-haired Sam was eating. "Happy anniversary you two," he greeted.

"Thanks, Sammy," Dean replied, and put away his empty plate. "Nice bed hair you've got there, by the way."

Sam stuck his tongue out at his brother as Castiel retrieved his own plate, praying and eating.

Pirate soon appeared, and jumped up on a chair, then up on the table. Dean shook his head and scratched the kitten behind the ear. "What are you doing today, Sam?"

"It's Saturday, I was thinking of hanging out with a few friends from school, maybe crash at their house so you two have the apartment to yourselves." Sam replied.

Daenerys, meanwhile, was trying to sneak some bacon from Castiel's plate.

Dean nodded. "All right, sounds good. You got any money or do you need some? Just in case you end up going out, or something."

"I have ten bucks," Sam replied, finishing his breakfast.

"Dany, no!" Castiel scolded the kitten, pushing her down from the counter where she was trying to steal food.

"Okay, that's good-" Dean stopped, and turned to look at Castiel, then laughed. "She being a little devil?"

"Just a little," Castiel replied. Daenerys then proceeded to go up to Dean and rub against his legs, purring.

Dean smiled and picked up Daenerys, and chuckled as she bumped her head against his jaw. "It's a good thing you're cute, miss."

Castiel smiled at the sight. "So, what did you have planned for today? We can maybe still do a part of it at least."

Dean chewed on his lip. "I'm treating you to lunch, and the rest I'll tell you about later," he said, not wanting to discuss it with Sam around.

Castiel nodded. "Sounds good to me," he smiled softly.

"Annnnd, that's my cue." Sam chuckled, petting Pirate before going to his own room to get ready for the day.

Dean smiled, and moved closer to Castiel. "I had planned a day with just the two of us... Going out for lunch, then coming home... I was thinking of giving you a massage, fix you a bath, then we'd order food and watch a movie... Then I would've suggested that you top when we go to bed tonight, 'cause I got a little something for you... But I dunno how well all that would work, now."

"All of that sounds good to me," Castiel smiled. "And we can order Chinese for dinner," he winked. "As for that last part...we'll see. I can top from the bottom, if I had you on top of me." he pointed out.

Dean smiled too. "Really? Phew... Then everything might go according to plan, anyway," he grinned. "Though... I love sex with you, no matter who's doing what and what we're doing." He gave Castiel a kiss.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean back. "I love sex with you as well," he murmured. "Well, since we just ate, I'm going to grab a shower. You're free to join me, but hands off until tonight," he winked.

Dean pouted. "I guess I better not join you, then... Don't think I can keep my hands off my sexy fiancé," he murmured, trailing his fingers up Castiel's thigh as if to prove a point.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean deeply for a bit before letting go to grab his shower.

Dean smiled to himself, and while he waited for Castiel to finish, he entertained himself by cleaning up a bit and taking care of the cats.

When Castiel emerged, he was dressed fairly nicely, his hair still damp. He hadn't shaved, so there was still stubble, and he had put on a little cologne.

Dean grinned as he saw Castiel, and whistled lowly. "Hey there, hot stuff, you come here often?"

"I live here," Castiel pointed out, it going over his head like remarks and jokes occasionally did.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. "Never change," he murmured, and gave Castiel a quick kiss on the cheek. "Mmh... You smell good. Hopefully I'll smell just as good when I'm done showering."

Castiel smiled. "You always smell good," he replied, kissing Dean's lips and going to sit on the couch and sketch while Dean showered, both kittens curling up with him.

Dean took the time to enjoy his shower since there wasn't any reason to rush. He let his stubble be, put on a little cologne himself and then dressed up nicely, and put on the jacket he got from Castiel.

Castiel was drawing an angel reaching for something out of frame when Dean came out, and he smiled. "It looks good on you," he murmured, eyes raking over Dean's form.

"It sure makes me look like a bad boy, doesn't it?" Dean grinned and winked.

Castiel chuckled, setting his things down and getting up to embrace Dean. "It makes me want to do unspeakable things to you," he replied.

"When your cast is off, I'll let you do whatever you want," Dean promised, wrapping his arms around Castiel.

"Mmm...you smell good," Castiel mumbled, his face in Dean's neck.

"Just as good as you do, I hope," Dean chuckled.

Castiel smiled softly. "Did you have a restaurant in mind?"

"Not really, but there are plenty in the area. We can walk around, see if we find something? If we don't, there's always that café close to the store that we haven't been to. It's not a restaurant, but... Yeah."

"Sounds good to me," Castiel smiled, kissing Dean's neck before giving him his hand. "Why don't we just walk around until we get hungry?" he suggested.

"Yeah, let's do that." Dean smiled, and stole a kiss from Castiel while lacing their fingers together.

Castiel smiled, and leaned up to steal a kiss right back as he grabbed their keys, careful of the cats as they left the apartment.

Dean made a happy noise as they got outside. "Wonderful, wonderful air," he said, smiling.

Castiel chuckled. "You need to get out more," he teased as they started walking.

"Probably should. But I dunno if I can bothered. I'm pretty content borrowing your laptop to watch anime." Dean grinned.

"And porn?" Castiel teased.

"Yeeeaaah... That does happen. Heh. Let's say it's for educational purposes. ... Which isn't really a lie."

Castiel just laughed. "I've enjoyed everything you've learned over the past year, so I can't exactly be mad."

Dean smiled. "It's funny to think that I knew basically nothing about gay sex until we got together."

"Did you at least know what hole to put it in?" Castiel teased.

Dean chuckled and nodded. "Yeah, I did."

Castiel chuckled, and squeezed Dean's hand softly. "It does take research. I did mine in middle school, when I realized that I didn't like girls the way everyone else did."

"... Hehe, yeah... Man. It sure was embarrassing when you caught me looking around while using your laptop, that first time," Dean mumbled. "Though... Middle school? How did you react to it, back then?" 

"It turned out for the best, though." Castiel pointed out. "As for me, it was a little surprising, but I accepted it when I saw that watching straight porn did absolutely nothing for me."

Dean nodded. "It is kinda... Weird to think about it. At least at first. I mean. Putting your dick in someone's ass, or having someone's dick in your ass... When I first heard about it, it kinda... Scared me, actually."

"I was scared too, our first time," Castiel admitted. "But you were so gentle and caring, and you made it really good for me."

"The actual sex was good, but I can't say that prepping you and the aftermath was fun..." Dean shuddered at the memory. "I'm so glad we don't have to deal with that again."

Castiel's brow furrowed slightly. "Do you not enjoy prepping me?" he asked softly.

"Wow, wow- that's not what I meant," Dean said. "I do enjoy it. In fact, I love it. But that first time... I was so scared that I would hurt you that any sign of discomfort sort of made me want to just... Stop."

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand gently. "You won't have to worry about it again, I'm sure. I doubt we'll go through a dry spell long enough for me to ever be that tight again."

Dean sighed softly, and gently stroked Castiel's thumb with his own. "I really hope not... But at least we've got experience now, so I don't think it would be as bad. Or rather, I won't freak out like I did back then."

Castiel nodded. "Besides, I would probably just finger myself open." he teased, bumping Dean's shoulder playfully.

Dean pouted. "But that's _my_ job," he complained, and lifted his other hand to 'boop' Castiel's nose. "Though... I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I got to watch you while you did it."

Castiel scrunched up his face as Dean booped his nose. "Fine, fine." he chuckled, squeezing Dean's hand again. "But I get to prep you tonight," he murmured, his voice lowering.

Dean gently chewed on his bottom lip, then nodded. "Fine by me," he replied, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's ear, then softly blew on it.

Castiel shivered at the feeling, and gave Dean a soft smile.

Dean grinned in return. "So, Cas. How's your school project coming along?"

"It's coming along. I'm about halfway done, I have seven out of fifteen pieces completed." Castiel replied.

"Oh. Sounds awesome. I bet you'll get to show your work at that... Exhibition thing your school's going to have."

Castiel flushed slightly. "I doubt it, this is only my first semester." he pointed out. "This show happens every single fall semester, and the whole school goes for it."

"But you're great at what you do, and I bet you're better than most artists," Dean said.

Castiel blushed at the compliment."Thank you, but I'm nowhere near as good as a lot of people. And only one artist per category makes it."

Dean huffed softly. "I still think you're better than most," he mumbled, gently squeezing Castiel's hand.

Castiel smiled and squeezed back. "Oh, by the way, I found a good hotel right on the beach for our honeymoon. I'll show you the website when we get home."

Dean beamed at that. "Awesome. Man, I really can't wait until we get married. Gonna be amazing."

Castiel smiled. "It is indeed," he replied, kissing Dean's cheek.

"And if you don’t end up modeling it for me, I will finally get to see you in the white suit,” Dean added. Castiel had shown him the suit, but because of the accident they didn’t see a reason to struggle to get Castiel in it.

Castiel chuckled. "You're still sore that I took Sam shopping and not you, aren't you?"

Dean stuck his tongue out at him. "Maaaaybe."

"It wouldn't be as satisfying if you saw me try on ten different white suits, instead of just the one I was going to wed you in, now would it?" he pointed out.

"I always find it nice to look at you while you're getting dressed and undressed, though." Dean grinned.

Castiel snorted softly. "Still. You'll be the one to undress me from the white suit," he pointed out.

Dean snickered. "I know. I look forward to that, too," he said, still grinning.

Castiel chuckled, and squeezed Dean's hand as the continued walking down the sidewalk, looking at the windows of the little shops.

Dean started swinging their arms slightly. "If you see anything that looks interesting, we could go inside if you want," he murmured.

Castiel smiled and nodded. "Same to you," he murmured.

Dean nodded, and kissed Castiel on the cheek.

Castiel smiled, and they continued walking. Castiel paused as they passed a small faith based store, with crosses and angels and bibles all over the walls.

Dean stopped, and took a good look at what had caught Castiel's interest. "... You wanna take a look?"

"I'm okay, it was just interesting to look at." Castiel replied. He didn't want to make Dean uncomfortable, knowing that while he didn't mind Castiel's level of faith and giving him rides to church and back every Sunday, Dean himself didn't believe and hated when people tried to shove their beliefs down other's throats.

"You sure? I really don't mind. I can wait outside while you take a look," Dean said. He wouldn't force Castiel to do anything, but his fiancé had shown interest in the store, and he thought that a little push wouldn't hurt.

Castiel hesitated for a moment, although he clearly wanted to look. "If you're sure..."

Dean smiled, and kissed Castiel on the cheek. "I'm sure. Go on, hon. I'll be right here."

Castiel smiled back, and let go of Dean's hand to go into the shop.

Dean watched Castiel disappear into the shop, and fished his phone out of his pocket to entertain himself while waiting.

Castiel came out a few minutes later, a small, bag in hand.

Dean smiled and put his phone away. "So you found something nice?"

Castiel grinned, and handed Dean the bag. Inside was a small figurine, of an angel with pure white wings, black hair, and shocking blue eyes. "Look at the bottom."

Dean stared at the figurine in surprise, and carefully picked it up to see what Castiel wanted him to see.

The engraving on the bottom read "Castiel: Angel of Thursday."

Dean laughed at that. "Not only does it look like you, but it actually _is_ you, sort of."

"I couldn't not buy it," Castiel chuckled.

"We need to find a good place for it when we get home.” Dean put the figure back into the bag and then gave it to Castiel.

Castiel nodded, and slung the bag over his cast, lacing their fingers back together again.

Dean smiled, and gently squeezed Castiel's hand. "So... I'm starting to get a bit hungry. What about you?"

"Same." Castiel replied. "We should start looking for a good place."

"Yeah, we should," Dean said as they started walking.

Castiel smiled, happy to be spending time with Dean, still thinking about how a year ago, his life had completely changed. "I don't regret being beat into the lockers, that day." he murmured. "If that hadn't had happened, I dint think we would have become nearly as close as quickly as we did."

Dean smiled too. "Yeah... That's true. Though, I am happy that we never have to deal with any of that shit again. Hopefully no one else will have to experience it, either..."

Castiel nodded, squeezing Dean's hand. "I love you," he murmured. "Forever and always."

Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek. "I love you too, Cas," he replied softly.

Castiel smiled. "So, what kind of food do you feel like?" he asked.

"Well... If we're eating Chinese later, then maybe something... Not so heavy? If you suggest eating a salad then I will pinch you."

Castiel laughed. "How about a café or a coffee shop then? The sandwiches they offer are normally light."

Dean huffed, then smiled softly. "Yeah, sounds good. And I promise I'll treat you to a fancy dinner or lunch some other time."

Castiel smiled, and leaned up to kiss Dean. "I'm happy and content with this." he murmured.

"Okay... But I still gotta spoil my favorite person every now and then," Dean said, and kissed back gently.

Castiel blushed. "You spoil me all the time," he murmured. "And you're definitely going to spoil me when we get home."

Dean grinned. "Yeah. I like spoiling you. You need to be spoiled," he murmured.

Castiel flushed. "You do a good job of it," he murmured, squeezing Dean's hand again. "Oh, I've heard that's a good place." he nodded at a small café a few blocks away.

"Oh, really? Then let's go there," Dean said, beaming at the fact that he'd made Castiel blush again.

Castiel chuckled. "You look way too proud of yourself," he replied, squeezing Dean's hand and brushing his thumb over Dean's as they walked towards the cafe.

"Well... What can I say? I have an awesome job that pays pretty good, I have an incredibly smart younger brother, and I'm engaged to a nice, attractive guy who's a talented artist," Dean grinned. When they reached the cafe, he held the door open for Castiel.

Castiel walked in, and smiled softly. "You flatter me," he replied, looking up at the menu on the wall.

"It's not flattery if it's the truth," Dean murmured absentmindedly, also looking at the menu.

Castiel chuckled under his breath. "I think I'll get a club sandwich." he murmured.

"All right. What would you like to drink, then?" Dean asked.

"Some coffee would be nice." Castiel replied. "What are you getting?"

"A BLT, and a coke, or coffee. Probably coffee."

Castiel nodded. "I'll get us a seat, you know how I take my coffee." he smiled, kissing Dean's cheek before going to grab a table.

Dean nodded, and went to stand in line. When he got to the front, he ordered and paid, then waited for their coffee before joining Castiel at the table. "We're getting the sandwiches in a few minutes," he said.

Castiel nodded and took the coffee with a smile. "Thank you," he gave Dean a kiss on the cheek.

Dean smiled softly at the kiss. "You're welcome, Cas," he replied.

Castiel smiled. "So, how's work coming along?" he asked.

"Slow, really... My back and neck gets all stiff while I'm working." Dean made a face. "Though it's getting better each day, so I guess that's good."

Castiel nodded. "And how's the Impala coming along?"

"Also slow, but Baby looks a lot better."

Castiel smiled. "Good," he murmured, offering Dean his hand over the table.

Dean smiled lightly, and gently took Castiel's offered hand into his own.

Castiel smiled, and squeezed Dean's hand gently. "This time last year, we barely knew each other." he murmured.

Dean chuckled softly. "Yeah. It was a lot different back then."

Castiel nodded, and brought their hands up to press kisses to the back of Dean's hand.

Dean let out a small, happy sigh. Moments later, a young woman came over with their sandwiches.

Castiel gave her a smile. "Thank you." he murmured, letting go of Dean's hand. When she left, he prayed, and they started eating. "This is really good," he smiled.

Dean nodded as he chewed. "Mhmm, it really is," he said, before taking another bite.

Castiel smiled happily, and took a sip of his coffee.

"So... Do you think there's anywhere else you wanna go before we go home, after we're done here?" Dean asked.

Castiel shrugged. "I don't think so. Spending a lazy day at home sounds very appealing to me."

Dean smiled, and sipped his coffee. "All right, if you say so."

Castiel smiled back. "Of course, if there's somewhere you want to go, I'm not objecting."

"Nah. I really just wanna get home and get my hands on you," Dean murmured, and grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "Patience," he murmured, eating his sandwich.

"It's hard to be patient when you look and smell so good..." Dean gently touched Castiel's leg with his foot.

Castiel chuckled, and gave Dean a look, his eyes hooded and promising something more. "You're one to talk. You in that jacket..."

Dean grinned as he rubbed his foot against Castiel's leg. "I could keep it on for the rest of the day... And night, if you want me to," he said quietly.

"I may take you up on that," Castiel murmured, his good hand tracing down Dean's arm with light fingers, feeling the leather.

Dean smiled, and set his foot back down on the floor.

Castiel smiled, and leaned in to kiss Dean gently.

Dean happily kissed back. "You're awesome," he murmured.

Castiel smiled. "No, you are," he replied, leaning back to finish his sandwich.

Dean chuckled, and proceeded to finish his own sandwich.

When Castiel finished, he smiled at Dean. "We should come here again, the food and coffee are both very good."

Dean nodded in agreement as he finished off his sandwich. "Yeah, I agree," he said.

Castiel smiled, and took the small bag with the angel figurine and put it over his cast before he stood, giving Dean his hand.

Dean smiled and laced their fingers together as he stood up, then headed outside with Castiel.

Castiel squeezed his hand softly as they started walking home. It was nice to just spend time with Dean, and he started swinging their arms gently.

Dean smiled warmly as he looked at Castiel, then looked straight ahead again.

Castiel started humming softly as they walked, a nonsense tune that he was making up on the spot.

Dean grinned while he listened. "You're adorable," he said softly.

Castiel flushed a little. "M not..." he mumbled.

"You are. You're the most adorable guy I know," Dean insisted.

"That title is taken by you," he replied easily.

Dean's eyes widened, and he was quiet for a moment as he looked at Castiel. "... What?"

Castiel grinned. "You're the most adorable man I know," he replied, kissing Dean's cheek.

Dean pouted at that. "I'm not adorable. I'm manly as hell."

Castiel chuckled. "Sam showed me a picture. You "wuv hugs"," he teased.

Dean gaped. "I... I was three years old!" He furrowed his brows, cheeks turning red in embarrassment.

Castiel laughed, hard. "And you look adorable when you blush," he chuckled.

Dean just huffed at his fiancé, and shook his head in disagreement.

Castiel gave him a kiss as an apology.

"I'm _not_ adorable," Dean mumbled, but accepted the kiss.

Castiel just smiled and squeezed Dean's hand, letting go when they arrived at their building.

Dean held the door open for Castiel, and when they reached their apartment, he fished out his keys and let them both inside.

Castiel looked at the living room, and set the angel figurine up high on a bookshelf where the kittens couldn't reach it.

Pirate and Daenerys both ran to Dean and Castiel, purring and meowing loudly.

Dean smiled and knelt down on the floor to pet the cats. "Hello ladies, did you miss us? I bet you did. You missed dad and daddy a lot, huh?" he cooed.

Pirate shoved her head into Dean's hand, her one eye closed as she purred loudly.

Castiel chuckled and kneeled down as well, petting Daenerys. "They're so spoiled," he chuckled.

"Mhmm. Little ladies need to be spoiled, just like you, Cas," Dean said, while scratching Pirate under the chin with his other hand.

Castiel chuckled softly. "Dad is so good to all of us, isn't he?" he cooed to the kittens.

"I try my best to be good..." Dean picked Pirate up and bumped noses with her, then held her to his chest, letting her bump her head against his neck and chin.

Castiel smiled at the sight, of how affectionate Dean was towards their kittens. He reached over to pet Pirate a little, smiling at Dean.

Dean returned the smile, and picked up Daenerys with his other hand to give her a kiss. "Getting these two was an awesome idea."

"Indeed it was," Castiel replied, watching as Daenerys purred and licked Dean's jaw.

Dean chuckled, and cuddled the kittens. After a moment, he carefully put them back down on the floor, and leaned in to give Castiel a kiss.

Castiel returned the kiss happily, parting his lips and inviting Dean in for a deeper kiss.

Dean slid his tongue along Castiel's lips before deepening their kiss, his eyes closing.

Castiel let out a soft, content sigh, letting Dean in to his mouth to explore, shivering when he felt the tip of Dean's tongue run over the roof of his mouth.

Dean hummed softly, and reached out to place his hands on Castiel's thighs, to gently squeeze and rub them.

The tense muscle relaxed under Dean's touch, and Castiel let out a soft moan into Dean's mouth.

Dean continuted to kiss and touch his fiancé for a few moments, then he pulled away to look at Castiel. "... Massage?"

Castiel gave Dean a soft smile. "I'll meet you on the bed," he murmured, giving Dean a kiss before walking to the bedroom. He stripped out of his shirt and pants, but left his boxers on as he laid out on the bed.

Dean smiled and shrugged off his jacket, before heading to the bathroom. He washed his hands quickly, then joined Castiel in the bedroom, though he went to the drawers to pull out a small paper bag before going over to the bed.

Castiel was stretching out on his stomach, the lean muscles of his back facing Dean. The scarring was much less prominent, although there were a few from beatings. His head was resting on his arm, his cast to the side.

Dean smiled, and quickly slipped off his jeans to get more comfortable, then carefully got onto the bed to straddle Castiel's thighs. "So, so beautiful," he murmured, running one hand over Castiel's back. "You look healthy, too," he then added, remembering how much more prominent Castiel's bones used to be.

"I've done better here than I ever did in Kansas." Castiel murmured, closing his eyes to enjoy the touch. He had finally gained the lost weight back, although he still remained slim.

Dean leaned over to press a kiss to the back of Castiel's neck. "Yeah," he replied softly, setting the paper bag down and caressing Castiel's back and shoulders with both his hands.

Castiel's muscles were tense, but they always were. It was a natural state to him, and he was reminded it wasn't whenever Dean massaged his shoulders or something of the like. He let out a content sigh.

"Mmh... I got us a treat, for massages," Dean murmured. "It's supposed to be good for the muscles and... Shit. Don't remember all the things the lady said. But it smells good, and it gets like... Warm." He gave Castiel a gently pat on his lower back, before straightening himself up and reaching into the bag to pull out a bottle.

Castiel shifted slightly, getting more comfortable. "Whatever you want to do or try, go ahead." he murmured. "I'll tell you if I don't enjoy it."

"All right, hon," Dean said, and rolled the bottle between his hands to heat it up. He opened the cap, and tested to oil against his arm to make sure it was warm enough, before he squeezed some of the oil onto Castiel's back. Then he put the bottle aside and started to massage Castiel for real with gentle yet firm motions to undo the knots in his muscles, while spreading and rubbing the oil into Castiel's skin.

Castiel shivered when Dean poured the oil onto his back, and his muscles slowly relaxed under Dean's attention. He let out soft, pleased sounds as Dean worked, the oil feeling extremely nice against his skin.

The scent of the oil started to spread, and Dean sniffed before letting out a happy sigh. "You smell of sweet oranges and chocolate. I think I could just eat you right up," he murmured as he continued to work. "It's supposed to stay warm for a while, to help keep the muscles relaxed or something... It's good for the skin, too."

Castiel just hummed in acknowledgment, too blissed out to speak. He continued to relax and come undone under Dean's hands.

Dean took the time to admire Castiel's body, and he knew he'd probably be half hard when he was done. Castiel was just so gorgeous, especially when he was relaxed like that.

Castiel was half hard himself, but he didn't rock his hips or anything, letting Dean rub the tension out of his body. "Does the bottle read "for external use only”?" he asked after a while.

Dean paused for a moment. "Huh? No clue. Why?" he asked, and picked up the bottle to read the label. "Uhm... It doesn't say that, what I can see."

"Because this would make one amazing substitute for lube." he murmured.

Dean laughed softly. "How naughty," he said, and leaned over to kiss Castiel's neck.

Castiel quirked a soft smile. "I have my moments," he replied.

Dean gently rubbed Castiel's shoulders. "You sure do," he murmured.

Castiel just hummed, his body relaxed and pliant under Dean's hands.

"You're so lovely when you're like this... So calm, and at ease..." Dean whispered, tracing Castiel's spine with his thumbs.

Castiel smiled softly. "You're the one who taught me how to be this way," he whispered.

"Yeah... I'm glad I'm the one who gets to see you like this." Dean smiled, and nipped playfully at the skin on Castiel's neck. "Because you're all mine."

"Always yours." Castiel murmured, shivering slightly at the nip, feeling himself groaning harder.

"Good, good. 'Cause I wanna keep you forever," Dean said softly, and ran his hands slowly up and down Castiel's back and sides.

"I'm yours forever." Castiel murmured. "I'll be Castiel Winchester, and we'll make a home and a life, adopt some beautiful children and raise them to be amazing people. And we'll still be together when we're old and fat and wrinkled, and you'll still be as beautiful to me then as you were the first time you gave me that cheeky smile of yours."

Dean chuckled softly. "Mmh... Nagging each other's ears off and fighting then giving each other feet and back rubs because we're old and aching everywhere," he said, then sighed. "Can't wait until I grow old and fat with you, Cas."

Castiel smiled. "I wouldn't wish that to happen too soon. The years will fly by before we know it." he murmured.

"Yeah, that's true... But when get to that stage in life, I really won't mind getting fat from eating home cooked food and pastries and watching tv almost all day with my husband." Dean nuzzled his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel smiled softly. "And I promise you, I will make it that far. No matter what, so long as I have you by my side, I'll be okay."

"You better. Else I'll find a way to revive you, then I'll slap you silly for breaking my heart and then put you back in the box," Dean joked half heartedly, then sighed softly.

Castiel quirked a soft smile. "I will never break your heart," he promised softly.

"Good," Dean murmured, and gently kissed Castiel's neck.

Castiel relaxed and smiled softly. "Let me turn over, so I can kiss you properly." he murmured.

"Okay, just be careful with your arm," Dean said, and got off Castiel to let him move.

Castiel rolled over, carefully, and leaned up to kiss Dean properly.

Dean smiled softly and kissed back gently.

Castiel hummed, bringing Dean's hand and placing it over his heart.

Dean rubbed his thumb over Castiel's skin. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Castiel murmured softly. "This beats for you, because of you."

Dean smiled, and gently kissed Castiel again. "Good."

Castiel kissed Dean back, wrapping his one arm around Dean's back to hold him close,

Dean deepened the kiss a bit, keeping his hand on Castiel's chest and resting the other on his hip.

Castiel hummed into the kiss, the lump in his pants growing more prominent. He gently coaxed Dean's tongue int his mouth and sucked gently on it.

Dean felt the material of Castiel's boxers shift and strain under his hand, and he slowly moved his hand towards Castiel's growing erection, to gently press his hand against it. He moaned as Castiel sucked on his tongue.

Castiel gasped and whimpered, letting Dean's tongue go. "Dean..." he whispered the other's name into their kiss.

Dean made a soft, aroused noise at Castiel's reaction, feeling his own erection slowly filling out. "Guess you're not really feeling like taking a bath and eating dinner before we do anything, huh...?"

Castiel shivered at hearing Dean's noise. "Not really." he whispered. "And we can always do things after a bath and dinner too..." he pointed out softly.

"Mmh... That's true," Dean murmured, kissing the corner of Castiel's lips, then his cheek and his jaw.

Castiel shuddered. "Although… I want to top this time." he whispered. "Please."

Dean lifted his head and looked at Castiel, then he nodded. "All right, hon," he murmured, and kissed Castiel again.

Castiel smiled, and held Dean close, kissing him before he started kissing down Dean's neck.

Dean let out a soft, content sigh as he tilted his head, baring his neck to Castiel.

Castiel nipped and sucked at all of Dean's favorite spots.

Dean moaned, his erection fully hard and straining against his briefs.

Castiel smiled, and rocked his hips against Dean. 

Dean let out a louder groan, and pressed his hips down against Castiel.

Castiel moved his hand to grasp Dean's ass, squeezing it firmly. "You said you wanted me to top because you had something for me. May I ask what you had in mind?"

"Oh, uhm... I got. Uh..." Dean chewed on his lip. "... I bought a cock ring. I read up on it, and it says that it might help to delay an orgasm, or just simply keep it hard for longer... I didn't get it for just today, though. Because I know someone who said he would suck me all day if he could."

Castiel chuckled, and hummed thoughtfully. "I think I want you to wear it right now, and I'll wear it after dinner." he murmured.

Dean licked his lips, and nodded. "All right," he said, reached over to the paper bag and fishing out a small box out of it. "It's... It's one of those you snap on. Easier to get off if it becomes too much."

Castiel took the ring from Dean and examined it for a little bit. "Will this fit?" he asked.

"Yeah... I might have tried it on when no one was around," Dean admitted, smiling. "There's more than one snap, so I'd be surprised if it doesn't fit you."

Castiel nodded. "Okay." he murmured, kissing Dean again.

Dean kissed back, gently rubbing his hands over Castiel's sides.

Castiel smiled, and slipped his hands underneath Dean's briefs, squeezing gently.

Dean hummed and kissed the corner of Castiel's lips, then kissed down to his neck to nip and suck at the skin, making sure to mark his fiancé on the spots that felt good.

Castiel gasped softly and shuddered, pulling Dean's briefs down.

Dean continued to mark Castiel's neck, and teasingly brushed his fingers over Castiel's nipples, before rubbing the pads of his thumbs over them.

Castiel let out soft pleasured noises. "I want you to fuck me while wearing the cock ring, and make me come without you coming." he whispered.

Dean's breath hitched, and he groaned at the thought. "Shit, Cas," he murmured, his hands leaving Castiel's chest to reach down and start pulling his boxers off.

Castiel lifted his hips to help Dean remove his boxers, and reached to remove Dean's shirt, leaving them both naked. He took the cock ring and guided Dean's erection through it, snapping it snugly at the base.

Dean shuddered and bit back a sound, having to close his eyes for a moment. Then he leaned down to kiss Castiel on the lips again.

Castiel kissed him back. He spread his legs invitingly as he lay on the bed.

Dean licked his lips, and reached into the drawer to grab a condom, but paused at the lube. "... Did you seriously want to try using the oil as lube, or...?"

Castiel replied by handing Dean the bottle of oil,

Dean gave a quick nod. He put the condom aside for later, and took the bottle of oil. He poured some onto his palm, letting it warm up before he slicked his fingers. Leaning over, he pressed a gentle kiss to Castiel's chest, while he reached between Castiel's cheeks to rub his fingers over the entrance.

Castiel shuddered at the sensation, letting out a soft noise. The oil was warm, and slicked well.

Dean started to nip and suck a mark onto Castiel's collarbone, as he gently pushed a finger into his fiancé.

Castiel gasped and moaned, his muscles giving and relaxing around Dean's finger.

Dean crooked and moved his finger in and out, before adding a second. "Gosh... I love your moans," he murmured.

Castiel let out a soft one as Dean pressed in the second finger. "As I enjoy yours," he panted.

Dean hummed and scissored his fingers, loosening Castiel up more. He kissed his way down to a nipple, and started kissing and licking at it while he thrust his fingers in and out. After a bit, he added a third finger.

Castiel was whimpering, his erection heavy and smearing precome over his belly. When Dean's fingers brushed his prostate, he clenched down and moaned loudly, arcing up.

Dean smiled at Castiel's reaction, and stilled his hand to let his finger tips just rest against Castiel's prostate. He moved his free hand down to scoop up some of Castiel's precome on his fingers, then brought them to his mouth to suck it off. "You taste as good as ever," he murmured, pressing and rubbing his fingers against his fiancé prostate for only a moment, then slipped his fingers out.

Castiel keened loudly, panting and feeling empty as Dean's fingers withdrew. "Need you… Please." he whispered.

Dean's erection twitched and throbbed at the sounds Castiel made, and he hurriedly reached for the condom, tore the foil open and rolled the rubber onto his length. He squirted some more oil into his palm, just enough to slick himself up, then shifted between Castiel's legs. "I'll take care of you," he murmured as he guided his erection to Castiel's entrance, and started to slowly push inside.

Castiel moaned loudly as he felt himself being stretched open on Dean's cock, feeling the slight throbbing coming from it. He shuddered when he felt the ring press up against his entrance once Dean was completely in, and he clenched down slightly on his fiancé, panting and moaning.

Dean shuddered, and leaned over Castiel to rest his forehead on the other's shoulder. "Ah- Oh fuck, fuck..." he groaned, gripping Castiel's hips tightly, staying completely still to let Castiel get used to the stretch. "So good," he breathed out. After a few moments, he started to move his hips, gently thrusting in and out of his fiancé.

Castiel let out soft moans as Dean moved, rocking his hips in time with them. He purposefully clenched down a little whenever Dean was completely ensheathed.

Dean groaned and panted at the feeling, and started sucking more marks into Castiel's skin - over his collarbones and shoulders.

Castiel shuddered, and then cried out, clenching down hard as Dean found his prostate. "Dean!" he cried out.

Dean gasped and moaned into Castiel's skin. "Fuck, fuck-" he said repeatedly, and picked up the pace of his thrust.

Castiel shuddered as he could hear Dean coming undone, a spurt of pre come rubbing over his stomach. He cried out as Dean hit his prostate over and over, his hand digging into the sheets.

Dean pressed his face into Castiel's neck. "So good, Cas, feel so good- You're so good to me," he whispered.

Castiel cried out, lost in his own pleasure. It nay took a few more thrusts before he was done, crying out as he came over their stomachs, clenching down and spasming on Dean's erection.

Dean stopped moving. He shuddered at the clench and let out a groan from deep within his throat, gripping Castiel's hips tight enough to leave marks.

Castiel finished, panting hard as he felt Dean's still-erect length inside of him. "Did that feel good?" he asked, voice hoarse. "Feeling me come around you?"

Dean let out a shaky moan at that, and nodded. "Y-yeah... Felt really good," he breathed out, and shifted slightly, preparing to pull out of Castiel.

Castiel wrapped his legs around Dean's waist and held him in. "How do you want me?" he asked. "Do you want to be inside me until you come? Or my mouth? I'm sure you have a large load waiting for me," he purred.

Dean whimpered softly at the thought of Castiel's mouth around his sensitive cock. "F-fuck... Your mouth, please. Please, Cas," he begged. "Want to see you swallow it..."

Castiel smiled, and parted his lips in invitation.

Dean's breath hitched as he moved Castiel's legs out of the way, and slowly pulled out. He quickly pulled off the condom and carefully removed the cockring from his leaking erection, then moved into position so that his erection was in front of Castiel's face.

Castiel's tongue darted out, and licked teasingly at the tip, savoring the taste of Dean's precome. He parted his lips again, not moving, wanting Dean to take what he needed.

Dean had to take a deep breath to calm himself, before he carefully guided his length into Castiel's mouth. He didn't give Castiel more than he knew he could take. "Ugh... Shit, Cas. Your mouth," he murmured, gently cradling Castiel's head in his hands as he started to slowly and carefully move his hips.

Castiel hummed, his tongue lavishing attention as Dean moved, sucking gently whenever Dean was as far in as he dared to go.

Dean groaned, more precome leaking out of the tip of his length and adding to the wetness of Castiel's mouth. "Shit, Cas... I'm not... I'm gonna come," he warned.

Castiel smiled as best he could with a cock in his mouth, and he flicked his tongue over the tip, savoring the taste and waiting for the thicker, more heady taste that would soon come.

Dean continued to move his hips, until the pressure was too much and his already tense muscles stiffened further. He trembled as he forced himself to stop and not thrust into the wonderful heat of Castiel's mouth, and let out a choked cry as he released his load inside his fiancé mouth.

Castiel swallowed as much as he could, although a little spilled down his chin. He sucked Dean until the other was soft in his mouth, letting him go with a wet, obscene pop.

Dean panted softly, and gently caressed the side of Castiel's face, before moving off him to lay beside him on the bed - being extremely careful to not accidentally hurt Castiel's wrist in any way. He turned his head to look at his fiancé. "... That was awesome."

Castiel grabbed their towel to clean his face and stomach, smiling gently at Dean. "I think we'll have to bring that out more than a few times," he murmured, kissing the tip of Dean's nose.

"I agree completely," Dean said, smiling. "We can have lots of fun with that... And when the car's fixed and our economy's better, I think we could start a small collection of naughty things to try."

Castiel chuckled, caressing Dean's face against his palm. "That may be necessary." he smiled softly, kissing Dean sweetly and lovingly.

Dean smiled wider and kissed back gently, then wrapped his arms around Castiel to hold him close. "I love you," he murmured again Castiel's lips.

"I love you too," Castiel whispered. "I think a bath would be nice now..." he murmured.

"Mmh... Just a minute, then I'll go tap up a bath," Dean said, not wanting to let go of Castiel just yet.

"Mkay." Castiel murmured, tucking his head against Dean's neck.

Dean let out a pleased sigh, and happily held Castiel in his arms.

Castiel smiled, feeling at home and so safe. "Happy anniversary," he whispered.

"Happy anniversary, honey," Dean replied softly.

Castiel relaxed, and closed his eyes, beginning to doze off.

Dean smiled and kissed the top of Castiel's head. He waited until his fiancé had fallen asleep, before he carefully moved away and off the bed, then wandered into the bathroom to prepare the bath.

Castiel snuggled into the bed, lips parted as he breathed.

Dean smiled as he watched Castiel sleep for the door opening, keeping a careful eye on the bath. When it was ready, he turned off the water and went over to the bed, and started peppering Castiel's face with kisses. "C'mon now, Cas. Wakey wakey," he murmured.

Castiel grumbled and squirmed slightly. "Dean..." he whined.

"Caaaas," Dean whined back at his fiancé. "The bath is ready," he mumbled.

Castiel shifted slightly, and his hands darted out to pull Dean down into bed with him.

Dean yelped as he was pulled down onto the bed, then huffed with laughter. "Don't you wanna take a bath?"

"Yes, but the look on your face was priceless." Castiel replied, finally opening his clear blue eyes.

Dean stuck his tongue out. "It's a good thing I love you."

Castiel smiled back. "I love you too," he murmured, sitting up. "I can still feel you inside...The oil is warm..."

Dean swallowed, and got back up on his feet. "Is it a good feeling?" he asked.

"Yes," Castiel smiled, and sat up in bed.

Dean smiled too, and took Castiel's hand in his own. "Good. Now c'mon. Bath is waiting," he said, and help Castiel to his feet.

Castiel laced their fingers together. "Plastic wrap," he reminded Dean.

"Oh, yeah... I forgot. Let me go get it." Dean kissed Castiel gently, then hesitantly went off to quickly fetch the plastic wrap. When he came back, he got to work quickly with helping Castiel with wrapping his cast.

Castiel kisses back, and waited paitiently. Once his cast was wrapped up, he smiled and went into the bathroom, waiting for Dean to slide into the bathtub first.

Dean got into the bathtub first, then helped Castiel to get in and sit between his legs.

Castiel settled down against Dean's chest, relaxing into the warm water and his fiance's warm embrace. "I love you," he murmured softly.

Dean wrapped his arms loosely around Castiel, and smiled softly. "I love you too, Castiel," he murmured back.

Castiel smiled, and laced their fingers together. "My teachers are telling me I have a shot to make the gallery this year," he murmured.

Dean grinned. "So they aren't blind," he joked, and kissed Castiel's shoulder. "Though, seriously. That's great to hear, Cas."

Castiel smiled. "I'm nervous though, really nervous." he murmured. "I started this project with the intention of it meaning something to me, and not expecting to even have a shot. Now it's too late to change it."

"... I kinda thought art was about doing something that means something to you, though," Dean said. "You still haven't told me what your project is."

Castiel nodded. "I know. But I don't want you to see it until it's done." he murmured.

Dean pouted. "Okay. I guess I can wait for a while longer," he mumbled.

"It won't have the same effect if you don't see the theme as a whole," Castiel murmured.

"Mmkay. I'll trust you on that, 'cause I'm not artist." Dean closed his eyes.

Castiel kissed Dean's collarbone. "You won't regret waiting, I promise."

Dean smiled, and hummed softly. "All right. If you say so, Cas."

Castiel grabbed a washcloth and soaped it up, sitting up more so he could start washing Dean's chest.

Dean opened his eyes so that he could watch Castiel.

Castiel's movements were gentle and deliberate as he worked, and he gave Dean a soft smile.

Dean smiled back. "You're so good to me, Cas," he murmured.

"Asyou are to me," Castiel murmured in reply, spreading his fingers over Dean's heart.

Dean gently placed his hand over Castiel's, and smiled widely.

Castiel smiled back, feeling the steady thrumming of Dean's heart underneath his palm. "I love you. So much."

"I love you too. Forever and always," Dean murmured, leaning in to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel happily kissed back, handing Dean the washcloth.

Dean accepted the washcloth, and started to wash Castiel's chest and shoulders.

Castiel closed his eyes and relaxed under Dean's touches.

Dean used his free hand to gently touch Castiel's neck, fingers brushing over the marks he'd left earlier.

Castiel shivered under the touch. He was plenty marked from their lovemaking earlier, with Dean's hands bruised onto his hips as well.

"Y'know, I'm sometimes conflicted... You have such beautiful skin, and I ruin it with these marks... But at the same time, I love marking you up," Dean murmured.

Castiel snorted. "I've ruined my own skin years ago," he murmured. "But I mutilated it with hatred. You mark it with love, and I would rather be covered in bruises left by you during sex than anything else."

Dean huffed softly. "I still find your skin beautiful. Besides, I'm the only one who gets to see this. Just makes it more beautiful," he mumbled.

Castiel nodded, and smiled softly. "As are you," he murmured, his hand dropping to caress Dean's scarred thigh. "I absolutely love your freckles. Every single one."

Dean chuckled softly. "That's a lot of love."

"I have a lot of love for you," Castiel smiled softly. "And you love me for my imperfections, I can love you for yours."

Dean stuck out his tongue, but ended up grinning in the end. "All right, all right."

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean again, soft and slow.

Dean happily kissed back, just as gently.

Castiel pulled away and reached for the shampoo, running his fingers through Dean's hair and lathering it up.

Dean sighed contently, and closed his eyes as he let Castiel wash his hair, completely enjoying it.

Castiel smiled, and stole a kiss before he started rinsing out the shampoo.

"Mmh, wish I could have you wash my hair all the time," Dean murmured.

Castiel chuckled, and kissed him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> Our other story, [Life's a Bitch](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3794374/chapters/8447128), will be coming to an end within a couple of weeks. So, we made a poll to see what you guys would like us to start uploading next!
> 
> The poll can be found here: [FIC POLL](http://goo.gl/forms/mrLAABISSC)(http://goo.gl/forms/mrLAABISSC)
> 
> We hope you had a good weekend!  
> -Uke


	20. He's not my friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  A couple of months pass by and Castiel's wrist has healed completely. He comes home one day after school, fuming and disappointed. Balthazar had not taken it well when Castiel had asked Charlie to be his best man. Dean holds his fiancé and they watch a movie, but then Castiel's phone blows up with vulgar texts of people wanting to have sex with him and pictures of men's genitals. Balthazar put up an ad about sex on Craigslist, and included Castiel's number. After Dean admits what Balthazar had done months prior when Dean had turned off his phone and Castiel had to walk home, Castiel decides to confront Balthazar. He calls him on a hidden number, and their friendship is ended and he also quits the job at Balthazar's family's restaurant. Afterwards, Dean takes care of Castiel. They have a good shower - and some good shower sex - before Dean cooks up some mean burgers that they enjoy before heading to bed that night.
> 
>  **CONTENT WARNINGS**  
>  Balthazar being a major asshole.

A couple of months passed, and the kittens grew more and more every day. Pirate grew the most and was caught up with Daenerys, now that she had regular access to food. Castiel's wrist had healed completely, much to their relief, and he had had his cast removed.

Castiel came home one day after school, frustrated. He slammed the door shut behind him and went to the bedroom without a greeting.

Dean was sprawled out on the couch, one kitten on his stomach and the other on his chest. Both Pirate and Daenerys jumped off him when the door slammed, scared out of their minds. He couldn't deny that he jumped too. "... Castiel?" he called out as he got off the couch.

Castiel was sitting on the bed, clearly upset and frustrated with something. "I hate people..." he muttered when Dean entered the room.

Dean frowned as he walked over to Castiel, and sat down beside him. "Talk to me."

Castiel leaned into Dean, and buried his face into his fiancé's shoulder. "I… I asked Charlie if she wanted to be my best man, for the wedding. And Balthazar didn't take that very well. He called..." he swallowed. "He called me a faggot..."

Dean's frown deepened, and he wrapped his arm around Castiel. "... If he can't accept that you want Charlie to be your best man, and be happy for you, then I don't think Balthazar is worthy of your time, honey."

Castiel sighed, and sniffed. "I just...I feel horrid. He's my friend, and maybe I did slight him, since I've known him longer, and he did get me my job. But… I wasn't comfortable having him be my best man."

Dean nodded. "Well, I do understand why he would feel hurt, but still... If he was a good friend, he wouldn't say that. And it is your wedding as well as mine. It's not his. He doesn't get to decide."

Castiel swallowed and nodded, a soft smile escaping as Pirate jumped into his lap, purring. He pet her head. "Yeah...that didn't make it hurt less, though."

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head. "I know, honey, I know. But hopefully Pirate snuggles will help soothe the wound at least a little bit. Right, Pi?" he looked down at the kitten that curled up in Castiel's lap. Daenerys soon came around, and rubbed herself against their legs.

Castiel smiled softly. "And Dean cuddles too," he murmured, kissing Dean's neck softly. "We should go out to dinner with Charlie and Dorothy tomorrow."

Dean gently rubbed Castiel's shoulder. "Mmh. You can get as many Dean cuddles as you want... And yeah, dinner sounds good. They’re cool girls."

"They really are. Charlie really enjoys spending time with you." Castiel smiled.

"We're gonna have to arrange a movie night at some point."

"Probably," Castiel sighed, still petting Pirate. He felt better than he did, but he was still feeling pretty low.

Dean quietly looked at fiancé for a moment. "... How can I make you feel better?" he asked softly.

Castiel sighed softly. "Just, can we take it easy today? Watch some tv, and just cuddle." he wanted to take his mind off of everything.

Dean nodded, and kissed the top of Castiel's head again. "All right, if that's what you want, then that's what we'll do."

"Thanks." Castiel murmured, picking Pirate up as he carefully stood up, cuddling her close.

Pirate yawned and bumped her head against Castiel, purring louder. Dean got to his feet, and walked with Castiel to the living room. "You wanna watch a movie or just see if there's anything on TV?"

Castiel shrugged. "I really don't care, whatever you feel like." he murmured, sitting down on the couch, Pirate in his lap as Daenerys hopped up to sit on his legs.

Dean nodded and turned the TV on, and flicked through the channels until something interesting enough came up.

Castiel leaned against Dean as they watched "Ghostfacers," his head cradled against Dean's chest.

Dean absentmindedly caressed Castiel's cheek and hair while they watched, choosing to stay silent instead of making unnecessary comments like he sometimes did while watching TV.

Castiel was quiet for a while, before he murmured "I can't wait for our honeymoon. It's going to be so nice... just the two of us on a beach together."

“Yeah. We can do whatever we want without having to consider anyone else.”

"And we can go swimming at night, when there's no one out.”

"Oooh- We could take long walks on the beach, too. Man, that sounds awesome." Dean smiled.

Castiel smiled as well. "It does indeed." he murmured, leaning up to press a kiss to Dean's jaw. "If I'm able to walk, that is,"

"Why? You planning to have my cock up your ass each time it gets a bit heated? Well... Yeah, then it's likely you won't be able to walk." Dean chuckled.

Castiel chuckled. "Maybe not  _every_ time...but yes, I plan on having you in bed more often than not for a week."

Dean smiled. "Mmh... It's gonna be fun. And speaking of sex... I do know of a few things I'd like to try, at some point."

Castiel looked up at Dean. "Go on?" he prompted.

Dean bit into his lip, cheeks turning pink. "Erh... Well... I'd love to see you in lingerie. And... I kinda want to... See what the big deal with toys is, and stuff. Uh... Also, if you ever wanna try to... Y'know... Top again..."

Castiel's cheeks turned very, very red. "Um… I… I can try?" he murmured. "I… I don't know if I can do lingerie, But I will try, for you..." he swallowed. "I wouldn't mind some toys, and I do want to try to top again."

Dean smiled, even though his cheeks grew warmer. "You're truly the best," he murmured back. "We can get something cheap, see if you like it. And we can look up... Stuff, online. See if anything sounds good."

Castiel nodded, cheeks still very red. "All right." he murmured. "There...there are a few things I'd like to try, as well..."

"Oh? Do tell," Dean said, while he ran his fingers through Castiel's hair.

Castiel leaned into the touch. "I want to try a roleplay, of some sort." he murmured. "Like, a doctor/patient, or prostitute/client..."

Dean nodded slowly. "Sure. We can try that. It's probably lots of fun when you get the hang of it."

Castiel nodded, trailing his fingers over Dean's chest. "Thanks," he murmured softly.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head. "Anything for you, Cas."  
  
Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean sweetly. "Have you found anywhere good for the reception?" he asked.  
  
"I think so, yeah," Dean said and kissed back. "Though, I wanna look around a bit more. If I haven't found anything else in... Say two weeks, I'll take you to see the place. Sound good?"  
  
"Sounds good," Castiel replied, leaning against Dean. "We need to start looking at catering, since Ellen can't do it for free... and that's definitely something that is going to take a fair amount of money."  
  
"Ugh. It's a lot of time and money that goes into a wedding, even if we're not getting married until the summer..."  
  
"And we aren't even having a large one," Castiel pointed out.  
  
"I know, and I'm very happy about that." Dean wrapped both his arms around Castiel. "Though. I'm just happy I'm getting married to you."

Castiel smiled, and cuddled close. "There's no one else for me but you," he murmured.

Dean smiled widely, and kissed Castiel. "And you're the only one for me."

Castiel returned the kiss, happy and content. Pirate shoved her face in between theirs, purring loudly, and Castiel couldn't help but laugh. "Someone's jealous," he murmured, petting the kitten.

"Hi Pi baby," Dean cooed, and gently scratched Pirate under the chin. "You're such an attention whore, just like your sis, aren't ya?"

Pirate just purred and licked Dean's face.

Castiel chuckled. "At least Dany doesn't interrupt us when we're kissing." he pointed out.

"True, she just wakes us up at 4am because she's lonely." Dean wrinkled his nose. "Ew, cat spit. It's a good thing I love you fur balls."

Castiel chuckled as he watched Dean with the cat. "True." he agreed. His phone went off, and he shifted to pull it from his jeans, looking at the text message. He frowned slightly, replied, and closed the phone, setting it down on the table.

Dean blinked at his fiancé. "... Everything okay?" he asked, and watched as Pirate jumped over to the table and started sniffing around, still purring.

"Yes..." Castiel sighed as his phone went off again, and again, and again. He frowned, and opened it, dropping the phone and cursing at the sight of the screen.

All of the messages were from sleazy men, and a few had sent pictures of their dicks.

Dean frowned, wanting to see but refusing to look at Castiel's phone without permission. "... Okay. So, what's going on? It doesn't look like everything's okay."

"I don't know..." Castiel showed Dean the first message, complete with dick pic.

_"hey u bottom bitch, like what u see? Im ready n willing when u r."_

As Dean read the message, his phone continued to buzz with new text messages. Castiel looked harrowed.

Dean narrowed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "... Someone must've put you up on craigslist or something. Like you did with Tom."

Castiel didn't look at the rest of his messages, and instead got up and grabbed his laptop, opening firefox and going onto craigslist, casual encounters, and mfm.

Sure enough, a few posts down, was the post, posted less than ten minutes before.

" _Hello, I'm a 5'11 sex god with the most beautiful blue eyes you'll ever see. My lips are perfect for sucking cock, and I love to take multiple loads at once. I'm definitely a bottom, and I enjoy taking it without any lube. I'm engaged, but my partner can't ever please me enough, so discretion is a must! Text me a pic so I know you're real, 555-564-2342."_

Castiel's hands clenched, and he was trembling. "Who would do this?" he whispered.

Dean ran a hand over his hair and took a deep breath. "I don't know... I... Someone's clearly out to get you. But who the fuck would be pissy and enough of a jerk to..." His voice trailed off. "... Fuck."

Castiel looked at Dean. "What?" he asked softly, finally fed up enough with the buzzing and turning his phone off.

"... Cas. So far, the only one person with your number, that has gotten mad at you... Is Balthazar," Dean said slowly, and carefully. "I- I'm not saying he did it. But... The possibility's there."

Castiel closed his eyes and swallowed hard. "I… I don't know what to think." he whispered.

Dean chewed on his lip. "I... I wish it wasn't like that, Cas, but I think I have a good reason to believe it might be him... This... This is probably a bad time to bring this up but, it's probably the only chance I get to say it... Remember that time you got pissed because I turned my phone off?"

Castiel nodded, staring at his phone, and even ignoring Pirate as she pressed against his hand, mewing.

"... Balthazar took your phone and texted me," Dean mumbled.

Castiel was quiet. "What did he say?" he finally asked.

"That I was too possessive, and that it looked more like I had abused you... That I wasn't letting you have a friend, and that he wasn't doing anything friends didn't do... Then he said it was no wonder that I wasn't in college when the autocorrect got turned off and... Well yeah. You know my spelling is crap," Dean said.

Castiel took a deep breath, and let it out. "He's never really been a friend to me, has he?" he asked softly.

"It doesn't seem so. Y'know... I could've lived with his flirty attitude, if he was a good guy but... It doesn't seem like he is a good guy. That he finds you attractive doesn't make things better... What a mess. I'm so sorry."

Castiel buried his face in his hands, shoulders tense. "I...I don't know what to do. I don't… I need my job, Dean, but..."

Dean put a hand on Castiel's back, and rubbed gently. "H-hey... Maybe I've got it all wrong. Let's try to talk to him, all right?"

Castiel swallowed and nodded. "Can I use your phone? I'll *69 him so he won't get your number… I just won't be able to handle using mine right now."

"Of course you can use my phone," Dean said, fishing his own phone out of his pocket. "And... Let's take a screenshot of that craiglist article before we report it. So we can save it in case we need it."

Castiel nodded, and screenshot the page, making sure to get the date and time on the computer screen in the shot as well. He then took Dean's phone and added the *69 before he dialed Balthazar's number.

Balthazar picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, it's Castiel."

"Cassie, why aren't you calling me from your phone?"

"Because it's currently rendered unusable due to a large amount of pornographic images."

"Got a virus, huh? That sucks."

"Not quite. It appears someone has posted my phone number."

"Wow, really? That sucks, I wonder who would do such a thing." The smirk was clear in his voice. "I'll take it down if you change your mind about your best man...or your groom."

Castiel's hands clenched into fists.

Dean put his hand over one of Castiel's clenched ones, and gently squeezed it.

"No, Balthazar. To both." Castiel's jaw was hard.

"Pity, I know you really need a job. Apartments are expensive here in Cali, after all." Balthazar replied.

Castiel's muscles went rigid. "Fine. Consider this my termination." he replied, before hanging up the phone, tears falling down his cheeks.

Dean used gentle hands to pull Castiel close, then into his lap to cradle him, comfort him the best he could.

"Fuck," Castiel cursed. "Why can't I be normal? Why can't I understand when someone's using me..."

"Hey, hey... That's not your fault, Cas. That's his fault. It's on him. Not on you," Dean murmured.

"It's not the first time. Until you and Sam, it's always been that way. I think I have a friend, and then they just wanted to copy my homework, wanted something of me that I always gave. Until you, until you I had always expected that. And then you came, and you didn't just take, you also gave back. And I forgot what always happens."

"... Castiel. Listen to me. There will always be douchebags, okay? There will always be people that would want to use you. But that's  _not_ your fault. You just want a friend. There's nothing wrong with that. But don't forget that you also have Charlie and Dorothy. And Bobby, and Ellen, Jo, Jess... You have two loving kittens that don't want to be without you. And there will be new, good people that you'll meet. We're not in Kansas anymore."

Castiel swallowed, and nodded as he listened to Dean's words. "Thank you..." he whispered softly. "I think...I need to change my number." he whispered.

"Yeah, we'll fix that as soon as possible. I promise," Dean murmured, and held Castiel tightly. "What about we take a good, long shower, and then you can cuddle the cats while I cook something up?"

Castiel nodded. "Can you make burgers?" he requested softly.

"Of course," Dean replied, and kissed Castiel's forehead. "Have I told you that I love you, today? Dunno if I have. But I do. I do love you."

"I love you too, Dean." Castiel replied, slowly getting up, and making his way to their bathroom with Dean. He stripped down, curling up a little bit, feeling insecure like he always was when he was having a bad day.

Dean turned the shower on before he took off his own clothes. He stepped into the shower first, then helped Castiel inside, not wanting his fiancé to slip since he probably wasn’t really looking where he was going. “It’s okay Cas… Just relax, okay? I’ll take care of you.”

Castiel pressed their bodies together, comfortable in Dean's arms with the warm water cascading over them. He rest his head on Dean's shoulder, eyes closed.

Dean pressed his hands flat against Castiel's back, and just held him for a long while. Then he started to gently rub Castiel's back, sides, shoulders and arms.

Castiel's tight, tense muscles slowly relaxed under Dean's attention, and he let out a soft groan. His own arms were pressed against Dean's back, keeping him close.

Dean paused, only to grab the washcloth and soap it up, and started washing Castiel as he continued to rub and press into the tense muscles in hope of relaxing them more.

Castiel's muscles continued to relax, Castiel letting out soft groans as Dean worked out the tougher knots, until he was completely pliant in Dean's arms.

Dean hummed softly, and gently coaxed Castiel into turning around. He pressed his chest to Castiel's back, and started washing his fiancé's torso while kissing at his neck.

Castiel shivered at the affection, at the feeling of Dean's body blanketing his own. He tilted his head to the side, exposing more of his neck. "I love you," he whispered. "My husband...."

Dean sucked in a breath, and pressed his hand flat against Castiel's stomach. "I love you too, Castiel Winchester," he whispered back, then pressed his lips to one of Castiel's favorite spots on his neck, and sucked a mark on the skin.

Castiel shivered, letting out a soft noise at the hand on his stomach, the name, and then Dean's lips driving him crazy. "I almost signed that name the other day, when I was paying bills...had to remind myself it isn't changed yet..." he whispered.

"I can't wait until it's changed... Can't wait until you're signing everything as Castiel Winchester," Dean murmured. "Fuck... Y'know, never done it, only seen it in porn... But damn, I can't wait to make love to you, Cas, then watch as the proof runs down your thighs. Gonna make it so good for you... Maybe I could even make you come twice?" He knew he was getting carried away, but he couldn't help himself.

Castiel shuddered and let out a soft gasp, feeling himself steadily harden at Dean's words. He pressed back against Dean, rubbing his ass against Dean's crotch. "I can't wait to feel you spilling yourself inside of me, the final proof. You've taken all of my firsts so far, and I want to give you all of them." he whispered.

Dean moaned softly as blood rushed down and he hardened almost painfully fast against Castiel's ass. "God... Cas. You're so hot. And you're all mine. Only mine," he said softly, and started kissing and nipping at Castiel's ear.

"Only ever yours," Castiel whispered back, shivering in Dean's arms.

Dean reached down to run his fingers over Castiel's erection. "Gosh... So hard for me, Cas," he whispered.

Castiel arced into the touch, his head leaning back to rest on Dean's shoulder, crying out softly.

Dean gently wrapped his fingers around the length, and began to stroke it. "I'll take care of you, I promise," he murmured, lowering his head to kiss Castiel's shoulder and throat.

Castiel moaned as he felt Dean's warm, rough hand stroking him, still grinding his ass back against Dean.

Dean groaned. "Fuck, Cas... Imagine if I was inside of you right now. You could've been rocking back and forth... Fucking yourself on my cock, while fucking into my fist."

Castiel whined softly. "Not yet...no condom, not yet..." he whimpered, snapping his hips forward into Dean's hand.

"I know, honey, I know... But imagine it, Cas. I bet it would feel great. Maybe we should try it some time... With a condom, of course," Dean murmured, and pressed his hand against Castiel's stomach to pull him close again, then stroked his erection faster.

Castiel trembled, his mouth open in a silent cry as his entire body tensed up, close to an orgasm.

Dean ground his hips against Castiel, precome smearing over Castiel's skin. He stroked Castiel a bit faster, and flicked his wrist with each stroke.

Castiel cried out as he came over Dean's hand, shaking. He spilled onto the floor, which was slowly washed away by the water. He slumped against Dean once he had finished, panting softly.

Dean steadied himself, and wrapped his arms around Castiel to hold him close, and peppered whatever patch of skin he could reach with slow kisses.

Castiel relaxed against Dean's affection, but when he had caught his breath, he turned around and sank to his knees, pressing kisses over Dean's hips.

Dean licked his lips, and rested a hand on Castiel's head, placing the other on the wall for support.

Castiel kissed his way down the v of Dean's hips, before he started mouthing at the base of Dean's erection, kissing up the shaft with slow, open mouthed kisses.

Dean groaned and ran his hand over Castiel's wet, flat hair. "Yeah... That's good, Cas..."

When Castiel reached the head, he lapped his tongue over the head, enjoying the taste of precome before he wrapped his lips around the tip, sucking as he looked up at Dean with his bright blue eyes.

Dean moaned, then smiled softly as he saw Castiel looking up at him. "You're the best, Cas," he murmured, and brushed some hair off Castiel's forehead.

Castiel hummed, and started to bob his head, taking a little more into his mouth with each stroke.

Dean grasped at the wall as he groaned, and leaned his head back. "Fuck..."

Castiel kept on going until he was taking Dean completely into his mouth, swallowing around him before pulling back, his eyes never leaving Dean's face.

Dean let his head fall forward again, and he looked down at Castiel with dark eyes. He breathed heavily as he felt the heat gather in his stomach, his muscles tensing.

Castiel never broke eye contact as he continued, a hand coming up to tease a finger against Dean's entrance.

Dean twitched at that, then let out a soft moan, his cheeks burning.

Castiel stroked over it for another moment before pressing into his perineum, sucking hard simultaneously.

Dean's breathing hitched and he groaned. Moments later, his balls drew up tight and soon he was coming with a soft cry of Castiel's name, his body tense and shuddering.

Castiel swallowed everything, sucking Dean completely through the orgasm, only letting go once Dean was soft again. He carefully stood, his knees aching from kneeling on the tile.

Dean was breathing heavily, but he carefully pulled Castiel into his arms and kissed him on the lips anyway.

Castiel kissed him back, holding close. "i love you," he whispered softly, shivering. The water was turning colder and colder.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, and quickly kissed Castiel again before turning the water off.

Castiel stepped out of the shower and got two fluffy towels, handing one to Dean before he started drying off.

Dean quietly watched his fiancé while drying himself off. "... Some times I still can't believe how lucky I am to have you."

Castiel cocked a soft smile. "Every day, I wake up wondering if I've been dreaming. But then I turn over, and you're always there, by my side."

Dean smiled in return. "Well, you have been dreaming, since you were sleeping before you woke up," he teased, and kissed Castiel on the cheek. "No, but seriously... Life's good. With you."

Castiel embraced Dean, holding him close. "You make my life worth living," he whispered, a huge thing for him to say.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in return, and cuddled up to him. "I'm happy you think so," he murmured.

Castiel kissed Dean again. "I do believe you owe me a burger," he whispered, smiling softly.

"Yes. And you owe our kittens some attention. Bet they'll be mewing like crazy as soon as we step outside," Dean said, smiling.

Castiel chuckled softly, and opened the bedroom door, walking to their closet to get dressed. From the other side of the closed bedroom door, both kittens were mewing loudly.

Dean snickered at the sound as he followed Castiel, and pulled on a pair of briefs before opening the door when one of them started to scratch on it. "Hello babies, did you miss us?" he cooed as they circled around his feet, mewing and purring loudly.

Castiel smiled as he got dressed, leaning down to pick both of them up and holding them close.

The kittens purred and headbutted Castiel's neck and face.

Dean chuckled. "So happy to be with daddy," he said as he pulled on jeans and a t-shirt, then kissed Castiel on the cheek before he went to the kitchen.

Castiel followed and settled on the couch, petting both Pirate and Daenerys.

Dean soon started humming to himself as he worked in the kitchen, and eventually the smell of burgers spread through the apartment.

Castiel smiled softly, and picked up Pirate, sneaking into the kitchen and placing the kitten on Dean's shoulder. 

Dean tensed up, but quickly relaxed as he heard the familiar purr. "Hi there, Pi. How'd you get up there, huh?"

Castiel chuckled and kissed the back of Dean's neck. "I may have assisted."

"So daddy wanted to be a sneaky shit, huh, Pi? Now what should we do about that?" Dean hummed thoughtfully. "Maybe you should give him kitten kisses, Pi."

Pirate just cocked her head as she looked down at what Dean was doing.

Castiel chuckled, and placed his hands on Dean's waist. "Love you." he whispered.

Dean smiled softly. "I love you too, Cas. More than anything."

Castiel kissed the back of his neck against, chuckling as Pirate bounded down his own back to get back down to the floor.

"... Y'know, some times it almost feels like the fur balls are our kids, rather than just... Cats," Dean murmured.

"I know what you mean." Castiel murmured. "But I imagine it'll be worse when we do adopt our own."

"Getting up several times a night, getting woken up early on the weekends, washing twice as much clothes as we're doing now and cleaning each room twice a day... Tantrums and crying and scraped knees..."

"Okay, we have kids," Castiel chuckled.

Dean smiled slightly. "Yeah... These ones I can't mess up, either," he mumbled.

Castiel wrapped his hands around Dean, pressing close. "You don't have to worry, Dean. You dote on our kittens, I can't imagine you wouldn't dote on a child. And you've basically raised Sam."

"I just... Dad wasn't great. I'm just scared that... I might... Y'know... Do the same things," Dean whispered.

Castiel held him close. "You're a much better man than your father, Dean. You've done wonders for Sam, and for me."

Dean let himself lean into the touch, and sighed softly. "Maybe I am... But I'm still scared. Ugh. Sorry for bringing it up, we're supposed to just be enjoying ourselves."

"It's all right," Castiel murmured, planting a kiss on Dean's cheek. "We still have years to think about children. I don't want to adopt until I'm out of college."

"Yeah... It's better that you get your degree and that we get settled, before we do anything like that... Also, I like my alone time with you," Dean said, and turned to kiss Castiel on the lips. "But for now you gotta let go so I can finish our food."

Castiel pouted, kissing back before he let go of Dean, leaning against the counter to watch.

Dean just smiled, and a moment later he took the finished patties out of the pan and started putting the burgers together. 

Castiel smiled softly as he watched. "Thank you for making these for me," he murmured.

"It's nothing, Cas, you don't need to thank me. You always cook, so it's the least I can do." Dean wiped his hands on a paper towel after he'd finished.

Castiel embraced Dean, holding him close. "These burgers were the first thing you made me, the first day we met," he murmured, "They were the best things I've tasted in my life, apart from your lips and your cock."

Dean laughed softly. "Oh wow. I taste better than food. Don't think I've ever received a better compliment than that," he said, clearly amused. "Do they just taste that good 'cause they got a nice memory attached to them, or are they really that good?"

"They're really that good," Castiel replied, his arms wrapped around Dean's waist again. "And you do taste better than food. I could kiss you or blow you for hours and never get tired of it."

Dean leaned into the embrace and smirked. "Mmh... Really now? Because we can make that happen, you know."

Castiel smiled and kissed his ear

Dean just smiled. "Better eat while the food's warm, Cas. Cold burgers aren't very good."

Castiel stole a quick kiss before he took his plate, closing his eyes to pray softly before they ate. When he took the first bite, he let out a soft groan and a large smile. "These make me...very happy."

Dean smiled and lifted his brows, feeling very amused. "Well aren't you just too adorable for your own good," he said, before taking a bite himself.

Castiel blushed slightly. "You're one to talk, Dean." he replied. "Don't think I don't see you cuddling and cooing to the kittens when you get ready for work."

Dean almost choked on the next bite, and turned pink. "H-hey... They won't leave me alone unless I give them cuddles."

Castiel laughed. "We spoil our kittens rotten." he replied.

"Yeah... Maybe we do. But I'd rather they're fat, lazy and spoiled, than unhappy," Dean said, and shrugged slightly

"I do have to agree," Castiel replied, finishing his burger happily.

Dean finished off his own hamburger, then leaned back and patted his belly. "Mmh. That was pretty good."

" _Really_ good," Castiel replied, taking the dishes to wash them.

Dean smiled as he just leaned back and watched Castiel.

Castiel finished cleaning, and then immediately turned to embrace Dean, fitting perfectly into his arms. "June, just until June, and you're mine forever." he whispered.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and sighed happily. "Yeah. And nothing, absolutely nothing, will get in our way..."

Castiel nodded, pressing close. "What kind of roleplay would you be interested in doing? That's something we need to talk out and plan before we do it." he asked softly, cheeks turning red.

"Eager, aren't we?" Dean chuckled, and wiggled his brows suggestively. "And definitely doctor/patient."

"I should have realized," Castiel teased back. "You'll get the chance to play Doctor Sexy."

"Awesome." Dean grinned. "I wonder what kind of patient you'd be... Maybe I'll give you a real nice prostate exam."

"You're the doctor, you tell me," Castiel hummed softly, kissing Dean's neck.

Dean lowered his arms to gently pat Castiel's ass. "Gotta make sure everything's working well."

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean again. "Let's cuddle and watch a movie, please?" he asked softly.

Dean smiled and nodded. "Of course, honey. Your time to choose what to watch," he said, and stood up.

Castiel smiled and went to their shelf, pulling out "Avatar," for them to watch, eating up the movie before he went to settle on the couch with Dean. Pirate jumped up into Dean's lap, purring and kneading.

Dean chuckled and started petting Pirate. "If you step on my junk, then you're getting off," he warned the cat, befored putting an arm around Castiel and pulling him closer.

Castiel happily cuddled closer. Pirate just purred and settled down once she was comfortable, closing her eye.

Dean smiled as he watched the movie with his fiancé and one of their kittens.

Castiel made it half ways through the movie before he fell asleep, his head cradled against Dean's chest.

Dean didn't mind, and simply let Castiel sleep. When the movie was over, he carefully removed Pirate from his lap, then shifted around a bit before managing to pick his fiancé up. Carefully, he carried Castiel to their bedroom.

Castiel was completely passed out, and didn't wake as he was moved. He had had a long, exhausting day.

Dean put Castiel into bed, and removed his clothes before tucking him in properly. Then he went to turn off the tv, brush his teeth, strip down to his underwear and then finally join Castiel in bed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!  
> First, I'd like to apologise if some parts don't make sense or if there are some formatting errors(or possibly notes to me from Cinder or from me to Cinder!). This thing is almost 5 500 words and I've already spent too much time on editing this(I'm a busy bee, with BB art deadlines coming up and my full time internship starting next week!). Sorry!
> 
> Also, don't forget about our poll! [Life's a Bitch](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3794374/chapters/8447128), our other story, ends in October and we want to know what story we should post next! [Click here for the poll!](http://goo.gl/forms/mrLAABISSC)
> 
> Cheers for being halfway through the week! Friday's right around the corner!  
> -Uke


	21. Just An Easy Morning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**
> 
> Castiel is woken by a nightmare, and is a little shaken but is generally okay. He manages to get back to sleep, and in the morning, he and Dean share lazy cuddles and sweet kisses and words until Castiel has to leave for class.

Around three in the morning, Castiel bolted upright in bed with a loud shout, eyes wide and scared and breathing hard.

Dean was startled into consciousness by the shout, and turned to look at Castiel. "... Cas?" he mumbled.

Castiel shook his head, burying his face in his hands, breathing hard. "Go back to sleep...I'm okay." he whispered.

Dean made a face and rubbed his eyes. "You sure, hon...? You don't sound okay."

"Nightmare," Castiel admitted. "I'll be fine..."

"Okay, Cas, whatever you say... Just no wandering off somewhere, and no doing any bad stuff," Dean mumbled. "And I'm free to cuddle if you need to."

Castiel nodded, and got out of bed to get a drink of water, needing to calm his thoughts for a little. He returned to bed about fifteen minutes later, cuddling against Dean's side.

Dean was already asleep when Castiel came back, and let out a soft sigh as the bed dipped, and turned his head towards Castiel.

Castiel just buried his face into Dean's neck, falling into an uneasy sleep with Dean's scent in his nose.

Dean woke up in the morning, and had no desire to get out of bed. All he wanted to do was cuddle, so he wrapped his arms around his fiancé and snuggled close.

Castiel blinked open tired eyes, and cuddled back against Dean, not particularly wanting to get out of bed either.

"Mmh, mornin'," Dean mumbled, then yawned softly.

"Morning," Castiel murmured back, cuddling close. He could feel the soft fur of one of their kittens resting on his foot.

Dean tangled their legs together, somehow managing not to disturb the kitten, and closed his eyes. "So warm and nice," he mumbled.

"Mmm." Castiel hummed in agreement, feeling his half-hard morning erection grow a little bit more against Dean's hip.

Dean didn't notice, as he was too busy burying his nose in Castiel's hair and take a deep breath. "Smell good..."

Castiel hummed in response. "You smell better," he murmured, his own face in Dean's chest.

Dean chuckled. "No... I do not," he mumbled, and lazily ran his hand up and down Castiel's back.

"You do...you smell like leather, and oil, and sun and whiskey. And it's perfect." he whispered.

"Whiskey? Really?" Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel's forehead. "I haven't had that in a while."

"I know, but it's just...there. Like, it's the closest thing I can think of to describe the smell."

"Mmh... Honey's got an amazing sense of smell," Dean chuckled softly.

"Are you talking about me, or bee excrement?" Castiel asked,

"I'm talking about you, silly." Dean kissed Castiel's head.

Castiel chuckled softly. "Sorry, little tired. Didn't sleep too well after I woke up."

"It's okay. I could sleep the day away. Let's sleep the day away," Dean murmured.

Castiel sighed softly. "I would love to, but I have a class in about four hours." he murmured.

Dean frowned. "Oh yeah... That's true. Guess we'll have to sleep all day another day..."

"Yeah..." Castiel nuzzled into Dean's neck. "Doesn't mean we don't still have a few hours before I have to get up."

"Mmh... Also true," Dean said, and hugged Castiel closer. "Plenty of time to cuddle."

"Indeed." he murmured, and felt tiny paws leap onto his back. Daenerys purred, and butted her head into Dean's shoulder.

Dean chuckled softly. "Mmh... Morning to you too, kitten," he said softly.

She purred, and rubbed her head against their cheeks. Castiel chuckled softly, and pressed a soft kiss to Dean's neck before kissing Daenerys.

Daenerys sniffed at Castiel's mouth and cheek, then started licking his jaw. Dean chuckled softly. "Lovely kitten kisses..."

Castiel smiled, still keeping their bodies pressed together. "Almost like a two year old," he chuckled. "But I still prefer kisses from my husband-to-be."

"Well... If you prefer fiancé kisses, I think something can be arranged." Dean smiled and wiggled his brows. "Wanna get to my level or should I get to yours?"

Castiel shifted upwards, so both of their heads were laying on the same pillow, smiling at his fiancé.

Dean smiled wider, and leaned in to press a sweet, gentle kiss on Castiel's lips.

Castiel smiled into the kiss, and when the kiss broke, leaned in for another, just as long and sweet.

Dean hummed happily. "To think I get to wake up to this for the rest of my life," he murmured.

Castiel smiled softly, lacing their fingers together. "And when we pass, we will reunite in heaven. For me, there is no heaven without you." he whispered.

Dean smiled back, and kissed Castiel again. "We can build or own heaven here on earth, first. A little one, just for us. Maybe we'll get a nice house, and nice neighbors. We'll have the cats running around, and there'll be space in case we want kids... Man. If I could, I'd build a house for you, Cas."

Castiel smiled, pressing their foreheads together sweetly. "I know you would," he murmured. "I know you would do anything for me, as I would for you." 

Dean drew small circles on Castiel's lower back with his finger. "Yeah," he said softly, and grinned widely.

Castiel smiled in return, and kissed Dean again, soft and slow. He nipped at Dean's lower lip gently as he pulled away.

Dean made a soft noise, and leaned in to kiss Castiel once more.

Castiel was content to just kiss Dean for the better part of an hour. When they stopped, his lips were swollen and tender, and they remained slightly parted.

Dean smiled warmly as he looked at Castiel, his own lips red and sensitive. "You're gorgeous," he whispered.

Castiel smiled in return. "Not compared to you," he murmured. "Especially looking like this, your lips red and swollen. Because of me, because I kissed you like that."

"You should see yourself. You're definitely more gorgeous, with your lovely lips, sharp cheekbones, and beautiful, blue eyes," Dean said softly, and reached up to caress Castiel's cheek.

Castiel blushed. "That's nothing compared to your strong jaw, perfectly shaped face, and those clear, clear green eyes. Your face is actually perfectly proportioned, unlike 95% of the population." his fingers reached up to trace distances, murmuring what was the proportional distance for Dean's features,

Dean chuckled. "And because of that, I got freckles all over to ruin it," he murmured, and didn't close his eyes, trusting Castiel to be careful.

"Your freckles are beautiful. I love them." Castiel murmured. "Have you hear the saying? That freckles are the result of angel kisses?" Castiel kissed the tip of Dean's nose.

"Mom always said that," Dean replied, and blinked at the kiss. "... Does this mean I'll get another freckle on my nose?" he asked, and grinned.

A soft smile toyed at Castiel's lips. "Maybe," he replied teasingly. 

"My pretty, pretty angel," Dean purred, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel blushed, and returned the kiss. "I need to shower before I go to class..." he murmured, shifting. "Would you prefer to join me or make something for lunch?"

"I'll make something for lunch. Let you actually get cleaned up instead of making you messy again," Dean said and gave Castiel another kiss.

Castiel chuckled, and stretched before he got out of bed, heading to the bathroom to ge his shower.

Dean got out of bed and pulled some clothes on, then went to the kitchen, the kittens following and running around his feet.

Castiel emerged some time later, his face freshly shaven and his hair still damp. He was wearing one of Dean's shirts, a lighter, long sleeved shirt underneath it.

"Well hello there... Is it make Dean look like a hobo day, today?" Dean joked as he saw his fiancé. "Just kidding. You look great, Cas."

Castiel blushed slightly. "We need to do laundry, most of my shirts are dirty." he replied, making his way into the kitchen.

Dean nodded. "All right, better write that down. Pretty sure we all need to have some of our clothes washed."

Castiel nodded, and wrote the chore down in his perfect, legible handwriting on the notepad they had on the fridge. "What's for lunch?" he asked, before turning to face Dean.

"Stir fry made from a little bit of everything that wouldn't last much longer. Thought it would be a waste to throw it away."

Castiel nodded in agreement. "Smells good," he smiled at his fiancé.

Dean smiled back. "Good. I just hope it taste as good as it smells."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's cheek before he went to gather his things and put then in his bag.

Dean served up the food on two plates when he'd finished cooking it.

Castiel took a plate, and said a quick prayer before he began to eat. "Dean, this is delicious." he hummed, eating it a little faster than normal, since he still had to walk to class.

Dean smiled and chuckled. "Just please don't choke on it, and chew properly. I don't want you to get a stomach ache," he said between bites.

Castiel gave him a quick smile, finishing his food and giving Dean a quick kiss before he was out the door, rushing so he wasn't late to class. They had spent a little too long in bed.

Dean chuckled and shook his head, hoping Castiel wouldn't get in trouble. He calmly finished his food, then took care of the dishes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a cute, sweet little chapter for you guys :) it helps break up all the stress!
> 
> ~Cinder


	22. His Life in Paintings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMAY/SPOILERS**  
>  Time passes and life goes on, and Castiel finds a new job and Dean finished the repairs of the Impala. One day, Castiel comes home with big news. The art show that his college is hosting is something he's worked had to be selected to get into - and he does it! His works are being showcased, and he's nervous about it. Dean, Castiel and Sam attends the show and the brothers see the works Castiel had been working on for the first time. There are multiple pieces and they're all connected, telling Castiel's life story from a happy child, to a dark time, to a bright future he longs to have with his fiancé.
> 
>  **WARNINGS**  
>  Descriptions of the paintings Castiel did for the show contain violence, extreme bullying/abuse, hints toward selfharm and depression, death of a parent, selfportrait depicting scars, someone talking Castiel out of a suicide attempt.

A few months passed. Castiel had found a new waiter job, and Dean had repaired the Impala to her former glory. Charlie and Dorothy had both become close friends to the pair, and Sam as well. Sam was doing well in his studies as always, and was going to fly back to Lawrence at the start of Winter Break to spend Christmas with Jess and her family.

Castiel let himself into the apartment, a look of shock on his face. "Dean!" he called out, hoping the other wasn't at work.

"Where's the fire?" Dean called back lightheartedly from the kitchen, and a moment later he walked out of the kitchen to greet his fiancé properly. He paused as he saw Castiel's face. "... What's the matter?"

Castiel threw himself into Dean's arms. "I...I did it." he whispered. "They chose my pieces to be in display for the show. I was chosen as the Fine Arts student."

Dean blinked, then he grinned widely and wrapped his arms tight around Castiel. "I knew it," he said. "That's really great, Cas- when is the show? I totally have to see it. Maybe we can coax Sam into coming along to see it, too."

"Next week." he murmured. "Next Saturday at 8pm is when it opens."

"Awesome. Definitely going," Dean said, then kissed Castiel. "I'm so proud of you, Cas."

Castiel smiled softly. "I'm just...scared. Of what people will think," he murmured.

"It doesn't matter what they think, Cas. Anyone who says anything bad is probably just jealous of your skills." Dean grinned.

"It's the theme." Castiel murmured. "I'm just scared of what people will think of me,"

"... Well. No one seems to think that Picasso is weird, yet look at his work," Dean said. "Really, Cas. It's gonna be fine. This is a really good opportunity. You should make the most of it."

Castiel took a deep breath, and nodded.

 

The next Saturday came faster than Castiel would have liked. He was fitting himself into a suit, nervous. His hands were shaking as he tried to do his tie.

Dean was already dressed and ready to go, and was just waiting for Castiel to finish. After a while though, he went back into the room to check on his fiancé. "Hey, Cas... How's it going?"

Castiel was trembling, nervous and almost on the verge of a panic attack. He could barely grip the tie in his shaking hands.

Dean put a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Cas - Oh. Dude, go sit down, you're shaking like a leaf."

Castiel leaned into Dean. "I...I can't do this. Everyone is going to judge me..." he whimpered.

Dean's face softened, and he wrapped his arms around Castiel. "No, they're not, Cas. They're gonna love your work."

Castiel swallowed hard as he shook. "The paintings....they're self portraits. And they tell a story, a very personal story...and I didn't think I would be picked, but I was and now everyone will see them..."

"It's okay Cas. They will be amazed that you dared to do such a thing, honey," Dean murmured, and kissed the top of Castiel's hair. "Tonight's going to be great. But we gotta fix your tie first, handsome."

Castiel swallowed and nodded, letting Dean help to fix his tie. Sam was waiting for them in the Impala, dressed nicely as well.

Dean smiled as he finished with the tie, and made sure it was properly done before kissing Castiel's forehead. "Now come on, hot stuff. Me and Sammy will be with you all the time. You have nothing to fear," he murmured, and took Castiel's hand in his own as they walked to the Impala.

Castiel squeezed his hand gently in return. "Thank you." he murmured in reply.

When they arrived, the gallery was swarming with people, and Castiel started to shake again.

Dean placed a hand on the small of Castiel's back. "Hey, it's okay. I'm here, and so's Sammy," he murmured.

"We've got you Cas, seriously." Sam murmured, patting his shoulder.

Castiel swallowed, and nodded, leading the brothers towards where his display was.

Castiel's work was set up in a long hallway, and the lighting changed throughout it. The first painting was a self portrait. A young Castiel, with wide, blue eyes and a smile on his face. He couldn't be any older than twelve. This painting was lighted very well. As people walked down the hall, they would see the next painting. 

Dean smiled at the painting. "Man... You're really fantastic at what you do," he murmured, amazed by Castiel's skills.

Castiel swallowed. "This is only the first," he murmured, as they continued walking.

The next one was dimmer, and it was a painting of the same young Castiel at the foot of some lockers, legs of others in sight. He was bleeding, bruises and cuts covering his face, and had large bags under his eyes.

Dean tried not to stare as he swallowed thickly. It reminded him of the day he and Castiel had gotten to know each other. Sam swallowed as well, and they moved on to the next painting.

The next was of this young Castiel crying at the foot of a gravestone; his mother's. This one was even more dimly lit than the previous. Castiel swallowed hard as he looked at this one, this had been the hardest one for him to paint.

Dean reached for Castiel's hand, and laced their fingers together. He could understand that Castiel was afraid of people's reactions. Castiel squeezed Dean's hand firmly, and they continued walking.

The fourth painting was of an older Castiel, this one the seventeen year old version. He was once again beaten against the lockers, still bruised and bleeding and the bags under his eyes even more prominent.

Dean chewed on his bottom lip, and gently rubbed his thumb over Castiel's hand.

Castiel swallowed. "The next few...aren't pleasant." he warned Dean. Sure enough, the lighting was growing dimmer and dimmer along the hall, although light could be seen coming from the other end.

Dean licked his lips and nodded slightly. "Okay. Thanks for the warning," he mumbled.

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand tightly as they walked to the next.

The fifth was of a naked Castiel, the shadows censoring out his crotch and ass. But he was covered in all of his scars, the sigil, the word, the stab wounds, everything. This Castiel was crying, holding himself, and was lit with only a dim source.

Dean closed his eyes for a moment and clenched his jaws together, then opened his eyes again, expression stiff as he tried to hide his emotions.

"I told you, I never expected to be picked." Castiel whispered, his own voice choked.

The next painting wasn't lit at all, but there was a flashlight for viewers to use. 

Dean stared at the flashlight for a long moment. "... Do I dare to?" he asked, voice strained.

Castiel swallowed hard. "It's up to you," he murmured.

Dean was quiet, and then he carefully picked up the flashlight. It was Castiel's art. He wouldn't be able to sleep if he didn't take a look.

When Dean used it, it revealed Castiel being talked down from jumping off of the side of a building.

Dean carefully set the flash light down, then walked with the other two to the next painting.

The lighting brightened a little to reveal the next painting, of Castiel eating leftover Chinese under some bleachers by himself.

Dean blinked in surprise at that, his jaw unclenching.

Then, the light was bright again, as this Castiel was joined by another teen; Dean. For the first time since the first painting, Castiel was smiling.

Dean's face softened, and he looked at his fiancé. Castiel gave him a soft smile in return.

The next painting was slightly dimmer. Castiel was once again in the same position against the lockers, same injuries, but now, Dean was there defending him. He was crouched over Castiel protectively, an arm pushing away the bullies and a firm, determined look on his face.

Dean smiled at that, even if it wasn't really a happy painting.

Castiel smiled, and squeezed Dean's hand. Dean gently squeezed Castiel's hand in return.

The next was brighter, and showed Castiel throwing away his razor blades in the trash can in Bobby's bathroom.

Dean's stomach twisted uncomfortably at the sight of the razor blades in the painting, but he remained calm.

The next was bright again, and showed Dean and Castiel sharing a kiss in the front seat of the Impala.

Dean chuckled. "Reminds me of when we first kissed," he murmured.

Castiel smiled. "It was meant to," he murmured.

The next showed them in bed, in a very intimate position, with Dean kissing down Castiel's chest. However, as Dean worked his way down, the scars were fading, leaving smooth, untouched skin behind.

Dean blinked at that, and smiled softly. "Man... You're amazing."

"That's how I feel, every time you touch me," Castiel murmured.

The next was bright, and it was of Castiel proposing on Christmas day. They were sitting on their bed, Castiel sliding a silver band onto Dean's left ring finger. Both of them had smiles and love all over their faces.

Dean grinned. "I like this one. A lot."

Castiel smiled, squeezing Dean's hand. "You'll love the next one." he murmured.

The second to last was the brightest, and it showed them both, Dean in black and Castiel in white, smiling and kissing, clearly on their wedding day.

Dean's eyes grew big, and his lips were slightly parted as he stared at the painting, clearly enchanted by it.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's cheek.

The final picture was just as bright as the first, with a current Castiel in the same portrait pose as the first picture, but with Dean by his side, and smiling as well.

Dean was completely relaxed now, and smiled softly. "Damn, Cas. You're amazing."

Castiel smiled softly. "I love you," he whispered. "And you brought me out of the darkest abyss."

"But you did the actual work, Cas," Dean pointed out, then kissed Castiel softly on the lips.

Castiel kissed him back. "Are you glad now I didn't tell you?" he asked softly.

"I think so, yeah," Dean said and nodded slightly. "Some parts are... A bit overwhelming, but still amazing. I'm proud of you, Cas."

Castiel smiled, and hugged Dean closely.

Sam smiled. "You're super talented, Cas. Really."

Dean returned the hug, and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "Our talented little artist."

Castiel smiled and blushed slightly. "Thanks..." he murmured.

Dean smiled widely. "So, what's next, Cas?"

"Well, we can go look at the other pieces, and later there's going to be an interview of all of us who made it, which I'm not looking forwards to. There's also free food that we can go and get."

"Yeah, the interview's probably gonna be tough, but... You'll be fine. Also, did you just say free food?"

Castiel laughed, and squeezed Dean's hand. "Yes, free food. It's just finger food, to snack on while you look at the work."

Dean wrinkled his nose. "How fancy. Finger food."

"It is an art gallery," Sam pointed out as Castiel led them towards the line. They were offering chips and fruit and mini sausages. 

Dean avoided the fruit, and only took a few sausages, not really wanting to embarrass Castiel by taking too many.

Sam gave him a proud smile behind Castiel's back as he took a little bit of everything, as did Castiel.

Dean gave him a disgruntled look in return. Sam just chuckled and stuck his tongue out playfully.

Castiel started munching on his food. "So, why don't we look around at the other works while we wait for the interview?" he asked.

"Well. It wouldn't hurt so all right. Let's go take a look," Dean agreed.

Castiel led them to the pieces next to his, the photography major. As soon as they stepped into the room, there were eyes everywhere, staring with pale blue and going all the way to black.

"... Awwww man," was the first thing Dean said as he saw it. "It's the eyes."

Sam chuckled. "It looks really cool, you have to admit," he murmured, looking around.

Castiel wandered over to the wall with the blue/green eyes. "Hey Dean," he chuckled. "I found yours."

" _The wall has eyes_ ," Dean whispered, then went over to Castiel to take a look. "... Those are mine?"

Sam cackled while Castiel nodded, pointing to the picture of Dean's bright green pair.

Dean stared at the picture. "... Huh. Doesn't look so bad. Now let's find yours," he said, and started looking at the pictures of the blue eyes.

Castiel's pair were in the center of the blue eyes, the most crystal clear example.

Dean grinned as he found them, and pointed at the picture. "Now that's a nice pair of eyes."

Castiel chuckled. "I'm fond of them. I'm even more fond of a certain green pair."

"I think I like the blue eyes more," Dean said, and put an arm around Castiel's waist.

Castiel looked up at him with a soft smile, and leaned up for a kiss.

Dean smiled, and happily pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss.

"Hey guys!" Garth called out behind them. "I told you the eyes were amazing!"

Dean blinked, and looked over his shoulder. "Oh, hey Garth."

Castiel looked over his shoulder as well. "Hello."

Garth grinned. "Saw your stuff, Castiel. Deep shit man, no wonder they picked you. Serious balls."

Castiel flushed and looked down.

Dean smiled and gently rubbed Castiel on the back. "It is amazing, Cas."

"So do you really look like that?" Garth asked. "With the sigil and everything?"

Castiel just slunk into Dean at the question; it was exactly what he had been afraid of.

Dean gently rubbed Castiel's back in a soothing manner. "He might, he might not. We're just gonna leave that to your imagination, Garth," he said.

Garth pouted. "No fair. Cause I would love to do a shoot of your body if it does-"

"You shouldn't make self mutilation beautiful." Castiel murmured. "If you were paying attention, it was in the darkest point of my life. They are ugly, and are not meant to make a body beautiful."

Dean rested his hand on Castiel's waist, and held him close.

Garth held up his hands. "Sorry, sorry. Seriously, did not mean to offend."

"It's all right," Castiel murmured,

"... You wanna go look at something else?" Dean asked Castiel, quietly.

Castiel nodded, just slightly enough that Dean could tell. "Well, congrats on making the show as well, Garth."

"You did a great job," Dean said, giving Garth a thumb up. "It was nice talking to you, but we're gonna move on, look at the other stuff before the interviews. See you later, buddy." He patted Garth on the shoulder, then gently pulled Castiel along as they walked off.

Castiel relaxed once they were out of the showroom. "Thanks," he murmured.

"It's nothing," Dean murmured back, and kissed Castiel's temple.

Castiel smiled softly, and they walked to look at the sculpture display.

Dean looked around at the sculptures, but not with the same interest as he'd looked at Castiel's work, or when he'd looked for Castiel's eyes.

Castiel looked around as well, respect in his eyes. He wasn't talented at the 3-D arts, so this was impressive for him.

After a while, Dean whispered in Castiel's ear. "So we've covered yours, the photography, sculptures... What's left?"

"Graphic design," Castiel replied. "And that's the last one."

"Okay. Let's go look at that whenever you're done looking at the sculptures," Dean said.

Castiel nodded. "I'm good now, let's go." he murmured.

The graphic design display was beautiful, and Castiel smiled as he looked at it.

Dean was mostly focused on the way that Castiel was smiling, and he couldn't help but smile too.


	23. Interviews

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**
> 
> Castiel sits for his interview, and he does his best to answer the questions they ask. But when they start asking about the painting with his scars, he gets more and more anxious and pushed. After the interview ends, he hides in the bathroom and starts to have an attack. Dean finds his fiance and comforts him, though some of what Castiel talks about scares him a little. After the attack subsides, Castiel reassures Dean that though he will always have his illnesses, he will never leave Dean alone. When they get home, Castiel makes Dean's favorite meal to try to comfort him.
> 
> **CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNINGS**
> 
> Discussion of self harm scars, panic attacks, mentions of suicidal thoughts and tendencies.

After a few minutes, an Asian kid ran up to them. "Castiel? We're ready for the interviews now."

"Thanks Kevin," Castiel replied, with a tight lipped smile. The interviews would be conducted on a stage, live, and Castiel wasn't at all looking forwards to them.

"I'll need you to come with me."

Castiel nodded and squeezed Dean's hand before letting go.

Dean smiled at his fiancé. "You'll be fine, Cas," he said softly, then watched Castiel leave with Kevin.

Sam tugged at Dean's shoulder. "Cmon, let's go find some good seats." he urged his brother.

"Yeah, all right." Dean nodded and went with Sam to hunt down good seats, so they could see the stage properly.

There were two students doing the interviews. Kevin was one of them, and they interviewed the graphic design artist and sculptor first. There were pretty generic questions, and a few delving into the reason why they chose their theme.

Finally, Castiel was introduced. He walked onto the stage, his hands trembling as he tried to give a smile, sitting down.

The other student was a girl named Maggie, and she smiled at Castiel. "Hi, Castiel. How are you tonight?"

"Nervous," Castiel replied, almost flinching back from the microphone as he heard his voice echo. "How about you, Maggie and Kevin?"

"I'm doing great, especially after seeing all of the wonderful artwork here tonight," Kevin replied.

"Yes - all the artworks shown today are incredible. It gives at least me a burst of inspiration," Maggie said. "How does it feel to be one of the few to show your work tonigh, Castiel?"

"Honestly, I never expected to be chosen." he replied. "I'm just barely starting, this is my first semester, and I assumed the theme would be a little too dark for the judges' liking."

"But it isn't dark as a theme," Kevin argued. "You showed a theme of courage and love."

"Your work is very captivating, and it's caught a lot of people's attention. It's a journey through darkness, that ends with happiness. That is uplifting, and beautiful," Maggie added.

Castiel quirked a soft smile. "Beautiful it became, maybe, but not how it started."

"So, why did you choose this theme to apply for the show?" Kevin asked.

"Like I said, I was not expecting to be chosen. So I did something for me, that may have been turned into a gift for my fiancé, if not for this. It's...hard for me to express myself sometimes, and my work is the best medium for me."

"So this theme, is it inspired by your own life?" Maggie asked.

"Yes. All except the second to last have happened. And that one will happen in the near future."

"The second to last... Oh, that is the wedding one, isn't it? How come that one is placed second to last?"

"I wanted to have bookends to my set," Castiel replied. "I opened with a portrait of myself as a young, happy child. I wanted to end it with the same portrait, although as an older self to display how I've grown throughout the years. And of course, I had to include my other half, the reason I'm here."

Maggie smiled. "That is so very sweet, Castiel."

Castiel quirked a soft smile. "He's my muse." he replied simply.

"So Castiel, I've been hearing a lot of people asking the same question. Do you really have all of the scars you painted, or is that just symbolic? And what does the sigil mean?

Castiel tensed hard at the question, and he swallowed softly. "The sigil is an angel banishing symbol," he replied, although he avoided the other question.

Dean had his fingers crossed that Castiel would be able to make it through the interview without getting too worked up, even if this was a very sensitive subject.

"What is the meaning behind the scars and the sigil, and why did you include them in the painting?" Maggie asked, pushing a little bit since Castiel didn't answer.

Castiel shifted in the chair, clearly uncomfortable, his eyes searching the audience until he found Dean's. "I am very religious." he replied slowly. "And I felt like the angels had left me. And I went through a period where I wanted them to stay away." he avoided the scars question yet again.

Dean gave Castiel a small, reassuring smile, and didn't break eye contact.

Maggie nodded. "So that's what the sigil symbolizes... But what about the rest? Are they only a detail to give the painting a specific feeling, or something else?"

Castiel shifted again, panic starting to appear on his face, although it was discreet. "Yes," he whispered.

Maggie seemed a little disappointed, as if she'd hoped for a different answer, but she stopped pushing. "All right. I admit it, it is a very nice touch."

Kevin nodded. "It was indeed. Well, Castiel, I'm sure we'll be seeing more of your work around!"

Maggie smiled. "Thank you for being here with us and giving us some of your time, Castiel."

Castiel nodded, and made his way offstage, trembling slightly, feeling caged and pushed.

Dean frowned as he watched Castiel make his way off the stage, barely hearing when they announced the next person to come up on stage.

Castiel didn't come to find Sam and Dean, although he texted Dean a few minutes later.

"Not ok."

Dean frowned at the text, and texted back quickly.

"Where are you?"

"Restroom."

"Ok. Coming."

Dean poked Sam on the shoulder. "Cas needs me," he whispered, then quietly snuck out, ignoring any dirty looks he got. Then he went to find the restroom and Castiel.

Castiel was the only one in there, and he was staring into a mirror at himself, trembling and shaking, scratching his nails over the word Alistair had carved into his arm.

Dean was quiet as he opened the door and stepped inside, then carefully approached Castiel. "... Cas?" he said softly.

"Why couldn't I lie?" Castiel whispered. "Why did they keep pushing? I... I told them that everything was real, but they kept pushing..."

Dean gently pulled Castiel away from the mirror, and hugged him to his chest. "They don't know you, they don't understand... But it's over now, Cas."

Castiel leaned back into Dean's arms, still shaking. "They couldn't see it... that despite everything, I'm still broken, will always be broken..."

Dean swallowed, and tightened his hold around Castiel. "You'll be okay, Cas. You're gonna be fine."

"But I won't be," he murmured. "I fight every single day, Dean. And one day, I won't be strong enough, and that terrifies me..."

Dean bit into his lip. "Don't say that... Please don't say that. You **will** be fine, you're going to get better."

"There's no cure," Castiel whispered, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I'm treating the symptoms, managing it. But I will never be cured."

Dean didn't know what to say, so he just lowered his head and squeezed his eyes shut, and continued to hold Castiel.

Castiel started to cry, trembling in Dean's arms, clutching at them like they were the only things holding him together right then.

Dean's heart broke at the sound and the feeling of Castiel's trembling body, but he kept it to himself. Castiel needed him to be strong. He hummed quietly and rocked them and forth slightly in an attempt to comfort his fiancé.

Castiel slowly, slowly started to calm, matching his breathing to Dean's, his body slowly stilling.

After a long while, when Castiel had calmed down or was at least a lot less upset, Dean pressed a gentle kiss to the side of Castiel's face.

Castiel leaned into the kiss, breathing through parted lips. "I'm sorry..." he whispered.

Dean didn't say anything, just pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek and held him.

Castiel kept whispering "I'm sorry...I won't leave you, I promise...I'm sorry." over and over.

"It's okay, Cas," Dean eventually said. "Let's just go home..."

Castiel kissed Dean on the lips. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

"You don't need to apologize... It's fine," Dean whispered back.

"I do. Because I said things I shouldn't have said." Castiel murmured, burying his face into Dean's shoulder.

"... Is it true though, what you said?" Dean asked quietly.

"...which thing?" Castiel asked quietly.

"Everything..."

Castiel swallowed. "There isn't a cure," he murmured. "That much is true. I will live with my depression and anxiety for the rest of my life. And...I do have to fight. But not every day. I have days with you, when I am so happy it doesn't even cross my mind." 

Dean looked away as he nodded slightly to show that he was listening, his eyes turning glassy.

It broke Castiel's heart to see Dean in so much pain. "But I will never, ever leave you of my own accord." he whispered. "No matter how dark it gets, you will always be my light. My reason. Always my reason."

Dean closed his eyes and quickly wiped at them with his sleeve, then looked at Castiel. "... You promise?"

"I promise. I swear to you, by my namesake, by God himself, by whatever you want me to swear by, that I will never, ever leave you alone." Castiel whispered. "You are, and will always be my reason. The love of my life, the one who raised me from hell."

Dean sniffed softly, and nodded jerkily. "Okay... All right. Sounds good."

Castiel hugged him tightly. "I can't leave you. Not when we have such a beautiful future ahead of us."

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in return. "Yeah," he agreed, voice soft.

Castiel kissed wherever he could reach. "I love you, I love you more than I can express. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking, I never meant to hurt you."

"I know that now..." Dean murmured, and buried his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel clung to Dean, tightly. "I'm sorry..." he whispered. "Never, never leave you... Never. I promise, I promise."

"It's okay, Cas... It's okay," Dean said.

"You're hurting, and it's all my fault..." Castiel whispered. "I hurt you, and I never wanted to...made you cry..."

"Wasn't crying. Eyes got irritated by my too long eyelashes," Dean mumbled. It felt better to say that than to admit the truth.

Castiel choked out a laugh. "I know you better than that, Dean." he whispered.

"I know you do," Dean whispered back, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's jaw.

Castiel held him close. "I love you. I love you so much." he whispered.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean replied softly.

Castiel touched Dean's cheek with his hand. "Let's go home." he murmured. "And I'll make some grilled cheese and tomato soup."

Dean looked at his fiancé. "You sure you're up to it? Pretty sure we have left overs we can just heat up..."

"I'm sure." Castiel murmured. He needed to make this up to Dean, and making his fiance's favourite meal seemed like the best way to start.

"Okay, if you say so..." Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel gently on the lips. "Let's go home, then."

Castiel kissed him back, and moved to grab a paper towel, dampening it and cleaning Dean's face gently.

Dean whined in protest, but didn't stop Castiel from doing it.

Castiel kissed him on the lips once he finished.

Dean took Castiel's hand in his own. "Can we go now?" he asked softly.

"Yeah. Where's Sam?" Castiel asked softly.

"Oh. He's probably waiting... Just a sec," Dean mumbled, pulling out his phone to text Sam, asking where he was.

Sam replied with he was waiting by the Impala.

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand gently.

"He's by the car already. Let's go," Dean murmured. He laced their fingers together, and gave Castiel a gentle kiss before leaving the bathroom.

Castiel kissed back, and followed Dean out.

Sam was waiting by the driver's seat, and he held out his hand for the keys.

Dean looked at his brother, and didn't even bat an eye as he willingly handed over the keys, then slipped into the back seat.

Sam frowned. It must have been bad, for Dean to so willingly hand the keys over.

Castiel slid into the backseat as well, curling up in Dean's arms.

Dean closed his eyes and held Castiel close.

Castiel kept as much of their bodies touching as he could, their hands, cheeks, torsos. He closed his own eyes, and whispered a soft, nearly inaudible prayer.

Dean couldn't hear what Castiel was saying, as he was too into his own thoughts to really listen.

Castiel finished, and he squeezed Dean's hand gently.

Sam drove them back to the apartment, and parked the car in their usual spot. "We're home," he murmured.

Dean blinked his eyes open, then nodded. "All right... Thanks Sammy," he mumbled, and forced himself to move away from Castiel so they could get out of the car.

Castiel immediately moved to link their hands back together as soon as they were out of the car, and Sam let them all into the apartment.

"Make yourself comfortable on the couch, I'll make our dinner, okay?" Castiel murmured softly, touching Dean's cheek gently.

Dean frowned slightly, still wondering why Castiel wanted to waste energy on cooking, even if it was a simple meal. "... All right," he murmured.

Castiel kissed Dean again, sweetly and softly, before going to the kitchen to cook.

Dean moved over to the couch and flopped down on it. It didn't take long until the kittens came running, jumping up on the couch and his lap and demanding attention. He gently petted them as he waited for dinner.

Castiel made dinner, and put their plates and bowls together before taking it out to Dean, sitting next to him and giving him his plate, kissing his forehead sweetly.

"You're too good to me," Dean murmured softly as he took his plate, and looked at Castiel.

Castiel just kissed him again, and murmured a soft prayer before he went to retrieve his own plate.

Dean waited until Castiel was sitting down beside him, before he even considered to start eating.

Castiel curled up as close as he could without encumbering them while they ate.

Dean ate slowly, savoring the food and leaving as little as possible.

Castiel ate slowly as well, setting the bowl down on the table when he finished. Pirate leapt up and started licking at the leftover soup.

Dean smiled lightly at that. "Kittens aren't supposed to like tomato soup, girlie," he murmured, lifting a leg to poke Pirate with his food. Pirate just ignored him and continued.

Castiel smiled as well, too tired to protest or scold her. Daenerys lept up and joined her, eating the little bit of soup Castiel had left.

Dean rolled his eyes. "You too? Man... Fur balls," he mumbled, still holding his plate and bowl even if he'd finished. He didn't want to move.

Castiel took the plate and bowl, and set them down on he coffee table, curling up next to Dean.

Dean put his feet up on the couch, and wrapped an arm around Castiel.

Castiel cuddled close. "I'm sorry." he whispered, still feeling guilty.

"It's fine," Dean murmured, closing his eyes.

Castiel kissed Dean's neck and jaw.

Dean made a soft, content noise at the feeling.

Castiel hummed softly, and kissed him softly.

Dean kissed back just as gently, and drew circles on Castiel's thigh with one of his fingers.

Castiel hummed into the kiss, and relaxed into Dean's arms.

Dean pulled away just a little bit, just so he could speak. "We should probably put the dishes in the sink and go to bed..."

"Yeah..." Castiel murmured. "But I don't want to move..."

"Mmh... Will you come to bed if I promise to carry you?"

"Yeah..." Castiel murmured softly.

Dean nodded. "All right... Let me just put these away," he said and put his feet down, and detached himself from Castiel. He shooed the kittens off the table, then grabbed the dishes and went to put them in the sink.

Castiel watched, his face in a soft frown. He didn't like how Dean was feeling down.

Dean came back into the living room. "All right, Cas, let's go to bed," he said softly, moving closer to wrap one arm around Castiel's middle and the other under his legs.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean's neck, and clung to his front as he was lifted up.

Dean held Castiel close while he carried him, and carefully made his way to the bedroom. In the bedroom, he gently set Castiel down on the bed.

Castiel settled down, and pulled off his tie, and got undressed.

Dean also got undressed, letting out a sigh of relief when he was only clad in his briefs. He went to the bathroom to take a leak, then went back to slip into bed.

Castiel wrapped and arm around Dean's waist, curling close and nuzzling his cheek.

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel in return, and turned to press a kiss to Castiel's forehead.

Castiel sighed softly. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean murmured back.

Castiel gave Dean another soft kiss before he fell asleep.

Dean stayed awake for a long while, watching Castiel sleep, and just thinking about things. Though eventually he closed his eyes, and fell asleep too.


	24. Miserable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Summary/Spoilers**
> 
> Castiel wakes in a horrible mood and doesn't feel like he's able to get out of bed. Dean takes care of his fiance as best he can before he has to leave for work. Castiel spends the day in bed with the kittens, and the next morning he asks to go visit his therapist. After a long session, Castiel has been re-diagnosed from his original one over six years prior and given new medication to combat that. Castiel feels much better after learning what was wrong, and he and Dean relax together.
> 
>  **CONTENT/TRIGGER WARNING**  
>  Depressive episode, lack of motivation/energy, rediagnosis

Castiel woke the next morning, and was hit with an overwhelming urge to just stay in bed. He didn't want to move, at all.

Dean was still asleep, laying perfectly still on his back, his head leaning in Castiel's direction.

Castiel just looked at Dean, and was hit with a wave of guilt and self-loathing. He curled up and buried himself under the covers, deciding that getting out of bed was not going to happen.

Eventually, Dean's alarm went off. He grunted and rolled over to turn the alarm off, then carefully sat up and stretched his arms and back.

Castiel didn't budge, not moving out of bed.

Dean blinked as he noticed that Castiel wasn't moving. "... Cas?" he asked softly, not knowing if Castiel was still asleep or not.

"I'm awake." Castiel mumbled.

"Oh. Okay. Mornin'," Dean murmured, and leaned over to kiss the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel just grunted, burrowing further into the covers.

Dean frowned at that. He decided not to comment on it though, and just got out of bed and went to freshen up in the bathroom, then came back out to get dressed in his working clothes.

Castiel hadn't moved at all out of bed, but it was his day off anyways.

Dean cast a worried look at his fiancé. "... Are you not feeling good?" he asked.

"Physically, I'm fine. Mentally...." he trailed off. "It's a day I'm not getting out of bed."

"Oh... Okay. Uhm... Want me to fetch you a water bottle or something...? Maybe you want something to eat before I leave?"

"Water would be smart...and I'm not hungry." he murmured, his voice slow and weighted down.

Dean frowned deeply, but knew that it would be hopeless to try and convince Castiel to eat. "All right... I'll make some sandwiches and put them in the fridge, in case you change your mind and manage to get out of bed," he said, then went off to the kitchen.

"Mkay." Castiel mumbled, burrowing deeper under the covers.

Dean ate his own breakfast while preparing the sandwiches. When he was done, he put them away and prepared a bottle of water, then went back into the bedroom to place the bottle on the nightstand. "I'll have my phone on all day. I'll see you when I get home."

"Mkay. Love you," Castiel murmured, still curled up in bed. He hadn't budged from his one spot.

"Love you too," Dean said softly. "Later, Cas." He grabbed the rest of the things he needed, and then made his way out of the apartment and headed off to work for the day.

Castiel remained in bed the entire day, only getting up to relieve himself once and returning to bed immediately after. He drank half the bottle of water, and slept a little, but not much. Mostly he just thought.

Dean came home a bit later than planned since he'd gone shopping after he finished work, and was tired when he let himself into the apartment. "I'm home," he called out, heading straight to the kitchen.

Castiel replied with a soft "Hello, Dean." from the bedroom, slowly sitting up.

It didn't take long before Dean walked into the bedroom. "How're you feeling?" he asked softly.

Castiel shrugged softly. "I've been better." he murmured, slowly pulling the covers off, although he was clearly making an effort so Dean wouldn't worry.

"... You don't have to get out of bed, y'know," Dean said. "Unless you want to, of course, but... Yeah. You don't have to."

Castiel just sighed softly. "You'll worry..." he whispered.

Dean's face softened. "I would worry even if you forced yourself out of bed, Cas..."

Castiel slumped back into the bed, his face pained. His hair was messy and greasy, not having taken a shower. "I'm sorry, I just... I can't. I can't..."

"Hey, hey... It's okay," Dean said as he went over to the bed. "There's no need to apologize."

 

"I just...I'm so useless." he murmured. "I can't even bring myself to get out of fucking bed..."

Dean sat down on the edge of the bed. "You're not useless, Cas... But you're not feeling good."

Castiel leaned into Dean, sighing. "Physically, I feel fine. I hate this..."

"I know... But there's not a lot you can do, now is there? Just gotta wait it out," Dean murmured.

"Yeah..." Castiel murmured. "I'm sorry...I'm making you worry..."

"It's okay. I know you're safe here, so I don't worry as much as I could be..." Dean reached down to brush some hair out of Castiel's face.

Castiel sighed softly, closing his eyes. "The kittens kept me company." he murmured.

"That's good," Dean mumbled, and caressed Castiel's cheek. "Is there anything you need? Fresh water, food... Or maybe something sweet?"

Castiel sighed. "I'm not hungry, but I should eat..." he leaned into the touch.

"Yeah, you should... Want me to make some soup? It's not much, but it's something..."

"Okay." Castiel murmured. "Thank you..." he whispered.

"It's nothing," Dean murmured. "I'll go make you some right now... So just relax." He stroked Castiel's cheek, before getting up and heading back to the kitchen

Castiel laid back into the bed, sighing softly. Pirate sat on his chest, purring and kneading.

Daenerys was sleeping by Dean's pillow, and was making small, snoring noises, and sometimes flailing her little paws while she dreamed.

Castiel smiled softly at the kittens. "Hey baby..." he whispered softly, stroking Pirate.

Pirate purred and arched into his hand, tail straight up in the air. She looked at Castiel and blinked with her one eye, giving him kitten kisses.

Castiel smiled softly. "Love you, Pi..." he whispered.

Pirate continued to purr, then settled down on his chest to take a nap.

 

Dean came back a little while later, with a bowl of soup in his hands.

Castiel smiled at Pirate, and gave Dean a soft smile when he came in. "Thanks..." he murmured,

Dean smiled at seeing the kittens and Castiel. He smiled even wider as he noticed that his fiancé was also smiling. "You're welcome, babe," he said, putting the bowl on the nightstand.

Castiel reached out and took Dean's hand in his own, rubbing his thumb over Dean's knuckles. "How was work?"

"Work was okay. It was a busy day though. We had a lot to do," Dean murmured.

Castiel hummed in acknowledgement, squeezing Dean's hand gently, sitting upright just a little.

Dean smiled. "It's really good to be home. Missed you, Sammy and the ladies," he said softly.

Pirate woke up from her nap as Castiel moved, and moved off him to go curl up by Daenerys.

"We missed you too," Castiel murmured, the effort to sit up clearly tiring him out. 

Dean watched Castiel. "... You need any help?" he asked carefully.

"I'm okay," he murmured, squeezing Dean's hand again. "Just...tired."

Dean nodded, and rubbed his thumb over the back of Castiel's hand. "Just... Try to get a least little bit of soup into you, okay? Then you can sleep."

Castiel nodded, and let go of Dean's hand to take the soup, forcing a couple of spoonfuls down.

Dean smiled at that. "Thank you, Cas," he mumbled.

Castiel made a slight face, the soup feeling heavy in his stomach. He forced another few down before he couldn't anymore, putting the bowl back down on the nightstand.

"Good job, Cas, " Dean said, gently patting and squeezing Castiel's knee. "You can rest now."

Castiel sighed softly. "Will you lay down with me?" he asked softly.

Dean nodded. "Let me just undress and wash my face, all right?"

"Okay," Castiel nodded softly, and let Dean's hand go.

Dean got up and stripped down to his underwear, then went to the bathroom. He came back a bit later, and moved the kittens to the end of the bed before slipping under the covers.

Castiel cuddled up close, his muscles tense and his brow furrowed as he pressed himself against Dean.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close, and kissed his forehead.

Castiel let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes and taking comfort from Dean's presence. "I'm sorry..."

"It's okay, I love you," Dean murmured, closing his own eyes.

"I love you too." Castiel murmured, finally falling asleep, comforted in Dean's arms.

 

The next morning, Castiel got out of bed and managed to eat a light breakfast. "I think...I think I need to see my therapist." he told Dean softly, poking at the eggs Sam had made.

Dean paused, and lowered his fork slowly. "... Okay. Sure. If you need to, then you should."

Castiel sighed softly. "But, if it's an inconvenience today, I can wait until tomorrow." he murmured, feeling guilty about ruining any plans Dean may have made.

"No no, it's not. I can drive you, it's no problem, Cas," Dean said.

Castiel nodded. "Thank you," he murmured, continuing to poke at his food.

"It's nothing, Cas..." Dean watched Castiel. "... We can save those eggs for later, if you want. And when do you want to go?"

"Whenever is convenient for you," Castiel murmured, giving up on trying to eat more.

"Should we go in... Half an hour or an hour, then?" Dean asked. He felt a little awkward, eating when Castiel wasn't, so he finished quickly.

"Yeah, sounds good." Castiel murmured, his voice dull.

"Okay. Be ready in half an hour," Dean said. When he was done, he stood up and started clearing the table.

Castiel just sat for a good ten minutes before he forced himself to stand and get dressed in better clothes.

Dean was worried about his fiancé, but did his best to keep calm. Half an hour passed slowly, even if he tried to keep himself busy.

"Hey, Cas. Ready to leave?" Dean asked when it was time to go.

Castiel nodded, clad in his sweater and sweats, not caring enough to put on jeans. He quietly followed Dean down to the Impala,

Dean held the passenger door open for Castiel, then walked to the other side to slide into the driver's seat. He started the car, and the ride to Castiel's therapist was a quiet one - Dean really didn't know what to say.

When they got there, Castiel kissed Dean on the cheek before getting out. "I'll call you when I get out, if you want to go somewhere else." he murmured.

"Okay, Cas. See you later," Dean said softly, and decided to wait until Castiel went inside before he even considered going somewhere.

 

Castiel's session, normally only lasting an hour, went on for three this time. When he called Dean, his voice had a bit more life to it, although it was thick, as it became after he cried.

Dean felt a bit relieved at the sound of Castiel's voice, but was still worried that the session had been so long. Though, he still smiled as he picked Castiel up from the therapist session.

Castiel gave Dean a soft smile in return, before it faded slightly. "Sorry about the wait, they had to re-diagnose me." he murmured. "And change up my medication."

Dean's smile faltered, and he looked puzzled. "Re... Re-diagnose you?" he asked.

Castiel nodded. "Before, I had severe recurrent depression, and moderate general anxiety disorder. Now, I have moderate recurrent depression, severe general anxiety disorder, and post traumatic stress disorder."

"... Oh. Okay," Dean said softly, his shoulders slumping slightly.

Castiel leaned into Dean, resting his head on his shoulder. "We'll need to stop by the pharmacy, my medication has changed completely." he murmured. "But...I feel better now, knowing what's going on. And part of the reason I wasn't doing so well was because my medication wasn't right anymore."

Dean nodded, relaxing a bit as Castiel behaved more like he usually did, rather than just simply existing. "All right. I'm happy you feel better, Cas," he murmured and kissed the top of Castiel's head. Then he turned his focus on the road, and started driving towards the pharmacy.

Castiel hummed softly. "I'm sorry, I should have gotten this checked out earlier. I made you worry so much..."

"It's all right, Cas. Better late than never, right?" Dean said.

"Yeah..." Castiel murmured softly, kissing Dean's cheek again and humming along to the radio.

Dean didn't have anything else to say, and just listened to Castiel's humming all the way to the pharmacy.

Castiel went inside and filled his prescriptions, coming back out with four new bottles of pills. He slid into the car and started reading the effects off to Dean, as well as when to take them, since Dean would definitely need to know in case of emergency.

Dean didn't start driving until Castiel had finished reading everything, as he wanted to focus on listening. When it was done, he nodded. "All right," he said, and let Castiel get properly settled before he drove back to their apartment.

Castiel settled in next to Dean's side. "Let's order pizza, and just watch a movie when we get home," he murmured. "Or are you working a night shift today?"

Dean frowned. "Got the night shift today... Wasn't gonna work tonight, but one of the guys has gotten sick, apparently. So I'll be working extra for a while."

Castiel nodded. "All right, it's okay. We need the extra money anyways, we're not done paying for the wedding," he murmured. They had decided to pretend that Castiel's inheritance didn't exist, except for cases of emergency, such as the car accident.

Dean nodded. "Yeah... Man, it really is a good thing that we don't have to pay for Sam's plane tickets for when he's going to visit Jess," he mumbled.

Castiel nodded. "Jess' parents are covering that are, thank god," he murmured. "But we will have the house to ourselves for two weeks, and it'll be our first Christmas with just the two of us."

"Yeah... I think Sammy thinks it's gonna be good to be away from us. He really misses Jess." Dean smiled. "I'll miss him, but at the same time... It's gonna be nice to have to place to ourselves."

Castiel nodded. "Indeed. I'll miss Sam as well, but I can't imagine how I would be if I had to move states away from you."

"We probably wouldn't be any better than Sam... Y'know. I still feel guilty, sometimes... I mean, I don't regret moving here, but I just look at him sometimes and it's just... Hard," Dean admitted quietly.

Castiel rubbed his thigh soothingly. "I know...I feel guilty as well." he murmured. "But Sam told me, before we left Kansas, that the reason he was okay with it was because we made each other happier than anything, and that before me, he had never seen you so happy."

Dean sighed softly. "Sammy's gonna be a great man when he grows up," he mumbled. "But yeah... I'd be happy just being Sammy's brother, but life's a lot brighter as your fiancé. Being with you is the best thing I could think of."

Castiel smiled softly. "And will it change once you're my husband?" he asked.

"Mmh... If it's true that married couples never have sex than yeah, probably," Dean chuckled, obviously joking. "But yeah. Being /married/ to you is gonna be the best thing, when I'm your husband."

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean's cheek and jaw. "Believe me, I don't think I could go very long without having sex with you." he murmured.

Dean grinned. "You're already being the best husband ever," he said lightheartedly, and glanced at Castiel.

Castiel smiled softly. "I'm afraid I'm not feeling in the mood today, but soon, I promise." he murmured.

"It's okay, Cas," Dean said, smiling. "Let's just chill and enjoy each others company until I have to leave for work."

"Sounds perfect," Castiel smiled, getting out of the car once they had parked, grabbing the bag with his new medication and giving Dean his hand.

Dean laced their fingers together, and went with Castiel up to their apartment, and let them both inside.

Castiel put his medicine in the cabinet, throwing his old prescriptions out.

Dean wouldn't admit it, but he felt a bit hopeless when he saw all that medication, so he sat on the bed and paid attention to the kittens.

Castiel joined him a few minutes later, sitting next to him and offering his hand to the kittens, their sides touching.

Pirate purred happily and bumped her head against Castiel's hand, while Daenerys settled down against Dean's thigh.

Castiel smiled softly and pet Pirate, leaning his head on Dean's shoulder.

Dean turned his head to press a kiss to the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel smiled softly. "I love you," he murmured. "And I love you too, Pi." he chuckled as the kitten climbed into his lap.

Dean smiled. "Love you too, Cas. And I bet Pi loves you too," he murmured.

Castiel smiled softly, and took comfort in Dean's presence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry about the delay in the chapter, Uke and I have both been really busy lately. I'm sorry that it comes to a bad chapter, but hey, life isn't always fluff and butterflies.
> 
> I hope everyone is doing well, and that you're having a good week so far!
> 
> ~Cinder


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Sam is going back to Kansas for Christmas to celebrate the holiday with Jess and her family. Dean and Castiel drop him off at the airport and then they go shopping, getting themselves a small plastic tree for Christmas and a few decorations, as well as groceries and things for the cats. They talk a little bit about the future and things get a bit heated up, and when they get home they have sex - and Castiel tops. Afterwards, Dean remains in bed while Castiel makes dinner and then join him in bed again to eat and watch Dean's favorite TV show on the laptop.
> 
>  **CONTENT WARNING**  
>  Bottom!Dean, top!Castiel.

A few weeks passed, and Sam was packing a bag to fly out to Kansas.

 

Dean was leaning against the doorframe to Sam's room, watching his brother pack.

"All right...think I've got everything." he murmured, as he glanced through his bag one last time. "I can't wait to see Jess again... You and Cas'll be okay without me for a few weeks, right?" he teased.

 

Dean smiled lightly at the teasing. "Yeah, I think we'll be good. It's gonna be weird not having our little genius around, though."

Sam chuckled. "I think you'll manage. Cas has enough smarts for both of you, so don't worry."

 

Dean stuck his tongue out. "How mean. You should be nice, or Santa might not give you any presents this year."

Sam laughed. "I get to see Jess, that's enough for me." he replied.

 

"... Okay, that's true," Dean chuckled. "Well, I... Uh. Do you got a little bit of space left in your bag?"

"Depends, what am I missing?" Sam asked quizzically.

 

"One second," Dean said, and disappeared from the doorway. He reappeared a moment later, with a wrapped gift.

 

Sam was confused, but his face quickly turned into a smile. "You shouldn't have," he teased, taking the gift from Dean.

 

"Don't open it until Christmas, or I'll have the kittens bite your ankles when you come back," Dean chuckled, and reached up to ruffle Sam's hair.

 

Sam chuckled and ducked out from under Dean's hand. "I won't, promise. Cas has the presents I'm giving you guys, make sure to put them under the tree when you finally get one."

 

Dean grinned. "All right. I'll send you a photo if we do end up with a Christmas tree."

 

"When," Sam repeated. "Even if it's a small one, give Cas a good Christmas, okay? And go to church with him again, he loved it when you did that for him last year."

 

Dean blinked, then nodded slowly. "Okay, Sammy. I'll send you a picture  _when_ we get a tree." He smiled.

 

Sam chuckled, and pulled Dean into a hug, patting his back. "You both stay safe," he murmured.

 

Dean returned the hug, smiling softly. "Yeah. And you take care of yourself, and tell everyone we said hi."

 

Sam chuckled. "Course," he murmured, before letting Dean go. "Well, I think I'm ready to leave."

 

"All right, Sammy... Then let's get you to the airport, so you can go see the lil' miss." Dean grinned.

Sam grinned, and grabbed his two bags.

 

Castiel was in the kitchen, making lunch for the three of them. He was just making sandwiches, that they could eat on their way to the airport. "Ready to go?" he asked.

 

"Yeah, but don't panic. We have a lot of time, so take your time if you're not done," Dean replied.

"I just have to make your sandwich, and then I'm ready," Castiel smiled.

"Awesome." Dean grinned, and went over to kiss Castiel on the cheek.

Castiel smiled, and stole a kiss before he finished making the sandwiches, handing Dean and Sam each their own.

 

Dean licked his lips. "All right. Now if everybody's ready, let's get going."

Castiel grabbed his phone before following the other two down to the Impala. Sam loaded his bags into the trunk, and slid into the backseat. He had his phone out, texting Jess excitedly.

 

Dean sat in the driver's seat, and looked back at Sam with a smile on his face. He waited until Castiel was settled by his side, before starting the car and driving off towards the airport.

Castiel smiled as they drove, and all three of them began to sing off-tune Christmas carols.

 

Dean felt relaxed and happy while they sang - horribly - and felt a bit better about Sam leaving for a while.

When they arrived at the airport, Sam grinned. "I'll call once I'm in Lawrence," he promised, getting out of the car

 

"All right, Sammy. Don't get yourself in trouble," Dean said, watching Sam.

"I won't. Enjoy having the apartment to yourselves!" he waved at them, before turning to go not the airport.

 

Dean waved back, then he slumped back into the seat with a sigh.

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand. "He'll be all right," he murmured.

 

"I know he will, I'm not worried about that... Just. Y'know. He's grown so much," Dean mumbled.

Castiel nodded. "Yes, he has. A man to be proud of."

 

"Yeah..." Dean closed his eyes for a moment. "So... Anywhere you wanna go?"

"Not really." Castiel murmured. "How about you?"

 

"Well... I was thinking of maybe getting a small Christmas tree... And I think we might be running low on cat food."

Castiel smiled. "I'd like a Christmas tree... And yeah, we only have three meals left for the cats."

 

"So, a Christmas tree, cat food... Anything else you can think of?" Dean asked.

"Hmmm... Well, we need ornaments for the tree."

 

"Yeah, true... We'll probably come up with more things we need on the way. Let's go get ourselves a tree." Dean smiled as he leaned over to steal a kiss from his fiancé, then sat back and started driving.

Castiel smiled into the kiss, and laid his head on Dean's shoulder as they drove. "When we get home, I'll clean out a corner so we'll have room." he murmured.

 

"Sounds good. Do you want any other decorations? Like, decorations that doesn't go on the tree, but on walls and shelves and stuff."

Castiel hummed. "Maybe a wreath to put on the door, but other than that, we don't have much room." he pointed out.

 

"Yeah, you're right. Man, when we get ourselves a house though..." Dean grinned at the thought. "It'll be a few years but... I look forward to it."

Castiel smiled. "You're going to have so much fun decorating, aren't you?"

 

"Of course I am. But not so much fun that we'll be broke," Dean said, smiling.

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean's cheek. "Should we get a real or a fake tree?"

 

"I'm thinking fake tree... I mean, obviously, a real tree is the best, but since we have the little ones and we don't have that much space... I think a fake one is better. Unless you /really/ want a real one."

"No, I agree with you." Castiel replied. "We can get real trees when we get a house," he smiled.

 

Dean grinned. "A big, real Christmas tree... It's gonna be amazing. Though, this Christmas is gonna be amazing too."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's cheek. "It'll be our first one, just the two of us. And the little ones, of course."

 

Dean smiled softly, and placed a hand on Castiel's thigh. "Yeah... It's gonna be nice. Really nice."

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's cheek. "I don't know how I'm going to top last year's present." he chuckled.

 

"You don't need to top it, Cas... Don't even need to give me anything. I'm just happy to have you with me." Dean glanced at Castiel.

Castiel smiled softly. "I still have something for you," he murmured.

 

"Awesome," Dean grinned, and gently squeezed Castiel's thigh, then focused on the road for the rest of the ride to the store.

Castiel got out, looking at the craft store. "Let's go in, hopefully there's some good ones." he murmured.

 

Dean took Castiel's hand in his and laced their fingers together. "Yeah, let's hope so," he said, and went inside with Castiel.

Castiel walked with Dean to the Christmas section, where there were a few different kinds of fake trees, as well as plenty of ornaments. 

 

Dean looked at the fake trees. "... I think I wanna go with a green one. What do you think?"

"Yes," Castiel agreed. "The pink and purple and blue just look too fake, you know?"

 

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Besides, green is more Christmas-y, if you ask me," he said, and grabbed a box.

Castiel smiled, and went to look at the ornaments, picking out a few generic bulbs, and then moves to look at the angel tree toppers.

 

"Are there any dark haired ones?" Dean asked as he followed Castiel, and looked at the angel tree toppers.

"There's a few...all female though..." Castiel murmured

 

Dean frowned. "... Grab a blonde guy and paint his hair?"

"May have to," Castiel murmured "Which one do you like?" he asked.

 

Dean took a closer look, and pointed at one. "This one. Looks better than the other ones."

Castiel nodded, and carefully pulled it down. "All right, anything else?"

 

"Uhm... We got a tree, decorations, a topper... Don't really need more than that, do we?"

"Not that I can think of. We shouldn't do lights, I think Pirate and Dany would chew through them."

 

"Yeah, they probably would. Jeeze. Sometimes they're just like babies... Chewing on everything they can reach."

 

Castiel nodded. "They're still kittens, so they are very much like small children."

 

"Small, fluffy, purring children..." Dean smiled. "... Say, Cas. When and if we have kids... How many would you want?"

 

Castiel paused, and bit his lip. "I'd like at least two. Growing up an only child was difficult, and I want my children to have the same kind of relationship that you and Sam have."

 

Dean looked at Castiel, then nudged him gently with his elbow. "You one of those that want a /big/ family, Cas?"

 

Castiel flushed softly. "...I do," he admitted. "I just....until you and Sam, I didn't really have a large family."

 

Dean smiled. "Yeah, I know... So... Three or four kids?" he asked, grinning.

 

"That would make me happy," Castiel murmured. "But only if we can afford that many."

 

Dean kissed Castiel on the cheek. "If we start couponing, we probably could afford six of 'em," he joked.

 

Castiel snorted and playfully bumped Dean's shoulder. "We'll see, we still have years to decide."

 

Dean just laughed softly. "Yeah, yeah we do."

Castiel led them to the checkout lanes, paying for their things and loading the larger ones in the trunk, and the more fragile items at Castiel's feet.

 

"Now we just gotta get food for the little monster," Dean murmured as he got into the driver's seat.

"Indeed." Castiel murmured. "Oh, and while you're in the grocery store, can you grab some barbecue sauce? I found a meatball recipe I want to try."

 

Dean actually groaned as he started driving towards the grocery store. "I'm gonna be fat in a few years if you keep cooking amazingly delicious food, Cas."

Castiel chuckled. "You'll just have to keep working out then, keep your beautiful body toned." he murmured, running his fingers down Dean' chest.

 

Dean made a face. "I guess I'll have to start... Running," he said, and cringed.

Castiel chuckled. "I'll run with you," he murmured. "I need to start working out, I've been lazy since we moved here."

 

Dean shrugged slightly. "Well, sure, why not... It'll be a pleasure to see your ass moving." He wiggled his eyebrows and smirked.

Castiel snorted. "You see my ass moving plenty," he replied.

 

"Oh yeah, but I rarely see you run," Dean chuckled.

Castiel just rolled his eyes and smirked, his fingers finding and pinching Dean's nipple teasingly through his shirt.

 

Dean made a high pitched noise, and gently swatted at Castiel's hand. "Cas!"

Castiel laughed and kissed Dean's neck, sucking softly on one of his favourite spots, although not hard enough to mark.

 

Dean's cheeks were red, and he did his best to ignore Castiel's mouth on his neck and focus on the road instead. "Gotta park soon, Cas...."

 

Castiel chuckled softly, and nipped at the spot before he let go.

 

Dean huffed softly. A little bit later, they were parked in the parking lot to the store, and he looked at Castiel. "Anything else but cat food and barbecue sauce?"

 

"Not that I can think of. But if you see anything you want, go ahead and get it." he smiled.

 

"All right. See you in a little bit, then." Dean leaned forward to kiss Castiel on the lips, then stepped out of the car and locked the doors before he headed inside, still unable to let go of the paranoia that something might happen if he didn't lock the Impala.

Castiel relaxed inside on the car, closing his eyes and thinking about how he could modify the ángel topper they had bought, to make it more meaningful for them.

 

Dean came back a short while later with a big bag of cat food and a shopping back. He put the cat food in the trunk and the shopping bag in the back seat, before he got into the driver's seat.

"Find anything else you wanted?" Castiel asked, cuddling against Dean's side once he was settled in.

 

"Candy canes and chocolate. It was on sale." Dean grinned, and kissed the top of Castiel's head before he started the car and started driving.

Castiel chuckled, "Sounds excellent." he murmured, gently rubbing and caressing Dean's thigh.

 

"Excellent and delicious," Dean said, glancing and smiling at Castiel.

Castiel smiled back, and kissed Dean's jaw.

 

Dean chuckled, and turned the volume up as 'all I want for christmas is you' came on the radio.

Castiel chuckled, and started singing along to the music.

 

Dean laughed softly, and put a hand on Castiel's thigh and squeezing gently.

Castiel smiled, and leaned up to start whisper-singing the lyrics into Dean's ear

 

Dean couldn't help but shudder and shift slightly in his seat at that.

Castiel reached a hand down to start gently teasing Dean's cock, barely skimming his fingers over it through his Dean's.

 

Dean's breath hitched, and he squeezed Castiel's thigh again. "You want something, Cas?" he asked.

"You," Castiel purred softly, teasing the head of Dean's cock through his jeans.

 

Dean's thighs flexed and he let out a quiet moan, the bulge in his jeans steadily growing. "Hot damn," he murmured.

Castiel cupped his palm against the bulge, gently squeezing and working it as Dean drove.

 

"Fuck..." Dean had to take his hand back so he could keep both hands on the wheel, biting his lip. Luckily, it wasn't too long until they'd be home.

Castiel chuckled and continued gently fondling Dean until he was completely hard.

 

Dean groaned, the outline of his erection clearly visible against his jeans.

Castiel smiled, his own erection prominent. "Mine," he growled softly into Dean's ear.

 

Dean chuckled breathily, cheeks turning red. "Yeah, yeah... All yours, babe," he murmured.

Castiel nipped at Dean's ear, impaitient and not wanting to wait until they got home. He started kissing and nipping at Dean's jaw.

 

"Jeeze, Cas... It's like you just wanna eat me up right here," Dean said, gripping the wheel tight.

"I do," Castiel murmured. "I want to top when we get home." he continued kissing down Dean's neck.

 

Dean licked his lips. "We'll be home in a minute," he said, as he turned the car onto their street.

Castiel didn't let up, and once they parked, he took Dean's lips in a passionate kiss.

 

Dean reached up to put a hand on the back of Castiel's head as he kissed back.

Castiel mirrored the gesture, his fingers running through the sandy hair. "Upstairs," he whispered when the kiss broke. "Grab the groceries so they don't melt, but leave everything else until afterwards."

 

Dean looked at Castiel, then he nodded eagerly. "Okay," he said, and forced himself to moved away from Castiel so he could get out and fetch the shopping bag from the back seat.

Castiel was already heading upstairs, letting the both of them into the apartment. He went straight for their bedroom, stopping only to greet the kittens.

 

Dean first went to the kitchen to quickly put the groceries away, then hurried to the bedroom - though had to stop and slow down as he almost tripped over the kittens.

 

When Dean made it into the bedroom, Castiel pressed against him, catching his lips again.

 

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around Castiel as he kissed back, loving the feeling of Castiel pressed against him like that.

 

Castiel continued kissing Dean as he guided the other to the bed, coaxing him onto his back and sliding on top.

 

Dean relaxed a bit on the bed, even as he started running his hands over Castiel's back and sides.

 

Castiel's ilex, and started kissing at Dean's neck, sucking on all of his favourite spots as his hands slid underneath his shirt.

 

Dean moaned and grabbed Castiel's ass, to gently squeeze and fondle it.

Castiel groaned softly, his fingers brushing teasingly over Dean's nipples. "Want you, want you so bad..." he whispered.

 

"Want you too, Cas. I'm all yours, and only yours," Dean murmured, and pushed Castiel's lower half down to press their clothed erections together.

Castiel groaned, and started rolling their hips together, panting softly and letting out soft noises at the sparks of pleasure.

 

Dean moaned and gasped, his lips parted and eyes closed. He pulled up Castiel's shirt, so he could feel his fiancé's warm, naked skin under his hands.

Castiel shivered, gasping. He leaned up so Dean could pull his shirt off, and then pulled Dean's off.

 

Dean licked his lips when they were both topless, and he pulled Castiel back down by the shoulders, to pepper his neck with nips and kisses.

Castiel shuddered and groaned, his hands running over Dean's torso. "Where'd you put the cock ring?" he asked breathily in Dean's ear.

 

"Our underwear drawer- Only place I could think of that no one would look," Dean breathed out, and sucked a mark onto Castiel's neck.

Castiel shivered and nodded. "Gotta get up then... I wanna last longer than a couple of minutes." he mumbled.

 

Dean hummed, and let go after a moment, when Castiel's skin was red from the suction. "Gonna be a nice mark," he murmured.

"Good," Castiel murmured, getting up and retrieving the cock ring and grabbing the lube and condom out while he was at it.

 

Dean took the chance to remove his jeans and underwear while Castiel fetched the things they needed. He let out a soft, relieved sigh as he tossed his clothes to the floor.

Castiel dropped the items on the bed before pulling off his own clothes, his erection hanging heavily between his legs. He climbed back onto the bed.

 

Dean licked his lips at the sight of Castiel's naked body, his own erection twitching where it was now laying on his stomach. "You're so gorgeous," he murmured.

Castiel huffed softly, climbing back over Dean and straddling his hips, their erections lining up next to each other. "I still don't understand," he murmured, beginning to roll their hips.

 

Dean groaned, his head falling back on the pillow. "Aaah... I guess I... Just have to try and show you," he breathed out.

Castiel shivered slightly, his erection throbbing at hearing the noises come from Dean's mouth. Dean rarely let himself lose control, but he wanted to hear it, especially when he topped. He continued to rock their hips together, their combined sweat and pre come making it easier to move.

 

Dean bit into his lip as he looked up at Castiel, then let his eyes roam over Castiel's body. "You got the most gorgeous lips I've ever seen, and your eyes, they're so incredible... They always show how you're feeling. And your jaw and cheek bones... Gosh, so beautiful," he said, and moaned softly.

 

"Those parts of my body aren't scarred and mutilated," Castiel replied, letting out a moan of his own, picking up the pace.

 

"True, but they're not the only parts that I like," Dean said, reaching out to touch Castiel's thighs. "I just love your thighs. Love the shape of them, love how they feel beneath my hands, or around my waist, or against me in any way. And I love your hipbones. They're sexy, and I love marking them..."

 

Castiel flushed slightly at Dean's words, his thighs flexing against Dean's sides. He panted softly as he continued to move.

 

"And your stomach... Aaah... I love it. It's so warm and nice when I slip my hand under your shirt to rub it. And your chest... G-gosh. I love playing with your nipples until they're sensitive, then play with them more- Fuck, Cas... I love to feel your heartbeat under my palm when I press my hand flat against it," Dean continued on, eyes focused on Castiel's face.

Castiel shuddered and swallowed hard, his hips stilling, in danger of finishing right then and there. His hand found Dean's and laced their fingers together. "I love you," he whispered, "So much."

 

Dean was disappointed that Castiel stopped, but didn't complain. He gently squeezed Castiel's hand, and smiled softly. "I love you too, Cas..."

Castiel leaned down to kiss Dean on the lips, his other hand coming up to start stroking Dean gently. "Didn't want to finish," he explained softly.

 

"Oh, okay," Dean murmured, and closed his eyes as he kissed back gently, while stroking Castiel's thighs.

Castiel kissed Dean, and stroked him for quite a while, before he shifted off, and spread Dean's legs so he could fit between them. He opened the lube and poured some into his palm, warming it up.

 

Dean swallowed softly as he looked at Castiel, but remained relaxed as he kept his legs open for Castiel.

 

"I've got you," Castiel murmured, his other hand caressing Dean's hip. "I promise, you'll be okay. If you start to hurt, tell me, and I'll stop immediately, I promise."

 

Dean nodded. "All right, Cas... I trust you," he said softly, and placed his hands above his head, so that they would be out of the way.

Castiel leaned down to give Dean another kiss before he slicked up his fingers, sliding them down and gently rubbing over Dean's entrance.

 

Dean pressed his lips together at the feeling, and closed his eyes.

Castiel slid down, and took the head of Dean's erection into his mouth as he carefully pressed the tip of his finger inside.

 

Dean gasped, and pressed his head against the pillow, unsure of what feeling to focus on.

Castiel hummed softly, as he gently pressed his finger farther, moving slowly as he continued to suck and lap at the head.

 

"Oh damn," Dean moaned softly, his fingers curling around the pillow.

Castiel paused once his finger was completely inside, wiggling it slightly.

 

Dean bit his lip, his thighs flexing slightly at the feeling.

"You okay?" Castiel asked, pulling his mouth off to speak.

 

Dean nodded. "Yeah... I'm just not very used to the feeling. Even if your hands are very nice... I never told you that I love your hands, did I? But I do."

 

Castiel smiled, and went back down on Dean, bobbing his head as he pulled his finger out before pressing it back in.

 

"They are just so... S-so nice," Dean murmured breathily, and let out a moan.

 

Castiel took his time, working Dean open as much as he could before gently pressing in a second finger, afraid he was going to hurt him again.

 

Dean spread his legs a bit wider as he felt the second finger pushing in, and looked down at Castiel.

 

Castiel pulled away again. "Is this okay?" he asked softly.

 

"Yeah, it's okay... I don't mind if you wanna do it faster, either... I'll tell you if it hurts," Dean murmured.

 

Castiel nodded, and started moving his fingers in and out a little faster, scissoring them to open Dean up further.

 

Dean let out a soft noise at the feeling of being stretched further, and he gripped the pillow tight as Castiel's fingers brushed against his prostate. "Oh!"

 

Castiel smiled softly, and started brushing his fingers over Dean's prostate, prodding gently at it.

 

Dean shuddered and moaned, muscles clenching and relaxing. "Fuck, Cas," he moaned.

 

Castiel was easily able to slide a third finger in, stretching Dean out further, still playing with his prostate.

 

Dean was panting, and it didn't take long until he was shifting his hips awkwardly, not used to the feeling but wanting more.

 

Castiel smiled as Dean rocked his hips into the strokes. "You want more?" he asked softly. "Does this feel good?"

 

Dean blushed at that, but looked at Castiel and nodded. "Yeah..."

 

Castiel kissed and nipped at Dean's hipbones, sucking marks into them as he gently coaxed a fourth finger inside.

 

Dean twitched and bit back a noise, and focused on Castiel's mouth as he relaxed.

 

Castiel stretched Dean out a little more. "Are you ready?" he asked softly.

 

"Yes, yes I am," Dean murmured. "I want you..."

 

Castiel slowly withdrew his fingers, and slid the cock ring into place, feeling the pressure on the base of his erection. He opened a condom and rolled it on, using the rest of the lube to slick himself up, generously.

 

Dean bit back a disappointed noise and watched Castiel, and pushed his legs up a bit towards himself to give Castiel more space. He licked his lips.

 

When Castiel was ready, he positioned himself over Dean, their foreheads touching and the head of his erection nudging Dean's entrance.

 

Dean chewed on his bottom lip and looked at Castiel, hands gripping the pillow tight. "I love you, Cas," he whispered.

 

"I love you too," Castiel whispered, slowly pressing until the head was in.

 

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath, muscles tensing and relaxing.

Castiel paused. "Are you all right?"

 

Dean nodded, and blinked up at Castiel. "Yeah, I'm okay."

Castiel nodded, and continued tompress in until he was fully inside, panting hard at the feeling.

 

Dean shuddered, and his lips were parted wide as breathed heavily.

Castiel moaned and gasped, holding tightly to Dean'a hand, their forehead pressed together. "Dean..." he moaned.

 

Dean squeezed Castiel's hand. "You feel so big," he murmured softly.

Castiel couldn't respond with words, his body shivering. If not for the cock ring, he would have come already. "L-Let me know...okay to move..." he whispered.

 

Dean reached up with his free hand to caress Castiel's cheek. "Just... Just gimme a moment..." he whispered back. He took a couple of deep breaths, and thought of good things. When he felt enough relaxed, he let out a shaky breath. "Okay... You can move..."

Castiel remained still, panting hard as he waited. When Dean gave him the okay, he slowly started to pull out, and then pushed back in.

 

Dean's cheeks were burning, and he bit his lip at the feeling of Castiel's cock sliding out and then back inside of him.

Castiel continued at a slow pace for a while, before he started to pick it up, letting out soft cries. He adjusted his angle, trying to find Dean's prostate.

 

Dean shuddered and let out soft noises as Castiel thrust into him. He cried out suddenly when Castiel found his prostate, his body clenching around Castiel.

Castiel had to stop moving, his entrie body wracked with a shudder, groaning. He wanted to come so badly, craved it, but he wanted Dean to come first more. He started moving harder and faster, plowing into Dean's prostate.

 

Dean gripped Castiel's hand tight and clawed at the sheets. He whimpered and cried in pleasure, he erection leaking precome all over his stomach. "Cas- Cas, fuck- I'm not gonna- Not gonna last," he panted out, already tensing up.

"Come, please...come.." Castiel whimpered, his free hand moving to the cock ring, getting ready to remove it as he thrust into Dean.

 

It only took a few more thrusts before Dean let out a loud cry, back arching and muscles clenching as he came over their stomachs and chests.

Castiel cried out, releasing the cock ring and coming immediately, spilling into the condom. His breathing stopped as he let out a silent scream, slumping on top of Dean once he has finished.

 

Dean was breathing hard, and he shook slightly as his muscles started to relaxed.

Castiel carefully pulled put, tying off the condom before slumping to the side, panting heavily.

 

Dean slowly opened his eyes to stare at the ceiling for a moment. "... That was incredible," he whispered breathlessly.

Castiel nodded. "I love you...I love you so much," he whispered.

 

Dean turned his head to Castiel and smiled, part of his front teeth visible in the gap of his lips. "Love you too," he murmured.

Castiel leaned in to kiss that smile, the kiss soft Amd slow and sweet. "Are you okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

 

Dean chuckled softly. "I'm fine... But I am gonna be sore," he mumbled. "It's fine, though. It's worth it."

Castiel nodded. "Take your time sitting up, and don't try to walk yet, all right?"

 

"All right, babe," Dean said, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back before getting up to retrieve their post-sex towel to clean up their stomachs and chests, throwing away the condom.

 

Dean carefully stretched, then carefully moved to sit up, though changed his mind and flopped back down on the bed.

"Take it easy," Castiel reminded Dean again. "It's been so long since I first topped that you were as tight as a virgin again."

 

Dean grinned. "Don't think you really minded that, though."

Castiel chuckled. "If not for the Cock ring, I would have come at least six times."

 

"Mmh... I sure did the right thing when I bought that cock ring," Dean said, smiling.

"Indeed," Castiel kissed Dean again. "I'm going to clean the living room, make room for the tree. You stay in here, and yell if you needing something."

 

Dean kissed back. "All right, Cas. Just watch out for the little ones, they might want attention."

Castiel chuckled. "I'll let them in here to cuddle with you and keep you company."

 

Dean grinned. "Sounds awesome. And you'll come cuddle with us later?"

"Of course," Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's forehead before opening the door, letting the kittens into the room.

 

Dean made sure to cover himself with the covers. "Hello ladies," he said, watching as the kittens mewed and rubbed themselves against Castiel's legs.

Castiel chuckled and pet both of them. "Hi," he murmured, picking them both up and depositing them on top of Dean.

 

Dean smiled as he petted the kittens, and cooed softly, "Did the little babies miss us?" He laughed softly as they purred loudly. "I take that as a yes."

Castiel laughed as well. "They missed their Daddy," he murmured, kissing Dean's hand and leaving them while he went to go and clean some space for the tree.

Dean cuddled and played a bit with the kittens, and when they settled down for a little nap, he closed his eyes and dozed off into a light slumber.

Castiel made some room for their little Christmas tree, and brought everything up from the Impala (after throwing on a shirt and a pair of sweats.) he smiled as he went back into the bedroom, and saw the sleeping kittens and Dean, and slid into bed next to them, cuddling close.

Dean snuffled softly when the bed dipped, and he blinked his eyes open. "Mmh... Cas?" he murmured quietly.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel murmured, pressing a kiss to the back of Dean's neck.

Dean smiled lazily, and closed his eyes again. "Hey... How did cleaning go?"

"We now have a place for our tree. I brought it up, but waited for you to set anything up." he murmured.

"Aww... That's awesome. Can't wait to put it up and decorate it," Dean mumbled.

"When you can walk." Castiel replied. "How are you feeling?"

 

"My ass is aching and I'm a little tired, but otherwise I'm good," Dean said, grinning.

Castiel smiled softly. "I'm going to check and make sure nothing tore, okay?" he murmured.

Dean blushed. "Okay, but I don't think anything did..."

 

"Still, just to be safe." Castiel murmured, lifting up the covers so he could check. Dean's entrance was swollen and red, but nothing was torn. "You're okay," he murmured, dropping the covers to give Dean his privacy again.

"Told you," Dean murmured, mostly just because he was embarrassed about being looked at like that. "... Hey, Cas. Did you... Did you end up tearing the first time?" he asked quietly.

 

Castiel was quiet for a little bit. "There was a small one," he murmured softly. "But it healed within a day."

"Oh... Okay. I see..." Dean looked down, feeling ashamed.

 

"It's fine," Castiel murmured. "Like I said, it healed within a day."

Dean frowned. "Still... You're so good to me, and I didn't..." He sighed.

"Hey," Castiel murmured. "Don't beat yourself up over it. I've only had one small tear, Dean. And how many times have I bottomed when we have sex?"

Dean turned and shifted, so that he could snuggle up to Castiel. "I lost count..."

"Exactly." Castiel murmured, kissing his forehead. "It's okay."

"Okay..." Dean said softly, and closed his eyes.

Castiel kissed Dean's face, peppering kisses over it. "I love you. I love you," he whispered.

Dean wiggled his nose, and couldn't keep himself from smiling. "Love you too, Cas," he replied.

 

Castiel held Dean close, and started singing softly. Daenerys lifted her head, purring softly and climbing on top of Dean's head.

Dean huffed softly, but didn't do anything. Pirate couldn't be bothered, and just continued to nap.

Castiel laughed, and kissed the tip of her nose. "Hey there Dany." he murmured.

"Dany's a little poop," Dean mumbled, his eyes closed.

Castiel laughed, and leaned down to kiss Dean underneath Daenery's paws, feeling her settle down on top of both of their heads.

Dean grinned. "She's a purring little poop, who likes to bother her daddies when Sammy's away."

Castiel laughed. "But she's our little one," he smiled, kissing Dean's lips softly.

"I guess that is true," Dean murmured, and kissed back gently.

Castiel smiled softly. "Do you want to try to sit up?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, I do," Dean answered, and reached up with his hands to poke and nudge at Daenerys until she got off their heads.

Castiel chuckled, and sat up, carefully helping Dean to sit up as well.

Dean made a face. "Kind of feels like I still have your dick up my ass."

"I still have that feeling every time," Castiel murmured. "It's normal."

"Oh... Okay. Well then. Everything is like it should be." Dean smiled.

Castiel smiled as well. "We're going to have you stand, and then sit back down on the bed, okay?" he murmured.

Dean blinked. "Why? To see if I can stand up and possibly walk?"

Castiel nodded. "But I don't want to push you with trying to talk right now."

"Okay. All right. Let's try to stand up," Dean said.

Castiel stood first, and then carefully helped Dean to his feet.

Dean gripped Castiel's shoulders, and remained completely still when he was standing.

"You okay?" Castiel asked, voice concerned.

"... I think I am, yeah," Dean said, and shifted slightly, putting his weight on one foot, then the other.

 

"On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being excruciating, how much pain are you in?"

"... Uuh... If I stand still it's sort of a 3."

"And when you move?"

"Just shifting is 4 or 5, but sitting up was a 6..."

Castiel nodded. "You're staying in bed for today, then." he murmured. "And I'll make dinner, okay? We'll decorate tomorrow, if you're feeling better."

Dean pouted. "But... It's not fun staying in bed all day, I learned that last time."

"I know, I know." Castiel murmured. "But I'll bring my laptop, and we can cuddle and watch Dr. Sexy. How does that sound?"

Dean looked at Castiel, then huffed softly and leaned in to kiss Castiel on the lips. "Sounds awesome," he admitted.

Castiel chuckled. "And I'll make burgers for dinner."

"You're the best future hubby _ever_ ," Dean mumbled, grinning.

Castiel made a face. "Please, don't call me that." he murmured. "Honey, babe, tiger, I'm okay with, but that...just rubs me the wrong way."

Dean looked a bit surprised, then smiled softly. "Well, okay. Best future _husband_ , then."

"Thank you," Castiel smiled softly, kissing Dean again before helping him back down into the bed.

Dean obediently got back into bed, and snuggled under the covers.

 

Daenerys pressed herself under his neck, purring.

 

Castiel smiled, and left the room to prepare dinner.

Dean cuddled with Daenerys, and proceeded to wait and just relax.

Castiel returned when he was done making dinner, two plates in hands, one burger apiece and some homemade fries on the side.

Dean grinned widely at the sight, and carefully sat up on the bed. "Smells delicious," he said.

Castiel smiled, and handed Dean the plates while he collected the kittens, putting them outside of the room so they wouldn't try to steal their food.

Daenerys wriggled in protest, then darted off to Sam's room, while Pirate wandered off to sleep on their blanket by the couch.

 

Dean chuckled softly, waiting patiently for Castiel to come back and pray, so that he could eat.

Castiel chuckled, and shut the door, joining Dean on the bed and praying softly. When he finished, he began to eat.

Dean happily started to eat too. "Damn... This is so good."

Castiel smiled. "Good," he murmured, kissing Dean's temple.

Dean smiled as he chewed. "I'm so lucky to have you," he murmured after he swallowed.

Castiel huffed softly. "I'm lucky to have you," he smiled softly.

"I guess we're lucky to have each other, then," Dean said, grinning.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean softly, continuing to eat his meal.

Dean soon finished off his meal, and let out a satisfied sigh. "Thank you for the food," he murmured.

"Of course," Castiel smiled, taking their plates. "Be right back."

"Okay," Dean nodded and smiled too. "I'll keep the bed warm for you."

Castiel smiled, and left, returning with his laptop in one hand and Pirate in his other one. He smiled, and got back into bed, depositing the purring kitten into Dean's lap.

Dean chuckled. "What is this? Is it a sleepy, cuddly kitten, maybe?" he cooed, making Pirate purr louder and turn onto her back, wanting chest and belly rubs. He grinned as he gently rubbed her belly.

Castiel smiled, and cuddled up next to Dean, placing his laptop on them and turning on Dr. Sexy.

Dean smiled, and absentmindedly continued to pet Pirate, while focusing on the drama.

Castiel ended up falling asleep after a few hours, his head cradled against Dean's shoulder.

Dean chuckled quietly as he noticed that his fiancé was asleep, and finished watching the current episode before closing the laptop and putting it aside. Then he carefully pulled and pushed, until they were laying down, and he had an arm wrapped around Castiel. "Sleep well," he whispered, and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this is so late! Cinder wasn't feeling well Sunday and I didn't notice until now that the chapter didn't go up, so here we are! Please send wish her well, I know she'd appreciate it.  
> We hope you enjoy the chapter despite the delay and any spelling/grammatical errors!  
> -Uke


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**
> 
> Castiel wakes up from a nightmare filled with flashbacks, and Dean does his best to comfort his fiance. When they wake up in the morning, they decide to decorate the tree. Afterwards, Dean drives Castiel to work, and after his long shift, takes care of him.
> 
>  **Content Warnings**  
>  Panic attack, flashbacks (not detailed), discussion of scars

Castiel started twitching during the night, before he thrashed out, clearly suffering from a nightmare.

Dean was woken up when Castiel started trashing and turning."... Cas?" he asked, wincing as he sat up too quickly, and looked at his fiancé. He reached out to gently grab Castiel's shoulder. "Cas."

Castiel gasped awake, bolting upright, his eyes unfocused and clearly scared, darting around the room.

Dean frowned as he saw the state Castiel was in. "... Hey, Cas. It's just me. We're home. In our bed," he said softly.

Castiel was breathing hard, and he found Dean's face, burying his face into Dean's shoulder, his entire body shaking. "Sorry...so sorry..." he whispered

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close. "Shhh... It's okay, Cas... You wanna tell me about it?" he asked softly.

Castiel swallowed hard. "Flashbacks..." he whispered. "Alistair..."

Dean nodded, and kissed the top of Castiel's hair.

Castiel clung to Dean, holding him tightly. "I'm sorry..."

"No no, Cas... It's okay. None of what happened in the past was your fault," Dean murmured.

Castiel swallowed hard. "I just...I'm never going to escape him." he whispered. "I see him, see that sick smile, feel when he carved that...word, into my arm."

"I'm sorry he haunts you, Cas... I'm sorry," Dean mumbled, and held Castiel tighter.

Castiel just shook in Dean's arms, slowly calming down and taking comfort from Dean's presence, the feel of his arms and his smell. He slowly started matching his breathing to Dean's.

"That's good honey, nice and slow breaths," Dean whispered softly in encouragement.

Castiel nodded, his breathing slowly evening out. "I'm sorry for waking you..."

"Nah, it's okay... I don't mind. I get to be awake and hold you," Dean murmured, kissing Castiel's head.

Castiel slowly calmed down, his body stilling in Dean's arms.

Dean was quiet for a while. "... Maybe you should get a tattoo. Cover it up with something nice," he whispered.

Castiel nodded. "I think...that would be a good idea." he murmured. "I don't...I don't want those scars. I don't want any of them, but those in particular..."

"Yeah... Let's talk more about it tomorrow. We'll come up with a way to make it easier for you. I promise," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded, his body limp in Dean's arms, exhausted from the nightmare and subsequent panic attack.

Dean carefully moved them so that they were laying down. He held Castiel close, and gently rubbed his back. "Sleep, honey... I'll be here the whole time."

"Promise?" Castiel asked softly, his voice small.

"I promise," Dean said, and kissed the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel nodded, and relaxed against Dean, although it took him another hour before he could finally fall back asleep.

Dean stayed awake the whole time, keeping an eye on Castiel and holding him. When Castiel's breath finally evened out, he let himself close his eyes and fall asleep once more.

Castiel woke the next morning, feeling a lot more exhausted than usual. He sighed softly, and nuzzled into Dean's chest.

Dean was still asleep when Castiel woke up, and he continued to sleep, his arms still around Castiel.

Castiel took comfort in the warmth of his fiance's arms, and just lay there, content not to move until Dean woke.

Dean eventually stirred, and started to slowly wake up, slightly tightening his hold around Castiel.

Castiel hummed softly, his fingers tracing random patterns over Dean's back.

Dean made a soft noise, and blinked his eyes open. "Cas...?"

"Hi." Castiel murmured.

"Morning," Dean mumbled sleepily, closing his eyes again.

Castiel hummed softly again. "You feeling up to getting out of bed today?" he asked. "Decorating the tree?"

Dean perked up at that, eyes wide open. "Of course I do," he said, smiling.

Castiel chuckled. "One step at a time," he murmured.

"Okay, okay," Dean mumbled, and kissed Castiel's forehead.

Castiel smiled, and slowly sat up, his hair messy and the bags under his eyes deeper than usual.

Dean looked up at his fiancé. "Let's get some coffee before we decorate the tree," he murmured, and moved to carefully sit up.

Castiel nodded. "Probably a good idea. How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm feeling fine, and so's my ass," Dean replied, smiling.

Castiel rolled his eyes affectionately, smiling softly. "Let's go." he murmured, giving Dean his hand.

Dean took Castiel's hand in his own, and brought it up to his lips to press a soft kiss to the knuckles.

Castiel smiled softly. "Cmon, we have kittens to feed and a tree to decorate." he murmured.

Dean grinned. "You're right," he murmured, then swung his legs over the edge of the bed, and got to his feet.

Castiel kept a careful eye on Dean as he stood. "You doing okay?"

"Just a bit sore, but it's okay... It doesn't hurt," Dean said.

Castiel nodded, and walked with Dean into the kitchen, starting the coffee maker.

Dean grimaced as he stretched, then let his shoulders slump as he leaned against the counter. For once, he was only dressed in his boxer briefs.

Castiel smiled at the sight, and looked up at Dean. "You look extremely attractive."

Dean blinked, and looked down at himself. "... I think I look pretty much like I always do."

"My point," Castiel replied with a smile.

Dean lifted his head and looked at his fiancé. "... Hot damn, that was actually pretty smooth."

Castiel smiled cheekily. "I learned from the best," he replied, fixing them cups of coffee, handing Dean his mug.

Dean chuckled and rolled his eyes, and cradled the mug in both hands.

Castiel smiled back, and sipped at his coffee, chuckling at the hungry kittens.

Pirate mewed and pawed at Castiel's clad legs, while Daenerys rubbed herself against Dean's while mewing.

Dean laughed softly. "Yeah yeah, babies. Gonna give you food, just a minute..." 

Castiel took another sip of coffee before setting his mug down, and went to grab the cat food.

Dean set down his own mug, and gently shooed the kittens away with his feet as he picked up their bowls, throwing out whatever old food was left and then putting them on the counter.

Castiel scooped some dry food into the bowls and put half a can of wet food on top of that, putting it back down on the floor.

The kittens finally stopped mewing when their bowls were put on the floor and they started eating.

Dean smiled softly. "They're adorable..."

Castiel chuckled. "Indeed," he smiled, looking at their little ones.

Dean snickered. "Dany is making some serious happy noises," he murmured, and sipped his coffee.

"Indeed," Castiel chuckled, drinking his own coffee. "I think we need to eat as well. What do you want?"

"Uhm... I'd be fine with just a sandwich," Dean replied. "Not really that hungry."

"Egg sandwich?" Castiel suggested.

"Sure, sounds good," Dean said, and leaned in to kiss Castiel on the cheek.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean back, before turning to start breakfast. "You wanna set up the tree while I'm cooking?" he suggested.

Dean grinned. "Yeah, sure, and after breakfast we can decorate it together," he said, and slipped out of the kitchen to the living room, coffee mug still in his hands.

"Perfect," Castiel replied, turning to start making their breakfast.

It was a small tree, but it was still enough to make Dean excited to set it up, and he hummed softly as he got work.

Castiel made two egg sandwiches, and brought them out to the living room, smiling at his fiancé.

The tip of Dean's tongue stuck out between his lips as he checked the tree over to make sure he'd put it together correctly.

https://ssl.gstatic.com/ui/v1/icons/mail/images/cleardot.gif

Castiel smiled happily. "Looks nice." he told Dean.

Dean blinked, and smiled as he looked at Castiel. "It's a bit naked, like me, but we'll fix that soon."

"We'll fix the Christmas tree, you mean" he chuckled, giving Dean his sandwich.

Dean grinned and accepted the sandwich. "Yeah. Exactly," he said.

Castiel prayed softly, and they ate. "I'll paint the angel later, after we decorate and before I go to work."

"Mmkay, sounds good," Dean said between bites. "We're gonna have the best angel on top of our tree, ever."  
Castiel chuckled. "But...I can't fit on top."

Dean blinked, then smiled widely. "You're too good to sit on a silly little tree. You deserve like... A throne. A golden throne."

Castiel chuckled, and then the smile faded slightly. "I don't think that much power would end well." he mused softly.

"Well, if you don't like the idea of a real throne, you could always pretend that my lap is your throne..." Dean grinned.

Castiel's smile brightened again. "You are something else, Dean Winchester."

"Well, good thing you realize that now, before we're married," Dean chuckled softly.

Castiel chuckled softly. "We've been basically living together since we started dating," he pointed out. "I've seen you in various states, as you've seen me."

"True... Damn. Thinking about everything we've been through since we got together... Now it kinda seems surreal," Dean murmured.

"Yes....it does." Castiel murmured softly. "But I don't think anyone else could have handled it, except for you." he smiled softly.

Dean huffed softly. "Cas, if anyone deserves any credit, it's you. I... I'm simply amazed some times. With everything you've been through, and yet, you're still here... You're so much stronger than you think, Cas."

Castiel quirked a soft smile. "I've had a lot of help" he murmured. "Before, I was fighting a losing battle with my bare hands. But you gave me a sword and a shield."

Dean smiled lightly as he ran a hand through his hair. "You and your poetic metaphors," he murmured. "I like 'em."

Castiel chuckled softly. "It's how my mind works." he replied

Dean grinned. "I like your mind. I like everything about you."

Castiel smiled. "As I like everything about you," he smiled. "Cmon, we have a tree to decorate."

Dean nodded and continued to grin. "Yeah let's decorate this thing. Where'd you put the decorations?"

Castiel got off of the couch to retrieve the ornaments they had bought.

Dean was still grinning when Castiel came bag with the ornaments. "You get to hang the first one."

"Together," Castiel replied with a smile, opening the box and taking out a pretty blue one.

"Uhm... How so? We both hold the thread and just... hang it somewhere?" Dean looked at Castiel.

"Right on the front." Castiel took part of the loop of the ornament.

"All right," Dean murmured, and carefully took another part of the loop, then followed Castiel's lead as they gently put the ornament on the tree.

Castiel smiled brightly once the ornament was on the tree. "Our first Christmas, just the two of us." he murmured.

Dean smiled, and pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's cheek. "Our second Christmas, together," he said.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's lips. "Our first Christmas as an engaged couple, technically." he murmured.

Dean chuckled. "We spent the first one getting engaged, so yeah," he murmured, and returned the kiss.

Castiel smiled. "And next year will be our first Christmas as a married couple." he murmured.

Dean smiled too. "As Dean and Castiel Winchester," he said softly, gently taking Castiel's left hand into his own.

"As Dean and Castiel Winchester," Castiel agreed softly, leaning in to kiss Dean on the lips again.

Dean kissed back, and laced their fingers together. "Can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you," he whispered.

"I can't either," Castiel murmured, chuckling softly. "If you told yourself, over a year ago, that you would end up falling in love with a socially awkward mentally ill guy, what would you have done?"

Dean thought for a moment. "... Dunno. I probably would've thought that I was crazy. That it was enough with dad, that I didn't need more people to drain me of my life. But over a year ago, I didn't know you. Didn't know you'd be the best thing in my life, didn't know how amazing you are."

Castiel flushed slightly. "If I told myself that I was going to end up with the guy I had been crushing on for three years, I would have called myself insane. You were gorgeous, charming, and had girls all over you. Even if I told myself I had won your heart, I still would have thought I didn't have a chance."

Dean chuckled. "So... What have surprised you the most about me, during the time you've been my boyfriend and fiancé? Have I been exactly like you thought I'd be?"

"No, you haven't." Castiel replied. "I expected you to run the moment you saw my body for the first time. I expected you to throw me aside, hurt me like everyone else in my life did. But you didn't. You helped me, loved me, healed me more than anyone else ever had. I saw your loyalty to your family, to making sure that Sam has a good life."

Dean smiled. "When I love someone, I only want what's best for them. Feels like... Like it's my responsibility to make sure they have a good life," he murmured, pressing their foreheads together. "I want to give you a good life, Cas. The best one I can give you."

Castiel smiled softly, pressing their lips together in a soft kiss. "You've given me a life." he whispered. "You've given me a reason to live."

"I wanna give you more reasons," Dean murmured, and kissed back gently. "I love you."

"I love you too," Castiel murmured. "And you give me a reason, every single day." he whispered.

Dean reached up with his free hand to caress Castiel's cheek gently.

Castiel smiled and leaned into the touch. "We still have a tree to decorate." he murmured.

Dean nodded, and smiled softly. "We do," he mumbled, and kissed Castiel on the lips before letting go.

Castiel kissed back, and lifted another ornament out of the box, starting to hang them up on the tree. He started singing "Jingle Bells" as he did so.

Dean smiled as he listened to Castiel sing, and helped his fiance hang the ornaments on the tree.

When they finished, Castiel smiled brightly at it. "I love it." he murmured.

"Now we're just missing an angel," Dean murmured, wrapping an arm around Castiel.

"I'll paint him right now...or in a few moments." Castiel murmured, leaning into Dean.

Dean smiled softly, and cuddled Castiel. "In a few moments sounds good," he mumbled.

Castiel hummed, and put his hands over Dean's, loving the feeling of safety and comfort Dean gave him. "I love you," he murmured softly.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean murmured, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek.

Castiel turned his head to give Dean a kiss on the lips, smiling as he pulled away. "I'm going to paint our angel now, okay?"

Dean nodded, and smiled widely. "All right. Can't wait to see what he turns out like," he said.

Castiel chuckled, and let go of Dean's hands to fetch his paints and brushes, setting up in the kitchen to work.

Dean stretched a bit, then went to grab a shirt to pull on and plopped down on the couch to watch the kittens examine the Christmas tree.

Pirate started batting at one of the lower hanging bulbs, clearly curious.

"... Honey? The decorations are made of plastic, right?"

"Course they are," Castiel called back. "I figured the kittens would start playing with them."

"Yeah, good. And you were right about the kittens playing. Pirate's already got her paws on one." Dean relaxed, and smiled as he watched the kittens.

Castiel laughed.

Pirate yanked down the one she was playing with, and started batting it around the floor.

Dean laughed too, and moved off the couch so that he could sit on the floor and watch more closely.

Daenerys immediately went to his lap, purring and butting her head against his chest.

Dean grinned, and started petting Daenerys. "Hello there little lady - aren't you a pretty little snugglebunny?" he cooed.

Daenerys purred, and settled down as Pirate continued to play with the ornament.

Castiel painted the angel, and when he finished, he had dark brown hair, piercing blue eyes, and his robes had been repainted to look like a trench coat.

Dean continued to pet Daenerys as he watched Pirate, patiently waiting for Castiel to finish.

Castiel came back, the finished angel in his hands and his smile big. "What do you think?" he asked.

Dean grinned as he saw the angel. "It looks great, Cas. It's perfect."

Castiel smiled. "Put it on top together?" he suggested.

"Yeah, all right," Dean said, and carefully moved Daenerys to the floor, then got up to his feet.

Castiel took part of it as Dean took the other part. "Together." he murmured, as they went to set the angel on the tree.

Dean smiled softly. It was with great care that they put the angel on the tree, and Dean beamed when it was in place.

Castiel beamed as well, looking at the tree before he wrapped his arms around Dean.

Dean blinked, then grinned and wrapped his arms around Castiel in return.

Castiel rest his head against Dean's shoulder. "Can you drive me to work today?" he asked. "I don't feel like walking..."

"Yeah, I can drive you, it's no problem," Dean pressed a kiss to the top of Castiel's head.

"Thanks." Castiel smiled softly, and leaned up to kiss Dean's lips.

Dean smiled and returned the kiss. "It's no problem," he murmured.

Castiel let go of Dean then to go and get dressed for work. He worked at an Italian restaurant now, and had to wear a waistcoat over a long sleeved white dress shirt.

Dean followed Castiel to get dressed too, since he couldn't drive in nothing but briefs and a t-shirt. And he sort of wanted to watch Castiel dress for work, as he loved seeing Castiel in his waiter oufit.

Castiel got dressed, making sure his cuffs were securely fastened, not wanting to slip up and expose his scars to random people. He pulled on his waistcoat and buttoned it up before tying his tie.

Dean pulled on a pair of jeans and socks, while keeping an eye on Castiel. When he saw that Castiel was done getting dressed, he moved over to his fiancé and gently grabbed him by the hips.

Castiel jumped slightly, surprised. "Hello," he murmured.

"Hello, hot stuff," Dean purred, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's jaw.

Castiel chuckled, and gently took Dean's hands off of his hips. "I need to get to work, love." he reminded him. "Maybe I won't take my clothing off when I get home, though."

Dean pouted at first, but then he smiled widely. "All right," he said, and pressed another kiss to Castiel's jaw.

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean's lips as he pulled away. "Ready to go?"

"Ready as I can be. You got everything you need?" Dean asked.

"Yes," Castiel replied, finishing wrapping his leather bracelet around his wrist.

"All right then, let's go." Dean smiled softly, gently grabbing Castiel's hand and leaving the apartment with him.

Castiel laced their fingers together as they went downstairs. "I get off at 11 tonight," he told Dean.

"Oh, okay. I'll be there to pick you up," Dean said, gently squeezing Castiel's hand. "Should I save some dinner for when you get home?"

"Yes please," Castiel smiled. "And you don't have to pick me up, really."

"I want to pick you up," Dean said softly, and unlocked the car when they reached it. "Call me paranoid, but leaving you to walk, all alone after a long day at work, at night... I just can't."

"I'm not female, Dean. Most people don't even glance my way here." he pointed out, getting into the passenger's seat.

Dean bit his lip, lingering for a moment before slipping into the driver's seat. "Okay. But I still want to pick you up."

"Fine," Castiel replied. "But only because you don't have to open at the garage tomorrow."

"All right," Dean said as he turned the engine on, and started driving.

Castiel leaned into Dean as usual, humming along to the radio.

Dean smiled slightly at that, and listened to Castiel's humming as he drove.

When they arrived at the restaurant, Castiel gave Dean a quick kiss before he got out of the car. "I'll call you when I get out," he smiled, waving at Dean as he went into the restaurant.

Dean smiled and waved back. "Later," he said, and watched Castiel disappear into the restaurant before he drove off, going back home.

 

Castiel gave Dean a call around 11:15 that night. He sounded tired, but he had worked an 8 and a half hour shift that day.

Dean quickly got into the car after they had finished the call, and drove to the restaurant to pick Castiel up.

Castiel was waiting outside, chatting with another coworker. He gave Dean a tired smile as the Impala pulled up, and said good bye to his coworker before getting in the car, letting out a relieved noise as he finally sat down.

Dean smiled softly. "Hey, babe... Looking forward to coming home and just taking it easy?" he asked, and leaned over to kiss Castiel's cheek.

Castiel closed his eyes. "We were so slammed tonight, I didn't even get a chance to take a break. I've been on my feet since I clocked in..."

"Oh damn. No wonder you're beat," Dean mumbled, sitting back and starting to drive. "Let's get you home so you can eat and then it's time for bed."

"That sounds lovely." Castiel replied. "I'm sorry, I know I said I would keep my clothes on when we got home, but I need to get out of them..."

Dean shook his head. "Nah, it's all right. It's late and you're tired. We'll just save it for another day."

"Thanks." Castiel murmured, stretching before he rest his head against Dean.

"It's nothing," Dean murmured, eyes focused on the road.

Castiel didn't move, and when they parked he groaned. "Don't wanna move." he mumbled.

Dean chuckled softly. "Will I have to carry you?" he asked.

Castiel sighed. "No, it's okay," he murmured, groaning as he got out of the car and back onto his aching feet.

Dean raised a brow as he got out and locked the car. "... I will carry you if you want me to."

"It's fine," Castiel replied, slowly making his way up to the apartment.

Dean frowned as he followed after Castiel. "... Are you okay?"

"My legs are just sore." he replied. "I'll be fine once I can stretch out in bed."

Dean nodded. "All right. You go straight to bed, I'll bring you the food," he said, and let them both in when they reached the apartment.

"I love you," Castiel replied immediately, heading straight for their bedroom to get undressed and stretch out.

Dean chuckled, and went to the kitchen to prepare a plate of food for Castiel. For dinner he'd made pasta, and pasta sauce with pieces of chicken, and he hoped Castiel would like it. He brought the plate with food to the bedroom.

Castiel had stripped down to his boxers, and was laying out in bed, clear.y happy to be there.

Dean smiled as he went over to the bed, holding the food out to Castiel. "Here you go."

"You're amazing," Castiel mumbled, sitting up enough and taking the plate from Dean. "Smells good."

"Not more amazing than you are," Dean murmured, and brushed a lock of hair from Castiel's forehead. "I hope it tastes just as good."

Castiel said a quick prayer before he started to eat, humming happily as he did so.

Dean sat on the edge of the bed, watching Castiel with a soft smile.

Castiel finished his dinner and let out a happy sigh, "Thank you," he murmured, laying back onto the bed,

Dean took the empty plate. "It's no problem, Cas. Let me just put this away, and then I'll join you," he said, and went to the kitchen.

Castiel settled back down into the bed, his eyes closing.

Dean came back to the bedroom and stripped down to his briefs, before getting into bed.

Castiel turned on his side to cuddle up close with Dean, his muscles tense under his skin.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close.

Castiel relaxed slightly in Dean's arms. "Love you, good night." he mumbled, falling asleep quickly.

"I love you too," Dean murmured. It took a bit longer for him to fall asleep, but eventually he drifted off into a peaceful slumber.


	27. Christmas Eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Summary/Spoilers**
> 
> The couple wake up on Christmas Eve and enjoy some time together before skyping with Sam and Jess. The younger couple update Castiel and Dean on the going ons in Lawrence, and afterwards Dean and Castiel just relax and watch cheesy Christmas movies with the kittens. Then they decide to take a shower together, and the water isn't the only thing that gets hot before they head to bed.

Castiel woke on Christmas Eve, and he smiled happily. "Good morning, Dean." he murmured, kissing his fiancé's cheek.

Dean made a noise and buried his face further into the pillow.

Castiel chuckled, and laid his body out on top of Dean's. "But it's Christmas Eve..."

Dean moaned and pressed his whole face into the pillow. "Make me," he said, words muffled.

Castiel smirked, and shifted so he was just being a dead weight before he started to gently tickle Dean's sides.

Dean squeaked and started to wriggle under Castiel, biting the pillow to muffle his laughter.

Castiel grinned and continued to tickle, straddling Dean so he wouldn't be bucked off.

Dean let go off the pillow and let out his laughter. "N-no! Sto-o-op!" He laughed as he struggled, and flailed with his in an attempt to grab Castiel's arms.

Castiel laughed, and continued to tickle, kissing at Dean's neck.

Dean bucked and flailed and continued to laugh, tears gathering in his eyes. "Noo! Please! I'm awake! I'll get up!"

Castiel laughed and stopped, kissing Dean on the lips.

Dean panted softly and groaned in protest. "You're an evil angel..."

"I love you too," Castiel smiled cheekily.

Dean wiped at his eyes, and looked at Castiel tiredly, but with a smile on his face.

Castiel smiled, and kissed him again. "You awake now?"

Dean kissed back. "Yeah, I am."

Castiel chuckled. "Merry Christmas Eve," he murmured.

Dean grinned. "Merry Christmas Eve, Cas."

Castiel smiled, and cupped Dean's face in his hands as he kissed the other again.

Dean chuckled softly, and kissed back, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Castiel's dark hair.

Castiel kissed him happily, and smiled lovingly when the kiss broke.

Dean's phone went off with a text from Sam. "You two get your asses on skype! Jess wants to see you both."

Dean huffed softly and rolled his eyes at the text, and looked at Castiel. "You get the laptop going, I'm gonna prepare some coffee."

"All right." Castiel kissed him again, getting up to pull on a tacky Christmas sweater before setting up the laptop.

Dean got up and pulled on the first shirt that he found, then went to the kitchen to prepare and turn the coffee maker on.

Castiel logged into skype, waiting until he saw Sam's username blink into online mode, before hitting the video call button. "Calling!" he told Dean.  
Sam picked up, and he grinned widely. "Hey Cas!"

"Hello Sam, Jess." Castiel smiled back. "It's good to see you again."

Jess smiled, the tail of her santa hat bobbing as she moved. "Good to see you too! Where's Dean?"

"'m here," Dean mumbled as he went over to Castiel, and leaned down to wave at Sam and Jess.

"I may have forcibly woken him." Castiel chuckled.

Sam laughed. "He probably deserved it." he was wearing a santa hat as well, and put his arm around Jess.

Dean frowned. "I did not. I was having a great dream," he grumbled, and buried his face in Castiel's shoulder.

Jess leaned against Sam, giggling. "You two doing okay all on your own?"

"I think we are," Castiel replied. "I'm glad you and Sam can spend time together. I don't know how you two do it."

"Constant texting and Instagram," Jess joked, then smiled and looked at Sam. "I don't how, but we do manage well."

Sam smiled and gave her a kiss.

Castiel chuckled. "I think I would go crazy being away from Dean like that."

"Well, you two have that whole profound bond thing going on." Sam pointed out.

"Profound what?" Dean asked, blinking as he lifted his head.

"You two are like... Made for each other," Jess said.

Castiel's cheeks turned a little pink.

Sam chuckled. "Nice to see your face, jerk."

Dean stuck his tongue out. "Nice hat, bitch."

Jess giggled and shook her head. "Shush, you two."

Castiel chuckled, leaning his head against Dean's. "So Jess, you and your family are coming out for our wedding, right?"

Jess nodded. "Yes, of course we are!" she said cheerily, smiling.

Castiel smiled as well. "Good, Dean and I both want all of our family here. And that includes you."

Jess smiled even wider. "That's so sweet of you. But yeah, we're definitely coming."

Dean grinned. "That's good."

Castiel smiled. "Did our package make it there?" he asked. He had mailed his presents for Sam and Jess.

"It came yesterday," Jess said with a small nod. "So don't you worry about that."

Dean blinked, and kissed Castiel's cheek while mumbling 'coffee's ready', and dragged himself to the kitchen.

Sam chuckled. "He hasn't even had coffee? No wonder he wasn't as bright-eyed and bushy tailed as usual."

Castiel chuckled. "Sometimes, I wonder what the caffeine addiction will do to him. And then I remind myself, at least it isn't alcohol."

Jess nodded. "Yeah, that's true. Coffee's a lot better than alcohol..."

Dean came back a moment later, cradling a mug in his hands. "Hi again."

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean's cheek as he sat back down.

"Bobby, Ellen, and Jo say hi." Sam told them. "And we're going to have another wedding to attend not too long after yours."

Dean choked on his coffee, and had to put his mug aside as he coughed. " _What?_ "

Jess laughed at his reaction.

Sam laughed as well, while Castiel gently thumped his back. "Bobby popped the question." he told them.

"Shit, Bobby. I didn't think... Well damn. Didn't think he would... And that Ellen... Wow," Dean murmured.

Sam chuckled. "Surprised all of us. Ellen slapped him before she said yes."

Dean laughed. "Oh boy... Will me and Cas at least be able to finish enjoying our honeymoon before it's time for their wedding?"

"They aren't planning to get married until November, so yes, you'll have a few months as newlyweds." Sam chuckled.

"Awesome," Dean grinned. "Gives us time to plan the travel and to take a few days off if we have to."

"Yep!" Sam smiled. "I'll probably have to take some time off of school, but I mean, to witness Bobby and Ellen getting married?"

"Not something that will happen more than once," Dean grinned.

Jess nodded. "I really hope Ellen will wear a dress... I bet she'd look wonderful," she sighed dreamily.

Sam chuckled. "That'd be like watching Brienne of Tarth in a dress."

"Sam!" Castiel scolded. "Ellen is a lovely lady."

Jess huffed and crossed her arms. "Don't be a fun spoiler, Sam."

"Yeah Sam, don't be a fun spoiler," Dean repeated, a bit more awake now that he had his coffee.

"Fiiine." Sam chuckled, and kissed Jess' temple in apology.

Castiel smiled. "So what else has been going on in Lawrence?"

"Oh, not much. Everything's a lot calmer now that Alistair's and his gang is gone. It's almost too quiet, but I'm not complaining," Jess said, and shrugged slightly. "And oh, but apparently, a woman working at the hospital got arrested for messing with papers and stuff."

Castiel shared a look with Dean. "Maybe it was that receptionist, that time I got extremely sick?"

Dean gritted his teeth. "If it's the homophobic bitch, then I hope she rots in hell," he growled.

Jess frowned. "Oh dear."

Sam frowned as well. "What happened?" 

"I got extremely sick, and we went to the ER. I had to wait over two hours to see a doctor." Castiel explained.

"She refused to acknowledge that Cas was my fiancé. Said that if I 'kept joking and messing about, she'd have me kicked out'. We signed the papers and everything, after she had me say that Cas was my friend instead of fiancé. But when I went to check later, there was another lady there, and she said that Cas wasn't registered," Dean told them.

Jess stared. "... You _dumbass_. Why haven't you said anything until now?"

"Why? Has she done this to other people as well?" Castiel asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

"Well, yeah. I think openly gay people were the only ones that were targeted though," Jess said. "I don't remember if they said what her name was, though..."

Sam frowned deeply. "At least it was only with your admittance papers. She messed with a few to give them the wrong diagnoses or medication."

"Yeah, or to take away their medication completely... No one noticed that anything was wrong until this woman started having seizures or something. It was terrible." Jess sighed.

Castiel frowned deeply. "How can people be so cruel?" he asked softly.

"Because they're arrogant dick bags who think they're so much better than everyone else," Dean muttered.

Sam shook his head. "But anyways, it's been pretty quiet. Alistair and his gang are in prison, though Dick Roman was released on good behavior. After that though, his family moved away, so I doubt we'll be seeing any of them again.

Dean nodded. "That's good to hear. I don't ever want to see their ugly mugs ever again."

Castiel shuddered at the names. "Good." he muttered.

Jess smiled. "So how is it over there? Is everything good?"

"Everything's good," Castiel replied with a smile. "Although...I met my father."

"... Well, you don't sound enthusiastic about it, so I guess it didn't go well?" Jess said.

"I may have punched him in the face a few times," Castiel replied. "And he might be Dean's boss."

Jess looked slightly worried. "Oh... So he knows that you two...?"

Dean nodded. "The boss and I don't talk about it, so it's not really a problem."

"And I hardly ever go to the garage," Castiel added. "I just...don't want to see him."

"It's a good thing you don't have to," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Sam nodded. "Well, we should go, Jess' mom wants to go caroling." He mouthed "Help me," at the screen.

Dean just cackled. "Have fun. Say hi to your mom for me, Jess!"

Jess grinned. "I promise, I will!"

Castiel smiled softly. "Goodbye, have a good time."

"We will. See you later, guys, take care of yourselves. Bye," Jess said and waved to them.

Dean smiled and shook his head when the call ended.

Castiel chuckled, and leaned into Dean. "It was nice seeing them again."

"Yeah, it was. I miss Sammy," Dean murmured.

Castiel smiled softly. "He'll be home after New Years."

"I know. But still." Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel.

Castiel relaxed. "How about I make us some hot chocolate, and then we can watch cheesy Christmas movies and cuddle with the kittens?" he suggested.

"Mmh... Sounds good. Cuddling is good. Kittens are good. Cheesy Christmas movies are okay with you."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's cheek. "We'll watch ones like Rudolph and The Grinch, and avoid the more religious ones." he promised.

"Mmh. Sounds good. Means I can save all my energy for tomorrow," Dean murmured, and turned his head to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back. "Where you considering going to church with me again this year?" he asked, hope in his voice.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. I'm going with you," he said, smiling.

Castiel's lips split into a wide, happy smile, and he hugged Dean tightly.

Dean blinked, then smiled again and wrapped his arms around Castiel in return.

"Thank you. It...it means a lot." Castiel murmured.

"It's nothing, Cas. It's the least I can do for you," Dean murmured.

Castiel kissed him, elated that Dean was doing this for him. "Thank you, so much." he whispered.

Dean gently rubbed Castiel's back. "You're welcome, Cas."

Castiel smiled, kissing Dean again before letting go to get up and start making the hot chocolate.

Pirate leapt up on the couch, purring at Dean.

Dean chuckled, and petted the kitten. "Hey Pi. You up for some cuddle with your daddies?"

Daenerys was sitting by Sam's door, as if waiting for Sam to come out any minute.

Pirate purred, and climbed into Dean's lap, kneading at his thigh.

Castiel came back with two mugs of hot chocolate. "Dany, Sam won't be here for a while." he murmured, watching her.

Daenerys looked at Castiel, then back at the door, mewing before starting to scratch at it. After a few moments she stopped, and waited.

Dean frowned slightly. "I'm starting to think she misses Sam more than I, we, do."

"She is his kitten after all," Castiel pointed out. "She sleeps in his bed most nights." He handed Dean their mugs before going to pick her up, cradling her to his chest.

Daenerys wriggled slightly, but as soon as she was pressed against Castiel's chest, she settled down.

Dean smiled softly. "She's gonna be all over him when he comes back."

Castiel chuckled. "She will indeed," he murmured, settling on the couch and settling Daenerys in his lap, taking his mug of hot chocolate from Dean.

Dean grabbed the tv remote, and opened up Netflix to find a Christmas themed movie.

Castiel settled down against Dean's side, watching as he scrolled through the options, petting Daenerys and sipping from his mug. Pirate reached over their legs to bat and pat at Daenery's head.

Daenerys made a noise and snapped her head up to look at Pirate.

Dean looked down for a moment, confused, but let it go. "Rudolph?" he asked Castiel's.

"Sounds good," Castiel replied, petting Daenerys.

Pirate got up and sprawled over their legs, resting her head on top of Daenery's

Daenerys purred softly, curling her tail around her.

Dean smiled at the kittens, then turned back to the tv to choose the right movie, and pressed play.

Castiel smiled, and settled against Dean's side to watch the movie, feeling safe and at home here, with his fiancé and their kittens.

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel and held him close, while watching the movie with a smile.

Castiel smiled as well, and set his mug down on the coffee table once he had finished his hot chocolate. He cuddled close, his head resting on Dean's side.

Dean set aside his own empty mug, and leaned back. He rested his hand on Castiel's shoulder, just enjoying being this close to his fiancé.

When the movie ended, Castiel looked up at Dean with a smile. "That was always my favorite Christmas movie." he murmured.

Dean chuckled softly. "Mmh. It is a nice movie, I admit," he murmured, and gently rubbed Castiel's shoulder with his thumb.

Castiel chuckled, and pressed a kiss to Dean's jaw. "What's your favorite?" he asked. "We can watch that one next.

Dean looked away quickly, then bit his lip. "Uh... I don't really... I don't really have a... Favorite," he mumbled.

Castiel ran a soothing hand over Dean's chest. "In that case, we'll just have to watch a few more until you decide." 

Dean nodded. "Yeah, let's do that," he murmured, and kissed Castiel on the top of his head. "So... The Grinch, I heard you say earlier?"

"Yep!" Castiel smiled. "The Grinch That Stole Christmas."

"A green mean old thing," Dean grinned, and browsed through the movies until he found the right one, and pressed play.

Castiel smiled, and settled against Dean again as they watched it, happy and content.

Dean held Castiel close throughout the movie. He snickered softly every now and then, at the funny things in the movie.

When that movie ended, they continued to watch a few more, until Castiel could barely keep his eyes open. "M sleepy...." he murmured after they finished watching Frosty the Snowman.

Dean stretched a bit. "Mmh... Is it time for bed, or is it too early for that?" he murmured.

"Dunno," Castiel murmured, cuddling close.

Dean took a look at the time. "Mmh... It's still a bit early... Wanna take a shower or something?"

"Sure. Together." Castiel murmured, stretching out and yawning. Pirate mewed in protest, and leapt off of their laps.

Dean smiled. "Yeah, together," he agreed, and got up from the couch to stretch and lightly scratch his chest.

Castiel got up as well, yawning and padding off to start the shower.

Dean followed after Castiel, and carefully closed the bathroom door to avoid having the kittens run in.

Castiel smiled softly, and reached to start undressing Dean, kissing his lips and jaw as he did so.

Dean chuckled softly as he let himself be undressed. "You're so sweet," he murmured.

"Not as much as you are," Castiel replied, pulling Dean's pants and briefs down, kissing his hipbone as he did so. "Besides, you have a beautiful body,"

Dean smiled as he stepped out of his pants and underwear, then coaxed Castiel into standing up, so he could return the favor by undressing Castiel. "So do you," he said softly.

"I don't," Castiel murmured softly. "But I'm glad you see it that way."

"You do," Dean insisted, and pressed soft kisses to Castiel's shoulders and chest, stomach and hips and thighs, as he removed the clothes.

Castiel's eyes closed, and he shivered under the attention. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured against the skin on Castiel's stomach, then stood up.

Castiel kissed Dean's lips before getting into the shower, helping Dean in behind him.

Dean kissed Castiel's neck when they were in the shower.

Castiel smiled, and his muscles relaxed under the warm water and Dean's touch. 

Dean reached out and ran his hands over Castiel's sides. "I really do think you're beautiful... Gorgeous... Amazing."

Castiel nodded. "I know you do," he murmured. "But...I just can't see myself the way you do"

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. "I wish you could," he admitted.

Castiel leaned into the touch. "I know. I wish I could too," he admitted softly.

Dean held Castiel close, and kissed him gently on the cheek.

Castiel's lips curled in a soft smile. "I do know one outfit that I can see myself as you do, though."

Dean raised his brows. "Oh, and what would that be?"

"You'll see me in it on June 26th," he replied, smiling.

Dean huffed and pouted. "You tease!"

Castiel laughed, and kissed Dean's cheek. 

Dean continued to pout, and buried his face in Castiel's neck.

Castiel smiled. "You kind of saw me in it, you know. At the art show." he murmured.

"I guess you're right," Dean grumbled, and nipped at one of Castiel's sweet spots.

Castiel gasped softly and shivered.

Dean latched on and sucked a mark on the skin, then kissed it gently.

Castiel trembled in Dean's arms. "Dean..." he whispered softly.

Dean peppered Castiel's neck and jaw with kisses.

Castiel shivered, his fingers digging slightly into Dean's back. "I love you..." he whispered.

"I love you too, Castiel," Dean murmured close to Castiel's ear.

Castiel shivered again, before slowly rocking his hips against Dean's.

Dean smiled and pressed a kiss to Castiel's ear, and reached down to gently grab Castiel's ass.

Castiel trembled and let out a soft moan, burying his face into Dean's shoulder as he continued to rock their hips together.

"Need some help?" Dean teased as he gently fondled, squeezed and rubbed Castiel's ass.

"Ah...yes, please..." Castiel whispered, letting out a moan.

"What would you like me to do, Cas?" Dean purred, rolling his hips against Castiel's.

Castiel moaned a little louder. "A-anything you want."

Dean hummed softly, and let go of Castiel so he could sink to his knees in front of his fiancé.

Castiel looked down, his pupils dilated. He ran his fingers through Dean's hair, caressing his cheek.

Dean smiled up at Castiel, then pressed his lips to Castiel's hipbone, while wrapping his left hand around Castiel's erection.

Castiel gasped, slowly hardening further.

Dean slowly stroked Castiel into full hardness, while sucking marks into the skin on his hip bones.

Castiel was panting, leaning against the side of the shower, one hand gently holding Dean's hair.

Dean moved his head so he could lick at Castiel's erection. Bold licks along the shaft, and small licks around the tip.

Castiel let out a shaking moan, his grip on Dean's hair tightening.

Dean wrapped his lips around the tip and started to suck, while stroking the shaft with his hand.

It took all of Castiel's self control not to thrust into that delicious warmth, looking down and watching his erection feed into Dean's lips.

Dean looked up at Castiel, his eyes dark with growing arousal as he took a little bit more of the erection into his mouth.

Castiel whimpered softly, his eyes locked on Dean's, the blue hardly visible at all.

Dean stopped stroking the shaft and sunk h is mouth further onto the erection, then started to bob his head up and down the shaft.

Castiel's eyes fluttered shut and he moaned loudly, his neck arcing back.

Dean ran his hands slowly up and down Castiel's thighs, and hummed around the hard flesh in his mouth.

Castiel gasped and whimpered. "Dean..."

Dean moved his head a little faster.

Castiel shuddered. "Fuck, Dean...close, so close..."

Dean just hummed, and moved one of his hands to cup and fondle Castiel's balls.

Castiel shuddered and came with a loud cry, spilling into Dean's mouth.

Dean stopped moving, but continued to suck. When Castiel was finished, he pulled away and swallowed everything except for the drops that managed to spill out of the corner of his mouth.

Castiel pulled Dean up to his feet so he could kiss the other, licking up the escaped drops himself.

Dean pressed himself against Castiel, and kissed him deeply when the drops of come were gone.

Castiel hummed into the kiss, and held Dean close. "How would you like me to return the favor?"

"Mmh... I don't know. What do you feel like doing?" Dean murmured, hands resting on Castiel's back.

Castiel smirked, and started stroking Dean's erection in his hand.

Dean groaned at the feeling and let his eyes fall close.

Castiel continued to stroke, and then brought Dean's erection in between his thighs, coaxing him to thrust into the space.

Dean's breath hitched, and he held Castiel tightly in his arms as he started to thrust in a slow pace.

Castiel occasionally flexed his thighs, increasing the pressure as he kissed Dean's neck.

Dean moaned as he thrust his cock between Castiel's thighs a bit faster. "Your thighs are amazing," he breathed.

"I'm glad you enjoy them," Castiel replied, bracing himself against the wall as Dean picked his pace up.

Dean buried his face in Castiel's neck, breathing heavily against the skin, feeling the pressure slowly build up in his stomach.

Castiel waited until he felt Dean's tells for an orgasm, and then pushed him back, dropping down to his knees and closing his eyes.

Dean made a surprised noise, and looked down at Castiel in confusion. "... You want me to come on your face?" he asked, taking his own erection in his hand and stroking it.

"Yes," Castiel whispered.

"Okay, as you wish," Dean said, and started stroking himself in earnest, biting his bottom lip. It didn't take long until he came with a moan, his come splattering and falling in ropes on Castiel's face

Castiel waited until Dean had finished before opening his eyes, looking up at Dean with come splatters covering his face.

Dean breathed heavily as he looked down at Castiel. "Fuck, Cas... You look awesome like that..."

Castiel carefully stood, and smiled, licking off a strand that was over his lips.

Dean kissed Castiel on the lips, then licked some come off his cheek. "Mmh... You taste like me. I like that."

Castiel chuckled. "Help me wash it off?" he murmured.

Dean smiled. "Want the cat-treatment or a real shower?"

"Whichever you prefer," Castiel replied with a smile.

"Mmh... I think it'll be a real shower today." Dean pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's cheek.

Castiel chuckled, and closed his eyes as he stepped back under the spray.

Dean smiled, and lifted his hands to gently wipe the come off Castiel's face with the help of the water.

When Castiel felt like he was done, he stepped back out and gave Dean a kiss. "Did you enjoy that?" he asked softly.

Dean nodded, and returned the kiss. "Yeah, I did. You're awesome," he murmured.

Castiel smiled. "You're awesome," he replied, nuzzling Dean's cheek.

Dean chuckled, and pulled Castiel into a hug. "Not more awesome than you."

Castiel chuckled. "We should actually wash, we've just basically had sex this entire shower."

Dean grinned. "But sex is good too," he said while grabbing the washcloth and lathered it with soap, and started washing Castiel's torso.

"Sex is good too," Castiel agreed, closing his eyes and humming happily as he felt Dean washing him.

Dean washed Castiel carefully and all over, and give his fiancé a soft kiss to the cheeks or lips every now and then.

Once Castiel was clean, he took the washcloth and began washing Dean, pressing kisses over his shoulders.

Dean smiled and kept his eyes closed while he was being washed, feeling completely relaxed under the attention.

Castiel gave him a kiss when he finished. "All clean,"

Dean returned the kiss. "Awesome. Let's get out and dry ourselves, then let's cuddle."

Castiel smiled, and turned off the water before getting out and grabbing his towel

Dean got out and grabbed his own towel and started drying himself off.

Castiel finished and walked out of the room, not bothering to pull on clothes as he laid on the bed, waiting for Dean to join him.

Dean left the towel in the bathroom as he went out to join Castiel. He got on the bed and moved close, and kissed the tip of Castiel's nose.

Castiel smiled and cuddled close, nuzzling his face into Dean's neck.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close. "I love you, Cas," he murmured.

"I love you too," Castiel murmured softly, his eyes closed.

Dean pressed a kiss to the top of Castiel's head, and closed his own eyes.

Castiel fell asleep quite quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry about being a day late in posting, both Uke and I had hectic Sundays and it completely slipped both of our minds.  
> We hope you guys had fantastic weekends and enjoy the chapter!
> 
> ~Cinder


	28. An Easy Christmas for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  Castiel and Dean wake up on Christmas morning, and they spend the morning opening presents and just being together.

Castiel woke the next morning, and he was excited, and nervous. He wasn't sure what Dean would think of his present, and he pressed a kiss to his cheek.

Dean made a soft noise and furrowed his brows at the kiss. "Nnh... Five more minutes..."

"Merry Christmas," Castiel replied softly, kissing him again.

"Merry Christmas..." Dean mumbled, and opened his eyes. "... Holy shit, it's Christmas."

Castiel chuckled. "Yes it is." he murmured.

Dean grinned. "That means... Christmas presents!"

"That is does," Castiel laughed. "You make some coffee, and I'll retrieve your present from Sam's room."

"Awesome," Dean said and kissed Castiel on the lips, then slipped out of bed to get some clothes on.

Castiel smiled, and got dressed as well before he went to lug a surprisingly large box wrapped in paper out of Sam's room, setting it up next to their little tree.

Dean had gone to prepare the coffee, and while he waited for it to brew, he looked into the living room and looked at the tree. "... Wow," he murmured, and went off to fetch the two presents he'd gotten for Castiel and that he'd hidden.

Castiel shifted nervously. He hoped Dean would like his present, he really did. He made his way to the kitchen when the coffeemaker went off, pouring two mugs for them.

Dean put the two gifts under the tree. One was rather large but a bit flat, the other was smaller and a bit more cube like.

Castiel brought the mugs into the living room, smiling at the sight of the presents and kissing Dean as he gave him his coffee.

Dean smiled and returned the kiss. "When do we open them?"

"You can open yours first," Castiel replied. He had talked to Sam, and Sam had mentioned how Dean used to play guitar when he was younger, before their father destroyed it in a fit of rage. So Castiel had bought Dean a beautiful acoustic guitar, complete with case, that he had disguised by placing in a large box. Six strings, the guitar was made of Red cedar wood, and Castiel had hand-painted a 67 Impala onto the front.

Dean grinned widely, and set the mug on the table. "So I can open it now?" he asked, even though he was practically half way off the couch already.

Castiel laughed. "Yes you can," he chuckled, taking a sip of coffee.

Dean got off the couch, and in no time, he was tearing through the wrapping. He'd never gotten a Christmas gift that big before. There was a big smile on his face until he opened the box, and he turned speechless as he saw what was inside. "... Cas," he said breathlessly, and carefully picked up the guitar.

Castiel shifted nervously, his smile fading. "...do you like it?" he asked quietly.

Dean examined the guitar when it was out of its case. He held it as if he was going to play, to get a good feel of it. "... How did you know?" he asked softly, tracing a finger along the wooden body of the instrument.

"Sam told me..." Castiel replied, clearly anxious, unable to read what Dean thought from his face.

"Ah, okay..." Dean was quiet for a moment, then chuckled. "I'd play you something as a thank you, but I'm rusty, so... Thank you, Cas."

Castiel's face brightened slightly. "You...you like it?"

Dean smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it's great. Especially with the Impala painted on it. It's really made for me."

Castiel smiled wide. "It was hard to paint without giving it away. I did it in Sam's room while you were working."

Dean put the guitar down carefully, then went over to give Castiel a kiss. "You're awesome. I love you," he murmured

Castiel smiled into the kiss. "I love you too," he murmured, setting his mug down and taking the larger, flatter box first.

It was Dean's turn to feel nervous. He'd gotten Castiel an easel that would fit on the table, and a palette to go with it, to make painting easier at home. The other gift was a jewelry box, which was dark blue and simple yet elegant, and inside it there was a simple silver necklace with a blue, round stone. It matched the ring Castiel wore.

Castiel opened the easel and palette, and he gave Dean a bright smile. He had been wanting one for home use for quite a while, and he gave Dean a kiss and a "Thank you." When he opened the second gift, he gasped, his eyes growing wide. "Dean...this...this is beautiful." he murmured, lifting it carefully from the box.

"I... I just saw it and couldn't help but think that it was like made for you," he murmured. "I'm glad you like it." Dean smiled softly.

Castiel returned the soft smile. "Put it on me?" he suggested softly, handing the necklace to Dean and turning around so Dean could loop the necklace over his head.

Dean opened the latch on the lock, and carefully put the necklace in place before closing it. Then he put his hands on Castiel's shoulders, and kissed the back of Castiel's neck.

Castiel smiled and turned to kiss Dean's lips. "Merry Christmas." he whispered.

"Merry Christmas," Dean replied, and kissed Castiel gently in return.

"I'm really glad you like the guitar...I was afraid you wouldn't." he murmured.

Dean smiled. "I will always love everything you give me. And a guitar is good... I now have something to do when I'm at home."

Castiel chuckled softly. "Sam told me you used to play all the time when you were younger."

"I did. A girl I used to know got me hooked, and I just... Loved playing, so I continued for a few years," Dean said.

Castiel nodded. "Give it a try," he encouraged.

Dean blushed and looked away awkwardly. "I don't know... I'm rusty. Won't sound good."

Castiel chuckled. "I'll show you my first sketchbook if you play a little." he compromised.

Dean scratched the back of his head, then nodded. "Fine," he murmured, and picked the guitar.

Castiel kissed his lips quickly before moving away, giving him room.

Dean cleared his throat and tested the strings. He adjusted one, tried it again. Shifting to get more comfortable, he then started to play "Hey There Delilah". A bit unsure and shakily at first, but it went smoother after a moment.

Castiel smiled at the music, closing his eyes to listen, mouthing along the words.

Dean continued to play while watching Castiel, and felt almost bad when he stopped playing.

Castiel smiled, opening his eyes. "That was beautiful." he murmured.

Dean lowered his head shyly. "Eh... It could've been better."

Castiel smiled softly. "I haven't touched a piano in eleven years, so I would be the same." he replied.

"But we can't fit a piano in here, so you don't have to play," Dean said, smiling.

Castiel chuckled. "Maybe one day, when we get a house, I'll pick it up again." he mused softly.

Dean smiled, and moved closer to kiss Castiel.

Castiel kissed him back. "I'm glad you like it..." he murmured. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Cas," Dean murmured, and wrapped an arm around Castiel.

Castiel kissed Dean's cheek. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Cas," Dean smiled warmly.

Castiel smiled. "I'm going to make breakfast, what would you like?"

"Mmh... Dunno. Egg and bacon?" Dean murmured.

"All right, I'm also making hash browns and pancakes." Castiel smiled.

Dean grinned. "Sounds awesome. A little buffet, just for us. Want me to help you with anything?"

"Can you get the hash browns started while I make the pancake batter?"

Dean nodded. "All right. I can do that," he mumbled, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek before putting the guitar back into it's case to protect it from the kittens.

Both kittens were currently very occupied with the wrapping paper from Dean's present. 

Dean rolled his eyes. "It's a good thing our kittens have a taste for cheap things..." he mumbled.

Castiel laughed. "We'll definitely have a mess to clean up later," he replied, heading to the kitchen to start making breakfast.

Dean lingered for a moment to just watch, then turned around and followed Castiel into the kitchen to help with the cooking


	29. Wedding Bells Ringing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**
> 
> It's time for a wedding! Castiel and Dean are both utterly nervous, but their wedding goes off without a hitch, and they celebrate their special day.

The next six months passed without much incident. The kittens were now full grown, Daenerys a little larger than Pirate was. Castiel finished another semester at school, and wedding planning had gone into full swing once he was out for the summer.

Almost too quickly, and it was June 26th. They had already arrived at the church (in separate cars, Castiel hadn't wanted Dean to see him until he was walking down the aisle) and Castiel was shaking, close to a panic attack. "What if he decides to call it off? What if he doesn't say I do, oh God..."

Charlie shushed him and rubbed his back. "You'll be fine, Cas. Seriously, Dean loves you more than anything. I bet you he's just as nervous." she was wearing a deep blue dress.

Bobby was with Castiel as well, and would be walking with him down the aisle. Castiel had hands down refused to let Chuck take that honor, although he had been persuaded to invite the man to their wedding. Though it was a little strange for Bobby to be walking him, Castiel had grown up watching wedding traditions, and wanted to keep some things the same despite the fact that he wasn't female.

Sam and Jo, meanwhile, were helping Dean get ready.

Dean personally thought that Castiel was putting him through torture. He was tight lipped and looked anything but happy when Sam and Jo helped him get ready under a slightly uncomfortable silence, adjusting his suit and tie and to make sure his hair wasn't ruined, but he was just so damned nervous and he wanted nothing more than to see Castiel right there and then. He wished they could've walked down the aisle together, but this was how Castiel wanted it, and he wasn't good at telling Castiel no. It was their day, and he hoped that everything would go according to what they had planned.

The people that were invited to their wedding were already sitting down in the church, waiting for the wedding to begin for real.

Sam clapped Dean on the shoulder."Everything'll be okay, Dean." he murmured. "You look wonderful, and it'll be worth it to see the look on Cas' face."

Jo chuckled, wearing a deep green dress, her blonde hair shiny and in ringlets. "Knock em dead, Winchester." she punched his shoulder playfully.

Dean whined at them. "Jeeze, had I know you two would be like this I would've gotten Ellen to be here," he mumbled. He looked at himself in the mirror, and hoped that he looked good enough for Castiel. There wasn't any doubt in his mind that Castiel would be the one to knock people's breath away. His hands were shaking when it was time for him to go out, and he was so nervous that he was pretty sure he looked like he'd seen a ghost when he walked up to take his position by the priest, only slightly relieved to have Sam stand right behind him.

Charlie was the first to walk down the aisle, followed by little Anna, one of Charlie's nieces as the flower girl. Then the music changed, and Bobby, looking stuffy in his old tux, emerged, Castiel by his side. His hair wasn't tamed, and he looked radiant in his tailored white tux, a blue rose on his lapel. He looked very nervous, on the verge of an attack, until his eyes found Dean.

When Dean saw Castiel walking down the aisle, he couldn't help but stare. It was like the plug was pulled, and all nervousness just seeped right out of him, and all he could see was Castiel.

Dorothy was sitting close to the aisle, filming and taking photos.

Castiel's eyes didn't leave Dean either, the anxiety just leaving him and his mind calm for the first time he could remember after being so close to an attack. When Bobby placed his hand into Dean's, he felt at home.

Dean swallowed softly as he held Castiel's hand in his own, and he gently squeezed his soon to be husband's hand, while looking into his blue eyes.

Castiel couldn't bring himself to look away from Dean's eyes, losing himself in the vivid green.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate this union between these two families..."

Castiel wasn't listening to the preacher's words, instead concentrating on Dean, and how soon, they would be married.

"Dean Winchester, do you have any words to say to Castiel Novak?" that was their prompt for their vows, which they had each written secretly.

Dean shifted nervously. He had never been good with words, and in that moment, he wished that he was.  
"Cas--" His voice almost broke, and he cleared his throat. "Castiel... I... You know that I'm not any good with words. I never have been. There have been times that I haven't even spoken at all, 'cause there were no words that could possibly describe what I felt. No words to describe the sorrow, the fear, the love, or anything. But today I... I wanted to try to use words, even if I'm no good." He took a deep breath. "Castiel. We've been through so much, since we got to know each other. I've told you before, but it still amazes me that we're still here, together. There's been so many bad things that has happened to us, moreso you than me, but we made it through. If it weren't for you... I wouldn't be the happy man that I am today. I would be lost. I would have stopped fighting, and I probably have wasted away by now, just like my father... But I'm here, because of you. Just like you are here, because of me. Castiel Novak, you are the only one for me. Without you, I wouldn't have anything and I would be absolutely nothing. You're my everything," he said.

Castiel bit his lips, his eyes shining with tears.

"And do you, Castiel Novak, have any words to say to Dean Winchester?"

Castiel swallowed. "Yes...Dean, I can't even imagine where I would be today without you. Despite everything that's happened, despite everything that I came to you with, you've loved me and helped me through it all. You hold me when I wake up from a nightmare, you help me take care of myself when I can't get out of bed, or when I can't take it and end up relapsing. I put you through so much, and yet you're still here." Castiel was crying now, a smile n his face as tears rolled down his cheeks. "I would be dead a thousand times over if you hadn't decided to sit with me that day at school. I promise you, Dean Winchester, in the presence of God, that I will love you, now and forever. That I will stay by your side until God decides it's time for us to go to his Kingdom, and I will see you there. Because you are my other half, and I don't know what I would do, or where I would be, if I didn't have you."

Dean tried hard not to let himself lose control, but his started to get glassy as he looked at Castiel, unable to see anyone but Castiel in that moment.

Castiel had eyes for no one but Dean, as he picked up their rings, which they had taken off to do this. They had voted against getting another set of rings, as it would be way too much money.

"With this ring, I pledge my life and my love to you, Dean Winchester." Castiel whispered, sliding the ring to it's home on Dean's hand.

It was the second time that Dean had taken his ring off, and it felt incredible to have it back on his finger again. He picked up Castiel's ring.

"Castiel Novak. As I give you this ring, I promise to love and care for you with all my heart, until the very end," Dean said softly, sliding the ring onto Castiel's finger.

Castiel smiled softly, and laced their fingers together on both hands.

"I now pronounce you, Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak, husband and husband. You may now kiss." The preacher told them.

Dean smiled, and slowly leaned forward to kiss Castiel on the lips, deeply yet gently, and barely aware that their family and friends had started to clap their hands in celebration.

Castiel kissed back just as tenderly, and when the kiss broke, his smile was brilliant, eyes sparkling with happiness.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present Misters Dean and Castiel Winchester." The preacher finished.

Dean let go of one of Castiel's hands, so that they could turn and show themselves to the others. Though he kept his eyes on Castiel. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you," Castiel replied, squeezing Dean's hand as they began to walk back down the aisle.

Dean smiled as he walked with Castiel, believing that everything bad they've been through was worth it, now that he was married to the greatest man he'd ever known.

When they reached the end of the aisle, Sam pulled both of them into a huge hug. "I'm so happy for you both." he murmured.

"Thank you Sam," Castiel whispered, realizing that now, he and Sam were brothers by law. He was officially a Winchester, officially had a family. He started to shake, tears running down his cheeks.

Dean let go of Castiel's hand to wrap his arms around both his now husband and Sam, holding them tight. "Yeah... Thank you Sam," he said, patting Sam on the back.

The others were gathering, speaking quietly and giving the newly weds some space, while waiting for their turn to speak with them.

Sam let go, and backed off to let others give their congratulations. Castiel wiped at his cheeks with his sleeve, trying to pull himself back together.

Dean kept one arm around Castiel as they went to speak with the others.

Ellen smiled widely as she went to the two with Bobby at her heels, and gave them both a hug. "I'm so happy for you, boys. You're both stunning."

"Thank you, Ellen." Castiel smiled, his eyes still watery.

"Never thought Dean would ever settle down til the moment I saw you two. Didn't matter that you weren't together then." Bobby said gruffly, patting both of their shoulders.

Dean chuckled softly. "Yeah... I never thought I'd ever settle down, either. Thank you both for coming, it really means a lot," he said.

"Course," Bobby replied. "Ellen and I got you a little something, but all your presents are at the reception place."

Charlie was waiting behind Ellen and Bobby, While Sam had Jess on his arm, all waiting to speak to the newlyweds.

Dean smiled, "Awesome."

Dorothy joined Charlie's side, just as Ellen and Bobby moved out of the way to. She grinned as she snapped a photo of the two.

Castiel smiled softly. "Thank you for doing our wedding pictures, Dorothy." he smiled.

Charlie grinned, giving both of them a hug. "You two are gorgeous, and I don't think I've ever seen you two so in love before today."

"Anything for a friend, Castiel," Dorothy replied, patting Castiel on the shoulder.

Dean grinned too. "Thanks, Charlie. And I had no clue that it was possible."

"Just wait until you see yourself. You're practically glowing," Dorothy added, giving Dean a pat on the shoulder too.

Castiel smiled and hugged them both, and Charlie took Dorothy's hand so they could head over to the reception hall before everyone else, to snap a few pictures of the setup.

Sam came forwards again, Jess' parents behind the younger couple.

Jess grinned as she let go of Sam to pull Dean and Castiel into a hug. "You two look amazing, I'm so happy for you!"

"Thank you, Jess. I'm really happy you could come here," Dean said, returning the hug.

Castiel returned the hug. "Thank you Jess, for everything." he murmured.

Jess' parents came forward after Jess had stepped aside, and they both smiled. "Thank you for inviting us, Dean, Castiel. It was a beautiful wedding, and we're honored to be here," Jess' mother said, and gave them both a hug. Even though they didn't know each other well, it was relaxed and their smiles and the words were genuine.

Castiel smiled. "I'm glad you could come," he smiled happily.

Chuck was waiting behind them, fidgeting slightly. Castiel couldn't help but tense up when he stepped forwards.

"I know I don't deserve to be here, but...thank you, for letting me see." he murmured.

Castiel gave him a stiff nod.

Dean reached out to shake Chuck's hand, knowing better than to say anything that could be considered rude. "Thank you for coming," he said, for the sake of being polite.

Chuck nodded, and shook Dean's hand in return. "Best of luck to you both," he murmured, before moving on.

Jo was right behind them, and she smiled. "It was so beautiful." 

Dean smiled at her. "Thank you, Jo. I'm happy you and the others could come."

Jo chuckled. "Who would have known, womanizing Dean Winchester settling down with a gorgeous man." 

Castiel's cheeks turned pink.

Dean grinned as he looked at Castiel, then back at Jo. "Yeah... But I wouldn't change it for anything."

Jo chuckled, hugging both of them and kissing their cheeks. "I know you wouldn't." she smiled.

Dean smiled and nodded. "Yeah," he murmured, and turned to Castiel once Jo left to join Ellen and Bobby. "Was that everyone?"

Castiel nodded, and kissed Dean again. "I love you," he whispered.

Dean returned the kiss, and hugged Castiel close. "I love you too... Castiel Winchester," he murmured, smiling widely.

Castiel smiled back just as widely. "Forever and always," he replied, kissing him again.

Dean chuckled softly. "Wouldn't want it any other way," he said.

Castiel smiled, and laced their fingers together. "We have a reception to get to," he grinned.

"We do," Dean said, also grinning, and kissed Castiel on the cheek before they walked to the car.

Castiel kissed his husband a few more times on the way to the car, sliding into the passenger seat of the Impala.

Dean got in the driver's seat, and let Castiel get properly settled before he started driving.

Castiel leaned against Dean, smiling happily.

Dean didn't say much, he just smiled while he drove to where the reception was being held.

Castiel got out of the car and immediately took Dean's hand again, not wanting to stop touching his new husband.

Dean smiled and laced their fingers together, and kissed him on the cheek before heading inside.

Castiel followed, looking around. He had only been here once, and couldn't really remember what it looked like. It was the ballroom in a nice hotel nearby, and it had been decorated with green and blue. There was a small catering company that one of Castiel's classmates worked for and had given them a discount, and there was plenty of wine and beer courtesy of Ellen. There was also a small, beautiful cake and pie for Dean.

Dean grinned as they got inside, and Dorothy was quick to snap a photo of them when they came into view. She had previously been taking photos of the decorations, food and desserts, and everything else.

The entire room started applauding. Kevin grinned from his place up as their DJ. "All right guys! Kevin Solo is here, and the newlyweds are in! Let's get this party started!"

Dean chuckled, and looked at Castiel. "Someone's excited to be a DJ," he murmured to Castiel as the music started playing.

"He's doing it for free, so I can't complain." Castiel chuckled, squeezing Dean's hand. "After a few songs will be our first dance, and it's "Hey Jude." he murmured."

Dean smiled. "Yeah... I can't wait. It'll be our first dance as husbands."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's lips. "I suppose we should socialize." he murmured, making a face at that.

Dean laughed softly. "We should. But after the reception, you're all mine," he said, kissing Castiel's ear.

Castiel smiled. "For a week and a half, I'm all yours." he smiled. They already had reservations for a hotel room on the beach, and had both gotten the time off of work.

Dean grinned and nodded. "Yeah, that's true." He looked away from Castiel for a moment, to watch their family and friends. "... I like this. Everyone together..."

"I like it too," Castiel murmured. "I like having such a large family. I never really had one before all of you..."

"I know, I know..." Dean whispered, holding Castiel close and watching the others.

Jo came over, laughing. "Cmere you two, don't just stand there! This is your party after all!" she grabbed Castiel's hand and pulled him onto the dance floor.

Dean laughed softly and shook his head, then went to look up Charlie to see if she wanted to dance with him.

Charlie grinned when Dean approached her. "Sure thing!" she took his hand and followed him onto the floor, where Castiel was dancing smoothly with Jo.

Dean smiled as he started to dance with Charlie, but kept an eye on Jo and Castiel at the same time.

Jo was murmuring things to Castiel, at one point the two of them laughing so hard that they had to stop dancing.

Dean smiled at that, happy to see that his husband and his friend were on good terms, and he turned his full attention to Charlie.

Charlie chuckled. "You know, if I wasn't taken, I may be flirting with Blondie over there. She's gorgeous."

"She really is," Dean agreed. "And her name's Jo, in case you hadn't heard." He grinned.

Charlie chuckled. "I know, but Blondie is such a better nickname, eh Handmaiden?" she teased.

Dean huffed softly and rolled his eyes. "You and your nicknames, I swear..."

"You're talking to the Queen," she teased. "Best stop your treasonous words." Charlie had dragged Dean and Castiel to a LARP one weekend, and now they tended to go every weekend when work allowed.

"Yes, my Queen, but we're outside of your Kingdom's walls and you're currently nothing but a mere guest ," Dean said in a snobbish way, obviously joking.

Charlie stuck her tongue out. "Regardless, you remain my handmaiden." she chuckled, spinning in Dean's arms.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Yes yes, whatever you say." He smiled, and pulled her close. "I think your girlfriend is staring at us. I think she wants a dance with you."

Charlie chuckled. "You should find your husband, then." she gave him a hug before going to ask Dorothy for a dance.

Dean smiled as he watched Charlie and Dorothy start dancing, then went off to find Castiel

Castiel was sitting with Ellen and Bobby and Jo at a table, laughing so hard he was crying. They were laughing hard as well.

"And then that Idjit decided it would be all right to climb underneath the Impala to try to get the legos out, and got his hand stuck in the transmission," Bobby chuckled.

Ellen could barely breathe, she was laughing so hard, and barely noticed Dean coming over.

"Having a good time, I see," Dean said as he reached the table.

Jo was crying as well. "Bobby was telling us about how to tried to get your legos out of the Impala..." she gasped out, Castiel beyond words.

"... Ah," was Dean's only reply, and he offered a smile even though he didn't find it very funny.

Castiel took deep breaths trying to calm down, and reached for Dean's hands, pulling him closer.

Dean remained standing up, but did move closer to Castiel. He didn't bother saying anything, as the others still hadn't gotten their breath back just yet.

The music died down for a moment, and Kevin's voice came over the speakers. "Can we clear the dance floor, it is time for the newlywed's first dance!"

Dean took Castiel's hands in his own and helped him up to his feet, then walked with him over to the dance floor.

Castiel slid into Dean's arms, and started to rock slowly in Dean's arms as Hey Jude started to play. "Hey Jude, don't make it bad, take a sad song and make it better..." Castiel sang along softly.

Dean smiled softly as they danced together, loving the feeling of having Castiel in his arms.

Castiel looked at Dean with love and adoration on his face, leaning in to kiss him sweetly as they danced.

Dean returned the kiss gently, and pressed a hand flat against Castiel's back to pull him close.

Castiel gladly moved closer. "I love you, Dean." he whispered. "More than anything."

"I love you too, Castiel," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel again.

Castiel kissed back, and continued to dance with Dean, never wanting the moment to end. 

Dean continued to dance and kiss Castiel until throughout the song, only stopping when the song had ended.

Everyone applauded once the song had ended, and Sam pulled Jess out onto the dance floor next to the other couple.

Jess giggled happily as she went with Sam.

Dean smiled and pulled Castiel into a deep kiss.

Castiel returned the kiss happily.

Charlie chuckled. "Hey Dean!" she called out. "Who's wearing the garter?"

"... Are you serious right now?" Dean called back.

Jo wolf whistled, and the two of them burst into giggles.

Dean rolled his eyes and grumbled. "Girls..."

Castiel chuckled. "They're just playing around." he murmured, before whispering into Dean's ear. "I may or may not be wearing one..."

Dean blinked, then smiled. "You're just going full out on being my bride, aren't you?" he murmured, and nuzzled his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel smiled softly. "Do you like it?" he asked softly.

"I like it 'cause it's made you happy," Dean murmured.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's temple. "You can pull of my garter tonight in private, although I still expect you to use your teeth." he smirked.

Dean chuckled softly, and grinned. "All right, hot stuff, whatever you say."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again. "Up for another dance?" he murmured.

"Sure." Dean grinned wider, and kissed Castiel in return. "Let's dance until we get too tired. Then let's eat and drink."

"Sounds good to me," Castiel smiled, switching their hands so he was leading the dance this time.

Dean let Castiel take the lead without any complaint, and smiled softly as they danced.

They danced for a while, together and with others, but always ending up back in each other's arms.

Eventually Dean murmured that he'd danced enough, and pulled Castiel aside to get something to drink.

Castiel smiled, and with Dean watching, took a glass of wine.

Dean took a glass of wine himself, thinking that he could have some beer later. He kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled, and clinked their glasses together gently. "To a long and happy life." he murmured.

"To a long and happy life, together," Dean said softly, and kissed Castiel on the lips before taking a sip of the wine.

Castiel sipped his own wine, giving Dean a happy smile. "Let's get some food, I'm feeling hungry.

"All right, honey." Dean smiled and carefully took Castiel's glass to put both their glasses aside, so they could go get some food.

Castiel smiled, and took a plate, loading up on the different foods.

Dean did the same, and then went to sit down with Castiel at a table.

Sam came over after a few minutes, a plate of food in his hand. "This has been really fun," he grinned, sitting across from the couple.

Dean grinned at Sam and nodded. "Yeah, it has. And I'm hoping it'll be just as fun when it's your turn."

Sam stuck his tongue out. "I'm only 16, Dean. It's still another two years before I can legally get married"

Dean rolled his eyes. "Still," he said, and sipped his wine.

Sam chuckled, and sipped his soda. "Jess and I will make sure that Pirate and Dany get plenty of attention while you two are honeymooning."

"Good. And no sex outside of your bedroom," Dean said, just as Jess came over with a plate of food of her own.

"Hey guys," she greeted, and sat down beside Sam.

"Hello," Castiel gave her a smile.

"Of course not," Sam retorted. "We aren't you and Cas."

Dean huffed. "Hey, we've kept our promise to keep it in the bedroom."

Jess looked at the brothers. "What are you arguing about this time?"

Castiel shook his head. "Don't ask." he advised her.

Jess looked at him, and shrugged. "All right."

Sam just huffed and rolled his eyes, putting an arm over Jess' shoulders.

Castiel chuckled, and sipped his wine.

Dean stole a piece of food from Castiel's plate when he was busy with the wine.

Jess giggled and leaned against Sam.

"Hey!" Castiel retaliated with stealing a piece of food from Dean's plate.

Dean snorted softly and snickered, and put his hand on Castiel's thigh.

Castiel smirked and stole a kiss.

Dean lifted his hand and placed it on the back of Castiel's neck instead, and pulled him into a deep kiss.

Castiel let out a surprised noise, before he relaxed into it.

"Guys, you aren't honeymooning yet." Sam gagged dramatically,

Dean just hummed and waved his free hand at Sam.

Jess giggled and shook her head, then blinked at the click of a camera, and saw Dorothy sneaking off with a grin on her face.

Sam just rolled his eyes and chuckled.

Castiel broke the kiss when he needed to breathe, smiling. "What was that for?" he asked breathlessly.

"Just felt like it," Dean replied with a big grin on his face.

Castiel chuckled and kissed him again.

Charlie came over after ten minutes. "Come on guys, it's time for the traditional food fight!"

"Food fight?" Castiel asked, his head tilting quizzically.

Dean looked just as puzzled. "Uh. Are we talking about... A _real_ food fight...? 'cause Cas is wearing white and I don't think that's a good idea."

Charlie chuckled. "Cutting the cake, silly! You both feed each other a slice."

Dean heaved a sigh of relief, and stood up. "Why didn't you just say so? C'mon Cas, let's cut the cake."

Sam chuckled. "Because 99% of the times, couples just shove it into each others mouths." he explained.

Castiel stood as well, lacing their fingers together.

Dean wrinkled his nose, and walked with Castiel over to where the cake was standing. "Why ruin perfectly good, edible desserts like that?" he mumbled.

"I do not know," Castiel replied, as Bobby handed then a knife, that he and Dean grasped together.

"Okay, here goes..." Dean murmured, as they carefully cut the first slice of cake, together.

Everyone clapped and smiled. Castiel took a piece of the first slice and offered it to Dean's lips.

Dean parted his lips and accepted the cake with a smile, then he cut off a piece from the slice, and offered it to Castiel.

Castiel took the piece,his tongue licking over the pads of Dean's fingers to get some frosting as he pulled away.

Dean grinned widely, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed him back, and then Bobby took the knife back to begin cutting pieces for the rest of the guests. There was also a pie there, since Dean had insisted that pie be offered.

Dean cut a slice of pie for himself, and took a bite of it. "Mmh, this is awesome... Want a bite?" he asked, offering Castiel a piece.

Castiel smiled and took the piece. "Thank you," he grinned.

After everyone had finished enjoying the cake and pie, Jo came up to them with two garters in hand. "Here you two, since there isn't a bouquet toss, put these on the outside of your pants, you're going to take them off each other and toss them into the crowd. Whoever catches them are the next to be married."

Dean stared at his friend as if she was crazy, then looked at Castiel. "... Are you okay with this?" he asked.

Castiel looked bewildered as well. "I...may have made a mistake letting Charlie and Jo plan the reception. I figured they would know wedding traditions better than us.."

"Which we do," Charlie piped up. "And we're making do with the fact that you both have penises."

"... I thought Ellen and Bobby were.... Okay. Let's not dwell on that, and let's just... Are you two sure those garters are even going to fit?" Dean asked, looking at the girls sceptically.

"It's just a game, but it's tradition. Happens at every single wedding," Jo replied.

"And yes, they'll fit. They have elastic and stretch," Charlie replied. "I also know both of your measurements from LARPing, so don't try me."

Dean cursed under his breath. "This is gonna look ridiculous, but fine... Let's do it."

Both Jo and Charlie had identical grins on their faces, and Jo gave Dean the blue garter and Castiel the green. "Finish eating, put these on, and then head for the dance floor, we'll set up a chair."

Dean huffed. "I guess we need some embarrassing photos to the collection," he mumbled, and comforted himself with another piece of pie.

"I could put it underneath my pants if you'd prefer...?" Castiel offered.

Dean shook his head. "Nah... I wanna save the under the clothes action until later," he grinned.

Castiel blushed slightly, before leaning forwards to whisper "I didn't pack any condoms...we won't need them."

Dean almost dropped his fork. Of course he already knew about the no condoms thing, but still. "... You're right. We won't," he mumbled, cheeks pink.

Castiel kissed his cheek, smiling cheekily before he finished his pie.

Dean mumbled and finished eating, then awkwardly went about pulling the garter onto his leg.

Castiel saw that Dean barely had it on his thigh, and reached over to pull it up higher, his own almost up to his crotch.

Dean's cheeks turned a darker color, but just huffed at Castiel.

Castiel kissed him sweetly, lacing their fingers together before standing up. Charlie dragged a chair out onto the floor, which Castiel sat in an extended his leg as everyone gathered around to watch.

Dean knelt down in front of Castiel, and looked a bit unsure. "... Can I use my hands or do I have to...?"

"Cmon, don't be a spoilsport." Jo pouted. "Use your teeth like a man!"

Dean looked up at his husband with an apologetic look, as he put his hands behind his back and leaned closer, awfully aware of how close he was to Castiel's crotch. He grabbed the garter between his teeth and then slowly pulled it down Castiel's leg.

Castiel's cheeks flared bright red, and he could hear the clicking of Dorothy's camera. He shifted slightly, feeling the beginning of an erection.

Dean pulled the garter off completely, then winked and flashed Castiel a grin with the garter hanging between his teeth.

Castiel prayed that Dorothy got a shot of Dean's face, because his husband looked ravishing in that moment. He shifted again, trying to hide the growing lump in his pants.

Dean dropped the garter into his hands, and got up to his feet. "One off, one to go," he said, looking down at Castiel.

"Gotta throw it first Dean!" Charlie called out as Castiel stood.

"Oh, uh... I just... Throw it?" Dean raised a brow, and awkwardly turned around, then threw the garter over his shoulder and hoped that someone would catch it.

Sam let out a shocked noise as the garter ended up in his hands.

Castiel chuckled, and moved so Dean could sit down.

Jess looked amused and slightly delighted.

"Have fun with that, knowing where it has been," Dean laughed, and sat down on the chair.

Sam just pulled a face, while almost everyone laughed.

Castiel sunk to his knees, and rather than putting his hands behind his back, ran them up Dean's leg sensually, before taking the garter into his teeth and slowly pulling it down, his eyes locked on Dean's.

Dean wondered if it really was a good idea to have let Dorothy take the pictures, since he could her almost constant clicking. His cheeks were red as he stared at Castiel, trying hard not to squirm on the seat.

Castiel smirked, and pulled the garter down, his hands trailing behind it down Dean's leg until it was off.

"You're evil," Dean whispered, and pressed his legs tightly together when the garter was finally off.

Castiel just grinned, dropping the garter from his teeth into his hands before throwing it over his shoulder. 

Dorothy caught the garter with one hand, and looked a bit surprised. "Huh. Look at that."

Charlie started laughing hysterically, and Sam had a stricken look on his face.

"Well this is quite awkward," Dorothy admitted.

Jess giggled uncontrollably, and had to cover her mouth with her hands.

Castiel laughed as well.

Sam looked at Dorothy. "Um...I hope you don't mind, but I'm quite happy with my girlfriend."

"No offense, but you're really not my type," Dorothy said, and looked at Charlie. "You want this back?"

Dean grinned as he stood up, and pulled Castiel close.

"We'll save it for the newlyweds when they get back," Charlie chuckled.

Sam sighed in relief and wrapped his arms around Jess.

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's cheek.

Dorothy shrugged, and took another photo.  
Jess giggled and hugged Sam in return.  
Dean smiled, and turned his head to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back happily. "Want to dance a little more?" he suggested softly.

"Sure, tiger," Dean murmured, and gently patted Castiel's ass.

Castiel jumped slightly, before laughing and turning in Dean's arms to face him, starting to move to the music that had started up again.

Dean grinned and kissed Castiel's cheek as they started dancing, for a moment forgetting about the others.

They danced for a while, until Castiel murmured into Dean's ear. "Shall we head to the hotel?"

Dean licked his lips and nodded. "Sounds good to me..."

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's lips softly before letting go to let some people know that they were leaving.

Dean went to give Sam a big hug and tell him to be careful while they were gone, then waited for Castiel to join him so they could leave.

Castiel joined Dean a few moments later as they were followed out to the car, Charlie passing out rice that was thrown at them as the went.

Dean laughed softly even as he bitched about rice in his hair, and he held Castiel's hand in his own.

Castiel laughed as well as he got into the passenger's seat of the Impala, waiting for Dean to get in.

Dean got into the driver's seat, and moved close to kiss Castiel, before starting the car.

Castiel smiled. "We're married. We're actually married." he grinned.

Dean smiled widely and nodded as he started driving. "We are."

Castiel smiled widely as he leaned against Dean, his hand on Dean's thigh.

"You're gonna be signing everything as Castiel Winchester now..." Dean grinned.

Castiel grinned. "I know...it's exciting."

Dean reached down to pat Castiel on the thigh.

Castiel was content to just lean against Dean as they drove to the hotel.

When they reached the hotel, Dean was the first to get out, and he walked to the other side to open the car door for Castiel.

Castiel got out as well, and he leaned up for a kiss. "I'll check us in, if you can grab our bags?" he whispered.

Dean nodded, and kissed Castiel on the lips. "All right. Sounds good. Go ahead inside, I'll meet you there."

Castiel smiled, and went inside to check them in, coming back to Dean with two keycards, handing Dean one. "Room 435."

Dean put the card in his pocket, and picked the bags up from the floor, "All right. Let's go check it out."

Castiel insisted that he take at least one bag, and they went up to the room. Castiel let them in, revealing a white and blue room. There was a single, plush king sized bed, a small sitting area and kitchen, and a balcony that gave them a view of the ocean. The bathroom had a huge, Jacuzzi style tub.

Dean gave a low whistle as he looked into the bathroom, and grinned as he looked at Castiel. "Best hotel, ever."

Castiel laughed, and set their bags down on the floor by the couch. He turned to face Dean, and looked at him, his pupils already dilating with lust.

Dean was still grinning as he went back over to his husband, and gently grabbed Castiel's face to pull him into a deep kiss.

Castiel kissed back, wrapping his arms around Dean's neck, pressing their bodies together.

Dean nipped and sucked on Castiel's bottom lip, and moved his hands to grab Castiel's hips.

Castiel let out a soft moan, kissing Dean back and slowly rocking their hips together.

Dean groaned into the kiss and reached behind Castiel to squeeze his ass.

Castiel moaned, and when the kiss broke he murmured "Bed.bed. Bed bed..."

"Okay, okay," Dean breathed out. He lifted Castiel up and walked over to the bed, and carefully put Castiel down on top of it. "Stay here, I'm gonna fetch the lube..."

"Front pocket of my bag," Castiel breathed back, undoing his tie slightly.

Dean let go off Castiel so he could go fetch the lube, and put it to the side as he got back to the bed.

Castiel pulled Dean back down on top of him, kissing him passionately.

Dean kissed back, and ran his hand along Castiel's side.

Castiel hummed into the kiss, breaking it in order to undo Dean's tie. "You look gorgeous with this on, but I'd rather see it off..." he murmured.

Dean chuckled softly, and steadied himself so he could open Castiel's tux jacket and untuck his shirt from his pants.

Castiel looked up at his husband with loving eyes. "I love you, Dean Winchester."

Dean smiled warmly, and leaned down to kiss Castiel gently on the lips. "I love you too, Castiel Winchester."

Castiel smiled and kissed back, opening Dean's tux jacket as they did so.

Dean removed Castiel's tie, and started unbuttoning Castiel's shirt, being careful not to tear any buttons off.

Castiel paused in undressing Dean to shrug out of his jacket and shirt, before helping Dean out of his own, his lips following his fingers as he undid the buttons.

Dean shuddered at the feeling of Castiel's lips against his skin, and pulled the jacket and shirt off.

Castiel inhaled deeply. "Beautiful." he murmured, his fingers running over his husband's side.

"Not more beautiful then you," Dean murmured, and lowered himself to press their hips together.

Castiel gasped and rolled his hips against Dean's.

Dean moaned, and dipped his head to kiss and nip at Castiel's neck.

Castiel shuddered, holding on to Dean's shoulders and rutting against him. His hands moved down to unbuckle Dean's belt, pulling it free before undoing the button and zipper.

Dean sucked a mark on Castiel's neck, before he pulled his pants off, then helped Castiel unbuckled his belt and undo the button and zipper on his white pants.

Castiel gasped and moaned, his erection straining against his boxers as Dean removed his pants.

Dean kissed Castiel's collarbone and started palming Castiel's erection through the boxers.

Castiel whimpered and moaned, arcing into the touch. "Dean...Dean..." he moaned the others name.

"I love it when you say my name like that..." Dean murmured, and grabbed Castiel's boxers to pull them off.

Castiel lifted his hips before settling down into the bed, his erection aching and red, precome already smearing and pooling on his belly.

Dean removed his own underwear, and looked down at his husband, licking his lips. "You're so gorgeous..."

Castiel flushed slightly, looking up at Dean before pulling down Dean's boxers.

Dean let out a sigh of relief as his erection was freed. He tossed his boxers to the side, and leaned down to kiss his husband.

Castiel's hand found Dean's erection, and stroked it firmly as they kissed.

Dean groaned into the kiss and bucked into Castiel's hand.

Castiel let go after a little while and handed Dean the lube. "Please...need you, need you inside..." he begged softly.

"I'll take care of you, don't worry," Dean murmured and opened the cap on the bottle, and poured some lube into his hand. Then he kissed Castiel again.

Castiel kissed back like a starving man at a banquet. He spread his legs easily, giving Dean access to his entrance. Thanks to their healthy sex life, he wasn't very tight and would only need a little prepping.

Dean reached between Castiel's cheeks and rubbed over his entrance, before easily slipping one finger inside. Not long after, he pushed in a second finger, and started to gently thrust his fingers in and out of Castiel.

Castiel moaned loudly, rocking his hips into the fingers, gasping out Dean's name.

Dean's cock twtiched at the sounds Castiel was making, and he started sucking another mark on Castiel's neck.

Castiel keened softly, and spasmed when Dean found his prostate.

Dean kissed his way up to Castiel's lips, and kissed him deeply.

Castiel returned the kiss, arcing into Dean's fingers.

Dean continued to finger Castiel until it felt like he was ready, and he put a hand on Castiel's hip as he withdrew his fingers.

Castiel let out a soft keening noise and spread his legs wider, swallowing hard. This would be the first time they had sex without a condom. "I want you to finish in me," he whispered, before they got too lost and too far into the sensation.

"Yeah, I know," Dean murmured, and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Castiel's mouth. "I love you, Cas," he whispered, grabbing the lube again. He poured some in his hand, then rubbed it over his erection, slicking it up properly.

"I love you too, Dean." Castiel whispered, his body shivering in anticipation.

Dean shifted a bit as he positioned the tip of his erection by Castiel's entrance, and he looked down at his husband. "Ready...?"

Castiel nodded, locking his eyes on Dean's. "Yes." he whispered.

Dean looked into Castiel's eyes, and bit his lip as he started to push inside.

Castiel groaned softly. He could feel a slight difference, though there wasn't much. He shuddered, his hands digging into the blankets.

Dean also shuddered, feeling so much more sensitive than usual. He pressed his forehead against Castiel's, and let out a shaky moan as he bottomed out. "Oh fuck..."

Castiel was breathing hard. "Dean...feel so good." he whispered, clenching slightly around his husband.

Dean reached to grab one of Castiel's hands. He groaned softly, eyes closing. "Feels amazing," he murmured.

Castiel held onto Dean's hand. "Yeah..." he whispered, shuddering as he felt Dean throbbing inside of him.

Dean licked his lips and shifted a bit, then pulled out a bit before pushing right back in with a moan, then continued to move in and out of Castiel with shallow thrusts.

Castiel cried out, his erection twitching and dripping precome. He was so sensitive, and he shuddered again.

"Fuck... Cas... You feel amazing," Dean panted softly, and gently squeezed Castiel's hand.

Castiel shuddered, breathing hard and squeezing back. "Faster, please..." he whispered.

Dean swallowed. "Okay," he replied softly, and started thrusting faster.

Castiel cried out, and spasmed, clenching down on Dean's cock as Dean thrust into his prostate.

Dean let out a loud moan, and he grasped the sheets tightly with his free hand. "Cas... Cas... Fuck-"

"Dean...Dean..." Castiel whimpered his name, rocking his hips back into the thrusts.

Dean thrust a bit harder, already starting to feel the pressure build up.

Castiel cried out. "So close...fuck, Dean..." he whimpered.

"Me too, Cas... Me too," Dean breathed out.

Castiel shuddered, and started to tense, clenching hard around Dean as he reached the brink.

Dean kissed Castiel through the last thrusts. His own body tensed up and he pressed his hips flush against Castiel as he came inside of his husband with a soft cry.

Castiel shuddered hard as he felt Dean spilling into him, coming over their stomachs. He slumped into the bed when he finished, panting hard and enjoying the sensation of being filled.

Dean pressed his face into Castiel's sweat damp neck, breathing heavily. "... I don't wanna pull out," he admitted quietly after a few moments.

Castiel ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "Then don't," he whispered softly, content to just lay there. "I don't think we'll ever use condoms again..."

Dean laughed softly. "I think condoms will be good in case we're having sex but have to go out later... But yeah. No condoms, preferably," he murmured, resting on top of Castiel.

Castiel hummed. "I can feel it...your come." he murmured. "Feels good right now, probably won't later." he chuckled softly.

"Mmh... We'll just have to see, 'cause I got no clue," Dean said, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's neck.

Castiel chuckled softly, running his fingers lightly over Dean's back. "We've consummated our marriage. You're stuck with me," he teased softly.

"Eh. Being stuck with you seems pretty awesome, to be honest," Dean chuckled, and smiled softly.

Castiel laughed softly. "I love you," he murmured, kissing Dean's temple. "And this is only the first round of many."

Dean grinned, and reached up to pet Castiel's hair. "The rest of our honeymoon's going to be great, too."

Castiel smiled. "What do you say to a midnight swim?" he suggested softly.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, that sounds great. Just you and I."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's forehead. "Not now of course, but whenever we decide to get up."

"Yeah. We have more than a week to do it," Dean said, smiling.

Castiel smiled. "So...what fantasies have you been saving for our honeymoon?" he asked, nipping gently at Dean's ear.

"Mmh... I might have a piece of lingerie or two in my bag," Dean admitted.

Castiel blushed at the mention. "What...kind?" he asked slowly.

Dean kissed his way up to Castiel's ear. "Panties, and I may have... Bought thigh highs," he whispered, reaching down to touch Castiel's thighs.

Castiel blushed. "If they have heels, I am not wearing them." he chuckled, running his hand over Dean's back. "As for the panties...I'll wear them." he whispered.

"I'm talking stockings, not shoes," Dean murmured. "They weren't expensive, so if you don't like them... We can just throw them away."

Castiel nodded. "All right." he whispered, kissing Dean's cheek. "Anything else you were thinking of?"

"Aside from at least trying to have sex on every available surface in here?" Dean chuckled. "Don't have anything else I can think of right now..."

Castiel laughed at that. "I have a few things in mind." he murmured.

"Wanna tell me about them?" Dean asked.

Castiel smiled softly. "I want to try a roleplay." he murmured. "Client/prostitute. You would be able to treat me as roughly as you wanted to, make me feel used, but in a good way."

"Oooh, that's kinky," Dean mumbled, and kissed Castiel's cheek. "We can try that."

Castiel blushed. "I wanted us to split up for a while, maybe meet up at a bar, and go the whole 9 yards." he murmured.

Dean tensed a little at that. "... Only if you're really sure about it..."

Castiel felt Dean tense up. "If you don't want to do that, then we don't have to," he murmured softly. "I only want to do what you're comfortable with."

"It'd be okay if we weren't apart for too long, and we do it close to the hotel, and not around a place where... There could be creeps coming around to hit on you," Dean mumbled.

Castiel nodded. "Of course," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean's temple again. "There's a nice bar a block away, we could do it there."

"Yeah. Okay." Dean nodded, and pressed his face into Castiel's neck again.

Castiel held Dean close, shifting slightly, feeling Dean's now soft cock slip out.

Dean then moved so that he was laying on his side beside Castiel. He kissed his husband's cheek.

Castiel smiled, and shifted slightly, making a slight face as he felt some come leak out. "I may need a shower soon." he murmured.

Dean chuckled softly. "Is it getting a bit messy down there?" he asked, and put a hand on Castiel's belly.

"Yes it is." Castiel murmured, shifting a little more as he felt some more leak out.

Dean pressed another kiss to Castiel's cheek. "Wanna shower now or later?"

"Now would be preferable." he murmured. "Can I have my boxers, so I don't leak come all over the room?"

"All right," Dean mumbled, and moved to sit up. He stretched a little, before he picked up Castiel's boxers and handed them over.

Castiel pulled them on before standing, shifting awkwardly. "We are keeping a towel underneath the bed from now on," he murmured, walking awkwardly to the bathroom.

Dean tried to stifle his laughter by pressing a hand to his mouth. "Okay, honey. Whatever you say," he said, grinning.

Castiel stuck his tongue out, and closed the bathroom door behind him, the shower starting to run.

Dean smiled as he watched the bathroom door, then pulled on his own boxers and went over to the balcony to look outside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Our other fic, Life's a Bitch, has officially ended and we announced the next fic that we will be posting. Starting next Tuesday, and following the Tuesday/Friday posting days, we will begin posting Watching Over You, a Blind!Castiel verse. This is our shortest verse to date, and we will be keeping the poll open so you can continue casting votes for the next story after that :)
> 
> We hope you enjoyed this chapter, and that you'll check out our next fanfic!
> 
> ~Cinder


	30. White as Moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Summary/Spoilers**
> 
> After Castiel takes a quick shower, he and Dean decide to go for a midnight swim. They had a great time in the water together, just sharing happy moments before Castiel returns to the room to wear Dean's surprise.
> 
>  **KINKS**  
>  Panty kink, stocking kink, sub/Dom undertones

Castiel showered and cleaned himself out, before he grabbed a fluffy towel and dried off. Wrapping the towel around his hips, he walked outside to join Dean, wrapping his arms around his husband's waist.

Dean smiled, and turned his head to give Castiel a kiss. "How was the shower?"

"It was good. I feel much cleaner." he chuckled, kissing back.

Dean grinned. "That's good," he murmured.

Castiel hummed softly. "Want to go for a swim?" he suggested. It was pretty late, but the moon was shining.

"Oh, oh! Yeah, let's go for a swim, " Dean said, clearly excited about taking a swim, and moved out of Castiel's arms to go rummage through his bag and pull out some clothes.

Castiel chuckled, and pulled on a pair of black swim trunks before putting on a shirt to wear down until they were actually on the beach.

Dean pulled on his own swim trunks after taking off his boxers. "It's a good thing a lot of people aren't out this late... It's the first time in years I won't be wearing jeans..."

Castiel shifted. "I know...it'll be the first time I'll be shirtless in public in years." he murmured.

"Yeah..." Dean pulled on a t-shirt. "But it's dark and we'll surely be alone."

Castiel nodded, tugging down his trunks a little to hide some scars on his thighs, giving Dean his hand.

Dean laced their fingers together and grabbed his card so they could get back into the room, then headed out together with Castiel.

Castiel held Dean's hand tightly, so nervous that they were going to run into someone on their way down to the beach.

There was no one in the hallway, though there were a few people outside, but they were too far away to really see anything. Dean gave Castiel a reassuring smile.

Castiel relaxed once they were outside on the beach, loving the feeling of the sand between his toes. He took a deep breath before removing his shirt, the moonlight bleaching his skin even paler, and his scars standing out drastically.

Dean just smiled as he looked at Castiel, then took off his own shirt and wrapped the key card to the hotel room in it. He put the shirt down on the sand, and ran down to the water without any warning whatsoever, the water splashing around his legs. When he reached knee level, he stopped, and turned to grin at Castiel.

Castiel laughed at the sight, and made his way down to the water a bit more cautiously, wading deeper until he was by Dean's side.

Dean reached out and took both of Castiel's hands into his own, and slowly walked backwards while pulling Castiel along. He only stopped when the water reached up to their waists.

Castiel chuckled, lacing their fingers together and leaning in for a kiss.

Dean happily met Castiel half way and kissed him on the lips. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Castiel murmured, before smiling wickedly and jumping into Dean's arms, knocking them both into the water.

Dean held his arms tightly around Castiel, and spluttered as he got his head above water again. "You bitch!" he yelled, but laughed immediately afterwards.

Castiel laughed, water dripping down his face.

Dean couldn't stop laughing, and after a few deep breaths while he tried to kiss Castiel, it just got weird and it made him laugh harder.

Castiel was laughing as well, his arms still wrapped around Dean and their bodies pressed close.

Dean eventually calmed down enough so he could at least breathe, and he hugged Castiel close.

Castiel smiled, and buried his head into Dean's shoulder, loving the contrast of the cool water to the warmth of Dean's arms.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head, and decided to wander a little, walking a short distance and then walking back. It was slow, but felt relaxing.

Castiel walked along with Dean, happy and content. Eventually, he let go of Dean to swim out a little farther.

Dean smiled, and decided to just float around for a bit and watch Castiel.

Castiel swam for a little while before heading back to Dean, splashing some water at his husband with a grin.

"Hey!" Dean huffed, and splashed some water right back at Castiel.

Castiel laughed hard, and splashed some more water before going underneath.

Dean blinked and looked around, but it was too dark to see anything.

Castiel surfaced behind Dean and tickled his sides.

Dean squeaked and flailed, and tried not to laugh. "Cas," he managed to hiss before bursting into laughter.

Castiel laughed and kissed the back of Dean's neck.

"You're such a meanie," Dean complained.

"I love you too," Castiel chuckled, his hands on Dean's hips.

Dean just huffed softly, but remained still and closed his eyes.

Castiel kissed along his neck. "You're beautiful." he murmured softly.

"Already trying to charm your way into my pants again, are we?" Dean joked.

Castiel chuckled. "I do believe I just have to ask, and I'm in." he purred softly.

Dean laughed softly, cheeks turning pink. "Yeah... That is true."

Castiel laughed, and kissed Dean's neck again. "I think I can go one more round before I have to sleep...sound good?"

Dean grinned and nodded quickly, eagerly. "Yeah, that sounds awesome."

Castiel smiled. "I'm going to go up to the room," he murmured into Dean's ear. "Wait here for ten minutes, and then come up. The door will be unlocked."

Dean licked his lips and nodded again, even more eager. "All right. I'll see you in a bit, then," he murmured.

Castiel kissed the back of his neck before pulling away, heading to their shirts and pulling his own on, taking their room card from Dean's shirt and heading up.

Dean went closer to dry land, not really wanting to risk ending up too far out while on his own. He waited for what he believed to be ten minutes, then got out of the water, pulled his t-shirt on, and headed back to their room.

The door was unlocked as promised, and the door to the bedroom was shut, although the lights were on.

Dean looked around with a raised brow after he locked the door. "Cas...?"

"I'm waiting," Castiel replied through the closed door. He was laying on the bed, shirtless, and wearing the thigh high stockings and lacy panties Dean had packed.

Dean opened the closed bedroom door, and as he saw Castiel, he let out a surprised noise and he felt his face become warm.

Castiel blushed, and shifted, immediately self conscious. "You...do you like it?" he asked, voice soft and nervous.

"... Dude, you look amazing," Dean said, and quickly pulled off his clothes. He tossed the swim trunks into the bathroom, then went over to the bed to get a closer look. "Oh man," he whispered, his cock already filling out, growing hard.

Castiel licked his lips at the sight, and stretched out on the bed, his muscles rippling gently under his skin and his own erection growing, causing a larger bulge to appear against the lacy panties.

Dean's face remained red as he knelt on the bed beside Castiel, eyes moving over Castiel's body and lingering on his crotch and thighs. He bit his lip as he reached out, and gently caressed Castiel's inner thigh, swallowing softly at the feeling of the naked skin and the thing material of the stocking.

"This is all about you," Castiel murmured. "Touch me, take me however you please. Tell me what you want, and you'll have it."

"Shit... I don't know, I just... I could spend hours just looking at you," Dean murmured, and ran his hand down Castiel's leg.

"Whatever you want," Castiel repeated, comfortable on the bed.

"... Can you... Can you sit on my lap, then? Back against my chest...?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded, and sat up, adjusting their position until he was in Dean's lap.

Dean swallowed, and ran his hands all over Castiel's thighs, then settled on his hips to gently pull at and feel the panties.

Castiel hummed softly, his erection growing until it was straining against the panties, leaving a damp spot on the front.

Dean traced the outline of Castiel's cock with his fingers, and pressed kisses to Castiel's neck. "So, so gorgeous..."

Castiel moaned softly. "Feels good..." he murmured.

Dean cupped Castiel's crotch and squeezed gently. "Tell me... How does it feel...? The lace... The stockings..."

Castiel gasped at the pressure. "Feels soft...sinful." he murmured breathily. "But I feel...good. Because you look at me, and you're so aroused from seeing me like this, and I just feel good because you do..."

Dean kissed Castiel's shoulder and neck, and rubbed Castiel's erection through the panties. "Yeah... I could just... Eat you right up. You're so hot."

Castiel whimpered softly, shuddering in Dean's arms.

Dean stopped rubbing Castiel through the panties, and let his hands run up Castiel's sides, and started rubbing his husband's nipples with the pad of his thumbs. "Hey, Cas... I want you to come in the panties," he murmured against Castiel's neck, and pinched the nipples.

Castiel moaned and shuddered. "O...okay..." he whispered.

Dean pulled, pinched, and rubbed Castiel's nipples, while sucking marks on Castiel's neck. "Maybe I should... Use your mouth, and talk dirty to you," he whispered.

Castiel shuddered and whimpered. "Yes...yes, please..." he begged softly.

"Show me how much you want me to use your mouth, Castiel," Dean murmured, letting go of Castiel's nipples.

Castiel dropped down on his knees, legs spread as he looked up at Dean with big blue eyes, licking his lips to make them shiny. "I'll be so good for you," he murmured. "Please..."

Dean let out a shaky breath, and reached out to run his hands through Castiel's hair while he stood on his knees. "Then be a good boy and open your mouth wide for me, and I'll give it to you..."

Castiel immediately parted his lips widely, waiting patiently for his mouth to be filled.

Dean guided his cock to Castiel's mouth, and slowly pushed in as far as he dared, groaning. "You can touch yourself, but you can't take your dick out of the panties..."

Castiel moaned around Dean's cock, lapping at the underside and sucking gently.

Dean gently petted Castiel's hair, giving Castiel a moment to just suck him, before he slowly pulled out and then pushed back in. "Fuck, Cas... Feels so good."

Castiel relaxed his throat, letting Dean push in a little farther.

"Taking my cock so well," Dean moaned, as he started moving in and out of Castiel's mouth in shallow thrusts. "You want me to come down your throat, Cas? Or do you want me to paint your face?"

Castiel couldn't respond with his mouth full of cock, but when Dean slipped out, he replied "Whatever you want to do," looking up with an innocent look on his face, parting his lips again.

Dean smiled, and guided his erection back into Castiel's mouth, and started to thrust again almost immediately. "You're so good to me, Cas..."

Castiel moaned, and started to suck, palming himself through his panties.

Dean groaned and buried his fingers in Castiel's hair, then picked up the pace a little.

Castiel gagged slightly as Dean pushed a little too hard.

"Shit- Shit, I'm sorry-" Dean said hurriedly, and went back to the slow, careful pace he'd started with.

Castiel just hummed, and moaned as he palmed himself. "Talk to me, please." he whimpered when Dean pulled out slightly.

"Oh... I'm sorry, I guess I got a little lost in the awesome feeling of your mouth," Dean murmured, and caressed Castiel's face. "It's so wet and hot, and you make all these amazing noises... You're such a good boy."

Castiel shuddered and gasped slightly, the words going straight to his cock.

Dean looked down at Castiel, and licked his lip. "You know what? I think I wanna come on your face... I want you to suck me off, and when I get close, I'm gonna pull out and paint your face with my come..."

Castiel groaned, his hips jerking into his hand as he started increasing the suction, lapping at the head.

Dean leaned his head back and moaned. "Fuck, yeah... Just like that. So, so good for me, Cas. My gorgeous husband and cockslut... And best of all, you're only mine."

Castiel whimpered and whined, the vibrations traveling through his mouth onto Dean's cock.

Dean bit his lip. "Mmh... And you look sinfully sexy in the lingerie, Cas... Tell you what... One day I might text or call you, tell you to put those on and prep yourself, so that I can have you as soon as I get home."

Castiel moaned, body trembling and clearly close to his own orgasm.

"Or you could wear them under your clothes the whole day... No one would have a clue but you and me. Boy... At the end of the day, I'd love to strip you down, suck you through the panties and then pull them down just enough to let me eat you out..." Dean breathed hard, muscles starting to tense.

Castiel moaned loudly, shaking, letting go of his erection so he didn't come quickly.

Dean felt his orgasm building up quickly, and he grabbed the base of his cock. "Yeah... Like that, don't you? Gosh. You're so perfect... So so perfect, and only for me," he murmured. "Now make sure to keep your eyes closed, like a good boy..."

Castiel closed his eyes, the panties soaked with precome.

Dean moaned as he pulled out of Castiel's mouth and gave his erection a few strokes, before tipping over the edge and coming over all Castiel's face.

Castiel shuddered, and cried out as he came into the panties.

Dean watched his husband with big eyes and parted lips. "... Did you just come?" he asked, breathlessly.

Castiel whined and nodded softly.

"... That is so hot," Dean said, and sat down so he could kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, panting, the panties stained with come now.

Dean wiped some come off Castiel's cheek with two fingers, and after he broke the kiss, he licked the cum off his fingers.

Castiel was panting, and he slumped forwards into Dean's arms, exhausted.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. "I'm gonna fetch a small towel or something. Clean you up a bit."

"Mkay." Castiel murmured.

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek, and moved him so that he was laying down. He got off the bed and went to fetch a towel, then came back to help Castiel strip and to wipe off all the come.

Castiel could barely keep his eyes open, he was so exhausted.

After putting the towel away, Dean went back to the bed and tucked Castiel in, before finally slipping under the covers to join him.

Castiel tucked his head against Dean's chest, falling asleep almost instantly.

Dean fell asleep just a short while later, tiredness finally setting in and letting him relax and sleep peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm editing this after a long day at work, so forgive me if there are typos anywhere.
> 
> I hope everyone had a great weekend, and don't forget, our new fic begins posting on Tuesday!
> 
> ~Cinder


	31. Angel and Green Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Summary/ Spoilers**
> 
> Castiel and Dean wake up and spend the day lazing around before doing some window shopping and planning out a roleplay for that night. While waiting for Castiel to arrive and begin the scene, Dean meets someone he might have known a while ago. When Castiel arrives, the two flirt a while before heading back up to the room for a night of sexual adventure.
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Derogatory language directed at Dean and Castiel
> 
>  **KINKS**  
>  Roleplaying client/sex worker, nothing derogatory or hurtful about sex workers is played out. The word "prostitute" is used throughout the chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As a note, Dean and Cas' views of sex work here is not reflecting mine and Uke's views. While the word "prostitute" is considered a slur in the sex work world, it was used in the fic as neither Dean nor Cas would have done any research past what mass media shows them.
> 
> Also, never have sex without a condom unless you're dedicated partners. Safe sex is key!  
> ~Cinder

Castiel woke the next morning and stirred sleepily, not wanting to move.

Dean was still fast asleep, his hair sticking in all directions and lips slightly parted.

Castiel smiled at the sight, and cuddled close to his husband, content to lay there until Dean woke.

It took a while, but eventually Dean stirred, and he whined quietly and pressed his face into the pillow.

Castiel chuckled. "Good morning, handsome husband of mine." he murmured.

"Mmh... And I was having such good dreams..." Dean mumbled, and rubbed his eyes.

Castiel kissed his chest. "We're married," he murmured.

Dean grinned. "Yeah... That we are," he said softly.

Castiel grinned and cuddled closer. "And I am not moving right now."

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and kissed the top of his head. "Fine by me. We can lay in bed all day if we want to."

"That we can" he murmured softly. "...did you enjoy last night?" he asked after a little while.

"Mmh. I sure did," Dean replied, and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "I loved it. Thank you, Cas."

Castiel smiled softly. "I didn't actually mind it," he murmured. "And seeing your face made it worth it.

Dean chuckled softly. "I don't know what I expected, but that wasn't it... It was a pleasant surprise."

Castiel smiled, and cuddled close, tracing patterns along Dean's skin.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel head again, and held him tightly in his arms.

After a while, Castiel murmured. "Is it all right if we do the roleplay tonight?"

"Sure," Dean mumbled. "Let's go out for lunch, so we can check out the place you mentioned... Plan it out a little."

"Sounds good to me," Castiel smiled softly, pressing kisses to Dean's chest.

Dean smiled. "But it's a long time before it's time for lunch... So we can just cuddle for a while."

"Also sounds good," Castiel murmured. "We can try out the bathtub too, if you want?"

"Yes, that'd be really awesome," Dean grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "A nice warm bath sounds really good right now..." he murmured, shifting when he heard his phone buzz with texts. He reached to grab it, and smiled, showing Dean the picture Sam texted him. Jess was napping on their couch with both kittens curled up on her.

Dean smiled too. "Well isn't that just adorable? I bet the kittens aren't gonna miss us much because of those two."

"Pirate will be missing you a lot," Castiel murmured. "She loves you more than anything, I swear."

"Yeah, but that just means it's mostly me that she wakes up in the middle of the night when she's lonely..." Dean chuckled.

Castiel chuckled. "Which wakes me up by default." he chuckled. "I love our kittens though, truly. I'm glad we got them."

"Yeah... Honestly, I'm still not a big fan of pets, but our kittens... They're awesome," Dean murmured.

Castiel chuckled softly. "Don't even pretend you don't love them."

Dean huffed. "I'm not. I do love them. The other cats and dogs and whatever are just furballs."

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean's chest. "I'm going to start the bath then, if that's all right?"

"Yeah, all right." Dean nodded, then pulled Castiel up so he could give him a kiss on the lips.

Castiel kissed back happily before getting out of bed, still naked and not bothering to put clothes on as he walked to the bathroom.

Dean gave a low whistle, and made no attempt of pretending that he wasn't watching his naked husband.

Castiel chuckled and started the water, heading back to the bed, his cock half hard.

Dean grinned. "Well hello there, hot stuff," he greeted when Castiel came back.

Castiel flushed. "You gain a lot of enjoyment out of my body."

"Well of course. You're my very good looking husband," Dean said.

Castiel smiled softly. "The bath is running," he murmured. 

Dean sat up on the bed and stretched. "Mmh... Awesome."

Castiel chuckled, and gave Dean his hand.

Dean took Castiel's hand and gently kissed his knuckles, before getting off the bed.

Castiel smiled, his eyes tracing over Dean's body. "How can you say I'm beautiful when you're standing there looking like this?" he asked.

"Looking like what?" Dean asked, and scratched his chest. "Like someone who just got out of bed?"

"You're beautiful," Castiel replied, running his hand down the curve of his husband's side.

Dean smiled softly, and leaned in to kiss Castiel's cheek. "Not more beautiful than you."

"I beg to differ," Castiel replied, kissing his lips.

The tub was half full when they walked in, and Castiel smiled.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. "I still think you're more beautiful, Cas," he said, and had a close eye on the water. He turned the water off when there was enough in the tub.

Castiel chuckled, and set two fluffy towels on the side before carefully stepping in.

Dean instinctively held his hands out in case Castiel would need help, then carefully stepped into the tub after Castiel.

Castiel settled down into the tub, letting out a soft, happy sigh as he settled into the warm water.

Dean made a happy noise as he also settled down. "Aw man... This is great."

"It is. This is a very nice tub," Castiel murmured, moving so he could cuddle with Dean.

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel to hold him close. "When we get ourselves a house... A good bathroom is a must."

"Indeed." Castiel murmured, nuzzling his face into Dean's neck.

"And a good kitchen..." Dean added, and started to draw circles on Castiel's skin with his fingers.

"And a few extra bedrooms, so one day, we can fill them." Castiel murmured quietly.

Dean nodded. "That too... And a big lawn, and a nice garage. I could build you a studio, if we don't have space in the house." 

Castiel smiled. "You woo me with your words, Dean Winchester."

Dean chuckled. "You call that wooing?"

Castiel smirked. "What would you consider wooing then?"

Dean pursed his lips. "... That is a pretty good question. I'd probably say a proper wooing would be dressing up nicely, give you gifts, take you out to dinner... Wow. That sounds like a bad romantic movie." He wrinkled his nose.

Castiel laughed. "You don't have to worry, you've already wooed me." he chuckled, lacing their fingers together.

Dean grinned. "That's good," he murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled and kissed Dean's lips, before he gently started to massage the other's chest.

Dean kissed back, and continued to draw circles on Castiel's skin.

Castiel let his fingers explore every inch of Dean's torso.

Dean smiled softly. "You like what you feel?"

"No," Castiel murmured. "I love it."

Dean chuckled, and kissed Castiel.

Castiel kissed back, settling down in Dean's lap.

Dean hummed happily and wrapped his arms around Castiel.

Castiel smiled and cuddled close, his fingers gently rubbing where he could reach.

"Well aren't you cuddly?" Dean chuckled and grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "Is there anything wrong with that?"

"Not at all. I love it." Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel smiled happily, and grabbed the soap to start washing Dean.

Dean leaned back, and let himself be washed by his husband.

Castiel took his time, and teased and pulled on Dean's cock a little when he got there.

Dean's breath hitched and he looked at his husband. "Feeling playful?"

"Feeling like teasing," he chuckled.

Dean stuck his tongue out. "Awww..."

Castiel chuckled. "I want you to be riled up for tonight." he murmured. 

"Want me to get a little rough with you?" Dean murmured.

"You'd have to be really horny to hire a prostitute, after all," Castiel whispered into his ear, nipping at it.

Dean hummed, and moved his hands down to Castiel's thighs. "That's true..."

"Especially one that would do anything for the right price," he purred.

Dean chuckled, hands sliding to Castiel ass. "I'm guessing you won't be cheap..."

"Depends on your method of payment." Castiel murmured.

"A night of passion and a life of being my husband," Dean murmured.

"We'll discuss it more at the bar, although it seems pretty good to me," Castiel smiled.

Dean grinned. "Good. Then I think I'll be able to afford your services."

Castiel chuckled and pulled on his cock once more before letting go.

Dean groaned. "Yeah, definitely a tease..."

Castiel kissed him, and cuddled close.

Dean put his arms around Castiel's waist and held him close.

Castiel hummed happily, Amd relaxed, cuddling until the water cooled down.

Dean kissed Castiel's forehead. "Maybe we should get out," he murmured.

"Yeah..." Castiel murmured, slowly sitting up.

Dean licked his lips, and let his hand run over Castiel's hip and thigh.

Castiel smiled, and carefully stood and got out of the tub.

Dean carefully followed Castiel out of the tub, and stretched a bit when he was out.

Castiel smiled and handed Dean a towel, drying off.

Dean smiled too, dried himself and then wandered into the bedroom to pull some clothes on.

Castiel followed him, pulling on his own clothes. "I'm getting pretty hungry," he murmured.

"Let's go out and find some place to eat," Dean said, grinning.

Castiel smiled and grabbed his keycard, putting it in his wallet before giving Dean his hand.

Dean grinned and took Castiel's hand in his own, then walked out together with Castiel.

Castiel smiled. "I'd like to pay today, so I can sign my new name."

"All right, if you say so," Dean replied, smiling and kissing Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled happily.

"Jesus Christ, can't you at least PRETEND to be normal in public. Fucking faggots." a sullen boy, no older than twenty one, commented from behind them.

Dean's eyes widened, and he stopped walking so he could look behind him. "... Excuse me?"

"No one wants to see you sucking dick in public," the boy replied.

Castiel's brow furrowed. "We are holding hands. There is nothing wrong with that."

"There is everything wrong with that."

Dean snorted. "Are you seriously trying to pick a fight, shorty?"

"Bring it, fairy," the kid snorted.

Castiel held tightly onto Dean's hand. "It's not worth it Dean, please."

"... Fine," Dean grumbled, and unwillingly turned away from the kid to start walking again.

"Faggots!" the kid called after them before turning his own way.

Dean gritted his teeth, but said nothing.

Castiel squeezed his hand. "It's all right Dean, it's okay." he murmured.

"It's not..." Dean mumbled and shook his head.

"I know it's not, but it's something we'll have to live with. We can't be picking fights with everyone who sees us as wrong."

Dean sighed, shoulder slumping. "I guess you're right..."

Castiel leaned over to steal a kiss. "We'll be okay. We know better." he murmured.

"Yeah, okay..." Dean mumbled quietly.

Castiel frowned. "Do you want to go back to the hotel?" he asked softly. He hated seeing Dean like this.

Dean shook his head. "No, it's okay. Just need something to eat, I think."

Castiel nodded. "Let me know what I can do to help," He murmured, squeezing his hand softly.

"Okay, Cas," Dean said with a small nod, then kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel gave him a small smile. "What looks good to you?" he asked as they walked by little restaurants.

Dean looked around. "... What about that place? There doesn't seem to be a lot of people there."

Castiel looked at the place Dean was indicating, a little seafood hut that offered sushi. "Sure, why not?" he smiled.

"Awesome." Dean smiled a little, and went with Castiel to the place.

Castiel squeezed his hand gently as they sat down and were given a menu.

Dean took a look at the menu, reading slowly and quietly mouthing the words to himself. "... Most of this sounds pretty good."

Castiel smiled, proud that Dean was taking the effort to read the menu himself. "It does. I think I'm going to get some of the sushi.

"Mmh... I got no clue what to get... Maybe something with salmon. Or shrimp." Dean pursed his lips.

"The salmon sounds really good to me," Castiel mused. "I also may get a side of that edamame, it smells really good."

"... What's... Nay-gi... Nee... Ni-something-sushi?" Dean asked.

"Nigiri? That's a slice of raw fish of your choosing on top of a ball of rice." Castiel replied.

"Oh, okay... Do you know if it's any good?" Dean looked at his husband with a raised brow.

"Depends on the place. I enjoy it from time to time," Castiel replied.

"Is it the same with those rolls? Like, it depends on the place...?"

"Basically all sushi depends on the place," Castiel replied.

Dean gave the menu a skeptical look. "Mh. Should I try something new or just go with the salmon?"

"It's up to you." Castiel replied. "I'm getting the salmon, so if you don't like what you order we can share it."

"All right. Sounds like a plan." Dean looked over the menu again carefully to decide what he wanted.

A server came over a few moments later. "Have you gentlemen decided what you wanted, or do you need a few more minutes?"

"I'm ready," Castiel replied, looking at Dean. "Are you?"

"Yeah, I'm ready," Dean said with a small nod, and looked back at Castiel, wanting his husband to go first.

Castiel smiled, and ordered the salmon, a side of edamame, and four California rolls.

Dean ordered four pieces of nigiri - two shrimp, two salmon -, three spicy tuna rolls and a bowl of miso soup.

The server smiled and took the menus before going to let the chef know what they ordered.

Castiel smiled at his husband, and reached across the table, offering his hand.

Dean smiled back and happily took Castiel's hand in his own. "I hope we can go out and eat more often now..."

Castiel chuckled. "Let's try for at least once a week." he murmured.

"Yeah... Make time for just the two of us, and giving Sam a bit more alone time at the apartment," Dean said, stroking Castiel's hand with his thumb.

Castiel smiled happily at the touch. "Sounds good to me." he murmured softly. "Although...have you met any of Sam's friends? I haven't yet."

"Well, I have gotten a couple of glimpses when I've given him a ride and picked him up and stuff, but nothing else." Dean shrugged. "We could always ask him."

Castiel nodded. "I know Sam's a smart kid, but he's been keeping very quiet and to himself. It...It kind of reminds me a little bit of me." he admitted softly. "And that concerns me."

Dean frowned. "... No offense, but I really, really hope that it's nothing like that."

"No offense taken," Castiel replied. "I would only wish what I've gone through on Alistair. Never anyone else." he murmured.

Dean rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, and lowered his head slightly. "Yeah..."

Castiel squeezed his hand gently. "I'm sure I'm just overthinking things." Castiel murmured. "You know how I can get."

"Yeah, I know, but now I'm thinking about it too," Dean chuckled awkwardly. "Man... I hope the food is good."

Castiel nodded. "Same here."

The server came back a few minutes later, their food in hand.

Dean smiled and thank the server, when they got the food. "It looks really weird, but good."

Castiel chuckled, and prayed before he ate a California roll. "This is very good." he smiled happily.

Dean tried one of the shrimp nigiri, and chewed with a thoughtful look on his face. "... Not too bad," he said, looking a bit impressed.

Castiel smiled, and started to cut up the salmon in front of him.

"Huh... So you just drink the soup from the bowl?" Dean raised a brow.

"Indeed," Castiel nodded, showing Dean how to hold the bowl properly.

"Weeeeiiird..." Dean mumbled, and took a sip of the soup.

"It's simply a different culture," Castiel replied.

"I know," Dean said, and took another sip.

Castiel happily ate his food, offering Dean a bite of the salmon.

Dean accepted the bite with a pleased hum.

Castiel chuckled, and finished his food. "That was delicious," he grinned.

"It really was," Dean agreed, and finished off the last of his own food.

"We'll have to come here again before we leave."

"Definitely." Dean nodded.

Castiel smiled, and got up to pay for the bill, signing "Castiel Winchester" with a large smile.

Dean waited for Castiel to pay, and smiled at him when he came back. "Let's go make plans for tonight."

Castiel nodded, and gave Dean his hand. "I'll show you the bar I was thinking of," he replied.

"Yeah. I'll be more relaxed if I know what it looks like." Dean took Castiel's hand and laced their fingers together as they left.

Castiel nodded, and led Dean to a bar not even a block away. It was clean, with a lot of tables and a couple of pool tables, as well as a large bar to sit at. A pretty blond was serving drinks to a few people, but it was nothing sketchy. They offered sandwiches in addition to drinks.

"... Are you planning to go inside, or staying outside?" Dean asked as they looked around.

"I was thinking to go inside," Castiel replied, his voice low. "Maybe approach you while you're playing pool."

Dean licked his lips. "Oh, okay... Anything else?"

"You would come here first, maybe grab a light sandwich, play some pool. Then I would come in and approach you, and if I tell you any more, it would ruin it." Castiel pecked his cheek.

Dean pouted a little. "All right. But that does sound good... So we're going back to the hotel, and then later I'm going out first, and after a while you follow?"

"Well, we don't have to go back to the hotel right away." He replied. "And yes, that's the plan."

"All righty then. Wanna just walk around for a bit? See if there's some interesting shops around here or something?"

"Sounds good to me," Castiel smiled, squeezing Dean's hand as they started to walk.

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek, and was content and happy to just walk with his husband.

After a few hours, Castiel smiled. "We should get back to the hotel."

Dean smiled and nodded. "Yeah, we should. So we can get ready and have a good night," he said, grinning.

Castiel grinned as well. "I do have to get ready, so once you leave, give me about half an hour to forty five minutes to get there, all right?"

Dean was surprised. "You gonna go through some self spa treatment or something?"

"You'll see, it's a surprise." Castiel kissed his cheek.

"All right. I look forward to it," Dean said, winking.

Castiel smiled, and let them into the hotel room once they were inside. He had to wait for Dean to leave before he would start getting ready.

Dean spent a little bit of time preparing to go out to the bar. When he was done, he grabbed the leather jacket Castiel had given him and put it on. "So... See you in forty something?" he said, while making sure that he had his phone and wallet.

Castiel nodded. "I'll text if I get held up, but I shouldn't." he gave Dean a kiss before locking the door behind him.

Dean was curious about what would be taking so long, but decided to focus on getting to the bar, get something to eat and hopefully find someone to play pool with.

There were a few people at the bar, and a larger, bearded man was hanging around the pool tables, clearly looking for someone to play with.

Dean didn't hesitate and immediately approached the man with a grin, and it wasn't long before they started playing.

The man introduced himself as Benny, and he had a gruff Louisiana accent. "So how'd you end up here, brother?" he asked as he set up the table. 

Dean carefully watched Benny. "The promise of a new start. I've been living and working here in California for over a year, now."

Benny nodded, and indicated that Dean should break. "Good place to come," he replied. "This is a nice little town, far away from the hustle and bustle of the big cities. You sound like a Midwesterner, it must be a change."

"I'm from Lawrence, Kansas. And the change doesn't bother me much..." Dean shrugged slightly as he got in position, biting his lip and concentrating. "I'm just happy to be here." He shot, and slowly straightened up to watch the balls scatter over the table.

Benny's eyebrows shot up for a second when Dean mentioned he was from Lawrence, but they settled back down when Dean looked at him. The other man clearly didn't remember, and he wouldn't be the one to bring it back up. He started setting up his next shot instead. "Same here, brother." he replied, sinking the first ball.

"Are you all alone, or have you got family here?" Dean asked.

"Got a wife," Benny replied. "How about you?

"Wow, man, that really sucks," Dean said. "I live with my younger brother and my... My husband." His cheeks turned pink as he realized that maybe he shouldn't have said that.

Benny didn't even bat an eyelash, understanding and deciding right then not to bring it up at all, instead sinking the ball again when it was his turn. "Can't judge you there, brother. I've had a few things myself in the past. At least you married yours."

Dean kept his eyes on the table, waiting for his turn. "Yeah... He's just simply amazing. Couldn't not marry him."

"Treasure it, brother." Benny replied, missing the next ball and backing up so Dean could take his turn.

"I do. I really do," Dean said as he moved and lined up the shot, then sunk a ball.

Benny won that game, and lost the next, and they continued to play.

After about forty minutes, Castiel entered the bar. He was wearing the flattering jeans Dean had bought him, riding low on his hips, and a tight, short sleeved v-neck. His arms showed no trace of any scars. Jo and Jess had taught him how to use makeup to conceal them, and now they could only be seen if they were touched. Castiel had done his entire body, and only the larger scars, such as the lines on his wrists and his stab wounds, couldn't be completely concealed. His hair was messy, and he had added a little bit of eyeliner to accentuate his eyes, which found Dean at the pool tables.

Dean didn't notice Castiel at first, as he was mostly turned away from the door, but his back wasn't completely facing the door. He laughed at something that Benny said, having gotten really comfortable around the older man, and was actually having a good time.

Castiel made his way over to the two men. "Mind if I join next game?" he asked.

Dean turned to Castiel, and almost dropped the cue as he saw the _smoother_ skin of his husband. He opened his mouth to say something, but ended up quickly closing it and swallowing thickly. He had to remember, that they were supposed to play, though now he'd stuck his foot in his mouth saying that he was married and now Benny might think he was a cheater...

"... Sure, why not. What do you think, Benny?" Dean asked.

Benny shrugged. "Sure. What's your name, brother?" he asked.

"Angel," Castiel replied, picking up a pool cue of his own, sending Dean a flirty smile. He had seen how Dean had reacted to his skin, and he hoped Dean enjoyed it. "I'm a little rusty, I haven't played in quite a long time, just to warn you two."

Dean gave Castiel a once over, and he thought that it was pretty unfair. His husband just comes wandering in, looking all gorgeous and flawless - though it was really strange not seeing the scars - and he had put himself in a tight spot. But Castiel really wanted this... "It's all right, Angel... You'll get the hang of it soon enough. If not, we'll just have to help you," he said, grinning. 

Castiel smiled, and Benny gave Dean a look, before he bounced the cue ball off of two balls, sending them both into their respective pockets. "I win this one, brother."

Dean licked his lips, his grip on the cue tightening. "Yeah. Seems like you do," he said.

Benny retrieved the balls and set them up in the center. "So Angel, what brings you here?"

"Just looking for a good time, and a good night." his hip brushed against Dean's as he walked by, his hips swaying a little more than usual.

Dean's eyes flickered down to Castiel's hips and ass, but quickly raised his gaze to Castiel's face. "Awesome. You've come to the right place."

Castiel smiled flirtatiously, leaning over to break, his back arcing and his ass curving up nicely. Even Benny couldn't help but steal a glance.

This time Dean allowed himself a good, long look. At least until Castiel had made the break. Damn, his husband was hot.\

Castiel stood back up, and flashed Dean another smile. "Your turn, green eyes."

Dean raised his brows, and smiled charmingly at Castiel. "Name's Dean, Angel," he said, and gave Castiel's ass a light smack as he moved past him. Then he got into position for his shot, and sunk a ball.

Castiel jumped slightly, and gave Dean another flirty smile. "Dean, huh? I think I like green eyes better. You're lucky I like you, I normally charge for that." he leaned on his cue.

Benny had his eyes darting between the two, not sure what to think.

"Oh, really? Well aren't I lucky," Dean grinned as he lined up his shot, and sunk another ball.

"You could be," Castiel replied, the shirt he was wearing riding up to expose a hip.

Dean missed the ball this time, and he didn't know if it was Castiel's exposed skin or something else, but it really didn't matter. 

Benny took his turn, sinking three balls before missing. Castiel leaned back down, adopting the same stance as before, his hip rubbing against Dean's side.

Dean swallowed and looked down at Castiel, his fingers itching to touch his husband.

Castiel fumbled with the pool cue a little. "Can you help me set my hands up correctly, green eyes?" he asked, looking over his shoulder back at Dean.

Dean smirked at that, and set his own cue aside for the moment. "Sure, Angel," he said, and pressed himself against Castiel when he moved to help him.

Castiel pressed his ass against Dean's crotch, rocking it slightly.

Benny's eyebrows shot up. "Brother, can I have a moment?" he asked, looking at Dean.

Dean cursed inwardly, and removed himself from Castiel, but not before whispering in his ear low enough for Benny to not hear, "I'll be right back. Stay here." He patted Castiel gently on the hip, before turning his attention to Benny. 

Benny pulled Dean away. "Listen brother, I know we just met and everything, but I like you. And I'm gonna warn you right now, you're flirting with a prostitute. This isn't gonna end well, especially for your marriage."

Dean couldn't help but shift awkwardly from one foot to the other, and he coughed awkwardly into his fist. He should've known that this was a possible outcome. "Uhm... Dude... This is really embarrassing, but uh..." He took a deep breath, and lowered his voice. "That is my husband."

Benny's brows shot up again. "I'm sorry?"

Dean's face turned red, and he awkwardly looked at his feet. "That's my husband. We're just playing..."

Benny's cheeks turned a little pink. "Oh...sorry brother, I didn't mean to spoil anything."

"No no, it's fine," Dean chuckled awkwardly. "But, erh... Thanks anyway. It's nice to know you care."

Benny nodded. "Well, let's get back to the game, then. I'm not goin' any easier on you."

Dean smiled at that. "I wouldn't want you to go easy on me," he said, and they walked back to the pool table.

Castiel cocked an eyebrow at Dean, momentarily breaking character to silently ask if everything was all right.

Dean just grinned. "So... Think you can handle it yourself, or do you still need help, Angel?"

Castiel smiled and fell back into character. "I need some help, green eyes. You left me here by myself." he pouted slightly.

"Aw, I'm sorry... Let me make it up to you," Dean said as he pressed himself against Castiel's back.

Castiel smiled, and let Dean move his hands. "Like this?" he asked.

"Yeah, just like that," Dean said, and pressed his crotch flush against Castiel's ass.

Castiel smirked, and whispered. "If you want more honey, you'll have to pay, and I don't come cheap."

"Oh? Then I expect you to be good at what you do, sweetcheeks," Dean whispered back. "How much?"

"I like you, so 500$ an hour," he whispered. "I do whatever you want me to do. And if you pay me enough, I'll forget the condom."

Dean pursed his lips. "... I'll give you 1200 for two hours."

Castiel smirked. "Sounds good to me, green eyes." he murmured back, before sinking three balls at once.

Dean let out a low whistle at that as he straightened up. "Awesome shot, Angel," he said, and patted Castiel's ass.

Castiel smirked, and shot again, quickly ending the game and beating both Dean and Benny.

Benny cocked an eyebrow. "Quite a hustler, aren't you Angel?"

Castiel smirked. "It helps to get a job."

Dean was a bit surprised himself. "I'm not surprised," he said with a grin.

Castiel smiled. "Well, it was nice meeting you," he nodded at Benny, standing extremely close to Dean.

Benny nodded. "Likewise, to both of you. See you around, brothers." he tipped his hat before going off to the bar.

Castiel looked up at Dean. "You have a hotel room, or we going to your place?"

Dean put a hand on Castiel's lower back. "I got a hotel room, not far from here... With a very, very nice bed," he murmured, hand going down to Castiel's ass and squeezing it.

Castiel smirked up at him. "Lead the way, green eyes." he murmured, sliding his arm through Dean's.

Dean leaned in to purr into Castiel's ear, "Of course, Angel." Then he walked out of the bar with Castiel.

Castiel smiled, and walked with Dean. "So, green eyes, what do you want with me? I'm yours completely for two hours, and you sweetened the deal enough to make me forget the condom."

"You have a very lovely voice... I can't wait to see what kind of noises you'll be making," Dean said, smirking and not answering Castiel's question.

Castiel chuckled. "Maybe it's you who will be making the noises, green eyes." he purred back.

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Angel... You don't even know what I'm planning to do with you, yet," Dean murmured.

Castiel flashed a cocky grin. "I can take whatever you give me, I can promise you that."

Dean smiled. "Well... I guess you'll just have to prove it, then," he said. When they reached their hotel room, Dean let them both inside, and locked the door after them.

Castiel looked around, as if he had never seen it before. "Nice room," he murmured, making his way over to the bed, sitting down and bouncing on it slightly.

Dean shrugged off his leather jacket and shirt, leaving him topless. "Thanks, but I'm pretty sure I know of another place I'd rather be..." He looked over at Castiel. He let his eyes wander over the length of Castiel's body.

Castiel smirked, looking over Dean's torso. "And you're pretty easy on the eyes," he smiled, shifting so he was laying back on the bed, stretching out. "So, what do you want me to do? My safeword is Burgers, by the way, before we get started."

Dean huffed and chuckled. "Burgers..." he mumbled to himself. "Do you like burgers, Angel?" he asked as he approached the bed.

"Favorite food," Castiel replied, looking up at Dean.

Dean grinned. "I like you," he said. "And I want you to start by stripping. Give me a real nice show, and I might treat you nicely... I do own you for two whole hours, after all."

Castiel chuckled, and got off of the bed. "Lay down then, green eyes, and I'll give you a show." He started to sway his hips to the tune of some song in his head, dragging his hands down his body.

Dean sat down on the bed with his back against the headboard, and his legs spread. "Give me all you got, Angel," he said, smiling as he watched Castiel.

Castiel dipped down, presenting his ass as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing a smooth chest, the only scars visible the ones from when Uriel stabbed him. He had even managed to cover up the sigil.

Dean felt a bit conflicted. While Castiel looked gorgeous with smooth skin, it wasn't what he was used to. But instead of thinking too much about it, he just smiled and watched, and rested a hand on his crotch.

Castiel dropped the shirt to the floor before he started to work his jeans down, revealing a pair of royal blue panties.

Dean's eyes widened at that, and he swallowed. "So you're a kinky angel, huh...?"

Castiel flashed him a smile. "Judging by the look on your face, you enjoy it."

"Enjoy it? I think I might love it," Dean grinned. "What about you slowly turn around, let me see a bit more..."

Castiel turned, giving Dean a good view of his ass and his growing erection.

"Yeah, that's a very nice ass... Can't wait to get my cock in there," Dean said, and pressed his palm against the growing bulge in his jeans.

Castiel smiled. "Would you like me to take off the panties, or leave them on?" he purred.

"Leave them on." Dean grinned widely.

Castiel nodded. "What would you like me to do?" he asked, still swaying his hips.

"I want you to come over here, and put that pretty mouth of yours to use." Dean unbuckled his belt and removed it, then unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans.

Castiel crawled onto the bed between Dean's leg, reaching into his pants and pulling out his erection. "You're nice and big," he purred, giving it a few good strokes.

Dean hummed and closed his eyes for a moment. "Not too big I hope," he said. "I want you to take it deep and good, but I don't want you making a mess... We'll be making enough of a mess later, when I'm fucking you into the mattress... Got it?"

"Got it," Castiel replied, before he dipped his head down to take Dean down to the hilt immediately.

Dean groaned at the feeling. "Fuck... That's a talented mouth you got there, Angel."

Castiel hummed, and started to deep throat him, pressing all of Dean's buttons, pulling out every trick he knew.

Dean gripped the sheets tightly and moaned loudly as he threw his head back. "Oh fuck, Ca- Angel..."

Castiel continued giving Dean the blow job, until he felt Dean teeter on the edge of an orgasm. At that point, he pulled off. "Don't want to end the fun too soon." he murmured.

Dean let out a shuddering breath, and leaned against the headboard. "True... We do have... A little less than two hours, to have all the fun we want. Come, sit in my lap, let me feel you," he said.

Castiel moved to straddle Dean, settling down in his lap.

Dean put his hands on Castiel's hips to pull them flush together, then let his hands wander up and down Castiel's sides and back, before grabbing the panty clad ass. "Such a pretty thing you are... You're worth every penny..."

Castiel smiled. "Oh, we've barely even started." he purred, rolling his hips slowly.

Dean grunted softly, and squeezed Castiel's ass. "Yeah... I wanna put my own mouth to use," he murmured, nosing at Castiel's neck as he slipped his fingers inside the panties.

Castiel gasped slightly, closing his eyes.

Dean pulled at the panties, making them stretch and slip in between Castiel's ass cheeks. He licked along his husband's pulse, and moved his hands up to Castiel's chest. "Such a gorgeous plaything... Do you take on regulars, sweetheart?"

"If they satisfy me enough," Castiel purred back. "Show me a good time, green eyes, and I'll take you on."

Dean smiled. "Can I leave marks on your skin, or kiss you?" he asked.

"Not on the lips, but mark me if you want." Castiel purred. He broke character slightly to whisper "I wouldn't kiss my chest or hips, you'll get a mouthful of foundation."

"Yeah... I can smell it on you," Dean mumbled, and started rubbing Castiel's nipples with his thumbs. "But there are lots of... Other places I can kiss you..."

"Indeed," Castiel purred, before he fell back into character.

Dean grinned, and started kissing and nipping at Castiel's neck. "You know what I'm planning? I'm planning to have you on your knees, with your ass in the air... I want to mark your thighs, and give your pretty little ass a smack, and then I'm gonna eat you out. Make you wet with my saliva."

Castiel grinned. "You sure know how to please a man," he purred.

Dean pinched Castiel's nipples. "Oh, I've had my own fair share of lovers... But you're the prettiest, so far."

"You don't have to charm me, although it is appreciated." Castiel nipped at Dean's earlobe.

"Oh? I'm not trying to charm you. Just stating facts," Dean said, rolling his hips against Castiel's.

Castiel smiled. "Let me know when you're ready to play." he whispered.

Dean ran his hands over Castiel's sides. "You're just so damned gorgeous.. Wish I could keep you in my lap all day," he said. "Though, I think you're gonna have to get off and get on all fours, now..."

Castiel did so, arcing his ass up the same way he did when he was playing pool.

Dean got up on his knees behind Castiel, and leaned over him, and placed a trail of kisses along his spine.

Castiel shivered, letting out a soft noise.

Dean pulled down the panties just enough to give him full access to Castiel's ass, and grabbed both cheeks to hold them apart. He didn't waste time, and gave Castiel's entrance bold lick.

Castiel gasped. He had already prepped himself beforehand, so Dean's tongue just slid inside.

Dean groaned at that. "Already loosened up, are we?" he murmured, and swirled his tongue around the hole.

Castiel was moaning and trembling. "Makes it easier, for clients I...I don't want to last with..." he whimpered.

"I see..." Dean pushed his tongue as deep as he could, while fondling and squeezing Castiel's ass cheeks.

Castiel was trembling, letting out soft noises. He always got so turned on whenever Dean ate him out.

Dean pressed his face between the cheeks, licking and fucking Castiel with his tongue. After a while he pulled away, his breath heavy as he gently smacked Castiel's ass, then rubbed his hand over the cheek

Castiel flinched, trembling slightly. "Dean..." he mumbled.

"Do you like that?" Dean asked, running his hands up and down Castiel's thighs.

Castiel trembled. "The eating out, but the smacking not so much." he had to break character, any other smacks in this position would trigger him.

"Noted," Dean mumbled, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's lower back. "I'm sorry. Won't do it again." He settled with just rubbing his hands over Castiel's thighs. "How can I make it up to you?"

It took Castiel a few moments to calm, before he took a deep breath and slipped back into Angel. "By fucking me," he whispered. "Want your cock so bad, want to feel it splitting me open. I don't know if it'll even fit..."

"Don't you worry, it'll fit," Dean said, his mouth going dry at Castiel's words. "Are you loose and slick enough for me, though, little Angel? Can I just slide right into your gorgeous body, or do you need more prep?"

"You can slide right in, green eyes." Castiel whispered, his erection hanging heavily between his legs, dripping precome onto the sheets.

Dean ran a hand over Castiel's back, then gently grabbed his hip. "All right, Angel," he said. He did a quick check by gently pushing his thumb inside of Castiel, then pulled it out and grabbed his cock, lining himself up. "Ready?"

"I was ready yesterday," Castiel replied, pushing back and taking Dean easily.

Dean let out a choked laugh, and grabbed Castiel's hips. "I don't doubt it," he said, and pushed in as far as he could go.

Castiel shuddered, still incredibly sensitive to the feeling of skin on skin. "Fuck..." he whimpered, trying to rock his hips against Dean.

Dean breathed heavily, and rolled his hips. "Feels so good to be inside you, Angel... It's like heaven," he said, holding Castiel's hips still while he slowly pulled out, then pushed back inside.

Castiel keened softly, panting. "Best I've ever been with," he moaned.

Dean chuckled as he started thrusting in and out, keeping the slow pace.

Castiel let out soft noises, panting softly. 

Dean picked up the pace after a while, biting his lip. "So tight and wonderful, Angel..."

"Fuckkk..." he whimpered, panting. "Getting close..."

Dean eased up his grip on Castiel's hips, allowing him to move if he wanted to. "Me too," he breathed out.

Castiel rocked his hips back into Dean, crying out as he found his prostate.

Dean groaned and leaned over Castiel, kissing the back of his neck.

Castiel shuddered, trembling before he cried out as he came over the sheets.

"Fuck!" Dean gasped as Castiel tightened around him. It only took two more thrusts before he also came, groaning as he wrapped an arm around Castiel's waist, holding him as he came deep inside of his husband.

Castiel cried out, slumping down against the bed in Dean's arms, as he felt the warmth explode inside of him.

Dean breathed heavily as he rested his forehead against Castiel's back, his eyes closed.

It took Castiel a while to catch his breath again, but when he did, he murmured. "That was...amazing."

Dean chuckled softly. "I'm happy you think so," he murmured. He groaned quietly as he lifted himself off Castiel and pulled out, then laid down beside his husband.

Castiel shivered at the sensation, feeling a little bit of come slide out as well. "I think Angel will have to make a reappearance every now and then, if you enjoyed that as much as I did."

"Yeah, I did, though I think I need some practice before I'm as good as you at this... Roleplaying thing. You were amazing," Dean said, looking at Castiel.

Castiel laughed softly. "I wasn't me," he murmured. "So it made it easier to act that out, you know? I also...I dunno. I feel so much more confident when I know people can't see my scars."

"That's fine, and it's okay if you want to cover up like that more often, but... I did miss being able to kiss you all over," Dean admitted.

Castiel shifted, turning so he was facing Dean and brushing a gentle hand over his cheek. "Honestly, it's a pain in the ass to do." he murmured. "Which is why I'm not doing it every day, or even really that often. It's just nice to know that I can cover up if a situation arises where I would need to be."

Dean smiled softly at Castiel. "Yeah, okay. Just remember that I love you even without the make up. And that, Castiel Winchester, is something I never thought I'd say to my husband..." He chuckled softly, and brushed some hair off Castiel's forehead.

Castiel smiled back, his eyes full of love as he looked at Dean. "I love you too, Dean Winchester." he murmured. "And it'll be a strange day when I have to repeat that sentiment to you." he chuckled.

"Mmh... What do you think would look better - Lipgloss or lipstick?" Dean asked jokingly, and grinned. Then he moved closer and kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel smiled into the kiss. "I'm definitely going to need a bath, to clean off all this makeup. Care to join?" he murmured.

"Of course I do," Dean said, and kissed Castiel again. "Let me just... Kiss you some more."

"All right," Castiel murmured, before kissing Dean. He kissed him soft and slow, tangling his fingers into the other's hair.

Dean sighed happily as he wrapped his arms around Castiel, and kissed back gently.

Castiel just cherished the slow, soft kissing, sucking gently on Dean's lips.

Dean had missed kissing Castiel during sex, and he couldn't be more happy right there and then.

Castiel had missed it too, but it had been part of their game. He was more than willing to make up for it now.

They kissed for several minutes, before Dean pulled away. "Mmh.. I'm gonna prepare the bath. You can just lay here and relax for a bit, okay?"

"Okay," Castiel murmured, pressing one last kiss to Dean's lips. "I love you so much."

"I love you too, Cas. I'll be right back." Dean smiled and gently patted Castiel's hip, before rolling off the bed and going into the bathroom to prepare the bath.

Castiel relaxed into the bed, noticing the semen and foundation that was smearing the sheets. "We'll need to change the sheets as well." he called out to Dean.

"Got it. I'll do it after our bath," Dean called back.

"You're the best husband ever." he replied.

Dean laughed at that. "I hope you'll still think that when we end up having kids."

Castiel just smiled. "I will always think that." he murmured.

Dean came back to the bedroom a moment later, smiling at his husband. "Bath's almost ready."

Castiel smiled back, and leaned up to give him a kiss. "I think I'll invite you to join me, green eyes." he whispered.

Dean chuckled softly. "Will my place in the bath be a sure thing, if I carry you to the bathroom?"

"Maybe." Castiel purred. "I like you, so I think I'll let you join. Tell you what, green eyes. You won't even have to pay."

Dean grinned, and held out his hands to Castiel. "Well, aren't you feeling generous, Angel?"

Castiel smiled and took Dean's hands. "Looks like I've got a soft spot for you, green eyes." he murmured.

Dean leaned down to press a kiss on Castiel's cheek, then helped him to stand up.

Castiel stood carefully, making a slight face at the feeling of more semen leaking out. He leaned in to give Dean a careful, hesitant kiss on the cheek, something Angel wouldn't be used to.

Dean smiled at the kiss, and then walked with Castiel to the bathroom. He let go of his husband's hands to turn the tap off, since there was enough water in the tub. Then he pulled off his jeans and underwear.

Castiel hadn't bothered to put any clothes back on, and he carefully climbed into the large tub.

Dean waited for Castiel to get settled, before he joined him in the tub, sinking down into the water with a happy sigh.

Castiel smiled, and started to wash off the foundation, the water slowly exposing his scars.

Dean watched quietly at first, then leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Castiel continued to wash himself, the water slowly turning a light brown as he washed himself.

"... It kinda looks like you're melting," Dean commented as he looked at Castiel again.

Castiel flushed slightly. "It takes a lot," he replied. "Especially to cover the sigil."

"Yeah... I can see that," Dean chuckled. "Man... I don't get how girls can put on loads of make up each and every day."

"I don't either." Castiel replied, scrubbing at his chest to try to remove the last of the makeup there.

Dean chewed on his lip. "... By the way. When did you get those panties?"

Castiel flushed. "...I may have gotten them during my bachelor party. A gift from Jo."

"Oooh..." Dean nodded slowly, then grinned. "I'll have to thank her, then."

Castiel blushed. "...why does she know about your panty kink, by the way?"

Dean blushed, and rubbed his neck. "Uh... I did have a thing with a chick who was into kinky shit long before I got together with you, which I probably have told Jo about when I was drunk... And when I was new to sex and all, I sometimes... Stole panties from the girls, and kept them," he admitted. "Which I stopped doing after Jo ended up finding a pair in my bag and I had to explain myself."

Castiel nodded. "And...do you still have them?" he had to ask.

Dean shook his head. "No. I threw them all out. And even if I had kept them, it... It wouldn't have been possible to bring them with me when we moved."

Castiel's shoulders relaxed at that. "That's true," he murmured. "Although...I also have to ask, what other kinds of things did you do with her?"

"Uh... Nothing note worthy, really..." Dean shrugged, not really feeling like talking about it. "And it was years ago..."

Castiel nodded. "Well, because of you, I may be developing one as well." he chuckled, now washing off his arms and moving onto his hips and thighs.

Dean smiled lopsidedly. "All the better for me," he murmured, and leaned back.

Castiel chuckled, and blushed as he began cleaning himself out, using his fingers.

Dean closed his eyes again, and let Castiel clean up in peace.

Castiel murmured a "Thank you," finishing up and settling down, the water brown and his skin scarred once more.

Dean opened his eyes, and looked at the water. "Wow. You must've had a lot caked on there..."

"It took a lot to get all of the scars," he murmured. "I did my entire torso, hips, thighs, and arms."

"Damn... Good job, Cas. Must feel good to have gotten it all off, I bet."

"It really does," Castiel admitted, moving to cuddle next to Dean.

Dean smiled as he put an arm around Castiel.

Castiel cuddled close. "So, dear husband of mine, what do you have in mind for the rest of our honeymoon?"

"Sleeping, eating, more sex..." Dean grinned. "Specifically, though... I'm not entirely sure. We could include food when we have sex..." He looked at Castiel. "Would you allow me to lick whipped cream off your body?"

Castiel thought about it for a moment. "Sure, why not? Apparently our honeymoon is going to be spent trying out kinks." he chuckled.

Dean grinned. "Awesome. And yeah... But it's a good time to try things out. No one is going to interrupt, we can be as loud as we want, we don't have a teen making disgusted noises at us during breakfast..."

Castiel laughed. "This is quite true," he murmured, cuddling close. "Anything else in particular you really want to try?"

Dean chewed on his lip. "... I.. No, nevermind. I got nothing," he murmured.

"It sounded like you had something," Castiel coaxed gently.

"... I'm pretty sure you won't like it," Dean admitted.

"Well, let's hear it anyways." Castiel murmured. "Please?"

Dean looked down, face turning red with shame. "... I kind of want to... Spank you. Or let you do it to me."

Castiel was quiet for a few moments. "Dean, you know why I can't handle that." he murmured softly. "It's too triggering. However," he added, before Dean's face could fall completely. "I could try doing it to you."

Dean swallowed thickly, and nodded slightly, but didn't lift his head. "All right..."

Castiel ran his hand over Dean's chest, rubbing comfortingly. "Hey, hey, it's okay. Don't feel bad." he murmured. "If you don't tell me things, we can't try to come to a compromise."

Dean nodded. "I know... I just can't help it." he murmured, and held Castiel closer.

Castiel nodded. "I know." he murmured. "And it really means a lot that you care so much."

Dean lifted his head to gently kiss Castiel's forehead.

Castiel smiled. "I love you," he murmured softly.

"I love you too, Castiel," Dean replied.

Castiel cuddled closer. "I really love you, Dean. With everything I am. I meant every single word I vowed to you a thousand times over."

Dean smiled softly. "I know you did, Cas... And I meant every word I said to you. Otherwise I would not be here, with you, having the time of my life."

Castiel smiled, nuzzling into Dean's neck. "I'm glad you're here." he whispered softly.

"I am too... And I'm happy you're still with me," Dean murmured, gently rubbing Castiel's shoulder.

"Forever and always," Castiel promised, closing his eyes and relaxing into Dean's arms.

"Forever and always," Dean repeated quietly, and held Castiel close.

Eventually, the water grew cold, and Castiel slowly untangled himself from Dean so they could get out and dry off.

Dean got out first, then held his hands out to help Castiel out of the tub. When they were out, he hand his husband a towel, then grabbed one for himself.

Castiel dried off, and yawned. "Let's change the sheets and go to bed," he murmured. "I'm exhausted..."

"All right." Dean smiled and kissed Castiel's cheek. Since he was now dry, he dropped his towel, then went to the bathroom to change the cheats.

Castiel finished drying off before joining Dean, helping him put the new bedding onto the bed.

When they were done, Dean stretched a bit and then put the dirty sheets aside.

Castiel curled up on the bed, very tired. He looked up at Dean, waiting for him to join him so they could cuddle.

Dean smiled and joined Castiel on the bed a moment later, and wrapped his arms around his husband.

Castiel smiled Amd curled closer to Dean. "I love you," he murmured, closing his eyes and burying his face into Dean's chest.

"I love you too," Dean whispered softly, and kissed the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel smiled softly, and fell asleep.


	32. Gordon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**
> 
> The honeymoon is over, and life moves on. Dean has finally met a new friend in California, and Castiel is happy for his husband. However, when Gordon gets a glimpse of Castiel's scars, his biases cause him to make fun of and trigger Castiel, leading to nightmares. Castiel keeps it quiet from his husband, though. He already feels like he's the reason Dean doesn't have many friends, and encourages him to continue his friendship with the man.

Their honeymoon ended much too quickly and soon they were back to their normal life- with the exception that they were married. They went back to work and classes, and for a while everything was the same.

Then one day, Dean managed to finally make a friend of his own. He still preferred to stay home at the apartment, but he started going out more to hang with his friend. Dean was happy that he'd gotten a friend with the same interests as him. It took a while, but after introducing Gordon to Castiel when they met him at the store and it looked like it was all fine, Dean invited Gordon over to the apartment. Not for dinner, just to hang out and watch a movie, maybe eat snacks or something.

Dean really hoped that everything would go well when Gordon was over. He remembered Balthazar, and didn't want a repeat of that. But Gordon was a cool guy, so he doubted that would happen. Still, it didn't make him feel any less nervous as he waited for his friend to come over. He really wanted Castiel and Gordon to get along.

Castiel was in the kitchen, using the easel Dean had gotten him for Christmas to work on a school assignment, currently painting a female angel with her wings wrapped around herself. Castiel didn't mind that Dean had found a friend of his own, and he was truly happy for his husband. Gordon had seemed like a friendly guy, when they had met. His sleeves were pulled up to his elbows as he worked, and he had earphones in, listening to music, so he didn't hear the knock on the door.

Dean quickly answered the door to greet his friend. "Hey man, it's good to see you!" he said, patting Gordon on the shoulder before closing the door. "How have you been?"

Gordon grinned as he pulled his shoes off. "I'm good, just good, Dean. How about you? Also, I brought drinks," he said, holding a bag.

Dean smiled. "Awesome. And I'm good." He went to the kitchen, Gordon right behind him. "Hey, Cas! Gordon's here," he said loudly, hopefully managing to catch Castiel's attention while he put the drinks away. He didn't notice that Gordon was silently staring at his husband.

Castiel jumped when he realized that Gordon was in the room, moving to yank his shirt back down, although he knew that Gordon had already gotten a good look at his heavily scarred arms. "Gordon, hello. It's good to see you again." he said politely.

Pirate, who had been curled up in Castiel's lap, hissed loudly at Gordon before bolting into Dean and Castiel's bedroom.

Dean blinked in surprise at Pirate's reaction. She never reacted that strongly to things.

Gordon grinned. "Yo, Cas. It's good to see you too," he replied, not seeming to care that they didn't know each other well, since no one rarely used any name but Dean and Sam's nickname for Castiel.

Castiel gave Gordon a polite smile, and didn't object to the nickname use. Dean referred to him as Cas to most people, and as a result, Charlie and a few others had picked it up. He figured that Dean rarely used his full name.

Gordon went over to Castiel, to get a look at his work. He gave a low whistle. "Dean told me you were good at this art stuff, but I didn't think you were this good," he said. "I'm surprised."

"Thank you," he gave Gordon a real smile then. "This isn't nearly done, though."

Gordon gave him an unsettling smile, and patted him on the shoulder. "You're welcome, Cas," he said.

Dean couldn't see since Gordon's back was turned to him, so he grinned at what he saw. "Hey, dude. Let's go see if there's anything good on Netflix," he suggested. "Cas, if you're not too busy with your art, you should join us."

Castiel tensed slightly at the touch. Unless he knew the person well, he wasn't fond of being touched. "No thank you Dean, I have to finish this painting before tomorrow." he gave Dean a smile.

"All right. Well, invitation's still open if you got time to spare," Dean said, and went over to kiss Castiel on the cheek before he went to the living room, two bottles of cider in his hands.

Gordon glanced at Castiel before following Dean.

Castiel was a little uncomfortable at the looks Gordon kept giving him. It reminded him too much of high school. But he trusted Dean, and went back to his painting, careful to keep his arms covered.

Dean and Gordon laughed at whatever they were watching, and talked a little a out everything. Eventually they needed more drinks and Dean needed a bathroom break. When Gordon entered the kitchen, he didn't say anything until he'd gotten the drinks.

"You an attention seeker or something?" he asked Castiel.

Castiel tensed. "I'm sorry?" he asked.

"I asked you if you're an attention seeker, just like all the other little emos out there," Gordon said, moving closer to Castiel.

Castiel tensed hard, but he kept his eyes down. "I'm not," he replied. "And I don't have to justify myself to you."

Gordon chuckled. "So you say, yet each one of you emos show off the results of your disgusting behavior and make all of us normal people uncomfortable... Can't imagine what Dean sees in you."

Castiel's jaw clenched. "He loves me for who I am." he replied, voice curt. "And you have no right to judge my husband's choice."

"For who you are? Man, such bull... No one can love people like you for who they are. But I guess you're attractive enough, despite what you are," Gordon said, then left the kitchen.

Castiel bit his lip, fighting back tears. He stood up, clearing his things and shutting himself in their bedroom, curling up on the bed with the kittens.

Dean was a bit surprised when he came back from the bathroom and didn't see Castiel in the kitchen when he walked by. But he saw that the bedroom door was shut, which usually meant that Castiel wanted to be alone if he was there. Feeling puzzled, Dean went back to the couch to continue watching stuff on Netflix with Gordon.

Castiel ended up crying softly into the pillow, the words Gordon had said digging into him and hurting. But he wasn't going to say anything to Dean. Dean clearly liked Gordon, and Castiel had already been the reason that Dean lost most of his friends in the first place. He wasn't about to force Dean to lose another. Besides, a lot of people didn't understand self harm. He could live with it.

It wasn't until Gordon left a few hours later, that Dean went and gently knocked on their bedroom, wanting to check up on Castiel. "Hey, Cas... Can I come in?"

Castiel had stopped crying at that point, and was just laying listlessly on the bed, Pirate and Dany in his arms. 'Yes." he murmured softly.

Dean carefully opened the door and stepped inside, and went to sit down on the bed. "How're you feeling?" he asked softly.

"....I'm okay." Castiel lied. "Just tired."

Dean nodded, and reached out to caress Castiel's hair. "Want me to get you anything?"

"No thanks." he murmured. "I'm just going to go back to sleep."

"All right. I'll come join you in a bit," Dean said, and leaned down to kiss Castiel's temple.

Castiel nodded, and closed his eyes, curling up around the kittens in his arms.

Later that night, Castiel started thrashing in his sleep, having nightmares of Alistair and the rape and his gang.

 

Dean woke up with a startled snort when Castiel managed to kick him. It took a moment before he realized that Castiel was having a bad dream, and he grabbed Castiel's shoulder. "Hey, hey Cas... Wake up. You're dreaming," he said, voice filled with sleep.

Tears were running down Castiel's cheeks, and when Dean grabbed his shoulder, his eyes snapped open and he screamed, wrenching away from Dean. He was in the middle of a full blown attack.

Dean flinched at the scream, and decided not to touch Castiel again until he was calmer. "Ssh, ssh... Cas. It's me. Dean," he said softly, even if his heart felt heavy. "You're safe."

"Don't touch me," Castiel sobbed. "You've already raped me, don't...don't! Don't touch him!" he screamed again.

Sam opened the door at that point, the screaming waking and frightening him.

"Turn the lights on," Dean told Sam, then turned to Castiel again. "Cas, c'mon, it's not real. You're at home, in your bed. With your husband," he tried again, getting a bit desperate but keeping his voice soft. "No one's getting hurt."

Sam turned the lights on, and Castiel flinched hard, shaking and trembling, clawing at himself. It had been months since he had had an attack this bad, and normally he had to be triggered fairly badly to get to this point.

Dean braced himself for any hits and screams, and grabbed Castiel's wrists to keep him from hurting himself. "Cas, please, wake up," he begged.

Castiel thrashed out once more, before he saw Dean's face, eyes widening with recognition. '...Dean?" he asked, his voice cracking.

"Yeah, it's me," he said, looking at Castiel.

Castiel started to cry, pushing himself against Dean. "Thank God...you're okay...you're all right..."

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close. "Yeah, I'm okay... Sam, could you get a glass of water?"

Sam nodded, and went to retrieve the glass.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's chest. "I...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Ssh, it's okay Cas, it's okay..." Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel was trembling, crying, and shaking. "I'm sorry..." he kept whispering over and over again.

"You're safe, Cas... Nothing's gonna hurt you," Dean murmured, and started to gently rock them.

Castiel just continued to cry, slowly calming down.

Sam returned with the water and set it on the table before he left.

Dean made a mental note to thank Sam in the morning, as he continued to comfort his upset husband.

Eventually, Castiel's tears died down, and he was slumped in Dean's arms, clearly exhausted from his breakdown. "I'm sorry." he whispered.

"There's nothing to be sorry for, Castiel," Dean murmured, kissing Castiel's hair.

Castiel curled up close. "Thank you," he whispered, an aftershock shiver wracking his body before he was pliant.

"It's no problem, Cas," Dean said softly, and gently rubbed Castiel's back. "Would you like some water?"

"...yes, please." Castiel whispered.

Dean nodded, and shifted a little so that he could grab the glass from the nightstand. "Here you go."

Castiel drank a little, and laid his head against Dean's chest. "I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight." he murmured. "But you should go back to sleep. I'll be here."

Dean put the glass away, and just held Castiel close. "Nah, it's okay. I'm not tired."

"Please." Castiel whispered. "I feel guilty enough..."

Dean frowned. "Why are you feeling guilty?"

"Because I woke you up, and you've been taking care of me and you have to work in the morning, and I...I'm just being silly and stupid as usual."

"Cas... You're not silly or stupid," Dean said. "You had a nightmare, and that's okay. And I'll be okay, I promise. Be a little selfish, and let me continue to take care of you."

Castiel swallowed, and nodded, his hand clinging onto Dean's shirt.

Dean kissed Castiel's hair again, and cradled Castiel to his chest.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's chest, and remained like that for the rest of the night.

Dean held Castiel all through the night until the morning, until his alarm went off and he had to get up. "Sorry," he murmured as he turned the alarm off.

"Sokay." Castiel murmured, reluctantly letting go of Dean to burrow back under the covers, knowing that today was going to be a very rough day.

Dean got out of bed and went to the bathroom, then came back to get dressed in his working clothes.

Castiel was under the blankets, Pirate on his side and licking his cheek, trying to cheer him up a little.

Daenerys was sleeping by Castiel's feet, like a warm comforting weight. Dean smiled lightly at the sight of their cats being with Castiel. "You ladies better take care of daddy while I'm gone," he said.

Pirate purred, and settled down, her nose touching Castiel's.

"I love you. Have a good day at work." he murmured.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean murmured and went over to kiss Castiel's temple. "I'll hurry home," he promised.

Castiel nodded. "Thanks." he murmured softly.

Dean gently caressed Castiel's cheek. "See you later," he said, then went to fetch his keys and leave for work.

Castiel closed his eyes, and didn't get out of bed the entire day.

 

Dean came home, feeling exhausted, but didn't say anything about it as he went into the bedroom to check on Castiel.

Castiel was in the same position he had been in when Dean had left, although he was asleep now.

Dean let Castiel sleep on, happy that he was getting some rest, and went to shower and then make something to eat.

Castiel woke about twenty minutes later, although he didn't move.

Dean was in the kitchen in that moment, heating up some chicken soup on the stove.

Castiel could hear the movement in the kitchen. "Dean?" he called out quietly.

Dean blinked. "... Yeah?" he called back, not knowing if he'd actually heard something or if he imagined it.

Castiel slowly got put of bed, the effort taking a lot out of him. He opened the door and made his way into the kitchen.

Dean smiled softly as he saw Castiel. "Hey... What are you doing up?"

Castiel was hugging himself. "Figured you didn't need to worry more than you are." he murmured quietly.

Dean pulled Castiel into his arms. "I worry 'cause I love you. You don't need to force yourself out of bed for my sake." He kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel leaned into his husband, hugging him back. "I...I don't know what happened yesterday." he lied softly. "I guess I was triggered on accident or something.?"

"I can't think of something that should've triggered you... Yesterday was a rather calm and easy day," Dean murmured, frowning. "You're not stressed over anything, are you?"

"Not really." Castiel murmured.

"Okay," Dean replied, and gently rubbed Castiel's back. "... How are you feeling now?"

"Okay." Castiel replied. "A little better."

"That's good," Dean smiled softly.

"Soup smells good."

"You want some? There's enough for two."

"Yes please." Castiel replied softly.

"All right. Want to go sit on the couch or eat in bed? I'll bring you the soup and join you."

"Couch." Castiel murmured.

Dean nodded, and kissed Castiel's cheek. "Let's get you to the couch, then," he said softly, and walked with Castiel to the living room.

Castiel walked over with him, and carefully sat on the couch,

Dean kissed Castiel's hair. "I'll be back in just a minute," he said, and went back to the kitchen to pour the soup into two bowls.

Castiel curled up on the couch, petting Pirate when she came up to join him.

Dean came back to the living room with the bowls and two spoons, and carefully sat down on the couch with a smile. "Were the ladies good to you today?"

"They cuddled with me the whole time." Castiel replied.

Dean nodded. "That's good."

Castiel nodded and took his bowl of soup, praying softly before he started to eat.

Dean started eating when Castiel did, and enjoyed spending a bit of time with his husband.

Castiel leaned against his husband. "So...when is the next time you're hanging out with Gordon?" he asked softly.

"He invited me to go out with him and some of his other friends next Friday, but I dunno... Sounded like they were heading to a party or something. And oh, he said it was really nice that he got to come here," Dean said.

Castiel tensed slightly. "I'm glad he enjoyed himself." Castiel replied. "And you can go if you want. You used to go to parties all the time, I'm sure you miss it."

Dean looked at Castiel. "You sure? I'd be just as happy staying home and watch a movie with you..."

"You miss it, Dean." Castiel looked up at him. "And I can't be the only friend you have. Have fun."

Dean chewed on his lip, and nodded slowly. "All right. If you say so."

Castiel kissed his cheek.


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**
> 
> Dean happily attends a party with Gordon while Castiel stays home. However, Gordon begins texting Castiel threateningly, implying that Dean is cheating on him. Castiel tries his best to ignore the messages, but confesses to Dean when he picks him up from the party. Dean ends the friendship with Gordon and does his best to comfort his upset husband.
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Bullying, harassment, slurs, alcohol use

A week passed, and Castiel was in the kitchen as they waited for Gordon to pick Dean up.

Dean was nervous but excited to be going out, and spent quite some time getting ready. He wanted to look good, but not too good to give off the wrong vibes. He wanted to have fun and then go home to his husband, not pick anyone up. When he was done, he went into the kitchen. "So... I've got my cellphone on in case you need me," he told Castiel.

Castiel nodded. "Call me if you get too drunk, I'll pick you up, all right?" Castiel had finally gotten his drivers license, and was comfortable driving the Impala.

"Awesome. I promise that I'll try not to get that drunk, though." Dean grinned. He jumped slightly as there was a knock on the door. "That must be him," he said, then wrapped his arms around Castiel and kissed him on the lips. "I'll see you tonight."

Castiel kissed him back. "Love you, see you tonight." he replied, before letting Dean go.

"Love you too." Dean smiled, then went to greet Gordon at the door and then left with him.

Castiel didn't bother giving Gordon a smile, and instead went to curl up with the kittens and read a book.

Gordon had just given Castiel a look, before he and Dean left the apartment. Dean remained oblivious.

 

A few hours later, Castiel's phone buzzed with a message that said 'hey', from an unknown number.

Castiel frowned slightly. "Hello. Who is this?"

The next message ignored Castiel's question. "Dean's having a lot of fun with this girl, Suzy. Too bad he's married to you."

Castiel gripped the phone tightly. "He wouldn't cheat." he replied.

"He'd be doing himself a favor if he did. She's very interested. And good looking. She isn't too skinny or disgusting, like you."

Castiel replied "Do not text me again. Delete my number, or I will call the police."

"I know the likes of you. You wouldn't dare to, emo bitch."

Castiel gripped his phone tightly, and shut it, ignoring it every time it went off.

The messages - containing slurs and insults on Castiel's mental health and looks - kept coming in, one after the other.

 

Later on, Dean called Castiel's phone.

Castiel hesitated, and checked the caller ID before picking up. "Dean?" he asked hesitantly.

"Hey Cas," Dean said. "What's up?"

"Nothing," Castiel lied. "How about you? Having a good time?"

"Yeah, the party's really fun! There's a lot of cool people here."

"I've heard..." Castiel muttered.

"What?" Dean asked.

"Nothing. Will you need a ride?"

"That would be awesome." Dean smiled.

"All right. I'll be there shortly." Castiel replied, getting up to get dressed and grab the keys to the Impala.

"Thanks, honey. Love you, see you in a bit," Dean said cheerily.

"Love you too," Castiel grabbed the address and hung up, driving over to the house where the party was.

Dean was waiting outside with Gordon and with a blonde, young woman. When he saw the Impala and it was time to say goodbye to the two, he and Gordon patted each other on the backs, and he let the woman kiss his cheeks and hug him.

Castiel clenched the steering wheel tightly at the display, and took a deep breath to calm down.

Gordon was giving Castiel that cold smile that really showed that he was up to no good, while Dean was busy getting to the Impala and into the passenger seat.

"Heeey, Cas," Dean greeted as he got into the car.

"Hello, Dean." Castiel murmured. "Did you have a good time?" he drove away as quickly as he could.

"Yeah, it was really fun," Dean said, smiling widely. Then he looked over at Castiel. "... You're awesome, you know that? Picking me up... So awesome."

"How drunk are you?" Castiel asked.

Dean thought about it. "... I don't feel sick, so probably not too drunk."

Castiel nodded. "What did you do?" he asked.

"Drank, danced, played games, had a couple of good laughs," Dean said.

Castiel nodded. "And how about Suzy?" he asked.

"Oh, Suzy's cool! She's religious, and she's the counselor of a church group for teenagers. She's very nice."

Castiel nodded, knuckles white as he gripped the steering wheel.

Dean was quiet for a moment, the smile slowly falling off his face. "... Wait. How did you know about Suzy?"

"...Gordon texted me." he replied, voice short.

"What? But I... Did you give him your number?" Dean asked, puzzled.

"I don't know." Castiel took out his phone and threw it in Dean's lap, over 40 texts still unopened from Gordon.

Dean blinked, and picked up the phone. Since Castiel had given him the phone, he guessed that it was okay to look, so he started to look through the messages. He was quiet for a while. "... Cas?"

Casitel's knuckles were white and he was clearly trying not to cry. 

"... Fuck," Dean mumbled as he dropped the phone in his lap.

Castiel nodded. "It's been that way since I met him."

Dean stared out the window. "... Is that why you had a full blown attack?" he asked, sounding much more sober.

Castiel nodded. "He...he called me an attention seeking emo." he whispered. "And that you deserved so much better than me."

Dean swallowed, and put his head in his hands. "Why didn't you tell me...?"

"Because I'm the reason You have barely any friends in the first place. I just...I couldn't bring myself to hurt you." Castiel whimpered, his voice cracking.

"Cas, there's not a single person I'd put in front of you and Sam. If someone hurts you, I want nothing to do with them," Dean said.

Castiel had to pull over then, his hands shaking too badly to drive as he let out a sob.

Dean kept his head in his hands, not knowing what to say or do.

Castiel was shaking, trying to keep himself together. "I didn't want to Dean, but I was so fucking weak and I couldn't take it anymore. Especially when he told me that you should cheat on me with Suzy..."

Dean took a deep breath. "It's fine, Cas. We don't need assholes like that in our lives," he said, and dropped his hands to his lap.

Castiel just buried his head into his hands. "I'm sorry...I know you liked him, and it was so good for you, but I'm just fucking weak..."

"No, Cas... There's no reason for you to endure that kind of pain for my sake."

Castiel just shook his head. "I...I shouldn't have said anything. Forget it."

"No, I won't." Dean looked at Castiel. "I want you happy. He you're happy, then so am I."

Castiel shook slightly. "He reminded me of Alistair, Dean." he murmured softly.

Dean bit his lip, and reached out to wrap an arm around Castiel and hold him close.

Castiel curled up close, flinching as his phone went off with another text.

Dean clenched his jaws and held Castiel close. "I'm so sorry Cas..."

"It's not your fault," Castiel replied, flinching as his phone went off again.

Dean picked up Castiel's phone, and looked at the messages. Then he put it down, fished out his own phone, and started dialing Gordon's number.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's shirt, calming down, although he still felt immensely guilty.

Dean pressed call.

"Hey, Dean, my man! What's up?" Gordon greeted as he picked up a moment later.

"Oh, not much. Just thinking about how nice it'll be if you stopped harassing my husband. If you don't, I'll beat you up so bad not even dear mommy will love you." Dean smiled even though Gordon couldn't see him, then ended the call. He was clearly still drunk and didn't think it through, but it was satisfying to tell Gordon off.

Castiel clung to Dean. "You didn't have to." he whispered.

"... Maybe not, but it was a bit satisfying," Dean admitted, and turned their phones off.

Castiel tucked his head against Dean's chest, huffing out a soft laugh.

Dean kissed Castiel's hair and rubbed his back. "And for your information, no- I wasn't even thinking of cheating on you. I could never do that to you... Never."

Castile nodded, curling up. "I'm sorry...I never should have thought that, but he was making me doubt..."

Dean nodded. "It's fine, Cas... Gordon's an ass. Let's forget we even knew him."

Castiel sighed. "I'm sorry....Now I know how you felt with Balthazar..."

"It's fine, Cas... I mean it," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded. After a few moments, he pulled away to start the car again. "Let's go home."

"Yeah... There's no place I'd rather be right now." Dean leaned back in his seat.

Castiel started the car and drove them home, giving Dean his hand as they got out of the car.

Dean took Castiel's hand in his own and squeezed it gently, as they walked up to their apartment.

Castiel let them in. Sam was chilling out on the couch, the kittens on his chest.

"Hey Sammy," Dean said as he saw Sam on the couch.

Sam smiled. "Hey Dean, how was your party?"

"It was awesome," Dean said, grinning.

Sam laughed and got up as the kittens ran to greet Dean and Castiel, purring.

Castiel knelt to pick up Daenerys.

Dean picked up Pirate, and held her close. "Aww, did you miss me?" he murmured as Pirate nuzzled her head against his chin and purred louder.

Castiel chucked as Daenerys licked his stubbled jaw. "I think they did."

Dean smiled. "Yeah... Well, I'm beat, so I'm gonna take this kitten with me and go to bed," he said.

"I'll join you in a second," Castiel replied, cuddling his own kitten as he went to the kitchen to grab his medication.

Dean nodded. "Okay. G'night Sam," he said as he gave Sam a smile, then went to the bedroom to get undressed and slip into bed with Pirate.

Castiel took his nightly medication, setting Daenerys down, who went to Sam's room. "Good night, Sam." he told the younger Winchester, heading into their room to strip down and join Dean in bed.

Dean was petting Pirate, who was laying on her back and purring as he rubbed her belly.

Castiel smiled at the sight, and lay in bed, petting Pirate's head and scratching behind her ears. "Hey Dean?" he murmured after a little.

"Yeah?" Dean looked at Castiel.

"I only have three semesters left of school before I graduate." he murmured.

"That's true," Dean said. "Why are you mentioning it? You thinking about the future?"

"Yes..." Castiel murmured. "I just...don't know what I'm going to do afterwards. There aren't many options for an artist..."

"We'll figure it out... And if it takes a few years, so be it," Dean said. "You can continue working as a waiter while you make a name for yourself... Or I can work extra hours and get a second job so you can spend all your time on your art."

Castiel shook his head at that last part. "You already work 40 hours a week, Dean." he murmured. "Besides, I could go into Hollywood, and make props." he pointed out.

"Mmh... That could work. But you still got time to think about it," Dean murmured.

"Yeah..." he murmured. "Once I graduate... I'd like to get a house," he murmured.

"A house would be nice, yeah... A bit more space. And more privacy."

"Doesn't have to be a big one. Just something to call ours." Castiel murmured. "And Sam only has a year left of school as well, before he's done. And we'll have Stanford to help pay for." Sam had wanted to apply to Stanford for their law program, and they were just waiting to see if he got accepted.

"Yeah... Man. I really hope he gets accepted. He really wants to go there," Dean said softly, and watched as Pirate curled up and went to sleep.

"I thunk he will. He's a bright kid." Castiel murmured.

"Yeah... Always have been. Mom and Dad would've been proud if they were still around."

Castiel nodded, curling up next to Dean and Pirate. "He's my younger brother too. And I am so proud of him."

"Mmh... Me too." Dean smiled. "He's gonna go far. Become a lawyer who earns a buttload, 'cause everyone will want to hire him..."

Castiel chuckled. "He'll do great," he murmured, closing his eyes.

"Yeah, he sure will..." Dean watched Castiel and Pirate.

Castiel drifted off to sleep not much longer later, a hand touching Dean's and his other on Pirate's side.

Dean carefully took Castiel's hand in his own, and watched his husband sleep for a long while, before closing his eyes and falling asleep himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Uke and I want to apologize for the hiatus, we were both extremely busy and exhausted last week and the fics just completely slipped our minds. We will be back on our regular schedule starting today, and again, we apologize.
> 
> ~Cinder


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY/SPOILERS**  
>  As if things couldn't get worse, Gordon appears to be more trouble than they initially thought. At night as the three Winchesters are sleeping, there's banging on the door, and they soon find out it's Gordon. He's armed and whilst Sam puts up a good fight to protect his brother and brother in law, both he and Castiel ends up in hospital for two different reasons. Dean is forced to deal with doctors as well, and they make him answer questions and make decisions he doesn't want to do...
> 
>  **WARNINGS**  
>  Violence, blood, mention of depression and anxiety and PTSD(post-traumatic stress disorder), mental breakdown, mention of hospitalization because of mental illness.

Castiel was startled awake the next morning when he heard a jiggling handle and pounding at their apartment door. His shoulders tensed, and he shook Dean awake. "Dean!"

Dean had stirred at the pounding, but it wasn't until Castiel shook him that he woke up completely. "Wha-? Huh? What the fuck is going on?" he asked as he sat up.

Pirate, who had been sleeping in their room, had jumped off the bed and darted into the bathroom to hide.

"I don't know." Castiel whispered, looking frightened.

Sam opened their door. "Do you hear that?" he asked, his voice low as well.

Dean got out of the bed and quickly pulled on a t-shirt and sweatpants. "It's not exactly hard to miss," he grumbled. "Cas, check our phones. Sam, get ready to call the police if we have to."

Castiel got out of bed and checked their phones.

Sam nodded and grabbed his phone, dialing 911 and putting his finger on the call button.

Dean went over to the door, and grabbed the handle tight. "Stop pounding the fucking door or I'll call the police!" he warned the person on the other side of the door. 

Castiel called out "Dean! There are texts from Gordon!"

"What do they say?" Dean asked. He huffed as the pounding continued, then turned to look at Sam. He silently motioned to Sam to first, go to Castiel and look at the texts. Two, call the police.

Sam nodded, and looked at the texts, on both of their phones.

Castiel's face was pale as he showed Sam the texts.

" _Faggots deserve to die_ "

Sam immediately called the police. "Dean, get away from the door!" Sam mouthed, waving frantically.

Dean furrowed his brows, and gave Sam a questioning look. Then the pounding stopped, and a moment later, there was the telltale sound of someone trying to pick the lock.

Sam just continued beckoning Dean to get away from the door. "He's probably armed, c'mon!"

Dean frowned, but let go of the handle and soundlessly backed away from the door.

Sam was talking to the police, and pulled Dean back into the bedroom and into the bathroom, the farthest away they could get from the door. Castiel was in there already, petrified with fear.

Dean pulled Castiel into his arms and held him close. He clenched his jaws as he heard the door handle rattle, before it went quiet again. He made sure to keep breathing, hoping that Castiel would breathe with him and not end up having a panic attack just yet.

It was quiet for a few minutes. Then they could hear Gordon laugh as he finally got the door open.

Sam fell quiet, and stashed the phone under the counter, still connected so the operator could hear.

Castiel clung to Dean, keeping quiet and trying to match their breathing together.

Sam immediately put himself between the couple and the door, glaring at Dean when he tried to protest. "Take care of Cas," he mouthed. "He'll try to kill you guys."

"That means he won't let you get in the way," Dean mouthed back, absolutely furious at Sam's so called 'bravery', but tried to not let it show as it might've put more stress on Castiel.

"I know you're in here somewhere... There's no need to hide, you guys. I'll find you eventually," Gordon told them as he walked inside. 

Castiel was stock still, absolutely frightened. His eyes were wide, staring at the door.

Sam braced himself, ready to confront Gordon when he opened the door.

Gordon threw every door open in the apartment. He whistled as he reached Dean and Castiel's bedroom. "Well isn't this a cozy place..." he said, then his steps drew closer to the bathroom door. The door handle moved as he pushed it down slowly, to see if the door was unlocked.

Dean started getting scared then, heart pounding his ears as he stared at his brother's back, fearing for Sam's life.

Castiel clung to Dean, biting back a sob as the handle went down.

Sam waited to see what Gordon had, so he would know how to best confront him.

The door opened, and Gordon came into view, holding a gun. "Oh, hello. Sammy, is it?" he chuckled and grinned.

Sam braced himself, using his larger body to shield Dean and Castiel from view. "Get out of here, and we won't press charges." Sam replied, his eyes on the gun. He waited, and then dove, grabbing Gordon's wrist and forcing the gun to point away from all of them, punching him in the face.

Gordon had at first just laughed at Sam, clearly underestimating him, then yelled when he was punched and stumbled. Then he laughed, even if blood was gushing from his nose. "C'mon Sammy... You're a bright kid," he said, and pulled out a knife from the back of his pants. "Dean told me lots about you. You got a good future ahead of you, man... Why waste it on those two?" 

"Because these two are the reason I have that chance." Sam replied, using his other hand to grab Gordon's with the knife, head butting him hard. "Dean, Cas, /run!/"

Gordon groaned and cursed as he dropped the knife. "I've got friends! You can't run forever, faggots! You're gonna regret choosing that bitch, Winchester!" he shouted.

"Sam, will you be okay?" Dean asked as he started moving out of the bathroom, holding Castiel close.

"I'll be fine, /go!/" Sam yelled. 

Castiel stumbled on his way out, and gasped when he heard a gunshot. "Sam!"

"GO!" Sam yelled again.

"That was probably just the wall getting shot," Dean said quickly and grabbed Castiel's wrist, and pulled him along and out of their apartment.

Castiel followed, his legs barely following. "Charlie's. We need to get to Charlie's." he sobbed, his voice cracking. He could hear police sirens quickly approaching.

Dean huffed as he noticed Castiel wasn't really keeping up. So he stopped for a moment and picked his husband up, then continued to run down and out of the building. "We'll be fine, Cas. The police is here. You'll be fine, and Sam will be fine," he said breathlessly.

The moment they were out of the building, and could see police cars, Castiel broke down into a panic attack in Dean's arms.

Dean slowed down and eventually stopped moving when he saw the cars, and craddled Castiel to his chest. "We'll be fine," he said quietly, and watched the police stop not far away from them, and how they quickly exited their cars.

Castiel was sobbing, shaking and clinging to Dean, hyperventilating. He was so scared, completely terrified, for Sam, for their kittens, for their own safety.

Another shot was heard, and part of the group of policemen ran into the building. One of the ones that stayed behind approached Dean and Castiel. "Excuse me sirs, but..."

Dean could barely hear what the man said, and let himself and Castiel be lead aside by the officer, holding his husband tightly in his arms. All the possibilities of what that gun shot could mean was running through his head.

Castiel was in no shape to be interviewed, and screamed when he heard the shot. "SAM!"

"Sam's my brother," Dean said before the officer could ask. "His stupid bravery is what managed to get me and my husband out of there. He's up there, fighting a psychopath who has a gun and a knife..." He took a deep breath. They were lead to a police car, and Dean told the man the basics of what happened.

Castiel was sobbing and shaking, and he fought when another officer tried to pull him away.

Dean clenched his jaws tightly and held Castiel even tighter, his whole body tense as he absolutely refused to let go.

"Sir, I know this is a very stressful moment, but we need you to try and remain calm. It would be for the best if you two cooperated with us," the first officer said, talking to Dean. "Put your husband down. I assure you, my colleague here will take good care of him."

Dean looked between the two officers, then down at Castiel.

Castiel shook his head. "No... Please, no." He cried.

"Suspect has escaped!" A voice crackled over the radio. "We have a young teen unconscious with a bullet wound, suspect is armed and dangerous, we need all backup now!"

"... Sam," Dean whispered, his voice breaking.

The first officer stayed behind to usher Dean and Castiel into his car, for the moment ignoring that they refused to let go of each other, while the other men who hadn't gone in got into position.

"Jones is taking the couple to safety. We are blocking all exits. Where is the suspect headed?" Someone replied over the radio.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's shoulder, letting out a sob.

"Suspect is heading out of the back entrance to the building, making his way down to 34th and 41st. Kramer and Hans are taking the teen downstairs. The wound is not fatal, but he needs an ambulance."

"Got it. Williams and Rogers, you're the closest. Lee, back them up. Keep contact. I'll call for an ambulance."

"Everything will be okay, you two," Jones said to them as he got into the car.

Dean didn't respond. He just looked down at his bare feet as he cradled Castiel.

Castiel was hyperventilating, sobbing out Sam's name. It was one of his nightmares come true, and he wasn't at all in his right mind.

Dean was quiet, and couldn't do much but to just hold Castiel. He didn't even notice that the car started moving, didn't hear the radio or the officer or anything. The only thing he was aware of was Castiel's presence and the guilt that grew heavier and heavier.

 

Sam was taken to the hospital. He had been shot in the thigh and knocked unconscious against the sink, and he had to go through surgery to remove the bullet.

Castiel, meanwhile, had to be forcibly sedated thanks to the attack he had, and the doctors were discussing having him become an inpatient for an undetermined amount of time.

A third doctor was taking care of Dean. "Mr. Winchester, we highly recommend you see a therapist, concerning this. You've gone through an awful trauma, and since both your brother and husband will be here for an undetermined amount of time, it would be recommended you go through treatment as well."

Dean gave the doctor a blank stare. "... I have enough to pay for as it is. I don't need another thing to add to the growing list," he said, voice steady but lacking its usual strength. He hated that he had to speak. "I'm fine. I don't need to see a therapist. When can I see my brother and my husband?"

"Sir, we really can't recommend you not going through some form of treatment." The doctor replied kindly. "I'd rather not have to force you, but I will if I must."

"... Wow. Accept treatment or get locked up in the house of crazy. That's just great," Dean muttered. "What would the treatment consist of? Just talk with some stranger about my feelings?"

"We'd like you to speak to a psychologist and a psychiatrist, who will then diagnose you and discuss further treatment. We know your husband has a history with mental illness, so I assume you are familiar with the procedure and treatment plans afterwards?"

"A little bit, yes," Dean replied. "He's told me everything I need to know, in case of emergencies."

The doctor nodded. "Once you've finished speaking with them, you can see your brother. Once your husband wakes up, they'll have to assess his mental state before he can be allowed visitors."

"... Will I be informed of my husband's state, later?" Dean asked.

"Yes, you will, since you are listed as his primary contact." The doctor nodded. "For now, just relax, and I'll get the others in here shortly to speak with you. Do you need any water, a snack?"

"No, thank you. I just want this over with so I can see my brother, and hopefully my husband," Dean said, and leaned back as he prepared for the wait, and hoping that the meeting would be breeze. He just wanted to be done and over with and go see his family.

The doctor nodded, and left.

 

It took about twenty minutes before a blonde woman came in. "Dean Winchester? I'm Mary Handel." she offered him her hand.

"Hey," Dean replied, and reached out to shake her hand, then put his hand back on his lap.

She took a seat across from him. "I understand you've gone through a very rough time tonight, and I deeply apologize for that." she was quite friendly, and her words were sincere. "I'd like it if you can tell me what happened. And, with your permission, I can record it and it can be used for your witness statement, but if you prefer, we can skip that part."

Dean's expression didn't change at all as he looked at her. "You can record it. I don't mind."

She nodded, and set up a recorder. "Please state your name, and the date please, and then you can proceed to tell me what happened.

Dean nodded, and turned his eyes to the recorder. Then he stated his name and the date, then he started with the beginning, how Gordon had harassed his husband. Then spoke about how Gordon had woken them up, and how it escalated from there. He included all the details he thought would be useful. When he was done, he looked at the woman.

She nodded, and had been taking notes. She turned off the recorder when Dean had finished with his statement, and turned to face him again.  
"Thank you. But now, I do have to ask. Have you ever experienced any other traumatic events? And how have you reacted to them?"

Dean looked away. He didn't want to, but it would make things in faster. "My mom died when I was a kid. I didn't speak for over a year. My dad died two years ago, and I had trouble eating for a while and wasn't very responsive. My husband..." He went on to list that had nightmares when Castiel was stabbed, how he had trouble eating and sleeping and didn't speak for weeks when Castiel had been violated. He also mentioned other things, like when Zachariah threw a knife at him, and other events he could think of.

Dr. Hendel took notes as Dean spoke. When he finished, she handed him a sheet- a depression checklist. "Please fill out this sheet, just circle the yes or no."

On the sheet were questions like _"Do you feel unhappy on a regular basis? Have you ever felt suicidal? Have you ever self-harmed?"_.

Dean paused as he looked at the questions. He felt his hands get a bit sweaty as he took his time reading, knowing that she'd probably notice that he was slow. He filled out the sheet almost painfully slowly, his heart pounding in his ears when he finally handed it back, hating the amount of 'yes' that were circled in.

She nodded as she looked the answers over. "Your husband deals with depression as well, so you're familiar with the kinds of medications he takes, correct?"

"Yes. He always makes sure I know what he's got to take." Dean looked down.

She nodded. "You'll have to speak to our psychiatrist, who will speak to you and look over my notes to prescribe a medication, or more if you need it. Right now, it appears to me you are suffering from depression, and depression-related anxiety, as well as Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However, I'd like you to take a few tests first. They're very simple, you just fill out a scantron from a scale of 1-5, one being nonexistent to 5 being a daily occurrence, about the symptoms you are suffering from. Can you do that for me?"

Dean bit his lip, and rubbed his thighs briefly before nodding. "Yeah, sure," he said, not daring to look at her.

She nodded, and got up to retrieve the tests, setting them in front of Dean. "Just let the nurse know when you're done, and I'll be back, all right?" she gave him a soft smile.

"All right..." Dean nodded, and stared at the tests. Then he started the slow process of reading and re-reading and filling out, all over again. It was hard work, and he felt sick of it before he was even halfway through it. He wished Castiel was there. Eventually he managed to finish the tests, and told the nurse he was done.

The nurse nodded, and fetched Dr. Handel. She returned a few minutes later.

"Thank you Dean, truly. And I've been told to inform you, your assailant was caught about half an hour ago." she gave him a smile. "He won't hurt you or your family anymore."

"Thank you. That's good to hear," was Dean's only response to that. "What do I do now?"

"Just sit tight, Dr. Fernandez will be with you shortly to discuss medication, as well as let you know your options for a therapist." she smiled, and gave him her hand. "It was nice meeting you Dean. I only wish it had been under better circumstances." 

"Luck has never been on my side," Dean said and shook her hand. Then he took his hand back, and slowly rubbed his thighs while he waited for the doctor and for everything to be over so he could check on Sam and Castiel.

Dr. Fernandez arrived about ten minutes later, and he gave Dean his hand to shake before he took a seat. "So, Mr. Winchester, it seems you're suffering from Recurrent depression, depression-related anxiety, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Does that sound correct?"

Dean looked at the doctor, and gave him a small nod and a shrug. "I guess...."

The doctor nodded, and proceeded to discuss with Dean the kinds of medication, prescribing him two pills to take daily. The doses were small, and not nearly close to the strength ones Castiel took. He also recommended three therapists that could help him, one of them being Castiel's therapist as well.

Dean mostly just listened to the man, and was relieved when the discussion was over. "Can I go now?" he asked when they had discussed everything. He just wanted to get away from the doctors asking him all kinds of questions he didn't want to answer.

The doctor wrote a few things down, and handed Dean a copy of the paperwork. "Yes, you may. Your brother is on the fourth floor, and Castiel has woken, but is currently being assessed. We'll let you know when you can visit him."

"Okay. Thanks, doc," Dean murmured as he got to his feet. He gave the doctor a quick goodbye, then left to go to the fourth floor to see Sam, needing to see with his own eyes that Sam was alive and breathing.

Sam was awake when Dean came in, his left thigh bandaged up. "Hey jerk," he murmured when Dean came in, voice slurred from the painkillers.

"Hey, bitch. How are you doing?" Dean asked as he dragged a chair over to Sam's bed and sat down on it.

"Okay. What about you and Cas?" he asked.

"I'm good. They caught Gordon earlier... Cas isn't so good, though. He had a panic attack and just woke up from when they sedated him. Don't know if I'll get to see him or not."

Sam nodded, frowning slightly. "But you're both alive, and that's what counts." he murmured.

"Yeah. And if you weren't already injured, I'd punch you," Dean said. "What the fuck were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I was scared for my brother's lives," Sam retorted. "I knew you would have your hands full with Cas, and if no one else distracted him you would both be dead."

Dean clenched his jaws. "You could have ended up..." He swallowed, and rubbed his thighs. "What am I supposed to tell Jess?"

"I'll tell her," Sam replied. "Besides, I'm here and alive, thanks to you teaching me how to fight. I'm not even kidding. I knew I was risking it, but Dean...without you and Cas, I would be no one, be nowhere with no future. If I lost you both...I don't know what I would do."

Dean covered his eyes with his hand, and took a deep breath. "... I'll go talk to your school, see to it that you're kept updated on work and everything else. Is there anything else I can do for you?" he asked, making sure to rub his eyes before dropping his hand.

Sam shook his head. "You should go see if you can visit Cas," he murmured. "I'm going to go back to sleep."

Dean nodded and got up. "All right, big guy... Sleep well," he said softly, and reached out to gently smooth down Sam's hair. "See you later," he said, then quietly left the room.  
Sam fell asleep quickly after Dean left.

Meanwhile, Castiel was curled in a corner of his room, whispering Dean's name. He had had a mental break, and wasn't completely there right now. But the nurse assured Dean that it was temporary, that he just needed time and care.

Dean was a bit skeptical. Castiel hadn't had a breakdown that bad before. He didn't dare to get close to Castiel, in case his husband would lash out in belief that Dean was someone that wanted to hurt him.

The nurse told Dean that they wanted to admit Castiel as an inpatient, but they would need his signature and consent.

Dean narrowed his eyes at her. "... Will I be able to visit? How long do you want to keep him?"

"Since you are his spouse, you will be given visitation rights." she replied. "And it would be best if we kept him for as long as needed, whether that be two days or two months. He's just not functional. Imagine there was a wall in his mind, keeping him from thinking of all the trauma he's gone through. That wall has shattered, and he's been constantly triggered since he arrived. Any word, position, color even has caused him to babble about an event in the past."

Dean listened to carefully to each word that she said, and slowly nodded when she'd finished. There were no way that Castiel could manage the stress of going back home. He bit his lip. "... All right. I'll sign the papers, but I expect you and the rest of the staff to take very good care of my husband."

"We will. He'll be in very good hands." she murmured, getting the papers for Dean to sign.

"You better get well again, Cas..." Dean whispered quietly, even though he knew no one could hear him. When the nurse came back, he hesitated for a moment, then signed the papers. He felt guilty to put Castiel through this, but it was for his own good.

At least he hoped so.


	35. You'll Be Okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **SUMMARY**
> 
> Dean comes to visit Castiel in the inpatient ward, but Castiel clearly isn't all there mentally. It breaks Dean's heart to see his husband like this, but he does his best to make him feel better despite how horrible he himself feels. After a while, Castiel comes back to himself.
> 
>  **TRIGGER WARNINGS**  
>  Inpatient, disassociating and memory loss as a coping mechanism, symptoms of depression and PTSD

Dean was allowed to visit Castiel three days later, once the younger man had gotten a little of his bearings back. He was in the room they had given him, playing with a "Sorry" game and murmuring something about honeybees.

Dean felt like crap. He'd barely slept for the past days, kept awake by the loneliness and the guilt, and seeing Castiel like that didn't make it any better. He just watched Castiel for a while from the door, before he dared to announce his presence. "Hey, Cas," he greeted, and carefully approached his husband. "How are you?"

Castiel turned to face Dean, and gave him an easy smile. "I am superb. Wonderful. Perfect to every degree." he replied. "Did you know that when a queen bee dies, one of her workers will grow into a new Queen to handle the hive? Fascinating."

Dean paused, and stared at his husband. "... No, I had no clue. But it's good that you feel... Good," he said awkwardly.

Castiel smiled, and opened his arms, wanting to hug Dean.

Dean gave Castiel a small smile, and moved closer pull Castiel into a gentle hug.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's shoulder. "I love you." he murmured. "Why don't you sleep with me anymore?"

Dean bit his lip. "I love you too, Cas... And I would sleep with you if I could, but I can't while you're here."

Castiel held tight. "I miss you," he murmured. "How much longer do I have to stay here?"

"I miss you too, and I don't know. You can't go until the doctor says you're well enough..."

Castiel nodded, and just held tightly to Dean. "How're the kittens?" he asked. "And Sam?"

"The kittens are doing better than I thought they would. They keep together at all times and follow me around and sleep with me at night. Sam's doing fine. He's a bit out of it because of the pain meds, but... Yeah. He's fine."

Castiel nodded, and pulled away slightly, his eyes seemingly clouding over as he grinned. "Hey Dean...pull my finger." he giggled.

Dean didn't know what to think. It weirded him out to think that the person before him was his husband. His husband who never did things like that. But if it would make that Castiel happy if only for a moment, he'd do it. "Okay then," he said, and gently pulled Castiel's finger.

Castiel farted, and he dissolved into laughter. His eyes, clear when he had been talking about Sam and the kittens, were now almost unfocused and clouded.

Dean watched Castiel laugh, but didn't make a comment on the farting. At least Castiel wasn't trying to kill or hurt himself. "You're gonna be okay," he said quietly, not really knowing if he believed it himself.

Castiel continued acting very strangely for the duration of Dean's visit, until a dark haired brunette nurse came to let Dean know it was time to leave. "Cmon Clarence, your hubby has to go now."

Castiel pouted. "But Meeeggg..."

"No buts, you'll see him tomorrow."

Dean raised a brow at the interaction between the nurse and Castiel. He made no comment as he nodded. "Yeah, I'll come by to see you tomorrow, Cas," he said.

Castiel gave Dean a hug and a kiss, his eyes clearing slightly. "I love you," he murmured.

Dean hugged Castiel tightly. "I love you too," he said softly, then reluctantly let go.

Meg led Dean out of the room. "That was the closest we've seen to him acting normal." she murmured. "The doctor's think his strange behavior is a coping mechanism."

"... Castiel has been through a lot, so yeah, probably... But at least he's not trying to hurt himself or lashing out at others... Right?" Dean looked at her, hopeful.

She shook her head. "He's become very complacent since the first day. That was the only day he lashed out."

"Okay, good to know," Dean mumbled, and nodded. "Well, uh... I'll be going. See you around, I guess."

"See you around," she gave him a wave, before going to coax Castiel out for mealtime.

Dean sighed as he turned around and left the hospital, seeing as he had no need to be there as he visited Sam before he went to see Castiel.

 

The next day, Castiel was playing twister by himself when Dean came to visit, murmuring more information about honeybees.

Knowing what to expect, Dean felt a little more relaxed. "Hey, Cas," he said as he stepped into the room, and sat down on a chair.

Castiel looked up, smiling, his eyes clearing. "Hello, Dean." he replied, getting up to go and sit in Dean's lap.

"Oh. Feeling a bit cuddly today?" Dean asked, letting Castiel sit in his lap.

Castiel smiled and cuddled close. "I miss you, and we're not allowed to touch other patients. I'm not used to not having human contact anymore."

"Aww... Sorry to hear that, Cas," Dean murmured, and wrapped his arms around Castiel. "And I miss you too."

Castiel buried his face into Dean's shoulder. "You won't leave me, now that I'm crazy, right?" he asked, voice fearful.

Dean frowned. "No, I won't... You're still my husband. Even if you're a bit... Not yourself, right now."

Castiel nodded. "I want to get better," he whispered.

"You will get better, Cas. Just gotta take it one step at a time," Dean said.

Castiel nodded. "Want to play Twister?" he offered.

"I'd love to, but another time... I'm very tired. Don't think I'd be good competition," Dean said, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel pouted, but he didn't force anything. "Okay. Can we make sandwiches then?"

Dean looked a bit confused at the question. "How would we make sandwiches?"

"I'm...not sure. Can we ask Meg?"

"Of course we can ask Meg, Cas."

He got up off of Dean's lap to press the nurse call button. Meg came after a few minutes. "What' up, Clarence?"

"He wants to make sandwiches," Dean told her.

She cocked a brow. "Romantic, sandwich making." she replied. "I'll see if I can grab anything." she left.

"I like Meg." Castiel murmured.

"She takes good care of you?" Dean asked, looking at Castiel.

Castiel nodded. "She doesn't ask me hard questions, and she let's me paint when I want." Castiel was in the high-risk ward, because of his history of self harm and suicide attempts.

Dean gave Castiel a small smile. "That's good to hear, Cas."

Castiel got back into Dean's lap and kissed him on the lips.

Dean kissed back gently, and put his arms around Castiel.

Castiel kissed him, and when he pulled away, his eyes were perfectly clear. "...Dean?"

Dean's looked at Castiel, and smiled softly. "Yeah?"

Castiel looked confused. "Where...where am I?" he looked around. "Where's Sam? Gordon?"

Dean frowned. "... Wha...? What are you talking about? You suddenly don't remember?"

Castiel looked around. "We're not at home...I...Dean, what's going on?" he voice was getting higher, starting to freak out. But he was back to normal.

"No, no, Cas- Don't panic, I'll explain everything. But first, take deep breaths and relax," Dean said.

Castiel did as asked, and Meg returned with some sandwich supplies. "Here you are Clarence."

"Who are you?" Castiel asked.

Meg's eyes widened. "How long?" she asked Dean, as she paged a doctor. Castiel was getting steadily more panicked.

Dean grabbed Castiel's face, and made his husband look at him. "Cas. You're at the hospital. You're safe. Gordon was caught by the police. Everything is fine..." He glanced at Meg. "Just for a few minutes," he told her.

She nodded, and Castiel was trying to match his breathing to Dean's. "Why am I here? Why are you? Were we hurt?"

"You had a breakdown, and had to be admitted," Dean said. "I'm fine. I'm just visiting."

"And Sam?"

Dean paused. "He's okay. He got injured, but will make a full recovery. So don't worry."

Castiel nodded, and the doctor came in. "Sir, we'll have to ask you to leave now-" 

"No!" Castiel replied. "Please, no..."

"Cas... You're in good hands. You might not remember them, but they have been taking care of you," Dean said. "Be good, and I'll be back before you know it."

Castiel nodded again. "O...okay." he agreed reluctantly, letting go of Dean.

"You can wait in the waiting room," Meg told him.

Dean nodded. "All right. See you later, Cas," he got up, and left the room.

It took a few hours, and then Meg walked out. "Hey there Winchester."

Dean looked up from his phone. "Hey. How's he doing?"

"The doctor wants to keep him for another two days, make sure that he doesn't relapse." she replied. "But if he doesn't, he's free to go home after that."

"Oh, okay. Well, that's good." Dean nodded. "Can I see him?"

"For a few minutes," she replied. "He's back in his room, c'mon."

"Okay, thanks," Dean said and got up, then walked back to Castiel's room with Meg.

Castiel was sitting on his bed, staring down at the foot of the bed. He looked up when they entered. "Dean." he murmured.

"Hey, Cas... How are you feeling?" Dean asked as he went over to Castiel.

"Exhausted." Castiel murmured, opening his arms.

Dean stepped closer and into Castiel's arms, putting his own arms around Castiel in return. "I'll be leaving soon, so that you can get some rest."

Castiel nodded. "Will you visit tomorrow?" he asked softly.

"If they allow me to, then yeah, I will," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded. "I love you," he murmured. "I'm sorry I made you worry..."

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head. "Don't be sorry, you couldn't help it."

Castiel tucked his head against Dean's chest. "Stay until I fall asleep? Please?" he asked quietly.

Dean nodded. "All right," he murmured. "I can do that."

Castiel nodded, and got situated in the bed, pulling the thin blankets over himself.

Dean sat down on the edge of the bed, to be as close as possible.

Castiel reached his hand out for Dean's, lacing their fingers together.

Dean gave Castiel's hand a gentle squeeze, and smiled lightly.

Castiel smiled back, and closed his eyes.

 

"Sleep well, Cas... Love you," Dean whispered softly.

"Love you too..." he murmured, falling asleep about ten minutes later.

Dean waited for a bit longer, to make sure that Castiel was asleep, before getting off the bed and reluctantly left the room and then the hospital. He mentally prepared himself for another lonely night. Sam was being released the next morning, so the apartment was empty apart from the cats, who greeted Dean at the door.

Dean picked both cats up and spoke to them about Castiel and Sam. He spent hours just cuddling them. Then he forced himself to eat something before he cleaned the whole apartment, and made sure to hide his medication well so that Castiel or Sam wouldn't find it. He managed to get some sleep that night, exhausted but relieved that he was at least getting to take Sam home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, we're back! Uke and I tackled NaNoWriMo this year, and while we succeeded with it, it took a lot out of us and left with no time for us to edit and post chapters. But we should be back on our regular schedule now, and we're so happy to see you all again!~
> 
> ~Cinder


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So life has swallowed both Uke and I. Uke got a full time job, and I moved and had to deal with a lot. 
> 
> We both felt bad about leaving this unfinished, so we're posting the entirety of this thread. However, since we're both super busy, it is unedited and is the raw messages we sent each other when we were writing this. There will also be no summaries from here on out, but if there's something truly triggering I'll mention it.
> 
> To those still subscribed: thank you for sticking with us. 
> 
> As far as future work goes, we still have many stories left to tell. Right now, posting is hard, but we'll be back in the future, I'm sure.
> 
> Continuing Cas and Dean's story!
> 
> ~Cinder

Sam was waiting for Dean when he came to get him. "How's Cas?" he asked.

"Better. He might be coming home in just a day or two. Hopefully," Dean told Sam.  
Sam smiled. "That's awesome!"

Dean grinned and nodded. "Yeah, it is. You ready to go?"  
"More than ready," Sam replied, grabbing his crutches.

Dean waited, then walked with Sam towards the exit. "Dany misses you. Been screaming for you to come back."  
Sam chuckled. "I miss her too. She's going to be all over me when we get back, huh?"

"Yeah. She's been following me around all the time these past days. She'll be way worse with you, probably."  
Sam chuckled. "I bet. And I'm betting Pirate misses Cas, huh?"

"Lays curled up by his pillow every night and searches for him, so yeah... She does." Dean smiled lopsidedly. "Wanna sit in the back or the front?"  
"Back would probably be better," Sam replied, making his way out to the Impala. "You gonna visit Cas while we're here?"

"I had been thinking about driving you home, then come back... But would you be okay with waiting?" Dean held the backseat door open for Sam when they reached the Impala.  
"Yeah, I can wait." Sam replied. "Go see him, you'll be antsy until you do."

Dean bit his lip. "... Yeah, okay. I'll see you later," he said and closed the door, then went off to see Castiel.  
Meg looked up when Dean came in. "Hey there, you mind waiting for a few? Clarence is with the doc."

"Oh... Erh, well, no. I can wait," Dean said.  
She nodded, and went back to her paperwork. After about five minutes, she looked up. "Winchester, you're good." she nodded at him, before getting up to lead him to Castiel's room.  
Castiel looked tired, but his eyes weren't clouded anymore.

"Hey, Cas," Dean greeted his husband. "How are you?"  
Castiel looked up. "Hello, Dean." he murmured. "I'm tired, but I'm okay. How about you? And Sam?"

"I'm good, and Sam's going home with me today," Dean said.  
Castiel smiled. "That's great." he murmured. "The doctor says I should be released tomorrow, but to take it easy. And my therapist visits have increased to three times a week for now."

"All right. Well, when you're not with your therapist, I know there's a cat at home who'll love to cuddle while you take it easy," Dean smiled.  
Castiel smiled. "How are they doing?" he asked.

"They're good. They want even more attention now, though. I haven't been able to go to the bathroom alone..." Dean chuckled.  
Castiel chuckled. "They're attention seekers, for sure. We spoil them."

"Yeah. I think they're both getting a bit chunky, too." Dean grinned. "Lazy cats."  
Castiel chuckled, and opened his arms, wanting to hug Dean. "But they're our lazy cats."

Dean moved closer to hug Castiel. "Yeah, that is true," he murmured.

Castiel relaxed when he was in Dean's arms, pressing a kiss to his collarbone.

"Can't wait to take you home," Dean murmured.  
"Tomorrow." Castiel promised softly.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head.  
Castiel smiled softly, and held Dean close.

Dean sighed happily and kissed Castiel's hair.

Castiel leaned up to kiss him. 'Thank you. For staying with me." he whispered.

"You don't need to thank me," Dean murmured. "I love you, Cas."  
"I love you too," Castiel murmured.  
Meg came in a few moments later. "All right lovebirds, its time for lunch." she told them.

Dean nodded. "Okay. Well, I better be going, Sam's waiting for me... I'll see you tomorrow, Cas."  
"Bye." Castiel murmured, giving Dean one last kiss before he followed Meg out.

"Bye," Dean said as he watched Castiel go, then he left and headed to the car, so he and Sam could go home.  
Sam was just Lou ing in the backseat, texting Jess. "How is he?" he asked when Dean came back.

"He's better than he was before," Dean said as he got into the car.  
"That's great! When are they releasing him?"

"Hopefully he'll be released tomorrow," Dean said, grinning widely as he started driving back home.  
"Awesome," Sam grinned. "Jess is flying out today to come here, would you mind picking her up?"

"Oh. No, I don't mind. I'll pick her up for you," Dean said.  
"She tried to come earlier, but she couldn't afford to miss the school," Sam replied. "Her plane gets in at 7pm."

"All right. Tell her I'll pick her up. What should we eat for dinner today?"  
"How about that Chinese place right down the road?" Sam suggested. "It's cheap, easy, and we'll have leftovers, so Cas won't need to worry about cooking for a little."

"Yeah, okay. Sounds good," Dean said with a nod. "I'll pick Jess up, then we'll order and you two get at least a little alone time while I get the food."  
Sam nodded. "All right," he smiled.

Dean drove them home, and helped Sam out of the car and up to get to the apartment.  
Daenerys mewled loudly, and kept jumping up on Sam, purring.

Even Pirate came over and rubbed herself against Sam's leg in greeting, then went to Dean. "Lazy little attention seekers," Dean chuckled.  
Sam laughed, an hobbled to the couch, sitting down and cuddling Daenerys. "Hey Dany, did you miss me?"   
She purred loudly and kept licking his face.

"She missed you a lot. Though I think she was a bit scared of being alone, so she didn't sleep on your bed. She slept with me and Pirate," Dean told Sam, and picked up Pirate.

Sam chuckled, and continued to pet her. She kept rubbing her face over his, clearly happy that he was home.

"So, uh... How long is Jess staying? Just want to know, cause I'll have to do some shopping after Cas gets home."  
"We were thinking at least three days," he replied. "Obviously, we'd like more time, but we don't want to put too much on you and Cas."

"Okay. Three or more days, got it. And I think it's okay if she stays longer, but Cas needs to take it easy, so... Nothing too wild can be going on around here for a while. Not that you can do a lot, but... Yeah."

Sam nodded. "Of course," he agreed. He pet Daenerys for a little, before murmuring, "And how are you, Dean?"

"I'm just fine," Dean said with a small shrug.

"Are you sure?" Sam replied. "That was absolutely terrifying."

"... Well, compared to you and Cas, I'm fine."

"Dean. You aren't telling the whole truth." Sam said quietly.

"You shouldn't worry about it, Sam, really. It's nothing. Just focus on having fun with Jess, and to get better," Dean said, eyes focused on Sam.

 

Sam eyed Dean, but he dropped the subject.

Dean looked away and petted Pirate some more, then put her down as he went for the bathroom - to she just followed him there anyway.

Later that night, Sam called out "Dean! Jess' plane just landed!"

"Huh? Oh, okay. Well, I better get going then," Dean said as he grabbed the car keys. "Stay put, don't answer the door, and call if anything happens."

"I know," Sam replied, waving from his spot on the couch.

"Good. See you later," Dean said as he left and went to pick up Jess. Pirate then decided that Sam was good enough, and cuddled with him while Dean was gone.

When Dean came back a while later with Jess, she practically dropped everything and rushed over to give Sam a big - but careful - hug.

Sam hugged her back. "Hey Jess," he murmured.

Jess pulled back just a little, so she could kiss Sam on the lips. "Hi. I missed you."

Sam kissed her back. "I missed you too," he murmured, chuckling as Daenerys squirmed her way between them.

"Hi there kitty," Jess said, smiling softly.  
Dean moved into his and Castiel's bedroom to give Jess and Sam some privacy.

Pirate followed Dean, curling up on Castiel's pillow and sniffing, mewing.

Dean petted and spoke with Pirate for a while. He missed Castiel, just like Pirate did. After having given the young couple some alone time, he went out to tell them that it was time to order done.  
Sam was cuddling with Jess on the couch. "I'm good with General Taos chicken." he replied.

"I'll go with the same," Jess said.  
"All right. Anything else I should get while I'm out?" Dean asked. Jess shook her head.

"I'm okay," Sam replied. Pirate was winding around Dean's legs, mewing loudly.

Dean picked Pirate up, and went to call and order their food. Then he made sure the cats had food. "All right, guys, I'm heading out on a walk to kill time. I'll bring the food with me."

"Okay,sounds good. Be safe." Sam replied.

"Yeah yeah. See you in a bit," Dean said, then left the apartment.

Jess looked at Sam. "... Is it just me, or is he acting a bit... Weird?"

Sam nodded. "I don't know...but this has been harsh on him. He won't talk to me, though..."

Jess rested her head on Sam's shoulder. "I'm sure he will. Just give him time..."

Sam sighed. "he never does. Cas can get him to talk, but that's it..."

"You ever asked him why?" Jess asked.

"He has it in his head that I need to be protected. He just doesn't want me to worry, I guess." He murmured.

"That could be a reason," Jess mumbled. "But I'm sure it'll be all fine... You guys always get back on your feet, sooner or later."

"yeah..." Sam sighed, kissing her temple. "thank you for coming, really."

Jess gave a small smile. "If I could, I'd come here all the time."

Sam nodded. "I love you so much, Jess. And I thought of you the entire time I was fighting him." He murmured.

Jess looked at him. "... Were you scared when you faced him?" she asked softly.

"I was," Sam admitted. "But I knew if I didn't, then Dean and Cas would be dead."

"You're so brave, Sam," Jess whispered. "Not a lot of people can manage something like that..."

Sam shrugged. "I know I can't live without either of them anymore. They both mean a lot to me, I couldn't watch them die when I could have done something about it."

Jess kissed Sam's cheek, and hugged him. "You really are amazing."

Sam hugged her back. "I try," he chuckled, pulling her into a deep kiss.

Jess smiled and kissed back. "You succeed."

Sam chuckled, and kissed her again, enjoying having her in his arms. He had missed her so much, and nothing was comprobable to having her in his arms.

Jess melted against Sam and enjoyed being so close to her boyfriend, after being without each other for so long. Everything just felt right again, despite what had happened the week before.  
Dean didn't say anything as he came back a little later to find the couple cuddling and kissing, and went to put the food in the kitchen.

Sam pulled away when he heard movement in the kitchen. "Dean?"

"Hi. Food's here if you're hungry," Dean said from the kitchen.

Sam nodded, and grabbed his crutches to start making his way to the kitchen.

"Y'know, I could've brought the food to you..." Dean said as he saw Sam, followed by Jess, enter the kitchen.  
"It's all right," Sam replied, moving to get plates for them.

Jess grabbed the cutlery and glasses, while Dean put Sam and Jess' food on two plates.

"You're going to eat too, right?" Sam said, handing Dean a. Third plate.

"... Yeah, of course," Dean said, taking the plate and putting some of his food on it.

Sam gave Dean a look, and kept an eye on him as they went to the table, pausing, as if he was waiting for something.

"... Is there something on my face or what?" Dean asked, raising a brow as he looked at Sam.  
Jess remained quiet as she took a seat.

Sam startled slightly. "oh yeah...Cas isn't here." He murmured. "I was waiting for a prayer..."

"I guess we'll just have to do with... A silent moment or something," Dean said.

Sam nodded. "I know his usual one...I can say it." He murmured.

"If you want to," Dean said.

Sam nodded. "It just feels wrong if we don't," he replied, before murmuring the prayer.

Dean listened to Sam pray, then waited for Sam and Jess to start eating, before he also started to eat.

Sam finished after a little while, smiling. "That was really good. Thanks for picking it up, Dean."

"You're welcome," Dean said, giving Sam a small smile before looking down at his plate again.

"Can you eat just a little more?" he asked softly.

Dean gave Sam a look, but didn't say anything.

"Please? You know Cas would hate to see you like this." Sam encouraged, knowing it was a low blow to bring Cas up. But he was concerned for his brother, who had barely eaten anything for days, and he guessed slept even less.

Dean clenched his jaws and glared at Sam, then glared down at his plate. He took a few more bites, but made it very clear that he didn't like it.  
Jess said nothing, as she focused on finishing her own food.

Sam just gave Dean an encouraging smile in return, before leaning over to whisper to Jess "We'll need to make an apple pie."

Jess blinked and looked at Sam, a bit puzzled.  
Dean paid them no attention, as he poked at his food for a bit before giving up on it.

Sam nodded, mouthing "I'll explain later."

Jess mouthed "Okay" at him, then turned her head to watch as Dean got up and went to clear his plate and start putting the leftover food away.

Sam frowned slightly. "Jess, would you mind giving us a moment?" he asked,

"Not at all," Jess said and got to her feet. She kissed Sam on the cheek, then went to Sam's room.

Sam looked at his brother. "Have you considered getting help?" he asked Dean softly.

"Getting help for what?" Dean asked, acting oblivious.

"You know...mental health wise." he murmured. "There's no shame in it."

"I'm fine, Sam," Dean insisted as he cleared Sam and Jess' plates too.  
"I know you better than that, Dean." he replied.

Dean was quiet for a long moment. "... I'm physically fine, and that's good enough for me."  
Sam sighed. "Dean, please, at least consider it. You see how it eats at Cas, and he has help. I don't even want to think about what it'll do to you if you don't."

"I've already got help," Dean muttered, not wanting to admit it, but he did want the conversation to be over.

"So you're seeing someone?" Sam asked.

"No. They forced me to do tests so I got some pills and a few names." Dean didn't look at Sam.

Sam nodded. "You should let Cas and I know, just in case of emergencies." he reminded gently. "I'm not saying right now, but you should."

Dean huffed. "You two have enough to worry about as it is," he mumbled. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm done with this discussion and I need a shower." He looked at Sam, then headed to the bathroom.

"Dean-" Sam sighed as he was cut off, shaking his head.

Dean ignored it, and went to take a good shower.  
Sam made his way to his room, sighing. "I have the most stubborn older brother,"

"I'm guessing he didn't want to talk?" Jess asked.  
"Not at all," he sighed, sitting on the bed.

Jess kissed Sam's cheek. "He'll open up to you some day."  
Sam just sighed. "He's just so emotionally constipated."

"Oh? What do you mean by that?"  
"He never likes to discuss emotions. His wedding was the only time I've seen him open up so fully."

Jess frowned. "Really? Wow... That's... Odd. I can't imagine not talking about feelings and such."  
"I know. He'll talk to Cas, but even then, Cas has to coax him." Sam sighed.

Jess rested her head on Sam's shoulder. "That's sad... Also, why make an apple pie?"  
"Cause it's Dean's favourite, so it may cheer him up a little."

Jess smiled. "That's true."  
Sam sighed. "Well, Cas is coming home tomorrow, so hopefully Dean will be okay."

Jess held Sam's hand. "He will, sooner or later."  
Sam nodded. "For now, let's go to sleep. We've both had very long days."

"Yes... Sleep does sound good." Jess kissed Sam's cheek.  
Sam kissed her back, and they got ready for bed, Daenerys joining them soon after.


	37. Chapter 37

The next morning, before Sam and Jess had even gotten up, Dean was already awake and fully dressed. He spent most of the morning watching tv and drinking coffee as well as petting Pirate, before he headed to the hospital to see Castiel and get to know if he would be coming home.  
Meg greeted him with a smile when he entered the ward. "Hey there. Your little ball of sunshine is in his discharge meeting, he'll be out soon,"

Dean relaxed a bit and smiled as he nodded. "All right, thanks," he said, and went to sit down while he waited.  
It took about half an hour before Castiel was let out, and he smiled largely at Dean. "I get to go home," he grinned.

Dean got up and pulled Castiel into a big hug. "That's awesome," he said, smiling.  
Castiel hugged him back. "Let me packup, and I'll be back out," he grinned.   
"Yep, I have paperwork for you to song, Winchester," Meg told him.

"Okay." Dean kissed Castiel on the cheek, before pulling back. "Man, can't wait until we get back..."  
Castiel smiled. "Me neither," he murmured, before going to his room to pack.  
Meg handed Dean the papers.

Dean looked at the papers, reading as quickly as he could, and signed them.  
Castiel came out a few minutes later, a bag over his shoulder.  
"Ckme back and visit, Clarence." Meg smiled, waving.

Dean quickly thanked Meg for taking care of his husband, then took Castiel's hand in his and left.  
Castiel smiled widely when they walked outside, and he laughed. "I get to go home."

Dean grinned and nodded. "Yeah, you do. Our little family has missed you."  
"And I've missed all of you," he murmured, happily sliding into the passenger's seat of the Impala.

Dean got in the driver's seat. "We ate chinese last night, so you won't have to cook today. There's lots of left overs."  
Castiel nodded, sliding over so he could cuddle with Dean. "Sounds great," he murmured.

Dean smiled, and started driving, looking forward to coming home.  
Castiel was smiling the entire time, and he grinned when they turned into their cmplex. 

Dean smiled as he got out of the car and went around to open the door for Castiel.  
Castiel got out of the car and smiled, giving Dean his hand as they walked up to their apartment.

Dean let them both into the apartment. "I'm back, and I got Cas with me!"  
Castiel smiled, and Pirate nearly climbed up his jeans, meowing loudly. He chuckled and picked her up. "Hi Pi," he murmured, cuddling her.  
"Welcome home!" Sam replied from the living room, grabbing his crutches so he could greet Cas at the door.  
Dean went to put Castiel's bag in their bedroom.  
"Hi Castiel!" Jess greeted from the couch.  
Castiel stopped, his brow furrowing slightly "Jess?"

"Oh- Dang. Sorry Cas, I forgot to tell you but... Jess came over yesterday. I had no clue she was coming but... Here she is," Dean explained.  
"I hope it's not a problem," Jess said.

"No, not at all, just a surprise." Castiel smiled, and went over to give her a hug.

Jess returned the hug with a big smile. "It's good to see you, Castiel."

"It's good to see you too," Castiel replied, letting go of Jess to hug Sam. "And what happened to you? Dean never said..."  
Sam shook his head. "Later, I promise. Right now, just relax."

"Yeah, the doctor said to take it easy," Dean said, looking at Castiel.

Castiel nodded, and he joined Sam and Jess on the couch.  
"Why don't we watch a movie?" Sam suggested.

"Oh, that sounds great," Jess said. "A comedy would be good?"

Sam nodded, and shifted so Jess was in his lap, and there would be room for Dean to join them on the couch.

Dean moved over to the couch and sat down beside Castiel. A moment later, Daenerys jumped up into his lap.

Castiel smiled, and pet her, Pirate still cuddling against him. "Hey Dany." he murmured.

Daenerys purred as she laid down on Dean's legs, and stretched out so one of her front paws touched Castiel's thigh. 

Castiel smiled, and shifted so his head was resting against Dean's chest.

Dean put his arm around Castiel to hold him close, and kissed the top of his head.

Castiel smiled at the affection. "I love you," he murmured, as Sam found a movie.

"Love you too, Cas," Dean murmured, more focused on his husband than the tv.

Castiel half watched the movie, and he fell asleep about halfway through.

Dean didn't move at all during the rest of the movie, not wanting to wake Castiel.

When the movie ended, Sam chuckled softly. "Need anything?" he asked, voice low as to not wake Castiel up.

"Thanks, but nah, I'm fine," Dean said quietly.

Sam nodded, and got up slowly once Jess was off his lap, letting Dean and Cas have the couch.  
Pirate was sleeping on Castiel's lap, snoring softly.

Daenerys was still on Dean's lap, also sleeping, but wasn't snoring. Though she did kick with her hindlegs every now and then.  
Dean pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's head.

Castiel stirred after a little bit, slowly opening his eyes. "Hello, Dean." he murmured softly.

"Hey," Dean replied softly. "Did you have a nice nap?"

"Yes," he murmured, shifting so he could cuddle a little better.

"Good," Dean murmured, and kissed the top of Castiel's head again.

Castiel shifted again so he could press their lips together, kissing him soft and slow.

Dean sighed happily and kissed back gently.

Castiel continued to kiss Dean, long and slow.

Dean melted into the kiss, feeling relaxed for the first time in almost a week. He pulled Castiel as close as he could.

Castiel melted as well, and he shifted, both cats waking up and jumping off as he tangled their legs together, pressing as close as he could.

Dean pressed his hands flat against Castiel's back, just wanting to feel Castiel close.

Castiel relaxed into Dean's arms, kissing him and enjoying being with him again.

Dean kissed back, but eventually he broke the kiss to breath and murmur softly, "Fuck.. I missed you..."

"I missed you too," Castiel whispered back, trying to press their bodies as close as they could manage. "I missed you so fucking much... apparently, even when I wasn't in my right mind, I was asking for you..."

"You did recognize me... You smiled and you hugged me, and sat on my lap with no problem," Dean mumbled.

Castiel smiled, and laced their fingers together on their left hands. "How could I not recognize my other half?" he whispered.

"Well... That's a good question," Dean mumbled, and nuzzled his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel smiled, and was content to just cuddle with Dean.  
Sam smiled at the sight. "See what I mean?" he murmured to Jess. "He opens up to Cas."

"He's a cuddle monster," Jess murmured back, slightly amused. "Doesn't look like he needs the pie."

Sam chuckled. "Cas coming home was the best thing for him," he murmured.

"Mmh. Sounds like someone was just a bit lonely," Jess commented.

Sam nodded. "Cmon, lets go to my room." he murmured. "Let them have some time together."

Jess smiled. "Yeah, okay," she said quietly, and went with Sam to his bedroom.

Castiel was cuddling with Dean. "So they adjusted my medication again," he murmured, and proceeded to tell Dean the new dosages, side effects, and when he should be taking them.

Dean made sure to listen carefully, so he wouldn't have to try to read the labels later on. "Okay... So which days are you seeing your therapist?"

"Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays." Castiel murmured.

"Okay," Dean said, and pressed a chaste kiss to Castiel's lips.

Castiel kissed back, and cuddled close again. "I'm sorry for all the inconvenience."he murmured after a while.

"No no, it's not, Cas... It's no trouble at all," Dean murmured, and held Castiel tight. "If it's what helps you, then I just think it's good."

Castiel nodded, and clung close. "Can we go to bed?" he asked after a little. "I just want to lay out and cuddle and touch you again."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, sure, we can do that." He very reluctantly let go of Castiel, so they could get up and move to the bedroom.

Castiel slowly got up, and they moved into the bedroom, where Castiel immediately laid out on the bed, sighing happily.

"Happy to be home in our bed?" Dean asked, slightly amused. He went over to the bed and laid down beside Castiel.

"Very much so," Castiel replied, immediately going to cuddle with Dean again, pressing their bodies back together.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. "It's good to have you back," he murmured.

"It's good to be back," he murmured, kissing Dean hungrily now.

Dean made a soft noise and deepened the kiss.

Castiel parted his lips, coaxing Dean's tongue into his mouth.

Dean slipped his tongue into Castiel's mouth, tasting his husband.

Castiel let out a soft noise, submitting to Dean as they kissed.

Dean carefully rolled them over, and started running his hands up and down Castiel's sides.

Castiel spread his legs so Dean could fit between them, and moaned softly. "I missed you." he whispered. "I missed you so much."

Dean reached down to rub Castiel's thighs, and started kissing at Castiel's jaw. "I missed you too," he murmured.

Castiel shivered under Dean's touches, his hands dipping underneath Dean's shirt to feel the bare skin of his back.

Dean kissed and nipped at Castiel's neck, but wasn't in any hurry. He took his time sucking marks into the skin, enjoying being so close to Castiel again.

Castiel let out soft noises, melting in his husband's arms.

Dean slipped his hands under Castiel's shirt to feel his skin. "You'd think it had been months, not days, that we've been apart," he murmured.

"Feels like it," Castiel whispered, leaning up to catch Dean's lips in his own. "We haven't spent more than a day apart since we got together." he whispered.

"True. We've always been together, more or less," Dean said softly, and kissed Castiel again. "I love you."

"I love you too," Castiel whispered, kissing Dean again.

Dean pushed Castiel's shirt up, then pulled away so he could take it off.

Castiel gladly shed his shirt, and reached up so Dean was topless as well.

Dean ran his hands over Castiel's torso, slowly exploring every inch of his skin.

Castiel looked up at Dean with loving eyes, shivering under Dean's gentle touches. "I love you," he whispered. "I love you more than anything."

Dean kissed Castiel sweetly on the lips. "I love you too. You're my everything."

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean again, bringing their torsos to touch.

Dean rubbed Castiel's hips with his thumbs, and deepened the kiss.

Castiel shifted slightly, a little embarrassed that he wasn't getting hard; a side effect, he supposed, of the change in medication.

Dean had gotten a bit hard, but when he noticed he was the only one, his touches turned lighter.

"I'm sorry," Castiel whispered.

"It's fine, Cas," Dean murmured.

Castiel sighed softly. "I want to, don't get me wrong, but my body doesn't."

"... And I told you, it's fine," Dean said, looking at his husband.

Castiel nodded. "I still want to touch you," he murmured.

"... Are you talking sexually, or just generally?" Dean asked.

"Both?" Castiel replied. "If you want me to."

"I'm fine with just cuddling," Dean said, and kissed the tip of Castiel's nose.

Castiel smiled softly, his fingers dancing over Dean's torso.

Dean pressed his forehead against Castiel's, the tips of their noses touching.

Castiel smiled up at Dean. "I love you," he whispered, kissing him again.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, and kissed back.

Castiel just continued kissing and touching Dean, until his eyes started closing, tired.

"You wanna take another nap?" Dean asked softly when he noticed Castiel's tiredness.

"Yeah..." Castiel whispered.

Dean kissed Castiel softly. "Then sleep. I'll be here," he said, and rolled over so that Castiel was on top of him instead.

Castiel nuzzled into Dean's chest, falling asleep.

Dean remained completely still as he stared up at the ceiling, listening to Castiel breathe as he thought about everything that had happened the past week.

Castiel woke in the middle of the night with a pained cry, curling up against Dean, shaking from the dream he had.

Dean had been asleep, and almost panicked when he was woken up by Castiel's cry. Wide awake, he turned his focus to Castiel. "... Cas?"

Castiel whimpered, burying his face into Dean's chest.

"Hey... It's okay, you're safe," Dean murmured, and wrapped his arms around Castiel.

Castiel whimpered. "Nightmare." he whispered. "You...you killed yourself..." he sobbed.

Dean tensed up, and he gently rubbed Castiel's back. "H-hey now, I'd never do that..."

Castiel sobbed, holding tightly onto Dean, not wanting to let him go.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head, and was at loss for words, so he did his best to comfort his husband with gentle touches and kisses.

Castiel was solving into Dean's chest. "Dean..." he whimpered, clearly so frightening just by the idea of losing Dean.

"I'm here, I'm not leaving you... I promise," Dean whispered softly, when he finally found the words. "It was only a bad dream..."

Castiel nodded softly, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry, so sorry." he whimpered.

"It's not your fault, honey... You don't have to apologize," Dean said, kissing Castiel's hair.

Castiel just held him close. "I would never wish this on you...ever."

"... Wish what on me?" Dean asked carefully.

"This. This fuckery that is my disease."

Dean was quiet, not really knowing what to say.

Castiel cried for a little bit more before he started to calm down, his breathing finally evening out.

Dean held Castiel close the whole time. "Get some more sleep," he murmured.

"You won't go?" he asked softly.

"I promise," Dean said. "I'll be right here when you wake up."

Castiel nodded, and fell asleep some time later.

Dean remained awake for the rest of the night, unable to go to sleep.


	38. Chapter 38

Castiel woke the next morning, and he nuzzled back into Dean's chest.

"Hey," Dean mumbled when he noticed that Castiel was awake.

"Hi," Castiel murmured quietly.

Dean kissed Castiel's hair. "Slept well?"

"Better than I did at the hospital," he admitted.

"Sleeping at home is the best place to sleep," Dean murmured.

"Indeed," Castiel murmured. "Sorry again, about waking you up..."

"Nah, it's fine. I'll get my revenge when we have kids," Dean joked, smiling slightly. "No, but seriously... It really is okay, I don't mind."

Castiel chuckled. "Would you want to adopt very young? Or a little older?" he asked.

"I don't know... I'd take what we get, I suppose," Dean said. "... Though... I guess a little one wouldn't be bad..."

Castiel chucked. "How little?"

"... I don't know. Just... Little. If some lady has a baby but doesn't want it, I'd be willing to take it home the next day. If it's a one year old or something... I'd also take it home. Though, age doesn't matter that much... If there's a kid who's ten and needs a home... Well, if we like each other, sign me up." 

Castiel nodded. "I agree." he murmured. "Although I kind of want a baby...so we have the full experience, you know?"

"Yeah... A drooling little poop machine that wakes you up several times a night..." Dean chuckled.

Castiel chuckled. "But apparently, you can't experience anything better than a baby learning about the world, or a child's laugh."

Dean smiled. "So they say, but I think your laughter is pretty amazing. It'll be hard to beat that. Guess we'll just have to get a baby and find out..."

Castiel chuckled, and nuzzled Dean's face sweetly. "Once I graduate, and have a stable job." he murmured.

"Yeah," Dean chuckled, and cuddled Castiel. "Damn... I've missed waking up with you."

"Me too," Castiel murmured, cuddling close again.

Dean kissed Castiel's forehead.

Castiel smiled softly, and then his stomach growled quite loudly. He hadn't eaten since a small meal at the hospital the previous day.

Dean chuckled softly. "I think it's time to get someone something to eat," he said. "I'll make you something."  
Castiel smiled softly. "Thanks." he murmured.

"I'll bring it to you, so you won't have to get out of bed... Unless you want to." Dean smiled, and kissed Castiel before pulling away and getting out of bed, looking slightly unsteady before he found his balance.

Castiel just curled up under the covers, watching Dean get out. "You're the best husband ever," he murmured.

"I do my best," Dean said as he pulled on a t-shirt and sweatpants, and gave Castiel a smile before going to the kitchen.  
Pirate greeted Dean by meowing loudly, and he had to feed her before getting started on Castiel's breakfast.  
Daenerys emerged from Sam's room the moment she heard food, and started to eat happily as well.

When Dean was making the omelette for Castiel and waiting for the coffee to finish brewing, he noticed that he felt a little dizzy. He blamed it on the lack of sleep, and when the omelette was done, he poured two cups of coffee - one black, one sweet - and then brought everything to their bedroom.  
Castiel sat up in bed once Dean came in, and he gave his husband a soft smile. "Thank you," he murmured, taking the plate and his coffee.

"You're welcome," Dean said, smiling as he sat down on the bed with his own coffee in hand.  
Castiel leaned into Dean, praying softly before he started to eat.

Dean quietly sipped his coffee while Castiel ate, enjoying just being with Castiel.  
Castiel finished eating and started sipping at his coffee, enjoying the quiet moment.

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek. "I love you."  
"I love you too," Castiel murmured. "So...what did happen to Sam?" he asked.

"... Got shot in the leg. He was lucky, and there will only be a scar left. No limp, nothing. Well... It'll heal well if he takes it easy."  
Castiel bit his lip, and nodded slowly. "I...god." he whispered.

"So, yeah... Consider me your maid until you're both in better shape," Dean chuckled.  
Castiel nodded. "God... Sam is so brave," he whispered.

Dean nodded. "He always have been... I'm both angry and proud at what he did... Good thing it ended well."

Castiel nodded in agreement. "He's going to be one hell of a man." he murmured.

"Yeah... He kinda reminds me of dad a bit. Before the alcohol..." Dean swallowed thickly. "Dad was the best dad ever. Would've thrown himself in front of a bus for his family. Worked hard, was incredibly intelligent... He could've been a businessman. He was amazing... And so is Sam. Sam is even more amazing," he mumbled.

Castiel set his plate and mug down so he could hug Dean. "I wish I could have met that side of your father," he murmured softly, nuzzling into Dean's neck.

"Me too... I mean, he was a workaholic before he switched it out with alcoholic, so he wasn't around that much but... Yeah." Dean sipped his coffee, and wrapped an arm around Castiel.

Castiel relaxed against Dean. "I also wish I could have met your mother," he murmured.

"I wish I could have met your mother, and that your dad wasn't such a... Pussy." Dean pursed his lips.  
Castiel huffed a soft laugh. "I still can't believe I punched him." he murmured.

"His face was all black and blue and stuff after that," Dean chuckled. "And he never told anyone."  
Castiel snorted. "I wish you could have gotten a picture." he replied.

"Nah. I only want pictures of you on my phone," Dean said, smiling.  
Castiel blushed, but he smiled and kissed Dean's cheek.

Dean turned his head to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel smiled softly into the kiss, and kissed Dean back. "I love you. So much...it...it means more than anything that you've stayed with me, through all of this."

"Believe it or not, but I need you, Cas... Don't know what I'd do without you," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded, lacing their fingers together. "I need you too..." he whispered softly.

Dean gently squeezed Castiel's hand, and kissed him again.

Castiel kissed back. "Can I paint you, today?" he asked softly.

"Oh, yeah... Sure, if you really want to," Dean murmured.

Castiel smiled. "I'd like to do a bust." he replied.

"All right. Wanna do it now or later?" Dean asked, smiling.

"Mm, little later. I'm comfortable now." Castiel chuckled, cuddling close.

Dean nodded. "All right. Let's just cuddle for now," he murmured.

Castiel hummed in agreement, and cuddled close. "I missed you. A lot." he murmured.

"I missed you too, Cas," Dean said softly, holding Castiel close.

Castiel smiled softly, and relaxed. After a little while, he murmured. "We should probably get up..."

"Yeah, we probably should," Dean mumbled.

Castiel slowly got off of Dean, and stood, stretching out.

Dean got off the bed and rolled his shoulders. "Mmh... I think I'm gonna get some more coffee," he murmured.

Castiel nodded, and went into the bathroom to take a quick shower.

Dean took the dishes with him to the kitchen, and poured himself some more coffee, before making himself comfortable on the couch.  
Sam made his way out a few moments later, on his crutches. "Morning," he greeted Dean, his hair mussed.

"Mornin'," Dean greeted back. "Did you sleep well?" he asked.

"Very well," Sam grinned, winking.

Dean wrinkled his nose, but chuckled anyway. "Awesome."

Sam chuckled. "And we were still able to stay quieter than you and Cas," he commented.

"Good for you, I guess," Dean mumbled, and sipped his coffee.

Sam chuckled and got some coffee for himself, and made a cup for Jess.

Daenerys mewed as she saw Sam in the kitchen, and started following him around.

Sam smiled, and picked her up. "Hey Dany," he grinned, petting her head.

The cat purred loudly and rubbed her head against Sam's hand, loving the attention. Jess came wandering into the kitchen after a moment, yawning softly.

Sam smiled at her. "Hey Jess," he grinned, kissing her, and holding Daenerys out to sniff Jess.

"Hi Sam," Jess replied, smiling as she returned the kiss, then turned to Daenerys. "Hi kitty," she said softly, and gently petted Daenerys. 

Pirate joined them in the kitchen, rubbing herself against Jess' legs, purring.

Jess giggled, and picked up Pirate. "They are both so cute," she said.

Sam chuckled. "Dean and Cas surprised me with them. I came home one day after school to two little bundles of purring fur,"

"Aww, really? That's so sweet," Jess said as she cuddled Pirate. "They are so cuddly, too!"  
Sam chuckled. "Cas spends a lot of time with them, and Dean and I do as well." he murmured.

"Such lucky ladies... Get all the cuddles and kisses they want from not one, but three handsome guys," Jess grinned.  
Sam chuckled. "Say what you want about Cas, but I can't agree with the part about Dean," he said teasingly, loud enough for his brother to hear.

"Fuck off," Dean called out from the living room.  
Jess giggled and shook her head. "Boys..."  
Sam just laughed.  
Castiel came out a few moments later. "Good morning, everyone." he smiled.

"Morning Castiel," Jess said, smiling. "Did you sleep well?"  
"Better than I have in a while," he replied, going to fix himself another cup of coffee.

"That's good to hear," Jess said, and put Pirate down on the floor.  
Pirate went to Castiel, purring and meowing.  
Castiel smiled and picked her up. "Attention seeker," he said fondly, kissing her head.

Jess smiled at the sight.  
Dean got up, and joined the other's in the kitchen. He kissed Castiel on the cheek.  
Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean back. Pirate purred and licked Dean's jaw.

Dean smiled, and gently petted Pirate on the head.  
Castiel smiled and kissed Dean again.  
Sam chuckled and put an arm around Jess' waist. "What do you say we go to the park?" he suggested.

Jess smiled and leaned slightly against Sam.  
Dean looked at Sam, then looked at Castiel. "I guess... It wouldn't be bad. What do you think, Cas?"  
"Some fresh air would be nice," Castiel murmured in agreement.

"Great!" Jess gave them a big smile.  
Dean returned the smile with a small one of his own.  
Sam chuckled. "Well, I'm going to get decent then." He started hobbling back to his bedroom.

"Me too," Jess said, looking a bit worried as she followed Sam to his room.  
Dean yawned and rubbed his eyes.  
Castiel leaned over to kiss Dean's cheek. "Did you sleep all right?" he asked softly. "After I..."

"Yeah, yeah... Sure did," Dean mumbled. "Slept great."  
Castiel's brow furrowed slightly. "All right..." he murmured.

Dean nodded, then smiled lightly. "All right. Let's get ready to go out," he said, giving Castiel a kiss on the cheek before heading to the bathroom.  
Castiel's eyes followed Dean, not believing him. He went to get better dressed for heading out.

Dean also got ready, and then waited for Sam and Jess to finish too.  
Sam came out a few minutes later. "Ready."

Jess came out after Sam, dressed and with a little make up on.  
Dean nodded, and then they all headed out.  
Castiel slid into the passenger's seat as Sam made his way into the backseat, shifting so his crutches were over his lap. He still had another few days on them.

Jess got into the backseat with Sam, while Dean got into the driver's seat. He made sure that everyone was settled, before he started driving.  
Castile smiled softly, and cuddled against his husband.

Dean smiled and placed his hand on Castiel's thigh. 

Castile smiled happily, relaxing, finally feeling at peace and at home.

Dean drove them all to the park, his hand never leaving his husband's thigh.

When they got there, Sam, carefully got out, looking for a good place for him and Jess to just sit and relax.

Jess smiled as she went with Sam, as they found an empty bench where they could sit.  
Dean got out with Castiel, and reached out to hold Castiel's hand, lacing their fingers together.

Castiel smiled and squeezed Dean's hand gently, and they started slowly walking around the paths. 

Dean took a deep breath of the fresh air. "Coming here really wasn't a bad idea," he murmured.

Castiel nodded, taking a deep breath as well and letting it out. "It feels so nice." He murmured.

"It really is," Dean agreed, putting his free hand in his pocket.

Castile smiled, looking up at the sky. "Do you ever wonder what else is out there?" He asked softly.

Dean looked up too, then shrugged slightly. "It happens, but not often. I guess it would be cool if we found another planet that could support life."

"In the eyes of the universe, we are just a small atom." He murmured. "We can't be the only ones out there. And honestly, that thought reminds me that there is a huge possibility that God is really there." He murmured.

"... That's pretty terrifying, to be honest. 'Cause we don't know how big the universe is. We don't know if there's anything out there. We might as well actually be the only ones, and some day... The sun's gonna die and there'll be nothing left," Dean said. "And if God does exist, well damn. There are a few questions I'd like to ask him... She... It."

Castiel chuckled. "As cliche as it is, He works in mysterious ways. But I thank him everyday for bringing you into my life." He gave his husband a tender smile.

Dean smiled softly, and gently squeezed Castiel's hand. "Yeah," he murmured, and leaned closer to give Castiel a chaste kiss on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, and leaned into Dean a little. When they came up to a little lake, Castiel smiled at the ducks splashing around.

Dean looked at the ducks too, but had to bring his free hand up to try to stifle a yawn.

Castiel glanced at his husband, a little worried. "You should take a nap when we get home." He murmured.

"I'm fine, Cas," Dean insisted as he rubbed his eyes. "Don't worry about it."

"I know you better than that, Dean." Castiel replied.

Dean sighed. "First Sam, now you..." he mumbled, shoulders raising a bit.

"We just worry because we care, Dean." He murmured.

"You two have enough to worry about as it is," Dean huffed. "I'm fine. I'm just tired."  
"All right..." Castiel replied, clearly unconvinced.

Dean didn't say anything else, and showed his hand back into his pocket.

Castiel dropped the subject, and they enjoyed a rather nice day at the park.


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING
> 
> Panic attacks, hiding medication from a loved one

A few weeks later, Castiel was busy cleaning the apartment while Dean was at work. He was humming to himself as he pulled through a pile of dirty clothes to do the laundry, when two bottles of pills tumbled out of one of Dean's jackets.  
Castiel frowned, picking them up and running through his mental category of the meds he was taking, and where they were. And then he noticed the prescription was made out to Dean. And the medication.  
100 milligrams of Zoloft. And a lighter dose of the medication he himself took for PTSD.  
Castiel frowned deeply. He had taken Zoloft when he had been first diagnosed with depression, as it was common to prescribe that medication.   
He sat down then, his legs unable to hold him up any longer. It was one of his worst fears coming true, and he ended up going straight into a panic attack.

Dean had done everything in his might to hide the medication from Castiel and Sam, even though Sam already knew about it, he still didn't want anyone to see. During the weeks, he'd also done his best to fix his eating and sleeping problems for Castiel's sake, even if it some times ended up making him feel sick and that he kept waking up during the nights. Though he just put on a brave face and dealt with it, alone.  
When Dean got home that day after a long day of work, he wanted nothing more than to get in the shower, get some food and then go to bed. "I'm home," he called out as he stepped inside.

Castiel didn't reply. He was still curled up in the bedroom, trying to breathe. The medication was in his hand, and he couldnt stop looking at it.

Dean waited for a reply, and was surprised when none came. Sam was with his friends, but Castiel's shoes were there. Castiel always greeted him. "Cas?" he called out, a bit softer, in case Castiel was napping. He took off his jacket and shoes and went to the bedroom, and blinked as he saw his husband. "Castiel? ... What are you doing on the floor?"

Castiel's head snapped up at Dean, his face terrified. "Why didn't you tell me?" he sobbed.

Dean stared at Castiel. "What are you talking about?" he asked, then his eyes fell on the medication in Castiel's hand, and the color drained from his face. "... Oh shit."

"Why?" Castiel demanded again. "Why didn't you tell me? I...fuck, Dean." he cried. "If you had had a bad reaction, I wouldn't have known, I...fuck." he curled up again, clearly upset. "Why don't you trust me?"

Dean ran a hand through his hair, and took a deep breath. "Cas, it's... I do trust you, it's just... It's not that serious, and I didn't want you to worry about it."

"It's fucking serious!" Castiel yelled. "That's what I started with, Dean! And how do you think it feels to find out that one of your worst fucking fears is coming true! I prayed and prayed that you would never have to experience this hell! And you don't even trust me enough to let me try to help you. How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?"

Dean flinched, and clenched his jaws. "I do trust you! I didn't tell you because I don't trust you, I didn't tell you because you got enough shit to deal with, without adding this damned mess. I never meant to hurt your feelings, but I sure as hell didn't want you to start worrying yourself to death either."

Castiel was shaking, and he just shook his head. "What else then?" he asked. "What else have you been keeping from me because you think I can't handle it?" his voice was barbed, tone harsh.

Dean pressed his lips tightly together, and stared at Castiel. "... Nothing that you should be worrying about."

Castiel just shook his head and threw the pills into the wall, clearly angry and shaken. "I'm going to Charlie's tonight."he said, voice low.

Dean's jaw went slack, and he looked at where his pills now laid on the floor. "... Fine, whatever," he muttered when he got his tongue to work again.

Castiel had never felt this upset before, and he didn't look at Dean as he packed an overnight bag, cursing loudly when his hands refused to stay steady.

Dean's hands were clenched into fists, and he stomped off to the kitchen, leaving Castiel to pack.

Castiel paused when he was in the doorway to the kitchen. "I still love you Dean." he whispered, not looking at his husband. "I...I just need some time. And I...I didn't want to leave without telling you I loved you, because I regretted it last time I did that." he swallowed hard, and left the apartment, locking the door behind him.

Dean listened to each word that Castiel said, but couldn't bring himself to say anything himself. He listened to Castiel leave, and moments after the door had been locked, he sunk down to the floor and forced himself to breath deeply and calmly.

Sam came home a few hours later. "Home!" he called out, kicking off his shoes.

Dean was sitting on the couch, and stopped rubbing and scratching at his thighs when he heard Sam. He'd somehow managed to shower and change into comfortable clothes, but even with soft pants on, it itched so bad. He convinced himself that his hands were shaky because of the itchy feeling.  
"Hey Sam," he called back, voice a bit unsteady.

Sam heard it immediately. "Are you okay?" he asked, moving to the living room. "...where's Cas?" he asked softly.

"... We had a fight. He's at Charlie's place for the night. Maybe longer. I don't know."

Sam frowned, and set his bag down, going to sit next to his brother. "What happened?" he asked softly.

"He found the pills and he got mad," Dean whispered, covering his face with his hands. "I fucked up."

"You didn't tell him?" Sam's eyes widened in shock. "I...I thought...I mean, I knew you'd be reluctant to tell me, but...Cas?"

"I didn't want him to worry Sam... He always worries. All the damn time. So I thought it wouldn't matter, since it's not so serious... I just wanted him to get a fucking break for once. Instead I fuck things up!" Dean almost yelled the last part, and took a deep, shaky breath.

Sam put a steadying hand on Dean's shoulder. "It'll be okay, Dean. He's not going to be mad at you forever. But...it's in his nature to worry, Dean. That's what anxiety is. But it worries him more when you don't tell him things, especially things like that. He already thinks he's not good enough for you, and things like that are helping that case. You need to apologize to him."

"How the fuck do you apologize for something like that? He threw the damn pills at the wall. He's never gotten that mad before," Dean said quietly.

"What happened?" Sam asked. "Was he in the middle of an attack?"

"He might've been... He was crying and cursing and yelling..." Dean swallowed. "I just came home, and it was quiet... Then I found him on the floor, and asked him what he was doing and he just... Demanded to know why I didn't tell him. And I told him why... Then he yelled and I yelled and... He though I didn't trust him but I explained that I did but I didn't want him to worry since he got enough on his plate already and... He asked if there was anything else and I just... Couldn't tell him. That's when he threw the meds and said he was going, and I let him..."

"Couldn't tell him...what?" Sam asked carefully.

"... That I was diagnosed at the hospital after Gordon attacked us, and that I... I..." Dean was clearly struggling to get the words out. "I still have problems with... Y'know... Sleeping and... Eating."

Sam let out a long sigh. "You've been forcing yourself to eat and faked that you've been sleeping, haven't you?" he asked softly.

"Well I gotta eat, and even if I don't get sleep, at least I get some rest... I just... Don't want him to worry, and it's kept you off my back until now," Dean murmured.

"Because I thought that Cas was helping you," Sam replied. "But...you do see how he's taken this, right? This is something huge Dean, not that you were the one who left dirty underwear on the kitchen counter. He's your husband, there for you no matter what. I saw your wedding, Dean, I heard the vows you pledged to each other. He's never going to leave you, or judge you, especially for something like this."

"It's not the judgement or the fear of him leaving, Sam... I just don't... It scares him, and I... I'm just scared that all that worrying is going to... All that stress... I don't want him back in the hospital because of a mental breakdown, but I didn't want this either... I know I'd be pretty pissed too if I were him but... What's done is done and I just..." Dean's breath hitched.

Sam sighed. "Did he ever tell you exactly why he had that breakdown, Dean?" he asked.

"He was afraid he was going to lose either or both of us," Dean said quietly.

"He heard the gunshot, Dean. And he thought I was dead." Sam murmured quietly. "That would be enough to break any of us. And he's just afraid that he's going to lose you too. Show him he isn't."

Dean swallowed and looked down at his feet. "Okay."

Sam pat his shoulder again. "Is there anything I can do for you right now?" he asked.

"No thanks..." Dean shook his head, and slowly got up, as if there where weights trying to hold him down. "I'll be in bed," he said, and went to his and Castiel's bedroom to hide in bed.

Sam frowned, and went to his own bedroom. He hated when Dean and Castiel fought, it always brought awkward tension to the household.  
Pirate hopped in bed with Dean, mewing and nosing at his face.

"Hey, Pi," Dean murmured, and reached out to gently pet her. "Seems like you're the only one who's not unhappy with me..." He sighed, and stared longingly at Castiel's side of the bed.

About ten minutes later, Charlie sent Dean a text. "Care to explain why your husband showed up drunker than a bum on my doorstep?"

Dean had to read the texts several times before he understood what it said, and he felt like just disappearing, 'cause he was the reasons Castiel was drunk. "Had a big fight." he texted back.

"Ah. Well, I'll keep him til he sobers up, just to keep an eye on him. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, what it was about. I just can't keep him here more than one night. Dorothy and I are heading out of town day after tomorrow."

"Thanks Charlie. I owe you a big one. Make sure he gets a lot of water. Hopefully it'll lessen the hangover. A bucket close to where he ends up sleeping is good too if you want to keep the place clean. Really, again, I owe you. I'll come over or send Sam over to fetch Cas tomorrow."

"All right. Hope everything goes well between you two." Charlie replied.

"Thanks." Dean texted back, then put his phone away and curled up under the covers and buried his head in the pillow, feeling even more guilty than before.

Pirate settled down next to his face, purring and licking his cheek.

Dean felt his eyes water, and a single tear ran down his cheek as he petted Pirate again. After a couple of hours, he managed to fall asleep, exhausted.


	40. Chapter 40

He woke up suprisingly late the next morning, but was feeling more crappy than he had when he went to bed, and checked his phone for messages to see if there was anything from or about Castiel.

Charlie had sent one text.  
"He's hungover, but stable. He's calmed down a bit, wants to go home. Told him he couldn't until you came to get him, so he'll be here napping til you get here."

Dean dragged himself out of bed and went to the bathroom to take his medication, then pulled on a pair of jeans. "Sam?" he asked softly, but loud enough to hear if Sam was awake.

"Yeah?" Sam called back from the kitchen, where he was busy feeding the cats.

"Charlie sent me a text saying Cas wants to come home, so I'm gonna go get him. He got drunk last night, and he's still hungover. Just so you know," Dean said.

"All right. I'll be out of here in ten then, so you two have the house to yourselves." Sam replied.

Dean wanted to argue and say that Sam didn't have to, but he didn't. "Okay... Keep your phone on and be careful. See you later," he said, and left the apartment and headed over to Charlie's place.

Charlie answered the door when Dean arrived. "Whoa, you look like shit." she commented, giving him a hug.

"No wonder the neighbors stared," Dean joked, and returned the hug. "Did he 'cause any trouble?"

"Nope. Good call on the bucket though," Charlie chuckled.  
Castiel was asleep on the couch, deep bags under his eyes and his face paler than usual.

Dean frowned as he saw Castiel, and sighed softly. "Really... Thanks for keeping an eye on him, Charlie," he murmured. "Where's his bag?"

"He didn't have a bag," Charlie replied, brow furrowing slightly.

"But he... He packed a bag, and I saw him take it with him..." Dean turned to stare at his husband. "Fuck... I hope he didn't keep his phone and wallet in there..."

"He definitely has his phone," Charlie nodded at the coffee table, where sure enough, Castiel's phone was, with an unsent text to Dean on the screen. 

Dean didn't know if he dared to look, even if he saw his name. Though, he needed to know what it said, so he picked up Castiel's phone anyway.  
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lost my temper like I did. I don't want to lose you. I'm sorry. So sorry. Please don't do anything rash. I;m fucking drunk, like a dumbshit. I can't come home, not like this. Don't want to worry you. I love you."

Dean clenched his jaws and put the phone down, then knelt beside Castiel and gently grabbed his shoulder to shake him lightly. "Cas... Wake up..."

Castiel stirred after a few moments of shaking, groaning and burying his head into the pillow. "Charlie, stop..."

"Sorry, honey, but it's your husband," Dean murmured, bracing himself for Castiel's reaction.  
Castiel turned his head to look at Dean, blinking his eyes open. "Hello." he murmured softly.

Dean relaxed, and gently touched Castiel's cheek. "Hey. Ready to go home, Cas?"  
Castiel nodded softly. "I'm sorry." he murmured. "I said some things I shouldn't have."

"And I didn't say things, that I should've... C'mon, let's go home."  
Castiel nodded, slowly sitting up and wincing slightly. "Thank you, Charlie." he murmured.  
"Don't mention it," Charlie replied, waving her hand.

Dean held his hand out to Castiel. "Cas... Do you remember bringing a bag, here?"  
Castiel frowned slightly, thinking. "I went to the Impala... decided to drink, so I didn't drive...It might be in the Impala, I don't remember having it with me at the bar."

Dean blinked. "... Good thing you didn't drive," he murmured. "We'll go check the Impala."  
Castiel nodded, and carefully stood up. "Bye Charlie," he murmured, giving her a hug.  
"Bye Cas." she replied, hugging him back.  
Sure enough, Castiel's bag was laying in the passenger's seat of the Impala.

Dean let Castiel grab his bag, and then they both went up to the apartment. He let them both in, and after taking his shoes and jacket off, he stood there awkwardly. He didn't know what to say, or where to start.  
Castiel sat down on the couch, too hungover to stand for long. "I'm sorry." he repeated after a little while. "I lost my temper when I shouldn't have, and I said some things I shouldn't..."

"It's okay, I... I should've told you about the medication. I'm sorry," Dean said softly, looking down. "I just didn't want to add to your too big list of worries," he mumbled, and moved to sit down on the couch too.  
Castiel swallowed hard. "...you do realize, how that made me feel though, right?" he asked softly. "How it did make me feel like you didn't trust me, that I wasn't good enough to try to help you. You help me, so much. And even though I wish above everything that this didn't happen to you...I want to help you too."

Dean sighed and rubbed his thighs. "I know now, but I didn't think of it like that... I honestly never meant for it to make you feel like that," he said quietly. "And I... I just... It's hard to accept that I can't be a reliable rock for you to lean on, anymore... I don't want to need help..."  
"There's nothing shameful in it," Castiel replied. "And you are my rock." he murmured. "No matter what happens, I know I can always go to you, and you will never judge or hurt me. It's why I married you, among other reasons." Castiel looked at Dean's eyes. "I will always need you."

"I know, but I still... Don't like not being well." Dean swallowed, and looked down at his hands. "I still got more to tell you," he mumbled, thinking that it was now or never. "Do you want to hear it or should I save it for another time...?"  
"I think we should get everything out now," he murmured softly, looking at his own hands.

"Okay..." Dean took a deep breath. "I... I got diagnosed at the hospital, right after Gordon attacked us... I had no choice but accept a treatment, else they would admit me, too. I got pills and a list of therapists but I haven't talked to one. And since then I haven't really slept and... I haven't slept much at all, and... Since you got back I've forced myself, but it's really hard to... To eat. I feel like I'm gonna be sick every time."  
Castiel nodded as he listened. "I...I know you hate feeling like this. But therapy does really help." He murmured. "I'm not going to force you, you can't force it, but...I would at least try it." He moved to lean into Dean, offering a comforting touch. "I can teach you some sleep aids, if you want." he murmured. "And I can try to help you to eat as well."

"How can therapy help, when I can barely talk to my own husband?" Dean asked, frustrated and upset, his nails scraping against his jeans. "And I do hate it, and I want it to go away... I need help. I need you." He put his head in his hands. "I'm so sorry..."  
Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him close. "I'm here," he promised softly. "Whatever you need of me, I'm here. We can help each other." he cradled Dean to his chest. "I'm here...I'll always, always be here."

Dean's breath hitched, and he clung to Castiel as if his life depended on it, which it did in a way. "I love you... I'm sorry," he said, voice thick as if he was about to cry.

Castiel kissed the top of his head. "I love you too...and I forgive you." he whispered, cradling Dean close, not wanting to let go.

Dean pressed as close as he could to Castiel, and took slow, deep breaths.  
Castiel took deep breaths as well, giving Dean something to match his breathing with, as Dean did so often for him.

Dean calmed down slowly, and relaxed in Castiel's arms.  
Castiel held Dean close. "I love you so much." he murmured, stroking his cheek with his thumb. "And I don't think any less of you."

"I love you too, Cas," Dean murmured softly and leaned against Castiel. "You're the best..."  
Castiel pressed his lips into Dean's hair. "Let's lay down in bed," he suggested softly. "My head is killing me."

"No more running off getting drunk on your own. Especially not when you're upset," Dean said, and reluctantly stood up.

Castiel nodded. "I'm sorry about that, I know it was stupid..." he murmured, carefully standing up as well.

Dean nodded. "I understand why you did it though," he admitted, as he walked with Castiel to their bedroom,  
Castiel gratefully laid down on his side of the bed, smiling slightly as both cats lept up to join them.

Dean laid down on his side of the bed, and gently petted Daenerys.  
Pirate cuddled up with Castiel, and Castiel smiled softly. "I love you," he murmured, putting an arm around Dean's waist.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, and touched Castiel's cheek.  
Castiel smiled softly, and started to sing "Hey Jude."

Dean closed his eyes and let Castiel's voice comfort him.  
Castiel cuddled close, holding Dean in a comforting embrace. After a little, he switched into "Carry On My Wayward Son"

Dean breathed slowly and even, having managed to doze off to the sound of Castiel's voice.  
Castiel watched over Dean for a while, before his own punding headache put him to sleep.

Dean woke up a few hours later, but remained where he was, quietly watching his husband.  
Castiel woke up a few hours after that, stirring and blinking open blue eyes. "hi," he murmured, looking at his husband.

"Hey," Dean murmured, and caressed Castiel's cheek. "Sleep well?"

"Yes....you?" He asked softly, a hand on his husband's waist.

"I slept better during this few hours than I have for a long time," Dean admitted.

"Good," Castiel whispered, caressing Dean's side gently.

Dean moved closer, and pressed their foreheads together.

Castiel breathed out softly, and cuddled close. "I'm sorry for everything," he murmured.

"No... I'm the one at fault," Dean murmured. "You didn't do anything wrong..."

"I shouldn't have thrown your pills," he murmured. "Or run out and get drunk and make you worry..."

"Well yeah, okay... Those weren't the best decisions you've ever made but... It's all right. You're back home, you're at least physically okay, and we've talked..."

Castiel nodded softly. "Yeah..." He murmured, sighing. "I love you."

"I love you too," Dean murmured, and ran a hand over Castiel's hair.

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean's lips gently. "Is there anything I can do for you?" He asked softly.

"Uh... Can we just... Go cuddle on the couch and watch a movie or something...? Maybe drink something warm... Like hot chocolate or coffee," Dean murmured.

"All right," Castiel smiled softly. "And hot chocolate, coffee'll keep you up." He kissed the tip of Dean's nose.

Dean wrinkled his nose. "Dude, you got an awful breath right now," he protested, but did smile a little.

Castiel flushed. "Sorry," he murmured. "Go make yourself comfortable on the couch, I'll freshen up and make the hot chocolate."

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek. "It's okay, it happens to everyone," he murmured, and reluctantly moved away and slowly got out of bed.

Castiel got out of bed as well, and went to the restroom to brush his teeth before he went to make hot chocolate.

Dean grabbed a blanket and extra pillows and brought it all to the couch, making a little nest for both of them while browsing netflix for nice movie to watch.

Castiel came in a few minutes later, two mugs of hot chocolate in his hands. He handed Dean his mug before sitting down, getting comfortable.

"Thanks," Dean murmured. "Wanna watch "Flushed Away"?" he asked. "I got no clue what it's about, but it sounds and looks kinda funny."

"Why not?" Castiel murmured, cuddling close. "I haven't heard of it either."

"All right," Dean said, and pressed play. Then he put a blanket over both of them and made sure to be as close to Castiel as possible, their sides pressed together.

Castiel wrapped his free arm around his husband, holding him close as he sipped hot chocolate and watched the movie.

Dean sipped his own hot chocolate, and half way through the movie his eyelids started feeling heavy.

Castiel noticed, and set his own mug down before taking Dean's out of his hands so it wouldn't fall when he fell asleep. He shifted so they were laying down, Dean's head cradled against his chest.

Dean pressed close and wrapped his arms around Castiel with a sleepy noise. "I can hear your heart..."

Castiel smiled softly, running gentle fingers through Dean's hair. "It beats for you." He murmured.

Dean nuzzled his face against Castiel's chest, and sighed happily.

Castiel smiled as well. "Sleep, love. I'm right here." He murmured.

"Like it when you call me that..." Dean slurred tiredly, and fell asleep only a moment later, feeling safe and warm.

Castiel smiled softly. "I'll make sure to call you that more, love." He whispered. When the movie finished, he closed his eyes and went to sleep himself.

Dean woke up an hour or two later, but opted to snuffle up against his husband, rather than getting up.

Castiel stirred slight, opening his eyes. He gave Dean a. Soft, tired smile. "Hello, love." He murmured. "Sleep well?"

Dean kissed Castiel's chin. "Hey... Yeah, I did. You?" he murmured.

Castiel smiled. "I slept well as well." He smiled softly, running his fingers through Dean's hair. "Although my legs are completely asleep," he chuckled.

"Am I too heavy? Should I move?" Dean asked, still a bit tired, and not really wanting to move.

"It's fine," Castiel chuckled. "Move when you're ready." He kissed the top of Dean's head.

Dean tried to shift a bit to get some of his weight off Castiel's legs, but ended up with one of his own legs hanging off the couch. He gave up with a huff, and closed his eyes again.

Castiel chuckled. "I love you, Dean." He murmured.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean murmured, and nuzzled his cheek against Castiel's chest.

Castiel smiled, and ran his fingers through Dean's hair, humming softly. "When we're old and grey and wrinkled, I'll still be hopelessly in love with you," he whispered.

"Even if I end up half deaf and you'll have to repeat everything twice? And have to eat lots of viagra to get an erection?" Dean mumbled.  
Castiel chuckled. "Even then," he murmured. 

"Good. Cause I will still love you in return, when we're that old," Dean said.  
Castiel smiled happily, and chuckled when both Pirate and Daenerys jumped on Dean's back.

Dean smiled lightly, then let out a startled noise. "Hey, claws off the merchandise, lady," he grumbled, reaching back to nudge at one of the cats. "That ass belongs to Cas."  
Castiel chuckled as Pirate settled in on Dean's ass, purring.

"Oh for fuck's sake..." Dean sighed, but accepted his "fate" and looked at Castiel. "She gets that behavior from you."

Castiel just laughed. "She's her own cat," he replied, reaching down to pet her and gently smack the part of Dean's ass he could reach.

Dean's breath hitched, then he huffed and poked Castiel's sides. "Guess she's a pervy lady, or I got the best butt ever."   
"Definitely the best butt ever," Castiel replied.

"Mm. I hope it doesn't turn too saggy when we're old," Dean said.  
Castiel chuckled. "Regardless, it's hands down the best ass ever." 

Dean looked at him. "But my favorite ass is your ass."  
"It's too bad that my favorite is yours," Castiel teased.

"Mine looks good in jeans, but yours look gorgeous naked. Delicious, even." Dean blinked up at Castiel.

"Is that why you enjoy eating me out?" Castiel teased.

"Part of it is. But I do enjoy the way you moan and whimper when I do it..." Dean smiled. "I could do it all day if you let me. Even if my jaw might fall off..."  
Castiel chuckled, and flushed softly. "You could do everything to me all day if I let you," he teased.

Dean pouted. "If you let me, then yeah. I would. And then you wouldn't be able to walk the next day." He grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "Maybe sometime." He murmured.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, sometime," he agreed.  
Castiel ran his hand down Dean's back. "What would you like for dinner?" He asked softly.

Dean grimaced. "Do we have any soup left? It goes down easier..."  
Castiel thought. "I'm not sure...I'll check, and if we don't I'll make you some, okay?"

"Okay, thanks Cas," Dean murmured. "Let's see if I can get these cats off..." He pushed himself up carefully, and as his back straightened, the cats slipped down and they jumped off. He hissed a bit, since Daenerys had dug her claws into his back in an attempt to stay put, but in vain.

Castiel slowly sat up. "Give me a few minutes, can't walk with my legs asleep." He chuckled.

"Yeah, don't worry, I can wait," Dean said, and stretched a little.  
Castiel put a hand on Dean's thigh, rubbing it gently.

Dean blinked, and looked at Castiel.  
Castiel leaned in to kiss him.

Dean relaxed, and pressed their lips together in a gentle kiss.  
Castiel smiled into the kiss. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, and touched Castiel's cheek.  
Castiel smiled at him softly. "All right,melt me get you some soup." He murmured.

"Okay," Dean said and nodded slightly. "I'm not picky to what kind it is, as long as it's soup."

"How does chicken noodle sound?" Castiel asked.

"Sounds good," Dean said, smiling lightly.  
Castiel kissed Dean's cheek before getting up, going to the kitchen to prepare some soup

Dean leaned back on the couch, and closed his eyes, resting a bit while he waited.  
Castiel returned with two bowls of soup, handing Dean his bowl.

"Thanks," Dean mumbled and accepted the bowl.  
"You're welcome," Castiel murmured, sitting down next to Dean and praying softly.

Dean waited for Castiel to finish praying, and since everything had been said, he didn't try to fake that he had an appetite this time. He slowly brought the spoon to his mouth, but did swallow without any complaints.

Castiel ate at his normal speed, although he kept an eye on Dean. "Just two more bites, please." Castiel asked softly.

Dean sighed, but he did as Castiel requested, and took two more spoonfuls of soup.  
Castiel kissed his cheek. "You don't need to eat any more if you don't want to," he murmured.

Dean nodded and put the bowl aside, then wrapped his arm around Castiel's waist. "Thanks..."  
"Of course," Castiel murmured, kissing his cheek. "I know how hard it is."

"Mm... But it's better than being unable to talk," Dean mumbled.  
"This is true...it honestly terrified me when that happened," Castiel admitted softly.

Dean was quiet for a moment. "Yeah... And it first happened when mom died... It was the first time that Dad beat me up, too. He was mourning, he was scared and frustrated cause his son wasn't talking no matter what he did, and then he started drinking. He just snapped," he muttered.  
Castiel wrapped his arms around his husband. "You deserved nothing of how your father treated you," he murmured. "You're father was sick, sick with grief, with alcohol. It was never your fault."

Dean sighed heavily, and let himself lean against Castiel. "But I was his son... You'd think... You'd think that it meant something, but it never did... Why did we end up with such horrible dads?"  
Castiel gently ran his fingers through Dean's hair. "We were both dealt horrible hands," he murmured. "But look at us now, Dean. We're happily married, with an apartment and two cuddly kittens."

Dean nodded. "Yeah... I'm really happy I agreed to move here with you."  
Castiel kissed Dean's temple. "I would have missed you so, so badly." He murmured.

"And we might not have been married yet," Dean whispered. "We would've missed out on a lot..."  
"Yeah..." Castiel murmured. "I'm so, so glad you came."

Dean turned his head and kissed Castiel's cheek. "I love you..."

Castiel smiled. "I love you too..."

Dean smiled back softly, and just looked at Castiel.

Castiel looked back at Dean with tender eyes.

Dean leaned closer, and pressed a gentle kiss to Castiel's lips.

Castiel kissed him back sweetly.

Dean smiled a bit wider when he ended the kiss, and just looked at Castiel. "... I still kind of can't get over how blue your eyes are."

Castiel chuckled. "Can't help genetics," he murmured.

"I think you're beautiful," Dean said softly.

Castiel blushed. "I think you are," he whispered. "Your perfectly proportional face, chips of emeralds as eyes. The freckles on your face and body, the muscles and beautiful, smooth skin."

"... You're such a poet," Dean mumbled and gently poked Castiel's stomach, his cheeks pink.

Castiel kissed Dean's forehead. "I speak the truth."

"... So I don't look as bad as I did this morning?"

"You've gotten some sleep and food, so you do look better. I'm sure I still look like shit." He chuckled.

"You do have to shave, but you don't look that bad... And your breath is good again," Dean murmured.

Castiel chuckled. "I love you," he murmured.

Dean smiled, and kissed Castiel on the lips again.

Castiel kissed him back. "What else do you want to do?"

"Don't know... I feel really lazy. Maybe a bath or something would be nice."

Castiel nodded. "A bath together?"

"Yeah, together," Dean said and nodded.

"All right, let me go and start the bath running." He smiled.

Dean kissed Castiel again. "Thanks, Cas."

"Of course," he chuckled, getting up to do as he said.

Dean stayed on the couch for a few moments, just waiting, then got up and went to join Castiel.

Castiel smiled at him, and stood up, starting to strip down.

Dean also started to strip down, and shivered lightly when he was naked.

Castiel's eyes ran over his husband's body, frowning slightly. His fingers skimmed over Dean's showing ribs and hipbones.

"... What?" Dean asked as he saw the look on Castiel's face.

"...I'm sorry." He whispered. 

"Sorry for what...?"

"When I...went through my episode, and I lost all that weight, I...I didn't realize." He whispered.

Dean looked down at himself, and felt very uncomfortable. "Uh... I could take a bath later," he said, and started reaching for his clothes.

Castiel stopped Dean, and kissed him, his hand running over Dean's chest.

Dean stilled, and looked at Castiel with a confused expression.

"Come to the bath with me," he murmured. "Please."

Dean swallowed. "... Okay."

Castiel stepped in first, and helped Dean get in. Instead of being in Dean'sa rms as he normally was, Castiel opened his arms and spread his legs for Dean to settle in between

Dean was shocked, and a bit unsure, and he was very careful when he sunk down into the bath and into Castiel's arms.

 

Castiel cradled Dean close, pressing his lips into his hair.

Dean closed his eyes and chewed on his lip.

"You're beautiful," he whispered. "No matter what."

Dean didn't say anything, but slowly let himself relax against his husband.

Castiel gently ran his hands over Dean's body, massaging and rubbing the tense muscles.

Dean's muscles slowly relaxed under Castiel's touch, and he sighed softly as some of the more painful knots came undone, little by little.  
Castiel pressed gentle kisses to where he could reach, along Dean's neck and shoulders.

Dean was pliant in Castiel's arms, and let Castiel take care of him, letting out a soft noise whenever Castiel's lips pressed against a sensitive spot.

Castiel would gently suck whenever he found a sensitive spot, although never hard enough to leave a mark.

Dean reached up to gently pet Castiel's hair. "You're so good to me," he whispered softly.

"As you are to me," Castiel murmured. "I love you more than anything."

"I love you too Cas," Dean said, and touched Castiel's cheek.

Castiel leaned into the touch. "I love you," he whispered again. "And I'm here for you, no matter what, okay?"

Dean smiled a little. "Yeah, I know," he murmured.

Castiel kissed him once more, and cuddled Dean against his chest.

Dean closed his eyes again and let himself just enjoy the bath with his husband.

When the water grew cold, Castiel kissed the top of Dean's head. "We should get out," he murmured.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, we should," he murmured, hesitantly and carefully standing up and getting out of the bath.

Castiel followed him out, draining the bathtub and grabbing the fluffiest towel they owned, handing it to Dean.

Dean looked at Castiel. He stepped closer to put the towel around Castiel, then pressed a kiss to Castiel's lips.

Castiel's brow furrowed in confusion. "You get the fluffy towel." He murmured

Dean chuckled. "That means I get to do what I want with it. So suck it up, angel," he murmured, and pulled Castiel into a hug.

Castiel hugged him back. "I'm still confused, but all right." He murmured.

"I love you," Dean said, kissing Castiel's cheek.

"I love you too," Castiel murmured, holding his husband tightly.

Dean smiled, and kissed the tip of Castiel's nose when he pulled away, and grabbed another towel to wrap around himself.

Castiel dried himself off. "What do you feel like doing now?" He asked.

Dean dried himself, and shrugged at Castiel's question. "No clue."

Castiel hummed in thought. "Well, it's nine o clock, and you have work in the morning and I have class. How about I teach you one of my sleep aids, and you can try it?"

Dean thought about it, then nodded. "All right. Sounds good."

Castiel smiled softly. "Get into your most comfortable sleepwear." He told Dean. "And meet me on the bed.

"Okay." Dean nodded, and went into their bedroom to get dressed in an old, worn band t-shirt he didn't have the heart to get rid of, and sweatpants.

Castiel was only in a pair of boxers as always, and he settled in on his side. When Dean joined him, he murmured. "Get into your most comfortable sleeping position. Forget about me right now, this is about you being relaxed and comfortable."

Dean hesitated, then slowly got into bed and laid down on his stomach and wrapped his arms around the pillow, his face turned to Castiel.

Castiel gave him a smile. "Close your eyes. What is something you know, inside and out, and can recite each and every single detail of? Mine is the book of John from the bible."

Dean closed his eye, but furrowed his brows at the question. "... Uhm... I don't know?"

"How about all the parts of your Baby's engine?" Castiel suggested. "Or all the lyrics to all of Ac/DC's songs?"

"... Yeah, I... Yeah. True," Dean murmured and gave a small nod.

"All right. Take deep, even breaths. While you're breathing, start thinking of that, don't worry if you skip something, just keep going, keep reciting the list or the lyrics. All right?"

"Okay," Dean said, and started to take deep, even breaths, doing exactly what Castiel told him to.

Castiel matched his breathing with Dean's, watching over him silently.

It took a while, but Dean eventually let out a soft, sleepy sigh, and moments later he was asleep.

Castiel smiled softly, and closed his own eyes, getting comfortable on his side as he went to sleep himself.


	41. Chapter 41

Dean woke up in the morning when his alarm went off, actually feeling awake for the first time in weeks.

Castiel stirred when the alarm went off, opening his eyes and giving Dean a sleepy smile. "Good morning," he murmured.

"Morning," Dean said softly after he turned the alarm off, and leaned closer to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back. "How did you sleep?" He asked softly.

"I slept pretty good, actually," Dean admitted.

Castiel smiled. "Good...I'm glad it worked." He murmured, stretching.

Dean nodded. "Me too," he mumbled, then slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom.

Castiel stretched before getting out of bed to get dressed and ready for class.

Dean came back out after taking his medication, and got dressed for work. "Dunno when I'll be home today... We've got quite a lot going on at work."

"All right, call me when you're on your way home and I'll have a hot dinner waiting." He gave Dean a kiss.

Dean returned the kiss. "Thanks, Cas. You're the best."

Castiel smiled. "Have a good day at work."

"I'll try," Dean murmured, and hugged his husband before going to grab his keys. "See you later, Cas."

"Goodbye Dean, I love you" Castiel called out, going to put his bag together.

"Love you too," Dean said, and smiled a bit as he headed out and went to work.

Castiel went to class not much later, and later that night, he got a little worried when Dean hadn't called him by 10pm. "Everything alright?" He texted.

Dean texted back a little later. "Everything is okay. Just got caught up in something."

Castiel relaxed. "Okay, sorry I was just getting worried. I may be asleep by the time you get home."

"It's okay. Go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault. I love you," he replied. "Drive home safe, there's some pasta and garlic bread in the fridge for you."

"I love you too, and thank you. You're the best. Sleep well, sweet dreams, Cas."

Castiel smiled softly, and went to get ready for bed, yawning heavily.

Dean got home about an hour and a half later, being as quiet as possible as he entered the apartment.

Castiel was asleep, on his side facing Dean's side, his head having ended up on Dean's pillow.

Dean felt guilty, but he was too tired to eat, and just changed into some clothes to sleep in and then slipped into bed but didn't use the pillow. Instead he let his head rest right on the mattress, and let Castiel keep his pillow for the night.

Castiel woke up when the alarm went off the next morning. He shut it off quickly, and slowly got out of bed, careful not to wake Dean.

Dean was curled up and the blanket had been drawn up to his nose. He snuffled as the alarm had gone off, but continued to sleep.

Castiel smiled softly, and got ready for the day before making breakfast.

Dean continued to sleep on, exhausted from the previous day.

Castiel checked to confirm that at least this was Dean's day off, and left him to sleep in, leaving breakfast in the fridge and a note on the counter as he went to class.

Dean managed to get up eventually, while Castiel was in class, and he found the note from his husband. He grabbed himself a little bit of the breakfast and some coffee, and went to the couch to wait for Castiel to get back home.

Castiel arrived home a few hours later, paint smeared on his face and clothes. "Hello," he greeted Dean with a smile when he saw him on the couch.

"Hey, rainbow," Dean greeted back. "Sorry I was so late and that didn't get up this morning... Yesterday was crazy."

Castiel nodded. "What was going on?" He asked. "And don't apologize, it's all okay."

Dean looked down at his feet. "... I. Uh... It's kinda embarrassing."

Castiel tilted his head slightly. "You know I won't judge you," Castiel reminded him quietly.

"I know... It's just... I just never... It... I fainted," Dean sighed. "And then I came to and it just... Everything was shit after that." 

Castiel's face turned very concerned. "Do you know why?" He asked. "Is it a side effect of your meds?"

"I don't have a clue... I was well rested, so it couldn't be the lack of sleep," Dean mumbled.

Castiel frowned. "If it happens again, let me know as soon as it does. We'll need to go to the doctor's, all right?"

Dean frowned too. "... Okay," he mumbled.

Castiel went over and pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead. "I just worry," he murmured. "Can you try to eat something a little more solid today? That May have been it as well."

Dean nodded. "I'll try. I promise. I'll do anything. Just... I really, /really/ don't want to go to the doctor's..." he mumbled.

Castiel caressed his cheek gently. "I know you don't," he murmured. "Which is why I'm not insisting we go right now."

Dean looked up at Castiel. "... You're the best."  
Castiel kissed his forehead once more. "What's something heavier than soup that you think you can stomach?"

"... Sandwiches? Or maybe... A salad," Dean murmured.  
Castiel nodded. "I'll make both, eat what you can, all right?"

"Okay," Dean nodde slowly and looked at Castiel. "... Can I have a kiss?"  
Castiel smiled. "Of course," he murmured, and leaned in to press their lips together.

Dean kissed back gently, and smiled a little. "Thanks."  
"Of course," Castiel murmured, gently petting Dean's hair before he went to get cleaned up and start making food.

Dean remained on the couch and cuddled with Pirate when the cat joined him on the couch.  
Daenerys joined Dean a few moments later, sitting down on top of Pirate in Dean's lap.

Dean chuckled when Pirate huffed, but didn't do anything to get her sister off.  
Castiel returned with ham sandwiches and salads for both of them, laughing at the sight.

"I think Dany thought Pi was a pillow," Dean said.   
"I can see that," Castiel chuckled, handing Dean his food.

Dean accepted the food, and looked at it. "I'm gonna eat a salad... Good thing Sam can't see."

Castiel laughed. "I never thought I'd see the day myself," he teased, sitting down next to his husband.

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah."  
Castiel prayed softly, and began to eat his own meal, pushing a curious Daenerys away from his sandwich.

Dean poked and pushed his salad around more than he ate, but he did eat it. He also took small bites from his sandwich.

Castiel kept a careful eye on Dean. "Three more bites of your sandwich, and then you can stop."

"Okay," Dean murmured and nodded, and took three more bites of his sandwich.  
Castiel kissed Dean's cheek. "Thank you," he murmured.

"Thank you for the food," Dean murmured.  
"Of course," Castiel murmured. "Why don't we go out to the park? Just take it easy, get some fresh air. I'll drive us."

"Okay, sounds good," Dean said with a nod.  
Castiel kissed him softly. "Let's get dressed then," he murmured.

"Yeah." Dean kissed back, then helped Castiel take the dishes to the kitchen, before going to the bedroom to get dressed.

Castiel grabbed the keys to the Impala, giving Dean his hand as they started heading down to the car.

Dean hesitated a little as they reached the car, having to remind himself that he wasn't driving. So he walked around, and got into the passenger seat.  
Castiel slid into the drivers seat. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean replied, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel drove them to the park and Parker the car, getting out and inhaling deeply.

Dean got out of the car too, and stretched a little bit, before moving closer to Castiel and grabbing his hand.

Castiel laced their fingers together, smiling at Dean as they made their way into the park.

Dean smiled back lightly, and looked around a bit while they walked.

"Feels nice today," he murmured.

"It really does," Dean replied.

Castiel look eat Dean. "Is there anything you want to do?" He asked.

"I don't know... Maybe watch the ducks, or something..."

Castiel nodded, and they went to find a nice spot to sit in near the little pond.

Dean sat down beside Castiel, and looked at the ducks that were floating around.

Castiel leaned into Dean as they watched the ducks, rubbing his thigh gently.

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel's shoulders.

They spent the rest of the day in quiet company, walking and just relaxing. After a while, they went back home, Castiel making pasta for dinner, since it was lighter.

Dean did struggle a little during dinner, but ate the amount of food that Castiel wanted him to eat without complaining.

Castiel kept a close eye on Dean. "Let's got I bed," he murmured, going to clean the dishes.

"Yeah..." Dean nodded slowly, but remained at the table to let the food settle a bit more.

Castiel washed the dishes, and came back, a soft frown on his face. He was so worried about Dean, more than he'd admit.

Dean looked up when Castiel came back, and then got up from his seat. "Bedtime?"

Castiel nodded, and wrapped Dean up in a protective hug, holding him close.

Dean blinked, and wrapped his arms around Castiel in return.

Castiel sighed. "I would give anything at all to take this away from you," he whispered.

"Oh... It's okay, Cas. I'll be okay, and then you won't have to worry anymore," Dean murmured.

Castiel just hugged his husband tightly. "Just know I'm here, okay? You can tell me anything, and I will never judge you. Ever."

Dean frowned. "Hey... I mean it, Cas. I will be okay," he murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel sighed. "Still..." He murmured softly.

Dean gently rubbed Castiel's lower back. "I know you'll listen to me," he murmured.

Castiel sighed softly. "I love you so much." He whispered. "And I'm terrified shitless of losing you..."

"You won't lose me, not if I can help it," Dean said. "I love you too."

Castiel nodded, and finally let go enough of Dean so they could go to the bedroom.

Dean changed into nightwear, and then he slipped into bed.

Castiel stripped down and got into bed with Dean, curling up next to him.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close.

Castiel sighed softly, and cuddled close. "I love you so much, Dean." He repeated. "And I'm always here."

"I love you too Cas, and I know you are. And I'm thankful for that," Dean murmured.

Castiel sighed, and had a lot of trouble falling asleep that night.

Dean managed to fall asleep before Castiel, and slept rather peacefully.

Castiel laid awake for most of the night, watching over Dean.


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: Yes, Meg is Castiel's therapist. Yes, she was also his nurse when he had his breakdown. I'm bad at continuity, and I believe we were about three months away from that plot point by this.
> 
> Sorry bout that.
> 
> ~Cinder

Dean woke up when the alarm went off, and he had to get up to go to work.

Castiel sighed and buried his face into Dean's chest. "Eat at least a little something before you leave, please?" He requested quietly.

"... Okay," Dean replied, and hugged Castiel. "I'll make a sandwich or something."

Castiel nodded before letting Dean go, kissing the tip of his nose.

Dean touched Castiel's cheek before he got out of bed and changed into his working clothes, and went to the kitchen.

Castiel sighed and closed his eyes again. He was exhausted, but was thankful he didn't have class that day.

Dean ate a sandwich and left most of the crust behind, but at least it was something, he thought. After he was done, he went back to the bedroom and over to the bed, and pressed a kiss to Castiel's cheek. "See you later," he said. 

"Have a good day," Castiel murmured, burrowing under the covers as he went back to sleep.

Dean grabbed his things and went to work for the day, hoping he would get home at a decent time.

Castiel passed out, waking up in the early afternoon. He dragged himself out of bed to feed the cats and himself, checking his phone for any messages.

Dean had sent Castiel a text. "Will be home early today."  
Castiel smiled softly. "Drive home safe," he replied back.

Dean texted back. "Thank you. I love you. See you later."

"I love you too," Castiel replied, before setting the phone down and going to work on an assignment for class.

Dean came home about two hours later, a lot earlier than he usually got home. "I'm home," he called out softly as he stepped inside.

Castiel didn't reply, and the door to their bedroom was closed.

Dean paused as he saw the closed bedroom door. He wanted to knock, see if Castiel was in there, but didn't know if Castiel wanted to be left alone and would get upset if Dean disturbed him. He found himself standing there for several minutes trying to figure out what to do, then he backed away and went to the kitchen to get some water, feeling a bit stressed.

Castiel was in the bedroom, but he was masturbating. They hadn't been intimate in a couple of weeks, and Castiel had gotten pent up. He was panting softly, and as he got close he couldn't bite back a moan. He had no idea that Dean had even come home.

It was probably the first time that Dean realized how thin the walls in the apartment was, and he dropped the glass in the sink when he heard the moan. He flinched at the noise it caused, but luckily, the glass didn't break. 

When Castiel heard the glass drop, he immediately stopped. "...Dean?" He called out, voice wary.

"... Yeah, uh, hey. I'm home," he called back.

Castiel cursed, and got out of bed, trying to will his erection away as he got dressed.

Dean picked up the glass, and filled it with some water, that he then sipped on quietly. 

Castiel came out a few minutes later, cheeks pink with both embarrassment and arousal. "Welcome home..." He murmured.

Dean turned to look at Castiel, and his own cheeks turned pink at the state his husband was in. "You... You didn't have to stop," he said.

Castiel looked down, embarrassed. 

Dean chewed on his lip. "... I'm sorry. Do you... Do you need help...?"

"I...I don't want you to have to force yourself. I know your libido's been down lately, and I know why! but..." His cheeks were red.

Dean looked at his husband. "I just... I just don't feel like being touched like that, right now. But I could help you... Maybe suck you off..."

Castiel flushed red, and shook his head. "No...I'll be okay, I just don't want you to force yourself."

"But... I want to help you," Dean murmured.

Castiel bit his lip as he deliberated. "Only...only if you really want to." he whispered

Dean nodded, and put his glass down before moving over to Castiel, and pulling him into a hug.

Castiel hugged him back, nuzzling his face into Dean's chest.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head, and moved one of his hands down to Castiel's hip.

Castiel shivered, his erection aching in his pants.

Dean slowly moved his hand to the front of Castiel's pants, and cupped his erection. "I'll take care of you," he murmured.

Castiel shivered and let out a groan, pressing his hips into Dean's hand. "Bedroom..." He whispered.

Dean nodded. "Okay." He pulled away but kept one arm around Castiel, and went with him to the bedroom.

Castiel laid back on the bed once they were there, and he blushed when he realized he had left the lube on the side table.

Dean blinked as he noticed the lube. "... Were you fingering yourself?" he asked softly as he got on the bed with Castiel.

"...a little, yeah." Castiel admitted, blushing.

"Want me to finger you?" Dean asked, sitting between Castiel's legs with his hands on his husband's thighs.

"Only if you want to," he insisted. "Not if you don't feel like it."

Dean leaned over Castiel to kiss him on the lips. "All right," he murmured.

Castiel kissed back, arcing his hips up slightly, desperately seeking friction.

Dean moved one hand to Castiel's crotch, and rubbed his hand over the bulge.

Castiel whimpered, shivering at the sensation.

Dean deepened the kiss and unbuttoned Castiel's pants, then pulled down the zipper. He then pulled down both Castiel's pants and underwear.

Castiel lifted his hips to help. His erection was an angry red and purple, clearly very aroused and uncomfortable from so long without stimulation.

Dean bit his lip, feeling a little guilty. He put the clothes aside and then picked up the lube. He kissed Castiel again, then moved lower to kiss his neck.

Castiel was breathing in short gasps, arcing his head to expose his neck for his husband.

Dean kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin on Castiel's neck, while he squeezed some lube onto his fingers. While he let the lube heat up, he wrapped his other hand around Castiel's erection.

Castiel couldn't hold back a desperate cry, his hands clenching into the blankets.

Dean started sucking a mark on Castiel's neck, as he reached between Castiel's cheeks with his lubed fingers and circled his hole with them, while giving his length a gentle stroke.

Castiel had gone up to three fingers earlier, so he was already quite loose. He gave a full body shudder, obviously not going to last very long at all.

Dean pushed in one finger, and feeling how loose Castiel was, he also pushed in a second finger. He crawled backwards until his face was level with Castiel's crotch. Giving the length another stroke, he then swirled his tongue around the head before wrapping his lips around it, and started to move his fingers in and out.

Castiel was gasping and shuddering, moaning loudly. "Fuck, Dean..." He moaned, one hand moving to grasp Dean's hair gently.

Dean sucked and licked at the tip, while slowly stroking the shaft with his hand.

Castiel cried out, and it throbbed hard in Dean's mouth. "C-close..." He whimpered.

Dean lowered his mouth a bit further onto Castiel's erection, and he looked up at his husband. His fingers had stopped moving, and were gently massaging Castiel's prostate.

Castiel shuddered, and he nearly screamed as he came into Dean's mouth, a much, much heavier load than usual.

Dean tried to swallow the load, but it was just too much and too thick, and it escaped through the corner of his lips and dribbled down his chin.

Castiel fell silent as he slumped back onto the bed, having passed out from the sheer force of the orgasm.

Dean carefully pulled out his fingers and pulled away, and started coughing after he tried to breath. "Cas?" he asked in a strained voice between coughs.

Castiel didn't respond, his breathing steady and his eyes closed.

Dean made sure that Castiel was at least breathing, before he went to the bathroom clear his throat and spit in the sink, and to try to get the rest of the come out of his mouth.

Castiel came to a few moments later, letting out a slow, soft noise as he blinked his eyes open. "...Dean?" He whispered.

The bathroom door was open, and the tap in the sink was running. Dean coughed and spat in the sink again, before he washed his face, not hearing Castiel.

Castiel sat up slowly, concerned. "Dean, are you all right?" He asked, voice a little stronger.

"Huh? Oh, yeah... I'm fine. Your jizz was just a little too thick," Dean replied, voice hoarse from coughing.

Castiel flushed hard. "I'm so sorry..." He whispered, mortified.

"Dude, it's okay... It happens," Dean said, turning off the water. "Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine...I haven't come that hard since the first time we had car makeup sex."

"Glad to have helped." Dean smiled, and went back to their bed, grabbing their post-sex towel on the way.

Castiel gave Dean a tired, sated smile. "Thank you...for the help." He murmured.

"It's no problem. It's the least I could do for you," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek, then started wiping the come off Castiel's skin.

Castiel relaxed under Dean's attention, feeling quite boneless.

"Do you need a nap?" Dean asked softly.  
"Probably...I'm exhausted," he admitted, voice soft.

"Then get some rest. I need to make a few phone calls, but I'll probably join you after that..."  
"Mmkay," Castiel murmured, pulling up the blankets and cuddling under them.

"Sleep well." Dean kissed Castiel's forehead, then put the dirty towel away.  
Castiel fell asleep quickly, exhausted after such an explosive orgasm

Dean watched Castiel for a few minutes, then went to fetch the paper with therapist names and numbers that he still kept hidden, and went call them.  
The first one picked up. "Hello, this is the office of Doctor Megan Masters, How may I help you?"

Dean swallowed hard, looking down at his feet. "H-hey... I... Uh... My name's Dean... Dean Winchester. I... I think I need to see a therapist."  
"All right, may I ask why that is?"

"I... I've been diagnosed with depression and depression related anxiety... And I'm not doing very well, even if I got medication... I... I've been told that talking to someone might help," he said quietly.

"In over 90% of cases, therapy does wonders," she told him. "Can you spell your last name for me please?"

"W-i-n-c-h-e-s-t-e-r..." Dean said slowly, rubbing his thigh absentmindedly.  
"One moment..." She murmured, and the clicking of computer keys could be heard over the line. "By any chance, are you related to Castiel Winchester?"

Dean bit his lip. "... Castiel Winchester is my husband."  
"All right. In that case, it is highly recommended you try to find a different therapist. Since it isn't couples therapy you're looking for, it's very difficult for a married couple to have the same therapist. As your husband already has a committed relationship with Dr. Masters, we ask you find someone different. I can personally recommend Dr. Benjamin Lafitte. Do you have his phone number? I can get it for you"

Dean's shoulders slumped, and he went around looking for a pen. "O-okay... I understand... And no, I don't have his number..."   
"All right, let me know when you're ready." When Dean told her, she gave him the number, "Good luck, hopefully he's a better fit. He's definitely amazing from what I've heard. And you should be proud, Mr. Winchester. It takes a lot of courage to seek help."

Dean was quiet for a moment as he stared at the new number. "... Thank you for the help. Have a good day," he said and hung up. He started typing in the number to Mr Lafitte, but hesitated at the call button. His hands shook a little, and it took a long while before he managed to press call.  
"Dr. Lafitte's office, how many I help you?" Asked a younger-sounding girl with a little bit of a Louisiana twang.

Dean gripped the phone tight. "I... I... I need... My name's Dean Winchester and I... I need to start seeing a therapist..."  
"All righty then. Can you tell me some symptoms? Or if you've been diagnosed?"

"I've been diagnosed with depression and... Depression related anxiety... I'm on medication, but it does nothing..."  
"Okay. On a scale of one to ten, ten being you're on the verge of committing suicide as we speak, how badly do you feel?"

Dean glanced around nervously. "... Seven or eight," he said quietly.  
"Okay. When's the soonest that you can come in to see Dr. Lafitte?"

"I don't know... I... Some times I work really late... I think I get off early on Friday..."  
"How does Friday at 5pm sound?" She asked.

"Yeah... That... That sounds good," Dean replied.  
"All right, we'll see you then. And if you get any worse, don't hesitate to call."

"O-okay... Thank you... See you..." Dean swallowed as he ended the call. He folded the paper and put it in his pocket, then went to the bedroom to slip into bed.

Castiel was asleep. His breathing even and his face peaceful.

Dean was facing Castiel at first, then turn the other way and laid down on his stomach, and closed his eyes. Soon, he fell asleep. 

Castiel woke a few hours later, and he gently cuddled up yo his husband.

Dean woke up not long after that, and shifted slightly as he turned his head towards Castiel.

"Hey," Castiel murmured softly, a hand gently brushing Dean's arm.

"Hey," Dean whispered back, looking at his husband with half open eyes.

Castiel reached up to gently caress Dean's cheek. "How're you feeling?"

"Better now that I've gotten a nap," Dean mumbled.

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed his cheek tenderly. "Good," he murmured. "Is there anything in particular you think you can stomach for dinner?"

"Soup and a sandwich I think, but I'd rather just sleep..." Dean admitted.

"You have to eat just a little something, and then we'll go back to bed, okay?" Castiel replied softly.

Dean nodded slowly. "All right... Sounds good," he said.

Castiel kissed his forehead before getting out of bed. "You just stay here," he murmured.

Dean nodded again. "Okay Cas. Thanks." He managed to give Castiel a small smile.

Castiel returned the smile, and went to the kitchen. He returned a little later with the food, helping Dean sit up before he gave it to him.


	43. Chapter 43

Friday came much faster than Dean would have liked to hope.

Dean hadn't told either Sam or Castiel that he was getting off early from work, or that he was going to see a therapist that day. When he parked the car outside the building, he felt like he was going to throw up. He was anxious about meeting Dr Lafitte, but forced himself out of the car and walked tentatively into the building.

A teenaged girl looked up form the reception desk. "How can I help you, sir?" She asked cheerfully.

Dean internally cringed at how cheerful she was. "I... I got an appointment with Dr Lafitte at 5pm..."

She nodded. "Dean Winchester?"

"Yeah, that's me," he replied.

"All right, take a seat, it should only be a few minutes," she smiled.

"Okay, thanks," Dean mumbled, and went to take a seat in one of the chairs while he waited.

Sure enough, only a few minutes passed before the receptionist told Dean it was his turn, opening the door to the back. "First door on the left," she told him.  
In the office, sat the man that Dean and Castiel had played pool with on their honeymoon. "Well, hello brother."

Dean stared at the other man. "... Uh. Uhm. Well this is... This is awkward," he said.

"Only awkward if you make it," Benny pointed out. "Take a seat, please."

Dean clenched his jaws, and took a seat like Benny told him to.

Benny leaned back in his chair. He wasn't going to take any notes. "So, what brings you to see me? Be honest, brother, it's the only way therapy helps."

Dean looked at Benny carefully. "... People say that therapy is supposed to help, and I... Don't want my family to worry about me anymore." 

Benny nodded. "I'm not going to judge you, brother. What goes on in this office stays here, I don't breathe a word of it to anyone else. You can speak freely with me. So, what are you struggling with?" He asked. "What's been going on lately in your life?"

"... Well, uh... It all started going really down hill after someone broke into the apartment and threatened to kill me and my husband... And even my brother if he got in the way. I haven't... I haven't slept properly or eaten very well since it happened..." Dean was clearly uncomfortable with admitting it.

Benny nodded. "That kind of trauma leaves it's print. But it sounds like other things have happened before that. You can tell me now or later, whatever's more comfortable, don't worry. I'm only prying a little because it's our first meeting, officially, and I need to get an idea of why you're in here and what the best way to help your treatment would be."

Dean nervously licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah, okay... And yeah. I... I guess I've had a rather good life, compared to some people, but parts of it... Hasn't been that good. Been fucking awful, really... And I'm not really good at talking about it." 

"I'm patient," Benny replied. "You don't have to tell me what happened right now. But I would like to know how you reacted to these events. My secretary told me you said that medication wasn't working for you, so I want to try to see if we can change that, get you on some that would work better."

Dean nodded. "Okay, sounds good I guess... Well, uh... I guess my sleep has always been affected in some way... Either... Filled with nightmares, or I get little to no sleep... It has happened on two occasions that I just stopped speaking for a while. Some times my appetite has been affected but not as badly as now, and I have no... Sex drive, at all, right now. And I... I have, well... It was long ago since the last time but, it... I..." He sighed, and rubbed his thighs. 

Benny nodded. "How?"he asked. "Burning, cutting?"

Dean looked down. "Cutting. And I used to drink a lot, too..."

Benny nodded. "How long have you been clean?" he asked.

"When I stopped drinking? Damn, I don't know... Uhm... I'll just say one and a half years or something. I drink a lot of coffee instead."

Benny nodded. "And the self harm? How long have you been clean for that?"

"... About the same amount of time, but... I can't stop rubbing and some times scratching if I get uncomfortable or nervous... Never enough to bleed but... Yeah."

Benny nodded. "When do you feel the urger?" he asked. "Is it to feel, or a a comfort blanket of sorts?"

"It's been... More often lately. Very often. When I start thinking... But I try not to do it around others... And I guess it's a bit of both?"

Benny nodded. "We're going to try to tackle that first, since it's a more urgent matter. What have you tried in the past as a coping mechanism?"

"... Partying, alcohol, sex. I also used to play football, until I broke my ribs in senior year of high school..."

Benny nodded. "Well, let's think of healither coping mechanisms, shall we? Do you cut to feel the pain, sensation? Or is it for the sight of the blood?"

"No, it's the feeling... The pain. The blood is just... Well it's... It's just there. I guess there's... Been times that it's been more distracting than the pain, but it's rare." Dean rubbed his thighs slowly.

He nodded. "Next timeyou get the urge, take an ice cube and run it over your thighs until it melts." he suggested.

Dean stopped rubbing his thighs, and awkwardly laced his own hands together. "All right, I... I can try that."

"The cold tends to help a lot of people that just want the pain," Benny explained.

Dean nodded. "I see... Well, yeah... I'll try it."

Benny nodded. "How is your husband doing, by the way?"

"He's doing good right now... Or at least, doing better than I am. Which is... Really weird 'cause it's always been the other way around."

"He has mental issues as well?" Benny asked.

"Yeah... Since his early teenage years, I think... He's a lot worse off than me, but he's managing it a lot better."

Benny nodded. "If he's gone through therapy for the entire time, then he's had more of a chance to try different methods of coping."

"Yeah... He's been through therapy for years," Dean murmured.

Benny nodded. "Is there anything else you want to talk to me about? Anything at all."

Dean thought about it. "... Not that I can think of right now, no..."

"You sure? We still have half an hour, brother. Tell me about your jobm your car even, whatever you'd like."

Dean blinked in surprised, then chewed on his lip. "Well, if you say so... Uh. The car I drive was given to me by my dad... It's a black, 67 Chevy Impala. I make sure to keep her in good condition, fixing her up and such... I work as an auto mechanic, and I specialize in restoration of classical cars. It's hard work, but I... I really like it. It's hands on, and you don't have time to think about other stuff, it's just you and the car. All the parts that got to be right and the exact shapes of the metal," he said, looking more relaxed.

Benny smiled. "I have a 57 Camero," he told Dean. "So I know what you mean, brother."

Dean leaned forward a bit, clearly interested. "Really? Dude, that's really awesome." 

Benny smiled. "Yep. Was my Dad's car, he passed it on to me. Hope to pass it to my daughter."

Dean smiled a little. "Classic cars need to be taken car of... The modern ones all look the same to me. It's boring."

"I'll agree with you there." Benny smiled. "Can't beat the purr of a classic car. None of that hybrid bullshit."

Dean grinned. "It really is good to hear someone else agree with me. Usually I only get a lot of shit about pollution and then told how smart and flexible and whatever else these new... Things on wheels are."

"Same here, brother. It's not like a few extra classics are going to kill the planet." Benny replied.

"Exactly. The thing that probably will kill the planet, is the industries that make millions of cars or whatever things that look exactly the same, cause people always want new things instead of taking care of what they already got..."

"Like, fuck all the iPhones, seriously. They all look exactly alike."

"I know! It's ridiculous. It's just... Unreasonably expensive pieces of black or white plastic that has no endurance at all. It's like they break if you just look at them."

Benny nodded, and the timer went off. "Our hour's up, brother. I'll see you same time next week, then?" he asked.

"Oh... Oh, yeah, sure." Dean nodded, and slowly stood up.

Benny nodded, and shook Dean's hand. "Stay strong, brother. Remember the ice cube."

Dean gave Benny a small smile. "All right, I'll try... Thank you..."

Benny nodded, and let Dean out of the office.

Dean left the office and hurriedly left the building so he could get into his car and drive home.

Castiel was making dinner at home, a light chicken pasta and salad.

Dean relaxed when he let himself into the apartment. "I'm home," he called out.

"Welcome home!" Castiel called out. "I'm in the kitchen!"

Dean took off his shoes and headed to the kitchen. He went straight up to Castiel, and hugged him from behind.

Castiel made a surprised noise, and smiled widely. "You're in a good mood. What happened?" he asked, kissing Dean's cheek.

"Nothing, really. Just felt like hugging you," Dean murmured, and nuzzled his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel smiled, and rest his head against Dean's head, relaxing into his arms.

"How was your day?" Dean asked softly.

"Uneventful. Went to class, came home, worked on projects, started dinner. How about you?"

"I worked on cars all day. Almost done with one of them."

Castiel nodded. "What kind this time?" he asked

"A Ford Mustang. It's looking really great," Dean mumbled.

"That's great," Castiel grinned, kissing Dean's cheek. "Is that why you're in such a good mood?"

"... Yeah, " Dean said and nodded a little. "Been a good day."

Castiel smiled. "Now, as much as I love being in your arms, I need you to let go so I can finish dinner."

"Mmkay." Dean kissed Castiel's neck, and then let go of him.

Castiel smiled and finished making dinner, serving two.

"It looks and smells really good," Dean said, grabbing his plate.

Castiel smiled. "It's a little heavier than you've been eating, but not a lot more."

"Okay... Let's hope it stays down," Dean murmured and sat down at the table.

"Eat as much as you can handle," Castiel replied, praying softly before they ate.

Dean ate slowly and quietly, chewing each mouthful carefully.

Castiel kept a careful eye on Dean, but didn't ask him to take any more bites.

Dean ate as much as he dared to before he stopped, and waited for Castiel.

Castiel finished a few moments later, smiling at Dean. "You ate at least twice of what I was anticipating you eat..."

Dean blinked, and looked down at his plate, then back at Castiel. "Really?"

Castiel smiled. "You ate over half of it."

"... I... Huh. Looks like I did do that," Dean murmured, genuinely surprised.

Castiel had a proud smile on his face. "That Truck has done you wonders, he teased, taking their plates to clean up.

Dean blushed at the look on Castiel's face. "Yeah... Seems like it has," he mumbled, mostly to himself.

Castiel kissed his cheek as he went to wash the dishes.

Dean remained in his seat, and watched Castiel take care of the dishes.

Castiel returned when he was done. "What shall we do tonight?" He asked. 

"I don't know... Watch a bit of tv? Get to bed early?"

"Yes to both," Castiel chuckled, settling down by Dean's side happily.

Dean smiled a little, and put his arm around Castiel.

Castiel curled up with him, looking through Netflix for some show to watch.

Dean leaned back, and looked at the screen. "What about something fun and lighthearted...?"

"America's Funniest Home Videos?" Castiel suggested. 

"... Yes. Let's watch dumb people do stupid shit." Dean smiled a bit wider.

Castiel chuckled, and started an episode.

Dean held Castiel close, his eyes focused on the tv.

Castiel cuddled against Dean, laughing at a good majority of the videos.

Dean didn't end up laughing, but he was grinning and chuckling.

When the episode ended, Castiel sighed happily, cuddling against Dean. "That was a great episode."

"It really was," Dean murmured, and kissed the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel smiled softly. "Do you want to watch one more, or go to bed?"

"Let's watch one more, then bed," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded, starting the next episode.

Dean smiled happily as he watched the episode, feeling completely relaxed for the first time in weeks.

Castiel noticed the difference, and was so happy that Dean was feeling at least a little better. He nuzzled into Dean's chest, happy.

Dean smiled throughout the whole episode, and when it ended, he momentarily let go of Castiel to stretch his arms.

Castiel smiled, and slowly pulled away, stretching his back. "I hear a certain mattress calling," he murmured.

Dean made a soft, tired noise. "Mmmh... Yeah," he mumbled, and carefully stood up. "I can hear it too."

Castiel smiled, and went into the bedroom, stripping down before he climbed into bed.

Dean changed into his usual nightwear, before getting into bed too, settling down a little closer to Castiel than usual.

Castiel smiled, and brushed Dean's cheek gently. They had taken to sleeping apart, so Dean could get better sleep, but he missed being in his husbands arms at night,

Dean looked at his husband with a small smile. "Today's been good," he murmured.

"I'm glad," Castiel whispered, kissing Dean's lips softly.

Dean kissed back gently, and placed one of his hands on Castiel's waist.

Castiel smiled into the kiss, elated that Dean was initiating cuddling again.

Dean inched closer, but let a gap remain between them. He only felt like kissing and being close to his husband, nothing more.

Castiel didn't mind, enjoying this greatly. He kissed Dean softly, running a gentle hand through his hair.

Dean sighed contentedly into the kiss, and rubbed his thumb over Castiel's skin.  
Castiel broke the kiss after a little while to breathe, pressing their foreheads together sweetly. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, reaching up to caress Castiel's cheek.  
Castiel smiled and leaned into the touch, his eyes closing.

"... You're so beautiful," Dean whispered.  
"If I'm beautiful, then you're incredible." He whispered in return.

"What if I say you'rebeautiful and incredible...? And strong, and amazing..."  
"Then you are perfection," Castiel replied softly.

Dean blushed at that, and looked at Castiel quietly.  
Castiel opened his eyes slightly, smiling. "I win," he murmured, kissing Dean again.

"This time... I'll win for sure next time," Dean murmured and kissed back.  
Castiel smiled, and his eyes remained closed. He fell asleep quickly after that.

Dean remained awake, watching Castiel for a while, before he closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Castiel remained asleep the entire night, comforted by Dean's good day and the feeling of touching his husband and feeling life again.

Dean struggled a little, remaining asleep most of the night, but waking up every now and then.


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning
> 
> Panic attacks, not understanding mental illness when it happens.

When he woke up in the morning, he didn't feel good anymore, and it made him feel like crying.

Castiel woke the next morning, and turned to smile at his husband, although the smile quickly faded. "What's wrong?" He asked, concerned, turning to wrap his arms comfortingly around his husband.

"Nothing... I just... I just don't feel good.. Why don't I?" Dean whispered, covering his eyes. "I was good yesterday... Why didn't it last? I don't get it..."  
Castiel cradled Dean's head against his chest. "Sometimes, you just have days." He murmured. "Sometimes, you're so exhausted from having a good day you can't keep it up. It's just something you have to live with, as much as it sucks. But I'm here, I'm right here and I will never leave you. I promise."

Dean breathed shakily, not feeling very comforted, but nuzzled his face into Castiel's chest anyway as he moved closer.

Castiel cradled Dean close. "What do you need?" He asked softly. "What can I do?"

"I don't know, I don't fucking know..." Dean clung to Castiel. "I'm so sorry..."  
"Shhh...it's okay." Castiel whispered. "Just breathe with me, okay? Just breathe..." He took long, deep breaths, the same way Dean did when he tried to calm him.

Dean tried to match his breathing to Castiel's, but it remained shaky. His eyes were squeezed shut.

Castiel ran comforting fingers through Dean's hair as he breathed, whispering words of love and encouragement.

Dean finally started to gradually calm down, his breath evening out and he relaxed against Castiel's body.

Castiel held Dean close. "I'm skipping class, and you're calling into work." He murmured.

"W-what?" Dean stuttered. "Why would we...?"  
"Because you're not functional right now," Castiel murmured. "Physically, you might feel fine, but you need to take a day and recover mentally, at least a little."

Dean let out a noise of distress, and wrapped his arms tighly around Castiel.  
"Shhh...it's okay, it's okay. You haven't called out once since we've been here, it'll be fine." He kissed the top of Dean's head. "I'll call in for you, if you want."

Dean nodded and sniffled quietly, but didn't want to let go just yet.  
Castiel didn't even try to move, just holding Dean close. He started singing "Carry On My Wayward Son," softly

Dean listened to Castiel sing, and clung to him as if his life depended on it.  
When the song finished, Castiel kissed the top of his head again. "You don't have to let go of me completely, but you do have to let me go enough so I can reach your phone." He murmured. 

Dean nodded again, and loosened his hold around Castiel, to allow him to move around a bit.

Castiel shifted, grabbing Dean's phone and scrolling through the contacts until he found the number for the garage. He pressed the call button and held it to his ear.

It didn't take long until someone picked up.  
"Hey, you've called the garage on Kingstreet. This is Ed Brewer, how can I help you?"

"Hello Ed, this is Castiel Winchester, Dean's husband. May I speak to Chuck please?"

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'll ge him on the line for you. Just a moment." It went quiet on the other end as Ed went to fetch Chuck and get him on the phone.  
"Castiel?" Chuck greeted hesitantly.  
Castiel sucked in a sharp breath. "Don't." He murmured. "The only reason I am even speaking to you right now is because Dean is incapable of doing so. He's not doing well, and will not be coming into work today."  
Chuck nodded. "All right. Tell him I hope he gets better."  
Castiel just made a noncommittal sound before hanging up.

Dean listened to the conversation, or what he could hear of it anyway, and looked up at Castiel when the call was ended.  
Castiel set the phone back on the table before cuddling Dean close again. "You're good." He murmured. "We're just going to relax the entire day, all right?"

Dean nodded, and then closed his eyes again as he buried his face into Castiel's chest. "I'm sorry...."

"It's all right...Dean, you've taken care of me more times than I can count. It's /nothing/ for me to take care of you. Okay?" He whispered.

Dean sniffled again. "Okay, Cas..." he whispered back, and hugged Castiel close.  
Castiel held Dean close, pressing their bodies together. He ran gentle, comforting hands over Dean's torso, kissing where he could reach and murmuring words of love and devotion, promises that he would do anything Dean needed.

Dean gradually relaxed in his husband's arms, listening to Castiel's words and enjoying the closeness and warmth. "You're amazing..." he whispered, voice a little strained.   
Castiel smiled softly. "As are you. You're so strong, Dean. You really are. Stronger than I could hope to be. Just relax, and let me take care of anything. Tell me what you want, and I'll try my hardest to give it to you."

"I... But I'm not..." Dean started, but closed his mouth, and pressed his face into Castiel's neck. He took deep breaths, and tried to focus on Castiel and not his own thoughts.  
Castiel kissed his temple. "Just breathe for me, Dean. In and out. It's allright, everything is going to be fine..." 

Dean did as Castiel asked, breathing in and out slowly, trying to relax again.  
Castiel just cuddled with Dean, kissing the top of his head over and over.

Dean managed to relax again, but continued breathing slowly.  
Castiel hummed softly, just cuddling, not making any move to do anything but be there for Dean, hoping that he was comforting him effectively.

Dean sniffled after a while, and let out a sigh into Castiel's neck, not feeling like moving at all and being grateful that Castiel wasn't moving.  
Castiel kissed his temple gently. "I love you." he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean mumbled quietly.

Castiel continued laying with Dean, until he shifted. "Dean...I don't want to move, but I'm very close to pissing myself..." 

Dean made a face, but nodded. "Sorry," he murmured, and let go of Castiel so that his husband could go to the bathroom.

Castiel got out of bed quickly, rushing to the restroom and barely making it, letting out a relieved sigh. He returned a few minutes later, getting back into bed and bringing Dean back into his arms.

Dean snuggled back up against Castiel and put his arms around the other, but keep his hold loose compared to before.

Castiel smiled softly, and ran his fingers through Dean's hair.

Dean had his eyes closed while he let Castiel pet his hair.

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean's forehead. "I'm going to fall asleep." he warned Dean softly.

"Okay," Dean mumbled in reply, but remained completely still, pressed up against his husband.

Castiel's eyes closed, and he ended up falling back asleep a few minutes later.

Dean stayed awake, and when he was sure that Castiel was asleep, he carefully slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom.

Castiel remained asleep, his arms still open and waiting for Dean to return.

Dean relieved himself and then went back to bed and into Castiel's arms, but didn't go back to sleep.

Castiel woke a few hours later, stirring. "Dean?" he murmured softly.

Dean tensed up a little, having been rubbing and sctratching at his thighs before Castiel woke up. "Hey," he murmured.

"Hey," he murmured softly. "How long was I asleep?" 

"Just a few hours," Dean told him, and nuzzled his neck.

Castiel hummed softly. "Is there anything I can get you?" he asked softly.

Dean clenched his hands into fists. "Coffee would be great..."

"Okay," Castiel murmured, frowning slightly as he felt Dean tense. "What's wrong?" he asked softly.

"Nothing, I just... I just really need coffee," Dean said quietly.

Castiel nodded, and got out of bed to make them coffee.

Dean relaxed a little bit, and rubbed his thighs in hopes to lessen the itch.

When Castiel returned with the coffee, he happened to see Dean's thighs, rubbed raw and pink. "Fuck, Dean." he breathed out, setting the coffee down to go and retrieve the first aid kit.

Dean froze, but when Castiel came back to the bedroom, he was hiding his legs with the covers and was gripping the end of it tightly.

"Dean..." Castiel murmured. "I'm not judging you, I'm not. But we have to take care of you, okay?" he murmured.

"I'm sorry, I don't.. I know I shouldn't, but I... Cas... I'm so sorry." Dean let go of the covers to cover his face with his hands.

"Dean, look at me." Castiel murmured. "I'm not mad. I'm not. I'm worried, yes, but more worried about these becoming infected than anything."

Dean didn't look at Castiel, but he did nod, and moved his hands to carefully uncover his legs.

Castiel gently started to clean the sensitive skin. Dean had rubbed and scraped away a few layers of skin. Not enough to bleed, but enough to be susceptible to infection.

Dean looked down at his legs while Castiel took care of it. "... Cas... I... I gotta tell you something... Please don't get mad..."

"I won't," Castiel promised softly.

"I lied to you... I didn't finish working on a damn car... I... I went to... See a therapist."

Castiel was quiet for a moment, but then he smiled up at Dean. "I'm really proud of you, Dean." he murmured. "Truly, I am."

"... Why?" Dean asked, not returning the smile. "How can you be proud of me...?"

"Because you're getting help, Dean. And I know how much that frightens you, how it makes you feel weak to ask for help. So to hear that...I can't even be mad, Dean, because I am so, so proud that you're getting help."

Dean bit his lip and lowered his gaze again, then brought his hands up to cover his face, his shoulders shaking.

Castiel reached up to settle a calming hand against Dean's shoulder. "I'm proud of you," he repeated. "I'm so proud. And nothing will take that away."

Dean let out a shaky breath and sniffled, and he started rubbing and wiping at his eyes.

Castiel squeezed Dean's shoulder gently before letting go, finishing bandaging Dean's thighs.

Dean lowered his hands, to look at his leg with glassy eyes. He made a face at the bandages, but said nothing.

Castiel leaned up to give Dean a kiss on the cheek. "Put some jeans on, it'll help." he murmured.

"Okay," Dean mumbled quietly, and slowly moved out of bed to go pull on a pair of jeans.

Castiel kept an eye on him. "I'm going to make some soup," he murmured. "You need to get something into you, okay?"

"... I'm not hungry, but okay," Dean murmured, adjusting his jeans.

"I know you aren't, but just a little something." he murmured.

"Okay, all right..." Dean nodded slowly.

Castiel kissed his forehead before he went to the kitchen to fix some tomato soup.

Dean laid down on the bed on top of the covers while he waited.

Castiel returned with a small mug of soup. "Here you go," he murmured.

Dean sat up, and looked at the small mug in surprise. "... Thank you," he murmured.

Castiel smiled softly. "I know you won't eat much, but this is at least something."

"Yeah, that's true..." Dean nodded, holding the mug with both hands.

Castiel prayed softly, kissing Dean's cheek when he finished.

Dean relaxed a little bit, and blew softly on the soup before starting to eat it.

Castiel smiled proudly when Dean finished the mug. "Great job," he murmured, kissing Dean's cheek.

Dean ducked his head a little. "Really...?" he asked softly.

"Yes, really." Castiel smiled, kissing his cheek.

Dean relaxed and looked at his husband, meeting his eyes.

Castiel had love and pride shining in his eyes as he looked at his husband.

Dean felt oddly shy, and had to lower his gaze.

Castiel kissed his forehead. "Is there anything else you need?" he asked softly.

"I... Not right now... I just want to take it easy," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded. "Lay back down, I'll get the computer. We can watch Dr. Sexy."

"Okay..." Dean nodded. Then he started rearranging their pillows a bit so they could lay close together, and then laid down.

Castiel returned with his laptop, and found where the had left off, cuddling with Dean as they watched the show.

Dean was content and relaxed as he laid there with Castiel, feeling rather peaceful.

After a few hours, Castiel's stomach growled loudly. He himself hadn't eaten all day, too worried about taking care of Dean.

Dean blinked, and looked at Castiel. "... Sounds like you have a belly monster to feed," he mumbled.

"Yes...I'll be back, I'm going to make myself some food." he murmured, getting out of bed.

"Okay. I'll keep the spot warm for you," Dean said, and rolled over - mindful of the laptop - to lay on his stomach, limbs sprawled out.

Castiel chuckled, and went to heat up some leftover Chinese, bringing it back to the bedroom and settling back down on his side, praying softly before he began eating.

Dean pressed play on the laptop, and they continued to watch Dr Sexy while Castiel ate.

Castiel set the dishes on the nightstand, cuddling with Dean as they continued to watch.

A few hours later, Dean started yawning and rubbing at his eyes

Castiel closed the computer. "All right, lay down on your back. I'll help you get undressed, and then we'll go to sleep."

"I can undress myself," Dean mumbled, and tried to sit up.

Castiel gently pushed him back down onto the bed. "Bandages," he reminded his husband, before gently and carefully helping him remove his jeans.

Dean's cheeks turned pink and he frowned lightly.

Castiel tossed the jeans to the floor, and cuddled up with Dean once more, pulling the blankets over them.

Dean put his arms around Castiel to make sure he remained close, and closed his eyes.

Castiel cuddled close, closing his own eyes. "I love you, Dean." he murmured.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean murmured softly.

"Are you feeling at least a little better?" he asked softly.

"A little, yeah..." Dean nodded slightly.

"Good," he murmured, kissing Dean's forehead sweetly.

Dean hummed softly in agreement. "Yeah..."

Castiel kissed his lips sweetly. "Wake me if you need anything at all, okay?"

"Okay," Dean murmured, and opened his eyes to look at Castiel. "... Can I have another kiss?"

"Of course," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean slowly and sweetly.

Dean kissed back gently, and closed his eyes again.

Castiel smiled softly, and didn't even attempt to go to sleep until Dean was asleep in his arms.

Dean fell asleep quickly, completely relaxed in his husband's arms.

Castiel smiled, and fell asleep soon after.


	45. Chapter 45

A couple of weeks passed by, and Dean went to therapy each and every Friday, even if he felt like shit. Therapy and the adjustments in his medication seemed to work though, so he didn't want to miss a single session. He still had a bit of problem with food and he wasn't magically turned back into his old self, but he did sleep better and was able to cope better with the illness, and he smiled more and walked a little straighter. One day, he found that his libido had returned, and he planned to make good use of it and make up for the time that he'd been neglecting his husband.  
On a day when Castiel had gone to work on an art project with some friends during the day, Dean had managed to get Sam to go spend the night with friends. After Sam left, Dean started on a nice dinner for himself and Castiel, wanting to make the evening and night special. 

Castiel was working hard to help Dean cope with the illness that he had struggled with for years, being supportive and trying to do anything to make life just a little easier for Dean. After that awkwardly-ending blowjob, he had been a little more careful in keeping his masturbation sessions private. He didn't want to force Dean into thinking he needed to do something, or feeling guilty about neglecting their sex life. He knew he had done it to Dean more than a few times.  
He had made his way home after working on a mural for the school with Gabriel and Anna Milton, and he was covered in paint, but happy and tired. He let himself into the apartment, calling an "I'm home!" For Dean and Sam.

Their usually bright apartment was dimlit, as Dean had partially closed the blinds, and the smell of food had spread throughout the apartment.  
"Welcome home," Dean called back from the kitchen.

Castiel set his things down as he took off his shoes. "Smells delicious," he replied, looking around. "What's the occasion?" He asked as he made his way into the apartment.

Pirate came to greet Castiel, mewing at him and circling his feet. In the kitchen, the table had been set, and there were a few, lit candles on it too.  
"You'll see," Dean replied from the kitchen, as he was keeping a close eye on the food.

Castiel smiled, and picked Pirate up, petting her and chuckling as Daenerys came to greet him as well. "Let me go and get changed, I'm covered in paint and I get the feeling I'll regret that if I leave my clothes on."

"All right, go change. The food needs a few more minutes, so there's no need to hurry," Dean told him.

Castiel nodded, and went to change into some jeans that flattered his ass and his favorite date turtleneck, going back out to the kitchen.

Dean was just taking out a tray with roasted vegetables from the oven, and he smiled as Casitel came into the kitchen.

"This smells incredible," Castiel smiled, happy that Dean was feeling well enough to cook, and clearly put an effort into a date night for the two of them.

Dean was feeling well, and that fact that he did feel well enough to do this, made him feel even better. "Good," he said, as he put the roasted vegetables on two plates, and then he put the chicken breasts that had finished cooking, on the plates too.

Castiel smiled, and went to sit down at the table. "You made my favorite." He observed with a small smile.

"I sure did," Dean said, and poured a little bit of sauce on the side of the chicken and vegetables. Then he picked the plates up, and put them on the table.

Castiel's miles, and leaned up to kiss Dean's cheek. He waited until Dean was seated before he started to pray.

Dean waited until Castiel finished praying, and then for him to take the first bite.

Castiel smiled as he chewed. "Perfect." He murmured.

Dean smiled softly. "That's good," he murmured, and started eating too.

Castiel happily continued eating. "We haven't had a date night in a while...this is nice." He murmured softly.

"Yeah, I know... I thought it was about time," Dean murmured.

Castiel smiled, and reached across the table to hold Dean's hand.

Dean returned the smile, and held hands with Castiel.

Castiel smiled wider, and when he finished eating, brought Dean's hand to his face so he could kiss the knuckles.

Dean licked his lips, then smiled softly at Castiel. He'd finished most of his own food, and turned his focus on Castiel completely.

Castiel smiled. "So, what else do you have in mind for tonight?" He asked softly.

"Oh, not much... Thinking that maybe we could take a bath, and maybe spend some time together," Dean said, and brushed one of his feet against Castiel's ankle.

Castiel smiled happily. Dean clearly had some things in mind, and he felt himself twitch in interest already.

Dean smiled, lightly resting his foot on top of Castiel's. "Why don't you go make yourself comfortable on the couch, read a book or something, while I clean up a bit in here...?"

Castiel smiled softly. "All right. May I get a kiss first?" He asked softly.

"Of course you can," Dean murmured and stood up. Then he moved close to Castiel, and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips, but nipped gently on his bottom lip when he pulled away.

Castiel shivered, and smiled softly. "I can't wait," he whispered, standing and heading to the living room,trying to hide his wanting erection.

Dean watched Castiel go - or rather, watched his ass -, and then he started to clear the table and clean up.

Castiel sat on the couch, smiling and cuddling with the cats.

A bit later, Dean had finished cleaning up in the kitchen, and went to the living room. He smiled softly at the sight of his husband and the cats.

Castiel smiled at Dean. "Hello." He smiled.

"Hey. Having a good time?" Dean asked, standing in front of Castiel.

Castiel smiled up at Dean. "A better one, now that I see you," he purred.

Dean smiled back, and leaned down, his mouth close to Castiel's ear. "Good, 'cause our night isn't over yet..." he whispered.

Castiel shivered softly, and wrapped his arms around Dean's torso. "I'm very much looking forwards to it..." He whispered back.

Dean gently nipped at the shell of Castiel's ear. "Awesome... Then let's move to the bedroom," he murmured.

Castiel shivered, letting out a soft sound, before he stood, and followed Dean to the bedroom.

Dean smiled as he led Castiel to the bedroom, and stopped right by the bed. He looked at Castiel. "... Are you ready to burst, or can I drag things out a bit?"

"I think I can go multiple rounds tonight," Castiel murmured softly.

Dean grinned, and kissed Castiel on the lips. "Awesome," he murmured. "I want you to get on our bed, fully clothed... And then I want you to tell me about what you want us to do tonight. For each thing you list, I will take off one piece of clothing."

Castiel swallowed and nodded, getting on the bed and laying down. "For starters...I want you to kiss me. I mean really kiss me."

"Oh, I'll kiss you, don't you worry about that..." Dean said, reaching down and lifting his own feet to pull his socks off.

Castiel looked at Dean. "And I want you to touch me. My chest, my arms, to trace the sigil..."

"Like I always do when we're intimate," Dean said, pulling off his shirt only to reveal a bit more of his arms, since he also had a t-shirt on.

Castiel watched Dean. "And you would kiss down my body, as I writhe underneath you."

Dean grabbed the back of his t-shirt and pulled it off, then let it drop to the floor.

Castiel inhaled softly, his eyes tracing over Dean's body. "And you would kiss and mark the inside of my thighs, the way I love it when you do."

Dean unbuttoned his jeans and pulled down the zipper, then let the jeans fall to the floor. He stepped out of them, cheeks turning pink as his growing erection was much more visible through his briefs.

Castiel swallowed, his own bulge obvious through his jeans. "And...and you would eat me out, slowly, until I was begging for your cock..."

Dean's breath hitched at that, and he reached down to push his underwear down, until they slipped down his legs.

Castiel swallowed, his pupils blown with lust. "A-and...then you'd finger me open, nice and slow, before we made love..."

Dean licked his lips, his cock now fully erect. "Yeah... Yeah I will," he murmured and climbed onto the bed.

Castiel swallowed. "And later...you would just sit on the edge of the bed, while I kneel between your legs and start to suck you off..."

Dean straddled Castiel's hips. He ran his hands over Castiel's torso, then slipped his hands under Castiel's shirt to feel the bare skin.  
Castiel whimpered, eyes fluttering shut and his jeans damp from the copious amount of pre-come he was emitting.

Dean leaned down to kiss Castiel's cheek, then starting kissing his neck. "Jeeze, Cas... So hard and wet for me..." he murmured, his fingers brushing over Castiel's nipples.  
Castiel whimpered again, rocking his hips up to gain friction. He was so hard, having missed and craved Dean's touch.

"... You said you could go multiple rounds, yeah?" Dean murmured. "I want you to come in your pants, and then I'll worship your body until you're hard again." He murmured, and shifted so he could press his ass against Castiel's crotch.  
Castiel keened and shuddered, rocking his hips up against Dean's ass. He was so close already.

Dean shuddered at the feeling of wet jeans against his skin and the press of Cadtiel's erection. "C'mon, babe... I know you probably got a lot pent up in there. Come for me, Cas. Dirty down your clothes some more, like a good boy."  
Castiel cried out as he came into his pants, shuddering and grinding his hips against Dean's ass as he moaned loudly. 

Dean licked his lips, and touched Castiel's cheek. "That's my good boy..." he cooed.  
Castiel leaned into the touch, cheeks red and face flustered.

Dean leaned close and kissed Castiel on the lips, sweetly at first, then he deepened it.  
Castiel kissed back, his hand coming up to pull Dean in, having missed this more than he would admit.

Dean pressed his naked body against Castiel's clothed one, and nipped at Castiel's lips. He ran his hands up and down Castiel's sides.  
Castiel shivered, growing uncomfortable with his come-filled jeans and boxers. "Dean, please..." He asked softly.

"Okay..." Dean murmured and lifted himself and Castiel up a bit, to remove Castiel's shirt.  
Castiel gladly shrugged out of it, wrapping his arms back around Dean and kissing him again.

Dean kissed back, and reached down between them to unbutton and unzip Castiel's jeans.  
Castiel let out a sigh of relief as his jeans and boxers were peeled away. He was soft, come still covering his crotch.

Dean dropped Castiel's clothes onto the floor, and leaned in to kissmCastiel deeply on the lips again,  
Castiel kissed back, pressing their bodies together and moaning softly.

Dean shuddered as his erection pressed and slipped against Castiel's slick skin. He ran his hands up and down Castiel's sides again.  
Castiel broke the kiss and arced his head back, exposing his neck to Dean.

Dean immediately started kissing Castiel's neck, sweetly at first and the he started to nip and suck marks on the sensitive skin.  
Castiel let out soft noises and whimpers, submitting completely under Dean's affection.

Dean ran his hands over Castiel's torso, fingers brushing over his nipples, tracing along the sigil, then sprawling out over his stomach as if to feel as much skin as possible at the same time.

Castiel was breathing a little harder than normal, his cock starting to harden again.

Dean moved from Castiel's neck and started to kiss down his torso, and when he reached Castiel's crotch, he started to lick off some of the come and precome.   
Castiel shivered, slowly hardening again under Dean's attention.

Dean ignored Castiel's erction, and moved to Castiel's thighs. He spread them, and started to kiss and nip at the skin on the inside of his husband's thighs.  
Castiel breathed hard, letting out whimpers and moans as Dean teased him.

Dean sucked marks on both of Castiel's thighs, before he gently pushed Castiel's legs up and to his chest. "You wanted me to make you beg, yes...?" he asked, looking up at Castiel.

"Yes..." Castiel breathed out, shifting slightly in anticipation.

Dean licked his lips, and then moved lower, and he gave Castiel's entrance a slow lick.

Castiel whimpered, his hands tightening into the bed.

Dean kept licking and swirling his tongue around the hole with slow motions, sometimes just pressing his tongue against it, but not pushing inside.

Castiel was trembling, his erection twitching. "Fuck..." He panted softly.

Dean was breathing heavier, loving the sounds Castiel made. When Castiel's entrace was slick with saliva and loose enough, he pushed his tongue inside.

Castiel keened softly, tossing his head back, soft noises and whimpers spilling from his lips. "Dean...Dean, Dean Dean..." He moaned.

Dean worked his tongue in and out of Castiel and lapped at the rim. He ground his own hips down against the bed, needing some stimulation himself.

Castiel was whining softly. "Dean. Please, I-I need....I need more, please."

"What do you need...?" Dean asked, looking up at Castiel.

"I need you...I need your cock, I've missed it so much, please..."

"Good. I'll happily give it to you," Dean murmured and lowered Castiel's legs, then moved to get the lube out of the nightstand.

Castiel spread his legs as wide as he could, giving Dean complete access.

Dean squirted some lube onto his fingers, and leaned down to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, pressing his hips up, needing to be filled.

Dean rubbed his fingers over Castiel's hole, slicking it up before carefully working a finger inside.  
Castiel was tighter than he'd been in a long time, and he loved the stretch and burn as Dean started to work him open.

Dean made sure to stretch Castiel properly, working him up to three fingers. He pushed them in and out, and swallowed every noise Castiel,made.  
Castiel clung to Dean, and broke the kiss to gasp "I'm ready, please..."

Dean breathed heavily and nodded. "Okay, okay..." he murmured and carefully took out his fingers. Then he covered his erection with lube, biting his lip as he stroked it to spread the lube.

"Dean, /please,/" Castiel begged.

Dean chuckled softly. "Sorry," he murmured as he grabbed Castiel's hips, then lined up. Taking a deep breath, he then started to push inside.  
Castiel clung to Dean's torso, pressing his hips against the pressure so Dean filled him faster. He let out a loud, pleased groan once Dean was in completely.

Dean's breath hitched as he bottomed out, and he looked down at Castiel. "You really missed this, didn't you...?"  
"I missed you," Castiel amended the statement, leaning up to kiss Dean roughly, hungry for more.

Dean made a soft noise into the kiss. He kissed back, and started to move his hips after he'd let Castiel get used to the feeling.  
Castiel moaned, and rocked his hips against Dean, loving being filled by his husband.

Dean was his usual quiet self, too busy with moving his hips and make it good for Castiel to let himself relax.  
After a little bit, Castiel whispered "make it good for you, please...please, I want you to enjoy yourself." He knew it was what Dean normally did, but it scared him a little right now, afraid that Dean was only going through the motions.

Dean slowed down a bit, and looked at his husband. He bit his lip and nodded. "Okay, Cas..." he murmured. He stopped thrusting, and instead started grinding against Castiel, his cock pressing and rubbing against Castiel's prostate.  
Castiel whimpered and tossed his head back with a loud moan, shuddering. "Not just for me...for you too..." He panted, so hard for him to talk.

Dean shushed him softly and pressed his face into Castiel's neck. "I'm sorry, I'm trying..." he breathed out.  
Castiel nodded jerkily, crying out at the pressure against his prostate.

Dean closed his eyes and listened to Castiel's gasps and cries of pleasure, and let himself get lost in it as he started to move again, thrusting in and out of his husband.

Castiel's hands moved to grab Dean's ass, encouraging him to increase his pace.

Dean grunted quietly as he shifted, and picked up the pace, thrusting faster.

Castiel's cries were growing higher in pitch and his body was tensing, on the verge of an orgasm.

Dean groaned at the pressure, and panted against Castiel's neck, feeling his own orgasm approaching.

A few thrusts later, and Castiel was gone, erupting over their stomachs and clenching down hard on Dean as he came.

Dean gasped and shuddered at the feeling, and he couldn't do much more than press his hips flush against Castiel and grind into him, which was enough to send him over the edge and spill inside of his husband.

Castiel slumped down against the mattress, panting sorting as he felt Dean's semen inside of him, loving the feeling. He leaned up to give Dean a soft kiss on the lips.

Dean kissed back gently, and rubbed his hands over Castiel's hips. He looked down at Castiel. "... Was that good...?"

"It was," he murmured. "Was it good for you?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, it was," he murmured, kissing Castiel again.

Castiel kissed back, smiling softly. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, Cas." Dean smiled back, and reached up to brush some hair off Castiel's forehead.

Castiel smiled softly, leaning into the touch. "Thank you for tonight. It was wonderful."

"Mmh, you're welcome," Dean murmured. "You deserved a good night."

"As did you," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean once more.

Dean kissed back and smiled softly, then shifted a little to let his soft cock slip out of Castiel.

Castiel squirmed a little, feeling empty, and made a face at the feeling of come escaping his hole. "Can you grab the towel?" He asked softly.

Dean nodded, then pushed himself up and off the bed to grab the towel. He had thoughtful look on his face as he helped put the towel under Castiel, to avoid soiling the sheets too much.

Castiel noticed. "What's on your mind?" He asked.

"... Just thinking that maybe we should get a plug," Dean said.

Castiel hummed in thought. "I'll think about it," he murmured, touching Dean's cheek gently.

Dean nodded, and leaned down to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back gently, wrapping his arms around Dean and cuddling close.

Dean let out a happy sigh as he wrapped his arms around Castiel in return.

When the kiss broke, Castiel tucked his head under Dean's neck. "You're the best husband on the planet." He whispered.

Dean chuckled softly. "Really now?" he asked, gently rubbing Castiel's lower back.

Castiel smiled. "Really." He murmured, voice voice starting to slur with sleep.

Dean smiled. "Okay, whatever you say, Cas. Now get some sleep."

Castiel smiled softly, and fell asleep.

Dean watched over Castiel for a while, then closed his eyes and went to sleep.

Castiel woke the next morning, feeling sated and happy. He smiled, cuddling into his husband.

When Dean woke up a little later, he did so with a groan and buried his face into the pillow.

Castiel hummed. "Hello, love." He whispered.

"Mornin'... Ugh... I'm so out of shape. I'm sore," Dean mumbled, his words a bit muffled.

"Yeah, me too..." He murmured. "My ass is sore..."

"Sorry," Dean murmured, and shifted a little so he could kiss the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel smiled. "It feels good. I don't mind."

"If you say so." Dean lifted one hand to pet Castiel's hair.

Castiel smiled softly. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean said softly.

Castiel cuddled close. "Thank you...so much." He whispered.

"I'm sorry for neglecting you for so long," Dean murmured.

"It's all right. I've done the same to you." He murmured.

Dean caressed Castiel's cheek gently.

Castiel leaned into the touch. "I'm really glad you've been doing so well." He murmured. "And so proud."

"Only because you here to take care of my sorry ass..." Dean chuckled.

Castiel laced their fingers together. "It's the only reason I'm here," he murmured. "Because of you."

Dean turned quiet, and gently squeezed Castiel's hand and kissed his hair.

Castiel nuzzled into Dean's chest. "We're here because of each other," he murmured.

"Yeah... We are," Dean murmured, holding Castiel close with his free arm.

Castiel cuddled close. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, more than anything," Dean whispered back.

Castiel nodded. "Let's go out for breakfast, treat ourselves." He murmured.

"Sounds like a good idea," Dean murmured. "It's been a while..."

Castiel nodded.

Dean was quiet for a while, just enjoying being so close to Castiel, but then he sighed. "Gotta take a piss..."

Castiel nodded, and let Dean go, rolling over.

Dean carefully got out bed, and moved over to the bathroom to relieve himself.

Castiel stretched out on the bed, just laying there.

Dean came back out, feeling a little more relaxed as he sat down on the bed. "Where do you wanna go for breakfast?"

"I dunno." Castiel replied. "Where's a good place?"

"Mmh... What about that cafe close to the store we usually go to? They have really good coffee, and it's not too far away."

Castiel nodded. "Sounds good to me." He replied. "I can to get a shower though, I'm still covered in come."

Dean nodded. "Yeah... Going outside covered in come wouldn't be very fun."

Castiel nodded and got up, heading to the bathroom to take a shower.

Dean laid back down on the bed, deciding to relax while Castiel showered.

Castiel came out when he was done, a towel wrapped around his hips.

Dean opened his eyes and looked at his husband. "Why hello there, handsome. You come here often?"

Castiel chuckled. "Sometimes," he winked, going to the closet to get dressed.

Dean smiled. "That's awesome," he said, and went to the bathroom to quickly wash his face and make himself presentable, before coming back into the bedroom to get dressed himself.

Castiel was pulling on his shoes, giving Dean a smile.

Dean smiled back as he put on his own shoes.

Castiel tossed Dean the keys to the Impala. "I'm good to go when you are."

Dean caught the keys with one hand, and grinned. "Awesome. Let's go then," he said, and took one of Castiel's hands into his own.

Castiel smiled, and laced their fingers together as they went out.

Dean only let go of Castiel's hand when they reached the car and got inside. With Castiel settled and leaning against him, he drove off towards the cafe.

Castiel smiled, a hand on Dean's thigh.

Dean smiled too, feeling content and relaxed.

When they parked, Castiel got out and stretched, smiling happily. His face hadn't shown this much happiness in quite a while.

Dean's heart felt heavy when he thought about how Castiel had suffered because of him, but he smiled too and went over to take Castiel's hand again, lacing their fingers together as they went into the cafe.

Castiel squeezed his hand gently as they got a table, not even letting go when they sat down, not wanting to.

Dean smiled softly at his husband, and gently squeezed back.

Castiel smiled back, opening the menu to look for breakfast.

Dean did the same, and mouthed the words silently while he read.

"Hmmm...I'm thinking something with pancakes." Castiel murmured.   
"Pancakes does sound good..." Dean murmured. "Though the toast with bacon and eggs sounds good too."

"Why don't we order both, and share them?" Castiel suggested.

Dean smiled. "Yeah... That sounds like a good idea."

Castiel smiled and closed the menu, squeezing Dean's hand gently. 

Dean smiled back softly. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Castiel smiled.


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:
> 
> Drug use, drug addiction.

A few weeks passed, and things were going well. Until Castiel came home from work one day, upset to tears. He threw his bag on the ground before collapsing on the couch, shaking hard and trying to calm himself.

"... Cas? Is that you?" Dean called from the bathroom, and a moment later he walked into the living room. "Shit- Cas, what happened?" he asked as he rushed over to Castiel's side.

"I fucking hate people," he sobbed, shaking hard. "Hate them."

Dean sunk down to his knees on the floor, and put a hand on Castiel's shoulder. "Why...?"

"My...my sleeve slipped at work today, and the people I was serving saw my arm. They demanded to speak to the manager, because they didn't want "some disgusting emo" serving them. Then they saw my wedding ring, and asked me if it was real or if Iw as just pretending. I told them it was real, and they proceeded to say that no one in their right mind would marry someone as disgusting as I was, and demanded I be fired on the spot."

Dean frowned deeply. "They had no right at all to say that to you, Cas... I'm so sorry you had to deal with those assholes. They are the disgusting ones, not you," he murmured, gently rubbing Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel was crying. "My manager listened." He whispered. "He...he fired me just to make those assholes happy..."

Dean stared at Castiel, then let out a low growl. "I wanna talk to that stupid ass."

Castiel just shook, crying too hard to respond.

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel. "I love you Cas... You're safe here."

Castiel turned to bury his face into Dean's shoulder, so upset. He wrapped his arms around Dean, clinging to him and needing the comfort.

Dean put his other arm around Castiel and held him tight. "I'm here for you... I love you. You're the most gorgeous man I know. They don't know you. I know you," he mumbled.

Castiel trembled, letting out a whispered "thank you..." As he clung to Dean. He knew that he shouldn't have gotten so upset, but the names and words they had called him hit him deep.

Dean held Castiel close, gently rubbing his back and starting to softly hum one of their songs.

Castiel slowly relaxed under Dean's attention and humming, his sobs dying down to ragged breaths.

Dean continued to hum and hold Castiel close, not wanting to let go of him.

Eventually, Castiel calmed down completely. "I guess I need to start looking for a new job..." He murmured.

"Yeah... And I'll see if I can get some extra hours at the garage, until you find one," Dean said softly.

"Don't overwork yourself," Castiel replied immediately.

Dean nodded. "Okay. I won't," he murmured.

Castiel sighed softly. "Let's just order pizza." He murmured. "I don't think I can cook right now..."

"We'll do whatever you want to," Dean said, kissing the top of Castiel's head.

Castiel's eyes closed. "I love you so much..." He murmured.

"I love you too, Cas. More than anything," Dean whispered.

Castiel buried his face into Dean's chest. "I can't even tell you how much it means that I have you! that I'm married to you..."

"You're still here with me... And that means a lot to me," Dean murmured, holding Castiel.

Castiel nodded, and let out a soft breath. "Can we just, watch something mindless? I need to stop thinking right now.."

"Yes. Yes we can," Dean said, and carefully lifted and moved Castiel so that he could sit down, and put Castiel beside him. Then he grabbed the remote, and started browsing through netflix for something that would fit Castiel's need.

Castiel leaned into Dean, not feeling up to making decisions.

Dean ended up choosing America's funniest home videos, hoping that he didn't fuck up by doing so.

Castiel's lips quirked into a soft smile, and he just cuddled with Dean while they watched. He didn't laugh like he normally did, but he did smile and occassionally let out an amused huff.

Dean was relaxed, knowing that he'd made the right choice, and kept his arms around Castiel to hold him close.

Castiel relaxed as well, just enjoying his husband's arms around him and the videos on screen

Dean laughed softly at the really funny parts, and when the first episode ended, they watched next.

After a couple of episodes, Castiel fell asleep in Dean's arms, exhausted from the emotional day.

Dean lowered the volume on the tv and let Castiel sleep. 

Castiel stirred after a few hours, confused when something different was playing when he woke up.

"Hey," Dean murmured, having turned on the news instead of continuing to watch American's funniest home videos.

"How long was I asleep?" Castiel asked softly, stretching out his legs.

"About... Two and a half hours, I think," Dean said.

Castiel just hummed softly. His stomach growled after a few minutes, even though he wasn't feeling particularly hungry.

Dean smiled, and rubbed Castiel's lower back. "Plain, extra cheesy pizza?" he asked.

"You know me too well." Castiel replied.

"Of course I do, I'm your husband," Dean murmured. He gave Castiel a kiss, then picked up his phone.

Castiel smiled, and just relaxed into Dean as he ordered the pizza.

After the pizza was ordered, Dean put his phone away and kissed Castiel's forehead.

Castiel smiled softly. "I love you so much." he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, smiling.

When the pizza arrived, Castiel went to hide in the kitchen, not in the mood to be seen by anyone but Dean, and Sam when he came home.

Dean answered the door and paid for the pizza, then brought it to the kitchen.

Castiel had gotten plates for them, and smiled softly, taking a single slice for himself.

Dean smiled back at Castiel and took two slices, hoping to eat both of them.

Castiel prayed, and got through his slice, although he didn't want any more.

Dean ended up leaving a bit on his plate, but had managed to finish one and almost two-thirds of a slice.

Castiel yawned, and rubbed at his face.  
Sam let himself into the apartment. "Home! Smells great in here!"

"Hey, Sammy. We got pizza," Dean called back.

Sam went into the kitchen, ducking slightly under the door. He had grown another inch.

"How was your day?" Dean asked, not making his usual comments about Sam's size.

"Went and studied at the library. How about yours?" Sam asked, grabbing a few slices of pizza.

"It was good. Went to work, came home, watched tv with Cas," Dean replied, and looked at Castiel.

Castiel sighed, and looked down. "I got fired because..." he swallowed. "Because I'm me."

"Some asshole customers saw his arms, insulted him, then they managed to convince the manager to fire Cas. Because that manager is a dumbass," Dean said.

Sam's eyes widened. "What?"  
Castiel averted his eyes.

"Yeah, exactly. It's complete bullshit. It's not a valid reason to fire someone," Dean mumbled.

"I'm pretty sure it's illegal," Sam replied.

Dean looked at Castiel. "... Well, we could check, and if it is illegal... Then maybe you could get something out of it. If you want to."

Castiel shook his head. "I don't want to deal with that dickhead."

Dean blinked, then smiled a little, pleased with the word Castiel used. "All right. We'll just have to get you a new job."  
Castiel nodded, and sighed.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay, one way or another."  
Castiel nodded again.  
Sam gave him a supportive smile. "Hey, we're here for you Cas. Dean and I both, no matter what."

"Exactly. And nothing will change that," Dean added.   
Castiel gave them both a smile. "I'm going to go to bed," he murmured, standing up.  
"Hey Dean? Can we talk for a sec?" Sam asked, as Dean started to get ready to follow Castiel.

Dean blinked. "Uh, yeah, sure. What's up?"   
Sam sighed, and looked away, getting clearly nervous. "I...I need help." he admitted softly. "I've been...been such a dumbshit."

Dean looked at Sam, and sat back down. "What did you do?"  
Sam swallowed, and rolled up his sleeve to expose marks on the inside of his elbow; the kind you get from shooting heroin.

"... Fuck," was the first thing that left Dean's lips, as he stared at Sam's arm. "... Why?" he then asked.

Sam pulled his sleeve back down. "It started out with only smoking a little." he murmured. "But now, I'm fucking hooked, and I can't...I can't stop. But I want to stop."

Dean ran a hand through his hair and took a deep breath. "... Okay. We... We'll make this okay. We'll get you the help you need and everything's gonna be fine. You gotta get rid of those friends... And any contact details you might have to any dealers."  
Sam nodded, and handed Dean his phone. "Delete everyone you don't know." he told his brother.

Dean took the phone and started to look through the contacts. "... It's gonna be tough, Sam. And if you have anything hidden in your room, bag, whatever... Can I trust you to get rid of it or will I have to do a search?"  
Sam closed his eyes. "Just do it." he replied softly.  
Dean nodded, and handed Sam's phone back to him. "You're going to sit down on the couch, surf on the internet or whatever you do, and I'll search your room. Now," he said, standing up and heading to Sam's room.  
Sam went to sit on the couch, his head in his hands. He even ignored Daenerys when she crawled into his lap.

Dean tried to be as careful and quiet as he could as he searched through Sam's room - even looking for secret pockets someone could've made to hide things in them. And Sam was a smart kid, wouldn't leave things in plain sight when and if he hid something. Not a single spot was left untouched, and when he was done, he regretted having eaten at all as he felt more sick than ever.  
Sam had hidden a fairly large amount of marijuana, three bottles of subscription pills that weren't his, and more than a few needles of heroin.

Dean grabbed a plastic bag and put everything in it. He put the bag by the front door, then went over to Sam. "Sam. I'm not gonna yell, even if that's exactly what I want to do. But I do wanna know... Why did you start, and I hope to God you didn't poke yourself with something that's already been used," his voice was a bit shaky.

Sam shook his head. "I wasn't that stupid, at least." he replied, voice soft. "I just...you're going to hate yourself for this, and I...I don't want to say, because you and Cas have enough shit to deal with on top of this..."

"... You're my brother. I won't force you to tell me anything but I..." Dean took a deep breath. "Cas... Cas did mention a while back that you seemed to act odd but I wasn't worried... I wanted you to be okay. I /want/ you to be okay. And since you're not, I gotta fix it."  
Sam swallowed hard. "When we moved here...it was hard." he admitted. "Really hard. But I had seen what...what Cas had done, to deal with it. And I didn't want to go down that route. When...when Madison offered me some weed, said it would help, I...I believed her."

Dean looked at Sam, and sighed. "I... What would you like to do, Sam? Would you want to try to get help and stay, or... Or do you want to go back?"  
Sam looked down. "If I go back, they would put me in a foster home." he pointed out softly. "I just...I need help, Dean."

Dean nodded. "Okay... So... Next thing we're gonna do is make a doctor's appointment."  
Sam nodded. "I'll get a job," he promised. "Help you and Cas pay for this...it isn't fair,"

"Life is never fair... But you got a shot at a good life. So... Focus on school and your health instead. Working will just add more stress," Dean said. "When you're clean and okay, then we'll talk work..."  
Sam nodded, looking stressed and upset. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier...I just, realized that I was having trouble functioning without the drugs, and it terrified me..."

Dean sunk down to his knees in front of Sam. "Sam, look at me... You fucked up. But we can fix this. First thing tomorrow, we'll get you a doctor's appointment. You're gonna be okay. It's not too late."  
Sam nodded, and suddenly wrapped his arms around Dean in a hug,

Dean was surprised, then put his arms around Sam in return, holding on tight.  
"I'm sorry," Sam whispered.

"We'll fix this, Sam... Don't you worry," Dean murmured.

Sam nodded, and let to of Dean. "I...I need to talk to Jess," he murmured, standing up and going to his room.

Dean remained where he was, and sighed quietly when he heard Sam's door close. After a bit, he grabbed Castiel's laptop, and started doing research - knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep that night.

Castiel came out after a few hours, arms wrapped around himself. "What's wrong?" He asked softly, seeing how stressed Dean was.

"... You were right. Something is wrong with Sam," Dean said quietly looking at Castiel and then looking down again.

Castiel frowned, and moved to sit next to Dean. "What's going on?" He asked, worried.

Dean bit his lip. "He's... He hasn't been doing well since we moved here and... Someone gave him something that was supposedly going to help him..."

Castiel put his arms around Dean, giving him support while he tried to finish what he was saying.

"... He's doing drugs, Cas. He told me... He... He can't function without them," Dean whispered, and put his head in his hands.

Castiel pulled Dean in close, for both his husband's comfort and his own. "At least he told you," Castiel whispered.

"I should have noticed... I should've," Dean said. "He's my brother, I... Damnit."

Castiel hugged him close. "Don't blame yourself, Dean. I noticed something, but I didn't even think that drugs were the reason..."

Dean swallowed, then lowered his hands. "He's my responsibility... I... I'm gonna get him a doctor's appointment. Then we'll see what happens..."

Castiel nodded. "That's the best we can do right now," he murmured, rubbing Dean's back."

Dean sighed heavily. "I... I just don't... Money's probably gonna be a bit tight... So, uh. While you don't have a job, could you keep track on coupons and stuff? Sam could help."

Castiel nodded. "I'll start looking first thing in the morning." He promised softly.

"Okay, good... Thanks," Dean murmured. 

Castiel kissed his temple. "Everything will be okay," he whispered.

"I really hope so... I really fucking hope so," Dean mumbled.

Castiel kissed his temple once more.


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:
> 
> rehab

Sam came out of his room he next morning, looking like shit. His hands were shaking. Castiel had fallen asleep on the couch next to Dean.

Dean had been right about not getting any sleep. He'd closed his eyes a couple of times, but didn't get further than that. He opened his eyes and looked at Sam. "Hey. You want some coffee?"

Sam shook his head. "I just want to get to the doctor." He murmured.

"Okay," Dean replied with a small nod, and started to gently shake Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel stirred, blinking his eyes open and sitting up.

"Sorry to wake you up, but me and Sam are gonna go out for a bit," Dean said softly. "

Castiel nodded, yawning loudly. "I'll have lunch ready when you get back." He murmured.

"Thanks, Cas," Dean murmured and kissed Castiel on the cheek. He then got up and went to grab his car keys.

Sam followed quietly, unable to look at Castiel as he left.

They got into the Impala, and Dean drove him and Sam to the doctor's, hoping that there would be something that could help Sam.

Sam was quiet, withdrawn. "Thank you, Dean." He murmured.

Dean swallowed. "It's nothing, Sammy."

"No, it's not." Sam replied. "I fucked up bad, Dean."

"And we're gonna fix it," Dean said. "You're gonna be okay."

Sam nodded. "I'm willing to do whatever it takes." He whispered.

Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder and squeezed gently. "And me and Cas will help you along the way."

Sam nodded. "I told Jess last night." He murmured. "She was...she was upset, but she's going to help me too..."

"Good. You'll need her more than ever, too," Dean mumbled.

Sam nodded, and let out a sin as they pulled into the hospital.

Dean parked the car and they got out, then walked into the hospital with Sam.

The receptionist looked up. "How can I help you" she asked.

"My brother here has some problems, and we want to see a doctor as soon as possible," Dean told her.

She nodded. "It'll be about half an hour wait," she handed them some paperwork.

"Okay. Thank you," Dean said, accepting the paperwork and stepping to the side so he and Sam could fill it out.

Sam looked over Dean's shoulder,a nd told him the answers to the symptom questions.

Dean nodded and wrote everything down, and for once he was asking Sam when he needed help with the difficult words. When the paperwork was done, he handed it back.

The receptionist nodded, and entered them in.  
Sam sat down in a chair, his hands trembling.

Dean sat down beside Sam, his knee gently knocking against Sam's.

Sam swallowed and sighed, burying his head in his hands.

Dean put his hand on Sam's shoulder. "Hey... It's gonna be okay."

"I know, it's just...this was the last thing you and Cas needed."

"It might be so, but Sam... I want you to be okay. It doesn't matter if I have to work extra. I'm happy you told me, so that we can fix it." 

Sam just nodded, and swallowed when his name was called. "Come with me?, he asked softly.

"Yeah, okay," Dean said as he stood up, and then walked with Sam to the room to see the doctor.

The nurse took Sam's vitals, noting that his blood pressure was much, much higher than it should be, before she left the brothers alone until the doctor came.

The doctor soon joined them. "Good morning. I'm Dr. Fuller," he said, looking at the two of them, his eyes quickly falling to Sam's shaking hands. "And I assume that you're Sam."

Sam nodded. "That I am." He replied softly.

Dr. Fuller took a seat. "Well then, Sam. Tell me exactly what you've been doing."

Sam swallowed hard, glancing at Dean. "Marijuana almost daily for a year and a half." He murmured. "Some random prescription drugs. Cocaine occasionally. And heroin at least twice a day."

Dean's jaw clenched as he heard that, but he remained still.  
Dr Fuller nodded. "Okay, I see... How come that you started?"

Sam looked down. "When...when we moved here from Kansas, it was rough. It was my idea, since Dean's husband was going to move here and I knew Dean needed to come, and he wouldn't move without me. But I left behind my girlfriend, my school, my friends...a lot. And...Dean's husband has issues with depression too. He's so self-mutilated that he can't really wear anything short-sleeved. And I didn't want to go that route. And then one of my new "friends" gave me some marijuana, said it would help."

Dr Fuller listened, keeping his eyes on Sam. "... And then it escalated," he said. "So Dean's husband has depression... Is there depression in your family? And do you know anyone in your family that is or have been addicted to drugs or alcohol?"

Sam swallowed. "Yes to depression and alcohol...my father was, and..." He glanced at Dean again. "...Dean has depression as well."

"... I... I take medication and go to therapy. Our father never got any treatment, because he didn't think he needed any. Didn't want any. He also sometimes got so mad he was abusive," Dean added. "Died from his addiction."  
Dr Fuller nodded. "I see. Well, depression and other mental illnesses are usually the cause behind an addiction. Do you believe that you have depression, Sam?"

Sam nodded. "I've had enough time around Cas to believe that I do." He replied.

"And Cas is your husband?" Dr Fuller asked Dean.  
Dean nodded. "Yes."  
Dr Fuller nodded too. "Well, Sam. I would like you to do some tests. It's not that I don't believe you, but everyone that we suspect has depression or anxiety, takes these tests. Okay?"

Sam nodded. "Don't know how well I can hold a pencil," he admitted, his hands still very shaky.

"Your brother could fill them out for you, if you don't mind. But if you want to keep it between the two of us, I could fill them out with you while your brother waits outside," Dr Fuller said.

Sam shook his head. "Can you fill them out, but Dean stays?" He asked.

"If that's what you want, then of course." Dr Fuller nodded, and fetched the tests and a pencil before he moved to sit beside Sam.

Sam was taking the exact same tests Dean had when he had been first diagnosed, and Sam was giving just as many "yes" answers as Dean did.

Dr Fuller hummed softly after Sam had finished taking the tests, and looked through the answers. "Well... Seems like you know yourself well, Sam."

Sam just nodded jerkily. "So, what are my options?" he asked.

"Well, because of the fact that you have an addiction /and/ depression, we will have to take careful steps... It will be hard, but I'm positive that with carefully monitored medication, therapy and support from your family, you could beat this. I'm thinking that we'll try with an out-patient rehabilitation program, first." Dr Fuller then looked at Dean. "And in case of a severe relapse or that the treatment doesn't work, I recommend sending him to an in-patient drug rehabilitation center."  
Dean tensed up.

Sam nodded. "Whatever I have to do," he replied.

Dr Fuller nodded. "As I said, it will be hard. You will probably experience a lot of symptoms. The medication will lessen them, but they can still be intense. So don't be surprised if you'll be saying the exact opposite words at some point." He wrote something down on a paper, then folded it and handed it to Sam. "These are therapists that mainly work with people that has an addiction as well as depression. Their numbers are on there too, and so is mine. You, I and a therapist will be working close together to beat this addiction."

Sam nodded, and took the paper, handing it immediately over to Dean. "I don't trust myself right now," he told Dr. Fuller.

Dean accepted the paper and put it into his pocket.  
Dr Fuller looked at them. "Well, it's a good thing that you have your brother by your side, then," he said. "People don't always have their family by their side."

Sam nodded. "I know how lucky I am," he replied softly.

Dean looked at Sam.  
"Mhmm... Well, I'd like to discuss medication with you..." Dr Fuller continued, and went on to tell Sam about the medication they used, what side effects it could have but also the positive effects it had on the recovery.

Sam nodded, and asked for the medication that had the highest affectiveness, regardless of the side-effects.

Dr. Fuller nodded, then glanced at Dean who also nodded. He then prescribed the medication to Sam.

Sam thanked the doctor. "We'll keep in touch," he promised.

"Yes, we will," Dr Fuller said, and patted Sam on the shoulder. "Good luck, Sam."

"Thank you," Sam murmured, standing and walking with Dean out of the hospital.

They got into the car, but Dean just toyed with his keys for a moment. "... I'm really happy that you let me know," he murmured, then finally started the car.

Sam nodded. "I'm sorry I kept it from you for so long," he murmured.

"... Well, y'know. I'm not that good at saying stuff either. I guess it's a family thing," Dean said, and drove off from the hospital.

Sam nodded, and sighed heavily. "I'll text Cas that we're on our way back." he murmured.

Dean nodded. "All right, you do that. And Sammy?"

"Yeah?" Sam asked, looking at his brother.

"I'm proud of you," Dean said softly. "And it's all gonna be okay."

Sam nodded. "Thanks..." he murmured.

Dean gently patted Sam's arm, then turned his full focus onto the road.

Sam texted Castiel to let them know they were on the way home.  
Castiel was waiting, nervous and worried about Sam. He had made Sam's favourite meal, a greek salad with a side of french fries.

When they reached their building, Dean walked behind Sam up the stairs and then let them both inside the apartment.

"Home," Sam called out as they took off their shoes.  
"How did everything go?" Castiel asked, clearly worried.

"Well... I guess it went well. Things got figured out, and help is available," Dean said. 

Sam nodded, and Castiel offered Sam a soft smile. "We're here for you," he murmured. No matter what."  
Sam nodded. "Thanks guys."

"Anything for you, Sam," Dean murmured. "Now, I think you said something about having lunch ready?" he asked, looking at Castiel.

Castiel chuckled. "I made Sam's favourite." he replied.  
Sam's cheeks turned pink. "Cas, you didn't have to."  
Castiel just gave him a look, and went into the kitchen to fix the plates.

Dean smiled softly, and nudged Sam to the kitchen.

Castiel handed them both a plate, with the salad and fries on it, giving Dean a look when he opened his mouth to protest.

Dean closed his mouth, knowing better than to say anything when Castiel looked at him like that.

Castiel retrieved his own plate, and they all sat down. Castiel prayed, and they began to eat, Sam devouring his food hungrily.

Dean ate slowly, but he did eat and didn't complain even once.

Castiel ate at a normal speed, and was very proud of Dean for eating his salad.

Dean ate most of the salad but couldn't stomach finishing off the fries, since the salad was lighter.

Sam finished his food, and gave Castiel a small smile. "Thanks, Cas. Really."  
Castiel smiled back. "It's not a problem."

Dean smiled lightly at the other two. "... What about we three watch a movie or something tonight?"

Sam nodded. "I'd like that...I haven't been around you two much, and I'm sorry for that."

"Hey, it's okay," Dean said. "We can start spending more time together, from now on."

Sam nodded, and gave them both a smile.  
"Why don't we watch Ghostbusters?" Castiel suggested.

Dean grinned. "Well, why not?"

Castiel went and found it on Netflix. Sam sat next to Dean, and Castiel sat on Dean's other side.

Dean felt silly, but having both Sam and Castiel so close made him feel at ease.

They spent most of the day just watching tv, until Dean had to leave for his late night shift.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning:
> 
> Withdrawal

Dean wasn't happy about going to work, but went without a complaint, as he had to talk to Chuck and work would help clear his head.

Chuck was in his office, getting ready to head home for the night when Dean showed up. "Hey, Dean." He gave him a smile. "How are you?"

"... Not so good," Dean admitted. "I... Do you have five minutes?"

Chuck's smile faded. "Of course, have a seat." He gestured to the chair in front of his desk, sitting down in his own chair.

Dean sighed as he took a seat. "Thanks... So, well... Uh... You know how I live with Cas and I have custody of my brother who lives with us, yeah...? Well... As of yesterday, I'm now the only one who has a job, and my brother is in bad shape and is going to need meds and stuff... And I was just wondering if maybe there's a chance I could work extra... Like, even only an hour here and there would be awesome."

Chuck hummed, and turned to his computer to look at the schedule. "I don't see why I can't squeeze you in every now and then." He murmured. "What happened, for Castiel to lose his job?" He asked,a. Concerned look on his face. 

Dean let out a sigh of relief at Chuck's words. "Thanks, man, I really appreciate it... And a pair of asshole guests at the restaurant he worked at spoke to the manager and got Cas fired. Cas did nothing wrong."

Chuck frowned. "That's bullshit." He replied. "Yeah, I can't do anything this week, but I can next week, okay?"

"Yeah, that's what I think too... And yeah, that's okay. Thanks, Chuck." Dean gave him a small smile.

Chuck returned the smile. "Good luck, with everything." He murmured.

Dean smiled a little wider and stood up. "Thanks. See you later," he said, and headed out of Chuck's office.

Castiel and Sam played some cards together for a while, talking about everything. Castiel opened up to Sam a little more about the struggles he went through, and they both went to bed feeling a little better.  
Castiel was asleep by the time Dean got home, a note on the table for his husband.  
"Pasta in the fridge is for you, please eat it before you go to bed."

Dean sighed as he saw the note, even if it made him happy that Castiel had thought about him. He ate as much as he could of the pasta and drank some water, then put the rest back into the fridge. Then he went to bed and fell asleep.  
Castiel woke up the next morning, and he put an arm around Dean to cuddle close.

Dean made a soft noise in his sleep, and it didn't take long until he woke up too.  
Castiel smiled softly. "Good morning," he murmured, kissing Dean's cheek.

Dean smiled sleepily. "Mornin'," he murmured.  
"How was work yesterday?" Castiel murmured, kissing Dean's ear.

"It was okay... Chuck said he'd be able to give me an extra hour so of work every here and there," Dean mumbled.  
"That's good," Castiel murmured. "I applied to a few restaurants, now I just have to see if I get any call backs..."

"That sounds good," Dean murmured. "I really hope someone will call you."  
"yeah...me too." Castiel murmured, pressing kisses to Dean's shoulder.

Dean smiled softly, and look at Castiel.

Castiel looked back with a loving smile.

Dean turned his body to Castiel, and gently caressed his cheek.

Castiel leaned into the touch, and leaned in to gently kiss Dean's lips.

Dean smiled and kissed back just as gently.

Castiel gently deepened the kiss, not intending to get sexual, but just wanting to kiss his husband.

Dean rested his hand on Castiel's neck, and stroked his husband's cheek with his thumb.

Castiel let out a soft noise, gently sucking Dean's lower lip.

Dean closed his eyes, and shifted a bit closer to Castiel.

Castiel cuddled close as they kissed, enjoying this moment. It had been a while since they had kissed like this.

Dean kissed Castiel deeply but gently, happy to be this close to Castiel.

Castiel smiled lovingly when the kiss broke, pressing their foreheads together sweetly.

"I love you," Dean murmured, smiling softly.

"I love you too," Castiel murmured, lacing their fingers together.

Dean smiled wider, and gently squeezed Castiel's hand.

Castiel leaned in to kiss Dean again, not wanting this little moment to end.

Dean kissed back, feeling happy and relaxed, wishing they cuold stay in bed like this all day.

Their little moment was interrupted when they heard a crashing sound coming from Sam's bedroom.

Dean pulled away quickly and got out of bed, then rushed out of their bedroom and hurried over to Sam's. "Sam!"

Sam was curled up on the floor, twitching almost uncontrollably. He was starting to go through withdrawal.

Dean cursed under his breath, then carefully approached Sam. "Sam... Can you answer me?"

Sam forced his head to shake no, his jaw clenched tight.

Dean frowned, and knelt down beside Sam, putting a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay... It's gonna be okay."

Sam just twitched under Dean's hand, nearly hitting him a few times as his body thrashed.

Dean flinched and pulled back when he almost got struck in the face, then tried to grab Sam's wrists. "Hey, hey- I'm here, Sammy..."

Sam's entire face just looked pained as he looked as his brother, unable to speak.

"I'm not letting you go through this alone," Dean said.

Sam's head nodded jerkily, his hands restrained under Dean's.

Dean remained by Sam's side, only holding his hands down in an attempt to keep Sam from hurting himself.

Castiel brought then water, and some damp washcloths to wash the sweat off of Sam's face.

Dean and Castiel worked together to take care of Sam, Dean telling Sam over and over that it was gonna be all right.

Eventually, Sam fell asleep, exhausted from the day, his body craving the drugs he had become addicted to.

Dean loosened his grip, and let go completely when he was sure that Sam's muscles wouldn't act up again, at least not until Sam woke up. Then he just sat there, staring at his brother.

Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, holding him close.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in return and clung to him.

"Sam's going to be okay," he murmured.

"But it hurts..." Dean whispered, burying his face in Castiel's neck.

"I know, it hurts me too.." Castiel replied softly. "But Sam will beat this."

Dean nodded. "Yeah... I know," he mumbled.

"C'mon," Castiel murmured. "Let's move to the living room."

Dean nodded again, and got up to his feet, a little unsteady since he'd been sitting on his knees for so long.

Castiel helped him up and over to the couch.

Dean sat down on the couch with a weary sigh, and ran his hands over his face.

Castiel hugged Dean close. "Everything will be okay." he murmured.

"I really, really hope so..." Dean murmured.

Castiel kissed Dean's temple, holding him close and whispering words of love and encouragement, reminders of how strong Sam was and how badly he wanted to fight this.

A few tears ended up escaping Dean's eyes as he listened to Castiel, and after a while he relaxed and felt a little better. "You're awesome," he told Castiel.

Castiel smiled softly, a thumb coming up to brush a tear from Dean's cheek. "You're the one who taught me that I was." he whispered.

Dean sniffled, but managed a small smile as he looked at Castiel.

Castiel smiled back. "I am so proud of you," he murmured, kissing dean's forehead.

Dean blinked, and furrowed his brows. "... Why?" he asked.

"Because you are so, so strong." He murmured.

Dean didn't look very convinced, but didn't say anything.

Castiel kissed his forehead, and put on Dr. Sexy not he tv, low volume so they could hear Sam just in case.

Dean put his feet up on the couch and leaned back, eyes focusing on the tv.

Castiel cuddled with Dean, eventually both of them falling asleep on the couch, cuddled together.

When they both woke up later, Dean managed to call and book an appointment with a therapist for Sam - knowing that there was no way Sam could do it himself.

Castiel started making dinner, checking up on Sam before he started. "Hey Dean? Can you start an ice bath? He's burning up." Castiel told his husband.

Dean nodded, and went to fix the ice bath for Sam. When it was done, he helped Castiel to move Sam to the bathroom.

Sam remained unconscious the entire time, only waking up with a gasp once he was plunged into the bath.

Dean let out a sigh of relief. "Sorry, dude... We had no choice," he said, grabbing a towel.

Sam shivered, taking the towel to wipe his face. "S'okay..." He gasped.

"How are you feeling, aside from... Well... Cold and wet?" Dean asked.

"Weak, exhausted." Sam replied.   
Dean nodded. "Okay. Well, let's dry you off and put some clothes on, then chill on the couch. Castiel's gonna cook up some food..."  
"I don't think I can eat... I'm so nauseated...." Sam admitted.

"Okay... We'll see if you feel better later," Dean said.

Sam got out, and Castiel left the room so he could get dressed and dried off.

After Sam was dry and dressed, Dean walked with him to the couch.

Sam sat down, still shaking and pale, but not nearly as badly as before.

Dean looked at Sam. "Wanna watch something?"

"Whatever you want, I don't care." Sam replied.

"... Okay." Dean chewed on his lip, and found some random tv show on Netflix to watch.

Sam was barely paying attention to anything, his face pale and a cold sweat breaking out. His hands continued trembling, and his eyes darted around, not sure what to focus on.

Dean kept an eye on Sam, and after a while of watching Sam remain in the same state, he put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Hey. You wanna take a nap?"

Sam shook his head. "Can't sleep like this. My mind is just racing."

Dean frowned. "Oh... Well, if there's anything I can do for you, just tell me."

Sam nodded. "Right now, ai'm just...trying not to give into the craving to walk right out of here, or to go for yours or Cas' medications...you should probably hide those from me, especially Cas', since he takes the really strong stuff..."

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, I promise to do that, and if you do walk out - I will be running after you... Also, just so you know, I got you an appointment with a therapist," he said. "You'll see him on Tuesday."

Sam nodded. "Thanks..." He murmured.

Dean gently patted Sam's shoulder.

Sam let out a deep breath. "Can you please hide them now?" He asked. "I can't stop thinking about it."

"Yeah, of course. Yell if you need anything," Dean said. He handed the remote to Sam, then headed to the bathroom to hide his and Castiel's medication.

Sam kept his eyes closed, not wanting to even get a glimpse of what room Dean was in.

Dean put their medication in a box, and hid it together with his and Castiel's /very private/ things. He would think of a better hiding place later.

Castiel was making homemade chicken noodle soup in the kitchen.

Dean checked up on Sam, and then went to the kitchen to quietly tell Castiel what he'd just done. 

Castiel nodded softly when Dean told him where their medication was, cheeks slightly pink as he thought of their small collection of sex toys. 

Dean didn't fail to notice, smiling softly as he kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled back, and pecked Dean's lips before shooing him off to go back to his brother.

Dean pouted slightly, but did turn around and headed back to Sam without a word.

Sam opened his eyes when Dean sat back down on the couch. "Thanks." He murmured.

"It's no problem, Sammy," Dean said, smiling lightly at Sam. 

Sam just continued being unfocused the rest of the night, before he ended up just kneeling over, dead asleep on the couch.

Dean decided not to move Sam, and instead brought his covers and a pillow to the couch and made it as comfortable as possible for Sam, with Castiel's help.

Castiel looked at Dean when they had finished. "Let's leave our door cracked open tonight," he murmured.

"Yeah, so we can hear him better if anything happens... If I didn't know that it'd make Sam really pissed, I would've just slept on the living room floor," Dean mumbled.

Castiel shook his head. "You need to sleep," he murmured. "And sleep well. Besides, as much as I hate guilting you, you know I sleep better when you're with me too."

"Yeah, I know," Dean murmured, looking at Sam one last time before walking with Castiel to their bedroom.

Castiel hesitated, and didn't strip down like he normally did, crawling into bed fully clothed.

Dean looked at Castiel, but didn't question it. He stripped down and put on a tshirt, then got into bed.

Castiel curled up in bed, facing Dean. "Sorry, I just...am really, really fucking insecure right now." He admitted softly.

Dean nodded. "It's okay, honey... It's been a rough three days... I understand."  
Castiel nodded, and curled up against his husband, letting out a soft sigh.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close.  
Castiel slightly relaxed in Dean's arms. "We've all been on the verge of mental breaks lately. It's not good." He murmured.

"... There's not much we can do about it, though," Dean said.   
"I know..." Castiel sighed, his eyes shut. "That doesn't mean I don't wish there was..."

"Yeah... I get it. I wish there was a miracle pill," Dean murmured.  
Castiel nodded in agreement. His sleep was uneasy that night.

Dean's sleep was also uneasy, as he woke up at the smallest sounds.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning
> 
> Withdrawal, rehab, panic attack

Sam woke the next morning, and fell off of the couch with a loud "thump"

Dean sat up in bed, having been woken up by the thump.  
Sam groaned, and immediately proceeded to vomit into the nearby trash can.

Dean went out to the living room, to see Sam bent over the trash can, and frowned. Then he fetched a glass of water from the kitchen for Sam.  
Sam was trembling and panting hard once he finished vomiting.

Dean sat down beside Sam, resting a hand on his back. "Hey, Sammy... Got some water for you."

Sam drank about half of the glass before he was throwing up again.

Dean grimaced, and gently rubbed Sam's back.  
Sam was crying when he finished, in pain. "Dean..." He whispered.

"I'm so sorry buddy..." Dean said, and brushed some hair out of Sam's face. "I'm here for you."

"I need...I need to be checked in. Inpatient." He whimpered. "I can't do this..."

Dean tensed, and he looked at Sam. "... Are you... Are you sure...?" he asked.  
Sam nodded. "I'm just getting worse, and I can't put you and Cas through this...I can't..."

Dean bit his lip, and ran a hand over his face. "... I'm gonna call Dr. Fuller then," he said quietly.

Sam just nodded, face pale and sweaty, his twitching more pronounced than before.

Dean took a deep breath, then went to get his phone and Dr Fuller's number. He sat in the living room while he called, keeping an eye on Sam. Luckily the doctor picked up, and he explained the situation and Dr Fuller recommended an inpatient program that would suit Sam.

Sam looked at his older brother once he hung up. "What did he say?" He asked.

"... There's... There's a place for you people like you. He said they have some vacant beds. It's over an hour away," Dean mumbled. "It's a 30 day program... But... If you need more, then... You'll be able to stay longer."  
Sam nodded. "Okay..." He murmured. "I'll do it. I need to do it..."

"... Get some rest. I'll call them, get you a spot there," Dean said quietly.

Sam nodded, and slowly got up, going to his room to pack a bag.

Dean put his head in his hands, calming himself down before grabbing the laptop. He looked the place up and then called them to get Sam into the program, not knowing if he was happy or distraught when they said they would take good care of Sam.

Sam came out, dropping the bag twice on his way. He sat back on the couch, entire body shaking hard.

Dean hung up, and didn't look at Sam. "... I'm just... Gonna take a shower, then we're leaving."

Sam nodded, and just remained on the couch.  
Castiel was awake and in the bathroom when Dean walked in. "What happened?" He asked softly, seeing Dean' face.

"... Sam's going to rehab. He wants to go through an inpatient program," Dean whispered.

Castiel dropped his toothbrush immediately and went to give Dean a hug, wrapping his husband up in his arms.

"I already called the place..." Dean's shoulders shook. "I'm... I'm just taking a shower, then we're going..."  
Castiel kissed the top of his head. "I'm going too," he murmured. "I'm driving us home, okay?"

"Okay..." Dean nodded slightly. "Sounds good."  
Castiel kissed Dean's head again. "It's going to be okay. Sam's going to get better, he just needs what we can't give him right now."

Dean took a deep, shaky breath. "I know... I just... Again, I'm useless. Only this time, all I can do is wait..."

"You aren't useless." Castiel replied immediately. "You're there for us, you're so strong. But not everyone can do everything. You're only human, Dean. There's only so much any of us can do."

Dean sniffled, and wrapped his arms tight around Castiel. "It doesn't feel like it..."  
Castiel held him tightly. "Sam told you, didn't he?" He murmured. "He told you because he trusted you to be able to stop him, to help him. And you are. You're letting him go the path he needs to go down to get through this."

Dean pressed his face into Castiel's neck, and gripped the back of his shirt tightly, his breath hitching.  
Castiel held his husband tightly. "We both love you, Dean." He whispered. "You're our family."

"I love you too," Dean said, voice quiet and broken.  
Castiel just held Dean close, before he started to undress, starting the shower. "I'm taking it with you." He murmured.

Dean nodded, and also got undressed. When the shower was ready, he got inside together with Castiel.  
Castiel gently started washing Dean's body and hair, massaging his muscles briefly as he worked.

Dean let Castiel take care of him, and slowly relaxed under the attention.  
Castiel kissed him when he finished.

Dean returned the kiss. "Want me to wash you in return?" he asked, not sure since Castiel had felt self conscious last night.

Castiel shook his head. "I don't really need to be right now, I actually took a shower right before you came in," he admitted.

"Oh... Okay," Dean murmured, and nodded slightly. "That does explain why you smell really nice..."  
Castiel chuckled, and hugged Dean close, their naked bodies pressing together. "Everything is going to be all right." He whispered.

Dean took comfort in the feeling of being so close to Castiel, and nodded. "I hope so." he murmured.  
Castiel kissed Dean gently, over and over, from the top of his head to his chin and everything in between.

Dean smile softly at the kisses that he got. "You're so sweet..."  
Castiel smiled softly, kissing Dean on the lips before he turned off the water. "Just for you," he murmured.

Dean smiled a little wider. He got out of the shower with Castiel and dried off quickly, then went to the bedroom to get dressed.  
Sam was on the phone, talking quietly to Jess when Dean and Castiel came out.

"Sam? We're ready. Do you need some more time?" Dean asked, not wanting to interrupt, but had to.  
Sam took a deep breath and shook his head, murmuring a "I've gotta go now. I love you so much, Jess." Before hanging up.

"You sure you got everything with you? Do you want anything with you in the car?"   
Sam shook his head. "I read the web page. No electronics, only clothing, which will be searched, and two items of a personal nature." He murmured.

Dean nodded. "Okay... Well then. Let's go. It'll take a while to get there."  
Sam nodded, and slowly stood. He went to grab his bag, but Castiel beat him to it, throwing the bag over his own shoulder.

Dean smiled a little and grabbed the keys. Then they all headed outside to the Impala.  
Castiel slid into the backseat so Sam could sit in the passenegr's seat, which he did.

Dean got into the driver's seat and started the car, then made sure they were all settled before starting to drive.  
The car was quiet for a little, and then Sam murmured. "Hey, Dean...? Can you...can you put on Hey Jude?" He asked softly.  
It reminded Castiel then that the song was significant to Sam too, not just him and Dean.

"Of course, Sammy," Dean murmured. He grabbed the box in which he stored his music, and soon 'Hey Jude' was playing in the car.  
Sam closed his eyes, listening and taking comfort in the familiar song.

Dean didn't say anything as he focused on the road, letting Sam enjoy the song the in peace.

Sam let out a low breath when the song finished. "Thank you," he murmured.

"It's nothing. Want to hear it again?" Dean asked softly.

"...yeah." Sam admitted softly.

Dean nodded, and played the song again.

Sam relaxed, humming along to the music, his twitching calming slightly,

Dean smiled a little as he glanced over and saw that, then looked back at the road.

Castiel relaxed as he listened as well, thanks to Dean always using it to calm him.

Dean was relaxed too, and he played the song a couple of more times during the ride.

Sam took in a deep breath as they pulled up to the place he would be staying for the next month.

Dean parked the car. "... Want us to go with you inside...?"

"Yes please..." He whispered.

Dean nodded. "Okay," he murmured, and got out of the car.

Castiel got out as well, carrying Sam's bag in as they walked inside.

Dean walked as close to Sam that he could.  
A receptionist looked up as they walked inside, and he smiled a little. "Hello. How can I help you?"

"Hi. I'm Sam Winchester..." He murmured. "My brother called earlier."

"That's me. Dean Winchester," Dean said.  
The receptionist nodded. "Yeah, I've got your name in my papers. We weren't excepting you so early, but that's okay, so don't worry about it. Are you aware of our rules about clothes, personal belongings and such?" he asked, looking at Sam.

Sam nodded. Castiel set the bag down where it was indicated to leave them.

"So, I will be alerting the conselour you will be meeting... After that, you'll be taken to the room you'll be staying in, and we'll check your bag. And you won't be seeing your family during your stay, so take a few minutes to say bye, okay? You'll be allowed one phone call a week, but they're short," the receptionist told Sam.  
Dean bit his lip, and looked at Sam.

Sam nodded, and turned to give Castiel a hug, patting his back. Then he turned to Dean, and hugged his brother tightly. "I need to do this," he whispered. "It's not that you were useless, it's that I need to do this away from you and Cas. I saw how much it's hurting you both, and I can't do that. I need to protect my family as much as you feel the need to protect us."

Dean held on tight and pressed his face into Sam's shoulder, not wanting to let go of his brother. "Okay... If you say so. Just remember to call us at least once, to not cause any trouble... And you better come back home as soon as possible," he said quietly.

Sam nodded, holding Dean close. "I love you Dean. This is not your fault." He murmured.

Dean took a deep breath. "I love you too, and I'll miss you Sammy."

Sam pat Dean's back before letting go, giving them both a tired smile before he followed a nurse into the back.

Dean watched Sam go, then turned around and walked outside.

Castiel walked with him, a concerned eye on his husband and his arm around Dean's shoulders.

Dean maintained a blank expression, though his eyes were glassy and he was clenching his jaws.

Castiel waited until they got into the Impala, himself in the driver's seat, before he pulled Dean into his arms, holding his husband close. "It's okay," he whispered.

Dean slumped into Castiel's arms. "It doesn't feel like it," he whispered, burying his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel held Dean close. "Sam is getting the help he needs," he whispered. "Something we can't give to him."

"I know... But he's gone, Cas. He's gone again..." Dean shoulders shook. "And when he comes back, /those bastards/ will still be around, and I... What if we can't stop him from going back to them?"

Castiel held Dean close. "He wants to stop, Dean. If he didn't, then he never would have told you, told me, told Jess. You and I know that he's going to end up marrying Jess one day, why would he tell her of all people if he didn't want to stop.

"Because people say things, and they get better, and then they... Then they fall back down," Dean said quietly. "Sometimes they don't mean too, but it happens, even if they don't want to... I.... I'm just scared, Cas. I don't want him to end up like... Dad."

Castiel held Dean close. "You were more of a father to him than John ever was." He murmured. "Sam told me that himself."

Dean took a deep, shaky breath, and wrapped his arms around Castiel in return.

Castiel started to sing "Carry On my Wayward son" holding Dean close and pressing kisses to the top of his head in between lines.

Dean let himself relax against his husband, and he sniffled softly every now and then, listening to Castiel's voice.

"It's okay to cry," Castiel murmured. "I'm not going to judge."

"I don't want to... I don't think I could stop," Dean admitted.

Castiel nodded. "It's okay. Sometimes you just need to let it out." He whispered.

Dean hunched his shoulders. "Okay... I... Okay. If you say so..." he whispered back.

Castiel rubbed his back soothingly. "Just let it out, Dean. You need to." He murmured.

It took a bit more coaxing, but Dean soon let out a sob, his control shattering as he let go and cried into Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel held his husband close, rubbing his back and just holding him. He placed kisses to the top of Dean's head.

Dean cried and shook, clinging to Castiel as if his life depended on it. Thought eventually, after a long while, he started to calm down.

Once Dean's sobs started to die down, Castiel started to sing "Hey Jude"

Dean quietened down further, but was still clinging to his husband while listening to him sing.

Castiel held Dean close, just cradling and comforting him.

Dean closed his eyes, and slowly relaxed in Castiel's arms.

Once Dean was relaxed, Castiel kissed the top of his head. "I need to drive us home now, but when we get there, we'll cuddle and watch mindless tv and stop by and pick up some burgers from that diner you love. Okay?"

Dean sniffled and nodded. "Okay," he whispered, reluctantly pulling away from Castiel to lean back in his seat.

Castiel leaned over to kiss his cheek, and once they were on the highway to get him, he pulled Dean in to lean against his side.

Dean tensed a little at first, then slowly relaxed and leaned against Castiel.

Castiel smiled and kissed the top of his head, a classic rock station playing softly.

Dean closed his eyes, and let himself be lulled into a light sleep by the music and the comfort that his husband provided.

Castiel only moved Dean once they were outside of the diner. "Dean...love, we need to get food." he murmured.

Dean made an unhappy noise at having been woken up, and rubbed at his eyes when he sat up. "Mmmh... Food you say?"

"Yes. I'll go in and order, what do you want?"

Dean thought about it. "Uhm... A burger and fries," he murmured. "Want me to come with you?"

"You can stay here is you want." Castiel murmured.

"... Nah, I'll go with you," Dean mumbled, and got out of the car.

Castiel nodded, and took Dean's hand in his as they walked into the dinner.

Dean laced their fingers together.  
A middle aged lady greeted them as they came inside. "Hello. You two want to be seated?"

"No thank you, we're going to order to go." Castiel replied with a smile.

"All right, darling," the lady smiled a little. "What would you like?"

"Two burgers, one well done one medium done, two orders of fries, and sweet tea for me." he looked at Dean to see what he wanted to drink.

"Coke for me," Dean said.  
The lady nodded as she wrote down their orders. "All right. I'll bring you the food," she said, and disappeared to give the order to the cook.

Castiel slipped his arm around Dean's waist, holding his husband close.

Dean put his arm around Castiel's shoulders. "I'm so lucky to have you," he murmured.

Castiel smiled softly. "As I'm lucky to have you," he murmured.

Dean leaned his head against Castiel's with a soft hum.

Castiel smiled, and they waited, sharing a quiet moment.

The lady soon came back with their food, packed and ready for them to take with them after they paid. "Well aren't you two just adorable?" she smiled.

Castiel smiled, and got out his card to pay. "Thank you, ma'am." he replied.

Dean watched as Castiel paid for the food, and then let go of him so they could grab their things.  
"Have a good day, you two," the lady said, and Dean smiled a little and nodded at her.

"You as well." he smiled at her, and they went back out to the car. Castiel got back into the driver's seat, starting the Impala.

Dean sat in the passenger seat, food on his lap. "It's been a while since I was in the passenger seat," he murmured.

"Yeah..." Castiel murmured, backing out of the spot so they could head home.

Dean leaned back as they got back on the road, and closed his eyes.

Castiel drove them home, parking in their spot and turning off the car. "We're home," he murmured.

"... It's good to be home," Dean said, then carefully climbed out of the car.

Castiel nodded, locking the car up before going up to their apartment, letting them both in.  
Pirate and Daenerys ran to greet them, purring loudly.

"Hey, ladies," Dean said softly, stepping out of his shoes then putting their food away for a moment so he could pet their cats.

Pirate purred and rubbed herself against Dean's hand.  
Castiel went and got some paper plates, opening the containers and setting their food out while Dean had the cats distracted.

Dean laid down on the floor on his back, and he let the cats nuzzle his face and neck, enjoying how affectionate they were.

Castiel chuckled at the sight, snapping a picture with his phone.

Dean looked up at Castiel, his eyes tired even as he pouted playfully.

Castiel smiled and helped Dean back up, giving him a kiss on the lips. "Food's ready." He murmured.

"Okay... Are we eating in the kitchen?" Dean asked, returning the kiss.

"We can eat on the couch if you want," he murmured.

"And we can watch mindless shit on the tv?"

"We can watch mindless shit on the tv," Castiel agreed.

"You're the best," Dean murmured, and pulled Castiel into a hug.

Castiel hugged Dean back, tightly. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured. "I'd be lost without you."

Castiel hugged him close. "I wouldn't be alive if not for you." he murmured.

Dean's hold tightened around Castiel, and he didn't know what to say.  
Castiel kissed him softly on the lips. "Cmon, let's eat before it gets cold." he murmured.

"Mmkay," Dean murmured and nodded, then followed Castiel to grab their food and then went to sit on the couch.

Castiel prayed, and then they started to eat, Castiel looking for something mindless to watch on Netflix.

Dean was content to lean back, letting Castiel choose while slowly eating a few fries.  
"Hmm...how does Mythbusters sound?" he asked.

"Yes, sounds good. I like it when they blow stuff up," Dean replied.  
Castiel chuckled, and hit play, an arm open so Dean could cuddle against him.

Dean glanced at Castiel, and soon cuddled up against his husband's side.  
Castiel kissed the top of Dean's head, continuing to eat his burger as they watched the show.

Dean ate slowly, and smiled a little as Adam and Jamie blew things up on the show.  
Castiel finished his meal and set his plate on the table, wrapping both arms around Dean once they were free.

Dean snuggled into his husband, and eventually finished his own meal, not leaving a single bit of food on his plate.  
Castiel smiled proudly, and kissed the top of Dean's head. "I'm so proud of you," he murmured.

Dean put the plate away, blushing a little gently rubbing his stomach as he continued to lean against Castiel.  
Castiel smiled softly, and held Dean close. "Tomorrow's Friday." he murmured. "Do you want me to drive you to see Benny?"

"You don't have to... But it would be nice if you did," Dean murmured.  
Castiel nodded. "I can do that," he murmured softly.

"Thank you," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek.  
Castiel smiled. "Anything for you," he replied.

Dean smiled too, and turned his eyes back to the tv.  
After a few hours, Castiel yawned loudly. "I'm getting tired," he murmured.

Dean nodded. "Okay... Let's go to bed then," he said, sitting up properly.

Castiel stretched and stood, yawning again. He was quite tired, and he went to retrieve his meds to take them before getting into bed, stripping down as usual.

Dean turned the tv off and went to the bathroom to wash his face, then headed to the bedroom to change into his sleeping clothes before joining Castiel in the bed.

Castiel pulled Dean in close, cuddling with his husband.

Dean snuggled up to Castiel, and closed his eyes.

Castiel kissed the top of his head. "Good night, Dean. I love you. Don't hesitate to wake me up for anything."

"Okay, if you say so, Cas," Dean murmured, wrapping an arm around Castiel.

Castiel kissed the top of his head again. "Of course," he whispered.

Dean smiled a little, and just laid there, listening to his husband breathing and feeling his warmth.

Castiel ended up falling asleep before Dean did.

Dean remained awake for a while, just listening and watching Castiel sleep, then finally let himself fall asleep.


	50. Chapter 50

Castiel slept lightly, waking whenever Dean so much as twitched in his arms. 

Dean started to shift and squirm in the middle of the night, making distressed noises.

Castiel woke immediately. "...Dean? Dean, wake up..." he murmured, shaking his shoulder gently.

"No..." Dean whispered in his sleep and rolled away from Castiel to curl up and hold his head in his hands.

Castiel shifted, shaking Dean's shoulder a little harder. "Dean! Wake up! It's just a dream, please wake up!"

Dean gasped as he woke up, but didn't move from where he was curled up.

Castiel hugged Dean close. "It's okay...It was just a dream." he murmured,

Dean covered his face with his hands and shook his head.

"I'm right here," Castiel whispered. "I'm right here, it's all right."

"It was dad... It... Fuck," Dean whispered.

Castiel held Dean close. "It's okay...it's okay, Dean." he whispered over and over.

Dean continued to shake his head, not uncovering his face. "He... he turned into Sam..."

Castiel held his husband tight. "Sam is not John, Dean. I only knew John for a little, but Sam is nothing like him."

Dean took a shaky breath. "I know.. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..."

"Don't apologize," Castiel whispered. "It's okay, it's all gonna be okay..."

Dean slowly brought his now shaky hands down from his face.

Castiel hugged his husband tightly. "Just breathe, breathe with me, okay?"

Dean nodded jerkily, and tried to match his breathing with Castiel's.

Castiel breathed slowly and deeply, trying to help Dean like Dean helped him all of the time.

Dean shook and twitched, but eventually he started to calm, his breathing matching Castiel's.

Castiel pressed gentle kisses to the back of Dean's neck.

Dean slowly relaxed, letting out a soft sigh. "That was a terrible dream..."

Castiel rubbed his back gently. "Want me to get you some milk and honey?" he asked softly.

"No, I- Well, yeah, but... Can you just... Continue to touch me gently, for a little longer...?" Dean asked.

Castiel nodded, and continued giving Dean gentle touches and kisses, along his shoulders and neck.

Dean sighed softly and relaxed further. "Thank you..."

"Anything for you," Castiel whispered softly.

Dean reached for and grabbed one of Castiel's hands.

Castiel laced their fingers together, squeezing gently. "I'm right here." He murmured.

Dean nodded. "Yeah... I know. I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too. More than anything." He whispered.

Dean shifted so that he could turn his head and look at Castiel.  
Castiel gave him a soft smile, and kissed his cheek.

Dean smiled a little. "You're the best," he murmured.  
Castiel just responded with a chaste kiss to Dean's lips

Dean smiled a little wider, and looked at Castiel while he shifted so that he was facing Castiel more.

Castiel smiled back. "What do you need from me?" He asked softly.

"Just you... I just need you," Dean replied, and pressed their foreheads together.  
Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean, kissing him softly. "You always have me."

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel in return, and kissed back. "That's good," he murmured.  
Castiel smiled gently, and kissed him again. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured. "More than anything."  
Castiel smiled softly, tracing over his husbands features with gentle fingers

Dean smiled too, and looked at Castiel with half open eyes. "See something you like?" he murmured.  
"Yes," Castiel murmured in reply. "A handsome, tender man that gave me the honor of being his husband."

"Because I love you... Because you're amazing. The best thing ever," Dean murmured.  
Castiel smiled softly. "I could say the same for you," he murmured.

Dean kissed Castiel on the lips, and smiled. "Good."  
Castiel smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," Dean said softly, smiling.  
Castiel kissed him again. "I don't think I'm going back to sleep." He admitted.

"... Wanna watch some tv or something? I don't want to sleep just yet..."  
"All right," Castiel murmured, slowly letting go of Dean so they could get up.

Dean got out of bed and stretched a little, then went out to the living room.  
Castiel grabbed an extra pillow and their blankets, going out and making a nest on the couch.

Dean smiled. "You really are the best," he said. "Best husband ever."

Castiel chuckled, and settled down, arms open for Dean to lay and cuddle against him.

Dean laid down and cuddled up against Castiel, sighing happily.

Castiel smiled softly, and gave Dean the remote to find something to watch.  
Dean browsed through netflix, and settled on some Batman cartoon series.  
Castiel chuckled, and gently played wit Deans hair as they watched.

 

Dean watched the cartoon, feeling relaxed and content, and for the moment forgetting all his worries.

Castiel just held his husband close, cuddling and enjoying their time together.

Eventually, Dean had a hard time keeping his eyes open, and fell asleep.

Castiel didn't mind, and stayed up a few more hours, watching Dean sleep before he joined him.

Dean woke up in the morning, feeling a bit disoriented as he wasn't in bed, but Castiel was still with him.

Castiel was asleep still, head cradled against a pillow and the back of the couch.

Dean watched his husband, remembering what happened last night, and started pressing soft kisses to Castiel's jaw, neck and shoulder.

Castiel stirred after a few minutes, blinking open tired eyes. "Mmmm...pleasant way to wake up," he murmured, tightening his grip around Dean slightly.

"Mornin'..." Dean murmured against Castiel's skin. "I briefly thought of a blowjob, but I was too comfy and I wasn't sure if it was appropriate..."

Castiel chuckled softly. "I wouldn't have minded," he murmured, gently tracing over Dean's jaw with his fingers.

Dean smiled softly, and turned his head to kiss Castiel's hand.

Castiel smiled softly. "I love you," he murmured. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good," Dean murmured. "Or well, lot better than yesterday... How are you?"  
"I'm fine. Happy you're doing better," he murmured, gently kissing Dean's cheek.

Dean smiled. "Yeah... What about I make breakfast today?" he suggested.  
"If you want to," Castiel murmured, resting back against the couch.

Dean gave Castiel another kiss, then got up and stretched before going into the kitchen.  
Castiel smiled softly as he watched his husband go into the kitchen, relaxing for a few moments before getting up to follow Dean in there.

Dean was preparing coffee for the two of them while he waited for the frying pan to heat up.

Castiel went up behind Dean and hugged him from behind, pressing a kiss to the nape of his neck.

Dean smiled softly. "I see you got a bit lonely on the couch," he murmured.

Castiel chuckled softly. "I just wanted to hold my husband. Is that so wrong?"

"Nah, it's not. I like it," Dean murmured. "You want your eggs fried or scrambled?"

"Scrambled, please." He murmured.

Dean nodded, grabbing some of the eggs that he'd put on the counter, and cracked them into the pan and set the shells aside.  
Castiel let go, leaning against the counter to watch his husband cook.

Dean hummed softly as he made scrambled eggs for them both.  
Castiel smiled softly, and soon went to hug Dean from behind again.

Dean chuckled softly, and leaned back into the hug.  
Castiel smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," Dean murmured.

Castiel kissed his cheek. 

Dean smiled widely.  
Castiel fit his arms around Dean's waist and leaned into him gently, not wanting to let go.

Dean turned the stove off when the eggs were ready and moved the pan to the side, then just stood there, letting Castiel hold him.  
Castiel let out a soft sigh. "I love you," he whispered. "And I'm just...scared. So scared." He admitted.

"I love you too, Cas... And what are you scared of?" Dean asked softly.  
"Losing you," he murmured. "Losing the life you've helped me build. Losing the little family I have."

Dean was quiet, then rested his hands on Castiel's arms. "I won't let that happen."  
Castiel nuzzled his face into Dean's toned shoulders. "I love you," he repeated softly.

"I love you too, Castiel," Dean murmured, stroking Castiel's arms with his thumbs.  
Castiel let out a soft sigh, and let Dean go so he could finish making breakfast.

Dean turned around and gave Castiel a kiss on the cheek, then went back to breakfast.  
Castiel smiled softly to the kiss, and helped out, pouring the coffee and making toast.

Dean fried a little bit of bacon too, then put everything on two plates.  
Castiel smiled and kissed his cheek as he walked by to set the coffee down on the table.

Dean smiled, and moments later he moved the plates to the table.  
Castiel took a seat, and prayed softly before they ate. "Thank you, for breakfast." He smiled at Dean.

Dean looked at him, surprised, then lowered his head a little. "You're welcome," he murmured.  
Castiel leaned over to kiss Dean's cheek.

Dean smiled softly as he let him.  
"So,what shall we do today?" He asked. "Your session isn't until five."

"I don't know... Maybe we could go out for a walk or something," Dean said.

"All right," Castiel smiled at his husband, continuing to eat. 

Dean smiled and also continued to eat, while thinking of other things they could waste time doing.

"Oh, that reminds me. Would you mind modeling for me for the next few days?" He asked. "I have to paint a picture of something I find to be beautiful."

Dean paused and looked at Castiel in surprise, then ducked his head. "Y-yeah, sure, why not," he murmured. "I can model for you."  
Castiel smiled softly. "You're my husband. Of course I find you beautiful."

Dean smiled lightly,. "Yeah, I guess, I just... To hear it. It's... Nice."  
Castiel smiled. "You're beautiful, Dean Winchester." He murmured.

Dean chuckled softly. "Thank you," he murmured.

Castiel smiled, kissing him again. "So beautiful.."

Dean lifted his head, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel smiled, and kissed back sweetly.

"I love you," Dean murmured softly.

"I love you," Castiel whispered. "More than anything."

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel again, gently and sweetly.

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean once more, and then again.

Dean chuckled softly, and grinned at his husband.

Castiel grinned back. "I love you."

Instead of saying "I love you too", Dean grinned wider. "Wanna show me how much you love me?" he asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Castiel chuckled. "What do you have in mind?" He purred into Dean's ear, nipping at the earlobe.

Dean hummed softly. "I don't know yet, but it's far from innocent," he murmured.

Castiel smiled. "Shall I bring Angel to the table, or do you want it to be me?"

"Yeah... I want my husband," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled. "All right," he murmured back, hugging Dean close. "I'll take care of the dishes if you want to go to the bedroom."

Dean grinned. "All right. I'll go to the bedroom," he said, and put his arms around Castiel in return.

Castiel smiled and kissed his husband before standing to clear away the table.

Dean went to the living room to grab the pillows and blankets from the couch to bring them back to the bedroom. When he got into the bedroom, he got naked, and then laid down on the bed. 

Castiel joined him in the bedroom not much later, his eyes lingering over Dean's body. "What do you have in mind?" He smiled, voice husky as he started getting undressed as well.

Dean stretched out and arched his back a little. "I was thinking of cuddles," he said jokingly.

Castiel chuckled, and finished getting naked, already half hard. "All right then," he teased, crawling into bed next to Dean.

Dean grinned as he grabbed Castiel's hips and pulled him closer. "We've got a lot of time to waste today..."

Castiel smiled. "You have a few things in mind, I take it?" He whispered, kissing Dean's neck sweetly.

"Mmh... I might have some, yeah," Dean murmured. "It involves a lot of kissing, touching, several orgasms, and someone getting their cock squeezed by a tight ass..."

Castiel smiled softly. "I'm liking the sound of this," he murmured. "I do have one question, though...who's cock is getting squeezed?"

"Whichever you prefer, I'm not picky," Dean answered, and kissed Castiel's nose.

"I think...I'd like you to top right now." He murmured.

"With pleasure," Dean purred, and pressed their foreheads together.

Castiel smiled. "And later, I might want to top you." He purred. "But we need a certain something for that."

Dean grinned. "It's right where we left it last time," he said, rubbing Castiel's hip.

Castiel smiled softly, and got up to retrieve the cock ring, and then digging into the closet to pull out a slim silver vibrator he had bought.

Dean quirked a brow. "What's that you've got there, babe?" he asked.

Castiel smiled, crawling back onto the bed. "Something I thought we both might enjoy," he murmured, brushing the tip of it along Dean's length, turning on the lowest vibration setting.

Dean gasped softly at the feeling and his cock twitched, then thickened further. "Oh fuck.... That's so weird- and so awesome..." 

Castiel smiled, and switched it off, before showing Dean how to work it and handing it to him.

Dean smiled as he took the vibrator into his hand. "I think I'll like this..." he murmured, and gently ran the tip over Castiel's chest and stomach.

Castiel shuddered, his cock twitching.

Dean turned it on the low setting, and ghosted the tip over Castiel's nipples.

Castiel gasped, his back arcing up at the touch. "Fuck," he cursed softly.

Dean grinned as he got on all fours above Castiel, and started to kiss his neck while teasing his nipples with gentle rubs and pinches and the vibrator.

Castiel started breathing hard, the sensations wonderful and teasing. He was fully hard after only a few minutes of this.

Dean loved the way Castiel reacted, and he marked the skin on his husband's neck. Soon he moved the vibrator down Castiel's body, running the tip along his hard length, then reached further to press the vibrator against his balls.

Castiel let out a mewling noise, shuddering as a spurt of precome leaked out of the tip.

"You really like this, huh?" Dean whispered, and rubbed the vibrator through the precome, then rubbed the vibrator over Castiel's length.

Castiel gasped and shudder, before pushing the vibrator away. "Stop, stop, don't wanna come yet." He gasped, trembling.

Dean turned the vibrator off, and focused on kissing and sucking on Castiel's neck.

Castiel shuddered, and let himself calm down a little.

Dean kissed his way up to Castiel's jaw, then his cheek and finally his lips.

Castiel kissed his husband back, nipping softly on the lower lip.   
Dean set the vibrator aside to run his hands over Castiel's body.  
Castiel's muscles rippled under the touch, and he let out a soft moan.

"You're so perfect..." Dean whispered. "And you're only mine..."

"Only yours," Castiel whispered in agreement.

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel deeply.

Castiel kissed back,wrapping his arms around his husband and holding him close.

Dean pressed his body against Castiel's, moaning softly into the kiss as their lengths pressed together.

Castiel moaned as well, pressing his hips up and rocking into Dean's.

Dean kissed Castiel harder and rolled his hips, the precome smearing over their lengths and stomachs.

Castiel mew led and whimpered, his erection throbbing. "Dean..." He moaned the other's name.

"Such a good husband, Cas... You're so good for me," Dean whispered. "I want to come inside of you... Maybe I should open you up with that pretty toy you bought?"

Castiel whimpered softly. "I...I'd like that." He whispered. "But it's nothing compared to having your cock inside of me..."

"Oh? So you've tried it?" Dean asked, smiling. "Did you push it inside, while imagining it was my fingers or cock?"

Castiel's cheeks turned red. "Y-yes..." He whispered.

Dean pressed a kiss to Castiel's ear. "Did it feel good when you pushed it inside, pressed it against that sweet spot and let it vibrate until you came all over yourself?" he murmured, voice low.

Castiel whimpered, his erection twitching. "Not as good as you do..." He whispered in return.

Dean licked his lips at that. "... Well, I'll make sure that you won't be coming until I'm inside of you, honey."

Castiel shuddered slightly, and kissed Dean again before reaching to grab the lube.

Dean kissed at Castiel's collarbone. "Do you need a finger or two before the vibrator?" he asked. 

"Yeah, at least one." He murmured softly.

"Okay," Dean nodded, and took the lube from his husband, slicking up two of his fingers.

Castiel spread his legs, giving Dean access to everything.

Dean rubbed his finger over Castiel's entrance. He kissed his husband on the lips, while gently working a finger inside.

Castiel relaxed and opened up to Dean's finger, letting out a soft sigh into Dean's mouth.

Dean worked his finger in and out, then added another when Castiel felt relaxed enough.

Castiel smiled softly, and rocked his hips into Dean's fingers. "Why don't you get the cock ring," he suggested softly. "So I don't finish too quickly."

Dean smiled. "Good idea," he murmured, and pulled his fingers out carefully. He wiped his hand on the sheets, then grabbed the cockring .

Castiel adjusted his cock for Dean to put it on him.

Dean put the cock ring on Castiel, then grinned as he locked it in place. "This looks really good on you..."

Castiel blushed softly. "I enjoy how it looks on you, too." He smiled.

"You're so sweet," Dean chuckled, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back. "Please, I'm feeling empty." He whispered.

"Do you still want me to use the toy on you, or are you desperate for my cock?" Dean asked.

"Tease me with the toy, and make me come on your cock." Castiel whispered breathily.

Dean smiled. "Good boy," he purred softly as he picked up the vibrator and applied some lube to it, then teasingly rubbed it between Castiel's asscheeks.

Castiel whimpered softly. The vibrator had four different speeds, and he had only been using the lowest. But he was pretty sure Dean was going to turn it up once it was inside of him.

Dean gently pushed the vibrator into his husband, and slowly work it in and out to loosen Castiel up a bit further. Then he turned it on, on the lowest level.

Castiel jumped slightly, and let out a whimper, clamping down on it as his erection twitched,

Dean's eyes were big and dark with arousal as he sat back on his heels and watched his husband's reaction. He continued to move the vibrator in and out in a steady pace.

Castiel was panting, clearly on the edge, but unable to come thanks to the cock ring.

Dean licked his lips, and turned the vibrator up one more level.

Castiel cried out, his body trembling.

"Does that feel good, Cas...? Damn, bet you're gonna be so sensitive after this," Dean murmured, gently rubbing Castiel's hip.

Castiel cried out again. "Oh fuck oh fuck..." He moaned, shifting his hips and letting out a scream as it shifted to press against his prostate.

Dean breathed heavily, and didn't up the speed more. It was only to tease, Castiel, after all. "You're so hot... So damn hot," he murmured.

 

Castiel was writhing, and begging to come, his erection throbbing.

Dean continued to push the vibrating toy in and out of his husband for a while longer, before carefully pulling it out and turning it off.

Castiel's hips were still jerking, his face red. He cried out, empty without the toy, and bucked his hips against nothing.

Dean quickly slicked himself up with some lube, then gently grabbed Castiel's hips. "Soon, babe- I promise, you'll get to come soon, but I promised you my cock first..." he murmured as he positioned himself, then started to push inside.

Castiel cried out, pressing back against Dean so he would be filled a little faster, clenching down on Dean's cock.

Dean groaned at the feeling, and simply just grinded against Castiel's ass after he'd bottomed out.

Castiel was twitching, Dean grinding against his prostate, but unable to come. He cried out over and over.

The way Castiel clenched around him would make it impossible to keep it up for long, so Dean started to thrust in and out of Castiel, and after a minute he removed the cock ring.

The moment the cock ring was off, Castiel let out a wail as he came hard over their stomachs.

Dean moaned and continued to move his hips, thrusting in and out until he came inside of his husband.

Castiel shuddered at the feeling of Dean spilling himself inside of him, and he held Dean close, breathing hard.

Dean pressed his face into Castiel's neck, panting. "Wow..." he whispered.

"Yeah..." Castiel agreed softly.

Dean kissed Castiel's neck gently.

Castiel smiled softly. "I love you, Dean Winchester."

"I love you too, Castiel Winchester," Dean murmured.

Castiel smiled at the name. "Did you enjoy the vibrator?" He asked softly.

"Hell yeah, I did..." Dean grinned. "We're so using it again."

Castiel chuckled. "Next time, I'm using it on you." He replied.

Dean blinked, his cheeks turning red.

Castiel chuckled. "It feels amazing," he replied.

"Yeah... It was kinda hard to miss. You were gorgeous, losing it like that," Dean murmured, kissing Castiel's cheek.

Castiel turned red. "I can't wait to see you in the same position," he murmured.

Dean chuckled softly, and wrapped his arms around Castiel. "I look forward to it..."

Castiel smiled, and hugged Dean, cuddling close.

"I love you Cas," Dean murmured.

"As I love you," he murmured.  
They got cleaned up and dressed again, going out for a walk until it was time for Dean's regular session with Benny.


	51. Chapter 51

Dean didn't really want to go to his session with Benny, having been happy just spending his day with Castiel, but went to see Benny anyway like he always did.

Benny gave him a smile. "Hello, brother." He greeted. Dean's usual seat was in front of Benny. "How has your day been? You look cheerful."

Dean sat down and leaned back. "Dude, I've had a really awesome day - for once," he admitted, smiling softly.

Benny smiled. "Great news. What happened?" He asked.

Dean bit his lip. "... Something really bad has happened, but... My husband's been taking care of me, especially last night, and I just... It just felt good. Letting go and letting someone else take the wheel..."

Benny nodded. "You don't have to burden the responsibility for everything, brother." He replied, as usual not pushing Dean for details of the bad, knowing he would talk about them when he was ready. "How were you last night, Mentally?"

"Well... I felt good enough to eat, but I was exhausted and didn't really want to do anything. I felt a bit like... No, I did feel like I failed. So bad, that I had a really bad nightmare..."

Benny nodded. "And I take it your husband helped you through it?"

"Yeah, he did. He's really awesome. I'm really happy to have him," Dean said.

Benny nodded with a smile. "So what else went on this past week, brother?" He asked.

Dean stilled, then scratched the side of his neck. "... My husband was fired from his job because of a bullshit reason, and my brother..." He swallowed and pressed his lips together. "... He came to me asking for help, so now he's in rehab."

Benny nodded. "So it's been a. Rough week for you," he murmured.

"Yeah... It really has," Dean mumbled, and nodded. "I'm... When I think about it, I'm kind of just waiting for something else to happen. Don't know why, I just... The week isn't over. Something else could happen..."

Benny sighed, leaning back in his chair. "That tends to happen when life hits you all at once." He murmured. "How you been treating those thighs of yours?"

"A lot better... I try to keep my hands busy so I don't scratch and stuff," Dean said.

Benny nodded. "Ice cube when it gets bad, or have you found something different?"

"Well... Music kinda helps. Helps block out people and stuff and just... Makes me more relaxed, I guess."

Benny nodded. "Just be careful about that, sometimes certain songs turn into triggers." He replied.

"... Really? Aw, man..." Dean sighed heavily and ran a hand over his hair.

Benny nodded. "Listen to the same song every time you feel low, and eventually when you hear the song, it makes you low. Best way to avoid that and still use music as a coping mechanism is to listen to different songs every time."

Dean chewed on his lip. "That's so annoying... But okay. I'll remember that," he said.

"I know, brother." Benny nodded. "Just trying to help you out."

"Yeah, I know... And I'm really happy that you are, honestly."

Benny gave Dean a smile. "It's what I'm here for," he pointed out. "So, you thinking you ever gonna have kids?"

Dean blinked, then let out a heavy breath. "I don't.... I'd like to, but I just... I don't think it'd work."

"Why not?" Benny asked. "And I'm not judging, but you say you would like to. What's stopping you?"

"... My father wasn't a good father and I'm partly at fault for my brother being a druggy currently in rehab, and I'm just not... Father material." 

"Hang on," Benny replied. "Did you give your brother the drugs?"

"What? No! Christ, no, no... Someone at his school, who was supposed to be his friend, got him hooked..."

"Then how is it your fault, if you had nothing to do with it?"

"Well... Me, my brother and my husband all come from Lawrence, Kansas. My father died in my last year of high school, and I got custody of Sam. And then... My husband, then fiancé... Got accepted into college, first choice. Full ride. And we moved here. Only thing is that... I had Cas, Cas had me, but Sam... His friends and girlfriend are in Lawrence. He was all alone and when he spent more time out with friends or at the library I just... Thought nothing of it. I wasn't there for him, I didn't notice a single thing..." Dean covered his face with his hands. "The only thing I did right was that I gave him a cat. A /cat/."

"And there's nothing wrong with giving him a cat." Benny replied. "Was he objecting to moving here?"

"He did it for my sake," Dean said simply.   
"And why was that?" Benny asked.

"... Because he wanted me to be happy."  
"But he made the choice himself, right?"

"It's complicated... It was either we stay in Kansas, he'd be happy. We came to California, I'm happy... And if he stayed and I went we'd be miserable cause he'd be in foster care..." Dean took a deep breath. "... But yeah, he... He said that we should go. And here I am."  
Benny nodded in understanding. "But what would you have done if he vehemently wanted to stay?"

"... He's my brother, I... I would have stayed. I would have gone to California to visit Cas as often as I could..."  
Benny nodded. "So you didn't force him to move. He made his own choice."

Dean's shoulders slumped. "... I guess he did," he mumbled.  
"And he made his own choice to start drugs. I'm not saying it was a good choice, or a smart choice, but it was still his choice."

Dean looked down at his feet as he listened to Benny.  
"If it was his choice to make, and you didn't offer him the drugs, then how is it your fault?"

"... I wasn't there for him... I... Fuck. I got no clue," Dean mumbled.  
"But you were there for him," Benny pointed out. "What did you do when he told you?"

"... I took him to a doctor the first the next day, then me and Cas drove him to a rehab yesterday..."  
Benny nodded. "So the moment you knew, you helped." He replied. "You were there for him,"

Dean sighed quietly, still looking at his feet. "I guess..."

"So if you were there for him, you didn't force him to move, and you didn't give him the drugs, are you to blame?"

"... If you look at it like that, then... No, I guess," Dean mumbled.

"So don't blame yourself, brother." Benny replied.

Dean didn't dare to look up, and just nodded slightly.

Benny reached over to pat Dean's shoulder.

Dean glanced up at Benny. "... You're pretty awesome."

Benny smiled. "I try, brother." He replied. "So, what else has been going on?"

"Uhm... Not much else, really," Dean murmured. "Not that I can think of right now, at least."

Benny nodded. "There's still fifteen minutes, but I'm not stopping you if you want to end the session early.

Dean thought about it. "... Yeah, I wanna go home to Cas," he said.

Benny nodded. "Take care then, and I'll see you. Next week."

"Yeah, yeah too. See you next week," Dean said as he got up, then turned around and left.

Castiel was in the Impala, reading a book as he waited.

Dean went out to the car, and gently tapped the car window get Castiel's attention.

Castiel looked up, and gave Deana. Soft smile as he unlocked the door. "How did it go?" He asked.

"I think it went well," Dean said as he got into the car, and gave Castiel a kiss on the cheek.

Castiel smiled, and pecked Dean's lips sweetly.

Dean smiled softly, and looked at his husband. "What were you reading?"

"Les Miserables. Charlie recommended it, it's quite good." Castiel replied.

"It sounds pretty sad," Dean joked. "What is it about?"

"It basically follows the journey of a man who was convicted to nineteen years of jail for stealing a loaf of bread in pre-napoleonic France." Castiel chuckled.

"Man... That's tough," Dean murmured, making a face. 

Castiel chuckled. "There's more to it, but it's very complex."

Dean pouted with his lips. "Complex, huh. Is there a movie based on it or something?"

"There is, we can look on Netflix. It's a musical though."

"... A musical. Are you serious?"  
Castiel nodded. "It has Hugh Jackman, Russell Crowe, Anne Hathaway..."

Dean have a low whistle. "And they're all singing?"  
"All singing," Castiel confirmed.

"Mmh... Well, it won't hurt checking it out, I guess."

Castiel chuckled. "Want to watch it when we get home?"

"Sure, why not," Dean said, smiling.

Castiel smiled to. "why don't we get some Chinese? I don't feel much like cooking tonight."

"Chinese sounds good," Dean agreed with a nod, and kissed Castiel's cheek. 

Castiel smiled, and on the way home they stopped by their favourite Chinese place to pick up dinner.

Dean helped Castiel carry the food upstairs to their apartment, and he let out a soft sigh as they got inside. "It's good to be home..."

The cats ran up to greet them, purring and rubbing against their legs.

Dean chuckled softly. "Hi ladies," he said.

Castiel smiled, and went to set the food down in the kitchen, picking Pirate up and kissing the top of her head.

Dean picked up Daenerys, and she nuzzled her head into Dean's neck.

Castiel smiled at the sight, and set Pirate back down after a few moments, gettingt heir food ready to eat.

Dean moved to the couch and browsed through netflix to find the "Les Miserable" movie.

Castiel went into the living room with two plates, handing Dean one with a. Smile.

Dean smiled at Castiel, letting Daenerys down as he accepted the plate.

Castiel sat down and prayed softly, before they began to eat and watch the movie.

Dean's eyes were focused on the tv, and he ate slowly, surprisingly not making any comments.

Castiel ate at his normal pace, leaning into Dean and cuddling with him.

Dean turned his head at one point and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled softly, and leaned into Dean a little more.

Dean smiled, and continued to watch the movie.

When the movie ended, Castiel looked at Dean. "What do you think?" He asked.

"It was pretty good," Dean said. "For being a musical."

Castiel chuckled. "You just have a crush on Hugh Jackman," he teased.

"... Okay, yeah. I do. Have you seen him in Wolverine? Like... Hot damn."

Castiel laughed. "Have to agree with you there," he smiled, kissing Dean's cheek.

Dean smiled. "But I think my biggest crush is on you," he said.

Castiel chuckled. "I knew there was a reason you married me."

Dean grinned, and leaned close to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, hands coming up to cup Dean's cheeks, feeling the stubble he was so fond of.

Dean smiled and deepened the kiss a little, and put an arm around Castiel.

Castiel smiled into the kiss, and when they broke apart, he tucked his face against Dean's shoulder.

Dean put his other arm around Castiel too, and sighed happily.

Castiel smiled. "I'm still not as hot as Hugh Jackman, though. Sorry."

"Mmh, I don't mind, because Hugh Jackman isn't as beautiful as you," Dean murmured.

Castiel just smiled softly, and rest a hand over Dean's heart.

Dean smiled, gently rubbing Castiel's lower back.

Castiel kissed Dean's collarbone, trailing kisses along it.

Dean just continued to smile, and enjoyed the kisses.

Castiel smiled. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too, Cas," Dean whispered back.

Castiel cuddled against his husband. "I don't know what I would do without you."

"Good thing you don't have to be without me," Dean said, holding Castiel.

Castiel smiled. "A very good thing," he murmured, yawning slightly.

"Sounds like it's time for bed," Dean said, gently tapping Castiel's nose with his finger.

Castiel grunted softly. "But that requires moving."

Dean chuckled softly. "It does. But our bed is more comfortable than the couch."

"Only if you're in it," Castiel murmured softly

Dean smiled. "Yeah, okay. I'll join you in bed."

Castiel smiled, and got up, stretching a little.

Dean got up too, and took the dishes into the kitchen.

Castiel went to strip and get ready for bed, crawling under the covers.

Dean came to the bedroom and stripped down too, then joined Castiel in bed.

Castiel cuddled close to his husband, and kissed him soft and slow.

Dean kissed back gently, and wrapped his arms around Castiel.

When the kiss broke, Castiel murmured "I want to make love to you. No toys, no extras. Just us."

Dean looked Castiel in the eye. "... I'm okay with that," he murmured, and pressed a quick kiss to Castiel's lips.

Castiel leaned in again, kissing Dean soft and slow and pressing their bodies together, craving the closeness.

Dean sighed contentedly into the kiss, and slowly rubbed Castiel's back.

Castiel threw a leg over Dean's waist, drawing him closer. "I want to feel you, every single part of you," he whispered.

Dean smiled softly. "All of me belongs to you," he murmured, pressing himself against Castiel.

"As all of me belongs to you," Castiel replied, kissing down Dean's jaw, nipping and sucking an the earlobe.

Dean hummed softly, and reached down to caress Castiel's ass and thigh.

Castiel's breathing hitched softly, and he let out a breathy noise into Dean's ear.

Dean licked his lips, and pressed soft kissed to Castiel's neck.

Castiel let out a soft, content sigh, turning over onto his back so Dean was above him.

Dean ran his hands up and down Castiel's sides, and kissed Castiel's neck and collarbones.

Castiel shuddered under the kisses. "I love you," he whispered. "So much..."

Dean kissed Castiel's jaw. "I love you too, Cas... More than anything..."

Castiel kissed Dean's lips, his hands running over Dean's sides and chest.

Dean kissed back, gently caressing Castiel's thighs.

Castiel's hands were running all over Dean's body, wanting to feel every part of him, lines he had memorized long ago.

Dean let out soft, breathy sounds, muscles moving under his skin as he shifted and moved his arms.

Castiel leaned up to kiss and nip at Dean's neck, sucking a mark right where his neck became shoulder.

Dean slowly rolled his hips against Castiel's, and closed his eyes for a moment.

Castiel let out a soft gasp. It had been a long time since they'd just made love, no toys or role playing or anything like that, and Castiel found he had missed it.

Dean ran his hands over Castiel's torso and thighs, fingers tracing the scars or just brushing over them.

Castiel shivered at the touch. "With you, I feel good again." He whispered. "Like my skin is smooth, no blemishes or scars."

Dean kissed Castiel. "I don't mind the scars... I love you, I care about /you/, not what you look like..."

Castiel kissed back. "And that is precisely why you make me feel beautiful." He whispered.

Dean stopped touching Castiel, so he could cup his husband's face with his hands.  
Castiel smiled softly. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too," Dean whispered, smiling. He kissed Castiel sweetly on the lips.  
Castiel kissed back. "I love you too," he murmured.

Dean caressed Castiel's face, then moved his hands down Castiel's body again.

Castiel closed his eyes and let the sensations course through him.

Dean ran his hand up Castiel's sides, then along his arms, and gently took Castiel's hands in his own as he rolled his hips again.

Castiel let out a soft noise, squeezing Dean's hand gently. His boxers were starting to get damp with precome.

Dean gently and slowly kissed Castiel's cheek, jaw and neck.

Castiel started to slowly rock his hips against Dean, turning his head to expose more of his neck.

Dean kissed Castiel's neck, then slowly and gently sucked a mark on the skin.

Castiel let out soft noises and whimpers, his hands on Dean's waist.

Dean had one hand on Castiel's shoulder, and the other was buried in Castiel's hair, while he kissed and sucked marks on his husband's neck.

Castiel was moaning and shuddering, his hips bucking up, trying to find some kind of stimulation.

Dean made a soft noise and moved his hands again, reaching down to push down Castiel's boxers.

Castiel lifted his hips to help Dean out, his erection full and aching. He was still loose from their earlier round, so stretching really wouldn't be needed.

Dean pulled off Castiel's boxers, then pulled off his own and tossed both on the floor. He pressed their hips together again, moaning as their erections rubbed against each other, then reached for the lube.

Castiel moaned in returned, rocking their hips together and enjoying the feeling. His nails dug into Dean's back slightly as he hugged his husband close.

Dean made a noise at the feeling, not minding the slight sting at all, and grabbed the lube. He used one hand to gently coax Castiel's legs open.

Castiel spread his legs easily, leaning up to kiss Dean's lips.

Dean kissed back gently as he opened the cap on the lube, pouring a little on two fingers. He reached between Castiel's legs and rubbed his fingers over his entrance, then dipped his fingers inside to the first knuckle to see how loose he was. Seeing as he was loose enough, Dean pulled his hand back and slicked his erection with a generous amount of lube.

Castiel spread his legs further, wanting to have Dean inside as soon as he could.

Dean wrapped an arm around Castiel's waist and used his free hand to guide his cock. He rubbed the tip against Castiel's entrance for a moment, then started to slowly push inside.

Castiel gasped and groaned, loving. The feeling of being stretched open around Dean's cock.

Dean moaned softly as he bottomed out, holding onto Castiel's hips with both hands.

Castiel panted softly, looking at Dean with love and want in his eyes.

Dean looked back at Castiel with a soft smile, and kissed him lovingly on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, lifting his legs and draping them over Dean's hips.

Dean started to move his hips, slowly thrusting in and out of his husband.

Castiel whimpered, and held Dean close.

"I love you," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

"I love you too," Castiel gasped, rocking his hips.

Dean rubbed his thumbs over Castiel's hipbones, and continued to thrust in the same, slow pace.

Castiel whimpered, and gently squeezed and milked Dean's erection.

Dean moaned at the feeling, and peppered Castiel's neck with slow kisses.

Castiel shivered, and rocked his hips, his erection rubbing between their stomachs.

Dean ran one hand up and down Castiel's side, fingers lightly tracing over his scars.

Castiel shivered and moaned. "Faster, please..." He whispered.

"Okay," Dean murmured, and picked up the pace of his thrusts.

Castiel whimpered, and spasmed when Dean found the angle to hit his prostate, moaning loudly.

Dean groaned at the feeling of Castiel squeezing around him, and made sure to brush against his prostate with each thrust.

Castiel shuddered. "Oh God...Dean, M close, so close..." He whimpered.

"It's okay, Cas... It's okay... You can come," Dean told him, getting closer to his own orgasm.

Castiel whimpered, and after a few more hits to his prostate, clenched down as he came over their stomachs.

Dean groaned as his cock was squeezed. He thrusted a few more times, before he stilled and came inside of his husband.

Castiel was panting as he slumped back to the bed, eyes closed.

Dean rested his forehead on Castiel's shoulder, breathing heavily.

Castiel kept his legs around Dean, keeping him inside. "That felt amazing." He whispered.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, it really did," he murmured.

Castiel kissed Dean's cheek. "I love you so much. And I don't think I'll ever be tired of having sex with you."

Dean chuckled. "I really hope you won't, because I really prefer sex over masturbating..."

"Same here," Castiel murmured, finally lowering his legs.

Dean nuzzled Castiel's neck, before slowly pulling out.

Castiel made a face as come started dripping out.

Dean recognized the face Castiel made, and looked at him. "... Does it really feel that bad?"

"It's just...weird, and a little uncomfortable." Castiel replied. "But it's not that I don't enjoy barebacking." He murmured. "I much prefer it to you wearing a condom."

Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, if you say so... And yeah. I don't ever want to wear a condom again, unless I have to," he murmured.

"I promise," Castiel murmured, kissing Dean's lips. "How about next time I get in the mood to top, I'll make sure to come inside so you can feel, okay?"

"Mmh... Okay, sounds good," Dean murmured, and kissed back gently.

Castiel hugged him close, letting out a soft, happy sigh.

Dean smiled softled, and wrapped his arms around Castiel.

Castiel cuddled close, closing his eyes and falling asleep

Dean shifted a bit to get comfortable, and then closed his eyes and went to sleep as well.


	52. Chapter 52

A week passed, and Dean's phone rang with a call from the facility where Sam was staying.

Dean answered the call. "Hello?"

"Hey Dean" Sam replied, his voice already sounding so much better.

"Sammy!" Dean grinned widely, excited to hear from his brother. "Man, it's good to hear your voice again..."

"Yeah, I know what you mean." Sam replied. "How's everything? Cas, the cats?"

"Cas is good and the cats are lazy, like always. It's weird not having you here though. Dany keeps calling for you, too."  
"I miss her too. It's been pretty good here, I'm doing much better, Dean."

"That's good to hear, Sammy. You made any friends?"  
"A few. We aren't allowed to know last names, but there's a girl, Amelia, who's going through something similar,"

"Yeah? It's good that you have someone to spend time with over there."  
"Yeah. And the staff is really nice," Sam replied.

Dean smiled lightly. "Are they giving you enough food?"  
"Yeah, we can order whatever we want off a menu."

"Sounds awesome. Is it any good, then?"  
"Depends on what you order. Their breakfast foods are to die for."

"Really? Awesome. Seems like you did the right thing, going to that place."  
"Yeah...it's really helping. I'm getting through the worst of the withdrawal, and learning to cope with the depression and the urges to relapse."

"I'm happy it's working for you, Sammy," Dean murmured.  
"Well, I gotta go. Listen...is it all right if I use my call next week for Jess?"

"Yeah, sure. You can use the rest of the calls for her, too, 'cause I know you miss her more than me and Cas. I just... Needed to hear that it's helping you."  
"I'll alternate," he promised. "Two for you, two for Jess."

"Sam, you don't have to..." Dean said softly.  
"Yes, I do." Sam replied. "I really gotta go. I'll talk to you in a few weeks." He hung up.

Dean looked at his phone, then put it away and ran his hands through his hair.  
Castiel was out getting groceries, so he had missed Sam's call. He came home about ten minutes later. "Home,"

"Hey Cas," Dean called back from the couch. "Sam called."  
"How's he doing?" Castiel asked, taking some groceries to the kitchen. "I could use some help, by the way, there's a giant bag of rice in the car."

"I'll help you," Dean said and got off the couch, then went to put his shoes on. "Sam's doing good."  
"That's great," Castiel smiled, giving Dean a kiss before they went down to get some more groceries.

Dean didn't say more about it as they got the rest of the groceries into the apartment.  
"So, he sounded okay?" Castiel asked.

"Mh? Oh, yeah, yeah... He did," Dean replied. "His voice sounded more normal... Like he's been sleeping really well."  
Castiel smiled softly. "That's great." He murmured.

"Yeah..." Dean nodded in agreement.  
Castiel gave Dean a hug. "What would you like for dinner?" He asked.

"Uh... Potatoes and something, I guess," Dean said, returning the hug.  
"How about potatoes and hamburger helper?" Castiel suggested.

"Mmh, that sounds good," Dean murmured.  
Castiel leaned up to kiss Dean's cheek,

Dean smiled a little, and hugged Castiel close.

Castiel hugged his husband in return. "I love you."

"I love you too," Dean murmured, squeezing Castiel gently.

Castiel leaned up to kiss Dean's lips before he let go so he could put the groceries away and start making dinner.

Dean left Castiel to it, knowing that he'd just be in the way, and went back to the couch.

Castiel hummed to himself as he made dinner

Dean watched some cartoon on netflix to waste time.

Nice dinner was ready, Castiel went up behind Dean on the couch and wrapped his arms around his husband.

Dean smiled as he felt the arms around him. "Hey," he murmured.

"Hi," Castiel murmured, nuzzling their cheeks together.

Dean hummed happily and closed his eyes for the moment. "You're adorable."

"I'm manly as hell," Castiel replied, chuckling.

"Aw. All right, if you say so, manly, adorable husband of mine," Dean said, grinning.

Castiel stuck his tongue out, and his hands moved to tickle Dean's sides.

Dean squeaked and tensed up, which only made it worse and he started to laugh. "Cas!"

Castiel grinned, and continued to tickle his husband.

Dean laughed and squirmed, and tried to worm his way away from Castiel's hands.

Castiel tumbled over the back of the couch, laughing as he went for Dean's sides again.

Dean laughed so hard he had tears in his eyes, and he grabbed at Castiel's shoulders in an attempt to make him stop.

Castiel finally stopped, and grinned widely, laughing as well.

Dean gradually stopped laughing and gasped for air, his face red. "You're evil," he said, with no heat behind it.

Castiel leaned in to kiss Dean's lips. "You love me regardless." He smiled.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's neck to pull him closer. "Yeah, I do."

Castiel smiled. "Anyways, dinner's ready." He chuckled.

Dean pouted. "You owe me cuddles, after we've eaten."

"I will gladly give you cuddles," Castiel smiled, kissing the tip of Dean's nose.

"Good, 'cause I demand lots of them," Dean murmured, kissing Castiel's lips before letting go of him.

Castiel smiled. "I know," he replied, getting off the couch, his hair completely messy.

"... You've got hair that screams "I just had sex"," Dean commented as he also got up.

Castiel chuckled. "Or hair that screams "I just got in a tickle fight with my husband"

Dean pouted. "More like "I tickled my husband half to death."

"You enjoy it when I have my hands on you," Castiel winked, serving their plates.

Dean got up behind Castiel, and whispered in his ear. "Mhmm, you do have very nice hands..."

Castiel shivered softly.

"So pretty, elegant, and so soft..." Dean kissed Castiel's ear, and then stepped back.

Castiel shivered at the kiss, and finished serving dinner. "I still prefer your hands," he replied.

"Oh, really now?" Dean asked, smiling and raising a brow.

"They're loving and gentle, and know exactly where to touch." He smiled.

Dean hummed softly. "Because I can't keep my hands off you for too long."

"And I am perfectly all right with that," Castiel smiled.

Dean grinned. "Awesome. Now let's eat. I'm hungry."

Castiel prayed, and they ate happily.

When he'd finished his meal, Dean leaned back in his chair and gently patted his stomach.

Castiel smiled. "Good?"

"Very good," Dean said with a nod, and smiled.

Castiel smiled, and cleaned away their plates and out the leftovers away.

Dean remained in his seat while he watched Castiel, a small smile on his face.

Castiel hummed thoughtfully. "Why don't we go on a date tonight?" He suggested.

"Well, sure, that would be fun. Maybe we can go see a movie or something?"

"What would you think about going bowling?" Castiel suggested.

Dean grinned. "That would be awesome!"

Castiel laughed. "There's a coupon, unlimited bowling for two for 20$."

"Really? Oh man, that's awesome. I don't remember the last time I went bowling."

Castiel laughed. "Well, let's go then!"

Dean grinned and got up, and gave Castiel a kiss. "You're the best."

Castiel smiled softly, and went to get dressed to go out and bowl.

Dean also got ready to go out, and when they were both ready, he grabbed the keys and they went out to the car.

Dean smiled as he started the car and drove off.

Castiel made sure they had the coupon and the money ready when they pulled into the parking lot.

Dean parked the car, muttering something about idiots not knowing how to park, and got out.

Castiel gave Dean his hand, smiling softly. 

Dean laced their fingers together and smiled.

Castiel squeezed his hand gently as they walked in.

They were greeted by a guy who didn't look older than they were. "Hello, and welcome. What can I do for you?"  
"Hello, we have this coupon, and would like to rent a lane." Castiel replied.

"Of course," the man said. He took the coupon and the money. "What shoe sizes do you have?" he asked.  
"Nine and a half," Castiel replied.

"Ten and a half," Dean said.  
The guy nodded and went away, then came back with two pair of shoes. "Here you go. You two have fun."  
"Thank you," Castiel smiled happily, walking with Dean to put the shoes on.

Dean made a face after he put the shoes on. "It's a good thing that bowling is fun..."  
Castiel chuckled, and went to pick out a ball. He settled on a medium weight one.

Dean picked up a few balls to see how they felt, before he settled on one that was a little heavier than the one Castiel chose.  
Castiel picked a lane, going to enter their names in the computer. Dean was player one, so he bowled first.

Dean smiled and stepped forward. He rolled his shoulders and then tried to aim, before swinging his arm and let the ball go. The ball took down half of the pins.  
Castiel smiled. "Not bad," he grinned.

"Pretty good for being the first time in years, yeah," Dean said, grinning.   
Castiel chuckled. "You get another try," he nodded as his ball came back.

"Awesome." Dean grinned and picked up his ball. Then he sent his ball rolling, and struck down the rest of the pins.  
Castiel smiled happily before he waited for the pins to reset, and then grabbed his own ball. He aimed...and ended up with a. Gutter ball.

"You'll get it on the next try," Dean told his husband.  
Castiel took a. Deep breath, and knocked over four pins on his next shot.

"Awesome!" Dean grinned at Castiel, and gave him a thumb up.  
"Not bad for someone who's never gone bowling before." 

Dean blinked, then smiled. "Yeah. It's really good, actually."  
Castiel smiled, and moved aside so Dean could take his next turn.

Dean had to throw the ball twice again, but missed one pin.

Castiel continued on,y knocking over a few pins at a time, havering difficultly understanding how to throw the ball.

Dean eventually noticed Castiel's difficulty, and he smiled a little. "Hey, Cas. C'mere," he said before Castiel could throw the next ball.

Castiel looked at him questioningly, but went over to Dean. "Yes?"

Dean put an arm around Castiel. "Your throwing is off. Want me to show you how to throw straight?"

Castiel nodded. "That would probably help a lot." He chuckled, cheeks tinting pink.

Dean grinned. "All right," he said, and gently pulled Castiel to a spot where they had more space.

Castiel followed, eyes on Dean as he waited for instruction.

Dean smiled and got behind Castiel, and gently moved his husband's arm. "So, you got to hold it like this... And keep it like that when you swing," he murmured, guiding Castiel through the motions.

Castiel nodded, bringing his arm back and forth a few times to practice. "Like that?"

"Yeah, just like that. Keep doing that and you might even get a strike." Dean grinned.

Castiel nodded, and went up to the lane again. This time, he knocked eight pins over, and he grinned excitedly.

"Yeah! That's awesome, Cas!" Dean said, still grinning.

He took the rest down with his next shot, and grinned excitedly, wrapping his arms around Dean happily

Dean laughed softly and wrapped his arms around Castiel in return. "Good job, Cas."

"Thank you," Castiel replied with a large smile on his face.

"It's nothing," Dean said, and kissed Castiel on the lips. "... Hey. If you manage to get a strike, I'll give you a treat."

"What kind of treat?" Castiel asked, kissing back.

"It can be anything you want," Dean said.

"Hmm...I'd have to think on that," he murmured, kissing Dean again. "But right now, it's your turn."

Dean chuckled softly, and returned the kiss. "All right." He gently patted Castiel on the hip before letting go.

Castiel smiled, and watched Dean roll his next ball.

Dean struck down all the pins in two tries, like he'd done most of the time while they'd been playing.

Castiel went forwards, waiting for the pins to reset before he took a deep breath, and rolled.  
He rolled a strike, and jumped, excited.

Dean laughed. "Easy tiger, you might end up slipping," he said, grinning.

Castiel hugged Dean again, grinning widely. "I rolled a strike!"

Dean grinned and hugged Castiel tight. "That you did, Cas."

Castiel grinned widely, excited.  
Dean ended up kicking his ass that game, but the next game was much closer.

Dean smiled at his husband when they had finished the second game. "Are you tired, or can you last one more game?"

"I can do another game, if you're up for it," Castiel smiled.

Dean grinned. "Awesome," he said, and they started the third game.

Castiel did much better this game, only losing to Dean by three points.

Dean stretched and rolled his shoulders. "You're getting better at this, Cas."

Castiel smiled. "Well, do you want another game, or are you tired?"

Dean grinned. "If you manage to win this game, I'll do whatever you want for the rest of the day," he said, winking.

Castiel grinned in return, and they set up the next game.

They stayed very even during the game, and when the last round came along, Castiel needed a strike to win.

Castiel bit his lip as he went up to the lane, and took a deep breath. He rolled his ball...and got a strike!

Dean stared for a moment, surprised at Castiel's "luck", then chuckled. "Oh, damn. Looks like I lost."

Castiel grinned happily, and wrapped his arms around Dean in a hug.

Dean returned the hug with a big smile, and kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled happily. "Let's see, whatever I wanted to do, hmm?"

"Yeah, anything," Dean said with a nod.

Castiel thought about it for a moment. "How about we go home, and you can give me a full-body massage. And...I wouldn't object if it went farther than that." he whispered into Dean's ear.

Dean licked his lips and nodded. "Yeah... Yeah, I can do that," he murmured.

Castiel smiled, kissing his cheek gently before letting go of his husband.

Dean grinned. "You wanna go home now?"

"I don't see why not," Castiel replied, kissing Dean's cheek and giving him his hand.

Dean smiled as he laced their fingers together, and they went to put the bowling balls back and change their shoes.

When they got back into the Impala, Castiel kissed Dean a little longer on the lips.

Dean hummed happily as he kissed back gently.

Castiel smiled when the kiss broke. "Let's get home, handsome."

Dean chased Castiel's lips, and pouted when he didn't get another kiss. "Okay."

Castiel waited until Dean was facing forwards to kiss Dean's cheek, settling down against his side.

Dean smiled softly at that, and started the car, then drove them home.

When they got home, Castiel removed the blankets from their bed, only leaving the sheets so they would have less of a mess to pick up later.

Dean brought out the massage oil from their little collection of things. 

Castiel smiled softly. "Do you want to undress me, or shall I?" He asked.

Dean hummed thoughtfully, then smiled. "Let me undress you," he said, tossing the bottle onto the bed.

Castiel smiled, and lay on his back on the bed.

Dean got onto the bed after his husband, and gently lifted one foot to remove the sock, then did the same with the other.

Castiel smiled at his husband, and wiggled his toes a little.

Dean smiled, and moved to Castiel's side. He popped the button and pulled down the zipper on Castiel's pants, then slowly pulled them off all the way.

Castiel lifted his hips, helping Dean undress him.

Dean dropped the jeans to the floor, and moved to pull Castiel's shirt off, then finally got to remove his husband's underwear.

Castiel was half hard, but once he undressed he turned onto his stomach, stretching out.

Dean hummed as he looked at his husband's naked body, and ran his hands along Castiel's sides. "So beautiful..."

Castiel shivered slightly. "Not as beautiful as you," he murmured.

"No... You're more beautiful. Now try to relax and accept my compliments... This is about you, not me," Dean murmured.

Castiel sighed and nodded.

Dean leaned over Castiel, and kissed the back of his neck.

Castiel relaxed under Dean's affection.

Dean kissed down Castiel's spine, all the way to his ass, and pressed a soft kiss to each cheek before straightening up. "It's gonna be a bit cold, but it'll heat up quickly," he murmured as he opened the bottle, then poured some of the oil on Castiel's back.

Castiel shuddered softly at the sensations, his muscles tensing under the cold oil.

Dean placed his warm hands on Castiel's back, spreading the oil around a bit with light rubs, before he added a bit of pressure to start massaging Castiel for real.

Castiel let out a light groan as Dean rubbed his back, the tense muscles relaxing.

"That's it, honey," Dean murmured softly, working on any knots he could find.

Castiel relaxed under Dean's hands, letting out soft, appreciative noises as Dean worked.

Dean worked over Castiel's back, neck and shoulders, some times dipping down to rub his ass cheeks. Eventually he stopped for a moment to pour some oil into his hand to let it heat up, then started to gently massage Castiel's arms.

Castiel extended his arms as Dean worked down them.

When he was done with the arms, Dean moved and poured some more oil into his hand. Then he started to work on one of Castiel's legs, starting by the ankle and moving upwards.

Castiel relaxed , and shifted his legs, so Dean had access,

Dean hummed as he worked on one leg, then moved to work on the other. When it was done, he rubbed his hand over Castiel's ass. 

Castiel shuddered and moaned softly.

"If only you could see yourself, Cas... You're so gorgeous. All relaxed and pliant, and only for me," Dean murmured, gently squeezing one cheek.

Castiel jumped softly at the gesture, moaning softly.

Dean teased his fingers along the crack of Castiel's ass. "So very gorgeous... I'm the luckiest man ever."

Castiel shuddered softly, letting Dean compliment him without protesting.

"Tell me, sweetheart... Are you hard right now? After feeling my hands on you, rubbing you all over..." Dean dipped his hand between Castiel's thighs, running his fingers long the sensitive skin.

Castiel shuddered, letting out a soft noise. "Y-yes..." He whispered.

"Mmh... How hard are you?" Dean asked softly, and slowly pulled his hand away.

Castiel whined softly. "So hard, only for you." He whispered.

"Are you desperate?" Dean murmured, ghosting a finger over Castiel's arm.

v"Fuuuckk..." He moaned softly. "Please

Dean leaned in to whisper in Castiel's ear. "What do you need, Cas?"

"I need you," Castiel whispered.

"How? Tell me exactly how you need me..."

"I need to feel you inside of me, I need to come on your cock.."

"That's a good boy," Dean purred softly. "Do you want to stay where you are, or do you want to turn around?"

"How do you want me?" Castiel asked softly.

"I can take you like this, if you're okay with it..."

Castiel nodded, cheeks flushed with arousal.

Dean smiled, and gently rubbed Castiel's lower back. Then he moved to straddle the back of Castiel's thighs, and picked up the bottle. "Then I'm going to get you nice and ready for me..."

Castiel smiled softly, and spread his legs as wide as he could.

Dean poured some of the massage oil onto his fingers, knowing it'd work as lube as they'd tried it before, and let it heat up a little before he rubbed his fingers between Castiel's asscheeks.

Castiel shivered, and let out a soft moan. There was a puddle of precome on the sheets already.

Dean circled Castiel's hole with a finger, teasing his husband by adding a little pressure, then easing up and repeating it.

Castiel shivered, moaning softly and panting.

Dean leaned over his husband to pepper his shoulder with kisses, while working one finger inside.

Castiel gasped and shuddered, the oil warming up inside of him.

Dean smiled against Castiel's shoulder, and started working his finger in and out, loosening Castiel up for the next finger.

Castiel moaned softly, relaxing around Dean's finger. His skin shined with the oil.

Dean was painfully hard in his jeans as he looked over his husband. "God... You're so beautiful, Castiel... Breathtakingly beautiful..."

Castiel's cheeks were red, and he panted softly. 

"The sight of you... Damn, Cas... You make me so hot, so turned on, so hard," Dean whispered, and started working a second finger into Castiel.

Castiel whimpered softly. "It's only for me..." He whispered.

"Yeah... It's only for you, honey. My body belongs to you, just like yours belong to me..." Dean stretched Castiel open with his two fingers.

Castiel shifted, arcing into Dean's touch as he moaned.

Dean soon added a third finger, and continued to work Castiel open.

Castiel rocked his hips into Dean's fingers.

"Mmh... Are you ready, Cas? Are you ready for my cock?" Dean asked.

"Please...I want it so badly..." Castiel whimpered.

"Good," Dean murmured, and gently pulled his fingers out. Then he undid his jeans and pulled out his leaking erection, using some of the oil to slick himself up. He shifted a bit closer, and started teasing Castiel by rubbing his cock along Castiel's crack. "Feel that, Cas? That's all for you..."

"Fuck...Dean, please." He whispered.

Dean grabbed his erection, and rubbed the tip against Castiel's entrance a few times, before finally sinking into his husband.

Castiel let out a pleased cry, clenching slightly around his husband.

Dean groaned softly as he pressed his hips flush against Castiel's ass, his fully clothed body blanketing Castiel's naked one.

Castiel grasped Dean's hand, gently squeezing it as he moaned.

Dean gently kissed and nipped at Castiel's neck, before he started to thrust in and out of his husband.

Castiel rocked his hips back and forth as best he could.

Dean kept the same pace for a while, then picked it up and started to suck a mark on Castiel's neck.

Castiel whimpered, rocking his hips. "Dean...oh fuck, Dean..." He moaned,

"So good, Cas... So good for me. Taking my cock so well," Dean whispered.

"I want more, please..." He whimpered.

"Okay," Dean murmured, putting his hands on Castiel's hips before he started to thrust harder and faster into his husband.

Pleased noises and groans fell from Castiel's lips as Dean moved, spasming and moaning loudly as Dean found his prostate.

Dean grunted and shifted a little as he lifted Castiel's hips a bit, getting a better angle so he pressed against Castiel's prostate with each thrust.

Castiel cried out, bracing himself against the bed as he was washed over with pleasure. "Fuck...close."

"Come for me, Cas... You said you wanted to come on my cock, so do it," Dean breathed out.

It took a few more thrusts before Castiel cried out and spilled onto the sheets, clenching down on his husband.

Dean gasped and after another few thrusts, he pressed his hips flush against Castiel, coming deep inside of Castiel with a groan.

Castiel shuddered softly, and his knees buckled as he fell into the bed.

Dean slipped out of Castiel, then moved to collapse beside Castiel, breathing hard. 

Castiel opened his eyes to look at his husband, panting.

Dean gave Castiel a grin, before focusing on catching his breath.

Castiel smiled back, and leaned over to kiss Dean's lips.

Dean kissed back gently. "You okay...?" he asked softly.  
"Yes, I'm fine." He murmured softly.

"Good," Dean murmured, and touched Castiel's cheek.  
Castiel smiled softly, and leaned into the touch. "Thank you." He whispered.

"Mh? What are you thanking me for? I just did what a husband's supposed to do..."  
Castiel kissed him softly. "You go beyond that." He whispered. "You make me whole,"

Dean smiled softly, and kissed back gently. "I'm happy you feel that way... Cause everything I do, I do because I love you..."  
Castiel smiled softly. "I love you too." He murmured. "More than my life. My reason..."

"My angel," Dean murmured, and kissed the tip of Castiel's nose.  
Castiel smiled softly. "I love you, my handsome husband." He whispered.

"I love you more, gorgeous," Dean said lightly, gently tapping Castiel's nose and smiling.  
Castiel smiled softly. "Impossible." He murmured, shifting onto his side and moving to cuddle close.

Dean put an arm around Castiel and pulled him close. "Not at all. Unless you can prove to me that it's impossible." He smiled.  
Castiel pouted, and cuddled close, kissing Dean's neck and collarbone sweetly.

Dean chuckled softly, and kissed Castiel's hair.  
Castiel smiled softly. "I'm getting you covered in oil." He murmured.

"It's okay, it smells very nice, so I don't mind," Dean murmured.  
Castiel smiled softly. "Not as nice as you do," he murmured.

Dean laughed. "You have no sense of smell... I'm all sweaty."  
Castiel smiled softly. "But you smell nice...like, leather and apple pie and sunshine,"

Dean chuckled. "Really now?" he asked. "... Oh great, now you got me thinking of apple pie..."  
Castiel chuckled. "You smell like a freshly baked one...like the one we made when we got together."

Dean smiled. "You're so precious," he murmured. "You mean the pear and apple pie? You got flour hand prints on my hands..."  
Castiel smiled softly at the memory. "Best pie I'd ever tasted." He murmured. "And best day I had ever had at that point."

Dean grinned. "Yeah... It was the most real fun I'd had in a long while, back then."  
Castiel smiled softly. "And Sam gagged when he saw the handprints, and I do have to admit, I wished you didn't have to wash them off..."

Dean chuckled softly. "Yeah... Man, he wasn't big back then, Sammy... And yeah. But it was for the better. Didn't know what kind of shitstorm it might've caused if dad had seen them..."

"Oh, I understand why! I just didn't like it." Castiel murmured. "I just finally had someone who wanted to be with me, knowing what they did about me..."

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head. "Yeah... But we can bake as many pies as we'd like. Without having to wash the handprints off." He grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "But they will never taste as good as that first one did," he murmured. "Because that day, I tasted happiness too, for the first time in years."

Dean looked at his husband, and held him close. "While that sounds nice, it's kinda sad too," he admitted.

"It's very sad," Castiel agreed. "But it makes me appreciate every moment even more because of that." He cuddled close.

Dean just hummed softly and kissed the top of Castiel's head again, tucking Castiel's head in under his chin.

Castiel closed his eyes and smiled softly. "...you know, you're wearing too many clothes..

"And I'm too lazy to do anything about it, right now..." Dean murmured.

Castiel looked up at Dean with a pout. "You said I could have anything I wanted for the best of the day."

Dean laughed softly. "All right, all right... You want me to get naked?"

"Yes, I do." Castiel replied.

"Mmh, all right." Dean let go of his husband, and shuffled away a bit so he could sit up, and pulled off his shirt and his socks.

Castiel watched, and traced his fingers over the muscles in Dean's back.

Dean smiled, and laid back down and lifted his hips to pull down his jeans and underwear.

Castiel smiled, opening his arms for Dean to come back and cuddled

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him close again.

Castiel relaxed further at the feel of their skin pressing together, letting out a soft, happy sigh.

Dean smiled softly at Castiel. "Mmh... One day, I'm gonna do your front, too," he murmured.

"Maybe next time you should start with it, so we don't get too distracted." He murmured.

Dean chuckled. "Or I'll save it for last... Play a little with your nipples and stuff, tease you until you're begging for it and then give you one hell of an orgasm..." He grinned.

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean's collarbones. "Because you don't already do that to me on a regular basis."

"If I could, I'd give you awesome orgasms all the time... Or at least every day," Dean murmured.

"You give me awesome orgasms every time we have sex," he murmured.

"Really?" Dean buried his nose in Castiel's messy hair.

Castiel smiled, kissing Dean's chest sweetly. "Really," he replied.

Dean smiled, and rub his thumb over Castiel's back. "Awesome."

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean's chest once more before closing his eyes.

Dean closed his own eyes, and enjoyed being so close to his husband.

Castiel fell asleep after a little while, comforted and safe in Dean's arms.

Dean fell asleep too, holding Castiel close.


	53. Chapter 53

Castiel woke the next morning, and smiled at his still sleeping husband. She shifted downwards, deciding to wake him with a nice blowjob, taking the soft member into his mouth and sucking gently on it.

Dean made a soft noise in his sleep, but didn't wake up yet. His member slowly filled out and hardened at the attention Castiel was giving it.

Castiel lavished attention on his, licking long, broad stripes up the shaft and swirling his tongue around the head.

Dean stirred, and let out a moan as he started to slowly wake up.

Castiel started sucking on the tip, bobbing his head and taking a little more every time he went down.

Dean blinked his eyes open, and grasped at the sheets where Castiel had been sleeping earlier. "Mmmh..."

Castiel hummed a greeting, unable to speak with a mouthful of cock.

Dean shuddered. "Hello there..." he murmured sleepily, and looked down at Castiel.

Castiel took Dean down to the hilt in response.

Dean gasped softly, and reached down with one hand to pet Castiel's hair. "Fffuuck..."

Castiel's hand came up to gently cradle Dean's balls, tugging them lightly.

Dean groaned. "Oh man... The perks of being married," he mumbled, mostly to himself.

Castiel continued to suck Dean, bobbing his head and running his tongue over the sensitive spots.

Dean buried his fingers in Castiel's hair, letting out soft, breathy moans. "You're so fucking good..."

Castiel picked up the pace a little, before he pulled off and spread Dean's legs a little more, leaning in to run his tongue over Dean's entrance.

Dean was about to complain, but ended up gasping and shuddering instead. "Fuck, Cas-"

Castiel continued licking long, broad strokes over Dean's entrance, eating him out slowly.

Dean was unable to keep quiet, precome dripping from his erection. "Shit- Cas, I- I'm getting close-"

Castiel pulled back, and took Dean's erection into his mouth, sucking on it and running his tongue over the slit.

Dean gasped and writhed. "Cas- Castiel, oh fuck! Coming!" He let out a soft cry, fingers tightening in Castiel's hair as he came.

Castiel swallowed everything, coaxing Dean through the aftershocks until he had sucked him dry, only allowing his spent cock to slip from his mouth.

Dean relaxed on the bed, breathing heavily and his eyes closed, and gently petting Castiel before resting his hand on his stomach.

Castiel smiled, and moved up to cuddle by Dean's side. "Good morning," he murmured.

"That's one hell of a way to wake up..." Dean murmured, opening one eye to look at Castiel. "I love you." 

Castiel smiled, and kissed the tip of Dean's nose. "I love you too."

Dean smiled softly. "You're free to wake me up like that more often," he mumbled, grinning lazily.

Castiel chuckled. "Sometimes, I may," he replied, running his fingers over Dean's chest and stomach.

"Mmh. Awesome." Dean looked at Castiel with a warm smile.

Castiel smiled back, and cuddled close, his own erection pressing against Dean's hip.

"Do you want some help with that?" Dean murmured.

"You don't have to," Castiel murmured.

"But do you want me to?" Dean asked. 

"If you want to," Castiel replied.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I want to," he said, and shifted onto his side, kissing Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, his normal taste mixed with the taste of Dean's come.

 

Dean moaned softly at the taste, gently grabbing Castiel's hips to pull him closer, kissing him deeply.

Castiel kissed back, wrapping his arms around Dean's torso.

Dean rubbed Castiel's hips with his thumbs, then carefully rolled them over so that Castiel was on his back.

Castiel looked up at Dean as he spread his legs to accommodate Dean in between them.

Dean looked back at Castiel, and ran his hands over Castiel's sides, stomach and thighs.

Castiel gave him a soft smile, his erection twitching between their bodies.

Dean smiled back, and leaned in to kiss his husband again, then kissed Castiel's neck.

Castiel made a soft noise. "I've already had enough foreplay, please..." He whispered.

Dean smiled. "Okay," he murmured, giving Castiel's neck one more kiss, before moving down Castiel's body.

Castiel trembled in anticipation.

Dean took Castiel's erection in his hand and gave the tip a light lick, then another, bolder lick, while stroking the shaft.

Castiel let out a soft cry, his hand tightening into the sheets.

Dean lapped at the tip and swirled his tongue around it. He used his free hand to gently cup Castiel's balls, fondling them.

Castiel was breathing hard, whimpering softly. "Fuck, Dean..."

Dean hummed, and wrapped his lips around the tip, sucking on it gently.  
Castiel groaned softly, his head tilting back and eyes closed.

Dean licked and sucked at the tip in his mouth, and continued to stroke the shaft. He moved his other hand lower, and gently rubbed Castiel's perineum with his thumb.

Castiel shuddered, moaning loudly. "F-fuck...Deannn...." He moaned.

Dean just hummed, and took some more of Castiel's length into his mouth.

Castiel's hips jerked up slightly.

Dean made a surprised noise, but didn't pull back. Instead, he sank his mouth lower onto the length, sucking and licking at it.

Castiel whimpered. "Oh fuck, Dean..." He whispered, leaking precome into Dean's mouth.

Dean swallowed and removed his hand from Castiel's length, and gradually worked more of it into his mouth, until his nose brushed against Castiel's stomach.

Castiel was breathing hard, letting out soft noises with each exhale. Dean rarely deep-throated him like this, and it felt amazing.

Dean started to bob his head after getting used to the feeling, going down all the way each time. He added more pressure with his thumb, as he continued to rub Castiel's perineum.

Castiel gasped and moaned loudly. "Fuck, Dean fuck I'm close..."

Dean hummed and swallowed around Castiel's length. He gently tapped Castiel's hip, as if to tell him that it was okay.  
Castiel shuddered, and cried out as he spilled himself into Dean's mouth.

Dean stilled, and swallowed every drop of Castiel's come. When Castiel was done, Dean pulled off and licked his lips. 

Castiel was panting, his eyes closed as he tried to catch his breath.

Dean moved to lay beside Castiel, and gently kissed his cheek.  
Castiel opened his eyes slightly and smiled. "We should do this every morning," he whispered.

Dean chuckled. "Mmh... I wouldn't mind that," he murmured.

Castiel leaned in to kiss Dean's lips.

Dean kissed back gently. "I love you."

Castiel smiled. "I love you too."

Dean grinned, and kissed Castiel again.

Castiel kissed back, and clung to Dean when the alarm went off. "I don't want you to go to work today..." He murmured.

Dean put an arm around Castiel and held him close, while he reached out to turn the alarm off. "Me neither, but I have to."

"I know, it's just frustrating..." Castiel sighed tucking his head against Dean's neck.

"Yeah... But it'll be better once you get a job again, I promise," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded, sighing softly. "Yeah, you're right...doesn't mean I don't still miss you though."

"I know, Cas..." Dean kissed Castiel's nose.

Castiel sighed, and kissed Dean's lips before letting him out of bed.

Dean got out of bed and stretched, then went to the bathroom to get ready for the day.

Castiel lay in bed, too comfortable to move for the moment,

Dean got dressed in the bedroom, then headed into the kitchen for a quick breakfast before going back to the bedroom. "I'm going now."

"McKay, have a good day," he murmured, leaning up for a kiss.

Dean leaned down to kiss Castiel on the lips. "See you later," he murmured, touching Castiel's cheek with his hand before he straightened up and then left.

Castiel smiled, and got out of bed a little while later to work on a painting for class.

When Dean finally got home later that day, it was way past the usual time that he got home, as he'd managed to get a few extra hours that day.

Castiel was curled up on the couch, both cats on top of him as he watched a movie on Netflix. "Hello!" He called out a greeting.

"Hey," Dean called back as he took off his shoes. "What's up, cat magnet?"  
Castiel chuckled softly. "At least I'm not a chick magnet,"

"Dunno about that. We could've bought cheap bread and fed them, then eat 'em up," Dean joked, and went over to the couch. "We'd never have to buy chicken again."  
Castiel snorted an threw a pillow at his husband's face.

Dean stumbled a little, but was laughing.  
Castiel chuckled softly

"You know you love my bad jokes," Dean said.  
"Depends on the day," Castiel teased, leaning up for a kiss.

"And today isn't one of those days?" Dean leaned down to kiss Castiel.  
"One of those half and half days," Castiel replied,kissing Dean and pulling him down and closer.

Dean smiled as he kneeled by the couch so he could continue to kiss Castiel.  
Castiel kissed him for a few minutes before he let go, touching Dean's cheek gently.

Castiel smiled, and continued kissing Dean for a few minutes. pirate came over to lick Dean's cheek.

Dean chuckled. "Hey Pi, did you miss me?" he murmured, and lifted a hand to pet Pirate.  
She purred and rubbed her face into Dean's hand.  
Castiel smiled. "Oh, I have an interview for Friday." He grinned.

Dean grinned. "That's awesome! Congrats," he kissed Castiel again.  
Castiel nodded. "It's for a French restaurant about fifteen minutes from here."

"It really couldn't be better, could it? I really hope you get the job." Dean smiled.

"I do too." Castiel smiled. "I ever asked the manager over the phone if he was all right with me being gay, and he said he didn't care, since he's bisexual himself. Which is a relief."

Dean grinned. "Yeah, it really is," he agreed. "When's the interview?"

"Noon on Friday." Castiel replied.

Dean nodded. "All right." He leaned in and kissed Castiel again.

Castiel kissed back happily. "You made me miss the end of my movie," he teased

"I'm sorry, but not really. I missed you," Dean murmured.

"I missed you too," Castiel murmured, shifting so they could both fit and cuddle on the couch.

Dean smiled as he got up on the couch to snuggle with his husband.

Castiel wrapped his arms around his husband, Daenerys refusing to move from her spot on Cas' waist.

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek, and put his arms around Castiel in return.

Castiel kissed his lips. "How was work?" He asked.

"It was okay, but tiring," Dean murmured.

Castiel nodded. "You worked twelve hours, that shouldn't be surprising." He chuckled softly, a hand coming up to massage Dean's shoulder.

Dean winced a bit. "Careful... It's tense," he mumbled.

"Mm, turn around, let me do your shoulders properly." He replied, moving to sit up.

Daenerys mewed and jumped off.  
"You don't have to," he said, but did as he was told anyway.  
"I want to," he replied, shifting so Dean was sitting between his legs, starting to gently massage the tense muscles.

Dean groaned. "Fuck..." He clenched his jaws tightly and breathed through his nose.

Castiel was gentle, only applying a little but of pressure. "You weren't lying, my god." He murmured.

Dean chuckled quietly. "Yeah... Been doing a lot of heavy work today... My back hurts a little, too.

"All right, let's get your shoulders down from solid rock to form jello before we got o the bedroom to work on your back, okay?" He murmured, applying just a little more pressure.

Dean's breath hitched, and he groaned loudly. "Yeah, okay," he said. After a little bit, his muscles finally gave in and started to slowly loosen up.

Castiel started applying more pressure, this time going for the large knots in his shoulders.

Dean hissed, but stayed still and let Castiel work.

Castiel gently, but firmly, worked out the knits.

Eventually, Dean's muscles loosened up and he let out a sigh of relief.

Castiel smiled. "All right, get that shirt off and into bed, I'll get the massage oil and we can do your back."

"Yes sir," Dean said as he got to his feet, and gave Castiel a smile before pulling his shirt off and then heading to the bedroom and their bed.

Castiel smiled back,and rolled his sleeves up as he fetched the massage oil, looking at his husband for a moment before straddling his hips, pouring the oil into his hand to warm it a little first.

Dean had his face nuzzled into a pillow, and his eyes were closed as he waited for Castiel to start.

After a minute, Castiel's hands pressed gently against Dean's back, rubbing the oil over and into his skin.

Dean hummed softly, focusing on the feeling of Castiel's hands against his back.

Castiel gently started working out the knots in Dean's back.

Dean moaned as the knots slowly came undone.

Castiel continued massaging until Dean was pliant under his hands. "Better?" He asked.

"Much better," Dean sighed happily.

Castiel smiled, and leaned down to kiss the back of Dean's neck.

Dean turned his head so he could look up at Castiel, and smiled softly.

Castiel smiled back, and kissed his cheek. "I'm going to wash my hands and make dinner, you just relax and move when you feel you can.

"Thanks, Cas... And make sure to wake me up if I end up falling asleep or something," Dean murmured.

"Of course," Castiel smiled, and gave Deana. Kiss on the lips before he went to make dinner.

Dean closed his eyes again and let himself relax and just take it easy.

Castiel made grilled cheese and tomato soup, Dean's favourite meal, and went to get his husband when it was ready.

Dean had fallen into a very light sleep, and actually woke up on his own when Castiel came into the bedroom.

"Ready for dinner?" Castiel asked.

Dean blinked sleepy as he moved to sit up, and nodded. "Yeah."

Castiel smiled, and gave Dean a kiss as he took his hand and led him for he kitchen table.

Dean smiled as he saw what Castiel had made. "You're the most awesome husband of all time."

Castiel chuckled. "You'd had a long day, I thought you'd like your favourite meal."

Dean kissed Castiel on the cheek, then on the lips. "You know me too well."

Castiel smiled. "You are my husband after all."

Dean grinned as he took a seat at the table.

Castiel smiled, and prayed softly, waiting for Dean to take the first bite.

Dean hummed happily as he started to eat. "So awesome," he said, a bit muffled from the food in his mouth.

Castiel smiled. "I love you," he replied 

Dean blinked at Castiel, then grinned. "I love you too."

Castiel smiled, and ate his meal happily.

When Dean had finished his meal, he leaned back and patted his stomach. "That was delicious."

Castiel smiled. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Dean smiled, and nudged Castiel's foot with his own.

Castiel smiled, and gave Dean his hand.

Dean happily took Castiel's hand into his own.

Castiel smiled, and leaned over to kiss his husband, sucking gently on his bottom lip.

Dean hummed and kissed back gently, reaching up with his other hand to touch Castiel's cheek.

Castiel leaned into the touch, and gently swiped Dean's lips with his tongue, asking to deepen the kiss.

Dean parted his lips, and deepened the kiss a bit.

Castiel's other hand came up to tangle his fingers into Dean's hair, enjoying the kiss they were sharing.

Dean moaned quietly, but continued to keep the kiss slow and gentle.

Castiel broke the kiss after a few minutes to breathe, pressing their foreheads together,

Dean smiled softly at his husband, stroking his cheek with his thumb.

Castiel smiled back. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Dean murmured. "So, so much..."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again.


	54. Chapter 54

Another year passed, and Castiel had completed his degree in Fine Arts. He went home the day of his final project with a large grin on his face, throwing himself into Dean's arms.  
Sam was back, and doing much, much better. He himself was graduating as well, and since his graduation was a week after Jess', she was flying out to watch both Sam and Castiel graduate.

Dean was so proud of his husband and his brother, that he was almost glowing with the pride that he felt. He'd made reservations at a restaurant weeks earlier, to make sure they could do at least something to celebrate their graduations.

Castiel was in the process of helping pack when Dean arrived him from work. Once they graduated, Sam would be moving to Stanford's dorms, where Jess would join him a few weeks later, and Dean and Castiel had put a down payment on a house closer to Dean's workplace, and the place where Castiel was hoping to get a job at.

"I'm home," Dean called out as he stepped into the apartment.  
"Welcome home! I'm in our bedroom!" Castiel called out.

Dean went to join Castiel in the bedroom. "Hey. How are things going?"  
"Pretty good," Castiel replied, currently in the closet as he shifted through which clothes to pack now or later.

Dean smiled as he watched Castiel. "It's kinda hard to believe that we'll be leaving this place..."

"I know..." Castiel murmured. "I'm going to miss it."

"Me too... But hopefully our new place will be just as good, if not better."

Castiel smiled. "I think it will be. We'll have more space...and extra bedrooms for when we decide to adopt."

"Yeah. And we don't have to worry about having someone make gagging noises at us in the morning." Dean grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "And we can try kitchen sex," he purred, leaning out of the closet for a kiss.

Dean smirked. "Oh, I love the way you think," he said, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean once more before going back to packing.

Dean smiled, and went to the bathroom before he started to help with the packing.

"I still can't believe I'm graduating college," Castiel murmured as he folded clothes. "Tomorrow... And Sam's the day after."

"Yeah... I think it's really awesome that my two geniuses are graduating," Dean said with a grin.

Castiel's cheeks turned pink. "Having some skill with a paintbrush doesn't make me a genius."

Dean smiled softly. "But it takes a lot of hard work to be as good as you are, and it's not the only thing you're good at, Cas."

Castiel just blushed, looking down, but not protesting what Dean was saying. He was getting better at accepting compliments.

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek and gently patted his hip, then went back to packing.

After another hour, Castiel stretched. "I'm calling it quits for today, and ordering pizza." He decided.

"That sounds like an awesome idea," Dean said.

Castiel smiled. "Besides, we packed up most of the kitchen supplies. And we have that secret dinner you won't tell Sam or I about."

Dean grinned. "We do, and I'm still not telling you anything."

Castiel stuck his tongue out playfully.

Dean pulled Castiel into a hug and nuzzled his neck. 

Castiel smiled and hugged him back. "I love you, Dean." He whispered.

"I love you too Cas," Dean murmured, smiling widely.

Castiel smiled, and kissed his lips. "You're the best," he murmured.

"Why? 'cause I gave you a hug?" Dean chuckled, and returned the kiss.

"Because you're Dean Winchester," he smiled.

Dean grinned. "Yeah... Being Dean Winchester is good. 'Cause I'm married to you."

Castiel blushed softly, and kissed him again. "What kind of pizza do you want? I'll order."

Dean thought about it. "Something meaty, or really cheesy. Preferably both."

"Meat lovers, extra cheese?"

Dean smiled and nodded. "Yeah."

"All right," he smiled, and went to see what Sam and Jess wanted before calling to order the pizzas. "Is it bad that I'm nervous for tomorrow?" He asked Dean.

"Dude. If I had been in your shoes, I would've been freaking out..." Dean admitted. "Graduating college is a big thing."

"I know...it's like, fuck, I'm done with school. I have to get a real job, you know? Not just as a waiter...I really hope that prop place likes my portfolio..."

"If they don't - then they're a couple of losers, and when you make a name for yourself, they'll regret not having hired you." Dean smiled.

Castiel chuckled. "Thanks, Dean. Really."

"You're welcome." Dean continued to grin.

"How does a movie sound?" Castiel suggested.

"Yeah sure. Can we watch a comedy?" Dean asked.

"Sounds perfect," Castiel smiled.

Dean grinned. "Awesome!" He put an arm around Castiel's shoulders, and went to sit down on the couch with him.

Castiel grabbed the remote, and started searching through Netflix.

Dean kept his arm around Castiel. "Is that the Pet Detective?"

"Yeah, wanna watch it?" Castiel asked, cuddling into Dean's side.

Dean nodded. "Yeah! It's awesome"

"I've never seen it," Castiel replied, moving the cursor over and starting the movie.

"Really? Well, I hope you'll like it. It has Jim Carrey in it." Dean grinned, and held Castiel close.

"I like him," Castiel smiled.  
Sam came out a few minutes later, Jess behind him. "Movie night?" He asked, sitting in the love seat.

"Yeah. But we're not watching chick flicks," Dean said.  
Jess rolled her eyes but smiled as she sat down beside Sam.

"Oh shut up, you cried during The Notebook," Sam replied, wrapping his arms around Jess.

"I did not!" Dean protested. "I got an eyelash stuck in my eye..."

Castiel chuckled. "I call bullshit." He smiled.

Dean shot his husband a look, then took his arm back and sunk down a little in his seat, his arms crossed.

Castiel turned, and pouted. "I'm sorry," he apologized, snuggling close to Dean's side. "I didn't mean it."

Dean huffed softly and grumbled, but leaned against Castiel, seeming to accept the apology.

Castiel kissed his cheek, and whispered "I'm yours in bed tonight."

Dean looked at Castiel with a small smile. "... You're always mine, Cas," he whispered back.

Castiel smiled, and cuddled close.

Dean smiled a little wider, and focused on the tv again.

They all sat and watched the movie, only pausing it when the pizza arrived,

They used paper plates for the pizza and ate until they were full, and after the movie ended, they decided to watch another one as they were too full and content too move.

Sam chose "Meet The Fockers" as the next movie,a nd they were soon all laughing and enjoying themselves.

When the movie ended, Dean sat up properly and stretched a bit. Jess was yawning quietly.

Sam kissed the top of her head. "Time for bed," he murmured.  
Castiel stood, and started to put the leftover pizza away.

Jess smiled and nodded. "Yeah, sounds good..."  
Dean smiled at the two, and stood up so he could clean up.

Sam bid Dean and Castiel a good night before he and Jess went to his room.

Dean watched them go, then finished cleaning up before he headed to the bathroom.

Castiel went into the bedroom, stripping down and laying out on top of the covers, almost lazily stroking his cock in one hand.

Dean paused in the doorway to the bedroom as he saw Castiel on the bed, then smiled softly as he walked over to the bed. "Someone's in a mood tonight, huh?"

"I did promise that I was yours tonight," Castiel replied, smiling at his husband.

Dean took off his own clothes before he climbed onto the bed. "Mmh... Does that mean I can do whatever I want with you?"

"Anything," Castiel whispered, still stroking his own cock.

Dean licked his lips as he looked at Castiel's body. "Now to ask myself what I'd like to do..." he murmured, resting a hand on Castiel's thigh.

Castiel's erection twitched in his hand as Dean looked at it. "I'm for whatever you want tonight..." He whispered, kissing Dean's cheek.

"Well, I should take it easy on you... You are graduating after all." Dean smiled. "... Maybe I should let you play with yourself while I watch."

Castiel swallowed, and nodded, shifting so he was a little more comfortable, his thumb rubbing the tip and smearing the precome.

Dean looked at his husband, and chewed on his bottom lip. "Yeah, that's good..."

He started to stroke himself, letting out a soft moan, his other hand going up to pincha nd tease his nipples. His eyes were shut, just enjoying the sensation despite the fact that his cheeks were red.

Dean reached down cup and fondle himself, his erection slowly growing as he watched Castiel. "You're so hot, Cas... So, so hot. I can wait until we move to our new place, and I can lay you out on the bed and make you scream, without anyone complaining..."

Castiel's breath hitched, and a small spurt of precome escaped the tip, rolling down the side of his shaft Castiel's other hand left his nipples to trail down his chest and stomach, cupping his balls and fondling them gently as he continued stroking.

Dean smiled. "And we'd do it everywhere... We would start in the bedroom, after a long day of moving stuff around and cleaning... Just slow, lazy sex, because we're tired but horny... The next time we order take out, we might have a quickie on the couch while we're waiting for food... Maybe we don't even get undressed. Maybe we just grind against eachother until we come in our pants," he murmured close to Castiel's ear.  
Castiel shuddered, letting out a soft noise as Dean fed him fantasies in his ear, never so glad in that moment that he had a kink for dirty talk.

"Man, can you imagine the kitchen though?" Dean continued on. "Haven't had sex for a while because we're both busy with work... But one night we're free... You're cooking some stew or something, and I hug you from behind... Kissing your neck and running my hands over your body... Then I'll bend you over the table and eat you out like I'm a starved man."  
Castiel gasped, arcing his head back, his fingers trailing down as he spread his legs to press against his perineum. 

"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Dean grinned. "I'd like it too... And maybe I'll buy Angel some new lingerie... His wardrobe is kind of limited, isn't it? I bet he would look lovely in pale blue lace, don't you think? Maybe a pair of panties that I could just pull aside before sinking inside, so I could fuck him /and/ watch him come inside the panties..."  
Castiel gasped and moaned. "Oh, fuck..." He whimpered, pressing his fingers lightly over his entrance and rubbing it, before stilling his hand and squeezing his erection before letting go, and repeating the action.

Dean placed a hand on Castiel's thigh. "We'll be going on dates together, and you'll be wearing those awesome jeans and some nice sweater or shirt... People will look at you, because you're so incredibly gorgeous... I'll look at you hungrily during the whole night, and when we get home, I'll press you against the wall and kiss you senseless, then I'll carry you up to the bedroom. I'll have you suck me off, and then I'll come all over your face, mark you up with my come..."  
Castiel moaned, his hand going to the base of his erection and squeezing hard, not wanting to finish yet.

"But don't think I'll be doing most of the work, sweetheart... I'll be sure to tell you when I'm tired, and you'll have to suck my cock until it's nice and hard, then ride me. Bounce up and down in my lap like you were made for it..."  
"Do you want to watch me come?" Castiel whispered softly, his stimulation having stilled.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I do," he said. "You okay with that?"  
Castiel nodded, and went back to stroking himself, close.

Dean kissed Castiel's shoulder. "What a good boy you are for me, Cas..."  
Castiel shuddered and moaned, his body tensing up as his balls drew closer.

"You're doing so, so good... Come for me, Cas. Let me see you come all over yourself," Dean purred close to Castiel's ear.

Castiel stiffened, and cried out as he came over his stomach, the white liquid streaking his stomach and torso, pooling in his bellybutton.  
He relaxed back into the bed, spent and breathing hard.

Dean kissed Castiel's cheek and smiled at him. "You're so gorgeous, Cas," he said softly.

Castiel opened his eyes to look at his husband. "Can you come on me?" he asked softly.

Dean nodded. "If that's what you want... On your face or your torso?"

"Torso." Castiel murmured.

Dean nodded again and kissed Castiel on the lips, then moved to sit between Castiel's legs, stroking his own erection.

Castiel watched, his eyes still dark with want as he looked at his husband.

Dean bit his lip as he rubbed his thumb over the sensitive head, and reached down with his other hand to fondle his balls.

Castiel looked into Dean's eyes. "You're so big...I still don't know how I fit you every single time, in every single postion..."

Dean chuckled breathlessly. "I'm not that big," he murmured as he stroked himself.

"You're not absolutely huge, but you're the perfect size to fill me up, hit all of the spots that make me pleasured..." he whispered.

Dean's cheeks turned red, and he licked his lips. "Tell me more about it..."

"It bends in just the right place, so when I feel you thrusting into me, you hit my prostate every time. It's nice and thick, and especially when it pulses just right, it makes me feel so full and whole...

Dean started to move his hips slowly, thrusting into his fist and moaning quietly as precome leaked from the head of his cock.

"Your hand feels good, doesn't it?" Castiel murmured. "But not nearly as good as my ass...am I still tight, after all the time you spend fucking me open?" 

"Fuck, yeah, yeah you are... And even if we have sex several days in a row, you're still tight... It's amazing," Dean breathed out. "You're amazing..."

Castiel smiled, spreading his legs a little further. "Let me watch you come on me, make me even more of a mess than I already am..."

Dean bit back a groan as he started moving his hand, meeting his thrusts. "Yeah... Yeah, I will," he murmured, and after almost a dozen more thrusts, he came with a soft gasp. He stroked himself through his orgasm, and painted Castiel's torso with his come. 

Castiel shuddered softly, Dean's come mixing with his own across his torso, leaving him a mess.

When he was completely spent, Dean leaned over Castiel to kiss him on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, and smiled softly. "I'm definitely going to need a shower."

Dean chuckled softly. "Yes. Want me to join you?"

"If you want," Castiel replied, kissing Dean gently.

"Yeah, I do," Dean said, smiling. Then he moved to the side, so that Castiel could get up.

Castiel got up carefully, quickly grabbing their post-sex towel to mop up the come that was sliding down his body, moving quickly to get to the restroom.

Dean got up and stretched a little before following Castiel to the bathroom.

Castiel turned on the shower, and got in, letting out a soft sigh of relief as the water hit his skin.

Dean stepped in behind Castiel, and kissed his husband's neck and shoulder.

Castiel leaned into the touches, humming happily.

"I'm the luckiest man alive..." Dean murmured.

Castiel reached to take Dean's arms so they were wrapped around his waist. "I do believe I have that title," Castie murmured.

"Nah, that title is mine, and only mine," Dean murmured, holding Castiel close.

Castiel nuzzled into Dean's hold, enjoying his husband and the feeling of the water washing over them. "You're beautiful when you come," he murmured.

"Is that so?" Dean rested his chin on Castiel's shoulder.

"Yes,"Castiel replied softly. "Because I'm the only one who gets to watch you make that face, the purely blissed out face, when you come."

Dean smiled, and nuzzled Castiel's neck. "That is true..."

Castiel smiled back, and kissed Dean's cheek.

Dean grinned. "Man... We're moving into a house," he murmured.

"I know. A house to call our own," Castiel smiled happily.

"A house in which we'll have privacy. A yard we can sit in... My very own garage."

Castiel smiled. "No noisy neighbors..."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah... Heh. It'll be perfect."

Castiel smiled. "I will miss this place, though." He murmured.

"Yeah... Me too. It's a nice apartment. Got a lot of memories here."

Castiel nodded. "Good and bad," he murmured.

"Yeah, good and bad..." Dean murmured, kissed Castiel's cheek.

Castiel started to rinse his body off, rubbing off the come that had dried a little and was being stubborn.

Dean looked down at Castiel's body, watching his hands work on rubbing the come off.

Castiel noticed after a few moments. "Enjoying the view?"

Dean hummed softly. "Very much."

Castiel smiled, and slowly started to grind his ass against Dean.

Dean groaned, and grabbed Castiel's hips. "Hey, hey- jeeze, you're such a tease..."

"Do you want me to stop?" Castiel asked.

Dean thought about it. "... Not really," he admitted.

Castiel smiled, and continued to grind gently against his husband.

Dean closed his eyes and moaned softly at the feeling.

"You love feeling my ass, don't you?" Castiel murmured.

"Fuck, yes... You've got the best ass there is," Dean mumbled.

"Well, it's yours." He murmured. "Touch it all you want."

"Awesome." Dean grinned, and reached between them with one hand, to cup and gently squeeze one of Castiel's ass cheeks.

Castiel shivered and let out a soft moan, still working his ass back into Dean's crotch.

Dean ran his other hand up and down Castiel's torso, and started to pepper his neck with kisses.

Castiel shivered softly in Dean's arms, letting out soft noises.

Dean pressed his lips to the spot where Castiel's neck and shoulder met, and started to gently suck a mark on the skin.

Castiel moaned softly, his cock twitching in interest.

"You're so sexy, Cas," Dean murmured, pressing his hand flat against Castiel's stomach.

Castiel shivered softly. "You're sexier," he replied. "You with your muscular arms that hold me safe and close, that toned torso from all the time lifting heavy car parts..."

"Nah... I think you're sexier. You're not muscular, but you're absolutely gorgeous. You have kissable hips, amazing legs, beautiful hands and arms... You look good in anything - everything from tiny panties to my old band t-shirts to fancy suits, but if I'm honest, you're the most good looking when you're naked," Dean murmured.

Castiel blushed, turning in Dean's hold to kiss him on the lips, shifting from grinding his ass against Dean to grinding their hips together.

Dean kissed back, and reached behind Castiel to gently grab his ass. "And you've got the best ass in the world," he murmured.

Castiel reached behind Dean to grab Dean's firm ass. "I beg to differ," he murmured, squeezing it gently in his palms.

Dean pursed his lips. "Mine doesn't look good in everything like yours does. Yours is like... Wow," he said, kissing and nipping gently at Castiel's jaw.

"I will say, your cock is so much better than mine. It's thicker, and longer, and perfect." He whispered.

"Why? Haven't you heard... Size doesn't matter," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel on the lips.

"But yours is the perfect size," Castiel replied, kissing back.

"My ego is big enough, don't you think? Complimenting the size on my dick probably isn't a good idea..." Dean said lightly, smiling softly as he pulled Castiel flush against himself.

"I only speak the truth," Castiel purred into his ear, nipping at it. "And I can feel it as we speak."

Dean moaned quietly. "That's because you're so sexy... Can't help myself. You gonna do something about it?"

"Depends on what you want me to do," Castiel replied softly, rocking their hips together.

"Mmh... What would you be willing to do?" Dean asked.

"Anything you'd like," he murmured. "We can get out and go to bed, shower sex, Angel can come to play, whatever you're in the mood for."

"So, that means I can get a blow job?" Dean grinned. "I wanna see those pretty lips of yours, stretched around my "perfectly sized" cock."  
Castiel smiled, and dropped down to his knees, looking submissively up at his husband.

Dean gently stroked Castiel's hair. "That's a good boy," he murmured. "Wanna start by giving it some kisses and licks, sweetheart?"  
Castiel nodded, and lowered his eyes to look at Dean's cock, gently kissing the tip all over before licking the slit playfully.

Dean's erection twitched, and he moaned softly. "Yeah... Yeah, that's good."  
Castiel moved his head, licking the shaft with broad strokes of his tongue.

Dean groaned, and ran his fingers through Castiel's hair. 

Castiel kissed and licked it for a little while longer before he took the tip into his mouth, sucking gently.

Dean looked down at his husband. "Damn, Cas... Seeing your lips wrapped around my cock like that... Do you know how arousing it looks?"

Castiel looked up as his husband, his tongue teasing the slit and sucking the precome down gladly.

Dean groaned, and put one hand on the shower wall to support himself.

Castiel lowered his eyes as he started to bob his head, one hand coming up to stroke the rest of Dean's shaft, and the other fondling his balls.

"Oh, oh fuck... So good..." Dean whispered, and had to bite his tongue to keep quiet.

Castiel gently moved a hand to tap against Dean's hip, reminding him that he preferred it when Dean was noisy.

Dean chuckled. "You want Sam to throw a bitch fit...?" he asked.

Castiel paused. Sam's bedroom was right next to the bathroom, and Jess was over. He relented, and went back to taking more of Dean's length into his mouth.

Dean bit his lip harshly, then took a deep breath. "When we move into our new place, I'll let you do anything to me, and I won't keep back a single noise..."

Castiel moaned softly around Dean's cock, bobbing his head back and forth, before taking Dean down to the hilt.

Dean gently gripped Castiel's hair, is erection steadily leaking precome. "Getting close..."

Castiel swallowed around the length, and sucked hard as he pulled back so just the head was in his mouth, his hand that was on Dean's balls moving to press gently against his entrance.

Dean tensed up, and he tried to grasp as the wall. It took only a couple more strokes of Castiel's hand, before his balls tightened and he came into Castiel's mouth with a shudder.

Castiel swallowed everything Dean gave him, stroking him through it until Dean was soft in his mouth, letting him slip out. His knees were aching against the hard ceramic.

Dean breatehd audibly, but slowly. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah, I'll need help standing though." Castiel replied, his own erection throbbing between his legs.

Dean nodded, and steadied himself before he reached down and helped Castiel up to his feet.

Castiel winced a little, his knees popping, but he stood.

Dean kissed Castiel on the lips. "How do you want me to help you?" he asked.  
Castiel looked at Dean. "A blow job on the bed would be nice, and maybe some fingering." He murmured. It was fairly rare for him to request something in bed; normally, he just went with Dean's mood.

Dean lit up at that, and he nodded eagerly. "Yeah, sure," he said, smiling.  
Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean again before turning off the now-cool water.

Dean stepped out of the shower, and grabbed a towel that he wrapped around his husband.

Castiel smiled, and started to dry himself off.

Dean grabbed the last towel, and dried himself off.  
When Castiel was dry, he went back into the bedroom, laying out on the bed.

Dean joined Castiel on the bed moments later, leaning over him to kiss him on the lips.

Castiel hummed happily, wrapping his arms around Dean.

Dean supported himself on his forearms as he kissed his husband deeply.  
Castiel kissed back just as deeply, enjoying the feel of his husband.

Dean smiled and looked into Castiel's eyes as he slowly broke the kiss.  
Castiel looked back, love and trust and want shining in his eyes.

Dean kissed Castiel quickly, then moved down Castiel's body, until his face was level with Castiel's crotch.

Castiel closed his eyes, wanting the touches to surprise him when they'dcame, his erection have and wanting between his legs.

Dean nosed at Castiel's erection, before taking it in his hand and holding it up so he could kiss and lick at the head.

Castiel shuddered and moaned softly, his erection throbbing in Dean's hand.

Dean swirled his tongue around the head and lapped up any drops of precome, as he stroked the shaft with his hand.

Castiel shuddered, his fingers finding Dean's hair and tangling into it.

Dean made a soft noise as he wrapped his lips around the head and started to gently suck, and teased the slit with his tongue.

Castiel arced his head back as he let out a low groan, feeling the heat and wetness and perfect feeling of Dean's mouth around him.

Dean moved his other hand between Castiel's legs, cupping and fondling his balls before moving lower to gently rub his thumb against his perineum.

Castiel gasped and whimpered. "Wanna feel you in me, please..." He whispered.

Dean pulled off and licked his lips. "Pass me the lube," he murmured.

Castiel reached for the nightstand, and gave Dean the lube, the bottle almost empty.

Dean frowned. "Mmh... Gonna have to buy more," he mumbled, then wrapped his lips around Castiel's erection again, while he opened the bottle of lube and slicked his fingers.

Castiel let out a gasp and then a moan, his entrance clenching and relaxing slightly. He wanted to feel Dean's fingers, wanted to feel every part of him.

Dean took more of Castiel's length into his mouth, and rubbed his slick fingers over his husband's entrance, before pushing one finger inside - but only to the first knuckle.

Castiel gasped softly. "Oh, fuck..." He panted. "More, please more..."

Dean would've smiled if he could. Instead, he sucked on his husband's cock and pressed his finger all the way in.

Castiel moaned, and clenched down slightly on his husband's finger.

Dean hummed and started to work his finger in and out of his husband.

Castiel gasped and groaned, and spasmed as Dean's finger brushed his prostate.

Dean started to slowly bob his head and sucked a little harder, while rubbing his finger against Castiel's prostate.

Castiel's breath picked up. "Fuck...fuck Dean, I'm close..." He whimpered.

Dean pressed a second finger into his husband, and kept massaging his prostate.

Castiel tensed, and moaned loudly as he tipped over the edge, coming into Dean's mouth.

Dean rubbed Castiel's prostate for a little longer while he swallowed the come. When Castiel was spent, he gently pulled out his fingers and let go of Castiel's softening cock.

Castiel was breathing hard, trying to catch his breath.

Dean licked his lips and wiped his hand on the sheets, then moved to lay beside his husband and kissed his cheek.

Castiel smiled softly. "You're the best," he murmured. "And it helped me calm down for tomorrow. Thank you."

"You're very, very welcome," Dean mumbled, and grinned.

Castiel shifted so he could cuddle against Dean, his eyes closing.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him close.

Castiel easily fell asleep, and wasn't even that anxious when his alarm went off the next morning.


	55. Chapter 55

Dean moaned unhappily and buried his face in the pillow as he was woken up by the alarm.

Castiel had a sleepy smile on his face. "Good morning," he murmured.

"Mornin', hot stuff," Dean murmured back, a bit muffled by the pillow.

Castiel blushed softly, but smiled. "Not today, today I have to wear those giant gowns." He made a face.

"I'll still be able to see your hands and face, so yeah. You're hot stuff today too." Dean grinned lazily.

Castiel snorted and blushed, but he didn't deny the compliment, stretching out lazily. "Mmmm...I don't want to get up, but I need to get ready to go..."

Dean shifted, and leaned closer to kiss Castiel's cheek. "We can laze aruond in bed another day."

Castiel sighed, but kissed Dean back before getting out of bed to take a shower

Dean sat up and stretched a bit, then got up and pulled on some underwear and a t-shirt before going to the kitchen to make coffee. 

Castiel took a nice, hot shower, and attempted to tame his wild hair before giving up on it, getting dressed in his suit.

Dean gave a low whistle as he entered their bedroom with a mug of coffee.

Castiel flushed. "How bad is it?" He asked.

"Bad? Are you kidding me? You look /gorgeous/, Cas."

Castiel blushed, looking away shyly. "Thank you," he murmured.

Dean grinned and went over to kiss Castiel on the cheek.

Castiel pulled out the graduation gown and the cords. He was graduating with honors, and with a fine arts degree.

Dean smiled as he watched his husband. "... Jeeze. You're really graduating," he murmured.  
"It's strange to think of." Castiel murmured. "We're both done with school now, you're in your career and I'll hopefully be starting mine."

"Yeah... Maybe you'll make a big name for yourself in the future. Sell paintings for hundreds or thousands of dollars." Dean grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "That would be nice," he murmured. "But I doubt it will happen. I thinka. Prop maker would suit me well, though. And we live near Hollywood as it is."

"You never know. The future might surprise you," Dean said, smiling as he went to the bathroom to wash his face and relieve himself, then came back to pull on some jeans.

Castiel pulled on his gown and made a face at the cap, electing not to wear it until it was time.  
Sam cam out, wearing a dress shirt and pants, and gave Cas a smile. "Congrats Cas, seriously." He pulled his brother-in-law into a hug.

Jess came out right after Sam, having braided her hair and put on a nice dress. "You ready for the big day?" she asked.

Castiel smiled. "I think so, yes. You look beautiful, Jess." He smiled.

Jess smiled brightly. "Thank you. You look very handsome."  
Dean joined them, having changed his t-shirt for a button down and a suit jacket.

Castiel smiled, his eyes raking over his husband's body, eyes promising that he would rip those clothes off later.  
"Guys, seriously, stop with the eye sex, we're right here," Sam teased.

Dean moved his gaze from Castiel to roll his eyes, then grinned at Sam. "Just be glad it's only eye sex," he said, wiggling his brows.

Sam groaned. "Don't remind me," he mumbled. He had walked in on Dean and Cas once, and it had scarred him mentally.

"Well, you did learn to knock, so it wasn't that bad," Dean chuckled and continued to grin.

Castiel blushed and Sam rolled his eyes.

Jess shook her head. "Maybe we should make sure everything's ready so we can go?" she suggested, smiling.

"Thank you, Jess." Castiel replied, making sure he had everything he needed.

Dean made sure the cats had fresh food and water. When everyone were ready, he grabbed his keys and they all headed out to the car. 

Sam slid into the backseat while Castiel got into the passenger's side, holding up a finger to tell Sam and Jess to be quiet as he turned the radio to a pop station.

Dean got into the driver's seat, unaware of what Castiel had just done, and started the car. When the radio started blasting Justin Bieber instead of his beloved rock, his eyes grew wide and his face paled as if he'd seen a ghost, then he let out a string of curses and promptly turned the radio off.

Castiel had a perfect poker face on, while Sam doubled over laughing.

Jess laughed with Sam.  
"Fuck you all," Dean growled, then let out a frustrated huff.  
Castiel leaned over to kiss Dean's cheek. "I love you," he murmured.

Dean squinted as he looked at his husband, but did relax a little.  
Castiel gave him a smile, while Sam continued to laugh. "The look on your face..."

Dean huffed. "I hate pop music," he muttered as he looked around, making sure it was clear, then started driving.  
"It's not all bad," Sam replied, still chuckling a little. "But yeah, Beiber is a huge no-no"

"I'd rather stab myself than listen to that shit," Dean said  
Castiel chuckled, and rubbed a hand over Dean's thigh.  
Sam chuckled too, putting an arm around Jess' shoulders.

Jess leaned against Sam with a smile on her face.

Castiel took a. Deep breath as they parked, watching the other graduates walk onto campus. "I can't believe I'm finally graduating," he murmured.

Dean gently patted Castiel's shoulder, and gave him a smile and a kiss on the cheek. 

Castiel smiled softly, and pecked Dean's lips. "I'll see you all after the ceremony." He murmured, getting out of the car and going to join the other graduates.

"See you," Dean said after his husband, and watched him go.

"C'mon Dean, we've gotta get good seats!" Sam urged his brother.

"Yeah yeah, all right," Dean said as he got out. He locked the car before he, Sam and Jess joined the crowd of families.  
Unlike his high school graduation, Castiel was not the valedictorian, and they had to wait through almost the entire crowd of people until they got to the W's.  
"Castiel James Novak Winchester, graduating with honors with a bachelor's degree in Fine Arts."  
Castiel smiled, his eyes looking for his family as he accepted his diploma.

Dean waved at Castiel and gave him thumbs up, grinning. Jess waved too, leaning against Sam and smiling.  
Sam wolf-whistled, causing Castiel to blush as he walked offstage. 

Dean kept a close eye on where Castiel went, so that they could reach him fairly quickly when everything was being wrapped up.  
Once the ceremony ended and the graduates tossed their caps, Castiel fought his way through the crowd, throwing himself into Dean's arms with a grin on his face.

Dean hugged Castiel tight. "Congrats, Cas. I'm proud of you," he said, smiling.  
Castiel grinned up at him, and kissed his husband. "I did it." He whispered.

"You did," Dean said with a grin, then kissed back.  
When the couple broke from their kiss, Sam gave Castiel a hug, patting his back. "Congrats man, seriously." He grinned.

Jess hugged Castiel after Sam had let go of him, and smiled. "Yeah, congratulations Cas," she said, kissing his cheek before she let go.  
Castiel grinned, his face undeniably happy. "Thank you all for coming."

Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel's middle. "It's nothing. Wouldn't have missed this for anything."  
Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's cheek.  
"Hey guys!" Charlie waved, making her way over to them, wearing her own gown.

Dorothy was following after Charlie, dressed like normal since she graduated last year. She waved at them too.  
"Hey you two," Dean greeted. 

Charlie gave Castiel a huge hug. "We're done!" She squealed.  
Castiel chuckled and returned the hug. "Indeed."  
Charlie let go of Castiel to give Dean a huge hug too.

Dean returned the hug. "So you're that happy to see me, huh?"  
Dorothy gave Castiel a hug and a gentle pat on the back. 

"Duh," Charlie rolled her eyes. "You guys are like, my best friends, c'mon."

Dean grinned. "Good to know. And congrats on graduating," he said, pulling her in for another hug.

"Thanks!" She grinned. "Anna and Gabe are looking for you too," she told Castiel, speaking of his other two friends.

"Be careful though, I think Gabe's high on sugar," Dorothy warned him. 

"Isn't he always?" Castiel chuckled. "Oh, I don't think you two ever met Jess. This is Jess, Sam's girlfriend."

"Oh... But didn't we meet at the wedding?" Jess said.  
"I think we did, but everyone were a bit busy. I'm Dorothy," Dorothy said, smiling.

"And I'm Charlie, this socially awkward angel's best man." Charlie grinned, giving Jess her hand to shake.  
Castiel flushed. "Charlie..."  
"What? It's true."

"He was a lot worse before he met you guys," Dean said, while Jess shook Charlie's hand.  
Dorothy just chuckled, then turned her head as she heard two familiar voices, and saw Anna and Gabriel coming towards them.

"Castiel!" Anna called, waving at them.  
Castiel smiled, and gave Anna a hug. She had graduated with Dorothy, and he had missed her.

"Well don't you two look cute?" Gabriel smirked as he looked at Charlie and Castiel, the stick of a lollipop poking out of his mouth. He had also graduated last year, but liked to hang around and pester his younger friends every now and then.

Charlie stuck her tongue out. "We look better than you did!"   
Anna chuckled. "I think everyone looked better than Gabe did."

Gabriel took the lollipop out to stare at them. "And people wonder why I don't like red heads. And who are the cutie and the freakishly tall guys?"

"This is Dean, my husband." Castiel slid an arm around Dean's waist, being a little possessive sincehe knew that Gabriel flirted with any and everything. "And that's Sam, Dean's brother, and Jess, Sam's girlfriend."

Gabriel whistled. "You sure do know how to pick 'em, Cas."  
Dean raised a brow and looked at Castiel. "Your friend is weird. And short."  
Gabriel huffed. "I'm not short! You're just freaking tall, pretty boy."

Castiel chuckled. "Gabe flirts with every and anything." He replied.  
"Gabriel, you're short." Charlie replied. "He'll, you're shorter than I am!"

"You've got red hair and you're lesbian, so you don't count," Gabriel argued.  
Dorothy laughed. "Whatever makes you sleep at night, Gabe." 

Castiel chuckled, leaning slightly into Dean. "How's Kali?" He asked Gabriel.

Gabriel frowned. "She's being a bitch," he muttered, shoving the lollipop back into his mouth.

"Did you forget your seven and a half month anniversary again?" Anna teased.

"No, I didn't! She cancelled our dinner plans cause she had a "important" meeting," Gabriel sighed.  
Castiel sighed. "Gabe, we've told you, she's probably having an affair." He murmured gently.

"Proof or it never happened," Gabriel said, stubborn.  
Dorothy rolled her eyes. "He keeps saying that it's different this time. Anyway, what are you guys doing later?"  
"I'm not sure, Dean made the plans and he won't share." Castiel looked at his husband.

Dorothy raised a brow. "So you are a closet romantic?"  
"What? No- It's- It's for both Cas and Sam, as Sam graduates tomorrow but we'll be busy with packing and everything," Dean grumbled.  
Dorothy just smirked.  
Castiel chuckled. "He really is," he mouthed at Dorothy.

Dorothy grinned. "Well, we're going to have a small get together of sorts at my place. With movies, drinks, food... If you got time, feel free to drop by."  
"I'd like to, if Dean decides we have the time," Castiel replied, and Sam nodded in agreement.  
"We'll have beer, and that vodka that gets you really hammered, Cas." Charlie winked.

"I've got loads of drunk gummy bears and sweet stuff prepared for it." Gabriel grinned.  
"... Any pie?" Dean asked.  
"Could make some."  
"We'll be dropping by," Dean decided.  
Castiel chuckled. "If there's anything I'm jealous of, it's pie."

"... You should totally cover yourself with pie and see what he does," Gabriel said.

Castiel went a bright, bright red. "Gabriel!"  
Charlie cackled. "You've been married how long and you still react about sex like a virgin?"

"Only in public," Dean said.  
Gabriel laughed. "Oh, tell us more, freckles."  
"Nah," Dean grinned, earning a pout from the short man.  
"And believe me, Cas is in no way a virgin," Sam added. "They screw like bunnies."  
Castiel's face was a deep red, and Charlie and Anna both laughed hard at it.

Dean shook his head. "Hey now, ease up, will you? I think Cas' head will burst soon. I'd like my husband alive."  
Castiel made a whining noise and buried his face in Dean's shoulder.  
Charlie chuckled. "It's all right Cas, what's graduation without a little humiliation?"

Dean wrapped his arm around Castiel. "Well then, when are we gonna humiliate you?" He grinned at Charlie.  
"I'm being seen with you, right?" She teased.

"Oi, be nice or I'll put you in the trunk," Dean laughed.

"That is Charlie being nice," Anna chuckled.

"She shows her love through insults," Gabriel said, then looked at his watch. "Well, lovlies, I have to go. It was really good seeing you all."

"Bye Gabe," Castiel lifted his head from Dean's shoulder.  
"I'll see you guys at the party," Anna smiled,leaving with Gabriel.

"We should probably leave too. We have to clean and rearrange the furniture to make space," Dorothy said, looking at Charlie.

"Yeah yeah," Charlie made a face, giving them both another hug. "See you later boys!" She winked, taking Dorothy's hand as they walked off.

Dean smiled and waved after them. "Well then, we should probably get going, too."

"Where are we going?" Sam asked as they started making their way back to the car.

"Well, unless you can guess, then you'll just have to see." Dean grinned.

"Ummm....Biggersons." Sam replied.

"... Wow. It blows my mind just how highly you think of me," Dean said, looking very unimpressed. "You really think I would take you there, today of all days?"

"Calm down, Dean, Iw as just teasing." Sam replied.

Dean just huffed, and unlocked the car when they reached it.

Castiel slid into the passenegr's seat. "I am very curious," he admitted.

"We're going to a place that doesn't have burgers on the menu," Dean told them.

Sam's eyebrows shot up in real surprise. Burgers were Dean and Castiel's favourite foods, so it was very strange to hear him say that.  
"You've definitely intrigued me," Castiel replied.

Dean chuckled as he started the car. "Didn't see that coming, huh?" he said, amused.  
"Definitely not," Jess replied, suprise written on her face. 

"It sounds like we're in for a real surprise." Sam commented as Castiel made himself comfortable against Dean's side.

Dean just hummed as he got the car back on the road and started driving.

Castiel smiled, and looked at his diploma as they drove, still marveling that he had gotten through college.

Dean smiled as he glanced at his husband. They drove for a while, but eventually he slowed down and parked outside a nice, french restaurant. 

Both Sam and Castiel's jaws dropped. "Dean... You need to make reserve rations at least two months in advance to come here..."

Jess blinked, then stared at Dean.  
Dean just grinned. "Uh, yeah, I know. Otherwise we wouldn't be here, now would we?"

Castiel grinned widely, and gave Dean a huge hug.

Dean chuckled and returned the hug.

"You're amazing," Castiel mumbled into Dean's chest, before giving him a kiss.  
Sam got out of the car, helping Jess out too.  
"I try to be," Dean smiled and kissed back gently. "Now take off that gown and lets head inside."

Castiel got out of the car so he could take off his graduation gown, folding it up nearly and leaving it on the seat, taking Dean's hand and lacing their fingers together as they walked in.

When they were inside, Dean smiled to the hostess as he spoke with her, and then the four of them were taken to their table and given the menus.

"Whoa, looks like those two years of French will come in handy," Sam whistled lowly.  
Castiel chuckled. "Indeed," he murmured, looking over the choice and explaining to Dean what the dishes were.

Jess looked amazed as she looked at the menu, having a bit of a hard time deciding.  
Dean tried not to look too confused by all the foreign words and letters as he listened to Castiel.

Castiel decided on a chicken topped with mushrooms and cheese, on a rice pilaf with roasted vegetables. Sam decided on a salmon dish.

Dean went with a grilled steak with wine sauce, potatoes and fresh vegetables. Jess decided on a beef stew.  
Their waitress for the evening came around to take their food and drink orders.

Castiel ordered a glass of red wine, his favourite alcoholic drink.

Dean also ordered a glass of wine, and Jess decided on water.

Sam got soda, and smiled. "This is amazing, Dean, seriously."  
"Yes, it is." Castiel smiled at his husband.

Dean grinned. "Well, I thought we all deserved something really nice," he said.

Castiel reached to take Dean's hand, squeezing it and smiling. He remembered mentioning wanting to come here to Dean, and he had remembered.

Dean smiled softly at Castiel, and leaned in to press a quick kiss to the corner of his lips.

Castiel smiled, and kissed back. "Well Sam, this is for you too. Congrats for getting through high school!"  
Sam smiled. "Thanks guys."

Dean grinned. "It's awesome to think about the fact that you'll be going to Stanford, and that you'll have Jess with you... Mom and dad would be really proud of you, Sam. I'm proud of you."  
Jess smiled as put her hand over Sam's.

Sam smiled. "Thanks...but I have you and Cas to thank for that, for getting me through everything. You were more of a father to me than Dad ever was, Dean. So, I'm proud of you too." Sam gave his brother a huge smile, squeezing Jess' hand.

Dean's expression softened while his back straightened just a little, and he smiled warmly at his little brother. He laced his and Castiel's fingers together.

Castiel squeezed his hand gently, a silent agreement with Sam, who was smiling just as warmly back. There was something about the untreatable bond the two brothers shared that shone in that moment.

The comfortable silence was soon broken with pleasant, small talk until their drinks and food arrived.

Castiel said his prayers before they dug in, Castiel's face clear he was having a mini-orgasm when he tasted his food.

Dean couldn't help but chuckle as he saw his husband's face, and gently nudged Castiel's foot with his own.

"This food is perfect." Castiel replied, nudging back againstDean's foot.

"Should I be jealous?" Dean asked, grinning.  
Jess giggled quietly. 

"Maybe a little," Castiel teased, taking another bite.  
Sam chuckled, and ate his own food. "Oh god...he's not lying..."

Jess hummed happily after her first bite. "It really is delicious."  
Dean smiled before he tasted his food, pleased with himself that he'd brought his family there.

Castiel continued to eat happily, enjoying his meal fully.

Dean looked at the other three enjoying their meals, while he ate his own.

Sam finished his meal first, and leaned back with a smile. "Dean, this was an amazing choice. Thank you."

"It's nothing," Dean said, smiling softly as he continued to eat.

Castiel smiled, taking Dean's hand and squeezing gently. "I love you," he murmured.

Dean smiled back at Castiel. "I love you too, Cas."

Sam smiled, and kissed Jess' cheek. "You liking your food?" He asked her.

"I love it," Jess said, and turned her head to kiss Sam on the lips.

Sam kissed her back, first her lips and then her cheek. "I love you, Jess. And I wouldn't have gotten this far without you."

Jess smiled. "I love you too Sam," she said softly. 

Castiel finished his food. "Do you guys want dessert, or to save it for Charlie's party?"

Jess and Dean finished about the same time, and Dean shrugged slightly. "I was promised pie at the party, so I don't want any right now. Do you?"

"Apparently their chocolate mousse is to die for," Sam replied. "And we may as well get one, since we're here."

"I really want to try some of that mousse," Jess said.  
Dean nodded, then looked at Castiel with a raised brow.

"I wouldn't object to trying it either," Castiel said.

"All right, then let's get you guys some mousse."

The waiter came by a little later, and Castiel ordered the dessert.

Dean rested his hand on Castiel's thigh after the waiter left.

Castiel fit his hand over Dean's and smiled softly.

Dean smiled, and leaned closer to kiss Castiel's cheek.

Castiel smiled, and leaned into his husband. "Thank you for this, truly." He murmured.

"It's nothing, really... You guys deserve the best," Dean murmured back.

Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean's cheek.  
The waiter brought the dessert and four spoons tot he table, giving them a smile before leaving.

"Ooh, it looks amazing," Jess said, smiling widely at the sight of the dessert.

Castiel smiled, and passed out the spoons for everybody. There was enough for each of them to get two spoonfuls.  
Sam took the first one, letting out an almost lewd groan before passing it to Jess.

Jess giggled at Sam's reaction before she took a spoonful, and seemed to melt in her seat before she passed the dessert to Castiel.

Castiel took his, and groaned softly before passing it to Dean.

Dean looked a bit sceptical, but tried it anyway and looked surprised. "... Well, this isn't so bad," he admitted.

"It's amazing." Castiel murmured, still savor ring his spoonful.

Dean hummed and passed the mousse back to Sam.

Sam took his last spoonful, and smiled happily, giving it back to Jess.

Jess chewed on her lip, hesitating, before taking her last spoonful, savoring it as she passed it over to Castiel.

Castiel took half of the remaining dessert, letting out a soft, pleased noise as he gave the rest to Dean.

Dean finished off the last bit of the mousse with a smile, not regretting his decision to have a taste.

Castiel hummed happily. "This was wonderful. Thank you," he smiled.  
"Sam smiled too. "So, we heading to Charlie's next?"

"Yeah, that's the plan," Dean said with a nod. "You wanna drive?" He looked at Sam.

Sam's face lit up. "Can I?" He asked, eager.

Dean laughed. "Yeah, you can. Gotta be gentle with my Baby, though."

"Of course!" Sam grinned happily.   
Castiel chuckled. "Jess, you get shotgun then."

Jess smiled brightly. "Really? Thank you!"  
Dean grinned. "You're like two excited puppies," he commented.

Sam grinned happily, and Castiel chuckled.  
The waiter returned. "Is this all together, or separate?" He asked.

"It's all together," Dean said, smiling.

The waiter nodded, and returned with their check, handing it to Dean.

Dean thanked the waiter, then paid for their food and left a tip, and handed the car keys over to Sam.

Sam smiled, and they all went out to the car, Sam sliding into the drivers seat. "And you know the rule, Dean, for the Impala..."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole. But I own the car, remember that," he said, and slipped into the backseat.  
Jess smiled as she got into the passenger seat. 

Sam chuckled, and put on his favourite radio station (careful to stay away from Justin Bieber).

Dean did his best to ignore Sam's choice of music, and pulled Castiel close.

Castiel smiled and chuckled as Sam and Jess sang along to the music. "You made his night," he murmured.

Dean smiled. "I'm his big bro. I have to take care of him," he whispered.  
Castiel chuckled. "He looks up to you so much." He whispered back.

"... He's my little brother, so of course he does, " Dean mumbled, glancing over at his brother.  
Castiel chuckled softly. "I love you too," he smiled.

Dean smiled as he turned to look at his husband again, and kissed him sweetly.  
Castiel kissed him back, and bumped their foreheads sweetly.

Dean smiled wider, his arm wrapped around Castiel.  
Castiel smiled softly, and kissed him again. "Thank you for dinner. So much." He whispered.

"Really... I've told you, it's nothing," Dean said, smiling.   
Castiel smiled back  
Sam pulled the Impala into Charlie's driveway music able to be heard from outside.

Dean grinned as he got out of the car and stretched a bit. "Sounds like they've already started."

Sam chuckled, giving Dean back the keys after he locked the Impala up. "Sounds like fun!"

"Yeah, it does. Though, I wonder if they'll even hear us," Dean said as they walked up to the door and rang the bell.

Nina opened the door a few minutes later, clearly buzzed. "Hey guys!" She grinned. "GABRIEL, they're here!" She called over her shoulder.

"Took them long enough!" Gabriel yelled back. "Get them in here!"  
Anna took Castiel and Dean's arms, pulling them inside.  
"Hey guys!" Charlie greeted, shoving a piece of pie into Dean's hands and a glass of some kind of drink into Castiel's. "Enjoy the party!"

Dean grinned at Charlie. "Awesome! Thanks, Charlie."  
Dorothy went to greet Jess and Sam, and pulled them to the kitchen to let Gabriel fix them a drink each.

Castiel tasted the drink he had been given. "Wow, I can't even taste the vodka." He commented, offering it to Dean for a sip.

Dean took a sip, and blinked in surprise. "Huh. Now that's some fine drink mixing skills."

Castiel nodded, taking another mouthful. "Gabriel is dangerous, that much is certain."

Dean took a bite of his pie. "... He probably could kill someone by mixing poison in the drinks."

"Probably," Castiel agreed. There were a few other people at the party. Chasity, Zeke, Hector, and Amelia were all sitting in the living room, playing spin the bottle truth or dare.

Two guys, Michael and Luke, were watching the group play while drinking beer. Gabriel ushered Jess and Sam out of the kitchen once he'd given them their drinks.

Castiel laced his fingers together with Dean as they went over. "Hey guys," he greeted.

"Hey Cas," most of them said at the same time.  
"That's your man?" Luke asked, motioning to Dean.

Castiel nodded. "This is my husband, Dean Winchester. Dean, this is Michael, Luke, Chasity, Zeke, Hector, and Amelia." He pointed to each one in turn.

"Hey," Dean said, smiling at the group.  
"You guys wanna join our game of truth and dare?" Chasity asked, blinking flirtily at the two of them, her cheeks flushed from alcohol.

"I don't see why not. Dean?" He asked, looking at his husband.  
"C'mon boys, it's a lot of fun~" Amelia sing-songed.

Dean shrugged. "Sure, all right."  
Chasity grinned and threw her arms in the air. "Great!"

Castiel and Dean took a seat in between Hector and Zeke.  
"Okay, so basically you spin the bottle, and ask the person it lands on truth or dare," Amerlia explained, spinning the bottle in the center. It pointed at Hector. "Hector, truth or dare?"

Hector took a sip from his drink before he answered. "I think I'll go with dare," he said.

"Mkay...I dare you to give Luke a lap dance." Amelia giggled.

Hector looked mildly horrified. "Can I change my mind and go with truth?"  
"Don't tell me you're scared, Hector. Come to daddy and show him some love," Luke said, patting his thigh.  
Chasity giggled so much she almost fell over.

Amelia laughed. "Sorry Hec, a dare's a Dare! Fine, you can give Luke or Mike a lap dance, your pick of the brothers."

Hector downed the rest of his drink and grumbled as he got up on his feet. "Fine. Luke, sit your ass down."  
Luke winked at him, then took a long drink of his beer before sitting down on the couch.

"Michael and Luke are twins," Castiel murmured to Dean, finishing his own drink and already buzzed.  
Michael chuckled. "Good, because your ass wouldn't have touched me."

Dean nodded at Castiel's words.  
Hector huffed. "Yeah, I know, why do you think I picked Luke?"  
"Speaking of me, I'm waiting," Luke said. Hector hesitated, before he got onto Luke's lap and got the lap dance over with.

Amelia was laughing hysterically at the disgusted look on Hector's face and the exaggerated sexy look on Luke's. Once it was done, she chuckled. "All right, you spin the bottle."  
Zeke chuckled as well, leaning back on his arms. "Looks like Luke enjoyed that particular dare."  
"Oh, shut up," Hector growled as he sat back down, clearly embarrassed. He spun the bottle, and it pointed at Zeke. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth, I'm not stupid." Zeke grinned.

"... If you could have sex with anyone at this party, who would you do it with?" Hectore asked.

"Hmmm....that cutie over there." He replied, nodding at Sam.

"Sorry dude, my brother's straight, and taken by that cute blonde lady," Dean said.  
"Oooh, that's your brother?" Chasity asked. "He really is cute!"

"Well, he's cuter than any of these idiots." Zeke replied, spinning the bottle and landing on Dean. "Truth or dare?"

"Let's go with truth," Dean said.

"What is your hottest fantasy?" Zeke asked. "One that you haven't shared with your husband yet."

"... Well aren't you a couple of sex crazed bastards," Dean said, eyes flickering to Castiel and then down at the floor. "Uhm... Well, I..."

"C'mon Dean," Amelia teased. "You weren't here when Zeke spilled his guts about how he lost his virginity, detailed. Trust me, it cannot be worse than that.

Hector made a face. "That scarred me for life," he said, making Chasity laugh.  
Dean licked his lips nervously. "My hottest fantasy... I guess it'd be... Having a threesome with Steve Bacic or Hugh Jackman."

"I would not say no to that," Castiel chuckled, wrapping an arm around Dean's waist.

Dean's cheeks turned pink and he cleared his throat, ignoring Chasity's "Aww, you two are so cute!". He spun the bottle, and it pointed at Amelia. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare, do your worst," she grinned.

Dean thought about it. "... Make out with Chasity."

"Easy, come here babe," Amelia chuckled, opening her arms.  
"Most of the people here are gay or bisexual, Michael and Anna being the exceptions." Castiel murmured to Dean.

Chasity giggled, and crawled over to Amelia on all four, then sat down on her lap.  
"I see..." Dean murmured back, watching the two girls.

Amelia leaned up to lock lips with the blonde, pressing their bodies together as they made out enthusiastically.

"Holy fuck," Dean whispered.  
"I like your dares," Hector said, staring at the girls.

Castiel decided he wasn't nearly drunk enough for this, and got up to go and get another drink from Gabriel, the girls still making out when he returned. "I think that's enough, don't you? " he commented dryly, sitting back down,

Chasity giggled breathlessly as she broke the kiss, her bleached hair a complete mess. "If you and your husband were us right now, you'd happily make out for hours too," she said.

Castiel just stared back at her. "He's my husband," he pointed out.  
Amelia waited until Chastity was back in her seat before spinning the bottle, landing on a Chastity. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Chastity said in a cheery voice.  
Dorothy appeared behind Castiel and Dean, but only for a moment in order to give Dean a beer, then went back to Charlie.

"Give one of the gay guys here a lap dance, see how they like it." Amelia chuckled. "So no Luke, Hector, or Gabe, since they're bi."

"Ooh... I guess I'll take mr freckles, then," Chastity said, grinning.  
"Woah- Hang on. I'm bi," Dean said before she could get too close to him.  
"... Awwww," Chastity pouted.

Castiel put a possessive arm around Dean.  
"Don't lie and say you're bi too, Cas." Amelia stopped him. "We all know you're gayer than a maypole."

Chastity pouted. "So it's either Cas or Zeke," she mumbled, and looked at the two men.

"Let's make it fair. Have either of you had sex with a woman before?" Amelia asked.  
Zeke nodded. "Wanted to try it out, confirmed for me that Iw as gay."  
Castiel's blush answered the question for him.  
Chastity hummed. "I think I'm gonna go with Cas. Prepare yourself, mr married!"

Castiel looked panicked, looking at Dean.

Dean looked at Castiel, not knowing what Castiel wanted him to do.

Castiel swallowed, and downed the rest of his drink, shuddering and nervous. Chastity was pretty, sure, but he wasn't attracted, not at all. 

Chastity moved over to Castiel and sat on his lap, and gave him a nice but rather quick lap dance.

Castiel's face was a bright red, embarrassed and not at all turned on by the dance.

Chastity couldn't help but laugh at his face when she stopped. "You're so adorable Cas!" she chirped as she hugged him. 

Castiel was too shocked to return the hug, and hid his face against Dean.

Dean chuckled awkwardly and gently rubbed Castiel's back, and when Chastity climbed off and returned to her spot, he offered his beer to his husband.

Castiel downed half of it, deciding he was way too sober for this party in general.

"Easy there, tiger. I'm gonna get you another one of those drinks," Dean murmured, and went to the kitchen.  
Chastity spun the bottle, and it landed on Hector. "Truth or dare?" she asked.  
"Truth. No way am I gonna let you girls dare me again."  
She just giggled. "Okay. Have you ever had an orgy?"  
"No, I have not," Hector replied, and spun the bottle. It pointed at Castiel. "Truth or dare, Cas?"

"Truth," Castiel replied, thinking along the same lines as Hector.

"Tell us about the most crazy sex you've ever had with your husband," Hectore said.

Castiel's cheeks flushed red, and he had to think about it before telling them about their honeymoon, and Angel.

Luke gave a low whistle, clearly impressed.  
Dean came back, and was a bit confused about the looks he and Castiel got when he came back with two drinks.  
Hector grumbled something about "lucky man", but didn't say anything else.

Castiel's cheeks were red, and he gave Dean a kiss when he gave him the drink.  
Castiel then spun the bottle, pointing at Dean. "Truth or dare?" He asked his husband.

"Uh... Dare, I guess," Dean said, thinking that Castiel would go easy on him.

"Give Gabriel a kiss," Castiel chuckled.

Dean looked surprised, then just shrugged. "All right."  
"Gaaaabe!" Chastity yelled. "C'mere!"  
Gabriel came into the living room a moment later. "Am I finally included in your kinky-ass game?"

"I just dared Dean to give you a kiss," Castiel replied. 

Gabriel grinned. "Aww, well aren't you sweet."  
Dean rolled his eyes and took a long drink, then motioned for Gabriel to get closer. Gabriel got closer, but when Dean tried to kiss his cheek, he moved his head and pressed their lips together.

Amelia wolf-whistled, and even Michael couldn't help but chuckle.

Gabriel deepened the kiss a little, then pulled away with a smirk.  
Dean was a bit torn about what to think, but wasn't as scarred as he thought he'd be. 

Castiel immediately pulled Dean in to claim his husbands lips in a deep kiss.

Dean made a surprised noise at the sudden kiss, while the others laughed or wolf whistled.

Castiel smirked once the kiss broke. "Sorry, needed to reclaim what's mine."

Dean blinked, then chuckled softly. "I don't mind," he said.

"C'mon Dean, spin!" Amelia urged

"Okay okay," Dean said, and spun the bottle, and it landed on Zeke. "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," Zeke smiled.

Dean looked at Amelia and Chastity. "Do either of you girls have any lipstick in your purse or whatever, that you could use on him?"

Amelia grinned. "Yes, yes we do. What do you have in mind?"

"Go crazy, give him some nice colorful lips and draw on his face if you like."

Amelia grinned, and went to town on making up Zeke's face, who took it with a grain of salt.

Hector laughed. "Looking reeeeaaal pretty over there, Zeke."

Zeke made a face, before spinning the bottle and landing on Chastity. "Truth or dare?"

"I've done a lot of dares, so... Let's go with truth!" Chastity smiled.

"Would you have sex with Dean and Cas, if you had the chance?"

Chastity look at them. "... Yeah, yeah, I totally would," she replied honestly.

"Even though Cas is still a woman-virgin?" Amelia asked.

Chastity waved dismissively with her hand. "Meh. If we'd go the easy way, then Cas could fuck Dean while Dean takes me - problem solved."  
Dean choked on his drink.  
Chastity giggled. "But if Cas wanted to try, it's not like it would be the first time I got it on with a guy who hasn't been with a girl before."

Castiel's face was a bright red, and he choked on his own drink.

"I don't think that'd work though. From that crazy sex thing earlier... Cas sounds like he's the catcher, while Dean's the pitcher," Hector said.  
"... Uh, what?" Chastity blinked, confused.

"Cas is the bottom. Dean fucks him, not the other way around." Amelia supplied.  
"We take turns," Castiel replied. "Although I do prefer to...catch." his face was bright red with embarrassment and alcohol.

"... And I just like sex in general. Doesn't really matter who does what," Dean added, biting his lip and glancing at the floor.

"What do you think, Cas? Want to lose your female-virginity?" Amelia asked. "I'd be willing to help too."  
Castiel's face was a bright red, and he looked at Dean.

Dean looked back at Castiel, looking a bit curious about what his husband would say, but also looked like he didn't know what to think of himself.

"I...I'm curious." he admitted. "But...it's up to Dean. He's my husband, and I don't want to feel like I'm cheating on him."

Dean shrugged slightly. "It's not like you're going behind my back. If you really want to try it, well... I don't see why not."

"You would have to be with me," Castiel replied.  
"Whoo! Foursome, you in Chastity?" Amelia asked.

"I've always wanted to be in a foursome," Chastity replied, a bit too happily.  
Dean chuckled, almost awkwardly, and wrapped his arm around Castiel's shoulders.

Castiel bit his lip, embarrassed but too drunk to really think things through.   
Amelia got up, and pulled Castiel to his feet to kiss him on the lips.

"Woah, you guys gonna do it /here/?" Hector asked, bewildered,  
Chastity just giggled, and got to her feet.

"Course not," Amelia replied. "We're going upstairs, just getting started." she winked, pulling Castiel towards the stairs.

Dean got up, and let Chastity hold onto his arm as they followed after Amelia and Castiel, wondering if he'd regret this afterwards or not.


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This entire chapter is the foursome. Skip it if it's not your thing.

Amelia found the guest room with a king sized bed, laying back on it with a giggle. "Cmere Chasity, we'll let Dean warm Cas up for us." she opened her arms for her.

Chastity practically bounced over to the bed and laid down in Amelia's arms, giggling and smiling.  
Dean licked his lips and made sure the door was locked, before he turned to Castiel.

Castiel swallowed, clearly looking nervous. "We have condoms, right?" he clarified, before they got started.  
"Yes, we do." Amelia pulled them out to show, before her hand slipped under Chastity's shirt to start playing with a nipple.

Chastity moaned softly, and put her hand on Amelia's thigh.  
"Good, good..." Dean nodded, then took a deep breath and grabbed Castiel by the hips to gently pull him closer.

Castiel pressed against Dean, leaning up to kiss his husband deeply.  
Amelia smiled, and started kissing at Chastity's neck as she pinched and played with her nipple.

Dean moved his hands to Castiel's back and kissed back, rubbing his hands slowly over Castiel's back.

Castiel kissed him, his hands rubbing at Dean's shirt.  
Amelia pulled off Chastity's shirt.

Dean nipped gently at Castiel's bottom lip, then ran his tongue along it.  
Chastity smiled, and pressed her leg between Amelia's thighs.

Amelia moaned softly. "Cmon boys, join us on the bed," she coaxed, a hand running through Chastity's hair.

Dean looked at Castiel, and coaxed him gently over to the bed.  
Castiel lay down on his back, nervous.  
Amelia gave him a smile, and kissed him again, one hand sliding down Chasity's body. "We can do all kinds of things...double penetration, a double blowjob...whatever you want, cutie."

Dean laid down on his side beside Castiel, and placed a hand on Castiel's stomach. "Whatever you're the most comfortable with," he murmured.  
Chastity shifted to stand on her knees, removing her skirt and leaving her in only her underwear. "/Anything/."  
Castiel glanced at Chastity, before swallowing and looking back at Dean. "I...am very unsure." he admitted. "How does this normally go?"

"Well... It's a lot like when we do it, only there's no penis, no need for lube, and there's boobs. They're soft and sensitive, so you can't squeeze too hard if you touch them," Dean murmured.  
"Wanna try touching mine?" Chastity asked, smiling.  
Castiel bit his lip, before nodding, and Amelia removed Chastity's bra, revealing her breasts. Her nipples were firm, and she was clearly aroused.

Chastity moved closer to Castiel, and smiled at him. "Don't feel bad if you don't like it, I won't be offended," she said.  
Dean tried not to stare, focusing instead on Castiel.  
Castiel swallowed, and reached up to cup a breast in his hand, feeling the weight and frowning slightly as he tried to figure it out. He squeezed it gently in his hand.

Chastity moaned softly. "Yes, that's good Cas..." she purred softly.   
Castiel looked at Dean, a "help me' look on his face.

Dean smiled a little. "You can play with her nipples, just like I play with yours," he murmured. "Rub them, pinch them, pull them... Just be gentle."  
Castiel nodded, and started to play with her nipple, pinching it gently before rubbing it.

Chastity's moaned again and arched her back.  
"The sides and stomach are usually sensitive too... It's enough to just gently run your hand over her skin," Dean murmured.  
Castiel nodded, but he reached up to press a kiss to her nipple.  
Amelia slid her hand between Chastity's legs, rubbing on the outside of her panties. "You're so wet already," he purred. "Making me wet too..."  
"...wet?" Castiel asked.

Chastity squirmed at first, then tried to press herself into Amelia's hand.  
"Yeah. The vagina produces a sort of natural lubricant," Dean said. "Kind of like... Precome, in a way, if you need an example. Get the girls wet enough, and you wont need lube."

Castiel nodded, and pulled his hand away to watch.  
Amelia slipped her hand down Chastity's panties, rubbing at her clit.

Chastity gasped softly. "Oh- Oh fuck," she moaned.  
Dean chewed on his lip, and carefully moved his hand further down Castiel's stomach.  
Amelia smiled, and kissed up Chastity's back, pulling off her panties and leaving her naked.

Chastity's cheeks turned red as she was exposed, but wasn't shy to show them how wet she was.  
Castiel swallowed. "Can...can I touch?" he asked softly.

Chastity nodded. "Yeah, go ahead.. I promise it won't bite," she giggled, angling her hips a little.  
Castiel swallowed, and reached out, his fingertips gently grazing her lips.

Chastity smiled, her lips yet and swollen with arousal. "Slow and gently is good," she murmured.

Castiel gently rubbed them, his fingers brushing over her clit without realizing.

Chastity twitched and moaned at the feeling.

Castiel yanked his hand back. "Was that okay?" he asked.

Chastity hummed. "You found my clit," she said, angling her hips a bit and using a finger to show him where it was. "Feels really, really good when it's rubbed..."  
"Like when you rub the slit of your penis," Amelia added.  
Castiel nodded, looking at Dean. "You...you have experience..." he murmured. "Can...can I watch?"

Dean bit his lip. "You want me to finger her?" he asked, wanting to be sure.  
"I guess...whatever you do with girls." Castiel replied.

"Okay..." Dean nodded, then motioned for Chastity to get a little closer. He then ran his hands up and down her body, then put his hand between her legs and rubbed his fingers over her wet lips, his thumb resting against the hood of her clit.  
Chastity moaned, some of the motions making his thumb rub over her clit.

Amelia moved to the other aside of Castiel, naked herself. "Cmere, you can practice on me," she offered.  
Castiel hesitantly mimicked Dean's motions, his thumb pressing slightly against Amelia's clit.

Dean continued to rub Chastity's lips, then gently pressed his fingers between them to tease her entrance while rubbing her clit.  
She whined softly and moved her hips down, but he didn't give her more just yet.

Castiel attempted to mimic Dean's movements, but his fingers slipped inside of Amelia to the first knuckle. Amelia moaned, and Castiel's eyes widened. "She's taking two at once, is that bad?"

Dean couldn't help but chuckle. "No, no it's not. Some girls can even take a dick without being fingered beforehand... Depends on the dick and if she's really horny or not," he said, and slowly pushed two fingers into Chastity, who moaned.

Castiel pressed his fingers a little farther, his fingers curling slight as he tried to find a spot similar to a prostate.  
"Not so deep, sweetheart." Amelia murmured. "My sweet spot is. A little more towards the entrance."

"It's really hard to find it, but... You feel how the insides are really smooth? In most girls, the spot kinda has... A rough surface. Like, it's soft but not as smooth as the rest," Dean said.

Castiel nodded, and explored until he felt a slightly rough patch, that caused A,Elia to moan loudly. "fuck, right there..."

Dean gently patted Castiel's thigh with his free hand, then let his hand rest there. He searched for Chastity's g-spot, and rubbed it gently when he found it, making Chastity moan and shudder.

Castiel continued rubbing Amelia's g-spot, causing her to moan and shudder. "Don't forget my clit," she panted.  
Castiel shifted, his other fingers tentatively pressing against her clit, but not rubbing.

Chastity writhed in pleasure as Dean rubbed her clit and g-spot at the same time. "Oh, oh fuck, fuuck," she moaned.

Castiel started rubbing, and felt a new wave of wetness cover his fingers as Amelia came with a cry, gyrating her hips against his hand.

"Wow, that must've been an intense one," Dean commented.  
Chastity shuddered and cried out as she came a moment later, slick running down her thighs and Dean's hand.

Amelia panted and smiled at Castiel, gently pulling his hand away. "I'll be ready to go again in a few minutes," she told him, before looking at Chastity. "I say we repay these boys for such great orgasms, what do you think?"

Chastity hummed, looking very pleased. "I agree. They deserve something nice in return," she said, touching Dean's chest.  
Dean pulled his hand away, and glanced at Castiel.

Castiel swallowed slightly.  
"What do you boys say to a double blowjob apiece?" Amelia purred, moving to straddle Dean and pull his shirt off.

Dean chewed on his lip. "Well, I really wouldn't mind but... Wasn't Cas supposed to be the star of the show tonight?" He smiled, raising a brow.

"We wouldn't make you come just yet, silly boy," she purred, kissing his neck and groping him through his jeans. "Besides, if you lay right next to each other, we can do you both at the same time. And I think Cas'll be a little better if you're going through it with him."

Dean gasped and squeezed Castiel's thigh, where his hand was still resting. "Damn... All right."  
Chastity giggled moved over to Castiel, to run her hands over his torso before she started to remove his suit jacket and unbutton his shirt.

Castiel shuddered. He was slightly aroused, but not nearly as much as he was usually after foreplay. Being with the girls was fun, sure, but it didn't turn him on nearly as much as just being with Dean. As a result, he was only half-hard when Chastity pulled off his pants and boxers with Amelia stripped Dean down.

Dean on the other hand was fully erect, and he did feel a bit ashamed, but tried to be relaxed and to not think about it too much.  
Chastity ran her hands over Castiel's chest and stomach, then slowly moved her hands towards his cock, and gently took it in her hand to stroke it.

Castiel shuddered at the feeling, letting out a soft gasp, hand moving to find Dean's and lacing their fingers together. Her hand felt so different from Dean's.  
Amelia, meanwhile, ran a finger teasingly over Dean's length. "Someone is very excited," she purred.

Dean swallowed and gently squeezed Castiel's hand, his erection twitching.  
Chastity continued to stroke Castiel, her other hand rubbing over his chest, her fingers rubbing over his nipples.

Castiel swallowed, and was slowly hardening under Chastity's attention until he was fully erect.

"There we go," Chastity said, smiling softly. "You got a really nice one, Cas."

"T...thank you?" Castiel stammered.  
Amelia smiled, and shifted so she was between Castiel and Dean. "Let's start with Cas, shall we?" She smiled, her face inches away from his erection.

Chastity giggled, and shifted so that her face was also close to Castiel's erection. "Sounds good."  
Dean looked over at Castiel.

Castiel's eyes were closed, and he swallowed.  
Amelia leaned in to lick a broad stripe up Castiel's length.

Dean brought their hands up to his face, so he could kiss Castiel's knuckles.  
Chastity peppered Castiel's shaft with wet, teasing kisses.

Castiel whimpered, the sensation of two mouths on his cock almost overwhelming.  
Amelia met Chastity at the head, and they started kissing with the tip in between their mouths.

Dean swallowed at the sight, feeling very, very aroused.  
Chastity moaned softly, resting her hand on Castiel's inner thigh, the kiss she shared with Amelia making the tip shiny with saliva.

Castiel shuddered hard, letting out a deep moan at the sensations.  
When the kiss broke, Amelia went back down the shaft to take one of his balls into her mouth, sucking very gently on it.

Chastity swirled her tongue around the head, then moved to suck at the side of his shaft.

Castiel moaned loudly, his thighs beginning to tremble.  
Amelia let go with a wet pop, and shifted over to Dean, kissing up his shaft.

Dean groaned, then bit into his lip and closed his eyes.  
Chastity gave Castiel's length one last lick and a kiss, then moved over to join Amelia and pay attention to Dean.

Amelia kiss up the side of his shaft, once again sharing a kiss with Chastity with the tip between their mouths.  
Castiel was breathing hard, trying to calm himself down a. Little.

Dean tried to keep quiet, but it was hard with two wet, hot mouths on his dick.  
When the kiss broke, Chastity moved down the shaft, licking and gently sucking.

Amelia took the head into her mouth, swirling her tongue and sucking on it.

Dean moaned at the feeling.  
Chastity used her hand to gently fondle his balls, while working on the shaft with her mouth.

Castiel opened his eyes, and watched for a little before he shifted over to kiss Dean's lips deeply.

Dean kissed back eagerly and gently squeezed Castiel's hand again.

Amelia smiled, pulling off. "Careful Chastity, we don't want him to come just yet."

Chastity pouted, but stopped using her mouth and just played a little with his balls. "How are we gonna do it when we get to the real thing?"

"Well, I've always been interested in double penetration," Amelia purred. "And we can let you have Cas first, get him warmed up."

"You're such a kinky girl, but are you sure he'd be able to last?" Chastity looked at Amelia.

Amelia made a thoughtful face. "What do you boys think?" She asked.

"Well, uh... I... Cas?" Dean looked at Castiel, looking unsure.

"I'm not sure what double penetration entails, so..." Castiel replied.

Chastity giggled. "It means that someone takes two cocks at once."

Castiel blushed, looking at Dean. "Have you ever done that before?" He asked.

"Actually, I haven't..." Dean admitted.

Amelia smiled. "I've done anal before, but I bet a gay guy knows a lot better about prep than straight boys..."

"... Well, yeah, it's kinda necessary," Dean chuckled.

Amelia smiled, and got some lube out. "Why don't you break Cas in while Dean preps me?" She told Chastity.

Chastity smiled. "All right," she said, and went to grab one of the condoms they had, then moved over to Castiel.

Castiel swallowed,laying down on his back.

Chastity smiled at him. "It won't hurt, I promise," she said, getting the condom out and then working it onto Castiel's erection.

Castiel nodded, and swallowed.  
Amelia lay back, spreading her legs and exposing herself, giving Dean the lube.

Chastity gave him a few strokes, then straddled his hips to get in position.  
Dean slicked up his fingers with the lube, and reached between Amelia's legs, rubbing his fingers over her hole.

Castiel swallowed, nervous as he felt her press her entrance to his head. "Feels hot...and wet." He whispered.  
Amelia moaned softly.

Chastity giggly. "Yeah... It is." She shifted a little, then started to slowly sink down.  
Dean gently worked the first finger inside of her.

Castiel gasped and moaned, shuddering. "Oh...oh fuck." He moaned loudly.

Chastity moaned too as she sunk down most of the way.  
Dean glanced over at Castiel, while he stretched Amelia.

Castiel's hands moved to her hips. "Oh fuck..." He whimpered, pressing up until he had bottomed out.

"Oh, you're so deep..." Chastity breathed out. "Better be careful if you wanna keep going that deep, cute stuff...."

"What do you mean?" Castiel asked softly.

"You're pretty much pressing against my cervix right now," Chastity smile, and slowly rolled her hips. "But it's okay. Doesn't hurt if you're careful."

Castiel nodded, and groaned as Chastity moved.  
Amelia had her legs spread, easily taking one finger. "You're really good at this..." She smiled, moaning gently and a hand coming down to rub at her own clit.

Chastity continued to just roll her hips.  
Dean chuckled. "Well... Me and Cas got a healthy sex life," he said, working on loosening her up so he could add a second finger. "Got lots of practice."

Castiel moaned. "This is...different, but...okay." He whispered.

Chastity giggled. "I'm happy to hear you think it's not bad..."

Castiel moaned again, shuddering.  
Amelia arced her back. "More, please..." She asked.

Dean added another finger, gently opening her up further, scissoring his fingers and stretching her.

Amelia moaned softly, rocking her hips into Dean as she rubbed her clit, getting even wetter.

"You're taking this really well," Dean said, and soon he was adding a third finger.

"Not my first time doing anal," she chuckled.  
Castiel moaned. "Fuck, I'm close..." He warned Chastity.

Dean smiled a little.  
Chastity made a soft noise and stilled, then slowly lifted her hips until his erection slipped out of her.

Castiel's hand went to hold tight at the base, taking deep breaths to calm down.

"You doing all right over there?" Dean asked, glancing at his husband.

Castiel nodded. "Just have to calm down...got very close." He murmured.

Dean smiled. "All right," he replied, then turned back to preparing Amelia.

Amelia moaned. "I'm ready, whenever you boys are..."

Dean nodded and slowly pulled out his fingers. "How and where do you want us?" he asked.

"Well, it depends. Who wants which hole?" Amelia asked.

Dean looked at Castiel. "What do you prefer, Cas?"

Castiel thought about it. "What we...normally use," he told Dean. Vaginal penetration felt nice, yes, but he much preferred anal penetration.

"All right. Cas gets your ass," Dean said, patting Amelia gently on the thigh.

She nodded. "Cas, come sit at the edge of the bed, spread your legs. I'll reverse cowgirl, and Dean, you can take me from the front. If Chastity sits on Cas' face, then we can all enjoy ourselves and no one gets left out."

Chastity grinned. "That sounds awesome. You ever eaten someone out before, Cas?"

Castiel shook his head. "Why would...eating you be sexually pleasing?"

Dean cleared his throat awkwardly. "Cas. Not literally eating, She means... Like, you know... What I do to you some times."

"Oh." Castiel blushed. "I take it is similar?"

"Yeah, just a whole lot more wet," Dean said.

Castiel nodded, and laid back at the edge of the bed, while Amelia put a fresh condom on him, and lubed him up generously.

Chastity handed Dean a condom and he put it on, feeling a bit weird using a condom for the first time in a long time.

Amelia climbed on top of Castiel, and sank down on top of him, moaning as she was stretched. Her legs spread wide, her lips throbbing.

Dean let her get settled before he reached between her legs to feel her wet lips, to make sure she was wet enough, then moved closer to position himself.

Amelia gave him a smile. "Fill me up, big boy." She purred.

Dean smiled back, and pushed into her with one smooth motion.  
Chastity moved closer, and leaned down to gently kiss Castiel.

Amelia moaned loudly, and Castiel shuddered as he felt Dean pushing against his own length.

Dean moaned quietly, and put his hands on Amelia's hips.  
Chastity carefully moved over Castiel, her knees on either side of his head. "Pinch me and I'll get off," she murmured.

Castiel nodded, and Amelia moaned. "Fuck, you're both so thick and good..."

Dean chuckled breathily. "Good, good..."  
Chastity carefully lowered her hips, her wet lips brushing against Castiel's face.

Castiel's tongue darted out to taste her, licking up her lips and over her clit.

Chastity moaned softly. "Yes, that's good, so good..."

Castiel started to lick her a little more confidently, sucking on her clit.  
Amelia moaned. "Move, please..."

Chastity moaned louder, and reached down to pet his hair.  
Dean nodded, and slowly pulled out, then pushed back into her.

Amelia moaned, and Castiel moaned as well, pressing his own hips up into Amelia.

Dean reached between him and Amelia, and gently circled her clit with his thumb.

Amelia groaned, tightening slightly around the men.  
Castiel groaned, and continued to eat Chastity out, dipping his tongue into her.

Dean moaned and picked up the pace of his thrusts.  
Chastity moaned, and started to play with her own breasts.

Castiel started to thrust into Amelia, alternating with Dean  
Amelia moaned loudly, and clenched down hard as she came, going straight into two consecutive orgasms.

Dean groaned and closed his eyes tightly, gripping Amelia's hips tightly.

Castiel spasmed softly, crying out as he came into the condom, the sensations too much.

Dean thrusted into Amelia twice before he also came, filling the condom and panting softly.  
Chastity moved herself off Castiel's face, and rubbed her own clit until she came with a loud moan.

Amelia slumped on top of Castiel, panting. "Damn...best sex I've ever had." She whispered.

Dean chuckled quietly, and pulled out of her so he could pull off the condom and tie it off.

Amelia moved off of Castiel, who did the same.

Chastity smiled happily. "Two orgasm in one night... That's rare."

Castiel was panting softly, still laid out on the bed.  
Amelia chuckled, giving both men a kiss on the lips.

Dean smiled at the kiss, then moved to give Castiel a kiss.

Castiel kissed his husband, wrapping his arms around him.s

Dean deepened the kiss a little, and held Castiel close.

Castiel smiled when the kiss broke. "Vaginas are strange." He murmured.

Dean laughed softly. "Maybe they are," he said.

"I don't really like them," he admitted.

Dean kissed Castiel again. "That's okay."

Castiel cuddled close. "Thank you, for letting me at least try..." He whispered.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and held him tight. "Anything for you."

Castiel hugged back. "Did you enjoy yourself?" He asked.

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I did. It was fun. Nice to try something new. But I think I prefer to have you for myself."

Castiel nodded, holding Dean close. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, kissing Castiel again.

"You two are adorable," Amelia smiled.

"Why, thank you," Dean chuckled softly, looking over at the girls.

Amelia smiled, getting dressed again. "Thank you both, for some amazing orgasms."

Chastity went ahead and got dressed too. "They really were amazing."  
"Good to know," Dean said, smiling.

Castiel chuckled. "Sorry if I wasn't any good."

"For a gay guy, you were totally fine," Chastity grinned.

Amelia smiled. "Agreed." She kissed both of their cheeks before heading back downstairs.

Chastity blew them both kisses, before following Amelia.  
Dean looked at Castiel when they were alone. "... You must've corrupted me, because that wasn't as good as I thought it'd be."  
Castiel tilted his head. "I would be insanely jealous if you enjoyed it more than when it's just me," he replied.

Dean chuckled. "That would never happen, Cas," he murmured, kissing Castiel's nose.  
Castiel smiled. "Good," he murmured, nuzzling into Dean's neck.

Dean hummed and kissed the top of Castiel's head.  
"Wanna head back downstairs?" Castiel murmured.

"Yeah. The night is still pretty young," Dean said, smiling. "And there's pie and free drinks."  
Castiel chuckled, giving Dean one last kiss before getting up to get dressed.

Dean got up too, and stretched lightly before getting dressed as well.  
Castiel smiled softly, giving Dean his hand as they went downstairs.


	57. Chapter 57

Charlie wolf whistled when she saw them.

Dean chuckled and shook his head. "Hi to you too, Charlie. Are there any drinks left?"  
"Of course there is," Anna replied. "Gabriel's still in the kitchen, playing bartender."

"Awesome." Dean grinned, lacing his and Castiel's fingers together and gently pulled his husband to the kitchen.  
Castiel's face was red. "...they heard us, didn't they?"

Dean shrugged. "I dunno. But if they did, it doesn't look like anyone minded it too much..."  
Castiel blushed a little harder as they went into the kitchen.

Gabriel looked at them and winked. "Hello there, tigers."  
Castiel turned red. "Shut up Gabe." He muttered.

Gabriel laughed, and started mixing a drink. "You're adorable, Cas."  
Castiel hid his face against Dean's shoulder.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head.  
Castiel only removed his face so he could take the drink that Gabriel gave him, and take a large mouthful.

"So, tell me, Cas... When were you going to tell us that you and your husband were so kinky?" Gabriel asked, smirking, and started on another drink.

"Shut up, Gabe." Castiel mumbled.

Gabriel rolled his eyes and shook his head. "So when are you two moving, Mr. Grumpy?"

"This Friday," Castiel replied. "Since we have to move Sam on Wednesday."

Gabriel handed the new drink to Dean. "Will you guys need any help or will you be okay?"

Castiel looked at Dean. "What do you think?"

"Well... We could manage it on our own, but... I guess some help would be nice," Dean said.

"An extra car would be really nice, saves us a few trips," Castiel pointed out.

Gabriel grinned. "I don't have anything planned, so I'd be happy to help. Bet one or two of the other guys would help too, if you pout and blink a little."

Castiel flipped him off.   
"Or you could give Luke a lap dance. He would trip over himself helping you if you did that," Charlie teased, having entered the kitchen.

Dean made a face. "I dunno, he's kinda creepy."  
Gabriel laughed. "He's not as creepy as he is totally weird and sometimes a whiny asshole."

"Sometimes?" Castiel replied.

"Okay, okay, most of the time. But he's even worse when he hasn't gotten laid in like, over a week," Gabriel said.

"Tell me about it. Luke's real name is Lucifer, like, dead serious Lucifer." Castiel told Dean. "His parents were religious too, and I guess having twin boys meant naming them after the heavenly brothers."

"What? Seriously?" Dean's eyes were wide. "Oh damn, that's got to suck a whole lot..."  
Gabriel smirked. "He really hates his name, but he has the most fun reaction whenever you call him Lucy. Keep in mind, though, he might just beat you up."

"That "might just" is a definitely yes, so please don't do it." Castiel told Dean.

"Not planning on it, don't worry..." Dean made a face. "Now he's even more creepy. What's Michael like, then?"  
"Mike's like... It's hard to believe they're brothers, to be honest," Gabriel said.

"Michael's a lot more uptight, he has a path in life and any deviation from it is like torture to him." Castiel replied.

"Let me guess... Finished college, get a job, find a girl, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence?" Dean raised a brow.  
"Pretty much. Goes to church every Sunday. Drinks, sure, but I've never seen him drunk." Gabriel shook his head. "I don't even know if he's had sex or not."

"Probably saving it for his wedding night," Charlie pointed out.

Gabriel shook his head. "It's gonna be one awkward night for the newly weds..."

Castiel chuckled. "It's good to save some sort of first for your wedding night."

Gabriel blinked and raised a brow. "... Now you've got to tell me what the two of you did."  
"We stopped using condoms," Dean said with a small shrug.

"Wait, you guys were still using condoms even when you were engaged?" Charlie asked.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Don't really have an explanation for it, we just did."

"Habit, I'm thinking." Castiel replied. "And it felt good to save something for our wedding night, since every other first had been done already."

"Every other first?" Gabriel asked, looking at them. "You two gotta tell me what these "firsts" are."

Castiel stuck his tongue out. "You'll have to get me drunker than this."

"Is that a challenge?" Gabriel grinned widely.

"Your drinks are already dangerous enough, Gabe." Charlie replied. "Since you can't taste the alcohol."

"Hey, I had to find some way to keep the parents off my back when I still lived at home," Gabriel said. "And I wouldn't make them that much stronger..."

Castiel took a sip of his drink. "I'm already loose-lipped enough. Dean can tell you, I rarely ever talk about our sex life."

"He blushes like crazy as soon as our sex life is mentioned, pretty much," Dean said.  
"Aww. How adorable," Gabriel chuckled.

Castiel flipped him the bird, leaning into Dean, definitely drunk, but not completely wasted

Dean laughed. "Yikes. You're a bit hot headed tonight, aren't you?" He smiled, gently patting Castiel's hip.

"I'm drunk and...well, no longer horny." Castiel declared.

Dean smiled. "So you're gonna sleep well tonight, huh?"

"Only if you're next to me," Castiel replied, nuzzling into Dean's neck.

"You two are definitely sweeter than my candy right now," Gabriel commented.

Castiel replied with giving Dean a deep kiss on the lips.

Dean kissed back, arm around Castiel's waist. Gabriel just rolled his eyes at them.

Castiel grinned when the kiss broke. "Cmon, let's join everyone else."

Dean chuckled and grinned too. "Yeah, let's," he said, and then they went back to the living room.

Zeke wolf whistled. "How'd it go?"  
"I am gay, no questions." Castiel replied.

"Seems like you were good though, judging by the the girls' faces when they came back," Hector commented.

Castiel blushed slightly. "I'd say it was more because of Dean than me."

"I just helped you a little, but you did good," Dean said, smiling at Castiel. 

Castiel was red, but he sat down on the couch next to Luke. "What are you guys up to now?"

"We're pretty much just talking about everything and anything... But mostly sex," Luke said, grinning.

"Of course you were," Castiel replied, taking another swig of his drink.

"It's fun to hear about everyone's terrible sex experiences," Hector said.

"Like the time the guy I was with couldn't get it up, even after two viagras." Zeke added.

"Seriously? Damn, that's terrible," Dean said.  
"Sure is. C'mon you two, share some terrible stuff with us," Luke grinned.

"I don't really have any stories." Castiel replied. "Dean was my first."

Luke looked baffled. "What?"  
Hector laughed. "Reality to Luke, not everyone has a new fuck buddy every month."

Castiel chuckled. "I mean, apart from tonight, I've had no other partners."

"Damn... Dean, dude, don't tell me Cas was your first and only," Luke said.  
Dean shifted from one foot to the other. "Well, uh... He's the first and only guy I've had sex with."

"So you've had girls?" Michael asked.

"Yeah... Lots of them. I was, uh... I was kinda popular in high school. Captain of the football team and all..." Dean awkwardly rubbed his neck.

"He definitely knows his way around a woman's body," Amelia winked.

Dean smiled a little, but didn't comment as he sipped his drink.  
"So, anyone got any other horror sex stories that we can laugh at?" Hector asked.

"I once had a guy who had a micropenis." Amelia said. "He was literally an inch and a half when erect."

Luke laughed loudly. "How the hell did you end up with a guy like that? Did he have a sock in his pants?"

"He was sweet, and I didn't know what to say when we got into bed. I literally didn't feel anything."

"That's an epic fail right there. Poor guy though, can't really do anything about it," Chastity said. "Have you ever had someone with a monster dick?"

Amelia giggled. "Biggest I had had to be about nine inches. What about you, Luke? You must have dozens of stories to share."

Luke chuckled. "I've got quite a few, yeah. Like that one time that I took a really hot, slightly agressive guy to bed, and he managed to get the tip in before he fell asleep."

Castiel snorted, and Amelia laughed.

"And then there was this girl who puked when she tried to give me head..."  
"Ew, gross!" Chastity wrinkled her nose.

"That's disgusting," Charlie commented.

Luke grinned. "Yeah, I know."  
Hector huffed. "I bet you have a poop story too. And no, we do not want to hear it."

"What about you, Hector?" Amelia asked.

"Well... I got one which is more funny than bad. I met this girl... She was hot as hell. But when we started making out, I felt something poking me, and guess what? She was actually a guy!" 

Amelia laughed. "Did you still sleep with them?"

"Well, d'uh. She- he, whatever, was still hot as hell." Hector rolled his eyes.

Castiel chuckled, finishing his drink, clearly getting drunker. He leaned over on Luke, resting his head on his shoulder.

Luke grinned as he looked at Castiel.  
Dean pretended not to notice, and focused on the conversation the others were having about bad and funny sex experienes.

Castiel yawned and stretched, his head ending up in Luke's lap. "Scomfy." he murmured.

Luke chuckled and continued to grin as he started to pet Castiel's hair. "Awesome. Lay there as long as you'd like."  
Dean clenched his jaws, then downed his drink and went to get another.

Castiel lay in Luke's lap until Dean came back, at which point Castiel sat up to pull his husband down on the couch too, cuddling with him.

Dean felt a little better when Castiel cuddled with him, and put a possessive arm around Castiel.

Castiel nuzzled into Dean's chest, always more cuddly the drunker he got.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head.  
"Well aren't you two just adorable," Luke commented.  
"Yes, we're very adorable," Dean replied. 

"I think I'm adorable." Castiel murmured.

"You are adorable, Cas," Dean said, kissing his hair again.

Castiel leaned up to kiss his husband's lips.

Dean smiled, and gently kissed Castiel on the lips.

Castiel shifted so he was sitting in Dean's lap.

"Woah, guys, no sex in the living room," Hector said as he saw them.

"I'm just cuddling Hec, calm down." Castiel replied.

Hector put his hands up in the air, and said nothing else.

Castiel nuzzled his face into Dean's neck.

Dean quietly sipped his drink and slowly rubbed Castiel's lower back.

"You know Dean, you ended up with quite a cutie. How much competition did you have for him?" Zeke asked.

"Back home in Kansas, there wasn't any competition. But here in California there has been... People are a lot more open here. So there's a person every now and then who shows interest in Cas," Dean said.

"I can name one," Amelia chuckled, glancing at Luke.

Luke pretended not to notice.  
Dean made a face. "The worst thing is that he's kinda... Oblivious to it."

"M not." Castiel protested mildly.

"You are. You never notice it when people look at you like they want to eat you up."

"M not that desirable." he muttered, yawning, his eyes closed.

"Shush. You know that's not true," Dean murmured.

Castiel just grunted before falling asleep in Dean's lap.

Dean huffed softly. "Love you too, grumpy," he mumbled.

Amelia chuckled. "He really is a cutie, huh Luke?"

"Yeah, he really is," Luke agreed, glancing at Castiel before focusing on his beer again.

Amelia chuckled. "He also has a very nice cock. I'd say like seven inches? And nice and thick too."

Dean raised a brow as he glanced between Amelia and Luke.  
Luke was looking at Amelia. "Is that so..."

"Yep." She popped the P. "Oh, don't look at me like that Dean, your cock is bigger."

"That's not why..." Dean started, then sighed as he decided it wasn't worth it.

Amelia just giggled.  
Castiel snored softly against Dean's neck, completely passed out.

Dean gently patted Castiel's back. "Anyone seen my brother? The one with the floppy hair?"

"Yeah, he went out back with that blonde chick." Zeke pointed.

"... Oh. Okay. Better not go after them, then." Dean grimaced at the thought of catching his brother and Jess having sex or something.

Zeke shrugged, and took another drink.

Dean looked down at his husband, and couldn't help but smile softly to himself, tuning out the others for a moment.

Castiel's lips were parted softly as he breathed, his face relaxed and cheeks flushed with alcohol.

Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head, then focused on his drink and waiting for Sam and Jess to come back.

Sam returned half an hour later, his own cheeks flushed with alcohol. "Hey guys!" He grinned waving.

Jess came inside after him, but headed straight to the bathroom.  
"Hey Sammy, what's up?" Dean waved back slightly.

"Hey. Whoa, is Cas passed out?"

"Yeah, and has been for the last half hour... How're you feeling?"

"Pretty good." He smiled. "We crashing here or going home?"

"Depends on how much you're missing your bed," Dean said.

"Depends on how willing you are to let Jess drive, she's the most sober of us."

"... I didn't know she could drive," Dean said.

"She's had her license for two years,"

"Well then... I guess I could let her drive..."

Sam nodded, and they waited for Jess to return from the restroom

Jess came back. "Aww, Cas is sleeping?" she asked, smiling.

"More like passed the fuck out. Wanna drive us home?" Sam asked.

Jess blinked, then gasped. "I can drive the Impala? Seriously?"  
"Eyup," Dean nodded.  
"Gosh, I'd love to. But you better not distract me," she said, looking at Sam.

"Course not," Sam replied.

Dean looked at Castiel, then at Sam and Jess. "We should probably leave now. We got a big day tomorrow, too," he said, and gave Jess the car keys.

Castiel was still passed out, and Sam went to give their farewells to Charlie and Dorothy.

Dean decided to let Castiel sleep. He gently moved Castiel into a better position, then got to his feet and carrying his husband.  
Jess smiled as she headed out to the car.

Castiel didn't even twitch as he was carried out to the car.  
Sam slid into the passenger's seat.

Dean got himself and Castiel into the backseat, while Jess got into the driver's seat. She was a little nervous at first, but after she'd pulled the car out of the driveway, she relaxed as she drove them back to the apartment.

Sam smiled proudly when she parked the car. "You did great, Jess!"

Jess giggled happily. "Thanks, Sam... I admit, it was kinda scary at the start."  
Dean smiled softly to himself, then got himself and Castiel out of the car.

Castiel was out for the night, without question.

They made their way up to the apartment, and Dean headed straight to the bedroom, undressing his husband and then tucking him into bed.


	58. Chapter 58

Castiel woke the next morning when their alarm went off, and immediately went to the bathroom to puke his guts out.

Dean turned off the alarm and rolled out of bed, then went into the bathroom to kneel beside his husband and gently rub his back.

Castiel shuddered. "Fucking Gabriel..." He rasped the moment he could speak again.

"How many of those drinks did you even have?" Dean asked softly.

"Six or so..." Castiel muttered.

"Damn... Let me get you some water and painkillers," Dean murmured and left the bathroom. He returned a moment later with the water and pills.

Castiel was puking again into the toilet when Dean returned.

Dean put the glass and the pills on the sink for later, and kneeled down beside his husband again.

Castiel shuddered when he finished. "I feel like absolute shit, and I can't remember half of last night..."

"... Nothing exciting happened the second half of the night, so, you didn't miss anything," Dean murmured, rubbing Castiel's back again.

Castiel nodded. "...did we have a foursome, or am I imagining things?"

"We did have a foursome," Dean said. "But it was a one time thing with no hard feelings, so I'd suggest to not think about it."

Castiel nodded. "Okay...just trying to figure out what I imagined and not.."

"Yeah, okay..." Dean looked at him. "Though we should focus on making you feel better, first."

Castiel nodded. "Okay...I don't think I'll puke again..."

"All right... Let's fold down the seat and have you sit down," Dean murmured.

Castiel pulled the seat down and sat on the toilet, his head pounding.

Dean got up, and handed Castiel the water and the pills. "Here you go."

Castiel downed the pills. "Thank you..." He murmured.

Dean smiled and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "It's nothing."

Castiel offered him a soft smile. "I love you."

"I love you too," Dean murmured, smiling a bit wider.

Castiel carefully stood, yawning. "Gotta get all dressed up..." He mumbled.

"Yeah, we do. I think I'm gonna take a quick shower before getting dressed though," Dean murmured.

"Mind if I join you?" Castiel asked.

"Not at all." Dean kissed Castiel's cheek. "It'll be much quicker than if we took turns."

Castiel smiled softly, and carefully stood.

Dean went to get them clean towels, then came back and stripped down.

Castiel stripped down as well, and started the water so it was warm when Dean came back.

Naked and towels put aside, Dean helped Castiel into the shower, not wanting to risk him slipping or anything. Then he got into the shower with his husband.

Castiel relaxed under the warm water, standing close to Dean and letting out a Content sigh.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and pulled him close, hugging him.

Castiel smiled and relaxed against Dean, hugging him back.

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel's shoulder.  
"Mmmm...I love you." Castiel murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured.  
Castiel worked on starting to wash himself.

Dean let go of Castiel, and went about washing himself too.  
When they were clean, Castiel kissed Dean sweetly.

Dean smiled, and kissed back gently.  
"And now we get to see Sam walk." He smiled.

"Yeah... Damn. It's hard to believe," Dean said.  
Castiel smiled. "You did a good job with him." He murmured.

Dean smiled. "I didn't do all the work... You, Bobby, Ellen, Jess' parents... You all did a whole lot."  
Castiel blushed slightly. "But you're the one who raised him, before any of us." He pointed out.

Dean chewed on his lip. "G guess..."  
Castiel kissed his cheek. "Just be proud of him." He murmured.

Dean smiled. "Of course I am," he said softly, and gently took Castiel's hand in his own.  
Castiel smiled. "As am I." He murmured, kissing Dean's lips before turning off the water.

Dean carefully stepped out of the shower, then held his hands out to Castiel.  
Castiel room Dean's hands and carefully got out.

Dean gave Castiel a quick kiss, then handed him a towel.  
Castiel wrapped it around himself and dried off carefully.

Dean dried himself off with the other towel, then went into their bedroom.  
Castiel followed, pulling his next-best dress clothes on.

Dean put on jeans and a dress shirt, and since his suit jacket was worn the day before, he put on a tie instead.  
Castiel smiled, adjusting his own navy blue tie. "You look amazing." He smiled.

Dean made a face. "I dunno... But Sam would tear me a new one if I didn't dress up, so I guess it'll have to do."  
Castiel kissed him. "You look gorgeous, don't worry."

Dean smiled softly. "All right. I'll take your word for it."  
Sam was busy fussing over his hair, trying to get it to fall nicely as he ran his fingers through it.

Jess just giggled as she watched him, already having done her makeup and hair.

Sam sighed as he tried to get a lock to stop curling up.

"I do have a hair straightener, if you want help with that," Jess said.

Sam made a face. "No thanks, Jess." He murmured, finally tucking the lock down.

Jess giggled. "Looks like your stubborness worked this time."

"Hey, I'm not stubbourn." Sam replied, turning to lift Jess into the air and into his arms.

Jess squeaked softly in surprise, then smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Of course not. You just never give up," she said.

Sam chuckled. "Much better," he teased, kissing her sweetly.  
Castiel, meanwhile, was making coffee in the kitchen for everyone.

Jess happily kissed back.  
Dean was entertaining himself by playing with Pirate and Daenerys.

The two cats were tumbling over each other. Daenerys would be moving with Sam, and Pirate would go with Dean and Castiel.  
"Coffee's done!" Castiel called out. Sam emerged from his room a few moments later.

Dean got up on his feet and went to the kitchen. Jess followed Sam out of his room. 

Castiel had mugs made for everyone how they liked it, passing them out.

"Thanks," Dean said, and kissed Castiel on the cheek.

Castiel smiled. "Of course. You ready for today, Sam?"  
Sam smiled. "I think so, yeah."  
"It's gonna be fine. The worst thing will be the wait, and it's not that bad," Dean said.

Sam smiled, sipping his coffee.  
Castiel still looked like he had been run over by a truck, but he was clearly making an effort for Sam.  
None of them mentioned Castiel's state.  
Dean got a look at the time. "So, we gotta leave in 15 minutes at the latest."

Sam nodded. "I'm ready to go once coffee's done."

"Me too," Jess said.  
Dean nodded. "Good."

If he was being honest, Castiel would much rather head back to bed. But this was important, and he wouldn't miss it for the world.

When they had finished their coffee, Dean urged the three to make one last check that they had everything they needed, then made sure the cats had fresh food and water before they left.

Castiel got into the backseat, letting Sam ride shotgun with Dean, which they hadn't done almost since Dean and Castiel had gotten together.

Dean smiled as they were all in the car, and gave Sam a gentle pat on the shoulder before he started driving towards Sam's school.

Sam smiled, clearly happy to be sitting shotgun with Dean as they drove.

When they reached the school, Dean parked the car with a huff. "So many parents, and none of them can park..."

Sam chuckled. "What does that make you, then?" he teased as he got out of the car.

"It makes me your awesome brother, who drives the best car ever, and can park said car properly, " Dean said, patting the Impala's roof after he got out too.  
Castiel chuckled. "Yes Jess, I can see Dean having an affair with his car."

Jess giggled, and smoothed out the skirt of her dress. "Glad I'm not the only one."  
Dean huffed, and patted his car once more. "Don't listen to them Baby, they're just a pair of perverts."  
Castiel and Sam both laughed. "It's all right Dean, I've accepted the inevitable." Castiel replied, taking his husband's hand and lacing their fingers together.

Dean rolled his eyes, the grinned. "Awesome," he said.  
Jess grabbed Sam's hand, and then they all walked to where the graduation was to be held.  
Sam kissed Jess sweetly before he had to leave to join the other graduates.  
Castiel followed the other two to some good seats, where they could see everything clearly.

Jess had a camera in her handbag, which she took out so she could take some photos.  
Castiel looked at it. "We really need a camera," he commented to Dean.

Dean blinked as he looked at Castiel. "Oh yeah?"  
He nodded. "For moments like this." he murmured. "And we only have our wedding pictures, really, as far as pictures of us goes."

"I didn't think you liked having your picture taken," Dean said. "But... If you want a camera, I guess we could get one."  
"I'm not overly fond of it." Castiel replied. "But I would like to have some photos of the two of us, to save."

Dean nodded. "Yeah. Something to cry about when we're old and nostalgic." He chuckled.  
Castiel chuckled, lacing their fingers together as he rest his head against Dean's shoulder. "I'll still love you just as much when you have a beer belly and more wrinkles than we can count."

Dean hummed. "You better, cause I'm not letting you go."  
Castiel smiled. "I'm not letting you go either. You're mine, forever and always."

Dean grinned, and kissed the top of Castiel's head. "Till death do up apart."  
"And even then, we won't be." Castiel murmured. "Heaven won't be heaven without you with me."

"Sounds like I have my own personal poet," Dean murmured and chuckled.  
Castiel stuck his tongue out and squeezed Dean's hand as the ceremony started, and they quieted down.

Not much happened during the first part, but things got a bit more lively when the students got called on one by one to step up and claim their diplomas, with families and friends waving and making noise to cheer on the graduates.

They had to wait a while, but eventually "Samuel Winchester" was called.

When they saw Sam get up to accept his diploma, Jess took a photo and waved, while Dean whistled.

Castiel clapped loudly, smiling proudly.  
Sam gave a sheepish smile before he walked off stage.

They settled down, and then waited for things to wrap up.

Once the graduates had tossed their caps, Sam made his way through the crowd over to his family.

Dean waved at Sam when they saw him, and Jess handed the camera over to Castiel before she went to meet Sam halfway and hug him.

Sam hugged her back, lifting her into the air and twirling her. Castiel snapped a few pictures.

Jess grinned happily, then kissed him when she was put down.  
Dean smiled as he watched them.

Sam kissed back happily, and they made their way over to Dean and Castiel. Sam gave both of the other men a huge hug.

Dean chuckled and patted Sam on the back. "Congrats, and good job, Sammy."

"I couldn't have done it without you," Sam replied, grinning widely.

Dean grinned too. "What do you guys wanna do for the rest of the day?"

"Not drink," Castiel replied immediately, still extremely hung over.

Dean laughed softly, and wrapped an arm around Castiel. "All right."

Sam chuckled. "Why don't we head back home, watch a movie and just relax?" He suggested.

Dean nodded. "That sounds good to me."

Castiel smiled, and Sam laced his fingers together with Jess as they made their way throughout he crowd back to the parking lot.

When they reached the car, Dean unlocked it and got into the driver's seat.

Castiel pushed Sam towards the passenger seat again, seeing how much he liked being there.

Dean smiled as he saw Sam get into the passenger seat, and looked at Castiel to wink at him.

Castiel smiled back, knowing how much it meant to both brothers. He relaxed into the leather seat next to Jess, closing his eyes.  
Sam smiled, clearly happy to be next to his brother.

Jess didn't mind since it made Sam happy, and smiled.  
Dean started the car, and then drove them back to the apartment.

On the way back, Sam said "hey Dean? Can we pick up some Cinese for dinner?"

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you want Sammy," Dean said.

Same grinned. "Awesome."  
"You can tell they're brothers," Castiel murmured to Jess.

Jess supressed a giggle, and nodded. "Yeah, I agree."

Castiel chuckled. "You and Sam have been together a long time now, huh?"

Jess smiled. "Yeah, we have, and I couldn't be happier."

Castiel smiled. "You two are good for each other." he murmured. "And...I'm sorry. It's my fault you two have been apart for the last two years."

"It's okay. It didn't change anything between me and Sam. Yes- It's been a roller coaster but we're still going strong, we're happy, we're going to college together... That's all that matters."

Castiel smiled. "I was afraid for a long time you were both going to hate me for it." he admitted.

"I was upset at first, but only because of the fact that he was moving, and you know... Sam was the one who chose to go. If it wasn't for Sam, you and Dean might not have been married," Jess said. "You never forced him to go."

Castiel nodded. "I owe the Winchester brothers...everything." he admitted. "Everything I have now is because of them. I wouldn't even be alive if not for Dean."

"I don't think you owe them anything. While giving you things, they gained things in return." Jess smiled. "Good things."

Castiel flushed slightly. "I...never thought of it that way." he murmured.

Jess giggled quietly, and gently patted his hand. "Maybe now you will."

Castiel gave her a smile. "You are very wise, Jessica Moore."

Jess smiled back at him.  
"What are you shorties smiling about back there?" Dean asked.

"Our handsome men." Castiel replied.

"I bet you're trying to kiss ass because you were talking shit about us," Dean joked.  
Jess laughed softly. "Actually, for once, we weren't."

"What do you mean for once?" Sam teased.  
"It's what Jess and I bond over," Castiel replied with a chuckle.

"Complaining about your bad habits and stinky socks." Jess smiled.  
"Ack, you both wound me terribly." Dean grinned.

Castiel chuckled. "Jess, did you know that Dean likes to wear socks with sandals?" he fake-whispered.

Jess burst out laughing at the fact that Dean let out an offended "Hey!".

Castiel and Sam laughed too. "I'm sorry, I know that was your dirty little secret," he teased.

"I do not like wearing socks with sandals!"  
"Yeah, sure," Jess laughed.

Castiel leaned over the backseat to give Dean a kiss to the back of his neck.

Dean huffed softly, and focused on the road.

Castiel kissed him once more in apology before sitting back.

Dean was quiet for a little bit, before he spoke up. "You two wanna get Chinese too, or should we pick up something else too?"

"Chinese sounds fine to me," Castiel replied.

"Me too," Jess said.  
"All right." Dean nodded, and drove them to their favorite Chinese restaurant.

Sam got his favourite food, shrimp and chicken lo-mein, while Castiel ordered General Taos for himself and Dean.

Jess got fried rice with different meats and vegetables. Dean paid for their food, and with the take out bags put in the backseat with Jess and Castiel, he drove them back to the apartment.

Castiel carried the bags of food up to the apartment when they arrived, holding it high over begging cats.

"Dany and Pirate are so adorable," Jess commented.  
"Yeah... Until you trip over them on your way in," Dean chuckled.

"I just hope they're okay when they're separated..." Castiel murmured, setting the food down on the counter and batting the cats away as he started to get plates and silverware.

Dean loosened his tie and undid the first two buttons on his shirt. "Yeah. But I think they'll be okay... Dany loves Sam to bits, and Pi is my little girl."

Sam chuckled, scooping Daenereys into his arms and kissing the top of her head.

Daenerys purred loudly. Jess smiled, and gently scratched the cat under the chin.

Castiel had to scoop Pirate up and deposit her in Dean's arms to stop her from trying to get the chicken.

Pirate mewed, but stopped struggling when Dean held her to his chest. "I promise you, Pi, you won't be feeling good if you get a taste of that food... It's not for cats."

Sam chuckled, and they waited to put the cats down until Castiel had the food ready.

"You get to choose the movie, Sam," Dean said when the food was served and the cats were on the floor.

Sam hummed thoughtfully. "How about...Little Shop of Horrors?"

"If that's what you wanna watch, then all right," Dean said.

They all settled on the couch, putting the movie on as they all ate their Chinese food.

Dean tried to focus on the movie and the food, but it hit him that Sam was moving out, and then he couldn't stop thinking about it.

Castiel looked up at Dean when he realized how restless his husband was. "Are you okay?" he asked, soft enough that Dean was the only one who could hear him.

"Yeah, just thinking..." Dean said quietly, looking at Castiel and giving him a small smile.

Castiel returned the smile, and slid his hand into Dean's, squeezing it gently and letting his husband know he was there to listen if he wanted to talk.

Dean gently squeezed back, and managed to relax a bit so that he could at least enjoy his food.

Sam had Jess in his lap, content and happy to be with his family as they watched the movie.

Daenerys and Pirate were curled up on their blanket, sleeping. When the food was gone and the movie was over, Dean gathered the dishes and took them to the kitchen.

Sam smiled at Jess. "Wanna go for a walk?" he murmured to her.

"Sure." Jess smiled, and kissed Sam on the cheek.

"Hey Dean! Jess and I are going on a walk." Sam called out to Dean.

"All right! Stay out of trouble!" Dean called back.  
"We will!" Sam called back, making sure he had his phone and keys before they left.  
Castiel went to the kitchen, leaning on the counter and watching Dean.

"What?" Dean asked after a while, his sleeves rolled up and eyes focused on his hands as he washed the dishes.  
"Something's bothering you." Castiel murmured.

"... I wouldn't say it's bothering me, it's just... Well..." Dean sighed.  
Castiel waited patiently for Dean to talk.

"... Sam's moving out," Dean murmured. "I... It's hard to wrap my head around it."  
Castiel moved around the counter to give Dean a hug. "It'll be all right." he murmured. "You did an amazing job with him."

"I know. He's going to be okay. He's gonna be awesome. He'll actually become someone and do something with his life... And I'm gonna miss him," Dean murmured, leaning against Castiel.  
Castiel held Dean close. "He'll only be two hours away," he reminded him. "We'll visit, and celebrate holidays together."

"I know... But it won't be the same..." Dean bit into his lip.  
Castiel pecked his lips sweetly. "He can't stay here forever." he murmured. "But he'll never forget you, ever."

Dean remained silent, staring down at his hands.  
Castiel just held him close. "He loves you, and you love him."

Dean sighed softly and nodded. "Yeah..."  
Castiel kissed his cheek sweetly. "And I love you too."

Dean smiled faintly. "I don't know what I'd do without you..."  
Castiel smiled too. "I don't know either." he murmured. "But we're both here, and both happy."

Dean nodded, and turned so that he could kiss Castiel on the lips.  
Castiel kissed back sweetly, before chuckling slightly as he pulled away.

Dean smiled. "So, how are you feeling right now? Is your head okay?" he asked.

"I still have a headache, but that will go away once I get some sleep."

Dean nodded. "All right. Better go to sleep early then, we got a long day tomorrow."

Castiel nodded, they would be packing the entire day, moving Sam the next day, packing again and then moving themselves.

"... I really wonder how he'll cope with living alone, and how it'll be when Jess gets there," Dean said as he continued with the dishes.

Sam will be fine." Castiel replied. "And you and I are a phone call away if he needs anything."

Dean chuckled awkwardly. "Yeah... Sorry, I'm just worried."

"It's more than all right," Castiel replied, giving Dean a kiss.

Dean smiled softly. "Don't tell Sammy."

"I won't," Castiel promised.   
"Good." Dean grinned.

Castiel smiled, and helped Dean finish the dishes.  
When Sam and Jess returned, Castiel was trying to teach Dean how to play Magic.

Dean wasn't doing too bad, but did scratch his head in confisuion every now and then, not really used to card games that weren't poker.

Sam grinned. "Mind if we join?" He asked.

"Not at all," Dean said.  
Jess smiled as she and Sam joined the married couple.

Castiel handed Sam his deck, and handed Jess the extra one they kept.

"It's my first time, so you guys better be gentle with me," Dean said.

"Oh, we will." Sam grinned, waiting for Castiel and Dean to reset the game,.

When the game was reset, they rolled dice to see which one of them would choose the starting player.

Jess ended up being the first player.

Jess looked at the hand she'd gotten, then put a few cards on the table, officially starting the game.

Castiel went next, playing a few cards and attacking Jess.

Dean was next, and he unsurely played a few cards.

Sam went last, and attacked all of them, taking a life point each.

They continued to take turns, and despite starting to get the hang of the game, Dean was terrible at it.

Sam and Castiel were the closest to winning, and Castiel was purposefully not hurting Dean to keep him in longer.

Dean did stay in the game longer than he thought he would, but eventually he lost.

Castiel and Sam ended up playing a good twenty minutes past when Jess and Dean were out, Sam barely winning

"You finally done?" Dean asked as he looked at them, he and Jess having entertained themselves with their phones while waiting.

Castiel chuckled. "Yep. Sam won on a technicality."

"Huh. Well, congrats, Sam," Dean said, and patted his brother on the shoulder.

Sam chuckled. "You're good at card, Dean, this was..strange."

Dean made a face. "This isn't anything like poker, dude... And I've never watched you and Cas play."

Sam chuckled. "You should play more. And by the way, this is how we feel when we play poker with you."

Dean crossed his arms over his chest and pouted.  
Castiel leaned over to give Dean a kiss. "Do you want to play poker and kick our asses in retaliation?"

"Nah, I'm good," Dean said. "I can kick your asses another day."  
Sam chuckled. "Well, I think we're going to bed." He told them, glancing at Jess.  
Castiel nodded. "Sounds like a good plan, we have a long day tomorrow."  
Jess smiled and nodded. "Yes, we do," she said and got up. "Better get a lot of rest."  
"Yeah," Dean agreed.

They said their goodnights, each couple headin to their respective bedroom.

"I bet they're gonna have some fun," Dean said when he and Castiel were getting ready for bed.  
Castiel chuckled. "Can you blame them?" He replied, stripping down.

"Nah. As long as they use protection, I don't care if they do it all day." Dean stripped down too, then slipped into bed.  
Castiel chuckled, and slipped into bed too. "You would. You like spending time with Sam, after all."

"... Well, yeah, but... It doesn't matter. It's his life."

Castiel nodded, and cuddled close, kissing Dean's lips.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel and kissed back.  
Castiel smiled softly, and kissed Dean again. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean murmured, and smiled back.  
Castiel kissed him once more, before kissing his neck sweetly.

Dean chuckled. "Someone's feeling cuddly," he murmured.  
"Is that so bad?" He murmured.

"No, I love it. Gimme more sweet attention, cuddly husband of mine." Dean smiled as he rubbed Castiel's back.  
Castiel smiled, and fit their bodies flush together as he kissed at Dean's jaw.

Dean hummed happily and closed his eyes.  
Castiel smiled, his hands tracing random patterns onto Deans back.

Dean lightly traced Castiel's spine with his fingers.

Castiel shivered slightly, his fingers moving up to gentle Graze over the back of Dean's neck.

Dean licked his lips, and opened his eyes to look at his husband.  
Castiel smiled, and tangled his fingers into Dean's hair as they kissed again.

Dean smiled into the kiss, and gently rubbed Castiel's lower back.  
Castiel's other hand ran down Dean's side, landing on his hip and pulling them even closer together

Dean deepened the kiss, and slowly moved one hand even lower, to rest it on Castiel's behind.  
Castiel let out a soft noise, pressing back into Deans hand

Dean gently squeezed Castiel's ass and pressed their hips together.  
Castiel let out another noise into Dean's mouth, hardening against Dean's hip.

Dean nipped at Castiel's bottom lip, then sucked on it gently.  
Castiel's breath hitched and he moaned, pulling Dean with him as he rolled over, so he was on his back an d his husband on top of him.

Dean gently nudged Castiel's legs apart, and stroked his pale thighs.  
Castiel gasped softly, his hands moving to take Dean's ass, squeezing gently.

Dean moaned quietly, and pressed his hips flush against Castiel's.  
Castiel whimpered, and moved his hands to start pulling Dean's boxers off.

Dean shifted a bit to help Castiel, and let out a soft sigh when his erection was freed.  
Castiel looked down, and smiled at the sight. "Perfect." He murmured, kissing at Dean's neck.

Dean chuckled softly. "All of you is perfect," he murmured, and started to pull down Castiel's underwear.  
Castiel lifted his hips, his erection freeing and laying against his hips, the tip smearing some precome over his belly.

Dean smiled, and kissed Castiel on the lips as he pressed their hips together.

Castiel kissed back, letting out a soft moan at the pressure and feeling, rocking their hips together.

Dean moaned softly, and slowly ran his hands up and down Castiel's sides and chest.

Castiel groaned, arcing into the touch. His fingers dipped down to tease at Dean's entrance.

Dean's breath hitched. He let his hands remain on Castiel's chest, to rub his nipples.

Castiel moaned softly, arcing his back under Dean's attentions.

Dean kissed his way to Castiel's neck, and sucked a mark on one of his sensitive spots.

"Oh...oh fuck, Dean..." He moaned.

Dean sucked until there was a dark mark on Castiel's skin. "Mine..." he murmured.

"Yours, always yours." Castiel whispered.

Dean pressed their lips together in a deep kiss, and rocked their hips together.

Castiel whimpered. "Need more, please..." He whined in between kisses.

"What do you want me to do?" Dean asked breathily.

"Need to feel your mouth on me, please..." Castiel whimpered. 

"Where do you need my mouth, Cas?" Dean nipped at Castiel's jaw.

"On my ass, my cock, everywhere..."

"As you wish," Dean murmured as he pulled away, and gently pushed Castiel's legs up and towards his chest. 

Castiel bent easily, leaving everything exposed for Dean.

Dean kissed and sucked marks on Castiel's thighs, before moving between them to lick a broad stripe along his erection.

Castiel whined, and gasped as he felt the hot tongue on him.

Dean lapped up some of the precome on Castiel's stomach, then kissed his way down to his husband's balls.

Castiel was squirming and mewling.

Dean sucked one of Castiel's balls into his mouth, and rubbed Castiel's thighs with his hands.

Castiel cried out at the sensation, shivering. "Dean..."

Dean pulled away, and licked his lips as he moved even lower, and teasingly poked Castiel's entrance with his tongue.

Castiel let out a strangled noise, his entrance flexing slightly under the attention.

Dean smiled to himself, and gave the sensitive skin a slow lick.

Castiel was melting, soft noises spilling from his lips.

Dean continued to lick the skin, and pushed his tongue inside every now and then.

Castiel was moaning, shaking apart under Dean's attention.

Dean took Castiel's erection in one hand, and stroked it.

Castiel whined. "Close..." He whimpered.

"Come for me, Cas," Dean murmured, making a slight twisting motion as he stroked Castiel's cock.

Castiel was gone after that, crying out as he spilled over his stomach, slumping down with his legs going back down after he was through, breathing hard.

Dean smiled and got up on his knees, then leaned over Castiel to press a gentle kiss to his forehead.

Castiel opened his eyes and gave Dean a small smile. "How do you want it?" He murmured, kissing Dean's lips.

"Mmh... I want you to use your hands and mouth," Dean replied, kissing back gently.

Castiel nodded, and reached over for their towel to clean himself up first.

Dean kissed and gently nipped at Castiel's ear.

Once Castiel had mopped up the worst of his seed, he gently pushed Dean over onto his back, straddling him.

Dean smiled as he looked up at his husband.

Castiel smiled back, and kissed Dean deeply, his hands sliding down Dean's sides.

Dean kissed back, and ran his hands through Castiel's hair.

Castiel's hands moved, and one grasped Dean's erection firmly, giving it a couple of strokes.

Dean moaned softly into the kiss.

Castiel continued stroking him firmly as he kissed down dean's neck, finding one of his spots and sucking a mark to it.

Dean groaned and arched his back a little. "Fuck, yes..."

Castiel moved back up to his ear. "How do you want this?" He breathed. "I can go down, lick over the tip and swallow it down. Or I can tease your balls, nibble on your scrotum and suck on them. Or I could go down and run my tongue over your ass, eat you out nice and properly."

Dean shuddered, and chewed on his lip. "... It has been a while since you... Uh... At me out. But only if you want to... You know I never say no to a blowjob," he murmured.

Castiel smiled, and gave him a kiss behind the ear before he slid down and spread Dean's legs open wide.

Dean couldn't help but blush, but remained relaxed.

Castiel glanced up at Dean through his lashes before he leaned in to lick a broad stroke over Dean's entrance.

Dean gasped softly and shuddered at the feeling.  
Castiel smiled, and continued licking over the skin, occasion poking his tongue inside and sucking right over the hole.

Dean tried to keep his voice down by biting his lip, precome leaking out of his cock.  
Castiel continued to eat his husband out, but after a while, pulled away and started to lick at the tip of Dean's cock, lapping up the precome.

Dean whined and his cock twitched. "Cas..."  
Castiel smiled, and went down on his husband, relaxing his throat and taking him all the way.

Dean gripped the sheets tight. "Fuck, Cas, I'm gonna-" he groaned, and a moment later, he came down Castiel's throat.  
Castiel swallowed it all down neatly, sucking him through the aftershocks until he was soft. He let go then, and looked up at Dean with a soft smile.

Dean panted softly as he looked at his husband, and reached down to pet Castiel's hair and caress his face.

Castiel leaned into the touch before shifting so they were laying next to each other again. "Orgasms are great cures for headaches." He chuckled.

Dean laughed softly. "I guess we can throw out all the painkillers, then."

"Please don't," Castiel chuckled, kissing Dean softly, his eyes barely able to stay open.

Dean returned the kiss, and wrapped his arms around Castiel. "Good night, Cas."

"Good night," Castiel murmured, falling asleep quickly.

Dean watched over Castiel for a while, before he also fell asleep.


	59. Chapter 59

Castiel woke first to the smell of coffee and Daenerys walking all over them and meowing.

Dean grunted as he got a paw in his face, and tried to gently push Daenerys off.

She just mewed and sat down on his neck, purring.

"No, you stupid cat... You're supposed to get off when someone pushes you," Dean muttered, voice a little strained, then pushed the cat until she moved off his neck.

Castiel chuckled softly, and pressed a kiss to Dean's collarbone. "Good morning."

"No morning is a good morning, Cas," Dean murmured.

"I beg to differ, you enjoy the mornings I wake you up with a blowjob."

"... I stand corrected. The mornings that I don't get some sort of morning sex aren't good. But a kiss from you would make it all better."

Castiel chuckled, and kissed Dean's lips.

Dean smiled, and kissed back gently.

"How's your morning now?" Castiel asked when the kiss broke.

"A lot better. The only thing that would make it better, is sex or coffee," Dean murmured.

Castiel chuckled. "Well, it smells like Sam or Jess made coffee, and I'm not quite in the mood for sex."

Dean smiled, and kissed Castiel's nose. "Coffee it is, then. Want me to bring you some to bed?"

Castiel smiled at the kiss. "As welcome as that sounds, I need to get up. We need to finish packing Sam up."

"Yeah, true..." Dean sighed softly. "It feels weird," he admitted, then stretched a bit before he got out of bed.

Castiel got up as well, stretching before he went to put some clothes on. Short sleeves, since they would be doing a lot of manual labour, but he still felt a little uncomfortable being exposed around Sam and Jess, despite the fact that he knew they didn't judge him.

Dean dressed in his usual t-shirt and jeans, then went to the kitchen to get some coffee.

Castiel followed, giving Sam and Jess a hesitant smile as he took his mug, fidgeting.

"Morning you guys," Jess greeted, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt.

"Good morning," Castiel replied, unable to make eye contact as h drank his coffee.

Jess blinked, and looked at Sam with a puzzled look.

Sam made a subtle gesture to Castiel's arms, exposed and heavily scarred. He knew that Castiel was extremely self-conscious about them.

Jess nodded, not fully understanding, but it let her know it wasn't anything she should bring up. "So, what is the plan for today?"  
"Well, first we gotta make sure Sam's got everything packed," Dean said.  
"I have the leave the big furniture here, like my desk and bed." Sam replied. "But pretty much everything else is coming."

"Got that right. So we'll be driving him there, get him settled, maybe eat something... Then we'll head back, get you on your flight home." Dean looked at them.  
Jess nodded. "It feels a little weird... I'm pretty much going home to Lawrence, just to go back here."  
Sam nodded. "Hey, everything will be fine." He smiled, kissing the top of her head.  
"What time does your flight leave tomorrow, Jess?" Castiel asked.

"11am," Jess replied, smiling.  
"All right." Dean nodded.

Castiel let out a breath. "Well, if you guys want to get started, I'll make breakfast and let you all know when it's ready."

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel's cheek. "Okay. Shout if you need any help."

"I will," Castiel gave Dean a soft smile, before starting to work on making breakfast.  
Sam went to his room. It was mainly boxes, but there were still things that needed to be packed.

Dean and Jess followed him to help, and started by moving the already packed boxes to the livingroom.

Castiel started making a full breakfast; eggs, bacon, pancakes, hashbrowns, and toast.

The other three worked on getting Sam's things packed, while also trying to keep the cats from jumping into the boxes.

Pirate ended up in a box with Sam's clothes, mewing loudly when the box had been stacked.

Dean cursed. "Damned cat! I told you not to get in the boxes!"

Sam laughed at his brother' a state, and helped find the box she was in to let her out.

Pirate mewed happily when she was let out of the box, and Dean picked her up. "Silly, silly cat..."

Sam chuckled. "You'll be moving too Pirate, just not in a box.

"You'll be in your carrier when me, you and Cas move to our awesome new house," Dean said, kissing Pirate's head before letting her down.

Pirate trilled before going to the kitchen to try and steal some bacon.

Daenerys followed after Pirate to the kichen, while Dean and Jess continued to help Sam pack.

Castiel kept the cats at bay. "Breakfast is ready!" He called out.

The three dropped what they were doing, and went to the kitchen.

Castiel served them all a full plate, smiling at them, although still not able to meet Sam or Jess' eyes.

Jess started to feel a little uncomfortable, not used to it, but tried her best to smile and act normal.

Sam wrapped his arm around her. "He's just really self-conscious." He murmured into her ear. "It's really hard for him."

Jess nodded, and leaned into the embrace."All right."

Castiel flushed, embarrassed and tugging his sleeves down as low as they would go.

Dean looked at Castiel, and gently put a hand on his arm. "Hey, it's okay," he murmured.

Castiel looked at Dean, fidgeting. "It's...really fucking hard." He murmured.

"I know, I know... But no one's judging you, Cas." Dean took Castiel's hand in his own. "And you are free to change shirts if you want. I'm happy you're trying, but if you find it too difficult... There's no reason to push yourself too far."

Castiel squeezed Dean's hand. "I...I think I will." He murmured, cheeks still flushed with embarrassment.

Dean nodded, and pressed a gentle kiss to Castiel's lips.

Castiel kissed back before he slipped out of the room to change into one of his normal shirts.

Dean watched Castiel go, then returned to his breakfast.

Castiel came back out, his shoulders less tense. "Jess?" He murmured quietly. "I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable..."

Jess looked a little surprised, then shook her head. "It's okay, Cas. There's no need to apologize."

"I do, I made you uncomfortable." Castiel replied.

"I'm just not used to people not looking at me," Jess admitted. "But it really is okay, Cas. I mean it." She smiled. 

Castiel gave her a small smile back, visibly relaxing.

Jess smiled a bit wider, and pulled Castiel into a hug.

Castiel hugged her back before sitting down to eat his breakfast.

They all ate their breakfast in a comfortable silence.

Once breakfast was done, all four of them finished packing Sam up, leaving only what he needed for the night that would be packed in the morning.

"Good work everyone," Dean said when they were done, grinning.

Castiel smiled as well, tired, but happy that Sam was all ready.  
Sam let out a long sigh. "This is...strange. Very, very strange."  
Dean patted Sam on the back. "Sure does. At least it won't take as much time as it did when we moved from Lawrence."

"Yeah. And we don't have nearly as much stuff either.

Dean nodded. "Yeah. It'll be a lot easier this time around."

"Well, why don't we go out for lunch?" Castiel suggested. "I'm too tired to cook."

"Sounds good," Dean said. "We deserve something nice for our hard work."

Castiel nodded, looking at Sam and Jess. "I'm feeling up for Italian, what about you guys?"

"Italian sounds great," Jess replied, smiling.  
Sam nodded. "Sounds good to me, there's that little place downtown that's really good."

"All right then, let's go there," Dean said.

Castiel and Sam went to go and change out of their sweaty work shirts.

Dean and Jess went to do the same, and then Dean made sure the cats had food and water.

Castiel grabbed the keys to the Impala and gave them to Dean. "Everyone ready?"  
"Yep!" Sam smiled.

"All right then, let's go," Dean said, and they headed out to the car.  
Castiel slipped into the passengers seat, stretching out and letting out a content groan.

Dean chuckled at his husband as he got into the driver's seat, and watched Sam and Jess get into the backseat before he started the car. 

Castiel leaned into Dean, his stomach growling a little.

Dean kissed Castiel's temple, before he started driving them to the Italian restaurant.

Castiel smiled happily, and when they arrived at the restaurant, got out first so he could put their name in for a table.

Dean stretched as he got out of the car, then followed after Castiel with Sam and Jess.

Lunch was fairly good, Sam enjoying his food and the company of his family. He felt a little nervous about moving out on his own, but he was ready for it.  
Later that night, Sam knocked gently on the door to Dean and Castiel's bedroom. "Dean?"

Dean opened the door, dressed in a t-shirt and underwear, looking a bit surprised. "Hey. What's up?"

Sam pointedly kept his eyes on Dean's face. "Can you put some pants on? I...kinda want to go on a drive with just you, if that's okay."

"... Oh. Yeah, sure." Dean nodded and went back into the room to pull a pair of jeans and socks on, and tell Castiel that he'd be going out.

Castiel nodded and gave Dean a kiss before snuggling back into the covers, worn out.  
Sam was fidgeting slightly, waiting for Dean by the door.

Dean smiled at Sam as he closed the bedroom door and grabbed the car keys. "Well, let's go then."

Once they were in the impala, Sam relaxed slightly. "This is...very, very strange. I'm moving out, tomorrow." He murmured.

Dean nodded as he started the car. "I know, buddy. It'll be fun though, right? You can do what you want," he said as he started to drive.

"I know, and I'm honestly ready, but...at the same time, it feels like it's going to fast, you know?"

"Yeah... But you'll be just fine. Just gotta take a deep breath, relax, and think of all the good things."

Sam smiled, humming along to the radio as they fell into an easy silence. "I just want to thank you," he finally said. "For everything. Everything you did for me. When Dad would forget to buy groceries, and you would leave the food for me and go hungry yourself. How you always defended me, took the brunt of everything so I wouldn't get hurt. I can't thank you enough for that."

"... You're my little brother Sam, even if you're bigger than me now. I had to take care of you. You don't need to thank me for it," Dean said.

"Yes, I do." Sam replied "don't think I didn't see how I always got new clothes while yours just got more and more worn down, how you always made sure I could do an extracurricular activity, and he'll, even taking me home and making sure I was okay when I was sick, even if you were exhausted after a big football game. I owe you...everything."

Dean said nothing for a while, and let the radio fill the silence until he finally spoke up again. "... I just wanted you to be a kid. A normal kid. I got to spend more time with Mom than you did, and when Dad just... I'm happy I could do something for you."

"You did everything for me, Dean." Sam replied. "Even when I...when the drugs happened. You were there for me, you didn't...you didn't toss me out." That had been his biggest fear when he told Dean, that Dean would kick him out.

"Of course I didn't... You're my brother, Sam. What kind of brother would I be if I kicked you out? You needed help, and I'll always take care of you," Dean murmured.

Sam smiled softly, looking at his older brother. "Hell, you were gonna give up Cas for my sake, Dean. It's just...thank you. Thank you for everything."

"... Well, I guess you finally got your chick flick moment, Sammy," Dean mumbled, but he couldn't hide the small smile playing on his lips. "You're welcome."

Sam laughed. "Can we go get burgers? Just like we did back when we were little and Dad was being rough?"

"Sure. Anything for you, Sammy," Dean said, smiling a bit wider.  
Sam smiled. "And sorry for subjecting you to a chick flick moment. Although god knows you share enough of those with Cas."

Dean huffed softly and swatted Sam on the shoulder. "I'm married to the guy!"  
Sam laughed. "Doesn't change anything. I know you enjoy making breakfast for him, and doing other sweet little things, as much as you deny it to everyone else."

Dean's face turned pink and he grumbled. "Shut up or you won't get your burger."  
Sam chuckled, and sang off-key to the radio.

Dean was quiet for a few moments, then gave up and joined in on the terrible singing.  
"Hey I'm a cowboy! On a steel horse I ride," Sam sang.

"I'm wanted dead or alive! Wanted dead or alive," Dean continued.  
Sam smiled when the song ended. "I have to say, I have missed it just being us."

"Yeah... Me too, to be honest. It's been a long while since we spent some time together like this... Way too long."  
Sam nodded. "We'll have to do this every now and then. Just us, let Jess and Cas discuss recipes or whatever it is they talk about."

"They probably gossip and talk shit behind our backs," Dean joked. "But yeah... That sounds good."

Sam laughed. "I'm actually thinking of proposing sometime soon." He murmured.

"Well... It would be about time. How long have you been together now? You're perfect together, too."  
"Six years." Sam chuckled. "I have to wait until Jess turns eighteen though, it's a few months away."

"Yeah." Dean nodded. "To be honest with you... I think she'll say yes."

Sam smiled. "I really hope she will." He murmured.

Dean reached out to pat Sam on the shoulder. "She'd be crazy to turn you down."

Sam smiled. "Dean...how was it, when you and Cas got engaged?" He asked. "What went through your mind?"

"... Well... At first I didn't really think about it. It was constantly on my mind since I had the ring on my finger, but it... Kinda didn't feel real.   
Why would anyone want to marry me? Why would anyone like Cas want to do that? But... I was happy. Still am."

"Of course Cas wanted to marry you!" Sam replied. "You take such good care of him, you love him more than anything, and he loves you too."

Dean huffed. "I just had a bit of a hard time believing it. Especially after... Everything that happened."

Sam nodded. "You know that none of that was your fault, right?"

"... But I was part of the problem, and it shouldn't have ended like it did," Dean said. "And the drivethrough's a minute away. Better think about what you want."

Sam just sighed, knowing he couldn't talk Dean out of his guilt, and decided on a burger with lettuce, tomato, and onion.

Dean got himself a cheeseburger with onions. After they got and paid for their burgers, Dean drove to a vacant parking spot and parked the car.

Sam ate his burger happily, relaxing in the leather seat. "How would you have proposed?" Sam asked, swallowing. "If Cas didn't ask you first?"

Dean thought about it while he chewed. "... At that time I didn't really have a plan. I thought a lot about Mom and Dad's rings, and the morning before we went to church, I kinda just... Wanted to ask him "Hey, wanna get married" or something."

Sam snorted. "Romantic as always, I see." He teased.

Dean huffed, turning pink in embarrassment. "I was nervous, okay? Could barely think."

Sam chuckled. "If you could plan it out, what would you do?" He asked.

"... I probably would cook dinner, treat him to a massage and a warm bath... Then, before getting into bed for sex or sleep... I'd propose." 

Sam nodded, smiling softly. "Thanks. I'm trying to think as to how I'd ask Jess."

"It's nothing. And really, you'll do just fine," Dean said.

Sam nodded, finishing his burger."thanks for doing this with me," he murmured.

"Anything for you, Sammy." Dean smiled. "You getting ready to go back, or do you wanna drive around for a bit more?"

"What do you feel up for? I kinda pulled you away right before you were going to sleep."

"Sleep would be nice, but... This might be the last time we do this, so sleep isn't really important."

"Then let's drive a little more," Sam asked.

Dean nodded. "Okay," he said, wiping his hands on a napkin before starting the car again.

Sam relaxed into the seat. "Still can't believe Bobby and Ellen are married." He chuckled.

"Yeah, me neither. While I'm not surprised they hooked up... Actually getting married? Pretty shocking."

"Indeed." Sam chuckled. "Jo called me the other day to complain about it. Says it's sickening."

Dean grinned. "Well, I don't really want to imagine it. Old people sex, ew. But I'm happy for them."

Sam chuckled. "I agree wholeheartedly." They fell into a comfortable silence.

They drove around for a while under silence, before they decided to head back to the apartment.

When they got out of the impala, Sam gave Dean a huge hug.

Dean smiled, and hugged back tightly.

"I'll miss your musk," Sam joked before letting go.

Dean chuckled. "I'll miss yours too," he joked back, and patted Sam on the chest.

Sam smiled. "Well, let's get back to our significant others. See you tomorrow."

"Yeah. See you tomorrow, Sammy. And sleep well," Dean said, returning the smile.

Sam went back to his room.  
Castiel was asleep, snoring softly into Dean's pillow.

Dean smiled and kissed Castiel's cheek, before he quietly got undressed and brushed his teeth, then finally slipped into bed.

Castiel curled up next to his husbands warm body, still asleep.

Dean stole Castiel's pillow to sleep on, then put an arm over Castiel and went to sleep.


	60. Chapter 60

Castiel woke the next morning to the sound of the alarm. They had to be up early to take Jess to the airport, and then return to load the impala with everything.

Dean grunted, and buried his face in the pillow, not wanting to get up.

Castiel groaned, and reached over to shut it off, slumping back into Dean.

"Don' wanna," Dean whined, voice muffled by the pillow.

"Doesn't change the fact that we need to get Jess to the airport." Castiel replied with a yawn.

Dean huffed, and pulled the pillow from under his head to cover his face with it.

Castiel gently pried the pillow away so he could give Dean a kiss on the lips.

Dean blinked sleepily at Castiel. "It's a good thing I love you..."

Castiel smiled. "I love you too." He replied, kissing Dean once more.

Dean managed a small smile. "Mmh... I need coffee."

Castiel smiled. "Only if you give me one more kiss." He replied.

Dean pouted, and tried not to look too eager as he leaned in to kiss Castiel.

Castiel smiled into the kiss. "Okay, okay, you've persuaded me," he teased, getting out of bed and going to pull on clothes.

"I loooooove you," Dean said, then rolled onto his back and stretched.

Castiel laughed. "I love you too," he replied, going to the kitchen to start the coffee.

Dean remained in bed for a few minutes, before he got out and pulled some clothes on.

Castiel was giving Sam and Jess some coffee as well. Both of the younger couple had hickeys showing on their necks.

Dean didn't comment on it when he went into the kitchen. "Mornin' guys," he murmured.

"Mornin," Sam replied, nursing his cup of coffee. Castiel handed Dean his own mug.

"Thanks," Dean murmured, and kissed Castiel's cheek.  
Jess leaned her head on Sam's shoulder.

"Well, we need to leave in half an hour." Castiel told them. "Jess, you have everything you need?"

"Yeah, I do," Jess replied softly. She didn't really want to leave.

Sam kissed her temple. "We'll see you in a week, remember?"

Jess nodded. "I know, but I still don't want to leave," she said.

Sam gave her a hug. "We'll be living together soon," he murmured. "And we'll wake up to each other every morning."

Jess returned the hug. "Yeah, we will." She sighed happily.

Castiel smiled at the sight, kissing Dean's cheek. "Remember our first night here?" He murmured.

Dean nodded and smiled. "How could I ever forget that?"

Castiel smiled too, and gave Dean a kiss on the lips.  
Sam nuzzled his face into Jess' hair. "I love you," he murmured. "And we'll skype every night, okay?"

"I love you too. And you promise?" Jess asked.

"I promise." Sam murmured.

"Okay." Jess held him a little tighter.

Castiel sighed. "That was almost us..." He murmured, feeling a little sad.

Dean put an arm around Castiel. "It's only for a week, then they'll be together again."

Castiel nodded. "For good." He murmured. "I wonder when Sam is going to get the nerve to propose..."

Dean grinned. "Ssh. Let's talk about that later," he said.

Castiel raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything more,

When the coffee had been finished, they all went to get ready to drive Jess to the airport.

Sam helped Jess load her suitcase into the trunk of the Impala, always touching and kissing her.  
Jess was the same, keeping close to Sam and holding onto his shirt pretty much all the time.  
Dean said nothing as he got into the driver's seat.

Castiel said nothing either, knowing he could be the same if their positions were switched.  
Once they were settled in, Sam pulled Jess as close as he could! cuddling with her.

Jess rested her head on Sam's shoulder.  
Dean started the car and put on a soft rock station on low volume, then started to driving.

Castiel leaned into Dean, his hand on his husbands thigh.  
When they got to the airport, Sam held Jess for a long time.

Jess really didn't want to let go, though eventually she had to, but not until after she'd kissed Sam.

Sam gave her one last kiss before letting her go, making sure she got inside safely before turning back and going to the car. He was quiet as he got I to the backseat.

Dean turned his head to look at Sam, before he turned back to the road and started the car, then drove them back to the apartment.

When they got back, Castiel made a couple of sandwiches before they started to load the impala with Sam's things.

"Do you wanna drive, Sammy?" Dean asked when they were loading the last of Sam's things into the car.

Sam thought about it. "Not really, actually. Although, if it's okay with Cas, I'd like to ride shotgun."  
Castiel nodded. "Of course." He replied.

"All right," Dean said with a nod. "Let's finish up and get going, then."

Castiel and Sam doubled checked and made sure Sam had everything he needed before they loaded up in the car, sitting next to Daenerys in her carrier.  
Dean made sure that everyone were settled, before he started driving.

Sam turned the radio on to a soft rock station, letting it play as he stared out the window.

Dean said nothing, but glanced over at his brother every now and then.

Daenerys started mewing after a while, the car ride having taken much longer than she was used to.

"Is she all right?" Dean asked, glancing at Castiel through the rearview mirror.

Castiel checked, and pet her through the wire. "She's probably just not used to being in the car this long." He replied.

Dean nodded. "All right. Well, there's not much we can do about that..."

Castiel nodded, and murmured to her. He was slightly afraid of how the two cats would behave after being separated.

Dean focused fully on the road again, hoping that the rest of the trip would go by faster.

Finally, they started seeing signs for Stanford. Sam perked up a little at that.

Dean smiled as he glanced over at Sam, but said nothing.

Sam pulled out the paper with his new address and directions, and started to direct Dean.

Dean followed the directions, and soon they reached the right adress.

Sam smiled as he looked at the building. "Well, this is...wow."

Dean patted Sam on the shoulder. "Welcome to your new home, college boy."

Sam gave Dean a huge grin before he got out, getting out the key and heading up to the correct apartment.

Dean got out of the car, and stretched as he watched his brother go. "Seeing him that happy kind of makes all of this feel a bit easier," he said, looking at Castiel.

Castiel smiled. "Yes, I agree." He murmured. "This is the right path for him."  
Dean nodded. "It really is. And he's going to give it his all."

He wouldn't be Sam Winchester if he didn't," Castiel replied, getting Daenerys so she could get out of the carrier soon.  
Dean chuckled. "Yeah, that's true," he said, and grabbed one of the boxes. Then he walked with Castiel up to Sam's apartment.

Jess' parents had paid for some furniture, which had already been set up. Sam smiled as he looked around. "This is perfect."  
Castiel smiled, and let Daenerys out in the bedroom, giving her food,water, and her letterbox before shutting the door, so they wouldn't have to worry about a cat among their feet.

Dean put the box on the floor and looked around too. "Yeah, it really is. I would be jealous if me and Cas weren't moving into a house."

Sam stuck his tongue out. "Rub it in, don't you." He chuckled. Then he followed Dean back down to retrieve the rest of the boxes.  
It took a while, but eventually they moved all of Sam's stuff from the car to the apartment.

Sam stretched and flopped over onto the couch. "Phew, that was a lot of work,"  
"Indeed," Castiel replied, getting some water bottles and passing them around.  
"Thanks," Dean murmured, opening the bottle and taking a long drink from it.

Castiel and Sam mirrored Dean, before Castiel just sat right on the ground, wiping his forehead.

Dean went to the window and looked out, while sipping his water.

"Thanks for helping me move," Sam said after a little.   
"Of course, Sam. Why wouldn't we?" Castiel replied.

"Family is supposed to help each other out," Dean said.

"You sound like you're from Lilo and Stitch," Sam teased.

Dean huffed. "It's true, though."

Castiel chuckled, and laid down on the carpet, stretching. The movement exposed his scarred hips, which Sam quickly looked away from.  
Dean barely noticed, used to seeing the scars. "You guys wanna go see if there are any good places to eat around here?"

"Sounds good to me. Let's walk, since we won't have a car."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, all right."

"Give me a minute," Castiel replied, still stretched out on the floor like a cat.

Dean smiled. "Well, Sam. Looks like the floor is comfortable too."

Sam chuckled. "The carpet does feel fluffy.  
"It very much is," Castiel replied.

Dean grinned. "Just don't fall asleep, Cas. Our day is far from over."

Castiel just lay there for a minute before he sat up, his hair ruffled. "All right, I'm good."

Dean chuckled. "Awesome. So we're all ready to go?" He looked at Sam.

Sam nodded, and got up off the couch. "Yep," he smiled, letting them out and locking the door behind them with a grin.

"Someone's happy to finally have his own place," Dean said, smiling at his brother as they went outside.

"It's just, wow." Sam grinned. "And it'll be even better once Jess moves in."

Dean grinned too. "Yeah, I bet it will. You probably won't be leaving the apartment for a couple of days when she gets here."

Sam blushed a little, and Castiel chuckled. "I know that will be us when we move into our house,a Dean." He pointed out.

"I know that too. And boy, it's gonna be fun. We'll be able to use the table without anyone complaining..." Dean wiggled his eyebrows.

Castiel blushed, and Sam groaned. "Thanks for the mental image!"

Dean laughed and clapped Sam on the shoulder. "You're welcome, Sammy."

"Don't forget the kitchen counter," Castiel replied after a moment, causing Sam to groan. "Caaaassss, you're supposed to be on my side,"  
"My husband has corrupted me, I apologize." Castiel chuckled.

Dean chuckled and kissed Castiel on the cheek. "I love you."

Castiel smiled. "I love you too...and your dick." He smirked, causing Sam to groan again.

Dean just laughed, and gave Castiel's ass a gentle pat.

Castiel smiled, one that promised more to come that night, and continued walking.

Dean loved that smile, and grinned happily.  
After a bit of walking, they came across a place where they could eat.  
Sam smiled. "Ooh, a 24 hour IHOP!" He grinned.

"Oh boy... It's our lucky day," Dean said. "This is so awesome."  
Castiel chuckled. "All you can eat pancakes right now too...I lost you both to this place." He teased as they walked inside.

"Because we're hungry... Oh God, it smells amazing in here," Dean said.

Castiel chuckled, and they were seated and given menus. Castiel decided on a chefs salad, while Sam wanted the biggest meal that came with all you can eat pancakes.

Dean also went with the all you can eat pancakes, unable to pass up on it.  
Castiel chuckled. "You both are bottomless pita sometimes."

Dean smiled. "It's part of being a Winchester."  
"That is not a trait I gained when I took the name," Castiel chuckled.

Dean shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe you'll get it later on. Or maybe you'll be saved from it."

Sam chuckled. "You forget how you are around burgers, Cas."  
"Hey, that's a low blow." Castiel replied.

Dean grinned. "He does have e point though. But burgers are awesome."  
"Burgers are the exception." Castiel replied, sipping his coffee.

Dean nodded. "Like I said, burgers are awesome. And pie. Pie is awesome too."

Sam chuckled. "Indeed."

Dean grinned.  
When their food arrived, he lit up  
Castiel chuckled, and prayed before digging into his salad. "I love the salads here, they're so filled with stuff."

Dean wrinkled his nose. "You guys and your rabbit food..."

Castiel chuckled. "You'll hate to eat them every now and then. You can't live off of red meat alone."

"I don't only eat red meat... I eat lots of other stuff too," Dean mumbled, then took a big bite out of his pancakes.

"I know, I'm teasing," Castiel replied, nudging their knees together.

Dean stuck his tongue out at his husband.

Castiel just chuckled, and they happily ate, Sam ordering six additional rounds of pancakes.

Dean only managed four rounds until he decided that enough was enough.

Castiel ended up stealing a few pancakes from Sam, so Sam had another round before he was finished.

"I'm impressed with how much you can pack away," Dean said, looking at Sam with a smile.

"I have a high metabolism," Sam replied, stretching. "Ready to go?"

Dean nodded. "Yeah, let's get going."  
They paid their bill and left, walking back to Sam's apartment,

When they came back, Daenerys was mewing loudly in the bedroom.  
Sam went to let her out, and scooped her up into his arms.

Daenerys purred happily and nuzzled against Sam.  
Sam chuckled.  
Castiel went over to pet her and say goodbye since him and Dean needed to leave soon in order to make it back home in time.

Dean patted Sam gently on the back. "You better make sure to call us every now and then. Tell us how things are going," he said.

Sam nodded. "Of course. And you better call me too, especially if any thing happens." He replied.

"Yeah. We will. Take care of yourself, Sammy." Dean smiled.

"You too," he replied, giving Castiel, and then Dean, a huge hug.

Dean returned the hug. Then they said their good byes, before Dean and Castiel turned to leave.

Castiel slid into the passengers seat before looking at Dean. "You okay?"

"... I will be," Dean said, as he made himself comfortable and then started the car.

Ccastiel shifted over, slipping his arm around Dean's waist and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

Dean managed a small smile, but it fell when he turned his eyes back to the road as he started driving.

Castiel just stayed close to Dean, cuddling him as they drove back to their own apartment.

Dean was quiet during most of the drive, letting the radio fill the silence, and he was tired when they finally made it back.

Castiel waited until the car was parked before gathering Dean into his arms.

"I'm fine," Dean said even as he leaned against Castiel and his voice did nothing to support his statement.

Castiel pressed a kiss to Dean's hair. "It's okay, I'm right here for you." He murmured.

Dean nodded and shifted a bit, so he could press his face into Castiel's neck.

Castiel just held Dean close. "I love you," he murmured. "And it's okay to let go if you need to."

"I love you too," Dean whispered, then went quiet again.

Castiel rubbed his hand over Dean's back as he sang Hey Jude.

Dean had his eyes closed as he leaned against his husband, and slowly relaxed.

When Dean was pliant in his arms, Castiel murmured. "Let's go to bed, we can finish packing in the morning."

Dean nodded. "All right... Sounds good to me," he mumbled.

Castiel pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead before they got out of the car.

Dean locked the car, then grabbed Castiel's hand as they headed up to their apartment.

Castiel held Dean's hand as they let themselves in, Pirate mewing loudly from Sam's old room.

Dean let go of Castiel's hand so he could let Pirate out from the room, then picked her up and apologized for leaving her alone.

Pirate purred and rubbed her head against Dean's cheek as Castiel locked the doors and went to start getting ready for bed.

Dean cuddled with Pirate for a while, then put her down and went to the bedroom.  
Pirate followed, jumping up on the bed before settling down and grooming herself.  
Castiel was lying down, and he opened his arms for his husband.  
Dean took off his jeans, before he slipped into bed and his husband's arms.

Castiel held Dean close. "I know you hate talking about emotions, but how are you feeling?" He asked.

Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel's waist and sighed. "I already miss him..."

Castiel nodded, pressing his lips to Dean's forehead. "You'll be okay...you'll miss him, and he misses you. But you two have your own lives."

"Yeah, I know... But it's gonna be weird, not having him around," Dean mumbled.

"I know what you mean." Castiel murmured. "Maybe sometime soon, we'll need to have some little feet running around our house."

"... You sure you wanna have kids with me?" Dean asked.

"Why wouldn't I?" Castiel asked softly.

Dean shrugged slightly. "I dunno," he murmured.

"I want to raise a family with you," he murmured. "I can't think of a better person to do that with."  
Dean smiled a little. "I wanna have kids with you too... Though, let's wait for a while - until we know we that we're ready for it."

Castiel nodded, and nuzzled into his husband. "I love you," he murmured.  
"I love you too," Dean whispered.  
Castiel kissed Dean again. "Sleep, you need it." He murmured.  
"You need it too," Dean murmured. "Good night, Cas..."

"Good night, I love you." He whispered softly.  
"Love you too," Dean mumbled, then went quiet, and after not too long, he was fast asleep.  
Castiel remained awake for quite a while, just watching over Dean and thinking about their move.

Dean slept deeply and stayed completely still, but with a small frown on his face.  
Castiel frowned slightly at the sight, and leaned down to press soft kisses to the corner of his lips.

Dean sighed in his sleep and tightened his hold around Castiel.

Castiel just cuddled close, closing his eyes and finally falling asleep after a while.


	61. Chapter 61

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so ends Part 2 of the Beat The Odds Verse. We hope you guys enjoyed rest of the story :)
> 
> There are more parts that we've written, but we're leaving it here for now until we both get a handle on life again, and feel like we can update without abandoning you guys for months.
> 
> Thank you for all the love and support. It truly means the world to us :D
> 
> ~Cinder and Uke

Dean woke up in the morning when the alarm went off, and he groaned as he pressed his face into Castiel's shoulder.

Castiel shifted, and buried his face into Dean's hair. "Mmmm..."

"Mornin'," Dean mumbled, a bit annoyed that they had to get up at some point.

"Morning," Castiel mumbled. "This is the last morning we'll be in this room..."  
"Yeah... It feels really weird." Dean sighed softly.

"I know. But, we'll have a whole house to break in," he chuckled.  
"Mmh... That is true." Dean smiled a little at that.

Castiel smiled too, and gave Dean a kiss. "We may have to do something a little special, huh green eyes?" He whispered.  
Dean stared, then grinned. "Yeah.. All right," he murmured.

Castiel chuckled. "I may or may not have a new set of lingerie, just for you." He murmured, kissing him teasingly before getting out of bed.  
Dean watched his husband. "Oh? Care to give me a hint?" he asked.

Castiel smiled. "Green," he replied.  
"Awww... C'mon, that's not a fair hint," Dean complained.

"There are panties involved," he winked, before digging into one of the boxes and pulling out a pair of very lacy deep green panties. He pulled down his boxers and slid the panties over his hips, his back to Dean before he pulled on a pair of jeans.

Dean was quiet as he stared at his husband with big eyes, watching him get dressed. "... One day, you and your sexy ass are gonna be the death of me," he said gruffly, and finally got out of bed himself.

Castiel just chuckled. "I love you too," he replied, winking at Dean.

Dean stuck his tongue out, though couldn't help but smile as he got dressed.

Castiel finished getting dressed and gave Dean a kiss before he went to get some cereal for them to eat, since their cooking supplies were packed away.

Dean took the chance to start packing away the things they hadn't yet packed, mostly the small things, like the chargers for their phones.

Castiel handed Dean a plastic bag with cereal and a little bit of milk. "Here you are," he smiled. "Sorry it's not more."

Dean kissed Castiel on the cheek. "It's okay. We can go get a proper meal later."

Castiel nodded, and smiled softly. "I called the movers, they'll be here at noon to move our furniture."  
"Oh, all right. That's great." Dean smiled. "And we don't have much packing left... We've done a good job."

"Great," Castiel smiled back, moving to sit at the table so he could start eating his own cereal.  
Dean joined Castiel at the table to eat breakfast with him.  
When they finished Castiel got up to throw the trash away, the low-riding jeans offering Dean a glimpse of the panties Castiel was wearing.  
Dean stared and licked his lips. "This is gonna be a long day," he murmured, and got up to start packing again.  
Castiel got all the trash together and ready to toss before joining Dean to help finish packing the rest of their belongings, only leaving the large items the movers would lift.

When they had packed everything, Dean turned to Castiel and smiled. "Now all that's left is to bring it all to our new home."  
Castiel smiled back, and gave Dean a huge hug. "Our house." He smiled.  
Dean hugged back, grinning widely. "Yeah. Ours."  
Castiel smiled, and pressed a kiss to Dean's lips.  
Dean kissed back gently. "Mmh... Can't wait until we get to try new things out, without anyone complaining."

Castiel smiled. "Agreed," he murmured, kissing Dean again.

Dean hummed, and reached down to gently pat and squeeze Castiel's ass.

Castiel smirked. "Enjoying that I'm wearing panties?"

"Do you have to ask that question?" Dean grinned.

Castiel laughed. "I picked them out especially for you...I know how much you love lace," he whispered.  
"You got me all figured out," Dean murmured, his hands still on Castiel's backside. 

Castiel smiled, and gave Dean another kiss. "I love you," he murmured.

"I love you too," Dean said, smiling and returning the kiss.

Castiel let go once the kiss broke. "Let's get a pirate in her carrier and the car loaded up," he murmured.  
Dean nodded. "Yeah, all right." He gave Castiel's ass one last pat, before letting go, so he could get the carrier.

Castiel went and found Pirate, holding her close and petting her until they could put her into her carrier.  
When Pirate had been put in the carrier, Dean closed and secured the door to it. "There we go..."

Castiel smiled, and then they started to load the car up with smaller, more fragile boxes.  
Dean couldn't help but stare each time Castiel leaned over and showed off the panties, and he thought it was a miracle that he didn't drop or break anything.

Castiel chuckled the fourth time he caught Dean staring. "Once we get to our house, you can pull them off," he promised. "Or you can wait, and I can put on even more lingerie. Your choice."

"... You got more stuff?" Dean asked, trying not to sound too hopeful or eager.

Castiel smiled seductively. "For the right price," he purred, slipping into Angel.  
Dean swallowed. "... Of course. Anything you want."

Castiel moved closer. "I really like you, green eyes, so I'll give you a deal. I'll wear whatever lingerie you want me to, a corset, whatever, so long as I get to be the one to fuck you tonight."  
Dean looked at his husband, and licked his lips as he thought about it. "Yeah. Okay. Deal."

Castiel smiled. "Deal. What would you like me to wear?"  
"Uh... Keep the panties on. Put on a pair of stockings, garter belt... And one of my t-shirts. The tightest you can find," Dean murmured. 

Castiel smiled. "Deal, he murmured, pressing a kiss to Dean's cheek.  
Dean smiled. "Tonight's gonna be awesome," he said.

Castiel smiled. "I'm looking forwards to it," he replied.  
Dean grinned. "Me too... Now let's continue packing, hot stuff."

Castiel pecked his lips before they finished loading up the car. "All right, half an hour before the movers are here."

"Yeah... Man, it's gonna be nice to live in a house again," Dean said.

Castiel nodded in agreement. "I miss the space a house gives," he murmured.  
"Me too... And I think I look forward to using the new bathroom the most."

Castiel chuckled. "The one you insisted had to have a giant bathtub?" He teased.  
Dean nodded and grinned, clearly excited about it. "Yeah! We both fit in there without trouble, and that means we can have amazing baths in it."

Castiel laughed at Dean's excitement. "I love you, you know that?"  
Dean rolled his eyes, but smiled. "I love you too."

Castiel gave him a kiss, and pulled his husband to sit on the couch with him, cuddling close.  
Dean put his arms around Castiel and held him close, sighing softly as he leaned back.

Castiel relaxed into his husband, nuzzling into his neck and pressing a few soft kisses there, happy to just relax.  
Dean rubbed Castiel's lower back, and eventually his hand wandered down to simply rest on Castiel's backside.

Castiel smiled. "It's driving you crazy, isn't it?" He murmured.  
"Fuck, yeah... But imagining old people having sex is a good way to remain under control," Dean replied.

Castiel chuckled. "But what if I don't want you to remain under control?" He purred into Dean's ear.  
"W-well... Uh... I'd happily get it on right here and now, but we got a deal," Dean murmured, voice a bit strained.

Castiel chuckled, and nipped at Dean's ear. "Good boy," he whispered.  
Dean shuddered, and gently squeezed Castiel's ass.

Castiel smiled, and cuddled against Dean again, shifting so his legs were slung over Dean's lap.  
Dean buried his nose in Castiel's hair, one of his hands now resting on Castiel's legs. He hoped his husband wouldn't notice that he was at least half hard.  
Castiel noticed, but didn't push, just enjoying cuddling with Dean.  
Dean kissed Castiel's hair, and they continued to cuddle until the movers came.

Castiel and Dean helped the movers when they could, and then the apartment was empty and it was time for them to leave.  
Castiel leaned against Dean, looking at the bare walls of the apartment that had been their home for years.

Dean took Castiel's hand in his own and laced their fingers together.

"This feels surreal," he murmured, squeezing Deans hand.  
"It does, but we'll be getting something much better," Dean said.

Castiel nodded, and looked around one last time to make sure they weren't forgetting anything. "All right, let's go."  
Dean kissed Castiel's cheek, before they headed out, closing the door behind them.

Castiel locked the door for the final time, and they went out to the Impala to drive to their new house.  
Dean sighed softly as he sat down in the driver's seat, and made sure Castiel was properly settled before he started the car.

Castiel smiled at Dean, and laced their fingers together when they were on the road.  
Dean glanced at his husband and smiled back, then gently squeezed Castiel's hand as he looked back at the road.

Castiel relaxed and hummed along to the radio for the hour-long drive.  
Dean listened to Castiel hum during the ride, but started getting restless when they were about ten minutes away from their new home.

Castiel looked at Dean. "You okay?" He murmured.  
Dean nodded. "Yeah, just... Excited."

Castiel smiled. "I am as well," he murmured, tucking his head against Dean's shoulder as they got closer.  
Dean smiled softly as they drove the rest of the way. When they arrived, he parked the car.  
Castiel smiled. "Our new home."

Dean smiled back and nodded, and leaned in to kiss Castiel on the lips.

Castiel kissed back, and smiled. "Ready?"  
"Yeah, I think so," Dean said, then took a deep breath and climbed out of the car.

Castiel followed, and took Dean's hand, lacing their fingers together as they went to the front door.  
Dean smiled at Castiel, before he opened the door to their home.

Castiel smiled, and stepped in, looking around with a huge smile on his face?"  
Dean stepped inside after him, and also looked around. "It feels unreal..."

Castiel nodded. "But it's ours," he smiled.  
"It is. And I love it." Dean smiled.

Castiel smiled and leaned up to kiss Dean long and sweet. "Let's unload."  
Dean kissed back gently, then nodded. "Yeah, let's."

They unloaded the boxes from the Impala and helped the movers move the furniture into the correct rooms. After a very long day, everything was in their new house.

Dean flopped down on the couch with a groan. "Maaaan... I'm beat."

Castiel was laying out on the floor. "Agreed," he murmured.  
"But at least we got it all done," Dean added, and closed his eyes for a moment.

"Mhm," Castiel hummed in agreement, stretching. "All right, you just relax, let me go get the bed ready." He got up, and made the way to their new bedroom.  
"Okay. Shout if you need help," Dean called after him, without opening his eyes.

After about twenty minutes, Castiel called out "Dean! Cmere,"  
Castiel was laying on the bed, wearing exactly what Dean had told him to. A green garter belt and stockings matched the panties, and he was wearing an AC/DC shirt that Dean had had since middle school, which was straining slightly against Castiel's chest.

When Dean entered their bedroom and saw Castiel laying on the bed, he just stared at first. Then he swallowed, and moved over to the bed, his eyes running over Castiel's body. "Hot damn..."

Castiel gave him a flirty smile. "Thought you'd never come, green eyes." he purred. "Like what you see?"

Dean grinned as he sat down, and reached out to gently touch Castiel's arm. "Of course I do," he murmured.

Castiel smiled back at him. "Good, I'm glad." he murmured, shifting slightly so his muscles rippled a little. "It's been so long since you came to see me," he pouted. "Don't tell me that husband of yours is hell bent on keeping you away?"

Dean hummed and moved his hand to Castiel's chest, then down to his stomach. "Sort of... But he's busy right now. So here I am, and we got a lot of time tonight before I gotta go back. We got all night, to be exact." He smiled. "So wipe that pout off and give me that sweet smile of yours."

Castiel smiled at Dean. "Good," he purred, his hand folding over Dean's. "I've missed you, you know. You're my favourite client." he murmured, bringing Dean's hand up so he could kiss at his knuckles and fingers.

Dean chuckled softly. "Well aren't you sweet? But, to be honest with you... I missed you too. I love my husband, but you... You're amazing, Angel. You give me everything he won't."

Castiel gave Dean a flirty smile. "I bet he won't even dress up for you." he murmured, taking Dean's index finger into his mouth and sucking gently on the tip.  
"You're right, he won't... But that just make you even better." Dean smiled. "Man... The things I want to do to you right now."

Castiel smiled slyly, and turned on his side. "Tell me, and maybe we can do them." he purred, still pressing kisses to Dean's hand.

Dean grinned. "Well... I think I wanna start by kissing you all over... And I'll pay you extra if I get to leave marks."

"Hmmm..." Castiel thought about it. "Deal, but none that can be seen when I'm wearing a shirt," he murmured.

Dean caressed Castiel's cheek. "Good enough for me," he said, smiling. "Lay back, pretty Angel."

Castiel smiled back, and laid down on his back, shifting until he was comfortable.  
Dean moved closer and straddled Castiel's thighs, then started to slowly run his hands over Castiel's torso. "I really, really like this shirt of yours, Angel..."  
"Thanks, it's yours," Castiel smirked. "I borrowed it last time you came to see me."  
"You naughty thing. It's a good thing you look good in it, else I would've punished you for it..." Dean found Castiel's nipples, and gently pinched them through the shirt.  
Castiel gasped and let out a low whine.  
"You know how I would punish you?" Dean asked, but didn't wait for a reply. "I would tease you... I would kiss you all over, suck your pretty cock through your pretty little panties... Then I would take your cock out, so I could lick and suck it. You know what I'd do next?" He gently pushed the shirt up, to reveal Castiel's torso.  
Castiel squirmed a little. "What?" He asked breathily, his erection clearly visible through the panties.  
Dean leaned down to kiss Castiel's chest. "I'd continue to suck you off, until you're about to come... Then I'd stop. Wait until you're no longer on the edge, then I'd flip you over and eat you until you're begging for me to let you come... But I wouldn't. I'd stop again." He flicked one of Castiel's nipples with his tongue.  
Castiel whimpered. "Fuck..." He whispered, his erection twitching. "W-what then?"  
"Well... If you've been really bad, I might've made you take care of yourself and then have you suck me off... But if I think I might've been too hard on you... I would take pity on you. Help you out. Maybe even let you fuck me," Dean murmured, before wrapping his lip around the nipple and using his fingers to play with the other nipple.

Castiel whimpered and arced into Dean's mouth. "Please...I want to fuck you." He whimpered.  
Dean sucked hard on the nipple, and when he let go, the skin surrounding it was bruised. "Tell me how much you want it, and I might let you..."  
Castiel gasped softly. "I've been craving it since we met....to feel you around me, squeezing and milking me of my come, simply because you want me to."  
Dean looked up at Castiel. "When you think about it... Am I riding you, or am I on my hands and knees? Or am I on my back, with my legs spread wide?" he asked, and kissed Castiel's skin.

Castiel hummed in thought. "I was to see you riding me, putting those beautiful thighs of yours to work," he murmured.  
Dean chuckled. "All right, Angel... Since I like you so much, I guess I'll let you have me."

Castiel gave Dean a brilliant smile. "Until then, my body is yours." He murmured.  
Dean smiled back. "Perfect..." he murmured, then started to pepper Castiel's chest and stomach with kisses and marks.

Castiel let out soft sighs and noises as Dean kissed him, enjoying the attention.

Dean eventually moved lower to Castiel's crotch, nosing at the bulge in the lacy panties before dragging his lips along the length of it.

Castiel gasped and whimpered. "Oh god, green eyes...you know how to use that pretty mouth of yours." he said breathily.

Dean smirked as he ran his hand over Castiel's thighs, and started to gently suck on the head of his erection through the panties.

Castiel gasped and threw his head back. "Oh..." he whispered.

Dean gently pushed Castiel's legs apart and sucked harder, then simply lapped at the head before pulling away, so he could kiss Castiel's inner thighs.  
Castiel was breathing hard. "You're good." he whispered softly.

"Thank you..." Dean chuckled softly, and sucked marks on Castiel's thighs.

Castiel arced his back slightly, the panties wet with saliva and precome. he started to rut his hips against the air, needing friction.

Dean licked his lips and backed off a little, so that he could pull the panties down, just enough to uncover Castiel's erection.

Castiel opened his eyes to look at Dean. "It's nice and hard, just for you." he panted softly.

"Mmh... It's as pretty as a cock can be... I wonder what it'll feel like, stretching me open," Dean murmured, and licked a broad stripe along the shaft, from the base to the tip.

Castiel mewled softly. "Are you a virgin, green eyes? Has your husband ever had his cock up your ass, or will I be the first?"

"He's not man enough... Wouldn't be good at it either, I bet... I'll happily give it to you, Angel. You've been so good to me." 

Castiel smiled, and his fingers ran through Dean's hair. "Good. Good to know I'll be the only one who knows what it's like to have my cock up your ass, and that's something not even your husband can claim."

Dean leaned into the touch and smiled back at Castiel. "You're the only one worthy of it," he murmured. "Do you want to open me up, or should I do it myself?" he asked, before giving Castiel's erection another lick.

Castiel hummed in thought. "I'll let you kiss me once on the lips if you open yourself up." he decided.

Dean nodded. "All right, deal... Where do you have the lube?"

Castiel reached for the side table, and pulled it out. "Screw the condoms, we've barebacked enough as it is." he murmured, handing it to Dean. "Unless you'd like to use one."

"Nah. My husband won't notice even if I got come all over myself... We have no need for them." Dean put the lube aside for a moment, then sat up and removed his shirt.

Castiel licked his lips, and let his eyes roam over Dean's torso. "You're so handsome, and well built. Fuck, if this wasn't what I do for my living, I may want to keep you all for myself."

Dean laughed softly. "If I was rich, that would've been possible... But I'm not, unfortunately." He unbuckled and removed his belt, then slowly undid his jeans before pulling them down and off, together with his underwear. His erection was hanging heavy between his legs.

Castiel watched the strip tease, his own erection twitching at the sight. "May I have a taste?" he asked.

"Of course you can," Dean replied, and carefully moved over Castiel, his erection close to Castiel's face.

Castiel leaned up to lick and suck on the head, enjoying the taste of precome. "You taste delicious." he murmured when he let go.

Dean moaned softly. "That's good... You wanna have another taste before I go back to teasing you and starting to prep myself?"

Castiel leaned in and pressed one last kiss to the tip, licking up the drop of precome.

Dean shuddered, and gently patted Castiel's hair before pulling away and getting back between his legs.

Castiel spread his legs invitingly, looking up at Dean through his lashes.

Dean smiled up at him, then lowered himself so that he could kiss and lick at Castiel's erection.

Castiel shivered, and let out a soft gasp.

Dean lapped at the tip, licking up the precome, before wrapping his lips around it.

Castiel moaned, shuddering hard. His hands went to Dean's hair, tangling his fingers into it.

Dean took a little more of Castiel's erection in his mouth before he started to gently suck on it, while he grabbed the lube again.

Castiel didn't hold back the noises that spilled from his mouth, his fingers rubbing gently against Dean's scalp.

Dean flicked the tip with his tongue while he sucked, and tried to be discreet as he shifted a bit, spreading his own legs.  
Castiel was too focused on the hot mouth on his cock to notice Dean shifting.

Dean coated his fingers with lube and reached behind himself, while continuing to suck Castiel's cock, taking just a little more into his mouth.  
Castiel moaned loudly, gently pressing Dean's head down just a little father.

Dean made a soft noise but went with it, and started to slowly bob his head up and down.

Castiel was breathing hard, letting out a little noise with each exhale. He was glad to be able to be as loud as he wanted, and no one would disturb them.  
Dean tried to keep himself relaxed, but the angle was weird and when he finally managed to push a finger into himself, the way he moved his head became a bit stiff. Though he did his best to try to move as smoothly as before. 

Castiel noticed the difference, and opened his eyes. "Mm, you can shirt positions if you need a more comfortable one..." he murmured.

Dean just grunted softly and just continued, his cheeks pink. He didn't know of a better position.

Castiel noticed Dean's discomfort and gently pushed his head off of his erection. "Hand under your body, not over it." he murmured gently.  
Dean looked at Castiel and then away as he pulled out and moved his hand, under himself and between his legs. "Uh... Like this...?"

Castiel nodded, cupping Dean's cheek against his palm. "The angle is easier." he murmured.

Dean licked his lips, and closed his eyes as he tried again in the new angle. "... Shit, you're right."

Castiel chuckled. "I've opened myself up quite a bit, for clients. I have practice."

Dean smiled a little, and nuzzled into Castiel's hand. "Yeah..."

Castiel smiled. "Open yourself up, nice and pretty." he whispered. "I want to watch your face."

Dean chewed on his lip, but gave a small nod as he pushed one finger into himself, as far as he could go. He readjusted himself a little, spreading his legs wider.  
"There we go," Castiel murmured. "How does it feel? Opening yourself up for a whore?"

Dean swallowed thickly and kept his eyes closed as he worked himself open.

"I asked you a question, green eyes." Castiel murmured.

"I... It feels... Like nothing I've felt before," Dean replied.

"Do you like it?" Castiel asked softly, his thumb tracing over Dean's lips.

"It's... New, and maybe a bit weird, but... Yeah," Dean murmured.

Castiel smiled. "Add another finger." he whispered.

Dean nodded, and started to work a second finger inside, biting back a noise.

"Don't swallow those pretty noises," Castiel murmured. "I want to hear them."

Dean reluctantly let go of his lip, letting his mouth hang open slightly as he worked his fingers in and out slowly."Fuck..."

"Are you stretching yourself nice and wide for me?" Castiel murmured, tracing his thumb over Dean's bottom lip before pressing it into his mouth. "Go ahead, find your prostate."  
Dean pressed his tongue against the pad of Castiel's thumb as he started to feel around for that one spot. When he found it, he jerked, then let out a shaky breath and tilted his hips.

"Keep rubbing that spot," Castiel whispered. "Until you can't take it anymore. I don't want you to come just yet."

Dean nodded, and did as he was told, rubbing his prostate as he moved his fingers in and out. He moaned and breathed shakily around Castiel's thumb.  
"There we go. Does that feel good?" Castiel murmured, tracing along the back of Dean's teeth with his thumb.

Dean made an embarrassed noise and he nodded slightly, grabbing at the sheets with his free hand.

"Put another finger in," Castiel instructed, pressing his index finger into Dean's mouth as well.

Dean whined as he pushed in the third finger, spreading his legs as far as they would go. "A-ah..."

Castiel's erection twitched. "You're so beautiful like this." he whispered. "let me hear you, don't forget about your poor prostate. Probably so sensitive..."  
Dean's cheeks felt like they were on fire, as he worked his fingers in and out and moaned when they rubbed against his prostate. He was slowly losing himself in the feeling, and didn't notice when he started to slightly rock his hips.  
Castiel smiled as he noticed. "Why don't you do a fourth finger, since you seen to want them so much?" he suggested, pressing a third finger into Dean's mouth.  
Dean stilled his hips, but it only took a moment before he did add a fourth finger, groaning at the stretch.  
Castiel smiled. "Rub your prostate until you're on the edge, and then remove your fingers." he instructed.

Dean made a noise around Castiel's fingers, and started to move his fingers again and rubbing his prostate. He kept going until he was rocking his his again and breathing quickly, but before he pushed too far, he forced himself to stop, and carefully pulled his fingers out.  
Castiel smiled. "You're such a good boy. Do you want to take your kiss now, as a reward?"

Dean opened his eyes, and quickly glanced at Castiel before nodding and looking away.  
Castiel pulled Dean up, and put their faces close. "Go ahead, green eyes." he whispered, the blue pair locked onto the green.

Dean swallowed, and then slowly leaned in to press their lips together.  
Castiel returned the kiss softly, and nipped at Dean's lower lip when it broke. "I'm ready for you to ride me," he whispered.

"Y-yeah, okay..." Dean nodded and moved so that he was straddling Castiel's thighs, and grabbed the lube again to coat Castiel's cock with it.  
Castiel shuddered at the hand stroking him, and his hands rubbed Dean's thighs and hips.

Dean made sure that Castiel's erection was properly coated with lube, before he took a deep breath and positioned himself, the tip of it brushing against his entrance.  
Castiel moved one of his hands to hold his cock steady, looking up at Dean with wanting blue eyes.

Dean looked back at Castiel, and he took another deep breath before he slowly lowered himself onto Castiel's cock.  
Castiel moaned, and his hand tightened on Dean's hip. "Fuck...you feel so good." he whispered.

Dean shuddered and gasped as he sank down all the way. "Oh fuck..."

Castiel held onto Dean's hips, panting softly.  
Dean grabbed onto the headboard with one hand to steady himself, and let the other rest on Castiel's chest. "Tell me, Angel... What does it feel like, having your cock buried in a virgin ass?" he whispered.

"You're so tight, and so good..." He whispered, squeezing hard enough that there would be bruises on Dean's hip. "Fuck, you're perfect..."  
"Awesome..." Dean chuckled breathily, and then rolled his hips experimentally.

Castiel gasped, and groaned. "Feels good."  
"Bet it'll feel better in just a moment..." Dean murmured, closing his eyes. Then he slowly lifted his hips, just to sink back down.

Castiel moaned, and pressed his hips up until they were flush.  
Dean shuddered, and repeated what he'd just done, and continued to move up and down Castiel's cock.

Castiel groaned, and thrust up every now and then. "Oh, fuck..." He whispered.  
Dean gasped and pushed down harder when Castiel brushed against his prostate, and he tried to move a little faster.

Castiel threw his head back and moaned. "Fuck, you're good at riding..." He whimpered.  
"Ugh... It's harder than... Than it looks," Dean panted. "My thighs are already burning..."

"I'm close..." Castiel panted. "Just a little more..."  
"O... Okay..." Dean worked through the burn and clenched around Castiel, trying to coax his orgasm to come quicker.

Castiel cried out, and threw his head back. One hand moved to stroke Dean as he bucked up.  
"Fu-uck-" Dean groaned, losing his fluidity and just moving mindlessly

Castiel continued working Dean, trying to make him come first, although he was quickly losing his own fluidity.  
Dean squeezed his eyes shut as he somehow found an angle that was perfect and almost punched the noises out of him. Sooner than he thought, he pushed down one last time and came with a loud cry, clenching down hard.

Castiel saw stars as he came, the tightness of his husband overwhelming. He cried out, spilling into his husband, and in the back of his mind, realized this was the first time he had come without a condom into Dean.  
Dean was breathing heavily, his eyes still closed but his face relaxed, and he let go of the headboard to rest both his hands on Castiel's chest.

Castiel was breathing just as heavily, and he slumped into the bed, hands still on Dean's hips.  
"... Well, that was a new experience," Dean murmured after a little while.

"That was phenomenal..." He whispered, opening his eyes to look at his husband.  
Dean looked at him, then to the side. "Heh, yeah..."

Castiel let go of Dean's hips so he could pull off and move.  
Dean carefully got off his husband, legs a bit shaky, and moved to lay beside him. 

Castiel shifted and went to cuddle with Dean, nuzzling into him. "How was that for you?"  
Dean chewed on his lip. "... It was really good, actually. I... Liked that more than I thought I would."

Castiel smiled. "Good," he murmured. "What did you like the most?"  
"Uh... I'm not sure," Dean said, wrapping an arm around Castiel.

Castiel chuckled. "Now you know why I like riding you." He murmured.  
Dean smiled. "Yeah, I do. But I'll be sore tomorrow, that's for sure..."

Castiel rubbed his waist gently. "It felt good to come into you," he murmured.  
Dean nodded. "Good, 'cause that what I feel when I get to come inside of you."

Castiel smiled, and kissed the tip of Dean's nose. "I love you."  
"I love you too," Dean murmured, smiling softly.

Castiel smiled. "All right, I need to get undressed, the garter is digging into my skin."  
"All right, hot stuff," Dean said, and let go of his husband.

Castiel smiled, and gave him a kiss before getting out of bed to strip out of the lingerie, although he kept Dean's shirt on.  
Dean watched Castiel with a smile on his face, pleased with Castiel's choice.  
When he finished, he climbed back into bed and pulled the blankets over them, cuddling close. "You were fantastic, by the way." He smiled.  
"Really now?" Dean murmured, and wrapped his arms around Castiel.

"Mhm." Castiel smiled. "Best orgasm ever."  
Dean chuckled, and kissed Castiel's forehead. "Good."

Castiel smiled. "Do you want to clean yourself out before we go to sleep?"  
"I don't feel like moving... Don't even know if I can move. I'll deal with it in the morning," Dean murmured.

"All right," Castiel murmured softly, closing his eyes.  
Dean hummed and closed his own eyes. 

Castiel was asleep fairly quickly, exhausted after the long day of moving and the great sex.  
Dean fell asleep not long after, and slept like a log throughout the night.

Castiel woke the next morning in a great mood, stretching and grinning widely.  
Dean was still asleep beside Castiel, face pressed into the pillow and mouth slightly open.

Castiel smiled at hims, and shifted to press kisses along his neck and shoulder.  
Dean mumbled something in his sleep, then started to stir. "Mmh...?

"Morning, love." Castiel murmured.  
Dean yawned and blinked his eyes open. "Mmmh.. Morning."

Castiel smiled, and kissed Dean's lips. "First morning in our house."  
Dean kissed back and smiled sleepily. "Yeah... Damn, it feels good to have a house."

"Yes, it does." Castiel smiled.  
Dean shifted and stretched a bit, then sighed happily.

Castiel smiled, and nuzzled into Dean's chest.  
Dean kissed the top of Castiel's head. "By the way... We might have to change the sheets later," he murmured.

Castiel chuckled. "I was assuming that already. Leaked a little?"  
"Yeah, I think so..." Dean made a face.

Castiel couldn't help but chuckle. "You made the face I make."  
"Well, you were right about the aftermath not being very fun..."

 

Castiel chuckled. "But it is so worth it." He murmured.  
"Mmh... I have to agree," Dean said, smiling.

Castiel yawned and snuggled close, although his stomach growled.  
Dean chuckled softly. "Do we have any food or do we have to go buy some...?"

"We'll have to go out," he murmured.  
"Ugh... Then it can wait for a little longer," Dean murmured.

"Agreed," Castiel murmured, snuggling close.  
Dean put his arms around Castiel and held him close.


End file.
